The Way You Show Up

Kimberly Beam Holmes, PhD
  • 4.9 (410)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

Most people are living a version of themselves that they never choose.You've been showing up for your spouse, your kids, and your career—but you've been doing it on autopilot. You're living within a ceiling built by your past and sustained by your habits.I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended.The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine."We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health.If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here.New episodes every Tuesday.Don't just exist. Show up.

  1. 1d ago

    The Problem With Manifesting Your Dream Life

    Nobody can manifest their way to a million dollars. But a lot of people are selling the course anyway. Think about it. Promise someone money and they’ll buy. Promise fame and they’ll buy. Promise a bigger following and they’ll buy. It is the easiest thing in the world to sell. I used to follow a woman who sold a manifestation course. Called herself a Christian. And her biggest win of the year was that the year she divorced her husband was the year she made the most money. At what cost? In this video, I’m getting honest about the pull every one of us feels. More success. More followers. More money. I feel it too. I run a company. I have a channel. Of course I want it to grow. But I’ve watched creators hit a million subscribers by telling people to leave their marriages. And the comments prove it works. You can gain the whole world and lose your soul. I’ll tell you the story of how God called my husband and me to adopt, why I know that wasn’t manifestation, and what the prophets teach us about chasing a vision that was never about getting rich. I don’t have all the answers. These are just my musings. But before you spend $49 to manifest your future, it’s worth asking what it’s doing to your soul. I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended. The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine." We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health. If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here. New episodes every Thursday. Don't just exist. Show up. 🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com 🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

  2. Oct 15

    Are We Giving Up On Relationships Too Easily?

    Stop labeling people. Narcissist. Toxic. Gaslighter. Whatever the new pop psychology word is this week. I found a channel over the weekend. Christian branding. Millions of views. The whole message was the same: if your relationship is hard, it’s the other person. Cut them out. God will judge them. That’s not what scripture says. Micah 6:8 is simple. Act justly. Love mercy. Walk humbly with your God. Simple. Not easy. It’s easier to diagnose someone than to have the hard conversation. It’s easier to hold a grudge than to ask for forgiveness. It’s easier to cut people off than to look at what you did. But easy is a lie. The easy way out leaves you lonelier, angrier, and more walled off than before. I know this because I lived it. Twenty years of bitterness toward one person. Every right to feel it. And a couple of years ago, I finally forgave. Not because they earned it. Because carrying it was killing me. In this video, I break down why the “cut them out” message is spreading so fast, what narcissism actually is from a psychological standpoint, and what to do instead when a relationship that matters to you gets hard. Some relationships aren’t healthy. Some need distance. That’s real. But the mindset matters. Us versus them will poison everything it touches. There’s a better way. It’s narrow. It’s hard. And it’s the only one that actually works. I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended. The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine." We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health. If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here. New episodes every Thursday. Don't just exist. Show up. 🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com 🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

  3. Oct 1

    How Do I Prove To My Spouse That I've Changed?

    Take the Free LovePath™ Roadmap Assessment: https://bit.ly/4ylcru9 How do you prove to your spouse that you’ve really changed? It’s one thing to say you’re different. It’s another thing for your spouse to actually believe that the change is real, especially when there have been years of hurt, broken trust, or patterns that keep resurfacing. In this episode, I’m taking live calls from people facing difficult situations in their marriages and their lives. One caller has been separated from his wife for eight months and is now facing divorce. He believes he’s made significant changes in how he handles his anger, but his wife still isn’t convinced. So what does she actually need to see from him? And how can he begin rebuilding a sense of safety without constantly trying to convince her to save the marriage? I also talk with a woman whose struggle with holding onto years of papers and belongings is keeping her from moving forward with her husband, and we break down how to make progress when you know what you need to do but still struggle to do it. Then, I talk with a woman whose husband left during an affair. Now the affair may be over, his behavior toward her has started to change, and she’s wondering whether it’s time to tell him again that she still loves him, forgives him, and wants their marriage to work. I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended. The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine." We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health. If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here. New episodes every Thursday. Don't just exist. Show up. 🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com 🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

  4. Sep 24

    His Wife Left Him For A Family Member... Now What?

