Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CST

Ken Howard, LCSW, CST
  • 4.6 (130)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Daily

Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CST A gay men's mental health, sex, and relationships podcast If you've ever wished there were a therapy-informed podcast just for gay men, you're in the right place. I'm Ken Howard, LCSW, CST – a gay men's specialist psychotherapist, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, Certified Psychiatric Social Worker, longtime LGBTQ+ advocate, and gay men's life/career/relationship coach with over 32 years' experience working almost exclusively with gay male individuals, couples, and polycules. On Gay Therapy LA, you'll get more than clichés or recycled pop psychology. This is a deep-dive podcast for gay men's mental health, sex, and relationships—rooted in real clinical experience with thousands of clients over three decades. We talk about what actually shows up in gay men's lives: Mental health for gay men: anxiety, depression, trauma, shame, internalized homophobia Gay men's relationships: monogamy, open relationships, consensual non-monogamy, polycules, jealousy, trust, communication Sex therapy for gay men: desire, performance, erections, ejaculation, kink, porn, HIV, PrEP, sexual confidence Gay men and aging: body image, muscles, appearance pressure, midlife, older gay men, long-term HIV survivorship Dating and intimacy: hookup culture, apps, ghosting, rejection, attachment, finding and keeping a partner Gay men and success: career transitions, burnout, money, retirement, purpose, and building a life that actually feels good Episodes are mostly just me—so you get unfiltered, no-nonsense, therapist-level insight without fluff, plus occasional guests whose expertise or lived experience can help you grow. Every episode is designed to give you practical tools, perspectives, and strategies you can use immediately in your life, not just "interesting conversations." If you're a gay man who wants better mental health, stronger relationships, more satisfying sex, and a more successful, meaningful life, this podcast is for you—whether you're in your 20s, 40s, 60s, or beyond. About the practice behind the podcast Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CST is the podcast of my private practice: Psychotherapy for gay men in California (online) Coaching for gay men worldwide (online) I'm the founder of GayTherapyLA.com and GayCoachingLA.com, based in West Hollywood, California, serving gay men all over the world via webcam and phone. My credentials include: California Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) Certified Psychiatric Social Worker AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Certified in Consensual Non-Monogamy and Polyamorous Families Retired Adjunct Associate Professor in Social Work (USC) Through both psychotherapy (California) and coaching (worldwide), I help gay men improve their mental health, strengthen their relationships, upgrade their sex lives, and maximize their quality of life and career, leveraging their past to enhance their future. While this podcast cannot substitute for personal therapy and is provided for educational purposes only, the episodes reflect the kinds of themes and strategies I work on with clients every day. Your questions, comments, ratings, and reviews are very welcome, as are suggestions for future episodes. © 2025 Ken Howard, LCSW, CST. All rights reserved.

  1. Jun 1

    Why Can't I Stay Hard Anymore? A Gay Man's Guide to Erectile Dysfunction

    Why can't I stay hard anymore? Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores the real causes of erectile dysfunction in gay men—and what actually helps beyond pills, panic, and self-criticism.

    25 min

  2. May 18

    Why Successful Gay Male Professionals Still Feel Off — And What Actually Changes It

    Many successful gay male professionals reach a point where something doesn't quite add up. Your career works. You're capable, driven, and functioning at a high level. And yet, something still feels off—especially in relationships, connection, or your sense of ease outside of work. In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores why this happens—and why insight alone isn't enough to change it. He breaks down: the hidden "second layer" of stress many gay men carry in professional environments how career demands shape emotional patterns, relationships, and identity why high-functioning men can stay stuck despite strong self-awareness and what actually creates meaningful, lasting change This is not about burnout or failure. It's about understanding why success in one area of life doesn't automatically translate into fulfillment in another—and what to do differently if you want that to change.

    50 min

  3. May 12

    Beyond Insight (Part 2): What Gay Men Can Do to Finally Create Real Change

    In Part 1 of this series, we explored why insight alone isn't enough to create real change in gay men's lives — even for those who are highly self-aware, emotionally intelligent, and deeply reflective. So what actually does work? In Part 2, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, moves beyond theory and into real-world application. This episode focuses on the practical side of personal growth: how to translate insight into concrete, repeatable behaviors that lead to meaningful change. Instead of trying to "fix everything," Ken introduces a more realistic and effective approach — replacing old patterns with small, intentional actions that build over time. This episode explores: Why change requires replacement, not just awareness How to interrupt emotional and behavioral loops in real time The role of structure, delay, and intentional choice in breaking compulsive patterns Why "partial wins" matter more than perfection How to reduce isolation through small, manageable social actions The difference between motivation and movement How self-respect is built through behavior, not just mindset Ken also walks through specific, real-life examples of how to replace common patterns, including: compulsive app use → meaningful connection urgency and impulsivity → structure and delay emotional numbing → purposeful action self-criticism → self-respect through follow-through isolation → low-pressure social engagement If you've ever felt like you know what's going on in your life — but still struggle to change it — this episode offers a clear and grounded path forward. Because at a certain point, growth isn't about understanding more. It's about living differently.

