PDA Society Podcast

PDA Society

Welcome to the PDA Society’s podcast, where we explore all things PDA to help make life easier for PDAers, their families, and everyone affected by demand avoidance. Research suggests PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) is a profile of autism, meaning individuals share similar strengths and challenges. A key feature of PDA is extreme demand avoidance – finding it hard or impossible to complete everyday tasks, even those they want to do. PDAers often use social strategies to manage demands, form deep connections with safe people, and experience strong emotions. Join us as we dive into PDA together! If any of the issues in today’s podcast affected you or you’d like to learn more, please visit our website for help and information on: www.pdasociety.org.uk

  1. Learning to Drive

    1D AGO ·  VIDEO

    Learning to Drive

    In this episode, Sarah from the PDA Society is joined by Tom Crellin and Jim Sahlsberg to explore the experience of learning to drive as a PDAer. Jim shares his lived experience of learning to drive, including the challenges he faced and the persistence required to complete the process. The conversation explores why learning to drive can feel particularly difficult for PDA individuals, with factors such as anxiety, demand sensitivity, unpredictability and pressure playing a significant role. Tom and Jim reflect on how the structure of driving lessons, the expectations placed on learners and the high-stakes nature of tests can all contribute to overwhelm. The discussion highlights how traditional teaching approaches may not always meet the needs of PDA learners, and why flexibility, understanding and reduced pressure can make a meaningful difference. Part 1 focuses on building understanding of the barriers PDAers may face when learning to drive, and the importance of adapting approaches to support confidence, autonomy and regulation. Key Themes Why learning to drive can be challenging for PDAers The role of anxiety, pressure and unpredictability Demand sensitivity within structured learning environments The emotional impact of repeated attempts and setbacks The importance of flexible, understanding instruction Supporting confidence and autonomy during the processDeep Diver Subscriber Episode For those who would like to go further, Part 2, an exclusive “Deep Diver” subscriber episode, is available through our Training Hub. You can access it here: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/ Disclaimer The views and opinions expressed by guest speakers in this podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the PDA Society. While we aim to provide balanced and inclusive discussions, individual experiences and perspectives may vary. The PDA Society is committed to using language and terminology that reflects the preferences of PDA and autistic people, but sometimes our guests may use language and terminology which differs. Appearance on our podcast is not an endorsement of an individual, and not all of our guests will align with our position on the issues discussed. Further sources of support and information PDA Society Training Hub: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/ PDA Society Training: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/training/ PDA Society Support Service: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/support/

    29 min
  2. Parental Blame and PDA

    5D AGO ·  VIDEO

    Parental Blame and PDA

    In this episode, Rachel from the PDA Society is joined by Alice Running, an author and writer focusing on autistic lived experience and neurodivergent parenting, to explore the issue of parental blame in the context of PDA. Alice shares both personal and research-informed insight into how parental blame can arise when children struggle within systems that do not fully understand PDA. The conversation explores how behaviours linked to anxiety, demand sensitivity and distress are often misinterpreted, leading to assumptions about parenting rather than recognition of underlying needs. Rachel and Alice discuss the emotional impact this can have on families, including feelings of shame, isolation and self-doubt. Alice reflects on how blame can become embedded within systems such as education and services, particularly when professionals focus on behaviour rather than context. Part 1 focuses on understanding what parental blame is, why it occurs, and how it can affect both parents and children. The discussion highlights the importance of shifting towards a more compassionate, informed approach that recognises the child’s experience and the parent’s efforts to support them. Key Themes What parental blame is and how it shows up for PDA families Misinterpretation of behaviour linked to anxiety and demand sensitivity The emotional impact of blame on parents and families How systems can reinforce blame through misunderstanding The importance of context, compassion and neuro-affirming approaches Challenging assumptions about parentingDeep Diver Subscriber Episode For those who would like to go further, Part 2, an exclusive “Deep Diver” subscriber episode, is available through our Training Hub.You can access it here: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/ Disclaimer The views and opinions expressed by guest speakers in this podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the PDA Society. While we aim to provide balanced and inclusive discussions, individual experiences and perspectives may vary. The PDA Society is committed to using language and terminology that reflects the preferences of PDA and autistic people, but sometimes our guests may use language and terminology which differs. Appearance on our podcast is not an endorsement of an individual, and not all of our guests will align with our position on the issues discussed. Further sources of support and information PDA Society Training Hub: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/ PDA Society Website: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/ PDA Society Training: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/training/ PDA Society Support Service: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/support/ Guest links: About Alice Running | AliceRunning Parental Blame | AliceRunning We Need to Talk About Autism and Parent-Carer Blame by Alice Running | Waterstones

