养自己啊

营养师至卉Molly

养自己啊？问题不大！ 两位生活在地球两端的30+女性，用物质和精神食粮重新把自己养育一遍的生活方式实验。 自己当自己的父母，按自己的喜好和节奏，慢慢活成想要的样子。照顾好身体，安放好情绪，经营好关系，慢慢长成自己——陪你在养育自己的路上走得温暖一点。 每两周更新，欢迎常来坐坐。 Nurturing Yourself? No Big Deal! Two women in their thirties living on opposite ends of the earth, experimenting with ways to re-nurture themselves through nourishment for both body and soul. New episodes every fortnight. Drop by whenever you like.

  1. 8月25日

    24.我们把AI当实习小工，用元工具搓出理想生活的形状

    至卉的耳机只要10块钱，是什么驱动她破天荒地开始为AI付费？你是不是有时候也被五花八门的AI迷了眼，想要使用它，却觉得学习门槛有点高？真用了它，又怕它胡言乱语，被它带着跑偏？ 其实AI是一个元工具，如果我们能理清自己的需求、梳理清楚任务分解，就可以挑选合适的部分让AI完成，高效又省力。这一期我们聊和AI之间的一些小故事，看看我们怎样用AI来让自己的工作和生活稍微轻松一些，也听听AI是怎么“参与”进至卉和妈妈之间的关系的。 曾经，“适我化”的私人定制工具要么代价太高不可行，要么普通人不知道怎样实现，AI的出现让“专属小工”成为可能。 工作上，我们都曾是客户需求和技术的桥梁，分析客户需求、组织技术与管理方案的经验，让我们在养自己的时候会有从需求出发到技术落地的思维方式；我们也都负责过完整项目，对于任务管理和安排有着自己的要求和执念。这些都影响着我们使用AI的方式。 生活上，海外生活的信息差、文化上的孤独与气候环境的不适应，都是翠翠留学生涯里的难关，而AI的有效使用开始让这些问题有了解题新思路；至卉也用AI打开了社交和爱好的新世界。破圈、跨界、懂得很多、话术一堆，但经常呓语的AI，我们和它们的关系，随着使用度的提升，也变得有些微妙。 工具不是越多越好，工作台也不是越复杂越好用。不要被炫技的AI教程吓到，也不用被越来越卷的环境影响。明确自己的需求，找到合适的工具，把AI当一个实习小工，做自己人生的项目负责人，慢慢搓出自己理想生活的形状。 本期主播至卉：生活在中国，注册营养师兼创业公司产品经理，职业上靠研究食物谋生，生活中靠用嘴表达解压，持续探索生活与自我的可能性。ENFJ 射手，激情高昂，内心柔软。 翠翠：生活在英国，工科博士在读，生活方式试验爱好者，从南京初创公司到北京大厂再到英格兰校园，像河一样流出自己的人生路径。INFJ 白羊，平淡内敛，一身反骨。 时间轴一、从工具狂魔到 AI 军师01:12 二十多岁的我，是个什么都想学的工具狂魔 02:20 现在，AI 先帮我筛一遍：什么才是我真正需要的 03:02 耳机只要 10 块钱的人，居然每个月都为 AI 付费 04:23 试用的当天，AI 做完了我要做一周的调研报告 05:06 搓出日程管理软件，迭代了 18 个版本 二、有了AI之后，我们过上了完全不同的生活 08:55 小 C 和小 W：我们的 AI 小工，都有自己的名字 11:03 一个足够好的工具，门槛没有想象中那么高 14:30 AI 帮我找到了以为不存在的英国Jazz Bar 16:57 AI破解花粉过敏的真相 19:35 用AI探索我们的明确需求：背景、需求、目的 三、AI 的两面：边界与内卷时代21:04 破防：我妈听豆包的，不听我这个营养师女儿的 24:43 AI很像空心人：太懂人情世故，又不懂人情世故 26:58 适当地使用AI，有时也有疗愈作用 28:10 不让AI胡编乱造，让它处理重复和冗杂的文本信息 29:46 破解完美主义的启动困难症——先让AI来个初稿 32:01 AI小工的定位是实习生，项目负责人是你 35:27 实际得我们自己完成，AI也有巨大的能力局限 40:28 方向比卷重要，用AI节省的时间我们要用来做什么？ 47:44 适我化：AI 是完完全全按你需求定制的小工 提到的概念小 C / 小 W：两位主播给 AI 助手起的名字。翠翠用的 Claude 叫「小 C」——翠翠的名字首字母是大C；至卉用的 Workbuddy叫「小 W」——她的英文名 Molly 以 M 开头，W 是 M 的镜像。 印象笔记 / Notion / Obsidian：三代笔记软件。 脑炸：由于AI 过度且不准确的反馈，人类大脑要处理的信息反而越来越多，大脑感受到信息过载。 适我化：完完全全按自己的需求定制工具，AI 是第一个能做到的。 相关书籍 / 资源《Hyperfocus》（克里斯·贝利）：关于两种专注模式——聚焦与发散。 本期提到的工具：印象笔记、Notion、Obsidian、剪映、Claude、豆包、魔搭社区。 往期相关单集EP10. 买口红X买课：两种消费观的碰撞 置顶图片扫码，解锁更多【养自己啊】深度内容 💬 粉丝群 ｜ 节目更新，聊天交流，分享你的「养自己」瞬间 📖 公众号 ｜ 未讲完的故事，主播专栏，文字版陪伴 Treating AI as Our Little Assistant, Crafting the Shape of Our Ideal Life Have you ever felt lost among the countless AI tools — wanting to use them, yet worried the learning curve is too steep, and once you do, afraid of over-relying on them and being led astray. AI is actually a source tool. In this episode, we start from how we use tools. Cuicui is the tech-savvy one — she understands code and learns every tool she wants. Zhihui is the pragmatist — a total code novice, yet she used AI to craft tools that fit her. Cuicui says life before and after AI are two different lives. AI found her a Jazz Bar she thought didn't exist, and uncovered the real culprit behind her allergy. Zhihui's earphones cost only ¥10, yet she pays for AI every month without hesitation. Without knowing code, she crafted a custom scheduling app — after 18 iterations, far better than the Evernote she had used for ten years. More tools don't mean better living, and AI isn't better because it's fancier. We don't need AI to show off, and we shouldn't be swept up by an ever-more-competitive world. As long as we clarify our needs, find the right tool, treat AI as a little assistant, and be our own project lead, we can craft the shape of our ideal life. HostsZhihui: living in China, a registered dietitian and startup product manager; she earns a living studying food by profession, and relieves stress by "talking with her mouth" in life, always exploring the possibilities of life and self. ENFJ Sagittarius, passionate, soft-hearted. Cuicui: living in the UK, an engineering PhD candidate and lifestyle experimenter; from a Nanjing startup to a Beijing tech giant, then to an English campus, she flows her life path like a river. INFJ Aries, calm and reserved, quietly rebellious. TimelineChapter 1 ｜ From Tool Maniac to AI Strategist01:12 In my twenties, I was a tool maniac who wanted to learn everything 02:20 Now AI filters for me first — what do I truly need 03:02 The person with ¥10 earphones pays for AI every single month 04:23 On the first day of trial, AI finished a week's worth of research 05:06 Crafting a scheduling app through 18 iterations Chapter 2 ｜ With AI, We're Living a Completely Different Life 08:55 Little C and Little W — our AI assistants have their own names 11:03 A good enough tool isn't as hard as you think 14:30 AI found me a UK Jazz Bar I thought didn't exist 16:57 AI cracked the truth behind my pollen allergy 19:35 Using AI to clarify our needs: context, need, goal Chapter 3 ｜ Two Sides of AI: Boundaries in a Grinding Era 21:04 Devastated: my mom trusts Doubao, not her nutritionist daughter 24:43 AI is like a hollow man: too worldly, yet not worldly enough 26:58 Used properly, AI can also be healing 28:10 Don't let AI make things up — let it handle repetitive, messy text 29:46 Beating perfectionist procrastination — let AI draft first 32:01 AI is an intern; the project lead is you 35:27 Some things we must do ourselves — AI has huge limits 40:28 Direction beats grinding: what do we do with the time AI saves? 47:44 "Me-fitted" tools: AI crafted entirely around your needs Concepts Little C / Little W: the names the two hosts gave their AI assistants. Cuicui uses Claude, nicknamed "Little C" — her name starts with a capital C. Zhihui uses Workbuddy, nicknamed "Little W" — her English name Molly starts with M, and W is the mirror of M. Evernote / Notion / Obsidian: three generations of note-taking apps. Brain overload: with AI's excessive and sometimes inaccurate feedback, the human brain ends up processing more and more information and feels overloaded. "Me-fitted" tools: tools customized entirely to your own needs — AI is the first that can do this. ResourcesHyperfocus (Chris Bailey): about two modes of attention — focus and diffuse. Tools mentioned: Evernote, Notion, Obsidian, Jianying, Claude, Doubao, ModelScope. Related EpisodesEP10. Buy Lipstick × Buy Courses: A Collision of Two Consumption Views Follow UsScan the pinned QR code to unlock more deep content from Yang Zi Ji A (养自己啊) 💬 Fan group ｜ episode updates, chats, and sharing your "raising yourself" moments 📖 Official account ｜ untold stories, host columns, and companionship in text 在小宇宙查看该单集文稿

