Intentional Living with Tanya Hale

Tanya Hale: Certified Life Coach

Midlife brings profound shifts—and often, complex relationship challenges. Whether you're navigating the emotional turmoil of divorce, struggling in your marriage, or facing tension in your relationships with adult children, you are not alone. If you're considering divorce, in the midst of separation, or working to rebuild your life after divorce, this is the place for you. We also explore what it means to navigate a struggling marriage and find connection again after years of unintentional neglect. We also address one of the most painful—and rarely discussed—relationship challenges: managing strain with adult children while learning to let go, respect their autonomy, and honor their agency. I'm Tanya Hale, an LDS midlife relationship coach dedicated to helping you move from conflict toward clarity and connection. On Intentional Living with Tanya Hale, we explore the "how" and "why" behind your most difficult relationships. I offer practical, actionable tools to help you do the work—not only on the relationship, but also on yourself. In this space, we focus on: - Difficult Marriage and Divorce Coaching: Navigating midlife transitions, from healing broken trust to moving through the divorce process with greater clarity and grace. - Relationships with Adult Children: Setting healthy boundaries while fostering deeper, more respectful connections. - Rediscovering Your Sense of Self: Learning about and loving yourself and reclaiming your identity beyond your roles as a spouse or parent. The work is challenging, but it is Work worth doing. If you're a Latter-day Saint and ready to address your most difficult midlife relationships and move toward happier, more connected relationships, join me. Let's create an intentional life together.

  1. 2d ago

    #435 Fair – Another Four-Letter F-Word

    When we get stuck in the defensive cycle of judging what is fair and not fair in our relationships, we create destruction. Life has never been fair and it never will be. What if that's okay? What if how we show up in our relationships has nothing to do with how the other person shows up? What if our peace has nothing to do with whether they are carrying the weight we think they should carry? When we step into this place of focusing on our behavior rather than judging theirs, we feel empowered and we create peace, and then from that place we can create the life we want. Letting go of 'fair' and leaning into accepting our spouse for who they are and how they want to be is the first step to clarity and peace. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #26 Taking Offense on Apple on Spotify #91 Personal Responsibility on Apple on Spotify #92 Clean Love on Apple on Spotify  #93 Finding Fulfillment on Apple on Spotify #125 Love It Before You Leave It on Apple on Spotify #139 Being a Martyr on Apple on Spotify #140 Still Being a Martyr on Apple on Spotify #148 Grace & Grudges in Our Relationships on Apple on Spotify #152 Victim or Hero? on Apple on Spotify #153 The Manual on Apple on Spotify #167 I Didn't Sign Up For This on Apple on Spotify #172 Peace Misunderstood on Apple on Spotify #223 It Really Is All About You on Apple on Spotify #225 Shame, Blame, and Disempowerment on Apple on Spotify #251 Contention is a Choice on Apple on Spotify #269 Fine - The 4-Letter F-Word on Apple on Spotify #272 Stay In Your Lane on Apple on Spotify #290 Resentment and Contempt in Our Relationships on Apple on Spotify #304 Personalities, Preferences, and Perspectives on Apple on Spotify #365 Villains, Victims, and Heroes on Apple on Spotify #384 Relational Living on Apple on Spotify Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Interested in one-on-one coaching and a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

    #435 Fair – Another Four-Letter F-Word
  2. Oct 26

    #434 Closing the Loop

    Learning to show up as equals in our relationships can be a challenge for middle-aged women because it often goes so against our social conditioning growing up. But when we take on the responsibility to stand up and speak up, to be seen and heard, we start changing the dynamic in our relationships. And when we learn to do this in the context of helping others see and understand the impact that their choices have on us, rather than just dealing with it, or pretending it's okay or fine, we begin the empowering journey of showing up as an equal. This is when we can really start to create the deeply intimate, emotionally connected relationships we desire. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #78 Playing Small  on Apple  on Spotify #91 Personal Responsibility on Apple on Spotify #92 Clean Love on Apple on Spotify #193 No Back-Burner Issues on Apple on Spotify #215 Being Seen and Being Heard on Apple on Spotify #216 One Up and One Down Relationships on Apple on Spotify #239 How to Own Your Own on Apple on Spotify #242 Circling Back Around on Apple on Spotify #243 Having More Honest Communication on Apple on Spotify #250 Being a Victim on Apple on Spotify #258 Communication That Connects on Apple on Spotify #268 Drama Response on Apple on Spotify #269 Fine - The 4-Letter F-Word on Apple on Spotify #272 Stay In Your Lane on Apple on Spotify #279 When You're Not Equally Yoked on Apple on Spotify #287 Equality in Your Relationships and Your Self-Worth on Apple on Spotify #288 When You're in a Tough Marriage on Apple on Spotify #309 What an Equal Relationship Looks Like on Apple on Spotify #386 Overcoming Resentment on Apple on Spotify #395 You Can't Make Them Love You on Apple on Spotify Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Interested in one-on-one coaching and a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

