The Nice Guy Show

Faisal Khokhar, Ari Graff & Chuck Chapman
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The podcast that answers the question, "how do I break free from the Nice Guy Syndrome, so that I never come in last again?" - with hosts Faisal Khokhar, Ari Graff, and Chuck Chapman

  1. 07/11/2025

    The Truth About Incels: It’s Not About Sex

    From Lonely to Angry: Understanding Incels (And How Good Men Lose Their Way)Some men don't start off angry. They start off lonely. Rejected. Invisible. Neglected in childhood.But when the pain festers long enough, it turns into something darker: the incel mindset.In this raw and unflinching episode, Faisal, Chuck, and Ari dive into one of the internet's most controversial subcultures — involuntary celibates (incels). These are men who want relationships but can't get them, and the frustration has curdled into isolation, shame, and sometimes rage.But here's what most people miss: Incels share many traits with Nice Guys. Both crave connection yet fear rejection. Both seek approval from women and feel powerless when they don't get it. The difference? Nice Guys hide their resentment. Incels express it — just not face-to-face.In this episode, we explore:What incels actually are (and why this phenomenon is growing)The mental health crisis: depression, anxiety, and isolationWhy some men didn't procreate throughout history (evolutionary psychology perspective)How the internet created echo chambers that trap lonely menFaisal's powerful story of coaching an incel — and what he learnedThe victim mindset: Why identifying as "involuntarily celibate" keeps you stuckThe "black pill" belief system and incel terminology (Chads, Staceys, and nihilism)How Nice Guys and incels differ: Hope vs. giving upThe generational shift: Why young men aren't pursuing relationships like they used toEconomic reality: When you can't afford independence, relationships feel impossibleChuck's controversial take: Is sex really the answer? (Spoiler: No)Why comparison culture and social media poison your soulThe trap of expecting life to hand you perfectionHow resentment and victimhood become a prisonThe hard truth? Being an incel isn't involuntary. It's a choice to stay stuck in resentment, victimhood, and isolation. There IS a path forward — but it requires rejecting the black pill, doing the work, and choosing growth over bitterness. This isn't about attacking incels. It's about understanding how good men lose their way — and showing them there's another path. One that leads to connection, purpose, and power. If you're stuck, isolated, or angry at the world — this episode is for you.Like. Comment. Subscribe. And share this with someone who needs to know: You're not powerless. You're not doomed. There's a way out.P.S. — Yes, we had technical difficulties with Faisal's internet. Chuck and Ari carried on like champions. And no, Chuck did NOT ruin sex for everyone... or did he?Retry Subscribe to the Nice Guy Show newsletter to get tips and insights on how to lead a high-value life:https://niceguyshow.com/ Connect with Faisal Khokhar:https://masculine.co/https://instagram.com/coachfaisalkhttps://youtube.com/@masculinecharisma Connect with Chuck Chapman: https://chuckchapman.com/https://instagram.com/chuckchapman.ma/ Connect with Dr. Ari Graff:https://drarigraff.com/https://draribgraff.com/register [divorce recovery program]https://youtube.com/@AriGraff