  2. 8月11日

    23.内驱力｜如果不是鲜花掌声，是什么推着我们持续跑向远方？

    内驱力到底从哪里来？为什么有的人总是干劲十足，好像有个身体里有个永远加满油的马达？不一定是追求世俗的金钱名望，那到底是什么趋势我们不停地跑向远方？ 这期我们邀请到嘉宾苏珊（Susan），一个温柔佛系、却年年站上演讲最高舞台、还自己创办了青少年演讲俱乐部的女性。我们聊了内驱力到底从哪来，胜负欲是不是坏事，以及为什么"自己看见自己"比外界评价重要得多。 内驱力不靠鸡汤，它来自你能自主决定、能胜任、有意义，也能在同频的人里找到归属感的事情。可能你是天生有探索欲的“自燃型”人，也可能是需要外力推一推的"可燃型"。 如果你还没找到自己的内驱力，那么不妨从生活中最小的改变开始，一旦点燃，那将是新的世界。 本期主播： 至卉：生活在中国，注册营养师兼创业公司产品经理，职业上靠研究食物谋生，生活中靠"用嘴表达"解压，持续探索生活与自我的可能性。ENFJ射手，激情高昂，内心柔软。 本期嘉宾： 苏珊：外企职场骨干，家庭幸福美满，痴迷演讲年年比赛拿奖，业余时间创办了一家面向青少年的公众表达俱乐部，用"为爱发电"的方式，陪孩子每周锻炼"表达的肌肉"。温柔且坚定，闷声干大事。 时间轴 一、温柔且坚定：一个"自燃型"女人为何不停折腾自己00:05 温柔佛系的她，为什么不停"折腾"自己 02:14 没有胜负欲的人，为何年年站上演讲最高舞台 08:43 不是想追求冠军，而是在比赛中看见自己的多面性，传递价值 14:07 我明明有一箱子的闪光球，却还是会低估我自己 17:17 已经有了完美生活，还要办一家不赚钱的俱乐部 19:15 表达像肌肉，每个人都有，只是需要一个"健身房" 二、内驱力的燃料：意义感、胜任感，归属感，自主感22:12 胜任感是底气：每周都要办活动，先相信自己"搞得定" 23:40 意义感是动力：当被人需要，这件事就值得持续去做 26:42 归属感是燃料：独行快，众行远，没能量时重新被点燃 30:19 自主感是加持：自己决定要去做什么，不赚钱也有动力 30:42 自燃型、可燃型、阻燃型的人，你是哪种？ 32:05 给可燃型的人：机会来临时，先说一句"Yes" 三、找到你自己的节奏：先做了再说35:51 不要预设结果：走出家门晃一晃，就有新体验 37:27 找到自己的节奏，不是每个人都要当拼命三郎 39:16 持续正反馈非常重要，首先得自己看见自己 45:39 胜负欲不是坏事，它其实说明你很清楚自己要什么 52:38 总结：先做了再说，自己看见自己，拥有源源不断的内驱力 提到的几个概念 自燃型 / 可燃型 / 阻燃型人格：自燃型是自己就能点燃自己的人；可燃型需要别人推一把、给点能量才能燃起来；阻燃型不仅自己不燃，还会把想燃的人也浇灭。 冒名顶替综合症（Imposter Syndrome）：已经足够优秀、外界也认可，但内心却觉得自己是冒名顶替者，不相信自己配得上那些成就。本质是一种低估自己。 闪光球与宝箱比喻：每拿到一个成绩就像得到一个闪光球，放进宝箱、盖上盖子，又回到平凡生活——很多人只忙着找新球，却很少打开箱子看看自己已经拥有多少。 表达肌肉：公众表达和领导力就像肌肉，天生就有但需要锻炼；青少年缺少练习的平台，所以办俱乐部让他们像去健身房一样，每周锻炼"表达的肌肉"。 内驱力的四个来源：自主感（自己决定想做什么）、意义感（事情对自己有意义）、胜任感（相信自己搞得定）、归属感（在同频的人里找到归属）。 相关书籍 《干法》——稻盛和夫：日本企业家稻盛和夫总结70余年工作经验，阐述劳动观与工作哲学的经典著作，核心理念是“工作即修行”，强调全身心投入工作以实现人格完善与价值提升。其中阐述了“自然型”、“可燃型”人格。 往期相关单集 EP22 疲惫生活里的充能时刻，从星辰大海到小猫对视 EP7 在非盈利组织撞见自己，职场之外的成长秘境 置顶图片扫码，解锁更多【养自己啊】深度内容 💬 粉丝群 | 节目更新，聊天交流，分享你的"养自己"瞬间 📖 公众号 | 未讲完的故事，主播专栏，文字版陪伴 Internal Drive | Without Flowers and Applause, What Keeps Pushing Us to Keep Running Toward the Horizon? Where does internal drive come from? Why are some people always full of energy, as if there's a motor inside them that's permanently running on a full tank? It's not necessarily the pursuit of worldly wealth and fame — so what exactly is it that keeps driving us to keep running toward the horizon? In this episode we welcome our guest Susan — a gentle, easy-going woman who nonetheless steps onto the highest public-speaking stages every single year, and who founded her own youth public-speaking club. We talked about where internal drive really comes from, whether the desire to win is a bad thing, and why "seeing yourself" matters far more than outside validation. Internal drive isn't about chicken-soup-for-the-soul platitudes. It comes from things you can choose on your own, that you're competent at, that carry meaning, and where you find belonging among like-minded people. You might be a born explorer with a "self-igniting" personality, or you might be a "flammable" type who just needs an external push. If you haven't found your internal drive yet, then start with the smallest change in your life — once it's lit, a whole new world opens up. Hosts: Zhihui: Lives in China, registered dietitian and product manager at a startup. Makes a living studying food, decompresses by "talking things out," and continuously explores the possibilities of life and self. ENFJ Sagittarius — high-spirited, soft-hearted. Guest: Susan: A backbone professional at a foreign company, with a happy and fulfilling family life. Obsessed with public speaking, she competes and wins awards every year. In her spare time she founded a public-expression club for teenagers, accompanying the kids to exercise their "expression muscles" every week — powered purely by love, not profit. Gentle yet firm; quietly gets big things done. TimelineI. Gentle Yet Firm: Why a "Self-Igniting" Woman Keeps Pushing Herself00:05 The gentle, easy-going her — why does she keep "stirring things up"? 02:14 Someone with no desire to win — why does she stand on the highest speaking stages year after year? 08:43 Not chasing the championship, but seeing her many facets and passing on value through competition 14:07 I clearly have a chest full of shining balls, yet I still underestimate myself 17:17 Already living a perfect life — yet still starting a club that makes no money 19:15 Expression is like a muscle — everyone has one, they just need a "gym" II. The Fuel of Internal Drive: Sense of Meaning, Competence, Belonging22:12 Competence is the foundation: running events every week — first believe you've "got this" 23:40 Sense of meaning is the drive: when you're needed, the thing is worth doing again and again 26:42 Belonging is the fuel: you go fast alone, far together — re-ignited when your energy runs low 30:19 Autonomy is the boost: deciding for yourself what to do — motivated even without pay 30:42 Self-igniting, flammable, fire-retardant — which type are you? 32:05 For the flammable type: when opportunity comes, just say "Yes" first III. Find Your Own Rhythm: Just Do It First35:51 Don't preset the outcome: step out the door and wander a bit, and new experiences show up 37:27 Find your own rhythm — not everyone needs to be a workaholic 39:16 Steady positive feedback matters a lot — first, you have to see yourself 45:39 The desire to win isn't a bad thing — it actually shows you clearly know what you want 52:38 Wrap-up: just do it first, see yourself, and possess an endless wellspring of internal drive Key ConceptsSelf-igniting / Flammable / Fire-retardant Personality: The self-igniting type can light themselves up on their own; the flammable type needs someone to give them a push and a bit of energy before they'll burn; the fire-retardant type not only won't burn themselves, but also douses those who want to. Imposter Syndrome: Already excellent and recognized by the outside world, yet inwardly feeling like an impostor who doesn't believe they deserve those achievements. Essentially a form of underestimating oneself. The Shining-ball and Treasure-chest Metaphor: Every achievement you earn is like gaining a shining ball — you drop it into the chest, close the lid, and return to ordinary life. Many people stay busy hunting for new balls but rarely open the chest to see how much they already have. Expression Muscles: Public expression and leadership are like muscles — everyone is born with them, but they need exercise. Teenagers lack a platform to practice, so the club lets them go to the "gym" and work their "expression muscles" every week. The Four Sources of Internal Drive: Autonomy (deciding for yourself what to do), Sense of Meaning (the thing matters to you), Competence (believing you've got this), Belonging (finding your place among like-minded people). Related BooksHōkō (《干法》 / "A Passion for Work") — Kazuo Inamori: A classic by Japanese entrepreneur Kazuo Inamori, summarizing over 70 years of work experience and expounding his philosophy of labor and work. Its core idea is "work as spiritual practice," emphasizing devotion to work as the path to character refinement and value. It describes the "self-igniting" and "flammable" personality types. Related EpisodesEP22 Recharging moments in an exhausting life — from starry seas to a cat's gaze EP7 Meeti

