Anger Secrets

Alastair Duhs

The Anger Secrets podcast is a weekly show that covers everything you need to know about anger management. Hosted by Anger Expert Alastair Duhs, this podcast offers valuable tips, techniques and strategies for controlling your anger, mastering your emotions and creating calmer, happier and more loving relationships. The Anger Secrets podcast is perfect for anyone who is looking for proven tools and techniques to control their anger and create calmer, happier and more respectful relationships with those they love. If you're ready to learn how to control your anger and live the calmer, happy and more respectful life you want, this podcast is for you. Join us on the journey to anger management mastery today! For more information on how to control your anger, visit AngerSecrets.com.

  1. 1 DAY AGO

    170 - Understanding Your Anger Triggers

    For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com. Have you ever gone from calm to furious in a matter of seconds, and only afterwards wondered, “Where did that come from?” In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why anger rarely comes out of nowhere. Instead, it’s usually triggered by long-standing patterns that quietly shape how you react in relationships, at work and under stress. You’ll learn what anger triggers really are, where they come from, and why recognising them early gives you the power to slow things down before anger takes control. What you’ll learn in this episode: What anger triggers are and why they feel automaticWhy small moments can activate intense emotional reactionsCommon anger triggers, including feeling disrespected, criticised, or overwhelmedHow past experiences and stress fuel present-day angerWhy awareness is the first step to real anger control Practical tools discussed: Identifying your personal anger triggers through reflectionUsing a diary or journal to spot patterns in your angerRecognising early warning signs before anger escalatesChallenging unhelpful thoughts through cognitive reframingWhen to seek professional support to speed up change Want help with this? If you want support identifying and managing your anger triggers: Watch the free training on breaking the anger cycleBook a free 30-minute Anger Assessment CallLearn more about The Complete Anger Management System Visit angersecrets.com to get started. Once you can recognise your anger triggers, you’re no longer at their mercy. And remember: You can’t control other people, but you can control yourself.

    11 min
  2. 24 JAN

    169 - Is Your Anger Healthy or Harmful?

    For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com. Is anger always a bad thing? Or are there times when feeling angry actually makes sense? In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why anger itself isn’t the problem. The real damage happens when anger is either suppressed or expressed in ways that hurt relationships. You’ll learn what healthy anger really looks like, how it differs from destructive anger and how to express anger in a way that protects trust, communication and emotional safety. What you’ll learn in this episode Why anger is a normal and necessary human emotionThe difference between healthy, assertive anger and destructive angerHow unhealthy anger damages trust and connection over timeReal-life examples of responding to anger at work and in relationshipsPractical ways to express anger calmly, clearly, and respectfully Key principles of healthy anger: Healthy anger is expressed, not suppressedIt is assertive, not aggressiveIt focuses on solutions rather than blameIt respects both your needs and the needs of others Practical tips covered: Pause before reacting and reflect on what’s really going onUse “I” statements instead of blame or accusationFocus on problem-solving rather than winningSet clear, respectful boundariesPractice forgiveness to avoid carrying resentment Want help applying this? If you’d like support learning how to express anger in healthier ways: Watch the free training on breaking the anger cycleBook a free 30-minute Anger Assessment CallLearn more about The Complete Anger Management System Visit angersecrets.com to get started. Anger doesn’t need to be eliminated. It needs to be understood and used wisely. And remember: You can’t control other people, but you can control yourself.

    10 min
  3. 17 JAN

    168 - The Small Moments That Are Quietly Destroying Your Relationship

    For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com. Why is it that one small comment can turn into a full-blown argument in some relationships, while in others, it barely causes a ripple? In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why relationships don’t usually break down because of the big arguments. They unravel through hundreds of small moments that slowly erode trust, safety and goodwill. You’ll learn a powerful concept that explains why the same words can feel harmless one day and deeply triggering the next, and how small, practical shifts can dramatically change the emotional climate of your relationship. What you’ll learn in this episode: Why small moments often matter more than big argumentsThe difference between positive and negative sentiment overrideHow stress, resentment and anger quietly change how partners interpret each otherWhy neutral comments can start to feel critical or attackingThree simple shifts that help keep relationships emotionally safe and resilient Three practical shifts discussed: Let your partner influence you — resentment grows when one person feels unheardIncrease expressions of appreciation — positive interactions must be intentionalTurn towards each other — small responses build emotional safety over time Want help applying this? If you’re noticing your relationship feels tense, reactive or fragile, support is available: Watch the free training on breaking the anger cycleBook a free 30-minute Anger Assessment CallLearn more about The Complete Anger Management System Visit angersecrets.com to get started. Relationships aren’t usually damaged in one big moment. They change direction through small choices made every day. And remember: You can’t control other people, but you can control yourself.

