The Leader's Journey Podcast

Jim Herrington & Trisha Taylor
  • 4.9 (85)
  • Religion & Spirituality
  • Updated Semimonthly

In each episode, we are going to work to give you one easy to understand concept and tell you at least one story that illustrates the concept being put into practice. The concept will be easy to understand, but it will require your very best self and a good deal of practice over time if you are going to implement it.

  1. Jul 11

    The Parenting Paradox: Differentiation-based Parenting With Dr. Jenny Brown

    Parenting has never come with more advice, more experts, or more pressure. But what if becoming a healthier parent has less to do with finding the perfect strategy and more to do with becoming a more grounded person? In this episode, Trisha Taylor is joined by Dr. Michael DeRuyter and Dr. Jenny Brown, the author of The Parenting Paradox,  to discuss the book and explore what family systems theory teaches about raising resilient children. Together they unpack the tension between caring deeply for our children while resisting the urge to over-function, over-protect, or define our success by our children's choices. Whether you're parenting young children, adult children, grandchildren, or simply navigating important relationships, this conversation offers a refreshing perspective on leading with clarity, connection, and thoughtful conviction.   Dr. Jenny Brown is a highly respected family therapist, educator and founder of the Parent Hope Project, a social enterprise dedicated to improving children's wellbeing by strengthening parents. Drawing on decades of clinical practice with the Family Systems Institute, Jenny supports parents, educators and clinicians to understand family dynamics and make meaningful, lasting change. She is the author of The Parenting Paradox and Growing Yourself Up about adult development and relationships. She is also the host of the Parent Hope podcast.    Dr. Michael DeRuyter is a pastor, coach and consultant with The Leader's Journey. He has completed four years of postgraduate study at the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family, served as a research fellow studying family systems, and earned a certificate in systems thinking from Cornell University. Mike holds a Doctor of Ministry from Fuller Theological Seminary and has spent more than 15 years helping leaders, parents, and organizations apply Bowen Family Systems Theory to foster greater spiritual, emotional, and relational maturity.   Conversation Overview   -Parenting Begins with Your Own Growth -Define Your Job Description -Resist Anxiety, Not Connection -Parenting and Technology -Parenting in an Age of Endless Advice -Preparing Children for Life Beyond You   Resources Parent Hope Project   The Parenting Paradox: Loving Our Children by Giving Them Space to Grow - Jenny Brown     Growing Yourself Up, 2nd Edition: How to bring your best to all of life's relationships - Jenny Brown   Bowen family systems theory in Christian ministry: Grappling with Theory and its Application Through a Biblical Lens - Jenny Brown, Lauren Errington   The Anxious Generation -  Jonathan Haidt

  2. Jun 27

    Strengthening Your Immune System - Navigating the System

    In the final installment of this series on healthy organizational systems, Trisha and Mac unpack the last three practices from Peter Steinke's work on strengthening an organization's "immune system." Together they explore why healthy leaders focus on process along with content, the entire system, not just symptoms, and direction, not just current condition. Through stories from ministry and organizational leadership, they show how these shifts help leaders move beyond blame, navigate discouragement, and create lasting health instead of chasing quick fixes. Conversation Overview Look Beyond Symptoms Avoid the Trap of Blame Treat Symptoms Like Smoke Alarms Focus on Direction More Than Condition Stay the Course Through Discouragement Lead with Conviction, Not Anxiety Practice Before You Need It Resources How Your Church Family Works - Peter Steinke Healthy Congregations - Peter Steinke Strengthening Your Leadership Immune System - Episode One Growing Through Challenge Over Comfort - Episode Two Find Us On YouTube

  3. Jun 13

    Growing Through Challenge Over Comfort

    Growth rarely happens in comfort. In this episode, Trisha and Mac continue their discussion of Peter Steinke's framework for healthy leadership and organizations by exploring the tension between comfort and challenge. They examine why leaders often rush to relieve discomfort, fix problems, or protect people from struggle, and how those instincts can actually undermine growth. Through practical examples from leadership, ministry, parenting, coaching, and personal development, they discuss how resilience is built when leaders create environments where people can stretch, struggle, and mature rather than simply stay comfortable.   Conversation Overview   Development Requires Struggle Over-Functioning Creates Under-Functioning Challenge Builds Capacity Comfort Can Become a Trap Questions Create Growth Tension Is Necessary for Transformation Move Toward Difficult Conversations Growth Has a Cost Comfort and Compassion Still Matter Resources   How Your Church Family Works – Peter Steinke Kathleen Smith - The Anxious Overacheiver

