Wizard of Ads Monday Morning Memo

Roy H. Williams
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Thousands of people are starting their workweeks with smiles of invigoration as they log on to their computers to find their Monday Morning Memo just waiting to be devoured. Straight from the middle-of-the-night keystrokes of Roy H. Williams, the MMMemo is an insightful and provocative series of well-crafted thoughts about the life of business and the business of life.

  1. 3h ago

    The Island Magic of Being Invisible

    The Island Magic of Being Invisible(A Song for My Partners)Six months later, a thought occurred to me; Writing for Youtube is like writing for radio and TV. Every writer has at their disposal the same techniques and tools; microphones, sound effects and cameras of every kind. But if you will succeed you must limit yourself to the microphone of your keystrokes; the sound effects and cameras of your mind. When we hear the words of Shakespeare they become music in our ear, and when we hear Robert Frost we are no longer lost. Those rhythms, mental music, and refrains remind me of the language of the Bible of King James. So what now, shall we do? I will try to imitate them and you will, too. We will write words for television and radio. We will tell stories and our clients will get rich you know. We will write essays and teach everything we show. People will remember what we taught them but forget who told them that it was so. We will write songs that make singers comprehensible. But we ourselves will always be invisible. Why do we do this, you and I? We do it because we have to, we don’t need to know why. We do it because we feel compelled. Writing is the only time we don’t feel like we should be doing something else. Roy H. WilliamsPennie and I were in New York 40 years ago for ArtExpo in the Jacob K. Javits Center. We spent 3 days looking at more than 10,000 pieces of pieces of art and meeting many hundreds of artists as we walked those 500,000 square feet together. At the end of the show we went home with only 3 pieces, all of which were purchased from a relatively unknown Israeli artist named Reudor Gratch. We invited Reudor and his wife, Effie, to dinner that night at “One if By Land, Two if By Sea” in Greenwich Village. We had an incredible evening with them. The next day, I picked up a newspaper when I noticed that one of the serigraphs we had purchased from Reudor was one of only THREE pieces of art the newspaper had photographed for their review of that year’s ArtExpo. You can see it at the top of this page.

  2. Aug 17

    Impression vs. Clarity

    August 17, 2026 “Trust” is a fuzzy word. We know the meaning of the word, but it conjures no clear image in the mind. “Razor blade” is a vivid word. Every time you hear it, you can see that razor blade clearly on the visuospatial sketchpad of working memory – also known as your imagination – in the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex of your brain. Trust is abstract. Razor blade is concrete. Trust is an artistic, emotional, relational word. Razor blade is a scientific, logical, transactional word. If you are thinking, “Razor blade is not a word; it is two words,” please be aware that I know this. “Razor blade” is a 3-syllable construct that conjures a vivid, concrete image in the mind. But those 3 syllables* require the combination of two nouns, “razor” and “blade” to deliver clarity. Were I to say only “blade,” you might think of a sword or a pocket knife or the knife with which you carve the turkey at Thanksgiving. Were I to say only “razor,” you might think of that classic, metal shaving instrument that slowly opens to reveal a thin, double-edged blade when you twist the knob at the bottom of its handle. Or you might think of that black, blue and chrome Norelco Aquatec that currently lies in a drawer below the mirror gaze into which you gaze as you run that buzzing little beast over the stubble on your bleary-eyed face each morning. Yes, I know that “razor blade” is two words. But for the purpose of this essay, I am thinking of it only as a series of 3 syllables that deliver a concrete image. “Trust” is a single syllable that does not deliver a concrete image, but it does deliver a meaningful impression.Do you trust your husband? Do you trust your wife? Would you trust your dog to protect your life? Do you trust the government? Do you the trust the police? Do you trust your insurance company or are you being fleeced? In those nine seconds, I aimed the eyes of your imagination at 6 different subjects, but that single syllable – “trust” – delivered what I needed it to deliver each time. Let me summarize what I have spoken. Abstract versus Concrete is essentially Impression versus Clarity. Reader, are you troubled that I said, “I have spoken,” when the technical truth is that I have written? Here’s another little tidbit for you. The written word has no meaning until it has been translated into the spoken word it represents. Even when you are reading silently, you are hearing words in your mind. When you translate t-r-u-s-t into the single syllable that those 5 letters represent, the written word becomes the spoken word in your mind. You have been told that one picture is worth a thousand words.Maybe you even believe it. Let’s put that to the test. Draw, paint, photograph, or use AI to create a picture of “trust.” The impression that we want to deliver to the viewer is the identical impression that is delivered by that glorious single syllable, “trust.” The image you create can contain no words, no letters, no sounds, no numerals. We are looking for that mythical picture that is supposedly able to deliver what cannot be delivered in a thousand words. When you have created your picture, show it to 100 people. Say only, “Tell me what you see.” I do not believe that you can create a picture that will cause anyone to look up at you and say, “Trust.” Let it be written it letters of fire across the skies: “One word is worth a thousand pictures.” I wish for you a joyous and productive day. Roy H. Williams*ray-zur blayd or /ˈreɪ.zɚ ˌbleɪd/ in the International Phonetic Alphabet “Working hard” is usually considered a virtue. But what happens when work becomes so central to your identity that you can’t switch it off? Do you continue working even when you are exhausted, on vacation, or spending time with the people who matter most? Dr. Angelica Perez-Litwin has spent more than two decades observing high-achieving clients — and, as she candidly explains, she has experienced this problem herself. As she explains to roving reporter Rotbart, “A person does not need to surrender their ambition. The solution is to build a healthier relationship with achievement. Professional and financial success can remain important without becoming the only measure of who you are.” Listen and learn at MondayMorningRadio.com