    37 min

  2. 22/10/2025

    How To Overcome Jealousy As A Nice-Guy

    Why Jealousy Destroys Nice Guys (And How to Finally Stop It)You see her laugh at another guy's joke. Your stomach tightens. Your mind spirals. You start checking her phone, stalking her social media, asking the same questions over and over. And then comes the shame.Jealousy doesn't just ruin relationships — it hijacks your entire life. And for Nice Guys? It hits harder than most. In this raw and revealing episode, Faisal, Chuck, and Ari break down the real psychology behind jealousy — why it exists, why Nice Guys struggle with it more intensely, and how to stop letting it sabotage your love life. In this episode, we dive deep into:Why jealousy feels like an emotional prison you can't escapeThe three fractures jealousy exposes: ego, emotional, and sexualReal stories of jealousy gone wrong (including Faisal's polyamory experiment) The dangerous projection: "If I don't trust myself, how can I trust her?"Why trying to control your partner always backfiresThe concept of "compersion" — can you actually rewire jealousy?How polyamory sounds great in theory but rarely works in practiceThe critical mistake: Selecting women with your fractured ego instead of your wise selfWhy Nice Guys pick incompatible partners and then try to change themThe difference between healthy jealousy and destructive obsession (retroactive jealousy OCD) How to know yourself well enough to choose the right partner Here's the truth: Feeling jealous is normal. Even extreme jealousy is a natural response. But what you DO with it determines whether it destroys you — or strengthens you. You can't convince your heart with your mind. You can't logic your way out of jealousy. But you CAN heal the fractures that make you vulnerable to it in the first place. This isn't about becoming emotionless. It's about building the self-security, boundaries, and wisdom to handle jealousy without letting it control you.Whether you're obsessing over her past, spiraling over who she's texting, or trapped in a cycle of control and shame — this episode will help you break free.Stop suffering in silence. It's time to handle this.Like. Comment. Subscribe. And share this with the guy who needs to stop letting jealousy run his life. Subscribe to the Nice Guy Show newsletter to get tips and insights on how to lead a high-value life:https://niceguyshow.com/ Connect with Faisal Khokhar:https://masculine.co/https://instagram.com/coachfaisalkhttps://youtube.com/@coachfaisalk Connect with Chuck Chapman: https://chuckchapman.com/https://instagram.com/chuckchapman.ma/ Connect with Dr. Ari Graff:https://drarigraff.com/https://draribgraff.com/register [divorce recovery program]https://youtube.com/@AriGraff

    36 min

  3. 22/10/2025

    Is It Bad To Be A Man? Criticizing Masculinity

    Is It Dangerous to Be a Man? Why Masculinity Gets Criticized Instead of CelebratedA coal miner shows up to his son's basketball game still covered in soot. He rushed straight from work to keep his promise. The photo goes viral — but not for the reason you'd think.Instead of celebrating his dedication, the internet tears him apart. "Performative masculinity." "Virtue signaling." "He could've washed his face."And that's when it hit us: No matter what a man does, someone will find a way to criticize it.In this powerful conversation, Chuck, Faisal, and Ari unpack one of the most uncomfortable truths of modern masculinity: being a man feels like walking through a minefield of judgment, shame, and cancel culture.In this episode, we explore:Why showing up as yourself can get you canceledThe difference between how masculine and feminine energy "destroys" — and why it mattersHow growing up in the feminist era made men feel guilty for being menWhy "mansplaining" and similar terms are designed to disempowerThe schoolyard mentality of men vs. women hatred — and how to rise above itWhat happens when you own your flaws instead of apologizing for themHow to develop thick skin in a world that loves tearing people downWhy empowering men doesn't come at women's expenseThe truth? When men feel disempowered, nobody wins. Not men. Not women. Not society.This isn't about playing victim. It's about standing up, owning who you are (flaws included), and refusing to collapse under criticism. It's about building connection instead of division.Whether you're tired of walking on eggshells, struggling with shame about your masculinity, or just trying to figure out how to be a good man in a world that constantly tells you you're doing it wrong — this episode is for you.It's time to stop apologizing for being a man.Like. Comment. Subscribe. And share this with the guy who needs permission to stand tall.Retry Connect with Faisal Khokhar:https://masculine.co/https://5fractures.com/https://www.instagram.com/masculinecharisma/ Connect with Chuck Chapman: www.youtube.com/@chuckchapmanhttps://www.chuckchapman.com/https://www.instagram.com/chuckchapman.ma/ Connect with Dr. Ari Graff:https://drarigraff.com/www.youtube.com/@AriGraff

    46 min

  4. 22/10/2025

    Is AI Making Nice Guys Weaker?