  4. May 23

    Strengthening Your Leadership Immune System

    In this episode, Trisha and Mac begin their series on leadership responses to build health by exploring two foundational practices for leadership: focusing on self rather than others, and choosing integrity over unity. Together, they unpack how anxiety pushes leaders to become reactive, emotionally fused, and overly focused on managing other people's responses. They discuss the hard work of clarifying guiding principles, staying grounded in moments of tension, and leading from conviction instead of fear. Conversation Overview   "Focus on self, not others" is foundational in emotionally healthy leadership How leaders lose themselves when other people's reactions become the compass Why integrity is not the same thing as selfishness The importance of guiding principles during high-anxiety moments How Jesus modeled clarity, boundaries, and differentiated leadership Healthy systems need both individuality and connection The relationship between integrity, boundaries, and emotional maturity How anxiety spreads through systems — and how leaders can lower it instead of amplifying it   Resources   How Your Church Family Works - Peter Steinke Kathleen Smith Bowen Family Systems Edwin Friedman - A Failure of Nerve

  5. May 9

    Steve Cuss: Leadership, Anxiety and Sabotage

    Do we love people by tolerating their terrible behavior? How do we stop demonizing people who get in our way? What about when I am the one who is sabotaging change? In our conversation with Steve Cuss, author of Managing Leadership Anxiety: Yours and Theirs, we look at the reality of sabotage in the process of leading change. Because anxiety spreads in a group and because typically the most anxious person in the room holds the most power, managing ourselves in the face of sabotage is always the key to leadership survival. We hope you'll listen in.   Conversation Overview Anxiety: even more contagious than COVID Does love mean I have to tolerate people's terrible behavior? How do I stop demonizing people who get in my way? Advantages of systems theory for leadership Working our way out of double binds Managing ourselves in triangles (and don't miss Steve's great definition of a triangle!)   About Steve Steve Cuss is a multi-talented leader and also the pastor at Discovery Christian Church in Broomfield, CO. Steve's Twitter feed is gold. Follow him @stevecusswords You can also check out everything he's doing, including his podcast, at www.stevecusswords.com His book is Managing Leadership Anxiety: Yours and Theirs.   Also mentioned on the podcast: Generation to Generation by Edwin Friedman The Family Crucible by Augustus Napier and Carl Whitaker

  6. Apr 25

    Getting the Most Out of Coaching

    In this episode, Trisha and Nate talk about how to get the most out of a coaching relationship. They explore what makes coaching effective, why it requires active participation, and how clients can show up in ways that lead to real growth. From setting the agenda to asking better questions, they offer practical insights for both new and experienced coaching clients.   Conversation Overview Coaching Requires Active Participation Curiosity Over Expertise Focus on Your Own Actions Coaching is a Conversation Finding Value in Required Coaching   Resources   The Leader's Journey Podcast: Being Coachable    Nate Pyle - The Leader's Journey

  7. Apr 11

    Beyond Fight/Flight: The Fawn Response (People pleasing and Peacekeeping) (Re-release)

    *This episode was originally published in July, 2023.  In this episode, we're joined by Dr. Chuck DeGroat to talk about the natural reactivity we have to anxiety. We've talked a lot about fight and flight, conflict and distancing, but we don't always add two other instinctive reactions: freeze and fawn.  We may aspire to peace-making but we often settle for peace keeping and people-pleasing. When we can see our fawn response, we can stop hiding and courageously choose genuine connection instead. Conversation Overview:  Chuck's tweet that inspired this conversation How does the fawn response mimic healthy connection while also undermining it? How does the fawn response show up in leadership? How do we connect the fawn response to anxiety? What might we do instead of fawning? References:  Link to Chuck's Tweet Chuck Degroat Website https://twitter.com/chuckdegroat @chuckdegroat on Threads Janina Fisher  The Fifth Discipline: The art and practice of the learning organization Healing Developmental Trauma: How Early Trauma Affects Self-Regulation, Self-Image, and the Capacity for Relationship The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable

  8. Mar 28

    How to Ask a Question

    Asking a question seems simple, but it's often where communication breaks down. In this episode, Trisha focuses on how the way we ask questions shapes the responses we get, the relationships we build, and the outcomes we experience. She explores the difference between genuine curiosity and hidden agendas, how poorly formed questions can create confusion or defensiveness, and what it looks like to ask questions that invite clarity, trust, and deeper understanding in real-life situations.   Conversation Overview Why asking questions is harder than it seems The difference between curiosity and control in questions How assumptions shape the questions we ask The impact of tone, timing, and intent Questions that open vs. questions that shut down conversation Practicing better questions in everyday leadership and relationships Resources   The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More and Change the Way You Lead Forever by Michael Bungay Stanier   Change Your Questions Change Your Life: 12 Powerful Tools for Leadership, Coaching and Life by Marilee Adams, PhD   Find Us on YouTube   Explore the Series:    Episode One  - How to Have a Conversation Episode Two - Moving Past the Memo - Conversations in Organizations Episode Three - When Talking Isn't Enough

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In each episode, we are going to work to give you one easy to understand concept and tell you at least one story that illustrates the concept being put into practice. The concept will be easy to understand, but it will require your very best self and a good deal of practice over time if you are going to implement it.

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