  3. Aug 10

    Bernie was Born in a Farmhouse

    Between the village of Anwick and the town of Sleaford in Lincolnshire, England, lies a farmhouse. It is at this farmhouse that our journey begins. Robert is a stockman on a farm. Daphne is his wife. Their little boy, Bernie, is born in that little farmhouse by lantern light because the house is much older than electricity. When Bernie is five years old, his father is promoted to farm manager, and they are moved into a house with electric lights. Bernie thinks, “Now we are living the good life.” He leaves school at 15, but his mother has given him a love for literature and her father “Poppy” has injected him with a love for nature and narrative poetry. Bernie sends a few of his poems to a music publisher in London who is looking for song lyrics.That same publisher is talking to a young man named Reggie who is looking for a way to leave “Bluesology,” a mediocre local band that plays songs while the patrons of local restaurants eat fish and chips. Reggie says to the publisher, “I’m very good with music, but I can’t write lyrics. I’m hopeless.” The publisher responds by handing Reggie an unopened envelope that he snatches from the top of the pile on his desk. He says to Reggie, “See what you can do with that and get back to me.” Neither Bernie nor Reggie are accepted by the music publisher, but they are accepted by each other. Bernie mails poems to Reggie in London, and Reggie writes the music that turns Bernie’s poems into songs. You have heard many of these songs, I’m sure. According to Jordan Runtagh, “‘Rocket Man,’ ‘Honky Cat,’ ‘Crocodile Rock’ and ‘Daniel’ all immediately shot into the Top 10 in rapid succession. By 1975, they were responsible for 2 percent of all records sold on the entire planet. That same year they released Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy, which became the first LP in history to debut at the top of the Billboard chart.” Reggie is Captain Fantastic and his farmboy friend Bernie is the Brown Dirt Cowboy.Reggie knows, of course, that he is unlikely to become famous as Reggie Dwight, so he creates a new name from the names of his former bandmates, Elton Dean and John Baldry. As “Elton John,” Reggie writes the tunes that make Bernie’s poems famous around the world. Some of those tunes are “Your Song,” “Levon,” “Tiny Dancer,” “Candle in the Wind,” “Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting,” “Bennie and the Jets,” “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me,” “The Bitch is Back,” “I’m Still Standing,” and “I Guess That’s Why They Call It The Blues.” In 1973, Bernie was traveling to concerts with always high, out-of-control Elton, doing the job each day of all the king’s horses and all the king’s men by “putting Humpty Dumpty back together again.” When the Brown Dirt Cowboy decided that he didn’t want to do it anymore, he wrote his brother a letter of departure:“When are you gonna come down? When are you going to land? I should have stayed on the farm. I should have listened to my old man. You know you can’t hold me forever. I didn’t sign up with you. I’m not a present for your friends to open. This boy’s too young to be singing the blues. So goodbye yellow brick road where the dogs of society howl. You can’t plant me in your penthouse. I’m going back to my plow. Back to the howling old owl in the woods hunting the horny back toad. I’ve finally decided my future lies beyond the yellow brick road.” “What do you think you’ll do then? I bet they’ll shoot down the plane. It’ll take you a couple of vodka and tonics to set you on your feet again. Maybe you’ll get a replacement. There’s plenty like me to be found, mongrels who ain’t got a penny sniffing for tidbits like you on the ground.” Reggie Dwight did what he always did. He wrote a tune and sang what Bernie had written.In the days when an album that sold a million copies was a “Gold Record,” Reggie and Bernie’s album, “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” sold 30 million copies. A few years ago, Bernie Taupin spoke of the “inseverable bond” of brotherhood that he and Elton have shared for 60 years. “In the insanity of our lives, there’s nothing better than the times when we get to sit down, just together. Like those moments in the dressing room, about a half an hour before he goes on, when I’ll go in and see him and there’s nobody else in there, and it’s just he and I. The calm before the storm. It all comes back. When we’re just alone with each other, it seems like a frozen capsule of time that everything we’ve ever done together inhabits. That’s magical to me.” Bernie, I think I speak for a lot of other people when I say that your partnership is magical for us, as well. Roy H. Williams

