Selfish Parenting

Chance' Hindir-Lane
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Welcome to Selfish Parenting - where we flip the script on everything society tells you about being a "good parent."I'm Chance Hinder-Lane (@hindirlane), and I'm here to tell you that what society calls selfish, we call sustainable parenting.Tired of the guilt? Done with the burnout culture? Ready to stop people-pleasing your way through parenthood? You're in the right place.This isn't your typical parenting podcast filled with shoulds and shouldn'ts. We're here to give you permission to:  Hire help without guilt  Prioritize your career AND your kids Say no to activities that drain you  Invest in your mental health and identity  Maintain adult relationships and interests  Spend money on yourself  Set boundaries that actually workEvery episode, we dive deep into the "selfish" behaviors that research shows actually make you a better parent. From working mothers to stay-at-home parents demanding respect, from therapy to solo vacations - we're covering it all with science, sass, and zero shame.Because here's the truth: Taking care of yourself IS taking care of your family.New episodes drop every Monday at 7am Follow @hindirlane for daily doses of sustainable parenting content

  1. 1 DAY AGO

    12. TikTok Is Not Real Life | What I Was Posting While My Life Was Falling Apart with Kiana Leroux

    This episode contains graphic depictions of domestic violence. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know needs help, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or text “START” to 88788. Kiana built her platform on transparency, but this conversation makes it clear just how much she was holding at the same time. What looked like a happy, growing relationship online was layered with control, instability, and survival behind the scenes – and she was navigating all of it while pregnant, postpartum, and still showing up publicly. We talk about what it actually means to live through something in real time without the luxury of stepping away, how content creation became both an outlet and a lifeline, and why the version of a relationship you see online can be completely real and still not be the full truth. This episode isn’t about exposing social media – it’s about understanding why women stay, why they leave, and what it costs to delay your own healing. Kiana Leroux is a content creator known for her honest, lived-experience advice and transparent storytelling around relationships, motherhood, and personal growth. Connect with Kiana IGTikTokYouTubeStats mentioned: 62% of creators report burnout (Forbes Healthy Study, 2025)65% of content creators experience anxiety and depression (Fast Company & Creator Studies, 2025)In this episode I cover: What’s actually happening behind “happy” relationship contentWhy leaving isn’t always a clean or immediate decisionHow abuse can exist alongside love, success, and visibilityThe role content creation can play when you’re trying to survive somethingWhy “ride or die” culture sets women up to loseThe difference between real connection and emotional intensityWhat it looks like to rebuild while still being watchedHosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself. Connect with Me:  InstagramShop MyLTKYouTube - ChancèYouTube - Selfish ParentingTikTok

    1hr 3min

  2. 30 MAR

    11. The Government Doesn't Care About Mothers… So We Built Our Own Village

    This episode is me saying the quiet part out loud: you are not struggling because you’re doing motherhood wrong. You’re struggling because there is no real support system built for you. I’m introducing Empower Her Village, but this isn’t just an announcement, it’s a response to something I’ve seen over and over again, in my own life and in yours. Mothers who are doing everything “right,” working, showing up, holding it all together, and still can’t afford childcare, therapy, or even basic help at home. Not because they’re irresponsible, but because they fall into a gap no one is talking about. The government has the data. They know mothers are leaving the workforce, they know most can’t access mental health care, and they’ve chosen to do nothing. So instead of continuing to tell you to “prioritize yourself” without giving you the tools to do it, I decided to build something that actually supports you. Because the truth is, it still takes a village… but now that village costs money. And if you don’t have access to it, no amount of advice is going to fix that. Connect with Empower Her Village: WebsiteDonateIGTikTokinfo@empowerhervillage.org Resources mentioned: 2025 U.S. Maternal Mental Health Risk and Resources by CountyWomen say caregiving and child care costs are the No. 1 reason they quit the workforce last year, according to new dataSome key takeaways from this episode are: The “missing middle” is real! Mothers earning too much to qualify for assistance but not enough to afford childcare, therapy, or household help are being left to figure it out alone, and it’s why so many are silently struggling.“Prioritize yourself” is not useful advice if you don’t have the resources to do it. The issue is clearly not that mothers don’t want to take care of themselves. But that they don’t have access to the support that makes it possible.The village still exists, it’s just no longer free. What used to be family and community support now shows up as paid services like childcare, therapy, and household help, and every mother deserves access to that level of support.Hosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself. Connect with Me:  InstagramShop MyLTKYouTube - ChancèYouTube - Selfish ParentingTikTok

