Better Sex

Jessa Zimmerman
  • 4.8 (137)
  • ALTERNATIVE HEALTH
  • UPDATED SEMIWEEKLY

Better Sex is focused on helping all couples create and enjoy their best possible sex life. Better Sex is hosted by Jessa Zimmerman who is a couples’ counselor and nationally certified sex therapist. Each episode will dive into one topic related to sex. Some will be devoted to addressing sexual concerns like sexual dysfunction, differences in sexual desire, and intimacy problems. Some will help you develop realistic and helpful expectations. And some will offer information and approaches that can just make your sex life better.The information and discussion on the podcast should not be taken as medical advice or as therapy. Please seek out qualified professionals for medical and therapeutic advice.

  1. 2D AGO

    371: People pleasing is ruining your sex life with Darshana Avila

    Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews Darshana Avila (featured on Netflix’s Sex, Love & Goop) about “erotic wholeness,” defined as integrating all parts of ourselves and relating to eroticism as life-force vitality that can fuel sexuality, creativity, and relationships. They explore how people-pleasing functions as a protective strategy—suppressing authenticity to maintain connection—and how it undermines both pleasure and intimacy. In long-term relationships, this often appears as partners (often women in heterosexual dynamics) not knowing what they like, feeling shame about needs such as taking longer to warm up, or fearing rejection for expressing desires. They discuss sexual scripts, shame, disappointment tolerance, consent (including Betty Martin’s Wheel of Consent), and practical steps: identify people-pleasing, work with fear/scarcity, clarify authentic desires and boundaries, and build communication skills with professional and relational support. 00:00 Show Introduction 00:49 Meet Darshana Avila 01:51 Her Path to This Work 03:26 Erotic Wholeness Defined 06:18 Choiceful Self Leadership 07:32 People Pleasing Explained 09:08 How It Shows Up in Sex 12:41 Owning Desire Without Shame 15:16 Rewriting the Sex Script 18:19 Mid Episode Quiz Break 18:47 Mutuality Helps Both Partners 19:38 Mutual Desire Basics 20:24 People Pleasing Blocks Intimacy 21:26 Building Disappointment Tolerance 22:18 Shame Spirals and Meaning 23:03 Dont Yuck the Yum 23:38 Golden Shower Lesson 24:42 Responding with Gratitude 25:19 Finding the Venn Overlap 27:19 Consent and the No 28:36 No as a Pivot 29:36 First Steps to Change 33:08 Vulnerability as Litmus Test 35:47 Support and Where to Find Her 36:55 Podcast Wrap Up My quizzes can be found at https://www.desirediscrepancy.com Bio: Darshana Avila is a trauma-informed somatic educator, practitioner and international speaker who helps people reconnect with the most essential aspects of themselves — their truth, their desires, and their capacity for profound pleasure and power. Known for her grounded, candid, and relational approach, she bridges the worlds of embodiment, emotional intelligence, and personal agency with depth and accessibility. Darshana’s work has been featured on Netflix’s Sex, Love & goop, The Guardian, The New Yorker, and numerous leading podcasts. Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water. More info and resources: Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

    38 min

  2. 6D AGO

    370: [Soapbox] Choose a more empowering story

    In this soapbox episode of The Better Sex Podcast, sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman discusses the power of staying positive by questioning the stories and interpretations our brains create. She explains how people often react to filtered, meaning-filled perceptions rather than reality, then reinforce negative narratives—especially in relationships—by focusing on blame, hopelessness, and how stuck things feel. Jess argues this mindset is inaccurate, disempowering, and self-sabotaging because it shapes how we show up with our partners and invites defensiveness, conflict, or withdrawal. She encourages listeners to develop skepticism about their interpretations, broaden perspective, and choose thoughts and emotions that feel better and create more possibility. By focusing on what’s on “your side of the court,” including how you feel, think, and act, you can change the relational dynamic and move toward the connection you want. 00:00 Welcome to Better Sex 00:44 Soapbox Episode Setup 01:55 Why Stories Trap Us 03:35 The Cost of Negative Narratives 05:19 Challenge Your Interpretation 07:18 Control Your Side 07:42 Invitation to Shift Mindset 08:12 Outro and Credits Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water. More info and resources: Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