    34 min
  3. Supporting Self-Care, Learning & Leisure: OT Approaches for PDA Children

    APR 16 ·  VIDEO

    Supporting Self-Care, Learning & Leisure: OT Approaches for PDA Children

    In this episode, Rachel from the PDA Society is joined by Bryher Hill, an occupational therapist from Helping Kids Shine, to explore how occupational therapy can support PDA children and their families. Bryher shares insight into how occupational therapy looks different when working with PDA profiles, focusing less on compliance and more on understanding the underlying needs driving behaviour. The conversation explores how everyday activities such as self-care, routines and transitions can become overwhelming when anxiety and demand sensitivity are high. Part 1 focuses on understanding the role of occupational therapy in supporting regulation, autonomy and participation in daily life. Bryher explains how observing a child’s sensory profile, nervous system responses and communication style can help identify what is making tasks feel difficult. The discussion also highlights the importance of adapting expectations, reducing pressure and working collaboratively with the child, rather than imposing routines that may increase distress. Bryher emphasises that small, thoughtful adjustments can make everyday activities feel more achievable and less threatening. Key Themes The role of occupational therapy in supporting PDA children Understanding behaviour through a sensory and nervous system lens Reducing demands around routines and expectations Supporting autonomy and participation in daily life Working collaboratively rather than directingDeep Diver Subscriber Episode For those who would like to go further, Part 2, an exclusive “Deep Diver” subscriber episode, is available through our Training Hub.You can access it here: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/ Disclaimer The views and opinions expressed by guest speakers in this podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the PDA Society. While we aim to provide balanced and inclusive discussions, individual experiences and perspectives may vary. The PDA Society is committed to using language and terminology that reflects the preferences of PDA and autistic people, but sometimes our guests may use language and terminology which differs. Appearance on our podcast is not an endorsement of an individual, and not all of our guests will align with our position on the issues discussed. Further sources of support and information PDA Society Training Hub: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/ PDA Society Website: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/ PDA Society Support Service: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/support/Guest links: Helping Kids Shine empower children, young people and families through Occupational Therapy and Speech and Language Therapy, supporting families to navigate challenges with improved understanding and confidence.  With a focus on strengths and neurodiversity-affirming practice, we open doors to brighter futures where children can move from surviving to thriving.  Want to learn more?  Find us at the following links: www.helpingkidsshine.co.uk https://www.facebook.com/helpingkidsshineUK/ https://www.instagram.com/helpingkidsshineuk/

    35 min
  4. 'Connection before correction' The use of NVR for PDA families.

    APR 9 ·  VIDEO

    'Connection before correction' The use of NVR for PDA families.

    In this episode, Sarah Stewart from the PDA Society is joined by Tracy Weiner, an NVR (Non-Violent Resistance) practitioner and parent of a PDA young person, to explore how NVR can support families experiencing high levels of distress and conflict. Tracy shares both her professional expertise and personal experience as a parent, speaking about the realities of parenting a PDA child into adolescence and adulthood. The conversation focuses on how NVR can offer an alternative approach when families are facing situations such as parental violence and aggression (PVA), where traditional strategies may no longer feel effective. Part 1 introduces the core principles of NVR, including moving away from control and consequences, and instead focusing on connection, presence and de-escalation. Tracy explains how NVR shifts the focus from trying to “fix” behaviour to strengthening relationships and reducing conflict over time. Sarah and Tracy also explore the emotional impact on parents, including fear, isolation and uncertainty, and how NVR can help rebuild confidence and stability within the family system. The discussion highlights that this approach is not about giving in, but about responding differently to create safer, more sustainable dynamics. Key Themes What NVR (Non-Violent Resistance) is and how it works Moving away from control and consequence-based approaches Strengthening connection and reducing conflict The emotional impact of high-stress family situations Rebuilding parental confidence and stabilityDeep Diver Subscriber Episode For those who would like to go further, Part 2, an exclusive “Deep Diver” subscriber episode, is available through our Training Hub. You can access it here: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/ Disclaimer The views and opinions expressed by guest speakers in this podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the PDA Society. While we aim to provide balanced and inclusive discussions, individual experiences and perspectives may vary. The PDA Society is committed to using language and terminology that reflects the preferences of PDA and autistic people, but sometimes our guests may use language and terminology which differs. Appearance on our podcast is not an endorsement of an individual, and not all of our guests will align with our position on the issues discussed. Further sources of support and information PDA Society Training Hub: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/ PDA Society Website: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/ PDA Society Training: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/training/ PDA Society Support Service: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/support/Guest links: NVR - Haim Omer explains non-violent resistance (40 min) https://www.nvruk.co.uk/