    You're on a date. She says something unexpected. You freeze. Your brain goes blank. So you excuse yourself to the bathroom… and ask ChatGPT what to say next.​Sound familiar?​In this raw and thought-provoking episode, Ari, Faisal, and Chuck dive into the complicated relationship between AI and masculinity. From flirty texts written by algorithms to essays no one remembers writing, we explore a dangerous new trend: cognitive debt.​In this episode, we tackle:Why ChatGPT might be killing your creativity (and your dating life)The hidden cost of letting AI do your thinking for youHow AI responses are trained on feminine narratives — and what that means for menThe difference between using AI as a tool vs. becoming dependent on itWhy your brain literally gets weaker when you outsource hard thinkingThe future of relationships: Will men marry AI companions?How to stay sharp, authentic, and "chocolate" (not lettuce) in a world of artificial intelligence The uncomfortable truth? AI can make you look smarter in the short term — but it's eroding your self-worth, your memory, and your ability to handle real-life tension. And when you finally show up in person? She'll know something's off. Whether you're a Nice Guy struggling with authenticity, an entrepreneur leaning too hard on AI, or just someone wondering if technology is helping or hurting — this conversation will challenge you. It's time to reclaim your brain. Your creativity. Your edge. Like. Comment. Subscribe. And share this with the guy who needs to put down ChatGPT and pick up a pen.​Subscribe to the Nice Guy Show newsletter to get tips and insights on how to lead a high-value life:https://niceguyshow.com/​Connect with Faisal Khokhar:https://masculine.co/https://instagram.com/coachfaisalkhttps://youtube.com/@coachfaisalk​Connect with Chuck Chapman: https://chuckchapman.com/https://instagram.com/chuckchapman.ma/​Connect with Dr. Ari Graff:https://drarigraff.com/https://draribgraff.com/register [divorce recovery program]https://youtube.com/@AriGraff

    51 min

  5. 22/10/2025

    What Do Women Bring To The Table?

    Ever caught yourself asking "What do women even bring to the table?" or heard women firing back with "What do men bring?" If you're asking either question, this episode is for you. Faisal, Ari, and Chuck dive deep into the mindset behind these toxic questions — and more importantly, how to shift from scarcity thinking to abundance in relationships. They get brutally honest about their own dark periods: failed marriages, emotional hostage situations, trauma bonding, and the wounds that kept them stuck in victim mode. Here's what we unpack:The psychology behind "what do you bring to the table" thinking (spoiler: it's rooted in pain and immaturity) How unhealed wounds sabotage every relationship you enter Why most people enter relationships from deficit instead of wholeness  The difference between being needy vs. being whole and self-sufficient What healthy women actually do bring: beauty, nurturing, social connection, aesthetic sense What conscious men bring: leadership, protection, direction, emotional stability The "garden metaphor" — how to tend your relationship instead of just taking from it This isn't about gender wars or pickup artist nonsense. It's about doing the inner work so you can actually appreciate what others offer instead of keeping score like a wounded child. Whether you're bitter from divorce, struggling in your current relationship, or single and cynical — this conversation will challenge you to look in the mirror first. Because until you heal your own wounds and show up whole, you'll keep attracting the same dysfunction. Time to stop asking what others bring to the table and start asking what kind of person you're becoming.

    52 min

  6. 22/09/2025

    Are Nice Guys Chronic Defenders?

    She gives you feedback. Your wife makes a simple request. Maybe she expresses disappointment. And before she even finishes her sentence, you're already building your defense case like a trial lawyer. Sound familiar?In this raw and revealing episode, Chuck, Ari, and Faisal dive deep into one of the most relationship-damaging patterns Nice Guys fall into: chronic defensiveness.  We explore:Why your nervous system goes into overdrive the moment you hear criticismThe difference between legitimate complaints and character attacks — and why we hear them wrongHow defensiveness kills connection, intimacy, and attraction faster than almost anything elseThe childhood wounds that turn grown men into automatic defendersWhy your need to be "right" is sabotaging your relationshipsPractical embodiment techniques to regulate your nervous system in the momentThe skill of curiosity over defensiveness — and how it changes everythingWhen defensiveness becomes maladaptive and starts destroying your love lifeChuck shares a real-time example of catching his own defensiveness in action. Faisal reveals how he transformed a potentially relationship-damaging text exchange using these principles. And Ari breaks down the mature masculine response that creates connection instead of conflict. Whether you're constantly explaining yourself, find yourself in endless arguments, or feel like nothing you do is ever good enough — this episode will help you break the cycle. It's time to stop defending and start connecting. Subscribe to the Nice Guy Show newsletter to get tips and insights on how to lead a high-value lifehttps://niceguyshow.com/ Connect with Faisal Khokhar:https://masculine.co/https://instagram.com/coachfaisalkhttps://youtube.com/@coachfaisalk Connect with Chuck Chapman: https://chuckchapman.com/https://instagram.com/chuckchapman.ma/htttps://youtube.com/@chuckchapman Connect with Dr. Ari Graff:https://drarigraff.com/https://draribgraff.com/register [divorce recovery program]https://youtube.com/@AriGraff