    #434 Closing the Loop
  3. Oct 19

    #433 The Agency to Not Forgive

    Sometimes, even when we have apologized, even when we've changed our behavior and truly repented and cleaned up our love, the other person will not forgive us. And that's hard. And that's their agency. We have no idea what their journey entails, why this is such a struggle for them, what has happened in their life to make forgiving us difficult for them, and that's okay. It's not ours to understand. What is ours is learning how to love cleanly and without expectation and to honor their agency to work through this in their way and in their time. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #33 Forgiving Yourself on Apple on Spotify #49 Fixing Yourself on Apple on Spotify #63 Rejection and Approval on Apple on Spotify #77 Other People's Opinions on Apple on Spotify #92 Clean Love on Apple on Spotify #94 The Right Path on Apple on Spotify #99 Parenting Adult Children on Apple on Spotify #165 I Would Never Act That Way on Apple on Spotify #174 Better Boundaries on Apple on Spotify #202 Pain, Peace, and Parenting Disengaged Adult Children on Apple on Spotify #203 Cleaning Up Your Apology on Apple on Spotify #217 Self-Respect and Being Wrong on Apple on Spotify #231 Other People's Opinions on Apple on Spotify #237 You'll Never Be Enough For Your Children on Apple on Spotify #242 Circling Back Around on Apple on Spotify #257 Other People's Agency on Apple on Spotify #299 Love Is Not a Reward on Apple on Spotify #351 Grace, Shame, and Letting Yourself Off the Hook on Apple on Spotify #385 Self-Forgiveness on Apple on Spotify #390 You Can't Fill Their Bucket on Apple on Spotify Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Interested in one-on-one coaching and a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

    #433 The Agency to Not Forgive
  4. Oct 12

    #432 The Struggle to Love

    So many of us struggle to love, but we don't recognize it because we are so focused on our spouse's struggle to love us. We are judging and blaming and accusing them for showing up poorly, when in reality, we are a hot mess of dysfunctional behaviors as well. When we can courage up and take a good, hard look at our own struggle to love, we can begin to create a beautiful space of clean love within ourselves and an ability to accept and appreciate our spouse in ways that were not available to us before. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #29 Validation on Apple on Spotify #92 Clean Love on Apple on Spotify #118 100% Responsibility  on Apple  on Spotify #125 Love It Before You Leave It on Apple on Spotify #148 Grace & Grudges in Our Relationships on Apple on Spotify #189 Patterns of Behavior on Apple on Spotify #191 Why We Seek to Control Others on Apple on Spotify #212 Healing Your Disconnected Relationships on Apple on Spotify #216 One Up and One Down Relationships on Apple on Spotify #223 It Really Is All About You on Apple on Spotify #239 How to Own Your Own on Apple on Spotify #242 Circling Back Around on Apple on Spotify #272 Stay In Your Lane on Apple on Spotify #277 Your Spouse Is Not Your Responsibility on Apple on Spotify #288 When You're in a Tough Marriage on Apple on Spotify #289 Why Our Relationships Needs Validation on Apple on Spotify #290 Resentment and Contempt in Our Relationships on Apple on Spotify #298 Friendship in Marriage on Apple on Spotify #299 Love Is Not a Reward on Apple on Spotify #321 Clean Love and Relationships on Apple on Spotify #331 Sense of Self on Apple on Spotify #332 Sense of Self – It's All In Your Head on Apple on Spotify #334 Sense of Self and Marriage on Apple on Spotify #392 Vulnerability and Validation on Apple on Spotify #395 You Can't Make Them Love You on Apple on Spotify   Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Interested in one-on-one coaching and a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

