The UNcivilized Podcast with Traver Boehm

Traver Boehm
  • 4.9 (179)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

For people who see through the veil of the civilized paradigm.

  1. NSFW EP 432 Masks, Shadows & Sex Like LSD | Athos Khan

    2d ago

    NSFW EP 432 Masks, Shadows & Sex Like LSD | Athos Khan

    Fair warning — this one is not safe for work. It's also not safe for anyone who wants to keep pretending that what happens in the bedroom has nothing to do with who you are everywhere else. —— Athos Khan is a board-certified physician, Jungian-influenced philosopher, and author of several books on kink, intimacy, and the deeper psychology underneath both. He's been kinky since the beginning — and he's spent the last several years writing and thinking about why that matters far beyond the bedroom. We go deep on things most people are too uncomfortable to say out loud. Why the West stripped the meaning out of sex and what that's actually costing us. Jung's conception of libido as a generative force — not just a rush to orgasm. Why great sex is dangerous, what your fantasies are actually pointing at symbolically, and why the shadow doesn't disappear just because you ignore it. We also talk about what it means to orient all of this toward good — even when what you're doing looks, from the outside, like it has no business being called that. If you've ever felt like your sexuality was bigger than you knew how to hold, this episode might be the framework you didn't know you were looking for. —— Connect with Athos: Substack YouTube Books — available on Amazon: Love is a Kink | The Architecture of Intimacy | Structuring Desire —— You might also enjoy these related conversations: The Deep Psychology of BDSM & Kink w/ Dr. Douglas Thomas EP 415 — Living an UNtamed Life by Following Your Truth | Kati Bird —— Men –– Join The UNcivilized Nation Connect with Traver: Website Substack Instagram: @traverboehm Get my books Chapter List 00:00 Intro 01:01 Meet Athos: Doctor, Philosopher, and Kinky as Hell 07:27 Why the West Got Sex Wrong 13:32 Sex Like LSD — Not Chardonnay 22:41 Safe Containers and Starting Points 29:58 Your Darkest Fantasies and What They're Actually Pointing At 41:33 Why This Energy Is So Big 50:24 Integration: When the Mask Becomes Your Face 01:00:37 Orientation Toward Good 01:04:58 Wrap Up

    1h 6m

  2. Jun 29

    EP 431 Ayahuasca and Exploring Consciousness | Sam Believ

    Most people think Ayahuasca is a drug. A trip. Something you do once to see some visuals and come back with a good story. Sam Believ has sat with over 3,000 people at Lawayra — the highest-rated ayahuasca retreat in South America — and he'll tell you that couldn't be further from the truth. Sam is a Latvian engineer who walked away from a six-figure offshore oil and gas career, landed in Colombia, and found himself more lost than ever. Ayahuasca didn't just help him heal — it gave him a purpose he didn't see coming. Now he runs the biggest retreat in the country, hosts the Ayahuasca Podcast, and has made it part of his mission to reframe Colombia from drugs to medicine. We get into what actually happens inside a ceremony — the weeks of preparation, the moment you drink, the purging, the music, the shaman's role — and why the West's obsession with isolating the active ingredient and stripping away the tradition might be the very thing that makes it less effective. Sam puts it simply: separating the medicine from its tradition is like separating a plant from its roots. Eventually it dies. We also get into the mental health piece — why a diagnosis isn't always the whole story, why making it part of your identity can actually keep you stuck, and what these medicines do that years of therapy alone often can't. If you've been curious about plant medicine — or skeptical of it — this one is worth your full attention. Connect with Traver:InstagramSubstackWebsite Ready to UNcivilize your life? Start here Men, Join us in The UNcivilized Nation — a community of men doing the real work Find Sam Believ:WebsiteRetreatPodcastAyahuasca Course Chapter List  00:00 From Oil Rig Engineer to Ayahuasca Retreat Leader 08:22 Ibogaine, Tradition, and Why Ceremony Still Matters 17:34 Ceremony Walkthrough: What to Expect 28:57 What a Shaman Actually Sees 34:49 Understanding Mental Health: A Dual Perspective 42:59 The Spiritual Awakening Through Ayahuasca 50:42 AI, Purpose, and the Future of Community 58:04 Where to Find Sam