    10 min

  3. MAR 2

    369: Protecting Sexual Freedoms with Mandy Salley

    Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews Mandy Salley of the Woodhull Foundation about sexual freedom as a human right rooted in bodily autonomy and the ability to say yes or no. Mandy shares how peer sex education in college, graduate training in social work and human sexuality, and years volunteering with Woodhull led to her advocacy work blending sexuality, policy, and activism. They discuss how shame-based sex education limits curiosity and knowledge, and how free speech and online censorship affect sexual health information. Mandy outlines Woodhull’s current policy work, including opposing a proposed South Carolina abortion ban, Colorado’s trans bathroom ban, and state age-verification laws that threaten privacy and data security. She also notes concerns about intersex medical interventions and gender-affirming care bans. The episode ends with practical ways to get involved locally and how to find Woodhull’s resources. 00:00 Show Intro 00:56 Meet Mandy Sally 01:52 Her Path to Woodhull 06:17 Sex Ed Gaps and Shame 09:50 Defining Sexual Freedom 11:06 Censorship and Algo Speak 13:12 Quick Quiz Break 13:39 US vs Global Perspectives 17:02 Woodhull Policy Priorities 18:20 Age Verification and Privacy 22:46 Intersex and Care Bans 23:51 How to Get Involved 26:42 Find Woodhull Resources 28:55 Closing and Credits Take my quizzes at https://www.desirediscrepancy.com Bio: Mandy Salley brings her passion for social justice and love for humanity to the Woodhull Freedom Foundation as its Chief Operations Officer (COO). Since 2014 when she first served as a volunteer coordinator, Mandy plays an integral role at Woodhull, now managing its day-to-day operations and community efforts – from its Human Rights Commissions to the monthly Censorship of Sexual Freedom Series. Mandy is also a licensed Social Worker and has experience in inpatient hospitals, geriatric day programs, and rape crises. She is based in Brooklyn, NY. www.woodhullfoundation.org Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water. More info and resources: Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

    30 min

  4. FEB 26

    368 [Soapbox] The transformative potential of a couples' intensive

    In this soapbox episode of the Better Sex Podcast, sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman explains why some couples may benefit from a couples intensive instead of weekly or biweekly therapy. She describes limits of short, spaced-out sessions—often spent catching up or addressing the latest conflict—and how real emotional breakthroughs can require uninterrupted time for nervous systems to settle, vulnerability to emerge, and old patterns to loosen. Jessa outlines how intensives provide extended, immersive hours that allow couples to stay in the process long enough to repair ruptures and gain a clearer “balcony view” of their dynamics while practicing new behaviors with in-the-moment support. She also discusses the potential for ethically guided altered-state work—specifically mentioning MDMA and psilocybin training—to reduce fear-based defenses, increase empathy, and enable difficult conversations without typical shutdown or blame. Jessa shares who might consider an intensive (repeating conflicts, unresolved rupture, separation decisions, or a desire for deeper connection) and who should not (abuse, an unwilling partner, or severe mental health issues). She emphasizes intensives are a significant investment of time, money, and energy—often 6–10 hours—but can be transformative when regular therapy hasn’t created enough traction. 00:00 Show Intro 00:46 Why Consider Intensives 01:07 Limits of Weekly Therapy 02:22 How Intensives Work 03:24 Breaking Old Patterns 04:23 Insight Into Action 05:05 Altered State Options 05:50 MDMA and Psilocybin 06:21 What Changes in Session 07:32 Who Should Consider It 08:01 When Not Recommended 08:44 Cost and Commitment 09:13 Wrap Up and Credits Want to learn more? Visit https://www.heartweaveforcouples.com Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water. More info and resources: Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

