The Imperfects

Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg
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  • Mental Health
  • Updated weekly

We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.

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  1. 10 hr ago

    My Brilliant Career Took Years of Rejection

    Have you ever watched the person you love most get everything you ever wanted? Did you harden around envy, or shrink with comparison? Were you able to find happiness for their success? Philippa Northeast, Logie nominated and lead of Netflix’s My Brilliant Career, is a star quickly rising. Her most significant role? The little sister of our producer, Bridge. 💌Join 9,400+ others in our newsletter community - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Joining us as a guest host, Producer Bridge, alongside Hugh, Josh and Ryan, discuss the years of failure and rejection behind the scenes of Pip’s overnight success. Constantly aware of the need to prove herself a success, Philippa is completely vulnerable about the obsession that came from certain rejections, and her anxiety which manifested itself as trichotillomania. Offering a unique and intimate perspective, both Bridge and Josh reflect on their respective siblings’ success, and how that has shaped their own identity. It’s sibling vs sibling, and only one will make it out alive (kidding, it has a happy ending). 0:00 – Meet Producer Bridge’s Little Sister5:43 – Pip’s Brilliant Career: From Home & Away to Netflix Star11:39 – Middle Child Syndrome19:28 – Sibling Comparison: Cricket and Drama Solos20:55 – Finding Success Straight Out of High School22:56 – Self-belief vs Self-doubt: Why Pip Took The Leap and Bridget Didn’t25:30 – Feeling Over-shadowed, and Under Pressure28:00 – Becoming an Unemployed Clown29:17 – The Sensational Potter Backup Plan34:01 – Getting Undressed (Again)35:46 – The Hollywood Grind37:32 – Lockdown, Isolation and Growing Doubt46:15 – Obsession born from Rejection51:49 – What Loneliness in the Acting Industry Feels Like52:46 – The Body Keeps Score: Trichotillomania54:47 – Healing: Journalling, Yoga, Grounding57:04 – The Hallmark Offer That Changed Everything1:03:39 – The Downside of Growing Up Next To A Rising Star1:07:29 – Choosing Pride Over Jealousy1:09:49 – The Upside of Losing to Claudia Karvan 🫖 Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode Claudia Karvan - Love, Her Way - https://bit.ly/3UNr9LC What’s Your ATAR? - https://bit.ly/4zQ4AG5 📺 Things to watch My Brilliant Career - https://bit.ly/4zPaW8L Family Next Door - https://bit.ly/4gEp0cw Newsreader - https://bit.ly/3UNr4ri A Royal Runaway Romance - https://bit.ly/3V8rGb2 Standing Up For Sunny - https://bit.ly/4xyeASP 🎧 Things to listen to Undressed by Sombr - https://bit.ly/4wY9Ipf 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    My Brilliant Career Took Years of Rejection

  2. 23 Aug

    How Childhood Cancer Motivated One of the World’s Greatest Chefs

    How does having cancer as a child impact the way you live as an adult? Uber successful chef and restauranteur Josh Niland doesn’t do things in halves (no, literally, have you read his book The Whole Fish?). From opening a restaurant at 26, to becoming the first Australian to win the James Beard Book of the Year award when he was just 30, Josh’s creativity came from a place of desperation to explore every opportunity presented to him. 💌Join 9,400+ people getting a Dr Emily values worksheet and takeaways from this week’s episode in our newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Diagnosed with cancer 2 days after his 8th birthday, Josh’s childhood transformed in a matter of hours into hospital hallways, chemotherapy and facing his own mortality. In this episode, Josh joins us in the Vulnerabilitea House to talk us through an experience which profoundly changed him, which he is now grateful for. Hugh, Ryan and Josh (our Josh), also ask about where his drive and ambitious creativity comes from, and just how close to failure Josh’s culinary career came. We wish this chat could have gone on longer, If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/hjZPPeKKsVA  🫖Other Imperfect’s episodes mentioned on this episode Nathan Cavaleri - The Ups & The Blues - https://bit.ly/468HE7l 📺 Things to watch Josh’s Australian Story - https://bit.ly/4giDtKR 📚Things to read Saint Peter: Chapter & Verse, by Josh Niland - https://bit.ly/4bVM0SN The Whole Fish, by Josh Niland - https://bit.ly/4bVM0SN 🍽️ Places to eat Saint Peter - https://bit.ly/4qrs4gv 💻Things to check out Starlight Children’s Foundation - https://bit.ly/4hHDkmM Josh Niland’s Website - https://www.mrniland.com 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    How Childhood Cancer Motivated One of the World’s Greatest Chefs

  3. 12 Aug • Subscribers Only

    Where does shame come from?