    23 min

  3. 10 MAR

    10. Spanking IS Child Abuse

    Hitting your child is abuse. It doesn't matter if you call it spanking, whooping, or "a little pat." In this episode, I'm unpacking why corporal punishment has been normalized for so long and why so many parents still believe it's discipline. Growing up in the Democratic Republic of Congo, I saw firsthand how physical punishment was treated as the standard both at home and in schools. But here's what doesn't add up: it's illegal to hit your spouse, illegal to hit your neighbor – yet still legal to hit your child. And if you say "I was hit and I turned out fine," I'm here to tell you… you probably didn't.  The real question is this: are you trying to teach your child, or are you trying to make them suffer? Discipline is supposed to come from teaching and repetition, not fear. We talk about the difference between punishment and discipline, why research shows physical punishment harms children's development, the misuse of "spare the rod" in Christian parenting, and what it actually looks like to parent with intention, using redirection, natural consequences, emotional regulation, and clear boundaries instead of violence. Because breaking generational cycles starts with you. Resources mentioned: ”Spanking and Other Physical Discipline Lead to Exclusively Negative Outcomes” (NYU, 2025)”The Effect of Spanking on the Brain” (Harvard, 2021)3 things to understand about disciplining kids without hitting them: Hitting a child might stop a behavior in the moment, but it doesn’t actually teach them what to do instead. Fear shuts down the part of the brain responsible for learning, which means the lesson never lands.Discipline isn’t about punishment – it’s about teaching. Redirection, natural consequences, and consistent boundaries help children understand their choices and build emotional regulation over time.Breaking generational parenting patterns starts with the parent. When you regulate your own emotions, model accountability, and reconnect with your child after conflict, you teach them how to handle their own feelings without violence.Hosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself. Connect with Me:  InstagramShop MyLTKYouTube - ChancèYouTube - Selfish ParentingTikTok

    52 min

  4. 23 FEB

    9. Tradwife or Trapped Wife? | How Stay-at-Home Moms Can Protect Themselves with Trish A. White

    Everyone loves the idea of a stay-at-home mom until the internet starts running the divorce horror stories. So let’s actually talk about it. In this episode, I sit down with Trish White, a stay-at-home mom of three who very intentionally chose this life, and we break down what protection really looks like. Not fear. Not paranoia. Not secret resentment. Real protection. The kind that starts before you ever leave your job. We talk about choosing a partner who doesn’t flinch at your ambition to stay home, why financial transparency matters more than “soft life” aesthetics, what red flags to clock early, and how to build equity, credit, and confidence inside your marriage. If you want to be a stay-at-home mom, you absolutely can. But it only works when it’s chosen, supported, and structurally sound. Trish A. White is a stay-at-home mom of three and content creator featured in Essence for her perspective on Black stay-at-home motherhood and the trad-wife conversation, where she shares financial transparency tips, faith-centered family life, and empowered SAHM insight across her social platforms. You can follow Trish on Instagram! 3 Truths About Staying Home That Actually Protect You: The man you choose matters more than any contract. Being a stay-at-home mom starts with the husband. If he flinches at your desire to stay home, doesn’t follow through on his goals, or is emotionally unstable in small conflicts, that instability will grow under pressure. The right partner makes the role feel secure, not risky!Financial access isn’t optional… it’s adult. You should know the accounts, understand the bills, build credit in your name, and sit in on real money conversations. Most stay-at-home vulnerability comes from financial ignorance, not the role itself. Transparency builds trust. Secrecy builds dependency.Preparation should empower you, not scare you. Yes, be on the deed. Yes, understand prenups. Yes, build equity and keep your skills sharp. But protection isn’t about expecting betrayal, it’s about being informed, intentional, and confident enough to enjoy the life you chose.Hosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself. Connect with Me:  InstagramShop MyLTKYouTube - ChancèYouTube - Selfish ParentingTikTok