    11 min

  5. FEB 23

    367: Supple, Luscious, Fuller Breasts with Jillian Wisborg

    Jessa Zimmerman interviews Jillian Wisborg, founder of Booby Grow, about a natural breast growth and firming program combining herbal supplementation, breast/nipple massage, and nutrition changes. Jillian shares that she created the program after losing weight and losing breast volume, and wanted an alternative to implants due to cost, maintenance, and reported health issues. She explains her background studying herbal medicine, how she researched plant compounds and breast health, and how her formulation evolved through trials into a lifestyle-based approach when some participants needed adequate calories and fat intake for results. The conversation covers what breasts are made of, the role of healthy fats, circulation, and estrogen receptors, and why the program emphasizes daily massage and specific herbs. They discuss broader effects some users report (without official claims), cautions around pregnancy and cancer, and an explanation of different estrogen sources including xenoestrogens and phytoestrogens. 00:00 Welcome to the Better Sex Podcast (Show Intro) 00:44 Meet Jillian Wisborg & Booby Grow: Natural Breast Firming/Growth Overview 01:34 Jillian’s Origin Story: Weight Loss, Losing Breast Volume & Avoiding Implants 05:57 From Herbal Medicine to a Formula: Researching Plant Compounds & Early Trials 10:10 Breast Biology 101: Fat, Circulation, Massage & Estrogen Receptors 12:55 Beyond Breast Size: Other Reported Benefits + Who Shouldn’t Use It 14:44 Safety Talk: Estrogen, Xenoestrogens vs Phytoestrogens & Cancer Concerns 19:16 Is This for the Male Gaze? Choice, Body Autonomy & Postpartum Clients 21:46 Dragons’ Den/Shark Tank Experience: Pitching Booby Grow & Calls for Studies 25:31 How the Program Works: 4-Month Plan, Guarantee, Results & Maintenance 28:25 Where to Find Jillian + Final Wrap-Up Interested in resources to bridge desire discrepancy? Go to https://www.desirediscrepancy.com Bio: I’m Jillian Wisborg — a Herbalist, Registered Nutritionist, and Clinical Iridoloist who’s been rooted in the holistic health world since 2009. Jillian had her company Boobygrow recently featured on the show Dragon’s Den & is taking the world by storm to enrich the masses on education of herbalism for vitality. Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water. More info and resources: Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

    31 min

  6. FEB 19

    366: [Soapbox] Should i tell her about the viagra?

    In this soapbox episode of The Better Sex Podcast, sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman responds to a coaching-call question: whether to tell a partner when you’ve taken Viagra. She describes a client who has a prescription, experiences no negative side effects, and has been taking the medication without telling his wife to avoid creating pressure or expectations for sex. Jessa explains that Viagra helps maintain an erection rather than automatically causing one, so taking it without having sex isn’t inherently harmful, but guessing can lead to mismatches—sometimes he’s prepared and sometimes he isn’t—potentially leaving his wife confused or personalizing inconsistent erections. She suggests considering a daily medication like Cialis for more spontaneity and encourages an honest conversation that leads with the intention to avoid pressure, clarifies there are no adverse effects if sex doesn’t happen, and invites the partner into shared decision-making, including the option for the partner to initiate by suggesting he take a pill if she’s interested in sex. She closes by encouraging listeners to communicate in ways that reduce pressure while increasing collaboration and connection. 00:00 Welcome to Better Sex (Podcast Intro) 00:45 Soapbox Topic: Should You Tell Your Partner You Took Viagra? 01:35 The Real Issue: Guessing, Mixed Signals & Partner Anxiety 02:08 Quick Viagra Myth-Busting: What It Does (and Doesn’t) Do 03:31 Practical Options: Daily Cialis vs. Planning Ahead 03:55 How to Bring It Up Without Creating Pressure 05:01 Invite Your Partner In: Shared Decision-Making & Desire Signals 05:59 Wrap-Up: Communicate About ED Meds as a Team 06:18 Outro, Links, Reviews & Credits Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water. More info and resources: Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