  3. 7月28日

    22.疲惫生活里的充能时刻：从星辰大海到小猫的对视

    每天被生活琐事填满，靠刷手机换来暂时性的快乐，却总觉得生活里少了什么——那种完全沉浸、被震撼到后脑勺发麻的时刻。我们把这叫做"巅峰时刻"。 不聊怎么消灭疲惫，而是聊怎么在疲惫里找到给你充电的高光瞬间。从大海、星空、沙漠夕阳，到NBA现场的集体欢腾；从画展上的天灵盖被冲开，到50层俯瞰19层办公室的视角转换；再到两本帮你复现巅峰体验的书——《当下的力量》和《敬畏之心》。 最终想和你说：巅峰时刻不是遥不可及的奢侈品，它就藏在你的"附近"——晚霞、蝉鸣、一只对视的猫、甚至摘下眼镜后看到的奶黄色光斑里。 关键是，你愿不愿意关掉脑子里嗡嗡作响的默认网络，真真切切地活在当下。 本期主播： 至卉：生活在中国，注册营养师兼创业公司产品经理，职业上靠研究食物谋生，生活中靠"用嘴表达"解压，持续探索生活与自我的可能性。ENFJ射手，激情高昂，内心柔软。 翠翠：生活在英国，工科博士在读，生活方式试验爱好者，从南京初创公司到北京大厂再到英格兰校园，像河一样流出自己的人生路径。INFJ白羊，平淡内敛，一身反骨。 时间轴 一、那些让我们后脑勺发麻的巅峰时刻00:05 疲惫生活里，什么是"巅峰时刻" 02:02 大海、尼斯湖、华山星空：自然带来的震撼与"活着的感觉" 05:50 美国沙漠夕阳：疲惫中突然被击中的辽阔感 08:04 NBA现场与世界杯酒吧：集体欢腾的能量与归属感 13:21 微醺逛艺术展：被画冲击到的"天灵盖被冲开" 二、换个视角和心态，两本书教你复现巅峰16:20 从50层俯瞰19层的办公室：烦恼变小了 19:41 墨水稀释比喻：扩大生活，痛苦就会被稀释 24:14 《当下的力量》：真实地感受当下，沉浸在附近和周遭 28:53 臣服于当下：掉进沼泽该怎么办 32:42 《敬畏之心》：8种奇迹与"默认神经网络"关闭 三、在日常"附近"找回巅峰体验37:59 站在真实的大地上去感受"附近"：晚霞、蝉鸣、抬头看天空 40:12 日常巅峰一：洗脸后探出窗，与隔壁花园的猫对视 41:28 日常巅峰二：摘下眼镜，看到不一样的新奇世界 45:14 状态好时做"充电清单"，状态差时照着做 46:33 接受人生起伏，随时拥有感知高光时刻的能力 提到的几个概念 默认神经网络（Default Mode Network）：大脑中不停嗡嗡自言自语、胡思乱想的神经回路。在身体极度疲惫或主动沉浸当下时会被"关掉"，是巅峰体验产生的神经科学基础。 臣服于当下：并非认命或放弃，而是不带评判地接受"我此刻就在这个状态里"的事实，然后以平静的心态采取行动。改变只能发生在当下。 敬畏（Awe）：面对宏大未知时产生的感觉，超越当前对世界的理解。会带来身体感受（后脑勺发麻、想哭），并让人意识到自身是比自身更宏大的事物的一部分。 生活的8种奇迹：《敬畏之心》一书中归纳的容易引发敬畏感的8类事件，包括自然的宏大、集体的欢腾、艺术与音乐、他人的故事等。 墨水稀释比喻：如果烦恼是一滴墨水，滴到水杯里和滴到海里效果完全不同。扩大生活体验、感受宏大，可以稀释日常的痛苦。 相关书籍 《当下的力量》 《敬畏之心》 往期相关单集 EP3.满世界到处跑，我用出走旅行深度养育自我 置顶图片扫码，解锁更多【养自己啊】深度内容 💬 粉丝群 | 节目更新，聊天交流，分享你的"养自己"瞬间 📖 公众号 | 未讲完的故事，主播专栏，文字版陪伴 Every day, filled with life's endless errands, chasing momentary joy through phone-scrolling — yet something always feels missing. That kind of complete immersion, that moment of being so moved the back of your scalp tingles. We call these "peak moments." This episode isn't about eliminating exhaustion. It's about finding the high-voltage moments that recharge you right in the middle of it. From oceans, starry skies, and desert sunsets, to the collective euphoria of an NBA game live; from having your mind blown at an art exhibition, to the perspective shift of looking down from the 50th floor at your 19th-floor office; and two books that help you recreate peak experiences — The Power of Now and Awe. Ultimately, we want to tell you: peak moments aren't some unattainable luxury. They're hidden in your "nearby" — in sunset glows, cicada songs, a cat locking eyes with you, even in the creamy-yellow light spots you see when you take off your glasses. The question is: are you willing to switch off the default mode network buzzing away in your brain, and truly, fully, live in the present? Hosts: Molly: Based in China, registered dietitian and product manager at a startup. Makes a living studying food, decompresses by "expressing everything out loud," and continuously explores the possibilities of life and self. ENFJ Sagittarius — high-energy, soft-hearted. Kathy: Based in the UK, engineering PhD candidate, lifestyle experiment enthusiast. From a Nanjing startup to a Beijing tech giant to an English campus, she's flowed like a river to carve out her own path. INFJ Aries — understated, with a rebellious core. Timeline I. Those Peak Moments That Make the Back of Your Scalp Tingle 00:05 Topic intro: What are "peak moments" in an exhausting life? 02:02 Oceans, Loch Ness, and starry skies at Mount Hua: nature's awe and the feeling of "being alive" 05:50 Desert sunset in America: struck by vastness in the midst of exhaustion 08:04 NBA live & World Cup at a pub: the energy and belonging of collective euphoria 13:21 Tipsy at an art exhibition: having your mind blown by paintings II. A New Perspective on Worries, and Two Books to Help You Recreate Peak Experiences 16:20 Looking down from the 50th floor at your 19th-floor office: problems shrink 19:41 The ink-dilution metaphor: expand your life to dilute the pain 24:14 The Power of Now: eating overnight oats by the river, fully present, discovering oleander 28:53 Surrendering to the present: what to do when you fall into a swamp 32:24 Awe: the 8 wonders of life and shutting off the "default mode network" III. Finding Peak Experiences in Your Everyday "Nearby" 37:59 Step outside and feel the "nearby": sunsets, cicadas, looking up at the sky 40:12 Everyday peak #1: leaning out the window after washing your face, locking eyes with a cat 41:28 Everyday peak #2: taking off your glasses and seeing creamy-yellow, diamond-like spots of light 45:14 Build a "recharge list" when you're doing well; follow it when you're not 46:33 Wrap-up: accept life's ups and downs, and always keep the ability to perceive peak moments Key Concepts Mentioned Default Mode Network: The neural circuit in the brain that constantly buzzes with self-talk and wandering thoughts. It gets "switched off" during extreme physical exhaustion or when actively immersing in the present — the neurological basis for peak experiences. Surrendering to the Present: Not resignation or giving up, but accepting without judgment the fact that "I am in this state right now," then taking action with a calm mind. Change can only happen in the present moment. Awe: The feeling when facing something vast and unknown that transcends your current understanding of the world. It brings physical sensations (scalp tingling, urge to cry) and makes you realize you're part of something larger than yourself. The 8 Wonders of Life: Eight categories of events identified in Awe that tend to trigger awe, including moral beauty/nature's vastness, collective effervescence, art and music, and others' stories. The Ink-Dilution Metaphor: If your worries are a drop of ink, dropping it into a cup versus into the ocean makes all the difference. Expanding your life experiences and sensing vastness can dilute everyday pain. Related Books The Power of Now, Awe Related Episodes EP3. Roaming the World: How I Deeply Nurture Myself Through Travel Scan the QR code to unlock more in-depth content 💬 Fan Group | Episode updates, chat, share your "nurturing yourself" moments 📖 Official Account | Untold stories, host columns, written companionship 在小宇宙查看该单集文稿

