2 APR

AA: How many government ministers does it take to mess up SEN Policy?

It's the Easter break, and the children are broken up, so how has the last term been? Meanwhile Carl and Martin reflect on recent changes announced by the government on SEN provision. There'll be more on this in coming episodes, but the boys question just how many classrooms the ministers have actually been inside.

44 min

26 MAR

AA: Dealing with trauma, this time caused by the government

What happens when funding you have relied on is taken away? The Adoption and Special Guardianship Support Fund is a UK government fund that provides money for therapeutic support to adopted children, plus those under special guardianship who have experienced trauma. It helps families access specialist assessments and therapy to support children’s emotional wellbeing and stability. Before April 2025 the fund had two specific limits: £5,000 per child, per year for therapy and £2,500 per child, per year for specialist assessments Extra funding could be match-funded up to a sum of £30,000 in the most complex cases. But the government thought that this was too much and so cut funding from £5,000 to £3,000 per child, per year and a separate assessment allowance, worth £2,500 was removed and now included within the £3,000 total. Match funding scrapped, so no extra funding above the limit is available and support had to be completed within the financial year (no multi-year packages) . Adoption organisations and adopters reacted with a mix of anger, anxiety and consternation. Many reported deep concerns and a widespread feeling of being left in limbo with much uncertainty. In this episode Carl and Martin are joined by journalist and adopter, Lisa Mainwaring, plus campaigners Clare Solomons and Euan Preston to discuss how we can make our voices heard. Maybe ministers should meet our children? Carl and Martin will be back with more on this, and so any questions or comments you have, please email us. Our email address is adopters.anonymous@gmail.com We also have a facebook page where you can find more content, PLUS a brand new tiktok account. Expect dancing, singing and general tomfoolery from the boys.

1hr 24min

14 FEB

AA: Navigating Big Days

'Big event days' are things we all look forward to. Fun times when families all get together, have fancy food, exchange gifts and generally celebrate with family and friends. Since adopting, my views of these occasions has changed. Now I'm slightly apprehensive about such days simply because of the anxiety they induce in our children and consequently, is as parents. We recorded this episode over Christmas last year and even though the episode has now been released much later than I'd hoped, the sentiment remains the same. We explore the impact big days have on our children and what, if anything, can we do about this? Christmas is SUCH an assault on the senses. Not just for a few days and weeks, but for months. Whilst we can't stop the tide of Christmas creeping into September, we can manage both the exposure to it and manage expectations. After all, essentially it's just one day, and one meal. So listen to how Christmas went for Carl and Martin in 2025.

34 min

05/12/2025

AA: It's Groundhog Day!

It's the most wonderful time of the year...for viruses, dark days, broken boilers and general fatigue. So, apologies for making a light-hearted episode. This is Carl and Martin comparing their lives to that of Bill Murray, the happy-go-lucky weatherman Phil Connors, caught in a seemingly never ending cycle of 'Groundhog Day'. When routine bites hard and ambitions are low...sounds like the start of a song...but it sums up how the boys are feeling. They're longing for a glimmer of sunshine, or something, to break the monotony of the daily routine. This episode discusses the importance of that routine to our children, but also how dull it can be when you switch on the auto pilot. Please follow us on Facebook or email us to join the conversation: adopters.anonymous@gmail.com

36 min

03/11/2025

AA: Sleep...Nah, it's overrated!

How well do your children sleep? And how well do you sleep? If you have adopted children, I doubt very much that they got the required 10-12 hours children need to prepare them for the day ahead. And if the children aren't asleep, then usually neither are we. In this episode of Adopters Anonymous, Carl and Martin share experiences of helping their children to get the sleep they need. It's complex routine that involves musical beds, painful backs, cricks in necks, bruises on arms, medication and frustration. A 2017 UK study of children adopted from care found 50–60% of adoptive parents reported sleep problems, compared to about 20–25% in the general population. So what does that look like, or rather what does that feel like? Plus, why is sleep so challenging in adopted children? Here's a clue: deep seated trauma. Carl and Martin unpack how neglect, abuse and disruption can leave children fearful of what should be the loveliest time of the day: bed time. Follow us on Facebook by searching for Adopters Anonymous, or drop us an email: adopters.anonymous@gmail.com We'd love to hear from you.

