Long Distance, Bit Weird

Michael Balazo and Sooz Kempner
  • 4.3 (6)
  • COMEDY INTERVIEWS
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Comedians and long-distance lovers Sooz Kempner (Doctor Who’s Doom’s Day, Dinner With the Parents) and Michael Balazo (Schitt’s Creek, Evil Men) live on different continents. Seeing as they spend hours each day talking on FaceTime, they thought they might as well start a podcast and monetize their relationship. Each week, Sooz and Michael talk to a comedian guest friend from Britain or Canada about life, love and weird stuff.

  1. 22 HR AGO

    E18: We Heart Flags - The Sexy Origins of the Union Flag & the Maple Leaf

    Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. Haha. This week's episode is a major treat for flag fans, as Sooz and Michael tell the shocking and sexy stories behind the Union Flag and the noble Maple Leaf. Feel free to salute while listening. BUT FIRST: a frank discussion about the Artemis II space mission's malfunctioning toilet. PLUS: another exciting edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News," in which we read genuine letters written to a damn pub. *** If you like what you hear, you can support Long Distance, Bit Weird on Patreon. Subscribers will get early access to episodes, bonus content and special surprises. In fact, you can watch classic British animated film Watership Down AND the bonkers Canadian documentary Project Grizzly in FULL right now with witty/sweary commentary from Sooz and Michael.  *** TORONTO, CANADA! Michael's podcast Evil Men is recording a live show on April 10 at Comedy Bar on Bloor Street. Get your tickets HERE! BATH, UK! Sooz is doing a work in progress performance of her standup show Imposter at the Bath Comedy Festival on April 18. Get your tickets HERE!

    1hr 3min

  2. 2 APR

    E17: Pierre Trudeau - Canada's Horniest Prime Minister

    Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. Cowabunga, dude. This week, Michael tells Sooz all about late Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau's insane/glamorous love life. From beauty queens to actresses to singers and even teenagers, Swinging Pierre dated or married them all! He was a man who truly loved to honk and bonk. BUT FIRST: Sooz tricks Michael with the ultimate April Fool's prank. PLUS: another exciting edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News," in which we read genuine letters written to a damn pub. *** If you like what you hear, you can support Long Distance, Bit Weird on Patreon. Subscribers will get early access to episodes, bonus content and special surprises. In fact, you can watch classic British animated film Watership Down AND the bonkers Canadian documentary Project Grizzly in FULL right now with witty/sweary commentary from Sooz and Michael.  *** BATH, UK! Sooz is doing a work in progress performance of her standup show Imposter at the Bath Comedy Festival on April 18. Get your tickets HERE! TORONTO, CANADA! Michael's podcast Evil Men is recording a live show on April 10 at Comedy Bar on Bloor Street. Get your tickets HERE!

    1hr 20min

  3. 30 MAR

    *PREVIEW* Bonus Ep.03 - Sex Column SPECTACTULAR!

    In this week's bonus episode, Sooz reads Michael a selection of NOT VERY EROTIC sex columns from Britain's free METRO newspaper. OOH, SEX! If you want to hear more, you can get the whole episode on Patreon here!

    11 min

  4. 27 MAR

    E16: The Rise and Fall of British Seaside Resorts

    Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. It's like something out of sci-fi. This week, Sooz sits Michael down and tells him about the glorious rise and regrettable fall of the British Seaside town. In the 18th and 19th centuries, coastal towns like Brighton, Southend-on-Sea and Blackpool became fashionable vacation spots for the wealthy. As the railroad expanded and workers were granted time off, these towns became accessible to all. Business was booming! But after WWII, the emergence of cheap commercial air travel combined with fascist Spain's eagerness for tourism signalled the beginning of the end of the seaside town. It's like the most depressing Beach Boys song ever written. BUT FIRST: Sooz finds out about the jaw surgery that's popular with looksmaxxers and Michael talks about melodramatic songs written by teens. PLUS: another exciting edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News," in which we read genuine letters written to a damn pub. *** If you like what you hear, you can support Long Distance, Bit Weird on Patreon. Subscribers will get early access to episodes, bonus content and special surprises. In fact, you can watch classic British animated film Watership Down AND the bonkers Canadian documentary Project Grizzly in FULL right now with witty/sweary commentary from Sooz and Michael.  *** LONDON! Sooz is performing at the Two Brewers in foggy Londontown on March 29. Get your tickets HERE! BATH! Sooz is doing a work in progress performance of her standup show Imposter at the Bath Comedy Festival on April 18. Get your tickets HERE! TORONTO! Michael's podcast Evil Men is recording a live show on April 10 at Comedy Bar on Bloor Street. Get your tickets HERE!