  4. 7月14日

    21.独立女性的财务安全感：一边取悦自己，一边为未来兜底

    一边想花钱取悦自己，一边又焦虑养老、大病风险，哪怕坚持存钱，内心依旧没有踏实的安全感？ 作为单身女青年，我们独自打拼、父母渐渐老去，身后无人可以托底，在 “及时行乐” 和 “拼命存钱” 之间反复拉扯，心里还总认定，银行卡里必须达到某个夸张的数字才算拥有安全感。 这期邀请《对账时间》主播毛毛，一个保险经纪人，从花钱不眨眼到系统性财务管理，给自己规划好了未来保障的独立女性，一起聊聊我们如何搭建财务安全系统的话题。 毛毛曾拥有十几年稳定恋情，30多岁分手后才被迫独自扛起房租、医疗、养老所有现实开销；而至卉早早明白只能靠自己，3直到30 岁开始主动摸索财务保障的方法和工具。 我们抛开枯燥理财公式、不推销复杂产品，只用两段真实女生人生，拆解普通人对保险、存钱的全部误解，分享不用压抑欲望的极简管钱办法。 最终想和你说：真正的自我养育，从来不是逼自己攒巨款，而是拥有既能好好取悦当下，也能稳稳守护未来的底气。 本期主播： 至卉：生活在中国，注册营养师兼创业公司产品经理，职业上靠研究食物谋生，生活中靠“用嘴表达”解压，持续探索生活与自我的可能性。ENFJ射手，激情高昂，内心柔软。 本期嘉宾： 毛毛：《对账时间》主播，坐标南京的保险经纪人，独立女性，演讲高手，可盐可甜 时间轴 一、作为单身女性，我们共有的金钱焦虑02:30 养老焦虑：我老了能住进豪华养老院吗？ 04:28 花钱一时爽，花完又后悔，我怎么还是钱不够多？ 05:44 要存300万才能过得舒坦？现金流比现金量更重要 二、觉醒时刻，我们终于明白什么是未来保障10:33 毛毛的人生转折点：16 年恋情结束，被迫直面独自生存的所有压力 13:29 至卉的觉醒：30 岁读懂风险，主动配置基础保障 15:54 破除三大保障误区：有钱了才考虑、买保险是纯消费、买了也用不上 19:20 用现在的小额开支，撬动未来更大的保障 24:47 我们还年轻，要从现在就考虑养老的事儿吗？ 三、零基础小白照抄：从0搭建财务安全系统32:26 存钱与活在当下两者兼得，认真对待钱，钱就认真对待你 34:00 分账户管理实操：毛毛精细分法 VS 小白极简分法 42:38 做预算还是记账？对金钱的事前VS事后管理 46:14 高风险投资要谨慎，也别压抑自己的好奇心 四、安全感的终极来源不止金钱54:20 安全感不是金钱本身，而是相信自己有能力保障未来 56:20 给新手的终极建议：先配齐基础医疗意外险，稳稳打好保障地基 提到的几个概念 损失厌恶：失去一笔钱的难受程度，远大于赚到同等金额的开心，花钱买保险会触发的损失感。 现金价值：长期保险逐年累积的保单自有资金，退保可取出，兼具储蓄与保障属性。 保险杠杆：每年少量保费，就能撬动几十万医疗、收入补偿的高额保障额度。 往期相关单集 EP10.买口红X买课：两种消费观的碰撞 EP11.富足是感受：从匮乏到滋养，聊聊我们和金钱的关系 置顶图片扫码，解锁更多【养自己啊】深度内容 💬 粉丝群 | 节目更新，聊天交流，分享你的“养自己”瞬间 📖 公众号 | 未讲完的故事，主播专栏，文字版陪伴 Ever caught yourself torn between splurging on little joys and panicking about retirement and medical bills? Even with consistent savings, you never quite feel financially secure. As young single women out here building our careers while our parents grow older, we have no family safety net to fall back on. We swing back and forth between living in the moment and hoarding every penny, convinced we need a massive six-figure bank balance to feel stable. In this chat, I sit down with Maomao, host of Balancing the Books and a professional insurance broker. Once a carefree spender, she’s built a structured money system to secure her future. We share two very different personal journeys, break down common misconceptions around savings and insurance, and share zero-restraint budgeting tactics with no complex formulas or pushy product sales. At the end of the day, self-care through money management isn’t about forcing yourself to hoard huge sums. It’s about building the confidence to treat yourself well today while safeguarding tomorrow. Host: ZhihuiA registered dietitian and product lead at a startup based in China. An ENFJ Sagittarius who’s passionate yet soft-hearted, she unpacks life’s possibilities through conversation and food research. Guest: Tiki MaoHost of Balancing the Books, an insurance broker based in Nanjing, and a versatile, independent public speaker. TimestampsPart 1: Shared Money Anxiety for Single Women02:30 The retirement worry: Can I afford a premium senior living community? 04:28 Instant gratification followed by guilt — why do I never feel like I have enough cash? 05:44 Savings balance vs steady cash flow: The latter brings real peace of mind Part 2: Our Wake-Up Calls — What Real Security Looks Like10:33 Maomao’s turning point: Ending a 16-year relationship forced her to cover rent, healthcare and retirement alone 13:29 Zhihui’s realization: I started planning for protection at 30 15:54 Three widespread insurance myths debunked 19:20 How small regular premiums unlock massive future coverage 24:47 Is retirement planning necessary when we’re still young? Part 3: Beginner-Friendly Financial Blueprint Anyone Can Copy32:26 Saving and enjoying life don’t have to be mutually exclusive; respect your money, and it’ll respect you back 34:00 Two budget split methods: Maomao’s detailed system vs simplified beginner version 42:38 Budgeting in advance vs tracking spending after the fact 46:14 High-risk investing: Proceed with caution, and don’t suppress your natural curiosity Part 4: Security Comes From More Than Cash54:20 True financial peace isn’t the money itself — it’s trust in your ability to provide for your later self 56:20 Core beginner tip: Start with affordable accident & medical insurance to lay your safety foundation Key Terminology ExplainedLoss Aversion: The pain of losing money outweighs the joy of gaining the same amount, which stops many people from buying insurance. Cash Value: Accumulated funds within permanent insurance policies that you can withdraw upon surrender, combining savings and coverage. Insurance Leverage: Pay modest annual premiums to access large sums of coverage for medical costs or lost income. Related Past EpisodesEP10 Lipstick vs Online Courses: Two Conflicting Views on Consumption EP11 Abundance Is a Feeling: Scarcity Mindset & Our Relationship With Money Extra ResourcesScan the QR code on the top pinned graphic for exclusive deep content from our show 💬 Fan Community: New episode alerts, casual chats, share your self-care wins 📖 Official Newsletter: Extended stories, host columns, written episode breakdowns 在小宇宙查看该单集文稿

