Grieve That Sh!t

Sharon Brubaker and Erica Honore
  • 4.8 (32)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

Grieve That Shit isn't here to comfort you with clichés or tidy slogans about "better places." This podcast digs straight into the wreckage of loss—the nights you can't breathe, the mornings you can't move, and the ache that takes over your whole body. Hosted by grief specialist Sharon Brubaker, it's an unfiltered look at what grief actually does to you and how to face it head-on. Sharon brings her own story, real conversations, and practical tools that cut through the noise. If you're done with people minimizing your pain and you want the truth about grief, this is it. Grieve That Shit is where the rawness lives—and where real healing begins.

  1. 2d ago

    The Grief of Losing a Child with Taneshia Part 2

    Episode Description "What if grief was never supposed to fit into five neat stages?" In Part 2 of The Grief of Losing a Child, Sharon continues her conversation with Taneshia Carey, licensed professional counselor and certified grief counselor specialist. This time, they get into what we've gotten wrong about grief, why the five stages were never designed as a roadmap for grieving the death of someone you love, and why trying to make grief linear can leave people wondering why they're still struggling. They also talk about finding the right support, the things people say with good intentions that can hurt, comparing grief, and why sometimes grief hits years later when life finally becomes quiet enough for you to feel it. What You'll Learn in This Episode • Why grief does not happen in five neat, predictable stages • Why grief needs to be supported, not "fixed" • What to do when your therapist doesn't understand grief • What grieving people may actually need instead of advice • Why grief can hit hard months or even years later • Why comparing one person's grief to another doesn't help us heal • What needs to change about bereavement support in the workplace Questions to Sit With After Listening • Am I expecting my grief to follow a timeline? • Have I been judging myself for still grieving? • Do I have people who can sit beside my grief without trying to fix it? • Have I been comparing my grief to someone else's? • What kind of support do I actually need right now? Homework for You Ask yourself: "What would change if I stopped trying to grieve the 'right' way?" Write down the rules you've been carrying about grief. How long you think it should last. What you think you should be feeling. Where you think you should be by now. Then get curious about where those expectations came from. Grief is messy. It is individual. And you do not have to force your experience into somebody else's timeline. Resources + Next Steps • Listen to Part 1: The Grief of Losing a Child with Taneshia Carey • Learn more about Taneshia at holisticcounselingacademy.com • Connect with Holistic Counseling Academy • Listen to more episodes of Grieve That Sh!t • Join The Story Room • Book an appointment with Sharon: griefdiscovery.com

  2. 2d ago

    The Grief of Losing a Child with Taneshia Part 1

    Episode Description What happens when losing your child changes not only your life, but who you are? In Part 1 of this Grieve That Sh!t conversation, Sharon sits down with Taneshia Carey, whose grief journey began in 2013 when her firstborn son, Lhwhyh, died at eight years old after an asthma attack. Taneshia shares what it was like to suddenly become a grieving mother while still raising three young children, searching for support when she could barely find it, and eventually learning how to carry grief differently without leaving her son behind. What You'll Learn in This Episode • How grief can affect you physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually • How losing a child can change your identity as a mother • Why fear of another loss can become part of your grief • What it looks like to parent surviving children while grieving yourself • Why lived experience and professional grief training are two very different things • How support can help when grief feels too heavy to carry alone • Why staying connected to your person can be part of living after loss • How saying their name, sharing their stories, photographs, music, and family traditions can keep that connection present Questions to Sit With After Listening • How has grief changed the way I see myself? • What fears showed up after my person died? • Who has been part of my support system? • What does staying connected to my person look like for me? • Am I allowing myself to grieve in my own way, or am I judging how my grief "should" look? Homework for You Ask yourself: "How do I want to stay connected to my person?" Maybe it's saying their name. Maybe it's telling their stories, looking at photographs, listening to their music, honoring important dates, or creating a tradition that keeps them part of your life. There is no one right way to do this. Taneshia shares how she continues to say Lhwhyh's name, share his story, honor special dates, and keep his memory present within their family. Choose one way you want to continue that connection and write it down. Resources + Next Steps • Continue to Part 2 of Sharon's conversation with Taneshia Carey • Listen to more episodes of Grieve That Sh!t • Join The Story Room • Book an appointment with Sharon: griefdiscovery.com Your person died. Your relationship with them changed. But that does not mean your connection to them has to disappear.

