Textbook Sleep

Jim Nolan

Fall asleep to the world's dullest textbooks. jimnolan1.substack.com

  1. Textbook Sleep #19: The Machinery of the Universe

    6 DAYS AGO

    Textbook Sleep #19: The Machinery of the Universe

    The Machinery of the Universe. Hang on, that actually sounds interesting! Not to worry—it’s not. It’s physics, but with an interesting title—academic bait and switch. But for the purposes of Textbook Sleep, the Maximum-Strength Sleep Aid podcast, this 1915 public-domain book by A. E. Dolbear, A.B., A.M., M.E., Ph.D., Professor of Physics and Astronomy at Tufts College, is just right for settling us in to a long winter’s nap. Your Apple Watch may wonder if you’ll ever wake up. It’s just the machinery of the universe, working perfectly to power you to sleep. Let’s start, shall we? This recording will end quietly. Get full access to Pieces of Jim at jimnolan1.substack.com/subscribe

    40 min
  2. Textbook Sleep #18: Booze and Bread

    29 JAN

    Textbook Sleep #18: Booze and Bread

    Welcome back to Textbook Sleep, the Maximum Strength, aural sleep aid, in which I read from soporific public domain textbooks. Subjects that once put you to sleep in the classroom or library, now putting you to sleep in bed. On tonight’s syllabus we’ll listen to another chapter of General Science by Dr. Bertha M. Clark, this time on fermentation. Like few subjects, fermentation foments sleep. It won’t kill you to listen to it, but it is deadly boring. Pull up the covers. It’s time to begin. This recording will end quietly. Get full access to Pieces of Jim at jimnolan1.substack.com/subscribe

    35 min
  3. Textbook Sleep #17: Man's Conquest of Substances

    22 JAN

    Textbook Sleep #17: Man's Conquest of Substances

    Hello and welcome to another episode of Textbook Sleep, the non-prescription yet habit-forming Maximum-Strength Sleep Aid. Time-released every Wednesday night at 8:30 Eastern Time. Tonight we continue to read from General Science by Bertha M. Clark, Ph.D. Dr. Clark was the Head of the Science Department at the William Penn High School for Girls in Philadelphia. The school opened in 1909, went co-ed in 1974, and closed in 2010. General Science was published in 1912. Its only downside, for our purposes, is that it often veers into interesting territory. But I will try to read it in velvety, sleep-inducing tones. You will not be conscious long once you start hearing about acids, bases, and here’s the kicker… washing powders. If I can hold my own head up—and that’s a big if—we may even get to nitrogen and its relation to plants. There will be no quiz on this material. Are you still awake? Let us commence. This podcast will end quietly. Get full access to Pieces of Jim at jimnolan1.substack.com/subscribe

    34 min
  4. Textbook Sleep #16: Photography

    15 JAN

    Textbook Sleep #16: Photography

    Welcome to Textbook Sleep, the Maximum-Strength Sleep Aid, where I read extremely boring public-domain textbooks to help people fall asleep. We continue with General Science by Bertha M. Clark, Ph.D. Specifically, we’ll hear what Dr. Clark has to say about photography, or I will anyway—you’ll be lulled to sleep, hearing me speak of movable convex lenses, sodium thiosulphite, and sensitive plates left to dry in dark rooms. Today we all carry a camera in our pockets, but in 1912, when this textbook was written, a photograph was far more complicated to take. Which was great in that no one could take a selfie, let alone post it on so-called social media. Still, it’s all terribly tedious, which is just perfect for our purposes. Smile. And sleep. This recording will end quietly. Get full access to Pieces of Jim at jimnolan1.substack.com/subscribe

