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2023/01/12

The New Elephant in the Room: Personality Disorders

Personality disorders are mystifying to those unfamiliar with them, and even to some in the mental health profession, although with copious amounts of information online about them these days, everyone acts like an expert and the terminology is bandied about with authority. It’s sticky and fascinating information. Unexplainable behaviors can quickly be explained away as narcissistic personality disorder or other personality disorder types. Once that thought happens, it’s easy to develop confirmation bias, which we talked about in the last episode. But it can be dangerous information, information that must be treated with respect and caution. In this episode, Bill and Megan discuss: Are personality disorders a type of mental illness? What is different about them? How common are they?How do they appear in everyday life? Would I know if someone had one? Examples?What questions should be asked in relation to personality disorder and criminal behavior, including the current tragic case of the Idaho murders?Are all people with personality disorders high conflict people?If I think someone has a personality disorder should I tell them?If I want to explain to a friend or family member what a personality disorder is, what should I say?Links & Other Notes ARTICLEThe New Elephant in the Room: Why All Professionals Need to Learn About Personality DisordersBOOKSIt’s All Your FaultIt’s All Your Fault at Work: Managing Narcissists and Other High Conflict PeopleThe Big Book on Borderline Personality DisorderHigh Conflict People in Legal DisputesARTICLESFull list of articles on personality disordershttps://www.highconflictinstitute.com/hci-articles?category=Personality%20DisordersOur website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:34) - How to Understand Personality Disorders (02:00) - Are Personality Disorders a Type of Mental Illness? (05:30) - Higher Percentage? (07:36) - A Different Way to Find the Solution (10:59) - Careful Labelling (11:47) - How Would I Know? (14:00) - Idaho Murder Case Example (18:24) - Personality Disorder Does Not Equal HCP (20:41) - Blame and Charm (22:34) - Always There (23:22) - Lack of Self-Awareness (24:53) - Explaining Personality Disorders (28:55) - Last Thoughts (29:43) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Getting It Backwards in Family Court

2023/01/12

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31分
2022/12/29

Times of High Risk: The Most Dangerous Times with HCPs

People with high conflict personalities have strong unconscious fears that are easily triggered: abandonment; humiliation, being dominated; ignored; and other major losses. When triggered, this is a greater concern with high conflict people than with the average person. In this episode, Bill and Megan discuss: the types of losses that can trigger high risk:divorcenew relationship partnerjob terminationevictionneighbor disputeother losseswhether these are predictable how to be awarehow to protect yourself and handle:divorce situations when delivering bad news or other big changesworkplace situations, especially when disciplining or terminating someone’s employmentneighborhood/homeowner’s or condo association meetings Links & Other Notes BOOKSSplitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality DisorderBIFF: Quick Responses to High-Conflict People, Their Personal Attacks, Hostile Email and Social Media MeltdownsBIFF at Work: Your Guide to Difficult Workplace Communication: Your Guide to Difficult Workplace CommunicationCalming Upset People with EAROur website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:34) - Times of High Risk (01:25) - Why a Greater Concern with HCPs? (05:17) - Unconscious Reactions (08:09) - HOA Example (14:05) - Settings (16:30) - Divorce Examples (23:46) - Times of High Risk (26:27) - In the Workplace (28:32) - Success Story (30:42) - Last Thoughts (31:55) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Confirmation Bias

2022/12/29

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34分
2023/01/05

Confirmation Bias in High Conflict Situations: How to Avoid Being Fooled by High Conflict People