    #432 The Struggle to Love
  5. Oct 5

    #431 Intrusive Love

    Love is one of the greatest gifts we have to offer the world and ourselves. Sometimes, though, we start straying into other people's lanes in intrusive ways. We start behaving in ways that overstep our boundaries and dismiss their wants and needs. It's all done from the best of intentions, a desire to help them succeed, to be happy, to not struggle, but it is intruding on their agency to make their own choices and mistakes and live their own life. Learning to clean up our love and honor their agency will help both them and us to live with less resentment and contention, and really love well. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #38 Love is Minding Your Own Business on Apple on Spotify #60 Mental and Emotional Abusive Behaviors on Apple on Spotify #61 Charity is the Antidote on Apple on Spotify #92 Clean Love on Apple on Spotify #99 Parenting Adult Children on Apple on Spotify #129 Parenting Discomfort on Apple on Spotify #149 The Importance of Discomfort  on Apple  on Spotify #157 Friend-Zoning Your Adult Children on Apple on Spotify #180 Better Relationships With Our Adult Children on Apple on Spotify #202 Pain, Peace, and Parenting Disengaged Adult Children on Apple on Spotify #214 How to Stop Being 'The Fixer' on Apple on Spotify #227 Feeling Obligated on Apple on Spotify #236 None of Your Business on Apple on Spotify #272 Stay In Your Lane on Apple on Spotify #277 Your Spouse Is Not Your Responsibility on Apple on Spotify #304 Personalities, Preferences, and Perspectives on Apple on Spotify #314 When Setting Boundaries Is Hard on Apple on Spotify #318 The Challenge of Parenting Adult Children on Apple on Spotify #368 Stay Out of Other People's Relationships on Apple on Spotify #390 You Can't Fill Their Bucket on Apple on Spotify #395 You Can't Make Them Love You on Apple on Spotify #410: What Staying in Your Own Lane Looks Like on Apple on Spotify #411: When Staying in Your Own Lane Isn't Getting You What You Want on Apple on Spotify Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Interested in one-on-one coaching and a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

    #431 Intrusive Love
  6. Sep 28

    #430 Ten Things I Wish I'd Known in My Previous Marriage

    Feeling unseen or unsure of your worth in a struggling marriage can be lonely and multiply the challenges you are experiencing. In this episode I share some lessons that, upon reflection, I think are some of the most important for either cleaning up your current marriage or moving on after a divorce. This is a great podcast for you want some guidance, and hope while navigating a difficult relationship. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #11 I Am Enough on Apple on Spotify #34 Self-Compassion on Apple on Spotify #78 Playing Small  on Apple  on Spotify #103 The Case For Curiosity on Apple on Spotify #118 100% Responsibility  on Apple  on Spotify #125 Love It Before You Leave It on Apple on Spotify #137 Not Enough? Not True on Apple on Spotify #174 Better Boundaries on Apple on Spotify #197 Connecting Through Conflict on Apple on Spotify #215 Being Seen and Being Heard on Apple on Spotify #220 Being Low Maintenance on Apple on Spotify #224 Compassion and Curiosity on Apple on Spotify #257 Other People's Agency on Apple on Spotify #268 Drama Response on Apple on Spotify #277 Your Spouse Is Not Your Responsibility on Apple on Spotify #290 Resentment and Contempt in Our Relationships on Apple on Spotify #307 Curiosity, Not Criticism on Apple on Spotify #331 Sense of Self on Apple on Spotify #332 Sense of Self – It's All In Your Head on Apple on Spotify #357 How to Be More Understanding on Apple on Spotify #381 Psychological Boundaries on Apple on Spotify #390 You Can't Fill Their Bucket on Apple on Spotify   Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Interested in one-on-one coaching and a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

    #430 Ten Things I Wish I'd Known in My Previous Marriage
  7. Sep 21

    #429 Emotionally Mature Conflict

    Because we're all humans who see the world from our unique perspective, it is inevitable that we will experience conflict in all of our relationships. As we increase our emotional maturity we are able to lean into these conflicts to create connection rather than contention. But what does it look and sound like? That's what we're talking about on this podcast. I have lots of examples for you to understand where you are in your journey to stronger emotional maturity, and be sure to check out the show notes below for more podcasts that will grow your capacity and skills for having more emotionally mature conflict. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #3 Resolving Conflict on Apple on Spotify #5 Learning to Listen on Apple on Spotify #20 Blame and Responsibility on Apple on Spotify #77 Other People's Opinions on Apple on Spotify #110 The Cost of Being Right on Apple on Spotify #117 Anti-Responsibility on Apple on Spotify #118 100% Responsibility  on Apple  on Spotify #147 Hijacked By Your Emotions on Apple on Spotify #148 Grace & Grudges in Our Relationships on Apple on Spotify #156 The Benefits of Being Wrong on Apple on Spotify #164 How Being in Control is Destroying Your Life on Apple on Spotify #165 I Would Never Act That Way on Apple on Spotify #166 Imaginary Friends on Apple on Spotify #167 I Didn't Sign Up For This on Apple on Spotify #193 No Back-Burner Issues on Apple on Spotify #194 When You Feel Sad, Or Bad, or Mad on Apple on Spotify #196 How to Break the Blame/Defense Cycle on Apple on Spotify #197 Connecting Through Conflict on Apple on Spotify #216 One Up and One Down Relationships on Apple on Spotify #239 How to Own Your Own on Apple on Spotify #242 Circling Back Around on Apple on Spotify #243 Having More Honest Communication on Apple on Spotify #244 The Relationship Circle on Apple on Spotify #245 Transactional Relationships on Apple on Spotify #251 Contention is a Choice on Apple on Spotify #258 Communication That Connects on Apple on Spotify #272 Stay In Your Lane on Apple on Spotify #286 How Miscommunication Destroys Relationships on Apple on Spotify #288 When You're in a Tough Marriage on Apple on Spotify #289 Why Our Relationships Needs Validation on Apple on Spotify #290 Resentment and Contempt in Our Relationships on Apple on Spotify #297 Why Can't We Just All Get Along on Apple on Spotify #298 Friendship in Marriage on Apple on Spotify #304 Personalities, Preferences, and Perspectives on Apple on Spotify #307 Curiosity, Not Criticism on Apple on Spotify #319 Get Ready to Rock The Boat on Apple on Spotify #331 Sense of Self on Apple on Spotify #332 Sense of Self – It's All In Your Head on Apple on Spotify #346 How to Stop Reacting and Start Responding on Apple on Spotify #357 How to Be More Understanding on Apple on Spotify #369 Normal, Difficult, Human Interactions on Apple on Spotify #370 Conscious Conflict on Apple on Spotify #386 Overcoming Resentment on Apple on Spotify #392 Vulnerability and Validation on Apple on Spotify #404: People Over Problems and Processes on Apple on Spotify #405: How to Create a Partnership on Apple on Spotify #408: When You Get Triggered on Apple on Spotify Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Interested in one-on-one coaching and a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