    FREE MINI-COURSE: The First 72 Hours After a Marriage Crisis https://bit.ly/4AzMPvm When your marriage is falling apart, you want answers. Why is this happening? What did I do? Can this still be saved? In this episode, I take live calls from people asking exactly those questions. Michael's wife filed for divorce and moved another man into their house. He's praying every day and doesn't know what else to do. My answer? Stop focusing on her. Focus on you. Be strong, calm, and gentle. And if you have to fight the divorce, fight it because you love her, not because you want to punish her. Jessica's husband wants a separation, and the reasons he's giving don't add up. So how do you get to the real one? You ask again. You don't get defensive. And you understand that the way you start that conversation decides how it ends. Stan wants to know if an affair can change someone's attachment style. Short answer: yes. The better news? It can change back. But only through repair. Three different stories. Same patterns. You'll probably hear yours in at least one of them. If your spouse just said "I love you, but I'm not in love with you," or "I want a divorce," start with the free mini-course at the top of this description. It doesn't matter if that happened three days ago or three years ago. The principles still apply. Until next week, stay strong. I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended. The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine." We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health. If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here. New episodes every Thursday. Don't just exist. Show up. 🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com 🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

  5. Sep 17

    Follow This If Your Spouse Is In An Affair

    For the first time on the show, I took your calls live. No scripts. No prep. Just real people in real crises telling me what's happening in their marriage and asking me what to do next. Bhavesh in London caught his wife with a coworker, and now she's filed for divorce and put a restraining order on him. He's done everything she ever asked him to do, and she treats him like he's dead. He wants to know if he should give up. Cindy in North Carolina had an emotional affair three years ago. Her husband says he'll leave the day their youngest turns 18. She's trying to work on herself, but she can't stop watching him. She wants to know how to take her eyes off him and put them back on her. Tommy in Oklahoma was married 28 years when his wife walked out with no explanation. Now she's living with another woman, and the only time they talk is in a courtroom. He wants to know how to get her home. If you're in any of these situations, one of these calls is going to sound a lot like your life. Listen for what I tell them. Then do it. I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended. The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine." We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health. If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here. New episodes every Thursday. Don't just exist. Show up. 🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com 🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

  6. Sep 10

    How To Stop Fighting With Your Spouse So Much

    Click here to submit your questions to be on the show! https://bit.ly/3Tv4287 Eight towels. Two blankets. Zero Amazon gift cards. That's what my husband came home with after I asked him to do one thing. So here's my question for you: how would you have responded in that moment? Most people go one of three ways. Laugh it off. Snap and say "I asked you to do ONE thing." Or start diagnosing your spouse with weaponized incompetence and building a whole story around it. I would have picked the middle one four years into my marriage. Not anymore. Because one fight about towels won't end a marriage. It's the rupture that happens over and over and never gets repaired. That's what breaks people apart. In this episode I walk through what I actually did instead, and why "if you don't have anything nice to say" might be the most underrated marriage advice in the South. Then we get into Solving Marriage Mysteries. A woman whose husband just filed for divorce while they're still living in the same house with five kids, and she can't figure out how to stay calm. A man standing for his wife who is deep in limerence and just went through an abortion, asking if there's any hope left. And a wife whose husband wants a separation while they're having the best sex of their marriage, wondering if she's about to be used. Those answers are honest. Some of them are hard. After that we open Luke 9:23 through 26 in Study Scripture With Me. The disciples had a very specific expectation of who the Messiah was supposed to be. Jesus was about to disappoint every bit of it. And what he offered instead was better than anything they had imagined. Deny yourself. Take up your cross daily. Follow me. That's not a group assignment. In the original Greek it's personal. Singular. Yours. I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended. The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine." We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health. If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here. New episodes every Thursday. Don't just exist. Show up. 🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com 🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

  7. Sep 3

    I Knew I Should've Kept My Mouth Shut...