    If you loved this week’s episode on shame … there’s more. After we stopped recording, Producer Bell had just a few more questions. - Where does shame come from? - And how do we meet someone’s shame with compassion, when what they have done violates our own values? So join us, as Dr Emily explores why shame is an echo of our past, and the practical steps to follow when we are met with someone else’s shame. It would a shame to miss. Head to A Little More Imperfects at https://www.patreon.com/theimperfects to watch.

    Where does shame come from?

  4. 9 Aug

    The Nature of Being Alone

    Can nature help us to feel less alone? 💌Join 9,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/  Psychologist on the incredible, Alone Australia series (remember our seminal episode with Gina Chick?), Mark Mathieson is in the Academy of Imperfection to help us understand how nature regulates our body, and how we can reconnect to it in this digital age. Mark talks about how to uncover the person behind the persona, the science behind gardening, and why Hugh had the best sleep of his life in a tent, with no pillow. According to Mark, human are immensely capable of change, and this episode provides a few things we can do to ensure nature is incorporated into our routines, without cramming the schedule more. Mark, it was great to be alone . . . with you. If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIMSSRJg2vQ 0:00 – Ice breaker: where have we gone wrong? 6:58 – The segmentation of exercise 11:46 – Evolution of Mark 18:53 – Person behind the persona 24:10 – Our virtual reality future 27:22 – Let’s learn to adapt 36:00 – Building relationships with nature 42:28 – The science of gardening and sunshine 48:53 – Eventually, reality TV gets us all 53:08 – Big city blues 🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode Gina Chick - Don’t Fight Life - https://bit.ly/4xj0kga Sean Turnell - A Prisoner’s Guide to Life - https://bit.ly/4btNKCu Sex for Normal People with Ita O’Brien - https://bit.ly/4btNNya Dr Emily - The (pesky) Hedonistic Treadmill - https://bit.ly/4yXxx2B Dr Paul Callaghan - How To Follow The Dreaming Path - https://bit.ly/457l9PY 📚Things to read Comfort Crisis, by Michael Easter - https://bit.ly/4pV10Ga The Dreaming Path, by Dr Paul Callaghan and Uncle Paul Gordon - https://bit.ly/4gctqrZ 📺 Things to watch Alone Australia (new season out now) - https://bit.ly/4yWVW8n 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects All views expressed in this podcast are Mark Mathieson’s and not representative of the Department of Defence, Australia. The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    The Nature of Being Alone

  5. 20 Jul • Subscribers Only

    One For The Highly Sensitive People Out There (with Psychologist Janelle Booker)

    Do highly sensitive people have what it takes to be parents? Welcoming back psychologist Janelle Booker (ADHD and Highly Sensitive Person specialist) for A Little More Questions, Bridge and Josh discuss how you may prepare to become a parent if you identify as a highly sensitive person, OR how you can support your highly sensitive partner. Kids are gross. And loud. And overwhelming. All. The. Time. But, this isn’t the end of the world for highly sensitive people wanting to become parents. Answering your questions, Janelle talks through how HSP parents can put in boundaries with their kids without being “the worst in the whole world,” and why people pleasing is much more akin to self-abandonment. There is SO MUCH in this episode. 🫖Things we mentioned Janelle Hamish episode - NEED LINK Janelle Booker - Living With ADHD - https://bit.ly/4oD0yfe Janelle’s website - https://bit.ly/3BZimwO How do you know you’re in a thinking trap? - https://bit.ly/44fvIjk Elaine Aron - https://bit.ly/4eYlO9H Spot the difference study - https://bit.ly/4oFABf0 Lael Stone - Parent Yourself First - https://bit.ly/4oIohe8 Dr Emily - Compassion of The Self - https://bit.ly/3SPuEjC Maggie Dent - “Good Enough” Parenting is Good Enough - https://bit.ly/4vfwngw The Orchid and The Dandelion, by Thomas Boyce - https://bit.ly/4escA6s Quiet, by Susan Cain - https://bit.ly/3SRjQBx

    One For The Highly Sensitive People Out There (with Psychologist Janelle Booker)

