The Estranged Heart

The Estranged Heart

Support and community for navigating the emotional storms of parent and adult child estrangement and repairing and transforming relationships with one another in healthy and productive ways.

  1. 2 GG FA

    EP236: I Did Nothing Wrong

    In this episode of The Estranged Heart, Kreed explores one of the most common and most misunderstood narratives in parent–adult child estrangement: blaming an in-law. When a parent says, “My child was always close to me until they married,” it often reflects not denial or malice, but a nervous system trying to survive unbearable loss. Kreed gently unpacks why certainty feels safer than curiosity in estrangement, how innocence claims can function as self-protection, and why scapegoating a spouse quietly removes the adult child’s agency making repair impossible. This episode invites estranged parents to move beyond blame without collapsing into shame, and to explore how grief, identity loss, and unexamined closeness shape the stories we tell when relationships fracture. TAKEAWAYS Blaming an in-law often protects parents from overwhelming grief - but it also freezes the story and blocks healing. “I did nothing wrong” is frequently a trauma response, not a refusal to reflect. Repair becomes possible only when adult children are allowed agency in the story, even when their choices are painful. Resources & Support Facebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup One-on-One Services Private coaching Consulting Mediation services Connect with Kreed: Website: theestrangedheart.com Email: hello@theestrangedheart.com Support the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform) Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

    16 min
  2. 4 FEB

    EP234: Part II - Estrangement Is Trauma for Parents

    In this episode of the Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed delves into the complex emotional landscape of estrangement, particularly focusing on the trauma experienced by parents, especially mothers. The conversation explores how estrangement can trigger old wounds and feelings of confusion, panic, and helplessness. Kreed emphasizes the importance of understanding these feelings without assigning blame, and the need for support and permission to process these emotions. The episode also addresses the perspective of adult children and the challenges of reconciliation, highlighting that healing is not always linear and may require different approaches at different times. Takeaways - Mothers with significant trauma histories can experience an unraveling due to estrangement. - Healing is not always a linear process. - Estrangement can activate old survival (ie: protective) systems in the body. - Reconciliation can sometimes exacerbate feelings of distress. - Permission to pause and seek support is crucial. Resources & Support Facebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup One-on-One Services Private coaching Consulting Mediation services Connect with Kreed: Website: theestrangedheart.com Email: hello@theestrangedheart.com Support the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform) Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

    26 min
  3. 21 GEN

    EP233: Estrangement Is Trauma For Parents

    In this episode of The Estranged Heart, Kreed addresses what the estrangement conversation has been avoiding: the traumatic impact of estrangement on parents at a nervous system level. This isn't about excusing harm or pressuring reconciliation. It's about understanding why telling parents to "just get it" has failed. There's extensive talk about adult children's experiences, boundaries, and emotionally immature parents, but almost no trauma-informed conversation about what estrangement does to parents. When something this big goes unnamed, it shows up sideways in resistance, defensiveness, rigidity, and shutdown. For parents, estrangement isn't just painful - it's traumatic. From their perspective, it arrives suddenly, often without warning, and destabilizes core identity: Who am I if I'm not a parent in relationship with my child? What did my life mean if this is how it turned out? What does the future look like now? Parents are expected to metabolize this identity collapse quietly and quickly while simultaneously becoming more reflective, accountable, and curious. This expectation is neurologically incoherent. "Parents don't change because they are told to 'be accountable.' Parents change when their nervous systems can tolerate reality without collapsing." Resources & Support The Heart Collective Membership Community Twice-monthly live support groups for estranged and reconciled moms Community support and resources Facebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup One-on-One Services Private coaching Consulting Mediation services Connect with Kreed: Website: theestrangedheart.com Email: hello@theestrangedheart.com Support the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform) Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