  4. Aug 3

    Shortcuts, Pro Tips, and Life Hacks

    The Three Quivering Questions of Modern Society:How can I achieve my goals with less effort?How can I achieve my goals in less time?How and where can I find pleasure? These are the “How to…” questions. (I call them the Quivering Questions because they contain an anxious energy similar to that of an addict looking for his or her next “fix.”) Shortcuts, pro tips, life hacks, and insider secrets are snippets that exist to tell you “How to…” Schools, seminars, master mind groups, and countless consultants exist to tell you “How to…” Millions of books and Youtube videos have been written and produced to tell you “How to…” The answers to the “How to” questions are always Informational. The Three Ancient Questions That Echo Within Us:Who Am I? (Identity)Why Am I Here? (Purpose)What Must I Overcome? (Adventure) Those are the “Fascination” questions. Fascination is the drive behind our search for God and our hunger for entertainment. Faith and entertainment seem incongruent until you realize that both of them fascinate us because they change our mood and lift us higher. The answers to the “Fascination” questions are always Relational. When you understand these 6 questions, you understand the essence, attraction, and purpose of social media.Youtube offers only “How to” videos and “Fascination” videos. Likewise, every book is either a “How to” book or a “Fascination” book. Television shows are either “How to” or “Fascination.” Movies and music lend themselves mostly to fascination. I told you, “Fascination is the drive behind our search for God and our hunger for entertainment.” When we contemplate our existence and the possibility of God, we ask, Who Am I?Why Am I Here?What Must I Overcome? Your answers to those questions will determine your faith, whether it be Judeo-Christian, Hindu, Moslem, Buddhist, Atheist, Agnostic, or one of the many other belief systems with millions of followers. When entertainment elevates our mood, our fascination comes from identity reinforcement. The books, movies, and television shows that we love are the ones that show us a reflection of ourselves.When we identify with a character, we vicariously experience the challenges they face. These challenges are known as the plot or the “narractive arc.” We likewise experience the evolution of that character when they are changed by those challenges. This is known as the “character arc.” The characters with whom we identify remind us of who we are. Identity reinforcement is the essence of affinity groups.An affinity group is any group of people who are attracted to the same thing. Every religion is an affinity group. The fans of a sports team are an affinity group. People who follow fashion are an affinity group. If you like jazz music, or hip-hop, or Jeeps or NASCAR or backpacking or sewing or science fiction or romance or current events or capitalism or gossip, you are in an affinity group. Mass media and social media exist to attract and serve affinity groups. The size of a business opportunity is largely determined by size of the affinity group it serves.If you are an electrician, a plumber, or an HVAC technician, your affinity groups will be people who like and need electricity, running water, and comfortable temperatures. Your limiting factors will be the population of your trade areathe strength of your competitors.how often the average person needs your servicesWhether or not your name is the one people think of first and feel the best about. If you are a dentist, a jeweler, a lawyer, or a tree trimmer, your limiting factors will be the population of your trade areathe strength of your competitorshow often the average person needs your servicesWhether or not your name is the one people think of first and feel the best about. If you own a restaurant, a grocery store, or sell some other product that people need weekly, your limiting factors will be the population of the neighborhood in which you are locatedthe quality of the customer’s experiencethe visibility of your location Believe it or not, everything I have told you in these 727 words is extremely important when you are creating the messages that you will spend your advertising budget to deliver.I understand if you are surprised by this, but it is true, nonetheless. Roy H. Williams Facebook has 3.07 billion monthly active users YouTube has 2.5 billion monthly active users Instagram