Reflective Parenting by Curious Neuron

Cindy Hovington, Ph.D.
  • 4.9 (148)
  • PARENTING
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Parents don’t snap for one reason — they snap because stress builds faster than awareness. The Reflective Parenting Podcast, hosted by neuroscientist and mom of three Dr. Cindy Hovington, helps parents understand what’s happening inside them before they snap and why recognizing it sooner is the key to change. Through personal reflections and conversations with clinicians and experts, the podcast explores why parenting feels so intense, why insight often disappears under stress, and what it means to become a reflective parent. A reflective parent isn’t perfect or calm all the time. They notice sooner, recover faster, and slowly build more trust in how they show up — even on hard days. This podcast is your invitation to pause, reflect, and feel less alone. New episodes weekly. Join the private group on Facebook: www.facebook.com/groups/reflectiveparentingpodcast/ Watch our FREE training for parents to understand why you snap! https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2 Purchase our course to Become a Reflective Parent! https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/ Follow us on Instagram @curious_neuron or Facebook @curiousneuron

  1. DEC 16

    You, Your Husband, and His Mother: Untangling a Tricky Family Dynamic with Dr. Tracy Dalgleish

    Send us a text Family dynamics can feel especially intense around the holidays and one of the most challenging patterns many parents face is the triangle between you, your partner, and your mother-in-law. In today’s episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish returns to the podcast to help us make sense of this dynamic with compassion, clarity, and evidence-based tools. In this conversation, I sit down with Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, psychologist and author of You, Your Husband & His Mother, to unpack why the mother-in-law / daughter-in-law dynamic is so emotionally charged and how it quietly strains couples. We talk about boundaries, guilt, generational differences, cultural expectations, and what couples can do to stop feeling divided and start acting as a solid team. In this episode, we cover: Why this family dynamic is uniquely triggeringHow boundaries get misunderstood and what actually worksWhat to do when your partner shuts down or minimizes the issueHow to recover after a difficult family gatheringWhy connection comes before problem-solvingJoin me for a free Webinar on December 17th at 8pm (and get the replay!): https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/ce962dd904 You can purchase Tracy's book, You, Your Husband and Your Mother in Law, in the US or in Canada. You can also get her first book (which I also highly recommend called "I didn't Sign up for This" in the US or Canada.  Listen to my previous conversation with Tracy below: https://podcast Support the show Learn more with Curious Neuron: Snapping at your kid? Get this FREE training to learn how to catch your nervous system in overdrive BEFORE you snap! https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2 Read to become a Reflective Parent? Purchase our course below: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/ Email: info@curiousneuron.com

    51 min

  2. DEC 8

    Your Triggers Aren’t a Parenting Failure — They’re a Signal

    Send us a text If you’ve ever ended a night thinking, “Why did I snap again?” — this episode is for you. Today, we’re diving into what’s really happening in your brain and body when your child pushes your buttons. Because those intense reactions? They aren’t proof that you’re a bad parent. They’re signals from a nervous system in overdrive — and once you can recognize those signals, you can change the way you respond. We’ll talk about: Why your child’s emotions can feel like a threat to your brainThe science behind emotional flooding (in both you and your child)How stress, exhaustion, and self-expectations reduce your window of toleranceWhat “repair” looks like — and why it matters more than getting it perfectYou’ll walk away with practical reflection questions and simple shifts that help you move from snapping to connecting — even on the hard days. Join next week's FREE webinar (or get the replay): https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/ce962dd904 Read the full article:  https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24392687/ Share your thoughts and questions with me: https://form.typeform.com/to/Dadaa8ns Read a blog post about this: https://curiousneuron.com/2025/12/03/why-you-still-snap-even-when-youve-done-the-work/ Support the show Learn more with Curious Neuron: Snapping at your kid? Get this FREE training to learn how to catch your nervous system in overdrive BEFORE you snap! https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2 Read to become a Reflective Parent? Purchase our course below: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/ Email: info@curiousneuron.com

    27 min

  3. DEC 1

    The reason you snap at your kids (and what you can try instead)

