Long Distance, Bit Weird

Michael Balazo and Sooz Kempner
  • 4.2 (5)
  • COMEDY INTERVIEWS
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Comedians and long-distance lovers Sooz Kempner (Doctor Who’s Doom’s Day, Dinner With the Parents) and Michael Balazo (Schitt’s Creek, Evil Men) live on different continents. Seeing as they spend hours each day talking on FaceTime, they thought they might as well start a podcast and monetize their relationship. Each week, Sooz and Michael talk to a comedian guest friend from Britain or Canada about life, love and weird stuff.

  1. 1 DAY AGO

    E14: A Fun History of Squatting in Britain

    Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, the new podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. It's a nice moment for the Commonwealth. This week, Sooz tells Michael about the history of squatting in Britain. Until 2012, you could legally occupy an unused building for FREE. As in, zero money. This situation allowed activists, artists, hippies, punks and others on the fringes of society to live for free while pursuing their work. Squatting has roots tracing back to the 14th century, when peasants attempted to occupy unused land owned by the aristocracy. Post WWII, returning soldiers with nowhere to live started occupying empty buildings, which inspired/forced the government to build social housing. It took until the 21st century for nervous landlords and the government to finally end squatting, once and for all. BUT FIRST: a terrifying story about staying in a beautiful home with a carpeted bathroom. PLUS: another exciting edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News," in which we read genuine letters written to a pub. NOTE: this episode was recored live at a Travelodge in London, UK. At 31:05, a man in the neighbouring room banged on the wall because we were being too good at podcasting. *** If you like what you hear, you can support Long Distance, Bit Weird on Patreon. Subscribers will get early access to episodes, bonus content and special surprises. In fact, you can watch classic British animated film Watership Down AND the bonkers Canadian documentary Project Grizzly in FULL right now with witty/sweary commentary from Sooz and Michael.  *** Sooz is performing at the Two Brewers in foggy Londontown on March 29. Get your tickets HERE!

    1h 1m

  2. 6 MAR

    E13: Wayne Gretzky with John Semley

    Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, the new podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. But tell that to someone and they won't believe you. This week Sooz and Michael welcome writer John Semley to the show to talk about the meaning of Wayne Gretzky at this particular moment in history. What do the Great One's MAGA inclinations mean for Canada? Has he tarnished his reputation and betrayed the Great White North? Furthermore, should the CBC make more movies about his father, Walter Gretzky? Tune in to find out! BUT FIRST: Sooz tells a harrowing cat story (trigger warning: diarrhea) and Michael pitches some ideas to bring Lolita into the 21st century. PLUS: another exciting edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News," in which we read genuine letters written to a pub. Follow John Semley on Twitter and Bluesky. *** If you like what you hear, you can support Long Distance, Bit Weird on Patreon. Subscribers will get early access to episodes, bonus content and special surprises. In fact, you can watch classic British animated film Watership Down AND the bonkers Canadian documentary Project Grizzly in FULL right now with witty/sweary commentary from Sooz and Michael.  *** Sooz is performing at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern in foggy Londontown on March 8. Get your tickets HERE!

    1h 26m

  3. 27 FEB

    E12: The UNCENSORED History of the Sunday Roast

    Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, the new podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. It's like something out of a humorous film. This week Sooz tells Michael the gravy-sodden history of the Sunday Roast, which goes all the way back to the reign of Henry VII in the 15th century. Which type of roast is the best? Is bread sauce nice? Should you eat six pounds of meat a week? Listen to find out! BUT FIRST: Sooz talks about what happened at her Nanna's funeral, Michael reveals how difficult it is to be seen in public with the copy of Lolita that Sooz gave him for Christmas, and we do another exciting edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News," in which we read genuine letters written to a pub. *** If you like what you hear, you can support Long Distance, Bit Weird on Patreon. Subscribers will get early access to episodes, bonus content and special surprises. In fact, you can watch classic British animated film Watership Down AND the bonkers Canadian documentary Project Grizzly in FULL right now with witty/sweary commentary from Sooz and Michael.  *** Sooz is performing at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern in foggy Londontown on March 8. Get your tickets HERE!

    59 min

  4. 20 FEB

    E11: Canadian Heritage Minutes with Graham Clark

    Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, the new podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. Oops! This week Sooz and Michael welcome comedian and podcaster Graham Clark to the show to talk about Canadian Heritage Minutes, a series of sixty-second short films that aired during commercial breaks in the 1990s. While Heritage Minutes tried to create a shared sense of Canadian national pride, their cheap production values and weird acting often undermined this noble aim.  PLUS: another edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News," in which we read genuine letters written to a pub. Be sure to check out Graham on the long-running Stop Podcasting Yourself. *** If you like what you hear, you can support Long Distance, Bit Weird on Patreon. Subscribers will get early access to episodes, bonus content and special surprises. In fact, you can watch classic British animated film Watership Down AND the bonkers Canadian documentary Project Grizzly in FULL right now with witty/sweary commentary from Sooz and Michael.