has 2 billion monthly active users TikTok has 1.58 billion monthly active users LinkedIn has 930 million monthly active users NOTE: Monthly Active Users tells you only the Reach of these platforms. But to compare Effectiveness, you would need to know how much time each week a user spends on each platform. You would also need to know how many times each week the same user could be reached on that platform. I’m Indy Beagle THIS WEEK on Monday Morning Radio: Steven Mercer speaks from personal experience when he tells entrepreneurs how to build a service practice without sacrificing their values, their time, or their financial stability. Deputy rover Maxwell Rotbart asks brilliant questions and scribbles notes while Steven Mercer explains how to transition gradually from current employment to independent practice. He then explains how to attract clients through referrals and valuable content. He also explains how to decide when advertising makes sense. Do you want to know the best ways to set fees, establish boundaries, and handle difficult clients? Class will begin the moment you arrive at MondayMorningRadio.com.

  5. Jul 27

    Life is an Adventure Without Socks

    Life is an adventure of choices and consequences.Choices and consequences. I believe that with all my heart. But I do not believe that wise choices will always yield the outcome you desired. The Book of Ecclesiastes is filled with the wisdom and insights of Solomon, who had this to say in chapter nine; “I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favor to men of skill; but Time and Chance happens to them all.” I agree with what Solomon wrote, so I dare not say that a wise choice will always produce the desired outcome. But I will say that in the absence of unlucky timing and plain old bad luck, good Choices usually lead to good Consequences. Vi Wickam, one of my Wizard of Ads partners, wrote 140 words last week that knocked my socks off. I am typing these words to you on a computer that sits on top of my desk. Below that desk are my bare feet. My socks are nowhere to be found. These are the 140 words that Vi Wickam wrote for American Business Secrets.Make a Decision. Many people talk about decisions, but few people understand what it really is to make a decision. Not every choice is a decision. Decide comes from the Latin words “de” – meaning OFF – and “caedere”, meaning to CUT. To decide is to Cut Off the other possibilities. Few things are as powerful as a true decision. To decide is to move in a direction and to cut off the others. To decide is to keep your focus, and to not look back. To decide is to face your fear of loss. Every decision comes with loss, and you must face it. When you face that fear, you will feel relief. You will breathe easier. To decide is to stop second guessing yourself. To decide is to move forward with clear vision, and clear purpose. Make a decision today. With American Business Secrets, I’m Vi Wickam. Do you often have to explain, justify, and defend your decisions?Me, too. These are the 3 key sentences in Vi’s 140-word essay that jerked my eyes open and blew my socks away: Not every choice is a decision.To Decide is to Cut Off the other possibilities.Every decision comes with loss, and you must face it. Some people believe that if you delay long enough, a solution will arise that causes no discomfort, no inconvenience, and no awkward moments. You will find these people waiting for their luck to turn, waiting for their ship to come in, waiting for their big break, waiting to begin this long, awkward, funny, delightful and difficult Walk of Life. Roy H. WilliamsSaturday, August 1st, will mark the 150th Anniversary of Colorado’s admission to the Union as the 38th state. That milestone might not seem to relevant at first glance, but your opinion will quickly change. Maxwell Rotbart reveals in his new book, “Becoming Colorado,” the Rocky Mountain territory’s long struggle for statehood offers valuable lessons for today’s business executives in leadership, negotiation, coalition building, crisis management, branding, and strategy. Chief rover Dean joins deputy rover Maxwell to explore the business counsel hidden within Colorado’s remarkable journey to statehood. Together, they will validate Winston Churchill’s famous observation: “The longer you can look back, the farther you can look forward.” Are you ready to be fascinated? The place to be is MondayMorningRadio.com