    32 min
  4. 18 GEN

    EP232: When Obedience Felt Like Love

    In this Heart Scripture episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed examines the profound connection between obedience and love, exploring how compliance often served as a survival strategy in childhood and the complex grief that emerges when we begin to question whether love should have required obedience at all. Obedience as Relational Strategy How following rules became a map for preserving closeness and approval The Tender Origins of Compliance Environments where unpredictability lived and belonging felt fragile What Trembles When Obedience Is Questioned Why releasing obedience as an organizing principle feels like risking everything The Grief of Losing Certainty Mourning the illusion that following rules guaranteed care This episode offers compassionate space to acknowledge that obedience once worked. It protected something tender and kept us safe. It invites us to mourn what we're releasing without condemning what once served us, and to sit with the unsettling questions about what love requires when compliance is no longer the answer. Resources & Support The Heart Collective Membership Community Twice-monthly live support groups for estranged and reconciled moms Community support and resources Facebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup One-on-One Services Private coaching Consulting Mediation services Connect with Kreed: Website: theestrangedheart.com Email: hello@theestrangedheart.com Support the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform) Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

    6 min
  5. 14 GEN

    EP231: When Pain Needs Care Not A Villian

    In this powerful episode, of The Estranged Heart podcast, marking the 10-year anniversary of her own estrangement, Kreed explores why parents' feelings deserve care, but cannot be resolved by rewriting their adult children as villains. Drawing from her unique perspective as both a former estranged parent and adult child who achieved reconciliation, she examines the protective function of villain narratives and their ultimate cost. The Hidden Function of Villain Stories Villain narratives aren't born from cruelty—they're born from overwhelm, pain, and protection The True Cost of Moral Certainty Villain stories may soothe the nervous system temporarily, but they freeze movement and make real repair nearly impossible What Estrangement Really Exposes Parents were told (implicitly or explicitly) that if they loved, sacrificed, and provided enough, their child would stay The Casualties of Certainty Grief never completes its cycle because it requires contact with loss, not moral victory Shame goes underground and hardens into defensiveness "What feeling am I protecting by needing my child to be the villain?" This isn't an interrogation—it's an invitation. You don't have to answer today. What Your Feelings Deserve: Your grief deserves care Your anger deserves space Your shame deserves tenderness Your heartbreak deserves witnesses What They Cannot Do: Your child cannot be the container for those feelings Neither can a story that requires erasing their inner life to soothe your own pain Kreed's Personal Testimony"I firmly believe that if I had stayed in that frame of mind [of villainizing my daughters], we would not be reconciled today. And we have been reconciled eight and nine years this year." Resources & Support The Heart Collective Membership Community Twice-monthly live support groups for estranged and reconciled moms Community support and resources Facebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup One-on-One Services Private coaching Consulting Mediation services Connect with Kreed: Website: theestrangedheart.com Email: hello@theestrangedheart.com Support the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform) Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

    30 min
  6. 11 GEN

    EP230: When Certainty Once Kept Us Safe and No Longer Does

    In this inaugural episode of Heart Scriptures, Kreed offers profound compassion for those navigating the collapse of certainty - exploring the grief that emerges when the structures that once provided safety, meaning, and belonging begin to constrict rather than shelter us. This episode offers sacred permission to grieve the collapse of certainty without pathologizing the process. It reminds us that we are not behind, not broken - we are simply standing at a threshold where what once held can no longer do so. The invitation is to rest in the not-knowing, to honor what mattered enough to wound us, and to resist the urgency to replace old certainties with new ones before we're ready.Take AwaysCertainty as Shelter - The way certainty organized the world and clarified belonging The Quiet Failure of Certainty - When what steadied the nervous system begins to constrict it The Grief of Letting Go - Discovering obedience doesn't always equal goodness The In-Between - Feeling unmoored in the space between certainties Shame in the Threshold - Shame for doubting what once felt sacred The Cost of Defending Certainty - The weight of unspoken truthwww.TheEstrangedHeart.com Email: hello@TheEstrangedHeart.com Work with Kreed: https://theestrangedheart.com/services (private coaching, mediation, support groups, webinars, etc.) The Heart Collective: https://theestrangedheart.com/membership Facebook Support Group for Estranged Moms (facilitated by Kreed)https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup To support the podcast and Kreed’s work with estranged and reconciled parents and adult children: https://buymeacoffee.com/kreedrevere

    9 min

Descrizione

Support and community for navigating the emotional storms of parent and adult child estrangement and repairing and transforming relationships with one another in healthy and productive ways.

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