    36 min
  5. Healthcare and PDA: From Avoidance to Access

    APR 2 ·  VIDEO

    Healthcare and PDA: From Avoidance to Access

    In this episode, Rachel from the PDA Society is joined by Julia Daunt, a PDA adult and trainer with the PDA Society, to explore the realities of accessing healthcare for PDAers. Julia shares her lived experience of navigating medical environments, highlighting how appointments, procedures and interactions with professionals can often feel overwhelming, unpredictable and highly demanding. The conversation explores why healthcare settings can trigger anxiety for PDAers, including loss of control, sensory challenges, unfamiliar environments and the expectation to comply quickly with instructions. Rachel and Julia discuss how these experiences can lead to avoidance, delayed care or heightened distress, even when support is urgently needed. Julia reflects on the importance of understanding how demand sensitivity shows up in medical contexts, and why what might appear as resistance is often a response to feeling unsafe or overwhelmed. Part 1 focuses on building understanding, offering insight into what healthcare feels like from a PDA perspective, and why compassionate, flexible approaches are essential for supporting access. Key Themes The challenges PDAers face when accessing healthcare Anxiety, control and unpredictability in medical settings Sensory and environmental factors affecting appointments Why avoidance and resistance can occur Understanding healthcare through a PDA lens The importance of safety, autonomy and trustDeep Diver Subscriber Episode For those who would like to go further, Part 2, an exclusive “Deep Diver” subscriber episode, is available through our Training Hub.You can access it here: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/ Disclaimer The views and opinions expressed by guest speakers in this podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the PDA Society. While we aim to provide balanced and inclusive discussions, individual experiences and perspectives may vary. The PDA Society is committed to using language and terminology that reflects the preferences of PDA and autistic people, but sometimes our guests may use language and terminology which differs. Appearance on our podcast is not an endorsement of an individual, and not all of our guests will align with our position on the issues discussed. Further sources of support and information PDA Society Training Hub: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/ PDA Society Website: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/ PDA Society Training: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/training/ PDA Society Support Service: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/support/

    34 min
  6. When School Doesn't Fit: The RISE Skool Approach

    MAR 26 ·  VIDEO

    When School Doesn't Fit: The RISE Skool Approach

    In this episode, Rachel from the PDA Society is joined by Lyndsey Stokes and Keighly Murphy from Rise Skool, an alternative education provision supporting neurodivergent children and young people who have struggled in mainstream settings. Together, they explore what can happen when education is rebuilt around safety, trust and emotional regulation rather than compliance and rigid expectations. Lyndsey and Keighly share how many of the young people who come to Rise Skool have experienced repeated school trauma, exclusions, anxiety or long-term disengagement. The conversation focuses on creating environments where children feel safe enough to learn. Rather than prioritising academic targets from the outset, Rise Skool centres relationship-building, predictability and co-regulation. Lyndsey and Keighly explain how reducing demands, observing communication patterns and tuning into nervous system responses helps students begin to re-engage. Part 1 explores how traditional education models can inadvertently escalate anxiety for PDA learners, and how alternative settings can shift from control to collaboration. The discussion highlights the importance of dignity, flexibility and truly listening to young people. Key Themes Why PDA learners often struggle in mainstream education The impact of school trauma and repeated exclusions Building safety before focusing on academic outcomes Relationship-led and co-regulation-based approaches Reducing demands to support re-engagement Reframing success in educationDeep Diver Subscriber Episode For those who would like to go further, Part 2, an exclusive “Deep Diver” subscriber episode, is available through our Training Hub. You can access it here: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/ Disclaimer The views and opinions expressed by guest speakers in this podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the PDA Society. While we aim to provide balanced and inclusive discussions, individual experiences and perspectives may vary. The PDA Society is committed to using language and terminology that reflects the preferences of PDA and autistic people, but sometimes our guests may use language and terminology which differs. Appearance on our podcast is not an endorsement of an individual, and not all of our guests will align with our position on the issues discussed. Further sources of support and information PDA Society Training Hub: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/ PDA Society Website: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/ PDA Society Training: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/training/ PDA Society Support Service: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/support/

