Episode Description "Sometimes caregiving means loving someone through changes neither of you were prepared for." In Part 1 of The Caregiver No One Sees on Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, sits down with Joanna—a wife, mom of two young children, former teacher, and primary caregiver for her mother, who is living with Alzheimer's. And this conversation gets real fast. Because caregiving is not just appointments, medications, paperwork, meals, and making sure everyone is safe. It is watching someone you love change. It is becoming responsible for the person who once took care of you. It is trying to raise your own children while also caring for a parent. And sometimes, it is being thrown right back into childhood while standing there as a full-grown adult. Sharon and Joanna talk openly about what it is like to care for mothers who were strong, independent, complicated women before memory loss entered the picture. They discuss the emotions nobody wants caregivers to admit out loud—the frustration, exhaustion, anger, guilt, resentment, fear, and love that can somehow exist at the exact same time. Because telling the truth about your relationship does not mean you did not love your person. It means you are being honest about what you are grieving. Joanna shares what caregiving actually looks like in her everyday life: raising two young children, managing her mother's medications and finances, helping with hygiene and household care, coordinating caregivers, and constantly trying to figure out what absolutely has to be done today…and what can wait until tomorrow. They also talk about one of the hardest parts of memory loss: understanding what is the disease, what is an old behavior pattern, and how to respond when the two begin to blur together. This episode is a conversation for the caregiver who is exhausted. The caregiver who feels guilty for being frustrated. The caregiver who loves their person deeply but sometimes does not know how much more they can carry. And the caregiver who desperately needs someone to say: You need care, too. Because if the caregiver goes down, everybody feels it. What You'll Learn in This Episode What caregiving for a parent with memory loss really looks like behind closed doors Why caring for a parent can bring childhood emotions and experiences back to the surface The importance of telling the truth about complicated parent-child relationships Why Alzheimer's and other forms of memory loss can cause confusion, paranoia, delusions, and confabulation How old behavior patterns and memory loss can become difficult to separate Why caregiver burnout can happen so quickly The importance of getting legal and financial affairs organized while your loved one can still participate Why caregivers need their own support system How therapy, support groups, movement, and community can help caregivers cope Why asking "What actually has to be done today?" can reduce overwhelm How siblings and family members can divide responsibilities instead of leaving one person to carry everything Questions to Sit With After Listening What parts of caregiving am I afraid to admit are hard? Am I expecting myself to do everything at once? What emotions from my own childhood are being brought back up in this season? Do I have people I can tell the truth to without being judged? What is something I keep telling myself has to be done today…that could actually wait? Homework for You Take out a piece of paper and make two columns. At the top of one, write: "What has to happen today?" At the top of the other, write: "What can wait?" Then be honest. Not everything is an emergency. Not everything has to be handled right now. And running yourself into the ground does not make you a better caregiver. Give yourself permission to put something down. Even if it is only until tomorrow. Connect With Joanna Joanna shares her own caregiving journey along with resources, education, and honest conversations for other caregivers navigating memory loss. 👉 Find her on TikTok: The Sleepy Goddess / Sleepy Goddess 414 She also hosts conversations with other caregivers and professionals and shares resources she discovers along the way. Resources + Next Steps 👉 Listen to more episodes of Grieve That Sh!t 👉 Join The Story Room 👉 Learn more at: griefdiscovery.com 👉 And make sure you come back for Part 2, where Sharon and Joanna go deeper into the grief of loving and grieving someone who is still here. Because caregiving is love. But love does not erase exhaustion. And you should not have to disappear while taking care of someone else.