You can do everything right. You can love someone with everything in you. But if you don't understand that the adhesive holding your relationship together is not your love for each other but your individual obedience to God, if you don't cultivate your partner the way you tend to a flower, and if you're not intentional about leaning into softness while doing the hard parts, you'll miss the foundation that makes everything else work. In this deeply personal, profoundly insightful episode of Unbroken Podcast, host Richard Akita sits down with Kojo Nganue, curator at One Man Thousand, for an unfiltered conversation that will challenge everything you think you know about what it takes to build a marriage that lasts, why love alone is never enough, and the uncomfortable truth that cultivation means taking care of your partner like a plant so they can lean into their softness while you do the hard parts. Kojo holds nothing back. He breaks down why the problem with his past relationships was not that the women didn't embody his ideal but that individually they were not in pursuit of the adhesive, why he relied on his own willpower which depletes instead of trusting somebody who is omniscient and omnipresent, and the one thing that finally clicked: his obedience to God. He reveals why it took two years before he could pop the question because he had to meet her father who is a big man he admired even before he knew his daughter, how he spoke to his brother his dad and her aunt before approaching him and when they finally met they talked for an hour and a half, and the moment he realized that his love for his woman cannot be compared to the love God has for him or for her but as long as their love is a subset of God's love for them they are sustained. He also explains why cultivation means taking care of you like a plant like a flower, how being stronger than you means he can nurture you protect you and do things you could have done on your own so you can lean into your softness, and the one thing every man needs to understand: the thing that keeps him in check is not his love for his woman but his love for God and his faithfulness to him. This isn't just relationship advice. It's a masterclass in understanding why arranged marriages work because there's an ideal higher than the love they have for each other and they work towards that and more often than not they now start to love each other, why love for love's sake is great but the unfortunate thing is how do you define that love is it based on your feelings or what he's doing or how he spoke to you today, and how when these things are taken away will the love abide. Kojo dives into why the focus has to be one whether there's a God factor or no God factor there has to be something that they're both going for, how so far as they agree it will work because if two people can agree they'll be together, and the uncomfortable reality that the actual nurturing place is right here and if you can move this to any part of the world you can reproduce what you've reproduced. He also tackles why being single is a gift and marriage is a gift and either of them are states so this one is not an aspiration to this neither is this one an aspiration to this, how the five daughters of Zelophehad stood up for themselves as single individual women and changed the law of Israel on their own as single people, and the one thing every person needs to know: by yourself you can build your own things by yourself you're sustainable you can actually be independent as long as your dependence is from God. If you're in a relationship, wondering whether love is enough to hold you together, or asking yourself how to cultivate your partner the way God cultivates you, this conversation will give you the clarity, the language, and the courage to stop relying on your own willpower and start building a relationship where both of you pursue God first and let your love be a subset of God's love for you. Guest: Kojo Nganue ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 🎙️ ABOUT THE HOST Mr Richard Akita is a multifaceted relationship and life coach, author, entrepreneur, and corporate trainer with over 30–35 years of experience in management and personal development. IG: https://www.instagram.com/akitarichard/ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 🎧 ABOUT UNBROKEN PODCAST Unbroken Podcast is where stories meet truth. Hosted by Richard Akita, the show brings together thinkers, builders, healers, and disruptors to have the conversations most people are afraid to have about love, faith, identity, money, family, and the journey to becoming whole. Welcome to the new home of unfiltered wisdom. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 🔔 SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss the next episode 👍 LIKE if this conversation challenged you 📤 SHARE with someone who NEEDS to hear this