    10 min
  4. 10 JAN

    167 - Five Steps to Rebuild a Relationship After Separation

    For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com. What do you do when the person you love no longer wants to be with you, and anger, fear or past behaviour has broken trust? In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs speaks directly to those facing one of the hardest moments in a relationship: separation caused by anger issues. With honesty and realism, he explains why rebuilding trust takes time, and outlines a clear, step-by-step path forward for those who are genuinely committed to change. This isn’t about quick fixes or saying the right words. It’s about doing the work that actually matters. What you’ll learn in this episode Why rebuilding a relationship after separation is possible, but cannot be rushedThe first thing you must address before any reconciliation can happenWhy taking full responsibility for the impact of your anger is essentialWhen (and when not) to re-establish contact with your partnerHow to show real, lasting change in ways your partner can trustWhat it takes to build a healthier relationship together moving forward The five steps covered in the episode: Deal with your anger, abuse, or violence issuesAccept responsibility for the impact your behaviour has hadRe-establish contact only when appropriateShow consistent evidence of real changeWork on creating a different relationship together Need support with this? If you want help managing your anger or guidance on rebuilding your relationship: Watch the free training on breaking the anger cycleBook a free 30-minute Anger Assessment CallLearn more about The Complete Anger Management System All options are available at angersecrets.com. Rebuilding a relationship after separation isn’t easy — but with commitment, patience and the right support, it can be done. And remember: You can’t control other people, but you can control yourself.

    12 min
  5. 3 JAN

    166 - How to Handle Anger in Your Relationship

    For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com. Have you ever gone to bed replaying an argument over and over in your mind, wishing you’d said things differently, wishing you’d stayed calmer or wishing the damage hadn’t been done? If so, you’re not alone. And more importantly, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad partner or a bad person. It means something inside you is trying to tell you something, and learning how to listen to that signal can change everything. In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, host Alastair Duhs shares four practical, grounded strategies to help you handle anger in your relationship before it causes regret, distance or lasting damage. Rather than suppressing anger or blaming yourself, you’ll learn how to understand what’s really driving it, and how to respond in a calmer, more constructive way. Anger isn’t the real problem. Losing control of it is. And that’s something you can learn to change. What you’ll learn in this episode Why understanding your anger triggers is the first step to lasting changeHow poor communication quietly fuels resentment and emotional explosionsThe powerful link between stress and anger, and how to break itA simple mindset shift that helps couples stop fighting each other and start working togetherWhy anger is a signal, not a flaw — and how to respond to it differently Why this matters Unmanaged anger doesn’t just disappear on its own. Over time, it erodes trust, creates emotional distance and can turn even small disagreements into painful conflicts. The good news? When you understand what triggers your anger, learn how to communicate openly, manage stress and remember that you and your partner are on the same team, arguments lose their intensity and connection becomes possible again. These aren’t complicated techniques. They’re practical skills you can start using immediately. Key ideas from the episode Anger often comes from feeling unheard, disrespected, or overwhelmed — not from the situation itselfRegular, safe conversations (like a Weekly Relationship Check-In) prevent resentment from buildingHigh stress lowers your ability to stay calm — managing stress is essential to controlling angerWhen couples stop trying to “win” arguments and start seeking understanding, everything changes Ready to take the next step? If you want help applying these ideas to your own relationship, you have a few options: -Watch the free training on how to break the anger cycle -Book a free 30-minute Anger Assessment Call to talk through your situation -Learn more about The Complete Anger Management System You’ll find all of these at angersecrets.com.

    11 min

About

The Anger Secrets podcast is a weekly show that covers everything you need to know about anger management. Hosted by Anger Expert Alastair Duhs, this podcast offers valuable tips, techniques and strategies for controlling your anger, mastering your emotions and creating calmer, happier and more loving relationships. The Anger Secrets podcast is perfect for anyone who is looking for proven tools and techniques to control their anger and create calmer, happier and more respectful relationships with those they love. If you're ready to learn how to control your anger and live the calmer, happy and more respectful life you want, this podcast is for you. Join us on the journey to anger management mastery today! For more information on how to control your anger, visit AngerSecrets.com.

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