  6. Jul 20

    Paint Jobs Don’t Win Car Races

    Road Atlanta is a famous roadracing track 800 miles from Tulsa, Oklahoma, a grueling trip to make in the back seat of a 1972 BMW 2002.Tony and Indy ride in the front seats. Pennie and I ride in the back. We stop only for gas. Arriving in pre-dawn Atlanta, we get a few hours sleep, then go down to the track where 67 racecars are parked in the dim sunlight of a misty morning. We are invited to examine all 67 of the racecars. At the end of 40 minutes, Tony points to car number 52, a 1978 Buick Skyhawk. He says, “Unless the driver sticks it into the wall or the engine explodes, that’s the car that will win.” I looked at number 52, then glanced around at all the other cars and said, “Why?” Tony said, “That’s a ten-thousand-dollar paint job, and paint jobs don’t win races.” “You’re telling me that the owner is an idiot. So why do you think his car will win?” Tony slowly shook his head, then said, “The fact that he spent $10,000 on a paint job lets me know that he spared no expense doing everything that matters. This guy did hundreds of important things to this car before he gave a single thought to the paint job. This paint job was the very last thing he did.” When I understood what Tony was saying, I repeated it back to him. “The fact that he has spent a ton of money to repaint a brand-new car that was already beautiful means that he has already done everything else that could help him win this race.” Tony said, “Ten-thousand-dollar paint jobs don’t win races.” I nodded my head, then we silently climbed the hill where we would sit to watch the race. The track at Road Atlanta is two-and-a-half miles of hills, valleys, winding curves, and long straightaways that eat most of the cars and drivers who dare to place tires on its asphalt.A grass-and-tree-covered park sits in the center of that fierce track like a glittering jewel. This is where we will sit on blankets and watch cars fly past at startling speeds as 67 drivers try to outdistance each other for 6 screaming hours. At the end of the appointed time, only 24 cars remained on the track. Number 52 won by an impressive margin. A client said something to me three weeks ago that triggered my memory of standing on that racetrack with Tony 48 years ago. When a young client said that he was thinking about spending a huge amount of money for new truck wraps, I was instantly transported back to that track, listening to Tony explain why the car with the $10,000 paint job would win the race. My client owns a fast-growing home services company that sends technicians to houses to fix things that are broken. He has only been in business a few years. I accepted him as a client because I saw that he had already begun doing the things that will take his company higher than the tops of the mountains that surround him. When he told me that he was thinking of investing a shocking amount of money to have his service trucks re-wrapped, I asked, “Why?”He said he had read a list of extremely successful companies who had all used the same graphics house to design their new truck wraps. I asked, “Was it the owner of the graphics house that compiled and published the list?” My client said “Yes.” I said, “I once went to an Italian Restaurant in Weehawken, New Jersey that had a prominent sign in the foyer that said, “This Dining Establishment is Highly Recommended by its Owner.” We both laughed. Then I said to my client, “Paint jobs don’t win races and truck wraps don’t grow companies. The owners of every company on that list had already done everything they could do that would make a difference. When they had run out of ways to spend money on things that actually matter, they decided to get an expensive paint job.” Then I concluded my counsel by saying, “You own this company. I do not. My job is to help you do whatever you choose to do. If you feel like you have already done everything that you know for sure will make a difference, then spend the money for the truck wraps. But don’t think that those companies became successful because of their truck wraps. Those companies became successful because they had already done everything else that matters.” I do not yet know what my young client will choose to do. But I do know two things: He is smart, hard working, and is outdistancing all of his competitors.Paint jobs don’t win races. Roy H. WilliamsRon Robinson says that successful organizations continuously evaluate their vulnerabilities, engage employees in solving problems, and remain flexible as conditions change. Listen as Ron describes to roving reporter Rotbart his four-step framework for anticipating disruption and responding before challenges become existential threats. Ron’s goal is straightforward: Help leaders weather the storms of uncertainty and emerge stronger in their aftermath. A storm is definitely coming. Escape that storm and emerge stronger at MondayMorningRadio dot com

