DadAwesome Jeff Zaugg

Kyle Wester joins us to unpack the science of your kid’s brain—from birth to adulthood. You’ll discover how connection shapes their emotional development and why sincere apologies pave the way for deeper intimacy in your relationship.
 
Key Takeaways  
Your anger says more about you than your kids.  The brain has three key developmental stages: brainstem, limbic system, and prefrontal cortex. To move out of the limbic system, you need connection.  Have high expectations while offering high support.  Emotion-focused parenting is an inside-out model that reflects what God does with us.   Kyle Wester  
Kyle Wester is a licensed professional counselor and Parenting Coach who has been working with children for over 20 years. Kyle and his wife, Sarah, are founders of Parenting Legacy and host The Art of Raising Humans podcast. They have been married for 22 years and have three children. 
  Key Quotes  
6:28 - "Success for us, when I look at my kids and I know that we are doing it well, that we are succeeding as parents, is when I see the fruit of the spirit easily pouring out of their daily life. What's neat is when you tie that in to the brain science, all of us as human beings, when we are at our best and we are really able to show up, be seen, bring more light to a dark place, it's when we're in the prefrontal cortex. And what's interesting about the prefrontal cortex is I can only get there when I feel safe and loved." 9:31 - "I have super high expectations on my kids. I really believe that every place they are is going to be better because they are there. And if for some reason that isn't happening and I'm noticing that, then me and my wife are wondering what is the supports my kid needed in that moment to be able to really shine the way God intended them to in that moment?" 26:02 - "This shows us how God has wired us and why the Christian disciplines are so effective, is because when we pray, when we meditate, when we worship, when we do these exercises that have been known throughout church history to be healthy and effective for us, we're answering these questions. We're connecting to somebody outside of us, who's whispering to us, you are safe. You are loved. And then once you get to the prefrontal cortex, the question is, what can I learn? You're basically saying, how can we do this together? How can we change this situation? I just picture God coming with an open hand and us coming with a closed hand, and He stays calm with us. He comforts us until our hand opens up. And then our hands can come together and we can really solve that problem together."   Links from Today’s Conversation  
Get 15% off the DadAwesome Store During the Mother’s Day Sale Parenting Legacy Counseling & Coaching Email Kyle Wester at kyle@artofraisinghumans.com The Art of Raising Humans Podcast The Aro Podcast 257 | When you Change Your Relationship with the Phone, You Change Your Relationship with Everyone Around You, Including Yourself (Joey Odom) Anatomy of the Soul by Curt Thompson Sacred Parenting by Gary Thomas  Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman  No-Drama Discipline by Daniel Siegel Parenting from the Inside Out by Daniel Siegel The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel Siegel Playful Parenting by Lawrence Cohen The Opposite of Worry by Lawrence Cohen   Connect with dadAWESOME  
Make a Donation to dadAWESOME Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team Receive weekly encouragement by texting "dad" to 651-370-8618  

In John 10:10, Jesus says that He came so we may have life to the full. This verse guides Tim Lukei’s work as a men's pastor and non-profit leader. Listen in as Tim lists practical tips for building a vibrant men's community. Plus, he describes why adventure matters for your heart, marriage, and family. 
  Key Takeaways  
If you're following Jesus and it feels boring, you're not doing it right. A multi-generational team will create a multi-generational ministry.  Adventuring as men often opens us up to do life together authentically. Don't just be a dad who was there; be a dad who was intentional and present.   Tim Lukei  
Tim Lukei is the Men's Pastor of Mariners Church in Irvine, California. He also runs Maverick River Collective, which equips churches to establish sustainable, transformational men's ministries. Tim and his wife, Korrie, have been married since 2006 and have three children. 
  Key Quotes  
6:29 - "Adventuring together creates connection moments and moments of, this is so awesome we got to experience this together. That is adventure as it pertains to man's ministry and family and parenting. The best way I know to how to connect with my kids is going on an adventure. And that doesn't always mean hopping on a plane, going to Hawaii or wherever else. It could be like, hey, we're going on a bike ride and I'll take you to this rad new playground. It's going to be amazing. That could be an adventure. And it doesn't cost necessarily anything. My kids beg me to to go on bike rides and it costs nothing." 16:18 - "Do the self processing and figuring out, for me it was immediately, I recognized, I am burnout. I'm exhausted. No matter what you should already have had people in your place that you're reaching out in to go, hey, I'm not okay. Have you recognized it? And then begin the processing on what does it look like to become whole again? To get soul rest, to take some time, if you can, to figure out, is there areas where I need a coach or a therapist? One of the things that I try to do as a men's pastor is normalize therapy for men all freaking day. It's not something you do when you're in crisis. It's something that you do constant. Guys, we don't do that well. We don't process, talk through our hardship, difficulty or past. We don't, that's not our natural gear, for at least most guys. Maybe you have some meaningful conversations with people who speak truth into your life, but whether it's painful or not, you need to have that. Definitely figure out what things are the reasons, How did you get here, and don't just throw Band-Aids at something."   Links from Today’s Conversation  
Get 15% off the DadAwesome Store During the Mother’s Day Sale (use code: MOMAWESOME) Maverick River Collective  Conversations in the Wild Podcast  Men of Mariners — Mariners Church Play the Man by Mark Batterson Draw the Circle by Mark Batterson Becoming a King by Morgan Snyder Resilient by John Eldredge   Connect with dadAWESOME  
Make a Donation to dadAWESOME Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team Receive weekly encouragement by texting "dad" to 651-370-8618  