    27 min

  4. May 7

    Beyond Insight (Part 1): Why Gay Men Stay Stuck Even After Therapy and Self-Help

    Many gay men already understand themselves surprisingly well. They've read the books, listened to the podcasts, explored their childhood patterns, and can explain their shame, anxiety, trauma, or relationship struggles in detail. So why do so many still feel stuck? In Part 1 of this two-part series, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores one of the biggest limitations of insight-based personal growth: understanding yourself does not automatically change your life. Drawing from more than 34 years of work with gay men, Ken explains why insight alone often turns into rumination instead of transformation — and why lasting change requires behavioral shifts, emotional regulation, structure, repetition, and real-world action. This episode explores: Why books like The Velvet Rage and The Body Keeps the Score are helpful — but incomplete on their own The repeating emotional-behavioral loops many gay men experience Why shame and trauma frameworks can unintentionally keep people stuck The difference between awareness and behavioral change How gay men can begin replacing compulsive or self-defeating patterns with healthier alternatives Why "partial wins" matter more than perfection How therapy and coaching can help translate insight into real-life change Ken also offers practical examples of replacement behaviors for: compulsive app use emotional numbing self-criticism isolation urgency and impulsivity all-or-nothing thinking If you've ever thought: "I understand why I do this… but I still keep doing it," this episode is for you. Part 2 will continue the conversation by exploring additional behavioral replacements and strategies for handling the everyday stressors many gay men face.

    23 min

  5. Apr 16

    Gay Men and How to Build Real Friendships in Adulthood

    Why does it feel so hard to build real friendships as a gay man in adulthood? You meet people. You have good conversations. There's even mutual interest. But somehow, nothing turns into something consistent or meaningful. In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explains why this isn't about a lack of effort—it's about a lack of structure. He breaks down: why modern gay social life often prevents friendships from forming the subtle patterns that stop connections from developing and what actually creates real, lasting friendships over time This is a practical, grounded look at how connection really works—and what to do differently if you want your social life to feel more stable, consistent, and real. Work with Ken: https://gaytherapyla.com/individual-therapy-and-counseling-gay-men/ https://gaytherapyla.com/services-offered/gay-men-online-counseling-coaching/

    14 min

  6. Apr 11

    When a Gay Man's Career Feels at Risk: False Accusations & Workplace Anxiety

    What happens when a routine workplace situation suddenly turns into a formal concern—or worse, an accusation? Many successful gay men are finding themselves navigating high-stakes anxiety around reputation, HR processes, and professional risk. In this episode, Ken Howard explores the psychological impact of these situations and how to stay grounded, think clearly, and respond strategically under pressure.

    33 min

  7. Apr 7

    Gay Couples in Business Together: Power, Competition, and the Hidden Cost to Intimacy

    What happens when gay couples mix love and business? Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, examines how gay men sharing a business can intensify power struggles, communication issues, and sexual disconnection.

    28 min

  8. Mar 31

    Why So Many Gay Men Lose Their Drive in Midlife (No One Talks About This)

    Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores why many gay men experience a shift in ambition after 40—and why it's not burnout, but a natural developmental transition. He explains what's changing psychologically and how to navigate this stage with clarity and purpose.

    32 min
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4.6
out of 5
130 Ratings

About

Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CST A gay men's mental health, sex, and relationships podcast If you've ever wished there were a therapy-informed podcast just for gay men, you're in the right place. I'm Ken Howard, LCSW, CST – a gay men's specialist psychotherapist, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, Certified Psychiatric Social Worker, longtime LGBTQ+ advocate, and gay men's life/career/relationship coach with over 32 years' experience working almost exclusively with gay male individuals, couples, and polycules. On Gay Therapy LA, you'll get more than clichés or recycled pop psychology. This is a deep-dive podcast for gay men's mental health, sex, and relationships—rooted in real clinical experience with thousands of clients over three decades. We talk about what actually shows up in gay men's lives: Mental health for gay men: anxiety, depression, trauma, shame, internalized homophobia Gay men's relationships: monogamy, open relationships, consensual non-monogamy, polycules, jealousy, trust, communication Sex therapy for gay men: desire, performance, erections, ejaculation, kink, porn, HIV, PrEP, sexual confidence Gay men and aging: body image, muscles, appearance pressure, midlife, older gay men, long-term HIV survivorship Dating and intimacy: hookup culture, apps, ghosting, rejection, attachment, finding and keeping a partner Gay men and success: career transitions, burnout, money, retirement, purpose, and building a life that actually feels good Episodes are mostly just me—so you get unfiltered, no-nonsense, therapist-level insight without fluff, plus occasional guests whose expertise or lived experience can help you grow. Every episode is designed to give you practical tools, perspectives, and strategies you can use immediately in your life, not just "interesting conversations." If you're a gay man who wants better mental health, stronger relationships, more satisfying sex, and a more successful, meaningful life, this podcast is for you—whether you're in your 20s, 40s, 60s, or beyond. About the practice behind the podcast Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CST is the podcast of my private practice: Psychotherapy for gay men in California (online) Coaching for gay men worldwide (online) I'm the founder of GayTherapyLA.com and GayCoachingLA.com, based in West Hollywood, California, serving gay men all over the world via webcam and phone. My credentials include: California Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) Certified Psychiatric Social Worker AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Certified in Consensual Non-Monogamy and Polyamorous Families Retired Adjunct Associate Professor in Social Work (USC) Through both psychotherapy (California) and coaching (worldwide), I help gay men improve their mental health, strengthen their relationships, upgrade their sex lives, and maximize their quality of life and career, leveraging their past to enhance their future. While this podcast cannot substitute for personal therapy and is provided for educational purposes only, the episodes reflect the kinds of themes and strategies I work on with clients every day. Your questions, comments, ratings, and reviews are very welcome, as are suggestions for future episodes. © 2025 Ken Howard, LCSW, CST. All rights reserved.

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