    Send us a text Hi Reflective Parents! This week, we are talking about something I keep hearing from parents which is snapping at our kids even when we are working on ourselves by learning about parenting or even going to therapy.  You are not failing your child. You are still learning many skills that lead to you becoming more aware of your own state before you snap. In this episode, I walk you through 3 steps that might help you catch yourself the next time you snap (notice I didn't say BEFORE you snap....that isn't always realistic).  I would love to find a way to communicate better with all of you. Share your story that is related to this episode in the link below OR ask a question to help me create a future podcast episode.  https://form.typeform.com/to/Dadaa8ns Support the show Learn more with Curious Neuron: Snapping at your kid? Get this FREE training to learn how to catch your nervous system in overdrive BEFORE you snap! https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2 Read to become a Reflective Parent? Purchase our course below: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/ Email: info@curiousneuron.com

    23 min

  4. NOV 25

    Why parenting advice won't help you stop snapping at your kids

    Send us a text If you keep snapping, shutting down, or feeling guilty, even though you “know” what to do... this episode will finally make it make sense. After speaking with more than 200 parents, I’ve noticed the same pattern: We are drowning in parenting advice, but no one is teaching parents the one skill that actually changes everything, how your nervous system works. In this episode, I talk about: Why you still lose patience even after therapy, courses, and all the scriptsWhat’s really happening in your body during those moments you “flip”Why you’re not a bad parent — you’re simply depletedHow viewing your child through a leadership lens instantly changes your reactionsThe real first step to building a calmer, more connected homeYou don’t need more advice. You need emotional bandwidth — and today, we talk about how to build it. New! Becoming a Reflective Parent course is now available!!! Learn the 10 skills that help you rewire patterns, regulate emotions, and understand your nervous system. Get it today! https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/ Support the show Learn more with Curious Neuron: Snapping at your kid? Get this FREE training to learn how to catch your nervous system in overdrive BEFORE you snap! https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2 Read to become a Reflective Parent? Purchase our course below: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/ Email: info@curiousneuron.com

    25 min

  5. NOV 17

    What all dads need to hear about emotions and their son's future mental health

    Send us a text Today on the Reflective Parenting Podcast, I’m sitting down with Dr. Brendan Kwiatkowski-Hartman to talk about something many parents quietly wonder about: Why do boys sometimes pull away emotionally and how can we support them without pushing too hard? Brendan is a researcher who has spent years studying boys, masculinity, and emotional expression. What he learned in his PhD work is both reassuring and eye-opening: boys do feel deeply, even when it looks like they’ve shut down. And the reasons they hold back are often more complex and tender than we realize. This is a grounded, thoughtful conversation, especially meaningful for dads who want to connect more with their sons but aren’t always sure where to start. In this episode, we cover: The two stages when boys start hiding emotionsWhy boys say “I’m fine” even when they’re strugglingHow to become an emotional safe space for your sonWhat makes it hard for dads to be vulnerableGentle ways to start emotional conversations with boysThe RULER model for building emotional intelligenceHow to support boys who feel anxious or withdrawnWhy parents’ own emotional work mattersPractical scripts and small daily moments that build trust Read our blog post about this topic: https://curiousneuron.com/2025/11/15/boys-emotional-needs-study/ Learn more from Brendan below: @re.masculine https://remasculine.com https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36176325/ https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9513388/ Support the show Learn more with Curious Neuron: Snapping at your kid? Get this FREE training to learn how to catch your nervous system in overdrive BEFORE you snap! https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2 Read to become a Reflective Parent? Purchase our course below: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/ Email: info@curiousneuron.com

    49 min

  6. NOV 10

    Are you having unhealthy conflict? Here's what science says.

    Send us a text This episode will change how you see conflict. We’re talking about the proven communication patterns that destroy connection and how to replace them with healthier ones. You’ll learn: the Four Horsemen (with real examples)how the demand–withdraw cycle keeps couples stuckthe shocking research: negative conflict literally slows wound healinghow your nervous system shapes your reactions (before your thoughts do)3 simple questions from Jefferson Fisher that can change the next conversationThis is not about fixing the last fight. This is about changing the next one. If you shut down, explode, or get stuck repeating the same arguments this episode is for you. Read our full blog post about this topic (it has all the research I mentioned in this episode): https://curiousneuron.com/2025/11/09/the-science-of-healthy-conflict-patterns-in-couples/ Get the book The Next Conversation here Don't miss this podcast episode to help you out with conflict: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/reflective-parenting-by-curious-neuron/id1440533170?i=1000735018841 Support the show Learn more with Curious Neuron: Snapping at your kid? Get this FREE training to learn how to catch your nervous system in overdrive BEFORE you snap! https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2 Read to become a Reflective Parent? Purchase our course below: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/ Email: info@curiousneuron.com