In this episode, Dean Deguara reflects on how he identified his children's purpose through prayer and prophecy. He details the practical ways he and his wife raised their kids to be resilient and bold, from bedtime prayers to meaningful car ride conversations and more. 
  Key Takeaways  
God will give you clues about your kid's purpose.  The small deposits of time add up.  Be just as competitive about your kid's purpose as their performance.  Teach your children how to make good choices on their own.   Dean Deguara  
Dean Deguara is the lead pastor of Real Life Church in Sacramento, California. He and his wife, Amy, have been married for 30 years and have two adult children. 
  Key Quotes  
16:56 - "We were a family on mission. And so wherever we went, we tried to be the same people we were in public, that we were in private. And then just allowing our influence to be who we are." 26:16 - "One of the biggest things I like to encourage is teach your children how to make good choices on their own. As they're growing up, I think a lot of times we wait for these big transitional moments for our kids to make these [big decisions], where there's just a lot of pressure. Now [they] have to make a decision, where you're going to go to college and we didn't give them and we didn't allow them to make any choices until those biggest choices in life. We just started in the safety of our home and the safety of our family, just giving our kids opportunities to make big decisions."   Links from Today’s Conversation  
Get 15% off the DadAwesome Store During the Mother’s Day Sale Detours: The Unpredictable Path to Your Destiny by Tony Evans Real Life Church   Connect with dadAWESOME  
Make a Donation to dadAWESOME Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team Receive weekly encouragement by texting "dad" to 651-370-8618  

One day, your child will transition into a young adult. Fathers play an essential role in recognizing those moments through ceremony and celebration. In the second half of this conversation, Michael Warren explores how dads can support their children by welcoming them into a larger community and fostering a sense of belonging. 
  Key Takeaways  
Don't talk about it; be about it. Present your son to a community of men and vocalize why he belongs there.  Create milestone moments for all of your children.  Make the courageous call to the person you think would be willing to meet with you to talk about being a dad.    Michael Warren  
Michael Warren is a dad of four who is passionate about equipping fathers to lead their sons into REAL masculinity. He lives in Anchorage, Alaska, where he facilitates the Alaska Knights program at ChangePoint.
  Key Quotes  
4:31 - "When it comes to my daughter, it's been a little extra work. I've had to learn a lot about her heart, a lot about how God has made her, it's been a little slower for me, and I've had to run some experiments and try things out. What's caused me to not give up and all that's complex and, quite frankly, confusing to me sometimes, about pursuing the heart of preteen, early teen daughter has been this, I'm going to reject passivity and expect the greater reward by stepping in and creating some milestones for her, too." 20:26 - "If there's something that you want, what responsibility comes with the burden? What responsibility comes with a heightened sense of urgency? And that's not to shame, guilt, pressure, it's not about that. If this is on your heart, I would say just move with it. Find another person and just take the next step. Our God is a God of next steps, practical next steps. Because what kind of a God would He be if He showed us the entire landscape and made us feel overwhelmed and discouraged? That's not His character. "   Links from Today’s Conversation  
DadAwesome Activation Events  Host an Event in Your Area: Contact Us  Alaska Knights: Raising a Modern Day Knight Raising a Modern-Day Knight: A Father's Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood by Robert Lewis   Connect with dadAWESOME  
Make a Donation to dadAWESOME Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team Receive weekly encouragement by texting "dad" to 651-370-8618  

Michael Warren is passionate about equipping fathers and mentors to guide young boys into manhood. His goal is to facilitate adventure moments that give sons an answer to the question, “When did I become a man?” In part one of this conversation, Michael describes how dads can define and model the timeless principles of manhood to their kids. 
 