  5. 7月2日

    20.梦中情房 | 不是豪宅，是安全舒适、有秩序的自我养育空间

    房子是生活的容器，是自我养育的花盆，我们都有自己喜欢的那一款，暂时拥有不了的时候，先松松土、加点营养液、把它挪到有阳光的地方，就已经很好了。 这一期，我们从住过的房子聊起。住过免费豪宅，也蜗居在快捷酒店。被北京看每都楼都是金钱符号、到英国终于租下一整个house。我们心里逐渐有了那个"梦中情房"的模样。 我们要的好像从来不是那套房子，而是住在里面那个舒服、妥帖、慢慢长开的自己。愿这一期，能让此刻正住在一个还不太满意的地方的你，松一口气。 不用急着搬家，为了房子背上太多压力，而是先从换一盏灯、擦一擦那件落了灰的置物架开始，慢慢画出属于自己的梦中情房蓝图。 本期主播： 至卉：生活在中国，注册营养师兼创业公司产品经理，职业上靠研究食物谋生，生活中靠“用嘴表达”解压，持续探索生活与自我的可能性。ENFJ射手，激情高昂，内心柔软。 翠翠：生活在英国，工科博士在读，生活方式试验爱好者，从南京初创公司到北京大厂再到英格兰校园，像河一样流出自己的人生路径。INFJ白羊，平淡内敛，一身反骨。 时间轴Part 1　从小城的免费豪宅，到整租英国house：我们的住房编年史 00:00我们的居住空间也是自我养育里很重要的一部分 01:11 至卉的迁徙：毕业免费豪宅→上海蜗居快捷酒店→回家与爸妈生活→精致单身公寓 04:45 翠翠的迁徙：跟爸妈住的便利生活→北漂被房租吓呆→英国租下一整个house Part 2　承受度是会被撑大的：租房选择与心理成长 09:27 合租大 house 的奔溃瞬间——公用洗衣机的异味恶心到我 11:51 为了说服自己整租一个 house，认真写了一页纸的思想斗争 13:00 租房的选择和心理成长互相塑造 15:21 明明有了大空间，却缩在小角落："我还不敢、不配使用更大的空间" 17:43 为住房花钱，花了再去挣就好——"省着省着，窟窿等着" Part 3　让房子越来越像自己：改造、养护，和一场百叶窗奇遇 18:40 工程师脑上线：把橱柜画成图纸，规划储物空间 21:48 从种子开始养的一屋子植物：牛油果、香料、能吃的菜，搭一个"可循环系统" 23:53 至卉的改造：测量、规划、分区，50平米样样俱全 26:11 划分区域，空间整洁，脑子好像也跟着整洁了 26:50 百叶窗奇遇：有些东西不是不好，只是缺乏养护，我们的脑子也一样 Part 4　我们要的从来不是那套房子，而是理想生活状态 34:40 至卉的梦中情房：大厨房、大阳台、江边与树荫 38:06 翠翠的蓝图：书房工作间、爱好角落、满屋植物，旁边一定要有电影院 42:00 房子的地段选择，通勤路上能看看小花，就已经足够美好 46:31 梦中情房，其实是想要一个"可以选择"生活圈的机会 48:07 不一定非要买房，实现理想生活状态有很多途径，因地制宜 55:22 房子是养育我们的花盆：挪不动就先松松土、挪到阳光下 本期提到的 王德峰 讲《道德经》——"人法地"，因地制宜地安排自己的生活 神秀偈"时时勤拂拭，莫使惹尘埃"（《六祖坛经》） 往期相关单集 19.野心 | 按自己的意愿过一生，从大胆说出“我想要”开始 17.以人为镜 | 从魅力男性身上，认出自己想长成的形状 05.一个人生活，喜忧参半的自我养育加速器 置顶图片扫码，解锁更多【养自己啊】深度内容 💬 粉丝群 | 节目更新，聊天交流，分享你的“养自己”瞬间 📖 公众号 | 未讲完的故事，主播专栏，文字版陪伴 About This Episode This episode starts with the places we've actually lived — the five-room company flat in Zhenjiang that Zhihui had entirely to herself, the Beijing stretch when every apartment block started looking like a stack of banknotes, the empty rooms Cuicui didn't dare set foot in while flat-sharing in the UK — and works its way toward what our "dream home" really looks like. Somewhere in the talking, we realised: what we're after was never the house itself, but the version of ourselves who gets to live inside it — comfortable, settled, slowly unfurling. The house is our plant pot. When you can't move it, loosening the soil, adding a little feed, and nudging it toward the light are already plenty. May this episode let you — if you're living somewhere that doesn't quite fit right now — breathe out a little. There's no rush to move. Start by changing one lamp, or wiping the dust off that one thing. Your Hosts Zhihui: Lives in China. A registered dietitian and product manager at a startup — she makes her living studying food, and unwinds by "expressing herself through her mouth" (eating and talking, in roughly equal measure), forever exploring what life and the self can become. ENFJ Sagittarius: bright and high-spirited on the outside, soft underneath. Cuicui: Lives in the UK. An engineering PhD candidate and lifestyle-experiment enthusiast — from a Nanjing startup to a Beijing tech giant to a campus in England, she's carved out her own path the way a river finds its course. INFJ Aries: quiet and understated on the surface, with a stubborn streak of rebellion. Timestamps Part 1 From a Free Luxury Apartment in a Small Town to Renting an Entire UK House: Our Housing Chronicle00:00 Our living space is also a vital part of self-nurturing. 01:11 Zhihui’s residential journey: Free luxury apartment after graduation → Cramped budget hotel in Shanghai → Living with parents back home → Exquisite single apartment 04:45 Cuicui’s residential journey: Convenient life living with parents → Shocked by Beijing’s rental prices as a migrant worker in the capital → Renting an entire house in the UK Part 2 Resilience Grows With Experience: Rental Housing and Personal Growth09:27 Breakdown moment of sharing a large house: The unpleasant odor from the shared washing machine made me sick. 11:51 I wrote a full page of self-persuasion to resolve my inner struggle before deciding to rent an entire house alone. 13:00 Our choices in housing and our mental growth shape each other mutually. 15:21 Even with a spacious living space, I still huddle in a tiny corner — I still feel unworthy and hesitant to embrace a bigger space. 17:43 It’s okay to spend money on housing; we can always earn it back. Saving excessively only leaves us with unforeseen losses. Part 3 Make a House a Home: Renovation, Maintenance and a Serendipity with Blinds18:40 Engineering mindset kicked in: I drew blueprints for cabinets to plan the storage space rationally. 21:48 A house full of plants grown from seeds: avocados, herbs and edible greens, building a self-sustaining mini ecological cycle. 23:53 Zhihui’s home renovation: Precise measurement, overall planning and functional zoning, making a 50-square-meter space fully equipped for all needs. 26:11 Zoning the space keeps the room tidy, and my mind feels organized too. 26:50 A serendipity with blinds: Nothing is inherently flawed; most things just lack proper maintenance — and the same goes for our minds. Part 4 What We Truly Desire Is Never a House, but an Ideal Lifestyle34:40 Zhihui’s dream home: A spacious kitchen, a large balcony, overlooking riverside scenery and lush shade trees. 38:06 Cuicui’s ideal living blueprint: A study and workspace, dedicated hobby corners, rooms filled with plants, and a cinema nearby. 42:00 When choosing a house location, a commute with glimpses of blooming flowers is enough to bring warmth and joy. 46:31 A dream home essentially means having the freedom to choose your own social and living circle. 48:08 Buying a house is not a must. There are various ways to achieve an ideal life, and we should adjust measures to local conditions. 55:22 A house is like a flower pot that nurtures us. If you cannot move it temporarily, loosen the soil and move it to the sunlight first. Mentioned in This Episode Wang Defeng's lectures on the Tao Te Ching — "man follows the earth", arranging your life to suit where you are The Chan (Zen) verse "polish it constantly, let no dust settle" (Platform Sutra) Related Episodes Ambition | Living life on your own terms starts with daring to say "I want this" People as Mirrors | Through charismatic men, recognising the shape we quietly want to grow into Living Alone: a bittersweet accelerator for nurturing yourself 在小宇宙查看该单集文稿

