Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler

Richard Ostler
  • 4.7 (854)
  • Religion & Spirituality
  • Updated Semiweekly

Welcome to our podcast! My name is Richard H. Ostler and I am a native of Salt Lake City, small business owner, married father of six with several grandchildren. I believe in and am deeply committed to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and want it to work for a wider group. I am the author of three books: “Listen Learn and Love: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints” published in 2020 available at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462135773) “Listen Learn and Love: Improving Latter-day Saint Culture” published in 2022. The book explores who we can do better to help all Latter-day Saints feel more welcome, needed and a feeling of belonging in our congregations. Available at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462139566) “Listen Learn and Love: Building the Good Ship Zion” released in Sept 2023. The book explores additional topics to help all Latter-day Saint feel welcome and needed on the Good Ship Zion. Available at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462145280) The purpose of all three books is to help us better create Zion by helping more feel welcome, a sense of belonging, and needed in our congregations. Proceed from the books go the Stockton Power Memorial Scholarship (www.standingforstockton.com) in honor of Stockton Powers a gay Latter-day Saint teenager who died of suicide in 2016. Everything I do is a self-funded labor of love ❤️ I am the author of two Ensign articles: ‘How the Savior’s Healing Power Applies to Repenting from Sexual Sin’ (August 2020/YSA Digital Only) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/08/young-adults/how-the-saviors-healing-power-applies-to-repenting-from-sexual-sin ‘7 Tips for Overcoming Pornography Use’ (October, page 72) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/10/young-adults/7-tips-for-overcoming-pornography-use. This podcast is designed to discuss some more complicated issues in our church to help all of us better “listen, learn and love” so we can minister in a more effective way to all of our Heavenly Parents’ children. Podcasts are indexed by category at listenlearnandlove.org/podcasts Thank you for joining us. You can't donate to this podcast. There are no sponsors. But you can leave a review/rate the podcast on the platform you are listening and/or leave a review at Deseret Book/Amazon on my books. With love, Richard 'Papa' Ostler ❤ Twitter: twitter.com/Papa_Ostler IG: www.instagram.com/papa_ostler Facebook: facebook.com/richard.ostler.5 Substack: https://substack.com/@papaostler E-mail: richard@ostlergroup.com

  1. 6h ago

    Episode 943: Jennifer Dobberfuhl Quinlan, Sexually Fluid, Super Brave and Unique Story

    Dr. Jennifer Dobberfuhl Quinlan (PhD in Instructional Psychology and Technology from BYU, MTC Director managed the language curriculum development across more than 60 languages, mother of 3, early 50s,) joins us to share her story including: Being sexually fluid Having few resources and others with the same shared experience to give perspective and hope Lots of advice from people—much of which was painful—but also giving grace to them Dealing with and working through shame of not having it all figured out Working through her darkest days being suicidal—how she felt “my life was ruining the lives of those around me”. How she found a way forward with hope—and how her story gives hope to others Managing her “toolbox”—great insights Upcoming Gather Conference (Nov 13-14, 2026, see show notes) This is one of the bravest stories ever shared—the first with someone being sexually fluid. I learned so much from Jennifer. Thank you, Jennifer, for being on the podcast and helping our LGBTQ friends find hope in their story by listening to the principals, perspectives, and gospel insights you shared. Your story also helps us allies better support the good LGBTQ friends and family in our lives. I encourage everyone to listen to Jennifer’s podcast and attend Gather. Links: Gather Conference: https://www.liftandlove.org/gather Jennifer’s email: quinlanconsulting@gmail.com

  2. 3d ago

    Episode 942: Discussion on Masturbation

    This is a short podcast where I read excerpts from three Substack articles on this subject: Substack excerpt one: My thoughts on this subject as a former YSA Bishop Full Substack: https://papaostler.substack.com/p/thoughts-on-masturbation-after-serving Substack excerpt two: Anonymous male: “My lifelong struggle against masturbation and shame, and how individuals, families and the church as a whole can reduce the shame around masturbation.” Full Substack: https://papaostler.substack.com/p/overcoming-masturbation-and-shame Substack excerpt two: Anonymous female: “I wanted to expand this great dialogue about masturbation to address the underlying reasons many YSA’s turn to this in context of their alternative choices.” Full Substack: https://papaostler.substack.com/p/how-it-feels-to-be-an-older-24-ysa Note: My Substack is free and will always be free

  3. 5d ago

    Episode 941: Jake and Joe Sharp: Twin Brothers, Mental Health Advocates, Ending The Shame Cycle