    1hr 15min

  5. 9 FEB

    8. 45% of Women Will Be Single by 2030 | How to Know If You’re Actually Ready for Marriage and Motherhood

    A lot of people treat marriage and motherhood like deadlines you’re supposed to hit. In this episode, I break down how I think about readiness, not as a timeline, but as an intentional choice that should add to your life, not shrink it. I share what actually mattered to me before getting married, from choosing an exceptional partner to knowing who I was outside of a relationship and being able to financially support myself. Then we get into what real readiness for kids looks like: the costs people don’t talk about, the emotional work that shows up in postpartum and parenting triggers, and the reality that choosing to have children is a lifelong commitment. If you’re going to choose marriage or motherhood, this episode is about choosing it on purpose… not out of pressure, fear, or expectation. Resources mentioned: Rise of the SHEconomy - Morgan Stanley ResearchHealth fertility and age-related pregnancy data - UCSF Facility Research Questions to Ask Yourself Before Marriage or Motherhood: If your partner never changes, same job, same mindset, same habits, would you still want to be with them?Can you financially support yourself without relying on a partner?Do you know who you are outside of a relationship or motherhood?Have you lived independently enough to know what you actually want (living alone, traveling alone, dating different people)?What would you realistically have to sacrifice or give up if you had children?Have you addressed your own childhood trauma and personal triggers?Are you choosing marriage or kids because you truly want them? Or because of fear or societal pressure?Hosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself. Connect with Me:  InstagramShop MyLTKYouTube - ChancèYouTube - Selfish ParentingTikTok

    41 min

  6. 26 JAN

    7. You’re Not a Single Married Mother | What Real Partnership, Labor & Boundaries Look Like with Colette Louis

    A lot of couples talk about “building together.”Fewer talk about what happens when ambition, money, children, and the internet all enter the relationship at the same time. In this episode, I sit down with Colette Louis to talk about what it actually looks like to grow a marriage while growing businesses – without one partner quietly carrying the invisible weight of it all. We unpack how she and her husband made early decisions about money, labor, and priorities, why outsourcing became a necessity rather than a luxury, and how they protect their relationship in a culture that rewards oversharing. This conversation challenges the idea that doing everything alone is something to be proud of, and offers a more honest picture of partnership, boundaries, and shared responsibility. Colette Louis is a lifestyle creator, wife, mom of two, and entrepreneur who shares honest conversations about motherhood, home, and building a life that feels as good as it looks. She’s the voice behind Simply Colette, where she blends everyday routines with intentional living and soft ambition. Known for turning real life into relatable storytelling, Colette encourages women to move beyond survival mode and step into thriving – at home and within themselves. Through her content and community, she reminds women that growth can be gentle, beautiful, and still powerful. Connect with Colette: WebsiteIGTikTokResources mentioned: Invisible Household Labor and Ramifications for Adjustment: Mothers as Captains of HouseholdsIn this episode, we cover: What it really means to build a business with your spouseWhy “equal” doesn’t always mean “fair” when it comes to labor at homeHow invisible labor contributes to burnout and resentmentOutsourcing as a strategic decision, not a moral failureSetting boundaries online to protect your marriage offlineWhy help isn’t optional if you want sustainability, not survivalHosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself. Connect with Me:  InstagramShop MyLTKYouTube - ChancèYouTube - Selfish ParentingTikTok