    8 min

  7. FEB 16

    365: Polyagony - Common Mistakes in Ethical Non-Monogamy with Candace Sjogren

    In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, host Jessa Zimmerman speaks with Candace Sjogren about the intricacies and common mistakes involved in polyamory, as addressed in Sjogren’s book, 'Polyagony'. They discuss personal experiences, motivations behind polyamorous relationships, and essential strategies for maintaining healthy open relationships. The conversation touches on setting boundaries, ethical non-monogamy, agreements, and navigating the dynamics of multiple partners, including poly parenting. Sjogren emphasizes the importance of communication, consent, and the continuous evolution of relationship agreements. 00:00 Introduction to Better Sex Podcast 00:49 Guest Introduction: Candace Sjogren on Polyamory 01:25 Candace's Personal Journey with Polyamory 02:13 Challenges and Advocacy in Polyamorous Relationships 03:34 The Rise of Ethical Non-Monogamy 07:09 Defining Ethical Non-Monogamy 08:33 Common Mistakes in Open Relationships 12:42 Forming Agreements in Open Relationships 16:43 Exploring Hopes and Fears in Relationships 16:59 The Importance of Moving at the Slowest Pace 17:30 Maintaining Relationship Cadence 18:02 Invitation to Share Personal Stories 18:31 Dealing with Stagnation in Relationships 20:19 Understanding Consent Within and Outside the Couple 22:26 Navigating the Role of a Hinge in Polyamory 25:04 Challenges of Poly Parenting 28:31 Group Dynamics in Polyamory 30:12 Conclusion and Resources If you want to share your story on the show, email us at info@intimacywithease.com Bio: Candace Sjogren is a lawyer, entrepreneur, and transformational leader whose work spans finance, technology, and human development. Born in Cincinnati, Ohio, she graduated from the Salmon P. Chase College of Law and practiced law before founding and leading multiple mission-driven companies. She served as CEO of Bad Girl Ventures, a microfinance firm investing in female founders, and later founded Somolend, one of the first nationally available crowdfunding platforms. Through this work, Candace played a key role in shaping the JOBS Act, the legislation that made securities-based crowdfunding legal in the United States. Over the past fifteen years, Candace has served in senior executive and C-suite roles across venture-backed startups and global payments companies, including Chief Commercial Officer of Lynx, a healthcare payments company, and Senior Vice President of Embedded Finance at FIS, a global payments firm with more than 66,000 employees. She is also the former co-author of Typhoon Honey: The Only Way Out Is Through, a book on emotional intelligence and transformational growth. Today, Candace leads The Liberation Company, where she facilitates emotional intelligence, somatic healing, and identity-based workshops designed to support deep personal and collective transformation. She lives on Cape Cod, Massachusetts, with her husband Andrew, their son Ivar, and their two dogs, Pan and Cinder. Website: https://www.polyagony.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@candacesjogren7056 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/insidethemindofcandaceklein/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/candacesjogren/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/candace.klein/ Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water. More info and resources: Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

    33 min

  8. FEB 12

    364: [Soapbox] Avoid the Quota Trap

    In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, host and sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman discusses the challenges of setting quotas for sexual frequency in relationships. She shares insights from a recent coaching call, emphasizing that focusing on frequency can often lead to feelings of obligation and resentment, particularly for lower desire partners. Instead, Jessa advises couples to create flexible, pressure-free spaces to nurture desire and intimacy naturally. 00:00 Introduction to Better Sex 00:46 Welcome and Episode Overview 01:02 Discussing Reasonable Amounts of Sex 02:11 The Problem with Setting Quotas 04:05 Creating Flexibility in Intimacy 05:09 Avoiding Obligation and Duty 05:37 Conclusion and Final Thoughts 05:59 Closing Remarks and Listener Engagement 06:47 Credits and Acknowledgements Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water. More info and resources: Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

    7 min
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4.8
out of 5
137 Ratings

About

Better Sex is focused on helping all couples create and enjoy their best possible sex life. Better Sex is hosted by Jessa Zimmerman who is a couples’ counselor and nationally certified sex therapist. Each episode will dive into one topic related to sex. Some will be devoted to addressing sexual concerns like sexual dysfunction, differences in sexual desire, and intimacy problems. Some will help you develop realistic and helpful expectations. And some will offer information and approaches that can just make your sex life better.The information and discussion on the podcast should not be taken as medical advice or as therapy. Please seek out qualified professionals for medical and therapeutic advice.

Information

  • Creator
    Jessa Zimmerman
  • Years Active
    2017 - 2026
  • Episodes
    313
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Intimacy with Ease LLC All Rights Reserved.
  • Show Website
    Better Sex

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