  6. 13 Jul • Subscribers Only

    Why Hugh Was Naked At The Office

    What shenanigans did Hugh get up to this week? Hint: it involves the work shower and a missing towel. Also in this episode, we hold another semi-regular book club to talk about a bit from a book that changed Producer Bell’s life a bit. We pull a reflection from the pond, and ponder (let it be known that George came up with this pun first) about what lights us up that we’re no longer doing. And FINALLY Ryan gets a chance to talk about his mixed netball talents. And then Hugh brings a quote, and promises to drive more engagement in patreon. 🎧 Things we talked about on this episode - A Place of Greater Safety, by Hilary Mantel - https://bit.ly/4oJT1ex - To send in a reflection to the pond - www.theimperfects.com.au/contact

    Why Hugh Was Naked At The Office

  7. 12 Jul

    Dr Emily - You, Me & Jealousy

    To be jealous is to be human. It is what you do with that feeling that counts. 💌Join 8,300+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Our resident psychologist Dr Emily Musgrove is in the studio to talk about THAT podcast moment: the one where Ryan admitted he was jealous of Hugh and Hamish Blake’s relationship. The one that lives in Imperfects history. According to Dr Em, we develop the emotion of jealousy at just 9 months old, and it shows up everywhere; family, work, school, friends. Feelings around jealousy can be extremely painful, especially if it is accompanied by shame. In this episode, Dr Emily explores why jealousy can be so dangerous when not listened to, and why our jealous behaviour can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. See you on the other side. If you want to watch this full video on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/dlufNQ7iXCc 00:00 - The Day Has Arrived 02:48 - When Ryan Revealed He Was Jealous of Hugh & Hamish 7:45 - Shame Tells You Not To Speak It 10:02 - Harry Styles Walks Into a Super Market 15:54 - You’re Making My Dog Jealous 22:31 - Feeling Jealous vs Being Jealous 43:49 - Hugh, Ryan & Hamish: 4 Years Later 47:50 - How To Have The Conversation (And Build Trust) 59:32 - You Can Feel Jealous AND Still Trust🫖 Episodes mentioned in this episode Hamish Blake - Let’s Talk About Self Doubt - https://bit.ly/3QG8MXo 💻Things to check out Uncertainty vs inevitable pain study - https://bit.ly/43NWFKQ 🎵Songs to listen to Jealous Guy by John Lennon - https://bit.ly/43NWzCY 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Dr Emily - You, Me & Jealousy

  8. 14 Jun

    Dr Emily - You're Full of Grit

    Do you think you have grit? 💌Join 8,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Research has shown that the most common characteristic of elite performers and high achievers is grit. Understood as the passion and perseverance for very long term goals, Grit is not about natural ability or talent, but rather how we choose to grow. Your favourite resident psychologist, Dr Emily Musgrove, is back in the studio this week to talk about how you can become a grittier person! We also look inward, as Josh asks how to maintain grit when it feels like your inner critic is overwhelmingly loud. Dr Em, so great to have you back. 0:00 – Down with the nonchalance! 5:43 – Talent vs Excellence10:40 – Interested in finding your interests16:42 – For the non-naturals in the room 24:22 – Effort is essential for excellence 32:17 – Practicing, kindly 35:01 – Hope is earned 42:06 – The good and bad criticism53:45 – Encountering pain and discomfort 59:54 – For the greater good 1:06:09 – The dark side of perseverance If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, click here - https://youtu.be/JmcLV7DGL4k  🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode Dyson Heppell - Whatever It Takes… To Forgive - https://bit.ly/4egeneO Nedd Brockmann - The Man, The Myth, The Neddgend - https://bit.ly/4egfATo Dr Emily - Hope - https://bit.ly/43YalTr Bri Lee - Babies+Climate=Anxiety - https://bit.ly/4xlrYdl How I Built ‘Dis’ - The Resilience Project Story - https://bit.ly/4aH0dSP 📚Things to read Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth - https://bit.ly/4vzoe6o Self-efficacy, by Albert Bandura - https://bit.ly/4fx4KdW Master of Change, by Brad Stulberg - https://bit.ly/4xCbUEv Peak: Secrets from the New Science of Expertise, by Anders Ericsson - https://bit.ly/3Q9cIje 📺Things to watch THE GAP, by Ira Glass - https://bit.ly/4xjkuHL ⭐️Things to donate to JMB Foundation - https://jmbfoundation.org.au 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Dr Emily - You're Full of Grit
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Hosts & Guests

About

We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.

Information

  • Creator
    Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg
  • Years Active
    2019 - 2026
  • Episodes
    344
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg
  • Show Website
    The Imperfects
  • Provider
    The Imperfects Podcast Pty Ltd

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