Have you ever been fooled by someone? Or become passionate about a cause, belief, or opinion that later was proven to be false – and you discovered that the information was there all the time but you hadn’t considered anything outside one point of view? That may have been because of confirmation bias. In today’s episode, Bill and Megan discuss: what confirmation bias is and how it can fool usconfirmation bias in today’s society, such as social media, politics, and othershow it is used in high conflict court caseshow to avoid getting fooled by confirmation bias with allegations of abusehow to avoid getting fooled by a high conflict personLinks & Other Notes BOOKS5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeHigh Conflict People in Legal Disputes Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Timestamp: 158760000 (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:35) - Confirmation Bias (02:03) - What Is Confirmation Bias? (04:18) - Vs. Brainwashing (05:52) - Social Media (06:50) - Meta-Analysis (08:40) - Social Worker History (12:43) - Size of the Problem (17:58) - #MeToo Movement (19:17) - When in Cases (23:39) - Resist and Refuse Cases (27:13) - Avoiding Confirmation Bias (29:34) - Avoiding Getting Fooled by HCPs (31:41) - Wrap Up (32:05) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Explaining Personality Disorders

2023/01/05

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33分
2020/10/06

ADHD Parenting Principles with Dr. Russell Barkley

Dr. Russell Barkley has been something of a firebrand in the ADHD community for over four decades. With twenty-five books — 43 separate editions — and his name behind numerous assessment scales and journal articles, he has established a career of education and advocacy in the field second to none. Today, Dr. Barkley joins us on the ADHD podcast. He’s here, ostensibly, to tell us all about his new book — 12 Principles for Raising a Child with ADHD — but the conversation quickly turns toward advocacy, the tangible dangers of ADHD as a disorder, and the lives lost because too many dismiss it. We talk about the role of genetics and parenting and the role of each in ADHD. We hope you join us today; it’s an incredible honor for us to have Dr. Barkley on the show and are grateful to be able to share it with you all. Bonus! His team was kind enough to offer us a 25% discount on the new book! Click here to get it now! Links & Notes The works of Dr. Russell BarkelyJoin The ADHD Study Hall! (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast (00:48) - Support the show: Become a Patron (02:02) - Introducing Dr. Russell Barkley (06:26) - The First Principle: Self-Regulation Deficit Disorder (09:46) - Seven things at risk with ADHD (14:05) - How do you talk to kids about a new diagnosis? (22:52) - A Legacy of ADHD Advocacy (27:32) - Signals and Myths of ADHD (37:20) - The things we can control (40:41) - The ADHD Pandemic and Parenthood (47:08) - ADHD Across the Lifespan (53:58) - Get the Book! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

2020/10/06

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55分
5月28日

Why Advice Stops Working When You’re Tired

We've all been there: someone offers a perfectly reasonable suggestion, and instead of taking it in, you bristle. You're tired. You're cranky. The last thing you want is advice. This week, Pete and Nikki tackle what happens when ADHD meets fatigue — and why the strategies that usually work suddenly don't. This isn't laziness. It isn't a character flaw. It's what happens when executive functions are already running on a deficit and you pile fatigue on top. Pete brings the research, including a study showing 62% of adults with ADHD meet the criteria for chronic fatigue syndrome — a reminder that "everybody gets tired" is true, but ADHD brains get tired in a different and vastly more significant way. The conversation moves from the science to the lived experience: the guilt loop that keeps you from resting, the way fatigue distorts reality until small tasks feel like moral referendums, and the rewiring required to treat recovery as part of the work — not a reward you have to earn. Plus: why "I don't wanna" might be a capacity check in disguise, the four categories of recovery that actually work (hint: sleep is only one of them), and Nikki's insight that the recovery muscle is built through trial and error, not advance planning. LINKS & RESOURCES Past episode referenced: The Opportunity CostPast episode referenced: Capacity conversation with Brooke SchnittmanSupport the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (03:10) - The Tired Problem ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