    1h 1m

  3. Jun 22

    EP 430 How I Control Alt Deleted My Life At 40 | Traver Boehm

    A decade ago, I woke up and it felt like my life had crashed all at once. A miscarriage. A divorce. A business partnership ending — all inside of a few months. These weren't small things. I found three things that worked like hitting a reset button — control, alt, delete. You know, the command you give your computer when something's stuck. They helped me stop fighting what had happened and lit the way to rebuilding on purpose. Accept it's happening — Not why it's happening, not what it means. Just: this is real, and figuring out the why won't undo it. The moment I stopped spending my energy on why and started spending it on what's next, everything shifted. Make space, then get curious — When the life you had gets cleared out, there's suddenly room. Don't rush to fill it with the next relationship, the next business, the next distraction. Sit in it. That's where you start noticing what's actually trying to come through. Bust your ass — Once you know the direction, go all in. Rebuilding isn't comfortable and it sure isn't fast. I wrote three books in ten years, drove twelve hours to teach a free workshop, and slept in my truck. That's just a little of what it took. Over a decade later, and I still wouldn't trade the life I'm building for the one I "lost." If you know someone in the middle of their own version of this, please send them this episode. —— Want to go deeper?My first book, Today I Rise, was written during my own divorce Or watch Transformations: How to Navigate Life's Biggest Changes for more on what real change actually requires And if you don't know where to start, get the framework here. —— Connect with Traver:InstagramSubstackWebsite Chapter List 00:00 Control Alt Delete: A Life Reset 05:48 Accept That It's Happening 11:33 Make the Space — Then Get Curious 17:05 Bust Your Ass — Build the New Life 20:30 Wrap Up

    23 min

  4. Jun 15

    EP 429 What Every Man Needs to Know About Menopause | Dr. Kelly Casperson

    If you’re a man in any kind of relationship with a woman, you need to listen to this podcast. Menopause isn't just a women's issue. And if you're in a relationship with someone going through it, this conversation might be the most useful thing you listen to all year. Dr. Kelly Casperson is a urologist, author, and host of the You Are Not Broken podcast. She was spending her days mostly treating men's sexual health — testosterone, erectile dysfunction, all of it — and realized somewhere along the way that nobody was asking the next obvious question: what about their partners? I first had Kelly on to talk about sex and men's health. This time we went somewhere different. After I spoke at one of her menopause seminars in Chicago, I knew we had to come back and have this conversation for the guys. Menopause is an initiation for women. What most men don't realize is that it's an initiation for them too. We get into the biology of what's actually happening, why men check out, smother, or collapse when it shows up, what it does to libido and sex, and why this midlife passage — as uncomfortable as it gets — is one of the greatest opportunities for growth a man will ever get. If your partner is in perimenopause or menopause — or will be — this one is required listening. —— Start here Men – Join The UNcivilized Nation —— First episode with Dr. Kelly Casperson Find Dr. Kelly Casperson:  Instagram Website Books – You Are Not Broken | The Menopause Moment Podcast – You Are Not Broken Chapter List: 00:00 Intro 01:29 Why Men Avoid This Conversation 10:29 Menopause Is an Initiation 15:33 The Biology of Menopause 36:19 What Men Get Wrong 38:36 The Evolution of Relationships 42:52 Male Archetypes in Relationships 43:26 The 1950s Marlboro Man 47:24 The Sensitive New Age Guy (The Nice Guy) 52:40 The Collapsed Guy 55:29 Libido, Hormones, and What Changes 57:55 How to Talk About It 59:34 The Orgasm Gap 01:02:29 Beyond Friction 01:08:12 Men — Look in the Mirror 01:15:41 One Conversation to Have This Week 01:16:40 Should You Go to the Doctor With Her? 01:20:29 Wrap Up