    1hr 13min

  5. 20 MAR

    E15: UK Lifestyle with Masud Milas

    Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, the new podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. And the police can’t do a thing about it. This week, Sooz and Michael welcome comedian Masud Milas aboard to talk about what it was like to move to the UK after growing up in both Hong Kong and New Zealand. Masud also opens up about dating a Bulgarian woman, having a Hungarian flatmate, hanging out with pickup artists and drinking bad ale.   Be sure to follow Masud on Instagram! BUT FIRST: Sooz recaps some recent shows in Southend-on-Sea and London’s Queer Comedy Club. PLUS: another exciting edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News," in which we read genuine letters written to a damn pub. *** If you like what you hear, you can support Long Distance, Bit Weird on Patreon. Subscribers will get early access to episodes, bonus content and special surprises. In fact, you can watch classic British animated film Watership Down AND the bonkers Canadian documentary Project Grizzly in FULL right now with witty/sweary commentary from Sooz and Michael.  *** Sooz is performing at the Two Brewers in foggy Londontown on March 29. Get your tickets HERE!

    1hr 28min

  6. 13 MAR

    E14: A Fun History of Squatting in Britain

    Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, the new podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. It's a nice moment for the Commonwealth. This week, Sooz tells Michael about the history of squatting in Britain. Until 2012, you could legally occupy an unused building for FREE. As in, zero money. This situation allowed activists, artists, hippies, punks and others on the fringes of society to live for free while pursuing their work. Squatting has roots tracing back to the 14th century, when peasants attempted to occupy unused land owned by the aristocracy. Post WWII, returning soldiers with nowhere to live started occupying empty buildings, which inspired/forced the government to build social housing. It took until the 21st century for nervous landlords and the government to finally end squatting, once and for all. BUT FIRST: a terrifying story about staying in a beautiful home with a carpeted bathroom. PLUS: another exciting edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News," in which we read genuine letters written to a pub. NOTE: this episode was recored live at a Travelodge in London, UK. At 31:05, a man in the neighbouring room banged on the wall because we were being too good at podcasting. *** If you like what you hear, you can support Long Distance, Bit Weird on Patreon. Subscribers will get early access to episodes, bonus content and special surprises. In fact, you can watch classic British animated film Watership Down AND the bonkers Canadian documentary Project Grizzly in FULL right now with witty/sweary commentary from Sooz and Michael.  *** Sooz is performing at the Two Brewers in foggy Londontown on March 29. Get your tickets HERE!

    1hr 1min

  7. 6 MAR

    E13: Wayne Gretzky with John Semley

    Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, the new podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. But tell that to someone and they won't believe you. This week Sooz and Michael welcome writer John Semley to the show to talk about the meaning of Wayne Gretzky at this particular moment in history. What do the Great One's MAGA inclinations mean for Canada? Has he tarnished his reputation and betrayed the Great White North? Furthermore, should the CBC make more movies about his father, Walter Gretzky? Tune in to find out! BUT FIRST: Sooz tells a harrowing cat story (trigger warning: diarrhea) and Michael pitches some ideas to bring Lolita into the 21st century. PLUS: another exciting edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News," in which we read genuine letters written to a pub. Follow John Semley on Twitter and Bluesky. *** If you like what you hear, you can support Long Distance, Bit Weird on Patreon. Subscribers will get early access to episodes, bonus content and special surprises. In fact, you can watch classic British animated film Watership Down AND the bonkers Canadian documentary Project Grizzly in FULL right now with witty/sweary commentary from Sooz and Michael.  *** Sooz is performing at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern in foggy Londontown on March 8. Get your tickets HERE!

    1hr 26min

  8. 27 FEB

    E12: The UNCENSORED History of the Sunday Roast

    Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, the new podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. It's like something out of a humorous film. This week Sooz tells Michael the gravy-sodden history of the Sunday Roast, which goes all the way back to the reign of Henry VII in the 15th century. Which type of roast is the best? Is bread sauce nice? Should you eat six pounds of meat a week? Listen to find out! BUT FIRST: Sooz talks about what happened at her Nanna's funeral, Michael reveals how difficult it is to be seen in public with the copy of Lolita that Sooz gave him for Christmas, and we do another exciting edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News," in which we read genuine letters written to a pub. *** If you like what you hear, you can support Long Distance, Bit Weird on Patreon. Subscribers will get early access to episodes, bonus content and special surprises. In fact, you can watch classic British animated film Watership Down AND the bonkers Canadian documentary Project Grizzly in FULL right now with witty/sweary commentary from Sooz and Michael.  *** Sooz is performing at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern in foggy Londontown on March 8. Get your tickets HERE!

    59 min
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Trailer

Ratings & Reviews

4.3
out of 5
6 Ratings

About

Comedians and long-distance lovers Sooz Kempner (Doctor Who’s Doom’s Day, Dinner With the Parents) and Michael Balazo (Schitt’s Creek, Evil Men) live on different continents. Seeing as they spend hours each day talking on FaceTime, they thought they might as well start a podcast and monetize their relationship. Each week, Sooz and Michael talk to a comedian guest friend from Britain or Canada about life, love and weird stuff.

Information

  • Creator
    Michael Balazo and Sooz Kempner
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    20
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2025 All rights reserved.
  • Show Website
    Long Distance, Bit Weird

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