5月28日

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26分
5月21日

Why “I’ll Deal With It Later” Is an Energy Leak with Ari Tuckman

We've all said it. "I'll deal with it later." And somehow, later never comes. The thing just sits there — not in your calendar, but in your head. It pings you in the shower. It shows up right before you fall asleep. That's an energy leak. This week, Ari Tuckman returns for his sixth appearance to unpack what's actually happening when we tell ourselves "later." What is the ADHD brain doing in that moment? Are we making a real decision, or just kicking the can? And how do we tell the difference? We dig into: The two flavors of procrastination — not feeling the future vs. avoiding the discomfortWhy "later" needs a "when," and what specificity actually changesThe difference between a task that needs doing and a decision that needs makingHow to close an open loop that's been open way too longGoing toward positives vs. avoiding negatives, and why one of those is more sustainableTime estimation, and why some things aren't knowable until you startAri's new book, the ADHD Productivity ManualGuest Spotlight Ari Tuckman, PsyD is a psychologist, author, and international presenter specializing in ADHD. He's given more than 600 presentations and podcast interviews across America and nine other countries, and is the author of four books: ADHD After Dark, Understand Your Brain, Get More Done, More Attention, Less Deficit, and Integrative Treatment for Adult ADHD. He chairs the CHADD Conference Committee. This is his sixth appearance on the show. Links & Notes Ari's website: https://drarituckman.comAri on Instagram: @AriTuckmanPsyDBooks by Ari Tuckman:ADHD After DarkUnderstand Your Brain, Get More DoneMore Attention, Less DeficitIntegrative Treatment for Adult ADHDADHD Productivity Manual (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:13) - Join us over on Patreon! (02:13) - Introducing Ari Tuckman (03:06) - "I'll do it later..." ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

5月21日

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38分
6月4日

Permission Slips You Keep Waiting For

There's a kind of waiting most ADHDers know well — waiting for someone, somewhere, to say it's okay. Okay to rest. Okay to stop masking. Okay to take the accommodation. Okay to want what you want without justifying it. In this conversation, we get into the permission slips we keep waiting for, often from authority figures who may not even exist anymore. We talk about why ADHDers wait — the research-backed link between years of childhood correction and adult reliance on external validation — and what that has to do with decision paralysis, rejection sensitivity, masking, and the exhaustion of performing a version of yourself that you didn't sign up for. Plus the swan, self-determination theory, and a small concrete first step you can try this week. Links & Notes Download The ADHD Permission Slip!Support the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:26) - Patreon.com/TheADHDPodcast (02:36) - Your Permission Slips ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

6月4日

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32分
4月16日

Why Your Child Absorbs Your Emotions

In high conflict divorce, children don’t just witness a parent’s distress—they absorb it, often without knowing where the feeling is coming from. Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter explain the brain science behind emotional contagion, why it can quietly build a child’s resistance to the healthier parent, and what that parent can do about it. From holding the schedule steady under emotional pressure, to teaching the four big skills for life, to naming emotions out loud to reduce their intensity—this episode gives parents practical tools they can use inside their own home starting today. Resources from this episode:BOOKS Don't Alienate the KidsBIFF for CoParent CommunicationCOURSES & CLASSES FOR PARENTS Conflict Influencer™ ClassNew Ways for Families Class + Coaching (for parents)Resistance, Refusal and the Child’s BrainARTICLE 7 Ways Children’s Brains Absorb Their Parent's’ Emotions in Divorce (And What You Can Do About It)TRAINING Professional Organizational Training: info@highconflictinstitute.com Submit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | WebsiteWatch this episode on YouTube!Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:51) - Update (04:18) - Children Absorbing Their Parents’ Emotions (10:16) - What’s Happening (15:55) - Dad’s Options (17:41) - Setting Up Emotional Responses (20:21) - Parental Awareness and Roles (29:55) - Wrap Up

