Expedition Marriage with Chris & Jamie Bailey

Expedition Marriage with Chris & Jamie Bailey
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Welcome to the Expedition Marriage Podcast! We're glad you're here! We're Chris and Jamie Bailey, and we are Christian counselors and marriage coaches. We're here to help you put God in the center of your marriage by sharing some solid biblical truth, along with some practical marriage tips. So, no matter where you're at in your marriage, start getting excited, because we're here to help you Enjoy the Journey!

  1. 4d ago

    Ep. 194: Marriage Will Change You (And That's the Point)

    "My spouse will never change." It's one of the most common frustrations we hear from married couples. But what if we're asking the wrong question? In this episode, Chris and Jamie talk about one of the hardest—and most beautiful—parts of marriage: marriage is designed to change us. When two imperfect people share a home, a life, disappointments, responsibilities, vulnerabilities, and decades together, there's going to be friction. But that friction doesn't automatically mean something is wrong. Sometimes it's revealing something. Marriage can expose our pride, defensiveness, fears, control, unmet expectations, family-of-origin wounds, selfishness, and the places where God still wants to grow us. Chris and Jamie also pull back the curtain on their own 32-year marriage and answer four questions about how marriage has personally changed each of them. In this episode: Why your spouse today isn't the same person you married How Proverbs 27:17 applies to marriage Why healthy friction can produce refinement Four questions to ask each other about how marriage has changed you Why your spouse can trigger a wound they didn't create How marriage exposes hidden expectations What to ask instead of "Why does my spouse make me act this way?" Why biblical oneness does not mean losing yourself How conflict can move you toward understanding and healing Why the goal isn't simply for God to change your marriage—but to use your marriage to change you Key question: Instead of asking, "God, why won't you change my spouse?" what if we began asking, "God, who are you inviting me to become in this marriage?" 🎁 Get the four conversation questions from this episode in the show notes. https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-194-marriage-will-change-you-and-thats-the-point/ And if you recognize that some of your reactions began long before your marriage, grab our The Family You Came From guide and use code PODCAST20 for your podcast listener discount. https://expeditionmarriage.org/courses/the-family-you-came-from/   00:00 Marriage Changes You 00:41 Why Spouses Do Change 02:30 Marriage Reveals the Heart 04:08 Iron Sharpens Iron 06:28 Sparks and Repeat Fights 08:23 Four Questions Setup 08:50 How We've Changed 12:43 Growth Areas to Work On 16:13 Unexpected Marriage Impact 19:52 Lessons Learned Together 22:09 Marriage as a Mirror 23:26 Stop Blaming Your Spouse 24:40 Search Me O God 25:08 Love Well Not Feelings 25:58 Boundaries And Change 27:05 Compromise Makes Us Win 28:04 Oneness Without Losing Self 29:48 Reset Unreal Expectations 39:11 Wounds And Triggers 41:41 Family Of Origin Patterns 44:06 Friction Becomes Refinement 47:38 Prayer And Final Charge

  2. Aug 13

    Ep. 193: Before You Cut Off a Parent: Boundaries & Biblical Reconciliation

    Should you cut off a toxic or difficult parent? It's a question more adult children are asking, and the answer isn't always as simple as social media makes it sound. Sometimes no contact really is necessary. Abuse, violence, active addiction, and unsafe behavior require protection and strong boundaries. But what about the parent who disagrees with your parenting? The emotionally immature mom? The highly opinionated dad? The family member who hurts you but may still be capable of respecting boundaries? In Episode 193 of Expedition Marriage, Chris and Jamie talk honestly about trauma, family estrangement, healthy boundaries, forgiveness, and biblical reconciliation. Jamie also shares the deeply personal story of her relationship with her mother—and what happened when, after years of difficulty, she chose to lean in rather than completely close the door. The result was something she never expected: understanding, healing, reconciliation, and peace before her mother's death. You'll learn: ✔ When no contact may be appropriate ✔ Trauma vs. painful life experiences ✔ Why boundaries aren't the same as estrangement ✔ How to give difficult family members different levels of access ✔ Forgiveness vs. reconciliation ✔ Why disagreement doesn't necessarily mean someone is unsafe ✔ How Jamie navigated a painful relationship with her mother ✔ What to consider before ending a family relationship   🎁 We also created a free 8-page Before You Break Contact guide to help you thoughtfully evaluate your situation before making such a significant decision. https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-193-before-you-cut-off-a-parent-boundaries-biblical-reconciliation/ If you're navigating a painful family relationship, we hope this episode gives you both wisdom and hope. 00:00 Pain and Healing Question 00:50 Cutoff Culture and Conflict 01:34 Adult Child Estrangement 02:47 Therapy vs Social Media Influence 04:45 Voices Over God and Family 06:19 Fear Mongering and Victimhood 09:03 Trauma Realities and Healing 11:05 Labels Little T vs Big T 13:47 Resilience in Anxious Times 17:34 Estrangement as Last Resort 18:52 Grandparents And Differences 19:53 Kids Need Real World 20:35 Boundaries With Mom 23:14 Leaning In For Healing 26:21 When Cutoff Is Needed 29:57 Why Family Matters 34:10 Access Levels Boundaries 35:58 Before No Contact Steps 37:39 Forgiveness Versus Reconciliation 39:16 Prayer And Final Charge     #FamilyEstrangement #ToxicParents #ChristianCounseling #HealthyBoundaries #NoContact #ChristianFamily #Reconciliation

