Why Do I…?

Tom Stroud x I.A.M Podcasts
  • 0.0 (0)
  • RELATIONSHIPS
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Exploring the behaviours that shape our relationships, with ourselves and with others 💬 ‘Why Do I…?’ is a podcast about the behaviours and patterns that show up in our relationships, and what happens when we start to notice them. Hosted by Tom Stroud, the series follows on from Why Do Men, which explored male behaviour in dating and relationships. This season broadens the lens, moving away from expert advice around specific behaviours like ghosting and jealousy towards lived experience across all kinds of relationships.

  1. 2 DAYS AGO

    Why Do I Repress My Anger...? With Sam Parker

    We’re taught that anger is something to avoid. That it’s dangerous. Unattractive. Something that pushes people away. So instead… we suppress it. We tell ourselves we’re “not an angry person.” We keep the peace. We bottle things up. But what if the real problem isn’t anger…It’s the fact we never let ourselves feel it? In this episode of Why Do I, I’m joined by Sam Parker from GQ, who’s spent years exploring what happens when we repress anger… and the impact it has on our relationships, our anxiety, and how we show up in the world. If you’ve ever said “I’m just not an angry person”… If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, frustrated, or tense without knowing why… If you’ve ever struggled to express how you really feel… This episode is for you... EPISODE CHAPTERS: 00:00 – Why I Struggle to Feel Anger 05:30 – The Hidden Cost of Suppressing Anger 12:30 – How It Shows Up in Relationships 20:00 – Learning to Identify & Express Anger 28:30 – Conflict, Communication & Repair 36:30 – Social Media & Collective Anger OH YEAH! Before You Go - Connect With Us On Socials 👇 Pod: https://www.instagram.com/whydoiofficial/?hl=en Tom: https://www.instagram.com/stroudtom/?hl=en Sam: https://www.instagram.com/samparkeruk/ Also check out Sams book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Good-Anger-Radical-Rethink-Misunderstood/dp/1399417851 💎 This show is part of the ⁠I.A.M Podcasts⁠ roster #WhyDoI #Anger #samparker

    47 min

  2. 23 MAR

    Tom's Reflection: I Used Sex As A Way To Validate Myself

    We grow up believing that a good relationship means good sex. That if you’re having enough of it… If the chemistry is there… If the spark hasn’t faded… Then everything else must be working. But that’s not always true. Because you can be having loads of sex… And still feel completely disconnected. In this reflection episode of Why Do I, I unpack one of the biggest mindset shifts I’ve had around relationships… following my conversation with Henika Patel. I open up about how I used to measure the success of a relationship through sex alone… Why so many men fall into that trap… And how that way of thinking can quietly damage something that could’ve been meaningful. We get into why desire naturally changes over time… The difference between spontaneous and responsive desire… And why chasing the early “dopamine phase” can stop you from building something deeper. I also share my own experiences with validation, distraction, and not having the tools to communicate properly in relationships… And why most couples aren’t actually struggling with sex - they’re struggling with connection. If you’ve ever questioned your attraction in a relationship… If things have felt different over time… If you’ve ever used sex as a way to measure how things are going… This episode will shift the way you see it. OH YEAH! Before You Go - Connect With Us On Socials 👇Pod: https://www.instagram.com/whydoiofficial/?hl=enTom: https://www.instagram.com/stroudtom/?hl=enHenika: https://www.instagram.com/henika.x/?hl=en 💎 This show is part of the ⁠I.A.M Podcasts⁠ roster #WhyDoI #Relationships

    9 min

  3. 16 MAR

    Why Do I Avoid Intimacy With My Partner…? Guest Expert - Henika Patel

    We grow up believing connection should just… happen. That if you love someone enoughIf the relationship is right enoughIf you’re close enough… That spark should stay the same forever. But then real life kicks in. Stress. Routine. Pressure. Emotional distance. And slowly, the connection that once felt effortless starts to feel harder to hold onto.In this episode of Why Do I, I’m joined by Henika Patel, founder of the School of Sensual Arts. Henika helps us understand why closeness can shift in long-term relationships and why so many couples struggle to talk about it honestly. We unpack the difference between chasing intensity and building real connection… Why the early “fireworks” phase naturally changes over time… and how relationships can become stronger when we stop expecting love to always look the way it did at the start. If you’ve ever wondered why attraction changes over time… If you’ve ever felt confused by distance in a relationship… If you’ve ever loved someone deeply but struggled to feel close… This episode is for you. OH YEAH! Before You Go - Connect With Us On Socials 👇 Pod: https://www.instagram.com/whydoiofficial/?hl=en Tom: https://www.instagram.com/stroudtom/?hl=en Henika: https://www.instagram.com/henika.x/?hl=en 💎 This show is part of the ⁠I.A.M Podcasts⁠ roster #WhyDoI #Relationships #Connection #Love

    49 min

  4. 9 MAR

    Tom's Reflection: Im Scared To Live The Same Life As My Dad...

    After my conversation with Julius Cowdrey about parental behaviour and generational patterns, something stayed with me long after the microphones were turned off… What happens when you realise parts of your personality might not actually be yours? When you start to see how your parents’ wounds quietly shaped the way you love, react, and run from things? We talk a lot about childhood trauma. But we rarely talk about the quiet fear of becoming our parents. In this solo reflection, I open up about: • Growing up with an absent father and the complicated grief that followed • The pressure of trying to be the “good son” for a parent who sacrificed everything • The moment at 32 when I looked in the mirror and felt like I had become my dad • Avoidant attachment and why running can feel like freedom• Discovering my father’s own childhood abandonment and how that changed everything • Why understanding our parents’ pain can be the first step to breaking generational cycles If you’ve ever worried you might repeat your parents’ mistakes…If you’ve ever felt trapped between loyalty to your family and the need to become your own person…If you’ve ever questioned whether your patterns are truly yours… This episode is for you. 💎 This show is part of the ⁠I.A.M Podcasts⁠ roster

    10 min

  5. 2 MAR

    Why Do I Make The Same Mistakes My Parents Did...?