  7. Jul 13

    What the Bible Teaches About Advertising

    I received an email last Thursday from my friend Doug Burdon in which he mentions a story told by Jesus. That story is often called “The Parable of the Sower and the Seed.” The story goes like this: A farmer is slinging seed.Some of the seed falls on the compacted soil of the pathway where the birds came and ate it.Seeds fall on rocky soil where it spouts, then dies because the soil is thin.Some of the seed falls among thorns where it sprouts, then gets choked out by the aggressive weeds.Seeds fall on good soil where it returns a massive harvest. Doug referred to that story to make an altogether different point than the one that I am about to make, but I think that there is a solid chance that Doug would agree with me. Look at the sower of the seed as an advertiser, and the seed itself as the message that his advertising contains.You will notice that Jesus did not say, “Target the good soil.” (He does not say it in Matthew 13, He does not say it in Mark 4, and He does not say it in Luke 8.) Think about that for a moment; a pathway is easy to see. Rocky ground and thorny patches are likewise obvious. Why did Jesus NOT tell us to avoid spreading seed in places where it is unlikely to grow? Why did Jesus NOT tell us to target the good soil? (Yes, I am talking to you about the wisdom of using un-targeted mass media to spread your message. The consistent, long-term use of broadcast television and broadcast radio continues to be wildly effective even though they reach the untargeted, unfiltered, unwashed masses.) I am convinced that Jesus was familiar with the book of Ecclesiastes, which was written hundreds of years before He was born. These are the high points of what you will find in the first 6 verses of Ecclesiastes chapter 11. “Ship your grain across the sea; after many days you may receive a return.” [Translation: Don’t fall into the trap of short-term thinking – RHW] …”Whoever watches the wind will not sow seed. Whoever looks at the clouds will not reap a harvest. But you do not know the path of the wind… Sow your seed in the morning, and in the evening do not let your hands be idle, for you do not know which will succeed, whether this or that, or whether both will do equally well.” In other words, “Quit trying to know the end from the beginning. Energetic activities are more far productive than data collection and analysis.”Do not fall into the trap of short-term thinking. Sow the seed, sow the seed, sow the seed. Do not try to target the good soil. Sow the seed, sow the seed, sow the seed. Do not worry about whether or not “this” is the right time. Sow the seed, sow the seed, sow the seed. Quit thinking that you have the ability to predict the future. Sow the seed, sow the seed, sow the seed. Perhaps my beliefs are completely wrong, but if they are, then it would appear that Jesus and Solomon were wrong, too. Roy H. WilliamsColin Hodge knows that rapid business growth begins with understanding why customers think, choose, and behave as they do. Colin applies practical insights from psychology to strengthen customer loyalty and make better decisions through continual experimentation. As he tells roving reporter Rotbart, this mindset proved essential after his first successful app was abruptly pulled from Apple’s app store, forcing him to start over. Today, Colin’s company is back on Apple and has more than 17 million users. His story demonstrates how every setback can become the springboard to even greater success. Are you ready to run down that springboard, bounce high into the air, and reach for the stars? If your answer is “Yes,” the place for you to be is MondayMorningRadio.com.