  3. Aug 6

    Ep. 192: The Family You Grew Up In Is Shaping Your Marriage (Whether You Realize It or Not)

    Have you ever wondered why you react the way you do in your marriage? Why one of you shuts down... Why the other feels the need to control... Why conflict feels terrifying for one person and normal for another... The answers may have started long before you ever said, "I do." In this episode, Chris and Jamie explore how the family you grew up in shapes the way you communicate, handle conflict, pursue intimacy, and experience emotional safety in marriage. They unpack several common family environments—including chaotic homes, "sweep it under the rug" families, walking-on-eggshells homes, performance-based families, and healthy, God-centered families—and explain the survival skills each one teaches children. More importantly, they show why those survival skills often become destructive when carried into adulthood. You'll learn: • Why your childhood explains your reactions—but doesn't define your future • How survival skills become unhealthy relationship patterns • Why understanding your spouse creates compassion instead of criticism • How emotional safety transforms marriage • The difference between surviving relationships and truly living in them • What a healthy, God-centered family actually looks like   Whether you're trying to understand yourself, your spouse, or the legacy you're creating for your own children, this conversation will help you connect the dots and discover hope for lasting change. Your story doesn't have to end where it began. Learn more about identifying your family pattern, how it is affecting your marriage, and steps you can take to help with our The Family You Came From course (as discussed on the podcast): https://expeditionmarriage.org/courses/the-family-you-came-from Use Discount Code: PODCAST20 for 20% off   00:00 Conflict Feels Normal 00:25 Family Rhythms And Survival 01:39 No Shame Just Growth 04:27 Compassion Over Triggers 05:56 Chaotic Family Signs 09:34 Hypervigilance And Control 11:35 Distrusting Peace In Marriage 14:43 Sweep It Under Rug 16:23 When Conflict Feels Failure 21:30 Walk On Eggshells Home 24:29 Control vs Safety 25:26 Plastic Bag Passivity 25:44 Boundaries and Emotions 26:10 Survival Skills Trap 26:55 Healing Feels Unsafe 28:22 Letting God Fight 29:30 Performance Family Pressure 31:46 Perfectionism at Home 33:45 Fear of Failure in Men 37:09 Secure God Centered Family 39:49 Grace Truth and Repair 43:52 Hope Prayer and Next Steps

  4. Jul 30

    Ep. 191: Your Health Is Worship: Why God Cares About Your Health as a Couple More Than You Think

    Does God actually care about your physical health? Many Christians have unknowingly separated faith from health, believing one is spiritual while the other is merely physical. Former NHL strength coach Justin Roethlingshoefer believes that's one of the greatest misconceptions in the Church today. In this episode, Justin shares how Scripture and science beautifully work together to reveal God's intentional design for the human body. Chris and Jamie also explore how depleted health affects marriage, parenting, ministry, and every other area of life. Topics include: ✔ Why your body is an act of worship ✔ Why identity comes before habits ✔ The enemy's strategy of distraction and depletion ✔ Biblical rhythms for work, rest, and recovery ✔ Why healthy people love others better ✔ Building holy health instead of worldly health   Learn more about Justin and Holy Health:   www.holyhealthbook.com Amazon affiliate link - https://a.co/d/0haUWrBu   Follow Justin on Social media:  https://www.instagram.com/justinroeth?igsh=MTN4NGhtYzh2NmoyYg==  https://www.instagram.com/weareholyhealth?igsh=b3Z2bzBjZGNubGVq 00:00 Meet Justin Roethlingshoefer 01:17 From Extremes to Healing 06:15 Science Meets Scripture 08:09 Living Sacrifice Mindset 11:00 Church Health Crisis 15:22 Enemy Playbook Seven Ds 21:48 Genesis Design Rhythms 26:33 Depletion and Identity 31:41 Values Language Shift 34:50 Stop Saying I Cant 35:19 Cold Pool Integrity Test 37:21 Confidence Through Habits 39:58 Words Shape Identity 41:34 Couples Build Holy Rhythms 42:10 Compromise Cascade Explained 44:47 Marriage Alignment Examples 50:16 Men Discouragement Reset 55:04 Women Boundaries Refill 59:05 Book Launch And Bonuses 01:01:06 Gods Fingerprints In Body 01:04:36 Holy Health 40 And Academy 01:06:50 Final Blessing And Sendoff

