unfertility Noni Martins

In this episode I speak with Kurayi, an IVF & infertility advocate who is passionate about breaking the stigma associated with infertility and raising awareness about infertility one conversation at a time. And this was one big conversation indeed! An interesting fact is that I knew of Kurayi before I knew Kurayi herself. 2 people mentioned her to me a while ago when I posted in my stories asking whether there were other Zimbabweans going through the same thing as me. It was only much later that I realised Kurayi was the person the 2 people had mentioned and honestly she is kindred spirit and I’m so glad our paths merged. I also got to meet her person in December last year which was so affirming and I can honestly say I consider her a friend now. I say all this to hopefully explain why this episode is longer than the others - even my colleague who edits the episodes couldn’t trim it down any further and she was like I think it should all be in there, just two friends talking. I also have to add that Kurayi is a very mad person and she is so funny - this episode is full of LOL moments. You can connect with Kurayi on Instagram @ivfsouthafrica.

Episode 13 | Final episode of the year! In this episode I am back to close the year with some thoughts on what I wanted for Christmas (but didn’t get) and what I am grateful for instead. For months I have been so focussed on the bad that I lost sight of all the good that has happened to me this year. The festive season is such a challenging time for us but cue Kendrick Lamar, WE GON’ BE ALRIGHT! And though it may not always feel like it, this entire experience is turning us into who we need to be. That is both wonderful and excruciating, but SO necessary. And it manifests into all the other parts of our lives too.

Thank you to everyone who has supported me in my first year of podcasting! One thing I am hugely grateful for. All my love & all of the Light(s)

In this 2-part episode I speak with Yvonne - a British author and activist for Childless women of colour. She wrote her book out of the anger she and the other childless women felt, who were not being heard or listened to by the circles they found themselves in. ‘Dreaming of a Life Unlived: Intimate Stories and Portraits of Women Without Children’, was conceived out of love and understanding and born to give women like her the permission to unashamedly own their stories. Yvonne is a leading voice for women of colour’s experience around infertility, as well as an advocate for creating an inclusive space for black women and women of colour to openly talk about their childless journey. While our journeys are not the same, I had so many takeaways from unpacking the infertility & childless experience with Yvonne and I honestly felt like a daughter listening to her mother’s life experiences and the lessons from all of it. Not to mention that it also felt like looking in the mirror both of us; black women with short, coloured hair, big smiles, big personalities, a bit unconventional… infertility aside, I felt so seen and affirmed by your spirit Yvonne – that it’s okay to be misunderstood especially culturally because authenticity is everything. For anyone who is childless and wondering where to find support, Yvonne is a licensed facilitator of a global network for childless women called Gateway Women. And her book is available on Amazon. You can connect with her on Instagram @y.vonnej or via her website.

In this 2-part episode I speak with Yvonne - a British author and activist for Childless women of colour. She wrote her book out of the anger she and the other childless women felt, who were not being heard or listened to by the circles they found themselves in. ‘Dreaming of a Life Unlived: Intimate Stories and Portraits of Women Without Children’, was conceived out of love and understanding and born to give women like her the permission to unashamedly own their stories. Yvonne is a leading voice for women of colour’s experience around infertility, as well as an advocate for creating an inclusive space for black women and women of colour to openly talk about their childless journey. While our journeys are not the same, I had so many takeaways from unpacking the infertility & childless experience with Yvonne and I honestly felt like a daughter listening to her mother’s life experiences and the lessons from all of it. Not to mention that it also felt like looking in the mirror both of us; black women with short, coloured hair, big smiles, big personalities, a bit unconventional… infertility aside, I felt so seen and affirmed by your spirit Yvonne – that it’s okay to be misunderstood especially culturally because authenticity is everything. For anyone who is childless and wondering where to find support, Yvonne is a licensed facilitator of a global network for childless women called Gateway Women. And her book is available on Amazon. You can connect with her on Instagram @y.vonnej or via her website.

I am back with another episode of my own story and general catchup about my/our journey so far and how I'm dealing with the break of IVF. Over the last few weeks, Solange's song 'Cranes in the Sky' has taken a whole new meaning for me. "I tried to drink it away. I tried to put one in the air. I tried to dance it away. I tried to change it with my hair. I ran my credit card bill up. Thought a new dress would make it better. I tried to work it away. But that just made me even sadder. I tried to keep myself busy. I ran around in circles. Think I made myself dizzy. I slept it away, I sexed it away. I read it away. It's like cranes in the sky. Sometimes I don't wanna feel those metal clouds. Yeah it's like cranes in the sky. Sometimes I don't wanna feel those metal clouds". 

In an effort to not deal with my grief, I have done all these things. Solange explained the meaning of the song as this excessive building up, and not really dealing with what was in front of us - and the same rings true for the recently resurfaced wave of PTSD I'm currently going through which has been building up for a while now. I'm keen to know how you guys cope with the grief of failed embryo transfers and the general grief of a life NOT as you imagined it?

In this episode I speak with Dr Belinda Coker - the founder and CEO of Your Trusted Squad. Belinda has been a medical doctor for almost 20 years, initially training in women's health before becoming a GP. She is an executive medical director with extensive experience in virtual healthcare, quality, compliance, patient safety, and patient experience. It was Belinda’s experience of infertility and repeated miscarriages that led her to start Your Trusted Squad. Your Trusted Squad provides health information on fertility health and wellness and earlier this year launched the boutique fertility concierge service, that navigates women through their infertility treatment with discreet, personal, holistic, bespoke 121 coaching and concierge support. You can connect with her on Instagram @yourtrustedsquad and via her website.