50 min

12/09/2025

AA: Every now and then we need to let it all out

Adoption is no easy ride. And sometimes the relentless cycle of caring for a small person and very little respite can really wear you down. The summer holidays are long and the challenge to fill the days with memory making activities seems endless and so what happens when you hit a bit of a wall? That's how Carl felt this August. A simple video message to Martin rang an alarm bell and three days later Carl found himself in the podcast producer's comfy chair, sharing his woes. We all feel like this sometimes. What we want to share is the need to find people to talk to, and keep talking. We want to hear from you, so follow us on Facebook and email us at adopters.anonymous@gmail.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

58 min

22/08/2025

AA: The Endless Summer

The Summer Holidays. Three little words that fill kids with joy and some parents with dread. So how does the summer break affect adopted children? Is it any different to those who aren't? There are statistics and theories that suggest a change in routine has an impact, as our children much prefer like to experience familiar activities and locations, which is pretty much what you'd expect from someone who has had a disrupted early life. But challenges are similar to all children. How do you keep them from spending their entire days glued to one sort of screen or another? What's that old phrase? Keep calm and carry on? Yeah, good luck with that one. We'd love to hear from you, so please drop us a line. We're adopters.anonymous@gmail.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

46 min

18/07/2025

AA: Eyes Wide Open?

It's important to go into the adoption process with your eyes wide open, but how much do we really know about the complexity of the children we become parents of? This episode of Adopters Anonymous focusses on the medical conditions and diagnoses that accompany the children and what ramifications there maybe when parenting. Adopted children nowadays have a selection of needs, many of which will be completely new to parents, some even baffling medical professions, but for our adopters, there's no going back, despite the fact 'they're only adopted, the process can be stopped' as ne medical professional told one of our adopters. That is what we're up against as parents. To contact the podcast, email adopters.anonymous@gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

47 min

04/07/2025

AA: PACE

Trigger Warning: This episode contains an incident that some listeners may find disturbing. Therapeutic parenting is a phrase that all adopters will know. It's a way of defusing situations with the aim of doing so without blowing your top, which is sometimes a default reaction to certain explosions. But how useful is PACE? How easy is it to jump into action and remember the key ingredients? P for Playfulness, A for Acceptance, C for Curiosity and E for Empathy. That's a lot to think about when you're in the heat of the moment, in the middle of a meltdown. But recent events have changed the minds of the established non-believers, Martin and Carl. Chris recounts a moment that could have gone disastrously wrong had he not kept his head. And we also discover why our adopters decided to adopt in the first place. Remember you can contact us with your own experiences, totally confidentially and judgement free. Drop us an email at adopters.anonymous@gmail.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

52 min

04/07/2025

AA: Welcome to your new future

Adopters Anonymous reveals the reality of life as an adopter. Once you've jumped through all the official hoops and you have been approved as an adopter, your child or children arrive and they are officially yours. It's a time of sheer joy and excitement as you get to know each other, but it can also be a challenging time, that begins a life of emotional struggles, filled with love and tears. Told mainly through the eyes of dads, Adopters Anonymous documents what it is really like to adopt. To many it is a lonely place. Relationships change, your support network, which is vital, can drop through the floor. Throughout the experience, to have your voice heard is crucial. But the voices you hear in Adopters Anonymous have been incredibly lucky. They have formed a group that are there for each other. They listen, and support, without judgement. They offer advice and an ear when no-one else wants to listen, or cannot comprehend the reality. Today we meet Carl, Cris and Martin. And they'd love to support you too if you feel lost on your ;'journey'. They've been there, done that and wear the t-shirt. So, get in touch: adopters.anonymous@gmail.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

56 min

Adopters Anonymous

Episodes

AA: How many government ministers does it take to mess up SEN Policy?

AA: Dealing with trauma, this time caused by the government

AA: Navigating Big Days

AA: It's Groundhog Day!

AA: Sleep...Nah, it's overrated!

AA: Every now and then we need to let it all out

AA: The Endless Summer

AA: Eyes Wide Open?

AA: PACE

AA: Welcome to your new future

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