  5. Jul 23

    Ep. 190: Can You Master Your Marriage? The Skills Every Couple Needs

    Can marriage really be mastered? Jalen and Cacie Barnes believe it can. In this episode, Chris and Jamie sit down with Christian marriage coaches, speakers, and hosts of The Jalen & Cacie Show to discuss how they went from struggling as newlyweds to developing a framework that has helped countless couples strengthen their marriages. Their story is unique. They didn't enter marriage with obvious baggage or major life trauma. They were committed Christians who still found themselves struggling with communication, trust, intimacy, and unmet expectations from the very beginning. Rather than settling for an unhappy marriage, they chose to learn the skills that create a thriving one. Together, they unpack four foundational pillars that every healthy marriage needs: • Communication that creates unity • Trust that can be rebuilt • Intimacy that goes beyond sex • A shared vision that keeps couples moving in the same direction They also discuss why so many couples remain stuck, how hidden beliefs sabotage marriages, the importance of being teachable, and why conflict can become one of God's greatest tools for growth. Whether your marriage is thriving or struggling, this conversation will encourage you to stop settling and begin intentionally building the marriage God designed for you. Learn more about Jalen & Cacie's challenge: https://jalenandcacie.com/products/master-your-marriage-challenge-general-admissi?promo=EMMYM 00:00 Meet Jalen and Cacie 00:51 How We Became Friends 02:22 Newlywed Struggles Begin 03:45 No Divorce No Misery 05:29 Learning Marriage on YouTube 07:47 Homework and Hunger to Grow 11:09 One Motivated One Settling 14:56 Coachable or Not 18:33 Why Couples Stay Stuck 25:42 Master Your Marriage Challenge 26:45 Pillar One Communication 27:13 Trust Bank and Boundaries 28:16 Intimacy Beyond Sex 32:29 Marriage Reveals Blind Spots 33:36 Spouse as Healing Resource 35:17 Freedom Through Understanding 36:54 Conflict Builds Resilience 37:54 Vision Beats Division 41:53 Holy Spirit as Interpreter 44:06 Husbands Lead With Vision 47:42 Four Day Challenge Results 50:10 Hope and Long Term Growth 52:54 Community Next Steps 54:20 Final Encouragement and Thanks

  6. Jul 16

    Ep 189: How to Build a Marriage That Keeps Getting Better

    Can couples really stay deeply in love after 20 or 30 years of marriage?   According to neuroscience… and more importantly, God, the answer is yes.   In this episode, Chris and Jamie explore fascinating research on couples who have remained happily married for decades.   The not-so surprising part is every one of these habits reflect principles God has already given us in Scripture.   Drawing from their own 32-year marriage, Chris and Jamie honestly discuss where they've succeeded, where they've struggled, and how intentionally living out biblical principles has transformed their relationship over time.   In this episode you'll discover:   • Why novelty strengthens connection • The importance of daily physical touch • How shared rituals create emotional safety • Why gratitude changes your marriage • The power of staying curious about your spouse • Why eye contact and presence matter more than ever • How growing together strengthens lifelong love   If you've ever wondered whether it's possible to stay deeply in love after decades of marriage, this episode offers both hope and practical direction.   God's design for marriage has always worked. Science is simply catching up with these  7 Science-Backed Habits of Couples Who Stay in Love (And the Bible Explained Them First)   00:00 Love That Lasts 00:33 Science Behind Long Love 02:49 Faith And Neuroscience 04:33 Seven Principles Setup 04:53 Seek Novelty Together 09:11 Our Adventure Examples 13:27 Daily Physical Touch 19:40 Touch When Touched Out 21:27 Protect Shared Rituals 22:01 Rhythms And Security 22:24 Biblical Patterns Vs Algorithms 23:26 Shared Bedtime Ritual 24:36 Weekly Check In And Prayer 26:18 Express Gratitude Often 30:12 Curiosity Builds Connection 36:38 Eye Contact Full Presence 40:08 Grow Together In Faith 44:02 Prayer And Practical Handout   Get the 7 Principles For A Marriage That Lasts that was discussed on the podcast from off of the show notes on our website at:  https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-189-how-to-build-a-marriage-that-keeps-getting-better/   Listen to the SING App as discussed on the program - https://sing.theworshipinitiative.com/