    25 min

  7. NOV 3

    Understanding your nervous system in conflict with the authors of Beyond Difficult

    Send us a text If you’ve ever wondered why you become a different version of yourself during conflict… this episode is going to change the way you see those moments forever. I’m sitting down with psychologists and authors Rachel Samson and Dr. Jessie Stern to unpack the science beneath conflict: your attachment history, your temperament, your nervous system sensitivity, and how all of this shapes the way you argue, withdraw, pursue, or shut down. This episode is not about “how to argue better.” It’s about understanding why you show up the way you do in the first place. You’ll learn why some of us chase repair desperately… why others shut down to survive the moment… and why conflict can feel like it happens faster than your ability to think. We also talk about emotional flooding and the moment when your nervous system takes over the conversation before your communication skills even get a chance. And if you are a parent, you will hear how this shows up not only with your partner but also with your child and what you can do starting today to interrupt the cycle. You will walk away from this episode with clarity, hope, and self compassion because conflict is not just about skills. It is about state. Get their new book on Amazon here. Follow Rachel on Instagram Follow Dr. Jessie on Instagram Read our new blog post: The Science Behind How you Show up in Arguments here Support the show Learn more with Curious Neuron: Snapping at your kid? Get this FREE training to learn how to catch your nervous system in overdrive BEFORE you snap! https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2 Read to become a Reflective Parent? Purchase our course below: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/ Email: info@curiousneuron.com

    36 min

  8. OCT 27

    Relational Savoring: The Neuroscience of Calm and Connection

    Send us a text Ever wonder why some moments with your child feel effortless and deeply connected — while others leave you drained, reactive, or misunderstood? In this episode, we break down the science behind why. Dr. Jessie Stern and psychologist Rachel Samson join Cindy to explore relational savoring — a simple yet powerful way to strengthen your bond by intentionally remembering moments of warmth, safety, and love. You’ll learn how this practice calms your nervous system, reduces stress, and builds emotional security — for both you and your child. They also unpack the role of temperament and sensitivity in relationships. Why do some people (and kids) feel everything more deeply? What does that mean for how we connect, comfort, and communicate? If you’ve ever said, “I wish I could stay calm when things get hard,” this conversation will give you the science and the self-awareness to start doing exactly that. Because connection isn’t about perfection — it’s about noticing, savoring, and showing up with compassion. Read their new book: Beyond Difficult: An attachment-based guide to dealing with challenging people Follow Rachel Samson Follow Dr. Jessie Stern Read the science article: Savoring interventions for mothers of young children: Mechanisms linking relational savoring and personal savoring to reflective functioning Listen to more podcast episodes: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/reflective-parenting-by-curious-neuron/id1440533170?i=1000731541535 https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/reflective-parenting-by-curious-neuron/id1440533170?i=1000681386669 Read our blog post: https://curiousneuron.com/2025/10/23/blog-relational-savoring-building-emotional-connection-with-your-child/ Support the show Learn more with Curious Neuron: Snapping at your kid? Get this FREE training to learn how to catch your nervous system in overdrive BEFORE you snap! https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2 Read to become a Reflective Parent? Purchase our course below: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/ Email: info@curiousneuron.com

    29 min
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4.9
out of 5
148 Ratings

About

Parents don’t snap for one reason — they snap because stress builds faster than awareness. The Reflective Parenting Podcast, hosted by neuroscientist and mom of three Dr. Cindy Hovington, helps parents understand what’s happening inside them before they snap and why recognizing it sooner is the key to change. Through personal reflections and conversations with clinicians and experts, the podcast explores why parenting feels so intense, why insight often disappears under stress, and what it means to become a reflective parent. A reflective parent isn’t perfect or calm all the time. They notice sooner, recover faster, and slowly build more trust in how they show up — even on hard days. This podcast is your invitation to pause, reflect, and feel less alone. New episodes weekly. Join the private group on Facebook: www.facebook.com/groups/reflectiveparentingpodcast/ Watch our FREE training for parents to understand why you snap! https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2 Purchase our course to Become a Reflective Parent! https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/ Follow us on Instagram @curious_neuron or Facebook @curiousneuron

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