  3. Sep 4

    The Grief No One Sees

    Episode Description "There is a whole part of grief that nobody sees." People know your person died. They may know the story, the date, and what happened. But they don't see the grief that follows you into the grocery store, your bedroom, your car, or the middle of the night. They don't see the empty chair, the phone call you almost make, or the moment you remember all over again that your person is gone. In this episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon talks about the grief no one sees. Because losing your person isn't only about missing them. You may also be grieving the future you expected, the safety you once felt, the decisions you used to make together, your identity, and even the person you were before they died. Sometimes all you know how to say is, "I miss them." But underneath those words may be an entire life you're grieving. What You'll Learn • What may be hiding underneath "I miss them" • How grief can change your identity, confidence, and sense of safety • Why moving forward can feel like leaving your person behind • How to begin naming the grief no one else sees Questions to Sit With • What are you grieving that nobody else sees? • What else did you lose when your person died? • What future are you grieving? • What parts of yourself changed after the loss? • What decisions feel harder without your person? • What are you afraid moving forward might mean? • Do you miss who you were when they were alive? • Who are you now? Homework for You Finish this sentence: "When I say I miss my person, what I'm also trying to say is…" Give yourself permission to name what's underneath the loss. Resources + Next Steps 🤍 YOUR PERSON DIED. NOW WHAT? 📅 Thursday, September 17 🕖 7 PM Eastern Time / 6 PM Central Time Join Sharon for a live conversation about what you're really grieving underneath the loss of your person. 👉 Register at griefdiscovery.com Your grief deserves to be seen.

  4. Aug 21

    Why Waiting to Feel Better Is Keeping You Stuck | Part 3

    Episode Description "What if feeling better isn't what comes first?" In Part 3 of this five-part Grieve That Sh!t series, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, talks about something so many grievers find themselves doing: Waiting to feel better before they start living again. When I feel better, I'll go out. When I feel better, I'll travel. When I feel better, I'll clean out the room. When I feel better, I'll make plans. When I feel better, I'll start taking care of myself again. It makes sense. When you're already hurting, why would you willingly do something that might make you uncomfortable? But what if feeling better doesn't come first? What if some of the things you're waiting to feel ready for are actually part of how you begin to feel alive again? In this episode, Sharon talks about the trap of believing that you have to finish grieving before you're allowed to start living. Because grief doesn't hand you a certificate one morning that says you're done. Sometimes living starts before you feel ready. It might look like saying yes to dinner and crying in the parking lot first. Taking the trip and still feeling sad while you're there. Walking into the room you've been avoiding. Laughing with a friend and then feeling guilty because, for a moment, you were actually having a good time. Healing and living don't have to happen separately. You can still miss your person and begin participating in your life again. Sharon also explores why feeling good after loss can sometimes feel just as uncomfortable as feeling bad. You may start believing that your pain is proof of your love. That laughing means you've forgotten them. That enjoying yourself means you're moving on. That changing something means you're no longer loyal to the person you lost. But your love doesn't need that kind of evidence. You can miss them and laugh. You can love them and travel. You can wish they were here and still enjoy the people who are. You can grieve what you lost and still build something from what remains. What You'll Learn in This Episode Why waiting to "feel better" can keep you stuck Why you don't have to finish grieving before you start living How waiting for readiness can quietly become a way of life Why healing sometimes begins with doing something before you feel ready The difference between courage and feeling completely fearless Why good days, laughter, and joy can trigger guilt after loss How pain can become connected to loyalty and love Why enjoying your life does not mean you've forgotten your person How grief and living can exist at the same time Why one small step can matter more than waiting for the perfect feeling Questions to Sit With After Listening What am I waiting to feel better before I do? Am I waiting to feel ready, or am I waiting for certainty? What have I continued postponing because I'm grieving? Do I feel guilty when I laugh, have fun, or experience a good day? Have I started believing that my pain proves how much I love my person? What could living alongside my grief look like? Homework for You Sharon leaves you with one thing to look at: "What are you waiting to feel ready for?" Name it. Then ask yourself: "What would happen if I took one small step before I was completely ready?" Not the whole thing. Just one step. One dinner. One phone call. One class. One trip. One decision. One afternoon. You don't have to force yourself to be happy. You don't have to pretend the pain is gone. You're simply learning that your feelings don't have to approve every decision you make. Resources + Next Steps Listen to Part 1: Your Person Died. But That Is Not All You Are Grieving Listen to Part 2: Grief Is Making More Decisions Than You Think Continue listening to this five-part Grieve That Sh!t series Join The Story Room Book an appointment with Sharon: griefdiscovery.com Because maybe you don't need to feel ready first. Maybe you just need to decide that you don't want to wait forever. ❤️