    Resources Mentioned 👀 The 24 Hour Repair Clock: https://bit.ly/4iaXPIF Click here to submit questions: https://bit.ly/3Tv4287 I knew I shouldn't have done it. I did it anyway. Twice in one day. First I blew out my knee doing double unders I had no business doing. Then I blew up a conversation with my husband over something I should have let go. Fourteen years of teaching this stuff. And I still said the sassy thing. Then I said the second sassy thing, the one that turned a fine moment into a fight. Here's what I want you to hear. We didn't fix it before bed. We fixed it the next day, on my drive home from the gym, hobbling instead of running. That's the point. The goal was never perfection. The goal is knowing when to repair. Every marriage tears. Like a meniscus. What separates the couples who make it isn't that they stop tearing. It's that they notice fast and repair fast, over and over, for years. In this episode: Why I pushed when I knew better, and what a push actually looks like in real time. Solving Marriage Mysteries with three questions from around the world. New Zealand asks whether no contact or contact with pushes does more damage. The Philippines asks how to handle an in-house separation when your husband is emotionally involved with someone else. Perth asks how to work on your PIES when a chronic illness limits what your body can do. Study Scripture With Me on Matthew 6:19-21. Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. And what that has to do with how you spend your days. Then the Hot Seat, where I blind-rank ten things people say to their spouse from bad to worst. I got stumped early. Stay strong. I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended. The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine." We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health. If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here. New episodes every Thursday. Don't just exist. Show up. 🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com 🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

  8. Aug 27

    I don't even know who I am anymore...

    Resources Mentioned In This Episode: Follow Lucas LeFevre on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lucasplefevre/ Sign up for the Solo Spouse Masterclass: https://bit.ly/3SD36yn Submit your questions here! https://bit.ly/3Tv4287 "I don't even know who I am anymore." I heard it over and over in a coaching lab a few weeks ago, and it broke my heart. Different people. Different stories. Same sentence. You didn't lose yourself overnight. You gave yourself away one yes at a time. To a marriage. To a family. To a career. To everyone who told you who you were supposed to be. And then one morning you woke up and couldn't find yourself anywhere in it. I've been there. A few years ago I took a four month sabbatical. Deleted the email apps. Deleted Slack. Stopped working entirely. And the first thing I felt wasn't peace. It was terror. Because my biggest fear was that everything would be fine without me. Then my pastor asked a question that wrecked me: Who were you before the world told you different? In this episode I share what happened when I actually sat with that question. The 10 minute journaling practice that broke it open. The thought that broke through. The book that changed everything. And the vision God gave me that I never would have found if I hadn't stopped. If you feel lost right now, this one's for you. Also in this episode: Solving Marriage Mysteries. Three of your questions answered. Is 16 months too long to save a marriage. What to do when your spouse says he's done but still says he loves you. And what a husband should do when he finally wakes up and she's already checked out. Study Scripture With Me. John 3:25-30. John the Baptist knew exactly who he was and exactly who he wasn't, and his joy was complete either way. Unpopular Opinions. Why life isn't about being happy. Why physical attraction has almost nothing to do with how you look. And why almost no one is a narcissist and everyone is a narcissist. Ask and it will be given to you. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened. Be persistent. God is a Father who gives good gifts. Comment below and tell me what you want to see more of on this show. I read every single one. Share this with someone who needs it. Until next week, stay strong. I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended. The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine." We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health. If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here. New episodes every Thursday. Don't just exist. Show up. 🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com 🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

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4.9
out of 5
410 Ratings

About

Most people are living a version of themselves that they never choose.You've been showing up for your spouse, your kids, and your career—but you've been doing it on autopilot. You're living within a ceiling built by your past and sustained by your habits.I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended.The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine."We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health.If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here.New episodes every Tuesday.Don't just exist. Show up.

Information

  • Creator
    Kimberly Beam Holmes, PhD
  • Years Active
    2020 - 2026
  • Episodes
    291
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 PIES University, LLC.
  • Show Website
    The Way You Show Up

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