    33 min
  5. Textbook Sleep #15: The Ways of Water

    8 JAN

    Textbook Sleep #15: The Ways of Water

    Water is important. Don’t take my word for it, take that of Bertha M. Clark, Ph.D., Head of the Science Department at the William Penn High School for Girls in Philadelphia. She made this claim in General Science in 1912, and I see no reason to question whether it is not just as true today. We are constantly being told to drink glass after glass of water and many carry a large container of water with them everywhere, the better to “hydrate.” I myself hydrate by drinking cup after cup of coffee, until I can feel my brain’s synapses vibrating like an old-fashioned alarm bell that no one can quite figure out how to shut off. But there will be no alarm bells going off tonight. Instead, I will read Dr. Clark’s wise, watery words from 113 years ago, and you can drift away on them, into sleep. This recording will end quietly. Get full access to Pieces of Jim at jimnolan1.substack.com/subscribe

    31 min
  6. Textbook Sleep #14: The Mingling of Molecules

    13/12/2025

    Textbook Sleep #14: The Mingling of Molecules

    Most of us have probably not given much thought to the “mingling of molecules.” For good reason: It’s stunningly boring, no matter how important it may be to our daily lives. Fortunately for us, Carleton W. Washburne wrote an entire chapter on it in his Common Science textbook in 1921, and it’s been waiting 104 years to lull us to sleep. It was meant for high schoolers and yet I suspect you will not be able to follow along— you will be long unconscious before any mingling occurs. I, on the other hand, will have to read it, not understanding any two sentences in a row, as I studied only English back when that was a thing. If the world depended on me for scientific enlightenment, we would be quickly plunged back into the Dark Ages, with no shampoos that both clean and moisturize or other wonderments of our age. Sure, they had cars back in 1921, but no heated seats, no Wolfman Jack, no In-N-Out Burger drive-thru lanes to queue up in. Let us imagine mingling with a Double-Double and begin. This recording will end quietly. Get full access to Pieces of Jim at jimnolan1.substack.com/subscribe

    42 min
  7. Textbook Sleep #13: Rabbit Biology by H.G. Wells

    03/12/2025

    Textbook Sleep #13: Rabbit Biology by H.G. Wells

    Textbook Sleep, the Maximum-Strength Sleep Aid podcast, asks, “what could possibly be duller than a Text-Book of Biology by H.G. Wells? Specifically, the chapter on the biology of a rabbit? Yes, that H.G. Wells—the guy who wrote The War of the Worlds, The Time Machine, and The Island of Doctor Moreau. He was also a biologist. And wrote an entire textbook on the subject. To me, it’s a little less compelling than The Invisible Man and probably didn’t move as many copies, but who knows? At Textbook Sleep, “less compelling” is a good thing. It promises a soothing night’s rest. And—if time allows—we’ll include Wells’ take on the circulation of the dog-fish. In the unlikely event someone listening is still awake, they won’t be for long after that. Let us begin. This recording will end quietly. Get full access to Pieces of Jim at jimnolan1.substack.com/subscribe

    34 min
  8. Textbook Sleep #12: Organic Chemistry

    29/11/2025

    Textbook Sleep #12: Organic Chemistry

    Welcome to Textbook Sleep, the Maximum-Strength Sleep Aid. Tonight’s reading will rapidly render you unconscious. It’s Organic Chemistry, a textbook from 1894 by W.H. Perkin and F. Stanley Kipping. Some find “Orgo” to be a fascinating pathway to a rewarding career, but most of us consider it a subject to be avoided at all costs. There’s no reason to steer clear of it now—it’s incomprehensible complexity will lull you to sleep, even if someone is using a jackhammer in your room. This particular textbook is even more boring than listening to, say, the Periodic Table of the Elements, a Textbook Sleep for another day, perhaps. Let us begin. This recording will end quietly. Get full access to Pieces of Jim at jimnolan1.substack.com/subscribe

    43 min
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About

Fall asleep to the world's dullest textbooks. jimnolan1.substack.com

Information

  • Creator
    Jim Nolan
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    19
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Jim Nolan
  • Show Website
    Textbook Sleep