    1h 24m

  5. Jun 8

    EP 428 One Life. Soul Led. All In. Everything you need to know. | Traver Boehm

    Last summer I spent 49 days alone in a pitch-black room in Italy. No light. No phone. No people. Just me and whatever was waiting on the other side of all that silence. Somewhere around week two, at 4 am, walking six steps in one direction and six steps back, four words dropped without warning. One Life. Soul Led. All In. That dropped me to my knees. This episode is the full framework — the story behind it, what each piece means, and why I'll be teaching this for the next decade. One Life — Most of us are living three. Public, private, and secret. We burn enormous energy keeping them from colliding. The work is collapsing them into one. Not necessarily by going fully public — but by not having internal secrets. By being able to look in the mirror and say: this is who I am, all of it. Soul Led — The deepest, truest part of you. When you make decisions from there, things work. When you don't, you end up chasing whatever your version of the bottle, the screen, or the distraction is. I know mine. I talk about them here. All In — Around day 35 I hit a wall. I was 25 pounds lighter, sleep-deprived, staring down two more weeks with nothing but my own mind. What came through: “What is required of you is a heroic effort, because you have chosen a Herculean task.” The all-in piece isn't just motivation. It's the reserve tank for when willpower starts to run dry. I also talk about what the eight months after the retreat actually looked like. It wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. But underneath all of it — more grounded than I've ever been. —— Ready to start? Want to know where this all started?  Read the book about my first Dark Retreat Want to hear from the woman who guided me through it?  Listen to EP 419 with Arpita Kshama Devi —— Connect with Traver:  Instagram Substack Website Chapter List 00:00 Introduction to the One Life, Soul Led, All In Framework 00:58 The Story of OLSLAI 02:25 The Mantra: One Life, All In, No Cone 09:58 One Life. Soul Led. All In. 12:28 One Life: Unifying Public, Private, and Secret Lives 17:26 Soul Led. 22:35 Questions for the Soul 23:46 All In. 26:46 The Heroic Effort Required 32:09 Lives Reorganized 34:47 OLSLAI & UNcivilized: How They Work Together

    39 min

  6. Jun 1

    EP 427 The Many Scarred Woman Apprenticing With Grief | Siobhan Asgharzadeh

    Most humans aren’t taught to grieve. And that avoidance — of grief, of death, of darkness — might be the thing costing us the most. Siobhan Asgharzadeh is a grief guide, death midwife, and storyteller who has spent her life apprenticing to the forces most of us spend ours running from. In this conversation, we get into what it actually means to trust death, why our cultural distrust of it is keeping us small and stuck, and how grief — when you stop caging it — becomes one of the most generative forces in a human life. Siobhan lost her best friend at 33. A month later, she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and lost her eyesight. What came out of that darkness wasn't just survival — it was the beginning of a deep and ongoing apprenticeship with grief, death, story, and the inner world. She calls herself a grief pilgrim, and this conversation will make it clear why. We cover the distrust of death as the root of cultural disease, what it looks like to build a real relationship with grief instead of just managing it, the wolf framework for working with grief at street level, why darkness isn't the enemy — and why our obsession with light is costing us, the medicine of story and how it carried her through losing her sight, eldership as capacity rather than age, and what it means to find the extraordinary in the ordinary. This one goes deep. If grief, death, or darkness have been knocking at your door — this is the conversation to sit with. —— Ready to go deeper? https://www.manuncivilized.com/start Join The UNcivilized Nation — a brotherhood of men doing the work: https://www.manuncivilized.com/thenation —— Connect with Siobhan: https://griefpilgrim.com/ Instagram @grief_pilgrim —— Connect with Traver:  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/traverboehm  Substack: https://traverboehm.substack.com  Website: https://www.manuncivilized.com Chapter List 00:00 Welcome & Meet Siobhan 00:58 The Land of Taos & What It Asks of You 04:34 How Grief Found Her 08:35 Beginning the Apprenticeship With Grief 10:13 Learning to Trust Death 15:06 What Culture Gets Wrong About Death 21:09 Using Death as a Compass 27:37 Non-Human Teachers & Chronic Illness as Initiation 32:52 The Responsibility of the Initiated 35:10 Eldership as Capacity, Not Age 42:11 Losing Her Sight to Finally See 43:19 Lessons from Losing Sight 48:48 The Medicine of Story & How to Court a Relationship With Grief 54:23 Wrap up & Where to Find Siobhan