    20.梦中情房 | 不是豪宅，是安全舒适、有秩序的自我养育空间

  6. 6月16日

    19.野心 | 按自己的意愿过一生，从大胆说出“我想要”开始

    不聊怎么把野心做大，说说我们怎么从"不敢要"，一点点学着把"我想要"说出口。 从小被夸"听话""懂事"，连出去玩都不好意思说想去哪；写得最好的演讲稿被让给了别人，活儿干完了也不敢承认是自己做的——这些我们太熟了。 野心这个词听起来张牙舞爪，可它也可以很具体、很温柔：是一套江边的房子，是想给世界留下一丢丢痕迹，是允许自己挣到钱，也是终于敢报一个配得上自己的价。 在我们实现野心的路上，走着走着，焦虑反而散了——原来不一定要冲到终点才算数，路是一点点走清楚的，过程中也有风景。 愿这一期能让你松一口气：野心不必慌张，它可以是远处的一颗北极星，也可以是此刻脚边刚刚开的一朵小花。 本期主播： 至卉：生活在中国，注册营养师兼创业公司产品经理，职业上靠研究食物谋生，生活中靠“用嘴表达”解压，持续探索生活与自我的可能性。ENFJ射手，激情高昂，内心柔软。 翠翠：生活在英国，工科博士在读，生活方式试验爱好者，从南京初创公司到北京大厂再到英格兰校园，像河一样流出自己的人生路径。INFJ白羊，平淡内敛，一身反骨。 时间轴Part 1 敢不敢要：野心的地基 00:00 今天，我们想聊聊"野心"这个有点带劲的话题 00:44 至卉：成长里我们很少被鼓励，大胆说出自己的野心 01:07 翠翠：从小被要求听话，出去玩也总在妥协自己的需求 02:08 敢不敢要，才是最底层的事——小事都不敢提，野心更别谈 02:37 至卉：小学演讲，我写了最好的稿子，却被让给了别人 04:04 翠翠：研究助理的活儿干完了95%，却不敢说是我做的 05:02 孔融让梨、树大招风、枪打出头鸟 Part 2 世俗的野心与安全感 05:31 至卉：你内心最大的渴望，到底是什么？ 05:56 提到野心，第一反应总是世俗的：年薪百万、大房子 06:28 翠翠：我能解决多大的问题，就能带来多大的财富 07:21 至卉的梦中情房：40岁，住进江边那个新贵片区 09:11 翠翠一个"不太稳妥"的价值观：先把想花的钱花出去，再去找 10:11 瑞士那位"玩钱"的朋友：想露宿街头，还得主动努力 12:53 不必存满五年才敢享受；而且现在，谁还会饿死呢 13:40 至卉：我还真算过——算完发现"仍需努力" Part 3 两种驱动力：愿景与野心 14:19 翠翠：一本讲《驱动力》的书——人有两类驱动力 15:03 物质满足之后，使命、热爱、好奇心才慢慢长出来 15:55 三个支柱：自主、胜任、目的（翠翠还想加第四个：决定要自己做） 17:19 翠翠：我的野心是按自己的意愿过我的一生 17:26 愿景 vs 野心：野心就在眼前，愿景是远方的状态 19:51 这句话，其实是当年明月写在《明朝那些事儿》结尾的 20:44 读博算不算野心？更多是直觉 22:47 闯荡天地的驱动力，是想离开那个让我压抑的环境 Part 4 为了野心，我们做了什么 24:17 那就聊聊：为了这些野心，我们都做过什么 24:52 至卉更大的野心：改变一丢丢世界，留下一点痕迹 25:07 翠翠：这在哲学上，叫"存在主义焦虑" 25:57 做播客也有世俗的野心——希望有一天能接广告 28:06 700个粉就很开心了；想当年70个粉时，我们都要欢呼一下 28:47 有野心就去做，先做了再说 30:04 "敢"的两个层面：敢想，和敢做 30:28 至卉：稻盛和夫说"心想事成"，信念真的很重要 31:35 野心不是要拔着头发飞上天，而是努力垫一垫脚就够得着 Part 5 自信、配得感，和敢报高价 31:58 不同性格的野心长得不一样，具体务实VS冒险精神 33:12 翠翠的察觉：从前我好像"不太允许自己挣到钱" 34:09 打开一个心结，钱就流进来了 35:11 至卉：从金钱羞耻到敢报高价 36:54 挑环境也很重要：让那些打压我的人，离我的生活远一点 37:30 能力配不上野心时，焦虑就来了；把能力提上来，情绪也就散了 Part 6 一步一步，慢慢走也会到 37:50 至卉：从演讲台上那根被嘲笑的"木头"说起 38:31 至卉：公司品牌宣讲第一人，背后是一百多次的刻意练习 41:01 翠翠：完成博士也一样，能力和野心的差距慢慢缩小 43:01 刚上路时，地图前方一片雾，走近了，才看清脚下的下一步 45:05 如果能享受每个阶段，那整条路，都是繁花盛开的感觉 45:44 远处要有那颗北极星，脚下的风景，也是要看的 这期里提到的Daniel Pink《Drive》（驱动力）—— Type X / Type I；自主性 autonomy、胜任性 mastery、目的性 purpose 当年明月《明朝那些事儿》——「按照自己的意愿，去度过一生」 稻盛和夫 ——「心想事成」／强烈的念想 存在主义焦虑（想留下点什么） 英国 Researcher Development Framework（研究者能力的多维度拆解） 复现嘉宾 叶帆（水墨画家）—— 人在每个阶段，都有每个阶段的特质与享受 节目里提到的往期单集🎧 EP18 与焦虑共处 | 不是你不行，是你在走上坡路 置顶名片扫码 解锁更多【养自己啊】深度内容💬 粉丝群 | 节目更新，聊天交流，分享你的"养自己"瞬间 📖 公众号 | 未讲完的故事，主播专栏，文字版陪伴 Title: Ambition | A Star Ahead, Flowers at Your Feet Intro This episode is about ambition — not how to make yours bigger, but how the two of us, both rather bad at wanting things out loud, slowly learned to say "I want this." Praised as children for being "good" and "sensible", too shy even to say where we'd like to go on a trip; watching the best speech we ever wrote handed to someone else; finishing the work and not daring to admit it was ours — we know all of this far too well. And somewhere in the talking we found that ambition, for all its teeth, can be quite concrete and quite gentle too: a flat by the river, the wish to leave some small mark on the world, letting yourself earn money, finally daring to name a price that's actually worth your while. We also get into why, somewhere along the way, the anxiety quietly lifts — it turns out you don't have to sprint to the finish for it to count; the road grows clearer as you walk it, and flowers open underfoot. If you're somewhere on that climb, we hope this one lets you breathe out: ambition needn't be all rush — it can be a North Star far ahead, and a little flower that's just opened by your feet. Your hosts: Zhihui: Based in China. A registered dietitian and product manager at a start-up — she makes a living studying food, and unwinds by "talking it out", forever exploring the possibilities of life and self. ENFJ, Sagittarius; high-spirited, soft on the inside. Cuicui: Based in the UK. An engineering PhD candidate and devoted life-experiment enthusiast, flowing her own path like a river — from a Nanjing start-up, to a Beijing tech giant, to an English campus. INFJ, Aries; understated and reserved, with a rebel streak. Books Mentioned in This Episode Drive (Daniel Pink) Those Things of the Ming Dynasty (当年明月) Past Episodes Referenced 🎧 EP18 在小宇宙查看该单集文稿