    1h 3m

  7. 15/09/2025

    Should I Date Single Mothers?

    Should you date single moms? It's the question that divides the manosphere — and maybe your dating life.In this raw and honest episode, Faisal, Chuck, and Ari dive into one of modern dating's most controversial topics. No sugar-coating. No political correctness. Just three divorced dads sharing hard-earned wisdom about navigating the single parent dating world.In this episode, we explore:The brutal truth about why single moms might be "easier" to date (and why that's a trap)How Nice Guys become unwilling ATMs and unpaid babysittersWhen to introduce your kids — and the red flags that scream "run"Why choosing the path of least resistance destroys your dating confidenceThe difference between being a white knight rescuer vs. a conscious partnerHow single parenthood can reveal character — or expose major red flagsWhy some men should absolutely avoid dating single moms (and who they are)This isn't about shaming single mothers. It's about helping men make conscious choices instead of falling into Nice Guy traps that leave everyone miserable.Whether you're a single dad wondering about your own dating value, a man considering dating a single mom, or someone who's been burned by taking the "easy" path — this conversation will challenge everything you think you know about modern dating.The bottom line: There are no shortcuts to building real confidence and relationship skills. And the choices you make in dating reveal everything about the man you're becoming.Like. Comment. Subscribe. And share this with the man who needs to stop settling for scraps.  Subscribe to the Nice Guy Show newsletter to get tips and insights on how to lead a high-value life:https://niceguyshow.com/ Connect with Faisal Khokhar:https://masculine.co/https://instagram.com/coachfaisalkhttps://youtube.com/@coachfaisalk Connect with Chuck Chapman: https://chuckchapman.com/https://instagram.com/chuckchapman.ma/ Connect with Dr. Ari Graff:https://drarigraff.com/https://draribgraff.com/register [divorce recovery program]https://youtube.com/@AriGraff

    53 min

  8. 12/09/2025

    Am I Raising A Nice Guy?

    Every parent fears they're screwing up their kids. But as a Nice Guy coach with a 10-year-old son, Ari faces a chilling realization: What if he's accidentally raising the next generation of people-pleasers? In this raw and honest conversation, Ari, Faisal, and Chuck dig into the hardest parenting questions: How do you tell the difference between kindness and people-pleasing in kids? What are the early warning signs of Nice Guy syndrome showing up in your child? Are you accidentally modeling the very behaviors you're trying to prevent?When does "being a good parent" cross the line into codependency?How do you teach resilience without crushing their spirit? The difference between pushing your kids and projecting your childhood wounds onto themFrom jump rope tests and Taekwondo black belts to bedtime phone rules and dirty uniforms, this episode tackles the messy reality of conscious parenting. We explore the fine line between protecting our kids and preparing them for real life. Whether you're a parent worried about raising resilient children, a recovering Nice Guy navigating fatherhood, or someone trying to understand how these patterns form — this conversation will challenge everything you think you know about "good parenting." Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is let them struggle.Like. Comment. Subscribe. And share this with the parent who's brave enough to ask the hard questions.

    1h 22m
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About

The podcast that answers the question, "how do I break free from the Nice Guy Syndrome, so that I never come in last again?" - with hosts Faisal Khokhar, Ari Graff, and Chuck Chapman

Information

  • Creator
    Faisal Khokhar, Ari Graff & Chuck Chapman
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2025
  • Episodes
    124
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Faisal Khokhar Ari Graff & Chuck Chapman
  • Show Website
    The Nice Guy Show