The Nacho Kids Podcast: Blended Family Lifesaver

Lori Sims & David Sims
  • 4.8 (270)
  • Parenting
  • Updated Weekly

Stepfamilies and blended families are very challenging. With a failure rate of over 70%, it's clear that blended families need help. Nacho Kids founders and blended family coaches, Lori and David Sims, are here to help blended families save their sanity and relationships. You'll hear the hosts and guests discuss the struggles and successes of blended family life and learn how the Nacho Kids Method is changing lives and saving relationships around the world.

  1. Jul 17

    372: Building Trust & Security in Blended Families | Dr. Marcus

    In this episode, we discuss the complexities of blended families, emphasizing the unique challenges stepfamilies face compared to nuclear families. One concept discussed was the pressure for stepfamilies to function like traditional nuclear families, and how letting go of that expectation can relieve stress and improve dynamics. A key theme that emerged was the importance of the "soothing presence", an adult who is emotionally supportive, predictable, and present for children, which fosters trust and security. The discussion explored how children in high-conflict or blended families often take on roles to try to keep the peace or please their parents, sometimes at the expense of their own development. Several points were raised, including the detrimental effects of parent alienation, the psychological impact of inconsistency and divided loyalty, and how step-parents can best support children without overstepping boundaries. Practical strategies were shared for building relationships, encouraging self-esteem, and communicating effectively with both children and biological parents. The conversation also included personal stories, analogies, and an exploration of how life experiences, even with family pets, mirror blended family dynamics. The episode underscored that every family is different, and the most successful step-parenting comes from adaptability, humility, and providing a safe, nonjudgmental space for children to grow and heal. Key Topics Discussed The unrealistic social and personal expectations for stepfamilies to function like nuclear families The concept of "soothing presence" as the basis for trust, security, and emotional development in children Challenges of divided loyalty and parent alienation in blended family situations The negative long-term impact on kids taking on adult responsibilities within the family dynamic Differences between parenting, adulting, and befriending as a step-parent Importance of emotional predictability and consistency for children's well-being Strategies for step-parents to support children without overstepping or causing tension with biological parents Encouraging self-esteem and emotional language in children using relatable terms (e.g., "volcano mad") The value of building a unique, trusting relationship with each child based on their individual personalities Parallels between stepfamily adjustment and integrating new pets into a household Individualized approaches over generic parenting techniques The lifelong process of gaining wisdom and fostering resilience in children through supportive adult relationships

  2. Jul 10

    371: Double Standards In The Blend

    Lori and David dive into the unique challenges stepparents face in expressing honest feelings, especially compared to what's acceptable for biological parents. They share how phrases like "I need a break from my stepkids" or "sometimes I don't even like my stepkid" can spark criticism, even though similar comments about one's own kids are met with empathy. The conversation highlights double standards, societal expectations, stepfamily resentment, and the reality of blended-family emotions. Lori and David also discuss favoritism among grandkids, the importance of kindness, and how small acts can make a big difference when someone's struggling. In this episode: Update on the upcoming release of the Nacho Kids Book and Companion Workbook Things You Can Say About Your Own Kids But Not Step Kids The Impact of Honesty in Step-Parenting Communities Specific Examples of Double Standards in Parenting Language Perception and Reality of Step-Parenting Criticism Favoritism Among Grandkids and Step-Grandkids Complex Feelings Are Normal in Stepfamilies The Importance of Kindness and Empathy Everyday Acts of Kindness Tune in for honest stories, laughter, and reminders that you're not alone if being a stepparent sometimes feels overwhelming, and that kindness (to yourself and others) is always needed.

  3. Jul 7

    370: Leaving the Stepkids Out

    In this episode of the Nacho Kids Podcast, Lori and David discuss a dilemma from their Facebook group about whether to include a troubled stepchild in a previously planned family cruise. The conversation explores the emotional, financial, and relational complexities of stepfamily vacations. Topics covered include the consequences of excluding the stepchild, potential resentment, whether vacations should be used as rewards or punishments, and the importance of making decisions as a united couple. The hosts suggest possible solutions such as inviting a grandmother to help manage the situation, scaling back vacation plans, or openly discussing what the stepchild actually wants. The episode emphasizes communication, empathy, and long-term considerations in blended family dynamics. Topics Discussed: The dilemma of including or excluding a troubled stepchild from a family vacation Financial implications of adding an additional family member to a planned cruise The impact of excluding a stepchild on family relationships and potential resentment between spouses Bringing a grandparent to balance costs and provide supervision/support Whether family vacations should be used as rewards or punishments for behavior Considering what the stepchild actually wants regarding the vacation Alternatives to the original vacation plan, such as scaling back or taking separate family trips The importance of communicating and making decisions together as a couple Personal stories about managing vacation dynamics with kids and stepkids