  7. Jul 9

    Ep. 188: The Marriage Principle Most Couples Ignore

    Your Marriage Is Growing Something… What Are You Planting? What kind of marriage are you planting today? Most couples focus on the problems they're experiencing right now, but Scripture points us to something much deeper: every marriage is continually sowing seeds that will eventually produce a harvest. In this episode, Chris and Jamie explore the powerful biblical principle of Sowing and Reaping and how it applies to your marriage. They explain why marriages don't become deeply connected—or painfully disconnected—overnight. Instead, they are shaped by thousands of small choices, habits, attitudes, and interactions over time. You'll discover: • The three biblical truths about sowing and reaping • Why neglect is never neutral in marriage • How busyness slowly creates disconnection • The danger of self-protection, resentment, and criticism • Why awareness is one of the greatest gifts you can develop • How to begin planting seeds that lead to connection, trust, and intimacy • Why it's never too late to prepare the soil and start again No matter what your marriage looks like today, God's mercies are new every morning. If you're willing to begin planting different seeds, He can produce a different harvest. This episode offers practical encouragement and biblical hope for couples who want to intentionally build a thriving marriage and a lasting family legacy.   00:00 Planting for Your Future 01:16 Sowing and Reaping Law 03:07 Three Truths of Reaping 04:28 Waiting Through Seasons 07:08 Our Marriage Turnaround 09:39 Clearing the Field First 12:56 Seeds of Neglect 16:03 Self Protection Patterns 17:43 Walls Of Disconnection 18:43 Words That Kill Or Heal 21:00 Hope And Awareness 24:32 Sowing Time Together 26:07 Resentment And Forgiveness 29:24 Sowing Through Tears 31:06 Plant The Tree Now 33:20 Legacy Worth The Work 35:26 Prayer And Next Steps

  8. Jul 2

    Ep. 187: The Window of Tolerance in Marriage: Why Couples Keep Having the Same Fight

    Why do you and your spouse keep having the same argument? Maybe it's not because one of you doesn't care.   Maybe it's because neither of you has the capacity to solve the problem in that moment.   In this episode, Chris and Jamie explain one of the most important concepts they've learned about relationships—the Window of Tolerance.    You'll discover why your nervous system reacts the way it does during conflict, how past experiences shape your reactions today, and how God's design for our brains actually points us toward healthier, safer relationships.   Rather than trying to "win" the argument, you'll learn how to recognize when your body is moving into survival mode and how to return to a place where genuine connection and healing can happen.   Whether you're the spouse who shuts down, gets defensive, becomes anxious, or escalates conflict, this episode will help you understand yourself—and your spouse—with greater compassion and practical hope.   In This Episode What the Window of Tolerance actually is Why your spouse is not your enemy The difference between reacting and responding Fight, flight, and freeze in marriage How childhood shapes adult conflict patterns Why couples repeat the same arguments The importance of emotional safety Co-regulation and helping each other return to calm Biblical wisdom behind nervous system regulation Practical ways to widen your Window of Tolerance   00:00 Fighting Outside Tolerance 01:03 Why We React in Conflict 02:00 Survival Brain vs Spouse 03:04 Pulling Weeds by the Root 04:05 Mint Story No Quick Fix 06:27 Define the Window 08:41 Hyper vs Hypo Arousal 10:55 Our Marriage Patterns 14:46 Get Regulated First 16:39 Bible Wisdom Meets Neuroscience 17:46 Dam Breach and Timeouts 19:28 Co Regulation and Family Roots 20:59 Conflict Feels Like Abandonment 22:46 Nervous Systems Collide 23:15 Childhood Training Grounds 24:23 Survival Skills Become Patterns 26:15 What Shrinks Your Window 27:52 Your Conflict Cycle Example 29:35 Safety Builds Tolerance 31:03 Boat Analogy Co Regulation 34:17 Name It Take a Timeout 35:31 Prayer and Grace Reset 39:55 Mutual Responsibility Plan 43:04 Final Takeaways This Week   Connect with Chris & Jamie at email@expeditionmarriage.org

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Welcome to the Expedition Marriage Podcast! We're glad you're here! We're Chris and Jamie Bailey, and we are Christian counselors and marriage coaches. We're here to help you put God in the center of your marriage by sharing some solid biblical truth, along with some practical marriage tips. So, no matter where you're at in your marriage, start getting excited, because we're here to help you Enjoy the Journey!

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