Hakeem Bourne Mcfarlane Speaker, coach, and storyteller blending humor, raw truth, and accountability. I bring real-life lessons, uncomfortable honesty, and practical frameworks that challenge listeners to choose themselves. I speak from the space between who I was forced to become and who I chose to build. My work, my voice, and the Choose Yourself philosophy were not born from inspiration... they were forged through collapse, addiction, loss of identity, and the slow, humbling work of rebuilding a life from the ground up. I didn’t wake up one day motivated. I woke up tired of repeating the same pain with better excuses. That’s where everything changed. Choose Yourself to Be Chosen is not a slogan. It’s a survival principle. It’s the realization that no relationship, opportunity, calling, or sense of peace can stabilize a life that lacks internal structure. I learned (often times the hard way) that self-love without self-discipline becomes self-deception, and discipline without compassion becomes self-punishment. The work lives in the balance. On podcasts and shows I don’t offer shortcuts.. I offer systems for action and accountability. We talk about accountability in a way that doesn’t shame, but also doesn’t enable. I speak openly about addiction not just substances, but addiction to chaos, validation, numbing, drama, productivity, and being needed. We unpack how many people mistake intensity for purpose, stimulation for fulfillment, and freedom for a lack of structure. I walk listeners through the Choose Yourself process... not as theory, but as lived experience and a relatable format for all to begin their journey with their next choice! It starts with recognizing trigger points. The moments you feel reactive, defensive, avoidant, or restless aren’t flaws, they’re signals. Most people numb them but I learned to study them. Triggers are not enemies.. they are doorways into unhealed patterns and misaligned environments. Triggers are signal for change not retreat. From there, we evaluate environment. Not just people but food, media, routines, conversations, consumption, sleep, noise, expectations. Your nervous system is always responding to something and if you don’t choose your inputs, your outputs will never feel like “you.” I share how changing my environment changed my identity faster than any affirmation ever could. Then comes foundation. The center piece of all transformation. This is where most transformation talk gets vague but I make it practical. Foundation is not motivation... It’s the non-negotiables. Wake times. Movement. Stillness. Nutrition. Digital boundaries. Morning structure. Evening shutdowns. The boring things that save your life quietly. I explain how discipline became my nervous system’s safety net, not its prison. Self-investment follows but not just money... invesment of attention, effort, time, energy and honesty. I talk about the seasons where investing in myself meant saying no to comfort, approval, and distraction. Where it meant choosing growth over familiarity, structure over spontaneity, and long-term integrity over short-term relief. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