    1hr 12min

  7. 12 JAN

    6. Having Kids IS Selfish (And That’s Okay) | Why Being Child-Free Is Sometimes the Selfless Choice

    We keep hearing that the birth rate is falling, the economy is panicking, and somehow the solution lives in women’s bodies. In this episode, I’m saying the quiet part out loud: every reason to have children is selfish -- and that’s not a bad thing. As a mother of four, I unpack why choosing not to have children is not selfish at all, but often an act of self-preservation. Through my own birth stories, research on maternal health, and the realities no one puts on the baby shower invitation, this episode challenges the idea that women owe their bodies, or their lives, to society. Motherhood should always be a choice, never a moral obligation. Resources mentioned: Diary of a CEO podcast episode featuring Dr. Erica Komisar (discussion on declining birth rates and women’s autonomy)In this episode, I cover: Why women’s bodies are not economic policy or national resourcesThe real, lifelong physical and mental costs of pregnancy and childbirthWhy there is no truly “selfless” reason to have children, and why honesty mattersHow child-free women often help hold families and communities togetherA practical decision framework to help you decide if having (or having more) children is right for youHosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself. Connect with Me:  InstagramShop MyLTKYouTube - ChancèYouTube - Selfish ParentingTikTok

    43 min

  8. 31/12/2025

    5. Why Am I Like This? | How Healing Your Past Changes Your Future with Kobe Campbell, LCMHC

    When you think about the personal rules you follow while parenting your children, how many of those are shaped by an experience you’ve had in your life? Chances are, at least one or two of the daily decisions you make are shaped by trauma. That’s why I’m so excited to have Kobe Campbell, an award-winning licensed trauma therapist, on the podcast! We discuss how trauma impacts our lives, why you should stop dismissing your trauma as “not that bad,” and the role trauma therapy can play in helping us heal. Kobe Campbell, LCMHC is an award-winning licensed trauma therapist, bestselling author, speaker, and entertainment consultant. As a seminary-trained therapist, she specializes in helping people understand how their past shapes their present through her signature work on inner child healing and breaking generational cycles. Her 4x #1 Amazon bestselling book, Why Am I Like This? How to Break Cycles, Heal From Trauma, and Restore Your Faith has transformed thousands of lives by combining evidence-based therapy with faith-filled compassion. Connect with Kobe:  Why Am I Like This? by Kobe CampbellInstagramTikTokYouTubeSome key takeaways from this episode include: If something happened to you that changed the way you interact with the world, it was probably a traumatic event. Even if it didn’t impact people around you, or “doesn’t seem that bad” compared to what others have been through, it doesn’t mean it wasn’t traumatic.There are two things we might develop as a result of trauma: adaptive practices and maladaptive practices. Adaptive practices might keep you healthy and safe, but maladaptive practices can result in you repeating generational trauma or keeping loved ones at arm’s length.The growth and healing you experience in therapy will hopefully cover you for a lifetime, but healing isn’t linear and it happens over the course of your whole life. You might go to therapy for six months, then feel good and not need therapy for years, then go back when you notice unhealthy patterns. Hosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself. Connect with Me:  InstagramShop MyLTKYouTube - ChancèYouTube - Selfish ParentingTikTok

    1hr 22min
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About

Welcome to Selfish Parenting - where we flip the script on everything society tells you about being a "good parent."I'm Chance Hinder-Lane (@hindirlane), and I'm here to tell you that what society calls selfish, we call sustainable parenting.Tired of the guilt? Done with the burnout culture? Ready to stop people-pleasing your way through parenthood? You're in the right place.This isn't your typical parenting podcast filled with shoulds and shouldn'ts. We're here to give you permission to:  Hire help without guilt  Prioritize your career AND your kids Say no to activities that drain you  Invest in your mental health and identity  Maintain adult relationships and interests  Spend money on yourself  Set boundaries that actually workEvery episode, we dive deep into the "selfish" behaviors that research shows actually make you a better parent. From working mothers to stay-at-home parents demanding respect, from therapy to solo vacations - we're covering it all with science, sass, and zero shame.Because here's the truth: Taking care of yourself IS taking care of your family.New episodes drop every Monday at 7am Follow @hindirlane for daily doses of sustainable parenting content

Information

  • Creator
    Chance' Hindir-Lane
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    13
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Selfish Parenting
  • Show Website
    Selfish Parenting

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