  4. Jun 26

    369: From Tragedy to Togetherness: Donna Kendrick's Story of Blended Family Success

    In this heartfelt episode of the Nacho Kids Podcast, Lori Sims welcomes guest Donna Kendrick, who shares her deeply personal story of loss, resilience, and blending families. Raised in Philadelphia, Donna Kendrick describes her journey from being married to a Philadelphia police officer, living abroad as a family, and navigating the aftermath of her husband's tragic taking of his own life after their return to the U.S. She candidly discusses how mental health struggles, grief, and trust issues shaped her decisions as a widow and a mother. Donna Kendrick goes on to recount meeting her current husband, a carpenter who had originally helped with renovations after her first husband's passing, and the slow, organic way their families and children came together. Through life's unexpected twists, including her husband's ex-wife's battle with cancer and the logistical and emotional challenges of moving and merging households, Donna Kendrick highlights the power of empathy, extended family support, and humor in navigating the ups and downs of blended family life. The episode touches on grief, motherhood, the importance of listening to your body, and the ongoing challenges and blessings of raising six children in a truly blended household. Lori and Donna share relatable stories and insights, with promises to bring Donna Kendrick back for future conversations about financial planning. In this episode: Grief and Resilience in Blended Families Navigating Blending After Loss and Divorce Compassion, Empathy, and Extended Support Practical Transitional Decisions Humor and Dark Comedy as Coping Importance of Self-care, Community, and Advocacy Adaptability and Open Communication Listeners will be inspired by themes of hope, community, and the ways that love and laughter can help families heal and grow together.

  5. Jun 19

    368: Surviving Summer In The Blend

    In this episode of the Nacho Kids Podcast, Lori and David broadcast live from the beach, sharing personal stories and hard-learned lessons about stepfamily vacations. They discuss the logistical and emotional challenges of blending five boys with different interests, from budgeting for group activities to navigating restaurant seating. The hosts reflect on the importance of flexibility, managing expectations, and keeping vacations short to minimize stress and conflict. A significant portion of the conversation covers the issue of summer childcare, especially when a stepparent works from home. Lori and David debate the fairness and practicality of expecting the stepparent to watch stepkids, emphasizing the need to establish clear boundaries and explore all childcare options before making decisions. They encourage open communication between partners to prevent resentment. Listeners are invited to share their own vacation strategies for stepfamilies. The episode closes with a recommendation: keep family trips shorter and save a few days for the couple to recover afterward! Topics Discussed Excitement about the Nacho Kids book release on Step Family Day (September 16) Reaching over 1 million podcast downloads Lessons learned about family vacations Keeping vacations short (3-4 days) reduces stress Letting each child choose one activity  Not forcing everyone to participate in everything Importance of flexibility and not over-planning Making sure each child has earphones/devices for long travel Sometimes it's best not to give kids options The emotional cost and lack of "vacation" time for parents compared to kids Summer childcare issues for stepparents who work from home Working from home is still working and should not equate to being default childcare Setting boundaries and having open conversations about expectations Exploring all options: camps, daycare, grandparents, babysitters, the other bio parent Considering compromises, such as part-time childcare Risks of resentment and increasing stress when solutions aren't fair Saving vacation days for adult-only trips, if possible Listeners are invited to share their own vacation strategies for stepfamilies. The episode closes with a recommendation: keep family trips shorter and save a few days for the couple to recover afterward!

  6. Jun 12

    367: Nacho Parenting Isn't That!