    1h 25m

  5. 13 FEB

    E10: Red Dwarf with Chris Stokes

    Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, the new podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. Which is illegal. This week Sooz and Michael welcome comedian and writer Chris Stokes on board to talk about the cult British sci-fi sitcom Red Dwarf. We discuss the show's high points, occasional missteps and the American version that (thankfully) never was.  PLUS: Sooz gossips about the Winter Olympics. AND another edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News," in which we read genuine letters written to a pub. Check out chrisstokescomedy.com for Chris' live dates and more! *** If you like what you hear, you can support Long Distance, Bit Weird on Patreon. Subscribers will get early access to episodes, bonus content and special surprises. In fact, you can watch classic British animated film Watership Down AND the bonkers Canadian documentary Project Grizzly in FULL right now with witty/sweary commentary from Sooz and Michael.

    1h 33m

  6. 6 FEB

    E09: Sooz & Michael LIVE from a Travelodge!

    Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird--the new podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. But HOW??? This week Sooz and Michael are making podcast history by recording an episode LIVE from the Gatwick airport Travelodge. Is this some kind of funny joke? No. It's because this episode is about an issue that many long-distance couples face: staying in budget hotels to save money. From Travelodges to Premier Inns to Airbnbs and subterranean hotels in central London, Sooz and Michael spill the beans on what it's like to build a relationship while sleeping in rooms where the toilet is right beside the bed. PLUS: Sooz and Michael talk about an unforgettable birthday trip up the Shard. PLUS ALSO: another edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News," in which we read genuine letters written to a pub. *** If you like what you hear, you can support Long Distance, Bit Weird on Patreon. Subscribers will get early access to episodes, bonus content and special surprises. In fact, you can watch classic British animated film Watership Down AND the bonkers Canadian documentary Project Grizzly in FULL right now with witty/sweary commentary from Sooz and Michael.

    57 min

  7. 30 JAN

    E08: Afternoon Tea & a bit of Panto with Lucy Frederick

    Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird--the new podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. Thank you. This week Sooz and Michael welcome comedian and writer Lucy Frederick to talk about the uniquely British phenomenon of afternoon tea. When did it begin? Should you have some? Should there be mice around when it is served? Lucy also talks a bit about panto, leading to a discussion of funny panto bloopers. PLUS: another edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News," in which we read genuine letters written to a pub. Be sure to follow Lucy on Instagram. *** If you like what you hear, you can support Long Distance, Bit Weird on Patreon. Subscribers will get early access to episodes, bonus content and special surprises. In fact, you can watch classic British animated film Watership Down AND the bonkers Canadian documentary Project Grizzly in FULL right now with witty/sweary commentary from Sooz and Michael.  *** Sooz is performing a fundraiser in foggy Londontown on January 30th at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern. Get your £10 tickets to An Evening with Sooz Kempner here.

    1h 8m

  8. 23 JAN

    E07: Terrible Canadians in America & Page 3 Girls with Jordan Foisy

    Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird--the new podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. SOMEONE GIVE THEM A NOBEL PEACE PRIZE. This week Sooz and Michael welcome comedian and writer Jordan Foisy to the show to talk about the bizarre phenomenon of Canadian right-wing influencers who have sought fame and fortune in the United States. We're talking Professor Jordan Peterson, Steven Crowder, Gavin McInnes and A FEW MORE. PLUS: Sooz blows Jordan's mind by telling him about Page 3 girls, and Michael presents yet another edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News," in which we read genuine letters written to a pub. Be sure to follow Jordan on Instagram. *** If you like what you hear, you can support Long Distance, Bit Weird on Patreon. Subscribers will get early access to episodes, bonus content and special surprises. In fact, you can watch classic British animated film Watership Down AND the bonkers Canadian documentary Project Grizzly in FULL right now with witty/sweary commentary from Sooz and Michael.  *** Sooz is performing a fundraiser in foggy Londontown on January 30th at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern. Get your £10 tickets to An Evening with Sooz Kempner here.

    1h 28m
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Trailer

Ratings & Reviews

4.2
out of 5
5 Ratings

About

Comedians and long-distance lovers Sooz Kempner (Doctor Who’s Doom’s Day, Dinner With the Parents) and Michael Balazo (Schitt’s Creek, Evil Men) live on different continents. Seeing as they spend hours each day talking on FaceTime, they thought they might as well start a podcast and monetize their relationship. Each week, Sooz and Michael talk to a comedian guest friend from Britain or Canada about life, love and weird stuff.

Information

  • Creator
    Michael Balazo and Sooz Kempner
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    15
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2025 All rights reserved.
  • Show Website
    Long Distance, Bit Weird

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