    We grow up thinking our parents are just… parents. The safe one. The distant one.The provider. The peacemaker. The one who never talks about feelings. But then you get older and you realise…their relationship didn’t just shape them.It shaped you. The way you trust. The way you attach. The way you avoid. The way you love. In the second episode of Why Do I (Season 2), I’m joined by Julius Cowdrey. Julius opens up about growing up in the shadow of infidelity, emotional distance, and the silent rules many of us inherit from our parents without even realising. We talk about the ripple effect of: A father who won’t go deep… a mother who stays selfless for the “family unit”… and how that can later show up as avoidance, fear of being relied on, and a constant question of “am I good enough?” If you’ve ever felt your dad’s absence still living in your adult decisions… If you’ve ever repeated patterns you swore you wouldn’t… If you’ve ever wanted connection, but panicked the moment it got real… This one’s for you. OH YEAH! Before You Go - Connect With Us On Socials 👇 Pod: https://www.instagram.com/whydoiofficial/?hl=en Tom: https://www.instagram.com/stroudtom/?hl=en Julius: https://www.instagram.com/jlcowdrey/?hl=en 💎 This show is part of the ⁠I.A.M Podcasts⁠ Roster #WhyDoI #Relationships #Healing #FamilyTrauma

    1hr 3min

  6. 23 FEB

    Tom's Reflection: My Break-up Almost Broke Me...

    After my conversation with Sasha Pallari about breakups that don’t make sense on paper, I found myself sitting with something deeper… What happens when you’re with someone who is objectively incredible Kind. Stable. Supportive. And yet something still feels missing? We talk a lot about red flags. But nobody prepares you for the green flag breakup. In this solo reflection, I open up about: • Staying in “almost right” relationships• Cognitive dissonance and emotional self-gaslighting• The sunk cost fallacy in love• My own breakup at 32 that completely shook my identity• Why leaving a good person doesn’t make you the villain If you’ve ever felt ungrateful for being unhappy…If you’ve ever tried to logic your way into love…If you’ve ever stayed because it looked good on paper… This episode is for you. This is about emotional filters.This is about trusting your gut.This is about choosing truth over convenience. OH YEAH! Before You Go - Connect With Us On Socials 👇 Pod: https://www.instagram.com/whydoiofficial/?hl=enTom: https://www.instagram.com/stroudtom/?hl=enSasha: https://www.instagram.com/sashapallari/?hl=en 💎 This show is part of the ⁠I.A.M Podcasts⁠ roster #WhyDoI #Relationships #Breakups #SelfGrowth

    8 min

  7. 21 FEB

    The Reality of Dating Someone in Addiction...

    If someone sees you.Understands you.Holds you.Chooses you. That’s enough… right? But what happens when the person who makes you feel the most seen you’ve ever felt… is also battling addiction? In this clip from Why Do I (Season 2), Sasha Pallari opens up about loving someone who could show up for her… but couldn’t show up for himself. We talk about: - Fire and ice love.- The heartbreak of asking, “Why didn’t he fight for me?”- Realising you can’t save someone from themselves.- And the painful truth that sometimes love isn’t enough. If you’ve ever loved someone through addiction…If you’ve ever tried to help someone heal…If you’ve ever had to walk away from someone you still love… This one’s for you. 🎙️ Watch the full episode with Sasha Pallari on the channel now. OH YEAH! Before You Go - Connect With Us On Socials 👇 Pod: https://www.instagram.com/whydoiofficial/?hl=enTom: https://www.instagram.com/stroudtom/?hl=enSash: https://www.instagram.com/sashapallari/?hl=en 💎 This show is part of the I.A.M Podcasts Roster #WhyDoI #Addiction #Relationships #Breakups

    7 min

  8. 16 FEB

    Why Do I Fall For The Wrong People...? with Sasha Pallari

    We grow up thinking love is supposed to feel a certain way... Butterflies. Intensity. Stability. Someone choosing you. But what happens when you’ve had the wedding… The divorce… The once-in-a-lifetime love… And you’re still asking, what do I actually want? In the first episode of Why Do I (Season 2), I’m joined by Sasha Pallari!! Sasha opens up about her marriage, her divorce and the complicated truth that sometimes love isn’t enough. If you’ve ever walked away from something that looked perfect on paper… If you’ve ever questioned whether you’re asking for too much… If you’ve ever loved someone deeply but known it wasn’t right… This one’s for you. Season 2 starts here!! OH YEAH! Before You Go - Connect With Us On Socials👇 Pod: https://www.instagram.com/whydoiofficial/?hl=en Tom: https://www.instagram.com/stroudtom/?hl=en Sash: https://www.instagram.com/sashapallari/?hl=en 💎 This show is part of the I.A.M Podcasts Roster #WhyDoI #Relationships #Breakups

    1hr 1min
See All (40)

Trailer

About

Exploring the behaviours that shape our relationships, with ourselves and with others 💬 ‘Why Do I…?’ is a podcast about the behaviours and patterns that show up in our relationships, and what happens when we start to notice them. Hosted by Tom Stroud, the series follows on from Why Do Men, which explored male behaviour in dating and relationships. This season broadens the lens, moving away from expert advice around specific behaviours like ghosting and jealousy towards lived experience across all kinds of relationships.

Information

  • Creator
    Tom Stroud x I.A.M Podcasts
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    40
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Tom Stroud x I.A.M Podcasts
  • Show Website
    Why Do I…?

You Might Also Like