    38 min
  7. Declarative Language with Linda K. Murphy

    MAR 19 ·  VIDEO

    Declarative Language with Linda K. Murphy

    In this episode, Gemini from the PDA Society is joined by Linda Murphy, author of The Declarative Language Handbook and The Co-Regulation Handbook, to explore how declarative language can support PDA children and young people. Linda explains the difference between declarative and imperative language, and why shifting from telling and directing to wondering and noticing can reduce anxiety and defensiveness. The conversation explores how questions, commands and corrections can inadvertently increase demand sensitivity, particularly for children with a PDA profile. Gemini and Linda discuss how declarative language creates space for autonomy, supports problem-solving, and strengthens connection. Rather than giving instructions, declarative statements share observations, feelings or information, allowing the child to process and respond without feeling controlled. Part 1 focuses on understanding the principles behind declarative language, how it supports co-regulation, and why small shifts in communication can have a powerful impact in both home and school settings. Key Themes The difference between declarative and imperative language How direct instructions can increase anxiety for PDA children Supporting autonomy and problem-solving through communication The link between declarative language and co-regulation Reducing demand while maintaining connection Using language to create safety rather than complianceDeep Diver Subscriber Episode For those who would like to go further, Part 2, an exclusive “Deep Diver” subscriber episode, is available through our Training Hub.You can access it here: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/ Disclaimer The views and opinions expressed by guest speakers in this podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the PDA Society. While we aim to provide balanced and inclusive discussions, individual experiences and perspectives may vary. The PDA Society is committed to using language and terminology that reflects the preferences of PDA and autistic people, but sometimes our guests may use language and terminology which differs. Appearance on our podcast is not an endorsement of an individual, and not all of our guests will align with our position on the issues discussed. Further sources of support and information PDA Society Training Hub: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/ PDA Society Website: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/ PDA Society Training: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/training/ PDA Society Support Service: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/support/Guest links: Linda’s website: https://www.declarativelanguage.com/

    35 min
  8. Parenting as a PDAer

    MAR 17 ·  VIDEO

    Parenting as a PDAer

    In this episode, Rachel from the PDA Society is joined by Riko Ryuki to explore what it is like parenting as a PDAer. Riko shares openly about raising three children, two of whom have PDA profiles, while navigating their own PDA and additional disabilities. Together, Rachel and Riko discuss how parenting can look and feel different when you also experience high demand sensitivity yourself. The conversation explores the realities of everyday family life, including adapting routines to meet individual needs, responding flexibly rather than rigidly, and understanding that even children with the same profile can require very different approaches. Riko reflects on being more child-led, matching expectations to capacity, and resisting more traditional “because I said so” parenting models. Part 1 focuses on lived experience, connection and reframing. Riko speaks about the strengths that can come from shared understanding, the moments of joy and closeness that can emerge when anxiety is managed well, and some of the misconceptions they have encountered from others about parenting differently. Key Themes Parenting with a PDA profile Being child-led and adapting to fluctuating needs Raising multiple neurodivergent children with different support requirements Misconceptions about flexible parenting approaches The strengths and connection that can come from shared neurodivergenceDeep Diver Subscriber Episode For those who would like to go further, Part 2, an exclusive “Deep Diver” subscriber episode, is available through our Training Hub. You can access it here: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/ Disclaimer The views and opinions expressed by guest speakers in this podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the PDA Society. While we aim to provide balanced and inclusive discussions, individual experiences and perspectives may vary. The PDA Society is committed to using language and terminology that reflects the preferences of PDA and autistic people, but sometimes our guests may use language and terminology which differs. Appearance on our podcast is not an endorsement of an individual, and not all of our guests will align with our position on the issues discussed. Further sources of support and information PDA Society Training Hub: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/ PDA Society Website: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/ PDA Society Training: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/training/ PDA Society Support Service: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/support/Guest’s links: YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/rikoryuki Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RikosPDApage1/ Blog: https://dragonriko.wordpress.com/

    27 min
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About

Welcome to the PDA Society’s podcast, where we explore all things PDA to help make life easier for PDAers, their families, and everyone affected by demand avoidance. Research suggests PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) is a profile of autism, meaning individuals share similar strengths and challenges. A key feature of PDA is extreme demand avoidance – finding it hard or impossible to complete everyday tasks, even those they want to do. PDAers often use social strategies to manage demands, form deep connections with safe people, and experience strong emotions. Join us as we dive into PDA together! If any of the issues in today’s podcast affected you or you’d like to learn more, please visit our website for help and information on: www.pdasociety.org.uk

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