    19.野心 | 按自己的意愿过一生，从大胆说出“我想要”开始

  7. 6月2日

    18.与焦虑共处 | 不是你不行，是你在走上坡路

    这一期我们聊焦虑，不是教你怎么消灭它，是聊我们俩这些年怎么一边焦虑一边往前走的。 心跳快到睡前能听见，疯狂给朋友发短信，刷手机刷到忘了今天干过什么——这些我们都太熟了。我们把各自最狼狈的时刻摊开来聊：学生时代的考试、埋头干到口吃的硕士论文、挂着心电监测仪去看电影、决定要不要出国读博的那几个月……聊着聊着发现，好多焦虑其实是自己加给自己的：没人逼我们，是我们给自己当了个最严厉的监工，连睡觉都要逼自己好好睡。 那怎么办呢？我们聊了当下能用的急救办法：呼吸、五感着陆、出门暴走、做自己的好领导而不是苛刻监工。也聊了心理重构的那部分：怎么识别焦虑、接受它是正常的，然后不跟它打架，让子弹飞一会儿，等理智脑慢慢开机。 如果你最近也在走上坡路，愿这一期能让你松一口气。焦虑不是因为你不行，是因为上坡路本来就很难走。 本期主播： 至卉：生活在中国，注册营养师兼创业公司产品经理，职业上靠研究食物谋生，生活中靠“用嘴表达”解压，持续探索生活与自我的可能性。ENFJ射手，激情高昂，内心柔软。 翠翠：生活在英国，工科博士在读，生活方式试验爱好者，从南京初创公司到北京大厂再到英格兰校园，像河一样流出自己的人生路径。INFJ白羊，平淡内敛，一身反骨。 时间轴Part 1 焦虑爆棚的那些时刻 00:00 今天我们想聊聊焦虑 01:11 至卉：最近几个月的焦虑巅峰，自己卷自己 04:20 翠翠：从学生时代的考试开始，一关一关地焦虑 06:50 压力 ≠ 焦虑：焦虑多了一层"我可能过不去"的预设 09:00 皮质醇有多高，后面的多巴胺就有多高 10:40 挂着心电监测仪去看电影：焦虑直接反映在身体上 12:56 一山更比一山高：出国还是留下，那几个月的人生选择焦虑 Part 2 焦虑从哪来：镜子里的脑科学 14:55 我们的选择是个偏直觉的过程，但我们总想理性量化 17:20《思考快与慢》：系统一（直觉）和系统二（理性） 19:44 三个脑袋：本能脑、情绪脑、理智脑——理智脑是最年轻的项目经理 21:44 直觉有时是准的：拖延，可能是直觉说"不用那么急" 23:25 必要的焦虑：它在提醒你重视、想表现好 24:23 完美主义这道暗题：不仅自己做，还要做到100分 Part 3 当焦虑来袭：表层急救包 29:40 第一步：识别它、接受它是正常情绪 30:30 我的焦虑信号：心跳快、疯狂发短信、刷手机刷到断片 33:00 盒式呼吸法：呼气长于吸气，激活副交感神经 33:28 五感着陆（54321）：把注意力转到看得见摸得着的事物 34:17 起不来床就先起床：行动成本极低的一小步 36:07 焦虑很深坐不住，我就出去暴走，去小树林、去江边 39:45 别当自己的监工，当个好领导：放松也要放进 to-do list Part 4 往根上走：与焦虑共处 41:38 没有转折点，是漫长的过程：从学管理到学着理解自己 43:30 想管别人，结果发现理解不了自己 49:40 至卉的限制性信念：要允许自己焦虑 51:25 不跟焦虑打架，跟它玩一玩；翠翠：我把它叫水坝 54:30 让子弹飞一会儿：焦虑来了，就让它焦虑一会儿 56:08 一次认知重构：焦虑 = 我不行 → 焦虑 = 我在走上坡路 58:10 掌控能掌控的，放手不能掌控的，用智慧分辨 59:05 收尾：不做永不焦虑的超人，允许自己带着焦虑往前走 这期里出现过的书 《思考快与慢》（丹尼尔·卡尼曼） 节目里提到的往期单集 🎧 EP02 驱散焦灼心情的五感着陆小魔法，重新养育幸福力 🎧 EP13 完美主义者的开荒实验：当我们终于在崩溃边缘学会放手 🎧 EP16 班味儿，是自我磨损的胶皮焦味 置顶图片扫码解锁更多【养自己啊】深度内容 💬 粉丝群 | 节目更新，聊天交流，分享你的“养自己”瞬间 📖 公众号 | 未讲完的故事，主播专栏，文字版陪伴 Title:Living with Anxiety | It's Not That You Can't — You're Climbing Intro This episode is about anxiety — not how to defeat it, but how the two of us have spent these years moving forward while anxious. A heart racing so hard you can hear it before sleep; firing off texts to friends; scrolling your phone until you can't remember what you did all day — we know all of this far too well. We lay out our most undone moments: exams as students, the master's thesis we ground through until we nearly stammered, sitting through a film with a heart monitor strapped on, the months spent deciding whether to go abroad for a PhD. Somewhere along the way we realised how much of it we pile on ourselves: nobody is forcing us — we've simply appointed ourselves the harshest supervisor we'll ever have, forcing ourselves even to sleep well. So what helps? We talk through the in-the-moment rescues: breathing, five-senses grounding, walking it off outdoors, being your own good manager rather than a punishing taskmaster. And we go into the cognitive reframe too — how to notice anxiety, accept that it's normal, and then, instead of fighting it, let the bullet fly for a while and wait for the reasoning brain to boot up. If you're on an uphill stretch lately, we hope this one lets you breathe out. It isn't that you're not good enough — it's that the road up was always going to be hard. Your hosts: Zhihui: Based in China. A registered dietitian and product manager at a start-up — she makes a living studying food, and unwinds by "talking it out", forever exploring the possibilities of life and self. ENFJ, Sagittarius; high-spirited, soft on the inside. Cuicui: Based in the UK. An engineering PhD candidate and devoted life-experiment enthusiast, flowing her own path like a river — from a Nanjing start-up, to a Beijing tech giant, to an English campus. INFJ, Aries; understated and reserved, with a rebel streak. Timeline Part 1 — The Moments Anxiety Peaked 00:00 Today, we want to talk about anxiety 01:11 Zhihui: the peak of these past few months — winding myself up 04:20 Cuicui: it started with exams as a student, anxious at every gate 06:50 Stress ≠ anxiety: anxiety adds a layer of "I might not make it through" 09:00 The higher the cortisol before, the higher the dopamine after 10:40 Watching a film with a heart monitor on: anxiety shows up in the body 12:56 Each peak higher than the last: go abroad or stay — the anxiety of a life choice Part 2 — Where Anxiety Comes From: The Neuroscience in the Mirror 14:55 Our choices run on intuition, yet we keep trying to quantify them rationally 17:20 Thinking, Fast and Slow: System 1 (intuition) and System 2 (reason) 19:44 Three brains: instinct, emotion, reason — the reasoning brain is the youngest project manager 21:44 Intuition is sometimes right: procrastination may be intuition saying "no rush" 23:25 Necessary anxiety: it's reminding you that you care, that you want to do well 24:23 Perfectionism, the hidden culprit: not just doing it yourself, but doing it to 100 Part 3 — When Anxiety Hits: The First-Aid Kit 29:40 Step one: notice it, accept that it's a normal emotion 30:30 My anxiety signals: racing heart, frantic texting, scrolling till I black out 33:00 Box breathing: exhale longer than you inhale to engage the parasympathetic system 33:28 Five-senses grounding (54321): shift attention to something you can see and touch 34:17 Can't get out of bed? Get up first: a step with almost no cost to take 36:07 Too anxious to sit still, so I walk it off — to the little woods, to the riverside 39:45 Stop being your own taskmaster, be a good manager: put rest on the to-do list too Part 4 — Going Deeper: Living with Anxiety 41:38 There was no turning point, just a long process: from studying management to understanding myself 43:30 I set out to manage others, only to find I couldn't understand myself 49:40 Zhihui's limiting belief: I must allow myself to be anxious 51:25 Don't fight anxiety, play with it a while; Cuicui: I call it a dam 54:30 Let the bullet fly: when anxiety comes, just let it be anxious for a bit 56:08 A cognitive reframe: anxiety = I can't → anxiety = I'm climbing 58:10 Control what you can, let go of what you can't, and have the wisdom to tell them apart 59:05 Closing: not becoming someone who never feels anxious, but letting ourselves move forward with it Books Mentioned in This Episode Thinking, Fast and Slow (Daniel Kahneman) Past Episodes Referenced 🎧 EP02 🎧 EP13 🎧 EP16 在小宇宙查看该单集文稿