    ** This episode talks about suicide. If you are suicidal, please call/text/chat *988 *** My friends Jake and Joe Sharp (twin brothers in their 20s, from Mesa Arizona, brother Sam died by suicide 16 while they were missionaries) talk about their work: * Being mental health advocates and fitness coaches to help others find hope and end shame * Helping those who are suicidal find hope and how Sam tied his identity to perfectionism * Normalizing honest and vulnerable discussions—how these are healthy male attributes * Coping with grief—how they turned to overeating and pornography use—how they learned to heal through Jesus and therapy * How shame dies in opening up and vulnerability * Their work to support the LGBTQ community * What we can do in our families and church communities to make it safer for suicidal folks to open up Jake and Joe are on a mission to bring people closer to Christ, reduce shame, role-model vulnerability, and help others find hope. I am deeply moved by and supportive of their work. They inspire me. Please listen/share this episode and contact with their social media platforms (see below). And (as mentioned in the podcast) if you are in a position to help them set up a 501c non-profit (or help an any way you feel inspired) please reach out to them. I feel impressed their work is just beginning in our community. Thank you, Jake and Joe, for all your great work. Honored to have you on the show. Links: Jake and Joe’s Instagram and TikTok: @jdoufit Earlier episode 811: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-811-jake-and-joe-sharp-lost-brother-sam-to/id1347971725?i=1000691741343 Richard Ostler Substack on masturbation: https://substack.com/home/post/p-215364913

  4. 5d ago

    Episode 940: Pam Shephard, Survey Request From Gen Z Utah LDS Women (Deadline of Oct 11th)

    My friend Pam Shepherd, a communications professional at George Mason University and a sixth-generation Latter-day Saint, joins us to share some of her journey growing up Mormon while not always feeling like she fit the traditional Mormon mold. Pam talks about navigating that experience at BYU and later as a young single adult in the Washington, DC area. She also discusses her desire to better understand the experiences of Gen Z Utah Latter-day Saint women (ages 18-29) on a variety of issues. That curiosity led to a research project for which she is currently seeking anonymous survey participants (see show notes for details). Thank you, Pam, for sharing both your personal story and the motivation behind this important research. Your experiences navigating life both within and outside traditional Mormon expectations give you a unique perspective as you seek to better understand the experiences of Gen Z Utah Latter-day Saint women. I appreciate your willingness to undertake this work and contribute meaningful data to an area where little research currently exists. It was a pleasure having you on the podcast. If you are a Gen Z LDS woman, I encourage you to fill out Pam’s survey. Survey: https://gmu.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_eE9q7qaZAsdbAHA Email: pshephe@gmu.edu Instagram: @pammyshep

  5. Sep 27

    Episode 939: Parker Vassau, Age 33, Business Owner, Helping Men Find Confidence

    My friend Parker Vassau (married father of 3, business owner—marketing and pest control, longtime friend) joins us to share his story: Unexpected illness at age 14—tumor, complications, and not being able to eat for four months Principles to serve a successful mission—Parker knows this well after serving in Bulgaria. Not being defined by his ACT score of 16 Vision a BYU teacher have game him—acting on that vision—hard work and sacrifice to make it happen Supporting the many young men that are part of his businesses including being a safe place Starting his podcast called “The Committed Man” (see show notes) Insightful comments about mental health Powerful tribute to his step-father Darl McBride and our dear family friend (who died in Sept 2024 of ALS) Thank you my friend Parker for being on the podcast and all you are doing to help and build others. You inspire me. I encourage everyone to check out this episode and connect with Parker’s podcast. Links: The Committed Man podcast: www.committedman.com Parker on IG: @parker.vassau

  6. Sep 24

    Episode 938: Matt Mosman, High Councilor over Gayest Ward in the Church, Great Ally

    Matt Mosman (friend from BYU MBA school, prior senior vice president of development at Oracle, currently general parter of venture capital firm in Salt Lake, well known expert on mergers and acquisitions), joins us to share the story of being called as the High Councilor over the Bay Ward in San Francisco and all they did to help the gay men and women feel welcome at Church. Those efforts including calling an “openly gay man” Mitch Maynes into the Bishopric as the executive secretary and sending a letter out to all ward members they are welcome and won’t be excommunicated for showing up at Church. Matt talks about speaking throughout the Stake on better supporting LGBTQ members and how he handed “the heat his took” for his advocacy. He talks about how God created His queer children as intended and we should look at them as beloved children of Heavenly Parents. Matt wrote a powerful essay called “How to Read Your Religion’s Foundational Texts” (see show notes) where he powerfully shares his feelings on: * Jesus’s strongest condemnation was for the Pharisees—and how that applies today * The parable of the Good Samaritan—best summary I’ve ever read Further, Matt is completely clear about why he stays in the Church and how he feels about where the Church is with its LGBTQ members: “What I mean by "cafeteria Christian" is this: a person who accepts large portions of their tradition's teaching while consciously declining others. I am one of these people. I am a committed member of my own denomination. I believe deeply in its foundational claims. I try to live according to its principles. Yet there are positions my church holds on certain matters — including, specifically, the treatment of LGBTQ members — where I have concluded, after long and prayerful consideration, that my tradition is simply wrong. I hold that view while remaining within the tradition, because I understand my faith to be larger than any single institutional position.” One of Matt’s gifts is being bold and clear—and he uses that gift to talk about how to better support our LGBT friends. Matt—who is politically left—also talks about speaking up to share how he feels even if it is a minority position. Matt shares his son coming out as gay several years after Matt’s High Council assignment and how that was a non-event—as a closest youth he already knew his Dad loved him as he saw-first hand his Dad’s advocacy—super powerful parenting experience for us all to consider. Thank you, Matt, for being on the podcast and all you do to help create Zion by helpful everyone feel welcome, loved and needed. You are a good man. I encourage everyone to listen to and share this powerful episode. Links: Matt’s essay: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/hd1utwih1h1qagx2eg0qn/How-to-Read-Your-Religion-s-Foundational-Texts-by-Matt-Mosman.pdf?rlkey=81quise3my3vii3brjri5jz74&dl=0