    #429 Emotionally Mature Conflict
  8. Sep 14

    #428 Amazing Grace

    I believe grace is one of the most Christlike ways that we can be loving. When we better understand Christ's Grace for us, when we can accept that Grace into our own lives, and when we can then extend this Grace to others, everything seems to change. We feel more peace and compassion, we develop a stronger sense of self, and we feel more deeply connected to Divinity, ourselves, and others. We can never go wrong with Grace. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #26 Taking Offense on Apple on Spotify #33 Forgiving Yourself on Apple on Spotify #39 Guilt & Shame on Apple on Spotify #46 Choosing to Love Yourself on Apple on Spotify #55 Don't Should Yourself on Apple on Spotify #104 Cultivating Self-Love on Apple on Spotify #105 Self-Love in Our Past, Present, and Future on Apple on Spotify #106 Fierce Self-Love on Apple on Spotify #148 Grace & Grudges in Our Relationships on Apple on Spotify #155 How to Forgive Anyone on Apple on Spotify #165 I Would Never Act That Way on Apple on Spotify #166 Imaginary Friends on Apple on Spotify #219 The Truth About The Struggle on Apple on Spotify #234 Forgiveness and Compassion on Apple on Spotify #235 The Beautiful Mess on Apple on Spotify #272 Stay In Your Lane on Apple on Spotify #274 When We Behave Badly on Apple on Spotify #297 Why Can't We Just All Get Along on Apple on Spotify #304 Personalities, Preferences, and Perspectives on Apple on Spotify #351 Grace, Shame, and Letting Yourself Off the Hook on Apple on Spotify #357 How to Be More Understanding on Apple on Spotify #385 Self-Forgiveness on Apple on Spotify #389 The Partnership of Marriage on Apple on Spotify #401: Judgement and Grace on Apple on Spotify Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Interested in one-on-one coaching and a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

    #428 Amazing Grace
4.8
out of 5
126 Ratings

About

Midlife brings profound shifts—and often, complex relationship challenges. Whether you're navigating the emotional turmoil of divorce, struggling in your marriage, or facing tension in your relationships with adult children, you are not alone. If you're considering divorce, in the midst of separation, or working to rebuild your life after divorce, this is the place for you. We also explore what it means to navigate a struggling marriage and find connection again after years of unintentional neglect. We also address one of the most painful—and rarely discussed—relationship challenges: managing strain with adult children while learning to let go, respect their autonomy, and honor their agency. I'm Tanya Hale, an LDS midlife relationship coach dedicated to helping you move from conflict toward clarity and connection. On Intentional Living with Tanya Hale, we explore the "how" and "why" behind your most difficult relationships. I offer practical, actionable tools to help you do the work—not only on the relationship, but also on yourself. In this space, we focus on: - Difficult Marriage and Divorce Coaching: Navigating midlife transitions, from healing broken trust to moving through the divorce process with greater clarity and grace. - Relationships with Adult Children: Setting healthy boundaries while fostering deeper, more respectful connections. - Rediscovering Your Sense of Self: Learning about and loving yourself and reclaiming your identity beyond your roles as a spouse or parent. The work is challenging, but it is Work worth doing. If you're a Latter-day Saint and ready to address your most difficult midlife relationships and move toward happier, more connected relationships, join me. Let's create an intentional life together.

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