    18.与焦虑共处 | 不是你不行，是你在走上坡路

  8. 5月19日

    17.以人为镜 | 从魅力男性身上，认出自己想长成的形状

    520 这周，我们不聊爱情，聊一件更浪漫的事——我们眼中的男性魅力。 最近我们都遇见了一些帅哥，不论是现实生活中的偶遇，还是影视剧集中的角色，那些被我们看见的“帅”，始于颜值层面，但惊艳于某种内在品质。 儒雅、机智、温柔的力量感、敢上天入地的勇气、懂得尊重的男子气概等等，都是我们眼中的理想型特质。 我们慢慢意识到：我们觉得有魅力的特质，常常就是我们自己想要、但还没长出来的那一部分，这就不止是“男性魅力”的事了。 我们都在魅力男性身上找到自己缺的那一块：翠翠把一位温柔男士对她说话的方式内化进了自我对话；至卉则从男性的野心里偷一点为自己撑场子的勇气。 伟大的灵魂，都是雌雄同体的。 愿你听完也为自己更新一份「理想型清单」。不是为了找谁，而是为了认领你身上正在长出来的那一部分。 本期主播： 至卉：生活在中国，注册营养师兼创业公司产品经理，职业上靠研究食物谋生，生活中靠“用嘴表达”解压，持续探索生活与自我的可能性。ENFJ射手，激情高昂，内心柔软。 翠翠：生活在英国，工科博士在读，生活方式试验爱好者，从南京初创公司到北京大厂再到英格兰校园，像河一样流出自己的人生路径。INFJ白羊，平淡内敛，一身反骨。 时间轴Part 1 我们眼里有谁? 00:00 520 这周，我们不聊爱情，聊一件更浪漫的事 00:38 船员小哥：男人最好的医美，是他的摄影技术 04:09 帅气老登：儒雅耐心的眼科主任医师 06:05 男主巡礼：张凌赫《逐玉》、韩东君《装腔启示录》、李现《春风寄情人》 09:03 翠翠的理想型：翩翩公子、温润如玉、聪慧的大脑、文艺的爱好 13:00 至卉的理想型：勇敢与力量，于万军中取上将首级 16:36 尊重女性，平等对话，才更显男子气概 Part 2 为什么是这些特质：镜子里的我们 17:36 每个人的审美都折射出自己 18:59 你想要、但还没达到的，会落在理想型的池子里 19:22 没被父亲温柔对待的童年，让我无法抵抗温柔属性 22:45 勇敢是什么？是少数人有但我想要的品质 25:07 我们通过这些人，知道自己向往哪些品质 Part 3 以人为镜，借光生长 25:40 吸星大法，用魅力男性的特质养育自己 27:40 我把温柔男士的对话，内化成了我跟自己说话的方式 29:29 温柔不是软弱，是非暴力的沟通方式 32:45 女性受欺负时，也可以学习男性的力量来捍卫自己 37:20 男性的野心+女性的共情力：女性搞事业的王炸组合 Part 4 雌雄同体的人们 42:08 伟大的灵魂，都是雌雄同体的 42:39 稀缺的性别特质都是绝杀：女性的野心、男性的谦逊 44:33 魅力的对立面，是映射了我们自身的不足，也要学会接纳 46:00 勇敢不是不会害怕，是害怕，还能往前冲 这期里出现过的人和作品 剧集：《装腔启示录》《白日提灯》《春风寄情人》《神探夏洛克》《逐玉》 演员：张凌赫、韩东君、李现、陈飞宇 节目里提到的往期单集 🎧EP12 女性主义×男子气概：从《蓝眼武士》到《非穷尽列举》 置顶图片扫码解锁更多【养自己啊】深度内容 💬 粉丝群 | 节目更新，聊天交流，分享你的“养自己”瞬间 📖 公众号 | 未讲完的故事，主播专栏，文字版陪伴 EP17 People as Mirrors | Through Charismatic Men, the Shape We're Quietly Growing Into It's 520 this week — the Chinese date that sounds like wǒ ài nǐ ("I love you"), an unofficial Valentine's. Instead of talking about love, we're talking about something even more romantic — the kind of male charisma that catches our eye. Lately, we've both come across some impressive guys — whether in real-life encounters or characters from films and shows. The “attractiveness” we noticed started with good looks, but what truly amazed us were certain inner qualities. Gentleness, intelligence, quiet strength, courage that dares to conquer the world, and a masculinity rooted in respect — these are the traits we find most compelling. We gradually realised: the qualities we find attractive in others are often the very ones we long for — but haven't fully grown into yet. So it's no longer just about “male charisma.” Each of us has found a missing piece in a charismatic man: Cuicui learned how a gentle friend spoke to her and internalised it into her own self-talk. Zhihui, on the other hand, wants to borrow a little of that male ambition to summon more courage for herself. Great souls are androgynous. We hope that after listening, you’ll update your own “ideal type checklist” — not to go looking for someone else, but to recognise the parts of yourself that are still growing. The hosts Zhihui | Based in China. Registered dietitian and product manager at a start-up — researches food for a living, decompresses by talking things out, and keeps experimenting with what life and a self can be. ENFJ Sagittarius: high-voltage on the outside, soft on the inside. Cuicui | Based in the UK. Engineering PhD in progress, lifestyle-experimentation enthusiast. From a Nanjing start-up, to a Beijing tech giant, to an English campus — her path winding the way a river finds its own. INFJ Aries: outwardly even-keeled, with a streak of rebellion underneath. Timestamps Part 1 — Who we've been noticing 00:00 A 520 week, but not a love episode 00:38 The boat crew guy – the best cosmetic surgery for a man is his photography skills. 04:09 The charming old man – a gentle, patient ophthalmologist. 06:05 A tour of our favourite male characters: Zhang Linghe in Zhu Yu, Han Dongjun in The Insiders, Li Xian in Spring Winds, Beloved. 09:03 Cuicui’s ideal type: graceful, warm as jade, a sharp mind, cultured hobbies. 13:00 Zhihui’s ideal type: brave and strong – the kind who can charge into battle and take the enemy general’s head. 16:36 Respecting women and having equal conversations – that’s what real masculinity looks like. Part 2 — Why these qualities? The mirrors in us 17:36 Our taste in others reflects ourselves. 18:59 The qualities you want but haven’t yet achieved – they fall into your “ideal type” pool. 19:22 A childhood without a gentle father makes it impossible to resist tenderness as an adult. 22:45 What is courage? A quality few have – but one I want. 25:07 Through these people, we discover which qualities we aspire to. Part 3 — People as mirrors, growing by borrowed light 25:40 Absorbing their strengths – nurturing ourselves with the traits of charismatic men. 27:40 I internalised the way a gentle man spoke to me – now that’s how I talk to myself. 29:29 Gentleness is not weakness – it’s a non‑violent way of communicating. 32:45 When women face mistreatment, we can also learn from masculine strength to defend ourselves. 37:20 Male ambition + female empathy – the ultimate power combo for women in their careers. Part 4 — The androgynous among us 42:08 Great souls are androgynous. 42:39 Rare gender traits are game‑changers: ambition in women, humility in men. 44:33 The opposite of charm often mirrors our own shortcomings – and we need to accept those too. 46:00 Courage isn’t the absence of fear – it’s being afraid and still moving forward. People and works mentioned Dramas: Fake It Till You Make It《装腔启示录》, Love Beyond the Grave《白日提灯》, Will Love in Spring《春风寄情人》, Sherlock《神探夏洛克》, Pursuing the Jade《逐玉》 Actors: Zhang Linghe 张凌赫, Han Dongjun 韩东君, Li Xian 李现，Chen Feiyu 陈飞宇 A past episode we touched on 🎧 EP12 Feminism × Masculinity: from Blue Eye Samurai to Inter Alia 在小宇宙查看该单集文稿

    17.以人为镜 | 从魅力男性身上，认出自己想长成的形状
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养自己啊？问题不大！ 两位生活在地球两端的30+女性，用物质和精神食粮重新把自己养育一遍的生活方式实验。 自己当自己的父母，按自己的喜好和节奏，慢慢活成想要的样子。照顾好身体，安放好情绪，经营好关系，慢慢长成自己——陪你在养育自己的路上走得温暖一点。 每两周更新，欢迎常来坐坐。 Nurturing Yourself? No Big Deal! Two women in their thirties living on opposite ends of the earth, experimenting with ways to re-nurture themselves through nourishment for both body and soul. New episodes every fortnight. Drop by whenever you like.

信息

  • 创作者
    营养师至卉Molly
  • 活跃年份
    2025年 - 2026年
  • 单集
    24
  • 分级
    儿童适宜
  • 版权
    © 营养师至卉Molly@小宇宙App
  • 节目网站
    养自己啊