For years, I believed success required me to work harder, stay later, sacrifice more, and keep pushing until I finally reached the next level. I had the goals, the vision boards, the better jobs, the business, and the achievements—but I still didn't feel fulfilled. In this episode, I sit down with Joey Vaillancourt, founder of the Success Collapse Formula, to unpack the moment when his relentless drive finally collided with the life he was trying to build. After years of working three shifts a day, Joey found himself sitting in front of three screens late at night while his wife asked him to simply come to bed—and realized he was repeating the same pattern that had already contributed to the end of a previous marriage. Joey shares how he began questioning the identity that told him everything had to be hard, how changing his beliefs changed the way he operated, and why he now sees life as a "great experiment" rather than a series of pass-or-fail outcomes. We explore the hidden beliefs and childhood experiences that can shape the way we work, the difference between pain and the story we attach to it, and what happens when you start living today as the person you think you'll only become after reaching the next finish line. Most surprisingly, Joey discovered that doing less, taking more vacations, and stepping away from the constant pressure didn't slow his business down—it helped him double his revenue while working less than half as much. This is a conversation about success, family, identity, and learning how to actually enjoy the life you've worked so hard to create. Highlights (03:05) – Why achieving more never made Joey feel more fulfilled Joey explains how an identity built around achievement, productivity, and constant progress helped him create success—but left him feeling increasingly disconnected from his own life. (04:30) – The late-night conversation that forced Joey to confront his pattern Working his "third shift" at night, Joey's wife asked why he was still working and told him she simply missed him. The conversation became a painful realization that his work pattern was threatening the very family he was trying to provide for. (05:45) – Recognizing the same pattern that had contributed to a previous divorce Joey realized that changing his circumstances hadn't changed the person operating underneath them. He was in a new marriage with a new family, but repeating the same behavior that had caused problems before. (08:00) – The two intentions that began changing Joey's life Joey decided to surrender more, put his family and life first, and stop postponing the things he said he wanted. That decision led him to seek coaching, rethink his priorities, and deliberately create a different path. (11:03) – The belief that completely changed Joey's definition of success Joey shares the conversation that challenged his assumption that success required hustle, sacrifice, and working harder than everyone else—and introduced him to the idea that results could come from a more relaxed state. (14:37) – The warning signs that you're trapped in your own success pattern From the knot in your stomach to sleepless nights, dread, resentment, and constantly believing the next finish line will finally make things different, Joey breaks down the signals people often ignore. (16:00) – Pain is inevitable, but the story you attach to it can change Joey explains how viewing life as pass/fail can turn difficult experiences into prolonged suffering—and how treating life as an experiment can create a completely different relationship with setbacks. (18:01) – What happens when you start living like you already have what you want Joey shares an exercise that challenged him to stop waiting for future success before spending time with his family, taking vacations, working out, and actually living the life he said he wanted. (20:00) – How doing less helped Joey double his revenue Joey explains what happened when he stopped micromanaging, took more vacations, worked less, and let his teams take more ownership—and why his "reverse formula" produced surprising business results. (21:55) – The childhood experiences that can become an adult operating system Joey shares a powerful story from playing competitive hockey with his father and how an early lesson about disappointing others may have contributed to a lifelong pattern of people-pleasing and overachievement. (25:37) – Turning your past "failures" into the building blocks of your success Joey explains why he no longer sees his previous careers, creative pursuits, and ventures as failures, but as experiments that gave him the skills and experiences necessary to become who he is today. (30:09) – Introducing the Success Collapse Formula After years of coaching, brain training, health work, and personal development, Joey explains how he combined what he learned into his own framework for creating success while working less and living more. (31:10) – The story of the night Joey realized something had to change Kyle transforms Joey's experience into a powerful stage story, capturing the three screens, the cold coffee, the conversation with his wife, and the realization that he had been postponing his life. (35:00) – The surprising value Joey discovered beyond revenue and achievement After doubling his revenue while working less, Joey realized he had discovered something more valuable than the success he had spent years chasing—and prepares to share the process with others. (40:17) – Breaking generational patterns without blaming the people who came before you Joey discusses how developing compassion for his father allowed him to recognize what he wanted to keep, what he wanted to challenge, and what he wanted to do differently for his own children. (42:21) – Joey's challenge: Start living life like a great experiment Joey closes with a simple philosophy: stop putting so much pressure on yourself, stay curious about what life is teaching you, and look for the meaning that emerges from the experiences you're already living.
