S1EP2 | The Performance of Perfection | The House of My Mother: A Daughter's Quest for Freedom

Welcome to Season 1, Episode 2 of The Messy Podcast!

Tagline: The Performance of Perfection – A deep dive into Ruby’s curated online persona, Shari’s traumatic piano lessons, and the emotional neglect masked by a "perfect" family image.

In this episode, we explore:

• The Birth of "Good Lookin Home Cookin":

  • Launch of Ruby’s mommy blog in 2007 under the guise of “documenting family growth.”

  • Aspirational recipes (raspberry butter, trail mix cookies) vs. reality: Ruby rarely cooked the dishes she posted.

  • Expansion into other blogs like Full Suburban and Yummy Mummies, branding family photos with "It’s A Franke Life."

• Shari’s Piano Lessons: A Tool for Control:

  • Daily 6:00 a.m. practice sessions under Ruby’s supervision.

  • Ruby’s rage: Slapping Shari’s arm, flicking her lips, or tugging her ears for “wrong facial expressions” or mistakes.

  • The piano teacher incident: Shari’s panic when Ruby’s judgment clashed with the teacher’s feedback.

• Emotional Neglect and Hidden Anguish:

  • Shari’s chronic stomach pain and anxiety dismissed as “colic” or attention-seeking.

  • Night terrors about demonic possession, fueled by LDS teachings on evil spirits.

  • Journal entry: “Mommy isn’t very nice to me.”

• Ruby’s Explosive Temper:

  • “Military-style” punishments: Forcing Shari and Chad to run laps or do pushups for minor infractions.

  • The haircut incident: Ruby buzzes Chad’s hair into a reverse mohawk as retaliation for cutting Shari’s hair.

  • Slapping Shari for showing discomfort during piano practice.

• The Curated Family Image:

  • Ruby’s blog tagline: “A place for my children to see how they’ve progressed” vs. reality of staged perfection.

  • Nolly the Labrador: The dog provided Shari more emotional support than Ruby during piano sessions.

Key Quotes from the Book:

• “Ruby’s blog recipes were aspirational. I’m not sure she ever made those dishes.”

• “I learned my pain didn’t matter. My needs were inconvenient.”

• “Mommy isn’t very nice to me.”

• “In this house, we don’t make excuses for other people’s bad behavior.” (Ruby to Shari after punishing Chad).

Themes to Highlight:

• Performance vs. Reality: The disconnect between Ruby’s wholesome online persona and her volatile home life.

• Religious Scrupulosity: How LDS teachings on demons intensified Shari’s childhood fears.

• Emotional Neglect: Ruby’s dismissal of Shari’s physical/emotional pain as “weakness.”

• Generational Trauma: Ruby repeating her strict upbringing, using parenting as a tool for control.

Narration & Discussion Points:

• Ruby’s Motivations: Was the blog a creative outlet, a bid for validation, or a precursor to her YouTube empire?

• Impact of Early Public Exposure: How did Shari’s childhood as a “content prop” shape her self-worth?

• Religious Context: Analyze the role of LDS values in justifying Ruby’s harsh discipline.

• Psychological Toll: Link Shari’s anxiety/self-loathing (e.g., lip-picking, journal entries) to Ruby’s neglect.

Recommended Interviews:

• Child Psychologist: Discuss long-term effects of emotional neglect and strict discipline on development.

• Family Vlogging Historian: Explore Utah’s blogging culture and its ties to LDS values.

• Ethics Expert: Debate the morality of monetizing family life without children’s consent.

Soundtrack Suggestions:

• Tense piano melodies.

• Distorted, eerie tones during demon-nightmare sequences.

• Upbeat kitchen sounds (contrasting Ruby’s “domestic bliss” facade).

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