  7. Sep 21

    Episode 937: Doug Staker, LGBTQ Ally, Sanctuary Artist

    My friend Doug Staker (father of three, Master of Architecture from UCLA, Principal Architect with Squaremoon Studio, lives in Salt Lake City) joins us to share the story of the genesis of Sanctuary—a physical structure representing safely/love/acceptance that was first part of Utah Pride in 2018. Doug talks about his gay brother Thomas and becoming curious and going on a trip where he asked, “tell me about your life”. Doug talks about how this transformed his perspective about queer people and felt spiritually called to ally and use his creative and architecture expertise. This spiritual impression led to the creation of sanctuary that has been part of Utah Pride four different times. Doug talks about being at the Encircle gala and connecting with Autumn McAlpin (film producer, mother of two queer children) which led to the creation of Sanctuary—a full length powerful documentary film about LGBTQ Latter-day Saints (see show notes on how to watch/share this must-see film). Doug talks about two of his children coming out as queer (trans and bi-sexual) and his journey to love and accept them—super powerful. Thank you, Doug, for being on the podcast and sharing your remarkable story of using your God given talents to love and support our queer friends. Thanks for following your spiritual impressions to walk into this space and make a difference. Thank you, Autumn McAlpin, and Vienna Boyes (all the entire team) for your efforts to direct, produce and release this deeply moving documentary—I was so moved watching it a few months ago. I invite everyone to listen to Doug’s podcast and watch/share Sanctuary. Links: Doug’s Sanctuary project website: https://www.squaremoon.art/ Sanctuary Documentary: https://sanctuarydoc.com/

  8. Sep 18

    Episode 936: Dan Hamby, Forgiving the Man who Murdered His Father

    My friend Dan Hamby (married father of four) joins us to share his super powerful story of meeting with and ultimately forgiving the man who murdered his father Everett when Dan was 7 years old. Dan talks he wasn’t looking to connect with or forgive his father killer—but how that unlikely connection was established by his seminary teacher. Dad talks about how forgiving his father killer helped him in ways he didn’t know he needed. Dad talks about meeting with his father’s killer after his mission and how they helped him better understand God love for all of us and how our “value never changes” This is one of the most powerful and moving podcasts we’ve ever done. A must listen. If you are navigating the unfairness and wounding of life, please listen to Dan’s story along with his testimony of the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ to heal. It will give you more hope and vision of the possibilities in your future. Thank you, Dan, for being on the podcast. I was so moved and uplifted listen to your story—a story that gives all of us more vision on the power of forgiveness. Links: Facebook: www.facebook.com/dan.hamby IG: @dan_hamby72 e-mail: danhamby@outlook.com

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About

Welcome to our podcast! My name is Richard H. Ostler and I am a native of Salt Lake City, small business owner, married father of six with several grandchildren. I believe in and am deeply committed to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and want it to work for a wider group. I am the author of three books: “Listen Learn and Love: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints” published in 2020 available at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462135773) “Listen Learn and Love: Improving Latter-day Saint Culture” published in 2022. The book explores who we can do better to help all Latter-day Saints feel more welcome, needed and a feeling of belonging in our congregations. Available at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462139566) “Listen Learn and Love: Building the Good Ship Zion” released in Sept 2023. The book explores additional topics to help all Latter-day Saint feel welcome and needed on the Good Ship Zion. Available at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462145280) The purpose of all three books is to help us better create Zion by helping more feel welcome, a sense of belonging, and needed in our congregations. Proceed from the books go the Stockton Power Memorial Scholarship (www.standingforstockton.com) in honor of Stockton Powers a gay Latter-day Saint teenager who died of suicide in 2016. Everything I do is a self-funded labor of love ❤️ I am the author of two Ensign articles: ‘How the Savior’s Healing Power Applies to Repenting from Sexual Sin’ (August 2020/YSA Digital Only) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/08/young-adults/how-the-saviors-healing-power-applies-to-repenting-from-sexual-sin ‘7 Tips for Overcoming Pornography Use’ (October, page 72) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/10/young-adults/7-tips-for-overcoming-pornography-use. This podcast is designed to discuss some more complicated issues in our church to help all of us better “listen, learn and love” so we can minister in a more effective way to all of our Heavenly Parents’ children. Podcasts are indexed by category at listenlearnandlove.org/podcasts Thank you for joining us. You can't donate to this podcast. There are no sponsors. But you can leave a review/rate the podcast on the platform you are listening and/or leave a review at Deseret Book/Amazon on my books. With love, Richard 'Papa' Ostler ❤ Twitter: twitter.com/Papa_Ostler IG: www.instagram.com/papa_ostler Facebook: facebook.com/richard.ostler.5 Substack: https://substack.com/@papaostler E-mail: richard@ostlergroup.com

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