  8. Jul 6

    Elon Musk Wants to Sell Me a Tire

    Dear Elon,Congratulations on your initial public offering of SPCX. Google’s AI says, “The blockbuster debut briefly made Elon Musk the world’s first trillionaire on paper.” The words “briefly” and “on paper” dim the dazzling brightness of the word “trillionaire” a little, but still, it’s a pretty big deal. I’m sure that Errol and Maye are super-proud. You’ve come a long way since you started Zip2 with your brother, Kimball, in 1995.Who would have ever thought that a company that created online city guides for newspapers would sell for $307 million after just 3 and 1/2 years in business? Your 7% was only worth $22 million, but still, that’s a lot of pocket money for a 27-year-old boy. Your decision to partner up with Ed Ho, Harris Fricker, and Christopher Payne to create “X,” and then merge with your biggest competitor so that all of you could survive the bursting of the dotcom bubble, well, that was another brilliant move. It worked out well for Max Levchin and Peter Thiel, too. You and Thiel and Ho, Fricker, Payne and Max created Paypal at exactly the right time. Well done, all of you! But of all your accomplishments, the one that impresses me the most is the frictionless website that you built to sell cars.Every Tesla owner that I have ever met has admitted to being marveled by how easy it was to buy a new Tesla. Five minutes online and $500 on a credit card leaves the customer sitting there, mildly stunned, asking themselves. “Did I really just buy a car? Can it really be that easy?” Elon, when people marvel at something, the thing that marvels them can rightfully be called marvelous. Elon, your Tesla website is marvelous. And the car is marvelous. Except for one thing. Can we talk about that one thing for a moment?Shortly after my wife Pennie bought her Tesla, I saw that we had a sheet rock screw embedded in the center of the tread in the right rear tire. Pennie said, “No problem, Tire Service is one of the things that my Tesla app says they can do right in our driveway.” So she pulled out her phone and quickly ordered and paid for Tire Service. When the tire guy showed up he said, “Yep. That’s definitely a sheet rock screw and it’s definitely an easy fix, but I can only do tire rotations. Take this to the Tesla service center and I’m sure they will do it for free.” When Pennie got back from the service center, she said that your service manager told her that the tire could not be fixed because it had a scuff on the sidewall, so he sold her a $400 new tire. Obviously, I should have gone with her. Was she cheated out of $400? Yes. In my opinion, she was cheated out of four hundred dollars. Have we been cheated by other people for more money than that? Yes. Life goes on. Elon, you and I both know that no car on earth – not even your Tesla – is equipped with onboard sensors that can monitor the depth of the tire tread on a tire. So I can only assume that this annoying “tire tread” warning light that has been front-and-center on our dash ever since she visited your service center was most likely put there by the same aggressive salesman who already sold my wife a tire that she did not need. I’m sure you can understand why I will never visit another Tesla service center. Can we resolve this like honorable men?Elon, I will Venmo you another $400 if you will tell your service manager to press the button that will make the annoying “tire tread warning” light disappear from the dash of my wife’s car. You can keep the tire. I don’t need it, just like I didn’t need the first one. But I really do need that annoying dash light to go away. I will even Paypal you the $400 if you prefer. Again, congratulations on briefly becoming the world’s first “on paper” trillionaire. – Roy H. Williams

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Thousands of people are starting their workweeks with smiles of invigoration as they log on to their computers to find their Monday Morning Memo just waiting to be devoured. Straight from the middle-of-the-night keystrokes of Roy H. Williams, the MMMemo is an insightful and provocative series of well-crafted thoughts about the life of business and the business of life.

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