  5. Aug 21

    Grief Is Making More Decisions Than You Think | Part 2

    Episode Description "How much of your life is grief deciding right now?" In Part 2 of this Grieve That Sh!t series, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, takes the conversation one step further and asks a question most grievers have probably never considered: Is grief making your decisions for you? Because grief doesn't always look like crying. Sometimes grief looks like staying home. Saying no to invitations. Avoiding the restaurant you used to love together. Refusing to travel because your travel partner is gone. Keeping the house exactly the same. Staying busy taking care of everyone else so you never have to sit quietly with yourself. Or putting off decisions because making them alone feels impossible. In this episode, Sharon explores how choices that once helped us survive can quietly become the way we live. Maybe staying home protected you in the beginning. Maybe avoiding that restaurant kept you from falling apart. Maybe keeping their clothes exactly where they were felt like the only thing you could control. There is nothing wrong with surviving. But at some point, we have to ask: "Is this still protecting me, or is it controlling me?" Sharon talks about the ways grief can influence relationships, friendships, travel, dating, our homes, our confidence, and even simple everyday decisions. Because sometimes you aren't just choosing whether to replace the washing machine. You're confronting the fact that the person who used to help you make that decision is no longer here. Sometimes you aren't simply deciding whether to sell the house. You're wondering if leaving those four walls means leaving your memories behind. And sometimes you aren't saying no because you truly want to. Fear, guilt, and grief already answered for you. This episode is about recognizing where grief has quietly taken over and beginning to participate in your own life again. What You'll Learn in This Episode How grief can influence everyday decisions without you realizing it Why grief doesn't always look like sadness or crying How staying busy can become a way of avoiding grief Why decisions can suddenly feel overwhelming after losing your person How fear and guilt can keep you from relationships, travel, connection, and change The difference between something protecting you and something controlling you Why grief avoidance can slowly become a way of life How to begin trusting yourself to make decisions again Why moving forward does not erase the love you have for your person Questions to Sit With After Listening What have I stopped doing since my person died? What am I avoiding because it feels too painful? Are the choices I made to survive still helping me today? Where has fear or guilt been making decisions for me? If grief wasn't making the decisions, what would I choose? Homework for You Choose one decision in your life that you've been avoiding. It doesn't have to be huge. Then ask yourself: "If grief, guilt, and fear weren't making this decision, what would I choose?" You don't have to act on the answer today. Just let you answer. Because healing isn't about forgetting your person or suddenly changing your entire life. It's about learning that grief deserves a place at the table, but it doesn't get to make every decision for the rest of your life. Resources + Next Steps 👉 Listen to Part 1: Your Person Died, But That's Not All You Lost 👉 Continue listening to this Grieve That Sh!t series 👉 Join The Story Room 👉 Book an appointment with Sharon: griefdiscovery.com Because your grief deserves attention. But so does the life you still have to live. ❤️

  6. Aug 21

    Your Person Died, But That Is Not All You Are Grieving | Part 1

    Episode Description "Your person died, but that is not all you are grieving." In Part 1 of this five-part Grieve That Sh!t series, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, talks about the grief underneath the grief. Because when your person died, you didn't only lose them. You lost the life that existed because they were in it. Maybe you lost the future you thought you would have together. Your routines. Your sense of safety. Your role as a wife, husband, mother, father, daughter, or son. The person who knew your history without needing an explanation. And maybe you lost a version of yourself that you're still trying to find. Grief can change the smallest parts of everyday life. The groceries you buy. The side of the bed you sleep on. The way you spend a Sunday afternoon. The holidays you once loved. The person you call when something happens. Even walking into your own home can feel completely different. And then there's the future. The trips you were supposed to take. The conversations you thought you had years left to have. The graduations, weddings, grandchildren, holidays, traditions, and ordinary days you thought would still include them. That is grief too. In this episode, Sharon asks you to look beyond who you lost and begin naming what you lost when they died. Because everyone may see the death. But they don't always see the loss of identity, safety, confidence, dreams, purpose, relationships, routines, and the future you thought belonged to you. And sometimes, you don't see those losses yet either. What You'll Learn in This Episode Why losing your person is only one part of what you may be grieving How grief can include the loss of your future, identity, roles, routines, and dreams Why ordinary things like groceries, holidays, and quiet Sundays can suddenly hurt How losing someone can change your sense of safety and trust Why you can miss your person and also miss who you were when they were alive Why time alone does not teach you how to live a life you never planned for How naming the grief underneath your loss can help you understand why this has been so hard Questions to Sit With After Listening What else changed when my person died? What future did I believe I was going to have? What part of myself do I miss? What feels less safe now? What am I grieving that nobody else can see? Homework for You Sharon leaves you with one question: "Besides your person, what is one thing that you lost?" Not who did you lose. What did you lose? Your future? Your identity? Your confidence? Your safety? Your social circle? Your dreams? Your purpose? Your role? Your ability to trust yourself? Or maybe the version of you that existed before everything changed? Write down your answer. Tell the truth about it. Because "I'm grieving" can feel enormous. But when you begin naming what is actually underneath that grief, you finally have something you can begin working with. Resources + Next Steps Continue to Part 2: Grief Is Making More Decisions Than You Think Listen to more episodes of Grieve That Sh!t Join The Story Room Book an appointment with Sharon: griefdiscovery.com Because your person died. That is true. But that doesn't mean every part of your life died with them.