4月16日

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33分
2022/05/26

A High Conflict Divorce with a (rare) Successful Outcome

High conflict divorce is one the hardest trials one can go through. It’s so hard on parents and on their children. If you’ve ever wanted to know what it looks like from the inside, from someone who has been through it and come out the other side with good outcomes, listen to this episode featuring Bill and Megan’s guest, Shannon Jenkins from the podcast Starting Over with Shannon. After hearing a bit of Shannon’s story, Bill and Megan will talk with her about: these many downs and a limited number of ups in high conflict casesstrategies Shannon used in her own case that had positive resultswhat made the case seem high conflict to herwhere she decided to go to get the best decisions in terms of parenting plans, finance, relocation efforts, and other major decisions (mediation, direct negotiations, court, out-of-court)domestic violence and child abuse allegations, and other “distractions” and “manipulations” used in the casesome hopeful tips and encouragement for listeners who may be walking the path of high conflict separation, divorce and parenting/co-parentingLinks & Other Notes Shannon’s websiteStarting Over with Shannon: The PodcastBOOKS Dating Radar5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeSplittingARTICLES Differences in Dealing with Borderline, Narcissistic and Antisocial Clients in Family LawFamily Law: 3 Theories of the High-Conflict Case6 Ways You Should Be Assertive in Family CourtOur website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:50) - Meet Shannon Jenkins (03:18) - Why Start Over? (05:49) - What Made the Divorce High Conflict? (09:44) - Finding How to Approach the Case (12:21) - Business Law (13:40) - The Hague Convention (15:21) - Some of the High Conflict Issues (18:47) - What Made It Work? (22:44) - Her Support Structure (28:05) - How Things Turned Out (32:17) - Confusion (34:31) - How Her Son's Doing (36:01) - Wrapping Up (38:23) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Susie Rayner

2022/05/26

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40分
4月9日

What Changes About Executive Function After 40 with Dr. Brandy Callahan

Here's something nobody tells you about aging with ADHD: the part that feels like decline might not be decline at all. It might be retirement. Or perimenopause. Or just the fact that the external structure that quietly managed your symptoms for thirty years finally disappeared — and nobody warned you it was doing that much work. The question isn't whether your brain is changing. It is. The question is whether you understand why, and what the research actually says about where it leads. Dr. Brandy Callahan is a clinical neuropsychologist, Canada Research Chair in Adult Clinical Neuropsychology, and the founder of the LiBra Lab — the Lifespan Brain Health Lab at the University of Calgary. Her research sits at the intersection most researchers haven't bothered to explore: what happens to the ADHD brain across decades, and specifically, what connects ADHD to elevated dementia risk. What she's finding — about allostatic burden, about the gap between how people perform in a lab versus how they function in a grocery store on a Sunday afternoon, about what a lifetime of navigating a neurotypical world may actually cost the brain biologically — is the conversation this series has been building toward. There is hard news in here. There is also, genuinely, a lot of hope. Guest Spotlight Dr. Brandy Callahan, PhD, RPsych is a clinical neuropsychologist, Associate Professor of Psychology at the University of Calgary, and a Canada Research Chair in Adult Clinical Neuropsychology. She is the founder and principal investigator of the LiBra Lab — the Lifespan Brain Health Lab — which focuses specifically on ADHD in women and in older adulthood, and she came to ADHD research not through personal experience but through a memory clinic, where she kept meeting older adults being evaluated for dementia who turned out to have lived their whole lives with undiagnosed ADHD. Her current research is investigating what may drive elevated dementia risk in adults with ADHD — including allostatic burden, cerebral small vessel disease, and the biological cost of decades of chronic stress. She is also currently running ADHD Her, an online study about girls and women with ADHD across the lifespan, open to participants from age 8 to 87. Learn more at libralab.ca, and find the ADHD Her study by searching "ADHD Her" online. Links & Notes LiBra LabADHD Her Study (online, open to participants ages 8-87LiBra Lab participant registry (RADAR)Support the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (05:56) - What does a research neuropsychologist actually do? (08:34) - How does EF Age? (15:01) - Charting the Decades (22:22) - The Shame Cycle... Missing in the Lab (23:39) - Alostatic Burden (37:06) - So... where's the hope? ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

4月9日

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44分

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