    1h 2m

  7. May 25

    EP 426 Talking About Things We’re Not Supposed To | David Sutcliffe

    I want to be upfront with you — this conversation goes some places that not every podcast will go. David Sutcliffe is a somatic therapist, men's work facilitator, and former Hollywood actor who has made a career out of sitting with the men most people won't. He's interviewed Andrew Tate. He's sat across from Justin Waller. He's been in rooms where men have admitted things most of us can't even say out loud. And he keeps showing up — not because he's reckless, but because he genuinely believes that the truth lives in the places we've decided are off limits. This is his second time on the podcast, and we didn't hold back. We talk about the Heyoka — the sacred provocateur in Lakota tradition — and why men like Tate, Kanye, and Trump might be playing a role in the culture that nobody wants to admit is necessary. We get into transference, and why any man who wants to lead — in his home, his business, his community — needs to understand what it is and how it works. We talk about liberation, what it actually means, and why David says it comes down to one thing: presence. And then the conversation goes where it goes. Shadow. Sexuality. The complexity of human nature. The parts of men that don't fit into a clean narrative about good guys and bad guys. David doesn't flinch, and neither did I. As I mentioned at the top of the episode — this one gets into some territory that warrants a heads up. If you made it this far, you already know what you're signing up for. This is the conversation we're not supposed to be having. That's exactly why we had it. —— Ready to go deeper? Men, join us in The UNcivilized Nation —— Listen to David's first appearance on the podcast Connect with David —— Connect with Traver:  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/traverboehm  Substack: https://traverboehm.substack.com  Website: https://www.manuncivilized.com –– Chapter List ​​00:00 Who Is David Sutcliffe 02:08 The Role of Controversial Figures in Culture 10:05 Navigating Personal Pain and Public Perception 12:20 The Cost of Staying in Your Mask 16:29 Why Being Misunderstood Sets You Free 20:33 Defining Transference 22:32 What Liberation Actually Looks Like 29:46 Relationship as Spiritual Practice 33:19 Spiritual Practices and Personal Growth 36:57 The Collective Shadow Coming to the Surface 46:30 Justice, Punishment, and the Complexity of Human Nature 56:15 Wrap Up & Where to Find David

    57 min

  8. May 18

    EP 425 Sex Is Broken. Here's What to Do About It. | Traver Boehm

    I've been sitting on this idea for years. I almost wrote an entire book about it before I wrote Man UNcivilized. Today I'm finally talking about it publicly — and yes, it's about sex. But it's really about a lot more than that. —— The sexual paradigm most of us inherited is broken. I don't say that to be provocative. I say it because we have an Epstein list, telegram rooms where men share tips on how to drug their wives, and at the same time — people are having less sex than ever. Less connection. Less desire. That's not a coincidence. That's what happens when you max out on incoming sexual energy and have nowhere real to put it. I'm not here to fix the culture. I'm here to offer a different option — what I'm calling The UNcivilized Bedroom. In this solo episode, I walk through the three pillars of this framework: The Potential — how what you do in the bedroom can change your confidence, your business, and your life outside of it. The Foundation — why the secret to great sex has nothing to do with technique, and everything to do with whether or not you've done your own work. The Experience — what it actually looks and feels like when sex becomes intentional, consensual, and fully relational. This is a teaser. There's more coming — guest episodes, deeper conversations, and the first live event I'm hosting in Boulder in May, details below. —— Join me in person on May 23 in Boulder for The UNcivilized Bedroom: www.manuncivilized.com/bedroom —— Join The UNcivilized Nation — a brotherhood of men doing the work: https://www.manuncivilized.com/thenation —— Connect with Traver:  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/traverboehm  Substack: https://traverboehm.substack.com  Website: https://www.manuncivilized.com 00:00 The Uncivilized Bedroom: An Introduction 00:56 The Broken Sexual Paradigm 04:15 Consent 05:03 The Layout 05:19 The Potential 09:29 The Foundation 12:50 The Experience 16:48 Wrap Up

    19 min
See All (431)

4.9
out of 5
179 Ratings

About

For people who see through the veil of the civilized paradigm.

Information

You Might Also Like