  7. Aug 14

    The Caregiver No One Sees with Joanna Part 2

    Episode Description "You don't have to wait until someone dies to start grieving." In Part 2 of The Caregiver No One Sees on Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, continues her conversation with Joanna about a kind of grief that so many caregivers experience but rarely know how to name: grieving someone who is still here. Because for caregivers, grief often begins long before death. It can begin with a diagnosis. With the first forgotten conversation. With a personality change. With realizing the mother you knew is changing right in front of you. And then it happens again…and again…and again. Joanna opens up about grieving the future she imagined for her mother and her children, the heartbreak of watching their relationship change, and what it feels like to miss the person her mother used to be while still caring for the person who is here today. Sharon explains that grief is a normal and natural response to loss of any kind. We can grieve someone living or deceased. We can grieve complicated relationships. We can grieve our past. And we can absolutely grieve the future we thought we were going to have. With memory loss, those losses can come in pieces. A diagnosis. A lost ability. A changed personality. A relationship that no longer feels the same. Another piece. Another adjustment. Another grief. Sharon and Joanna also talk honestly about the guilt and pressure caregivers carry. Some days you have patience. Other days you've heard the same question thirteen times, you're exhausted, the kids need you, and you simply do not have anything left to give. That doesn't make you a bad caregiver. It makes you human. They also explore a loss many people never consider: what happens when caregiving ends. When your entire life has been built around medications, appointments, meals, schedules, and keeping another person safe, losing your loved one can also mean losing the role and routine that structured your entire life. And that is grief, too. But this conversation isn't only about what is disappearing. It's also about what is still here. The moments with the grandchildren. A quiet evening with your spouse. A cup of coffee alone. Yoga. Your favorite meal. A conversation that makes you feel seen. Small moments still count. And sometimes, those small moments are exactly what carry you through. What You'll Learn in This Episode Why caregivers can begin grieving long before their loved one dies What it means to grieve someone who is still physically here Why a diagnosis can create grief for both the present and the future How memory loss can create a series of ongoing losses Why caregivers may grieve different versions of the same person How to give yourself grace when you cannot be the "perfect" caregiver Why caregiving itself can become part of your identity and daily structure What secondary loss can look like after caregiving ends Why small moments of joy and self-care matter How sharing your experience can help you process what you're carrying What Sharon means by "grieving in real time" Why you should say what you need to say while your person is still here Questions to Sit With After Listening Am I grieving someone who is still here? What changes have I experienced that I never allowed myself to call a loss? Am I grieving the person they used to be—or the future I thought we would have together? What parts of myself have I put aside while caring for someone else? What small things still bring me comfort or make me feel like myself? Is there something I want to say to my person while I still have the opportunity? Homework for You Think of the person you are caring for. Now think of one thing you want them to know. Maybe it's: "I love you." "Thank you." "I remember when…" "I'm sorry." "You mattered to me." Or maybe it's a story you've never told them. Don't wait for the perfect moment. Say it. Even if they don't remember it tomorrow. Even if the conversation feels strange. Even if your relationship is complicated. Grieve in real time. Honor what has changed, but don't forget to honor what is still here. Connect With Joanna Joanna shares the honest reality of caregiving while also providing resources, education, and a space where other caregivers can feel seen without judgment. 👉 Find her on TikTok: The Sleepy Goddess She shares her own caregiving experiences, helpful resources, and live conversations with others in the caregiving community. Resources + Next Steps 👉 Listen to Part 1 of The Caregiver No One Sees 👉 Follow Joanna on TikTok: The Sleepy Goddess 👉 Listen to more episodes of Grieve That Sh!t 👉 Join The Story Room 👉 Learn more at: griefdiscovery.com Because you don't have to wait until they're gone to acknowledge what you've already lost. You can love who is here. Miss who they were. Grieve what has changed. And treasure what remains. All at the same time.