  Key Takeaways  
Fathers must communicate a clear definition of manhood.  Middle school is a strategic time to start calling boys up and out of the home—away from distractions like video games—and into learning led by dad.  A REAL man Rejects passivity, Expects God’s greater rewards, Accepts responsibility, and Leads courageously.  REAL men have a work to do, a will to obey, a woman to love, and a world to serve.   Michael Warren  
Michael Warren is a dad of four who is passionate about equipping fathers to lead their sons into REAL masculinity. He lives in Anchorage, Alaska, where he facilitates the Alaska Knights program at ChangePoint.
  Key Quotes  
17:38 - "The longevity that we've enjoyed has been tied to the fact that it's really transforming men's hearts and their families and the definition of manhood and the context that we teach, where that definition plays out are really transferable and in every season." 20:54 - "A real man, R-E-A-L, R, rejects passivity. A man rejects passivity. E, expects God's greater reward. A, accepts responsibility, and L, leads courageously. So, rejects passivity, expects God's greater reward, accepts responsibility, leads courageously. Expect God's greater reward, what does that mean? Well, that means delayed gratification. That is a principle that every man needs to entertain and think about. I'm going to make sacrifice now, but I know what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. I've got energy, I've got time, I have my purity. I have these things that are God given that once I spend them, I don't get them back. Those are the main principles, this R-E-A-L. What's important to mention is that we call them the four W's. The four W's are the contexts where you can directly apply the R-E-A-L. So the four W's arem a man has a work to do, a will to obey, a woman to love and a world to serve."   Links from Today’s Conversation  
Spring 2024 DadAwesome Accelerator Group: Email awesome@dadawesome.org to learn more   Raising a Modern-Day Knight: A Father's Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood by Robert Lewis 215 | Creating Ceremonies, Building Life-Changing Committed Friendships & Raising Modern Day Knights (Robert Lewis)
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Make a Donation to dadAWESOME Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team Receive weekly encouragement by texting "dad" to 651-370-8618  

Ian Smith joins us in this episode with passionate ideas to help dads enjoy fatherhood more. He shares his habits of looking for adventure in the challenge, asking hard questions, and taking ownership of mistakes. His energetic spirit will help you reframe your perspective on parenting so you can show up with renewed purpose.
 
 
Key Takeaways  
You can enjoy fatherhood more when you view it as an adventure and a good challenge.  Get big enough on the inside to own it when something’s not great. Nothing brings more stability and security to a family than a dad who submits to the authority of the Heavenly Father.  Get out of the ditch of passivity by taking action.  Build up your kids and reinforce their identity through positive language.   Ian Smith  
Ian Smith is an entrepreneur, former pastor, coach, and mentor living in Winnipeg, Canada. He has been married to his wife for 25 years and has six children. Ian is passionate about helping others go from feeling frustrated and apathetic in their faith to seeing real, lasting change in their lives.
  Key Quotes  
24:11  "There's all of this stuff that we go through and situations and fears we have, it's natural. But we can learn to cope with them in such bad ways or we can numb ourselves. We can get complacent. We can Netflix ourselves, drink ourselves, sports ourselves, work ourselves, tax ourselves out of it all. [Instead] of actually dealing with it and never dealing with it. And all that's going to do is continue to hurt us, which then is gonna hurt our family." 35:50 - "[Telling myself] I'm going to make a change and get on the path, and you'll find you'll walk out of that thing really quickly with accountability and a little bit of a vision about where you want to go. That's a really important piece too, is if you don't like the life you have, start envisioning the one you want and let that burn on the inside of you. You'll be amazed that when you have the what you want start to settle in your heart, the how is going to make itself known to."   Links from Today’s Conversation  
Spring 2024 DadAwesome Accelerator Group: Email awesome@dadawesome.org to learn more   Hero Collective Spiritual Slavery to Spiritual Sonship: Your Destiny Awaits You by Jack Frost   Connect with dadAWESOME  
Make a Donation to dadAWESOME Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team Receive weekly encouragement by texting "dad" to 651-370-8618