    This episode of the Nacho Kids Podcast dives into the realities of publishing the upcoming Nacho Kids book and unpacks common misconceptions about the Nacho Parenting method. The conversation focuses on the emotional journey behind writing and editing, clarifies what "nacho" means in step-parenting, and discusses the nuanced paths toward building healthier relationships within blended families. Listeners will hear honest reflections on perfectionism, practical advice on stepfamily dynamics, and encouragement for step-parents navigating their own journeys. Key topics discussed: The challenges and emotional process of writing, editing, and publishing the Nacho Kids book   Perfectionism vs. sharing helpful information: letting go of the need for perfection   The meaning of "nacho": clarifying that it's about boundaries and responsibility, not ignoring stepkids' issues   The difference between "disengaging" and "not engaging" as step-parents, and why these can be temporary, needed steps   Why step-parent/stepchild relationships can be complicated and change over time   The variety of step-parent roles, from supportive adult to parental figure, and the importance of adapting to each unique family situation   The importance of compassion, communication, and not forcing relationships or choices between step-kids and partners   Encouragement for self-development, understanding, and treating everyone in the blend with kindness and respect

  7. Jun 5

    366: Loss, Reconciliation, and Growth in the blend

    In this heartfelt episode, Lori talks with California Stepmom, who shares her decade-long journey as a stepmom in a blend with no biological or "ours" kids of her own, but with plenty of lessons learned and emotional ups and downs. California Stepmom discusses her initial excitement entering stepfamily life, the unexpected challenges she faced, particularly from toxic ex-spouse dynamics and loyalty binds, and the heartbreak of estrangement when her stepdaughter chose to leave their home at 17. She details the difficult court battles, emotional toll, and the invaluable role that the Nacho Kids Podcast, Academy, and one-on-one coaching with Lori played in helping her set boundaries, heal, and strengthen her marriage. The episode offers practical tools and hope for anyone navigating the complexities of stepfamily life, emphasizing the importance of self-care, patience, and the "long game" mindset. In this episode: Entering a blended family: initial hopes and realities of becoming a stepmom Navigating relationships with stepchildren and building trust The complexities of being a childless stepmom and feelings of being an outsider Managing the dynamic with the ex-wife, including toxic behaviors and parental alienation Loyalty binds and the influence of parents' actions on stepchildren Challenges of co-parenting, custody arrangements, and transition difficulties for kids Guilty parent syndrome and its impact on discipline and household dynamics Practical struggles: household boundaries, such as food and cleanliness issues Dealing with teen estrangement and the emotional aftermath The legal challenges of child support, child custody, and importance of court documentation Experiences with ineffective family therapy and the necessity of vetting professionals Emotional coping strategies: seeking community, therapy, and supportive resources Tools and language learned through the Nacho Kids Podcast and Academy Repairing and redefining the relationship with estranged stepchildren Ongoing growth, hope for the future, and building resilience as a stepfamily

  8. May 29

    365: The Second Time Around

    In this heartfelt episode of the Nacho Kids Podcast, David Sims and Lori Sims are joined by Erin and Jason Mencer to share their remarkable journey as a blended family. Married, divorced, and then remarried, Erin and Jason open up about the realities of stepfamily life, including challenges, personal growth, and what it truly takes to make a blended family work. Hear how expectations, family dynamics, and personal struggles led to their separation, and how faith, self-reflection, and the Nacho Kids method helped them rebuild, heal, and ultimately reunite. Their story is a testament to hope, resilience, and the power of second chances, offering inspiration and practical advice to anyone navigating the complexities of stepfamily life. Topics Discussed Jumping headfirst into the stepmom role and unrealistic nuclear family expectations Early struggles and searching for support/resources in blended families The impact of personal backgrounds and opposite personalities on the relationship The importance of personal growth and learning to "pick your battles" Applying (and sometimes struggling to apply) the Nacho Kids method Navigating discipline, boundaries, and the "step-back" approach The challenges of blending families with multiple children of varying ages Financial stress, family interference, and the weight of outside opinion Effects of living with extended family and oversharing with friends The process and emotional impact of separation and divorce Personal growth journeys, faith, and rediscovering oneself during time apart Rebuilding trust and repairing relationships after divorce Parenting agreements, custody changes, and relocation challenges Improving step-parent and stepchild relationships over time The renewed commitment after remarriage - setting God and teamwork at the center Advice for others: having patience, letting go of control, and embracing change The lasting importance of hope, forgiveness, and fighting for your marriage Listen and be inspired by a true story of growth, redemption, and what it means to Nacho!

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4.8
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About

Stepfamilies and blended families are very challenging. With a failure rate of over 70%, it's clear that blended families need help. Nacho Kids founders and blended family coaches, Lori and David Sims, are here to help blended families save their sanity and relationships. You'll hear the hosts and guests discuss the struggles and successes of blended family life and learn how the Nacho Kids Method is changing lives and saving relationships around the world.

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