  8. Aug 14

    The Caregiver No One Sees with Joanna Part 1

    Episode Description "Sometimes caregiving means loving someone through changes neither of you were prepared for." In Part 1 of The Caregiver No One Sees on Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, sits down with Joanna—a wife, mom of two young children, former teacher, and primary caregiver for her mother, who is living with Alzheimer's. And this conversation gets real fast. Because caregiving is not just appointments, medications, paperwork, meals, and making sure everyone is safe. It is watching someone you love change. It is becoming responsible for the person who once took care of you. It is trying to raise your own children while also caring for a parent. And sometimes, it is being thrown right back into childhood while standing there as a full-grown adult. Sharon and Joanna talk openly about what it is like to care for mothers who were strong, independent, complicated women before memory loss entered the picture. They discuss the emotions nobody wants caregivers to admit out loud—the frustration, exhaustion, anger, guilt, resentment, fear, and love that can somehow exist at the exact same time. Because telling the truth about your relationship does not mean you did not love your person. It means you are being honest about what you are grieving. Joanna shares what caregiving actually looks like in her everyday life: raising two young children, managing her mother's medications and finances, helping with hygiene and household care, coordinating caregivers, and constantly trying to figure out what absolutely has to be done today…and what can wait until tomorrow. They also talk about one of the hardest parts of memory loss: understanding what is the disease, what is an old behavior pattern, and how to respond when the two begin to blur together. This episode is a conversation for the caregiver who is exhausted. The caregiver who feels guilty for being frustrated. The caregiver who loves their person deeply but sometimes does not know how much more they can carry. And the caregiver who desperately needs someone to say: You need care, too. Because if the caregiver goes down, everybody feels it. What You'll Learn in This Episode What caregiving for a parent with memory loss really looks like behind closed doors Why caring for a parent can bring childhood emotions and experiences back to the surface The importance of telling the truth about complicated parent-child relationships Why Alzheimer's and other forms of memory loss can cause confusion, paranoia, delusions, and confabulation How old behavior patterns and memory loss can become difficult to separate Why caregiver burnout can happen so quickly The importance of getting legal and financial affairs organized while your loved one can still participate Why caregivers need their own support system How therapy, support groups, movement, and community can help caregivers cope Why asking "What actually has to be done today?" can reduce overwhelm How siblings and family members can divide responsibilities instead of leaving one person to carry everything Questions to Sit With After Listening What parts of caregiving am I afraid to admit are hard? Am I expecting myself to do everything at once? What emotions from my own childhood are being brought back up in this season? Do I have people I can tell the truth to without being judged? What is something I keep telling myself has to be done today…that could actually wait? Homework for You Take out a piece of paper and make two columns. At the top of one, write: "What has to happen today?" At the top of the other, write: "What can wait?" Then be honest. Not everything is an emergency. Not everything has to be handled right now. And running yourself into the ground does not make you a better caregiver. Give yourself permission to put something down. Even if it is only until tomorrow. Connect With Joanna Joanna shares her own caregiving journey along with resources, education, and honest conversations for other caregivers navigating memory loss. 👉 Find her on TikTok: The Sleepy Goddess / Sleepy Goddess 414 She also hosts conversations with other caregivers and professionals and shares resources she discovers along the way. Resources + Next Steps 👉 Listen to more episodes of Grieve That Sh!t 👉 Join The Story Room 👉 Learn more at: griefdiscovery.com 👉 And make sure you come back for Part 2, where Sharon and Joanna go deeper into the grief of loving and grieving someone who is still here. Because caregiving is love. But love does not erase exhaustion. And you should not have to disappear while taking care of someone else.

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4.8
out of 5
32 Ratings

About

Grieve That Shit isn't here to comfort you with clichés or tidy slogans about "better places." This podcast digs straight into the wreckage of loss—the nights you can't breathe, the mornings you can't move, and the ache that takes over your whole body. Hosted by grief specialist Sharon Brubaker, it's an unfiltered look at what grief actually does to you and how to face it head-on. Sharon brings her own story, real conversations, and practical tools that cut through the noise. If you're done with people minimizing your pain and you want the truth about grief, this is it. Grieve That Shit is where the rawness lives—and where real healing begins.

Information

  • Creator
    Sharon Brubaker and Erica Honore
  • Years Active
    2019 - 2026
  • Episodes
    100
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Show Website
    Grieve That Sh!t

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