The Leftover Pieces: Suicide Loss Conversations

Melissa Bottorff-Arey

Suicide loss changes everything. This show is about life after suicide—real talk and practical support for grief after suicide: parents, partners, siblings, and friends finding their footing again. Each week, we explore what helps in suicide bereavement so you can keep going with honesty and hope. Hosted by Melissa Bottorff-Arey, whose 21-year-old son, Alex, died by suicide in 2016, the podcast blends intimate conversations with survivors, healers, and mental health experts with short solo “Daily Nugget” episodes you can actually use. We cover child loss, trauma and nervous-system care, anniversaries and seasons, stigma, faith and meaning, legacy, and the everyday practices that make life livable again. You’ll hear grounded tools, language that honors your person, and the reminder that you are not broken—you are grieving. For supporters and educators, these episodes offer insight into the realities of suicide grief and what genuine, non-fixing support looks like. If you’d like to share your story or expertise, you can request to be a guest via my website. 💜 Content Note This podcast speaks candidly about difficult experiences and may feel activating. We avoid method details and graphic description. Please care for yourself as needed. I’m not a doctor or licensed therapist; nothing here is medical or mental-health advice.

  1. Reacting vs. Responding in Grief: Your Nervous System Needn't be the Enemy

    EPISODE 1

    Reacting vs. Responding in Grief: Your Nervous System Needn't be the Enemy

    Reacting vs. Responding in Grief — Life After Suicide Loss Today I’m “down the rabbit hole,” teasing apart reacting vs. responding after traumatic loss—not to shame reactions (they’re human), but to widen the space where we can choose. We’ll touch nervous-system patterns (fight/flight/freeze/fawn/flop), how to spot activation in real time, and how tiny, honest choices build a life aligned with values. If you’ve been listening to October’s Daily Nuggets, this pairs with Hope → Healing → Becoming very well Reaction: fast, automatic, discomfort-ending; urgent; body running the show. Response: chosen, value-aligned; includes feelings; checks context/impact. After suicide loss, we’re not “broken,” we’re activated. The work is creating a small gap between impulse and action so love gets a say. Five protection styles (no shame, just data): Fight • Flight • Freeze • Fawn • Flop Tiny mantra: “My body is loud. I don’t have to obey it.” How to tell you’re reacting (so you can pivot): Body (jaw/chest/gut, heat/cold, tunnel vision, fatigue) • Thoughts (catastrophe, always/never, fixing others) • Behavior (fast texts, ghosting, auto-yes). Common activators: the day they died (aka 'the worst day'), songs, smells, certain phrases, etc—treat as green lights to pause. I give a real, recent example in the episode of how this concept shows up for me now that I am more practiced at responding over being on autopilot and just reacting.... AND here are two grounded general (common) examples: The Hot Text: Phone face-down → 3 breaths → “This is fight” → normalize → draft, don’t send → after sleep, keep 2 lines, delete 10. Relationship and nervous system preserved.The Family Invite: Values check (honesty, tenderness, capacity) → two-liner: “Thanks for including me. I’m keeping things gentle this month and won’t make it, but I’m sending love.”Top 5 tools (details in the PDF inside the Lighthouse Community Library) Thread back to Hope → Healing → Becoming Hope = capacity (not cheer). Healing = nervous-system literacy. Becoming = the widening gap between impulse and action—where love, truth, and capacity meet. “When the wave lifts, I do not argue the sea. I plant my feet, name the water, and choose the next breath.” 💜 Community Soon you will find the Download with examples in the Library inside The Moms Lighthouse Community (link below) Support the show __________________________________________________________________________ Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything! CLICK HERE 💜 The Leftover Pieces is support central for grieving hearts. 🔗 Stay connected: Join my free email community for weekly check-ins, resources, and encouragement. 🌟 For moms: Explore the $9 Lighthouse Community — safe connection, tools, and hope. 🛠 Resources for all grievers: Start here. 🤝 One-on-one grief coaching for moms after child loss to suicide: Learn more here. 📞 Need help now? If you or someone you love is struggling with suicidal thoughts, dial 988 in the U.S. & Canada, or text HOME to 741741.

    32 min
  2. Your Mind Won’t Let You Move Forward: The Power of Subconscious Healing after Suicide Loss

    EPISODE 2

    Your Mind Won’t Let You Move Forward: The Power of Subconscious Healing after Suicide Loss

    Today I’m joined by Emily Dziedzic, a subconscious change practitioner who helps high-achieving women break free from anxiety, fear, and emotional overwhelm using fast, root-level rewiring. And this work, with her, was a game changer in my own healing. I first worked with Emily back in 2021 during an intensive NLP program — Neuro Linguistic Programming — along with hypnosis and unconscious mind work. It ended up being one of the most transformational pieces of my own healing when I felt completely stuck. That experience with her is a big part of what led me into the work I do today. In this conversation, Emily and I talk about why the mind can hold us in place long after the early years of grief, and how subconscious work can gently open the next chapter. She breaks down how unconscious patterns form, why traditional “talking it through” doesn’t always create change, and what actually helps fear and overwhelm loosen their grip. If you’re farther along in your grief and feeling like you’ve hit an internal wall you can’t quite name, this episode will meet you right there. What We Cover Why we get “stuck” even years after lossHow subconscious patterns form and how they’re rewiredThe difference between understanding your story vs. releasing itWhat unconscious mind work and hypnosis actually do (in simple language)How clearing fear at the root supports deeper healingEmily’s own turning point with anxiety and burnoutPractical tools for calming the nervous system and building inner confidenceAbout Emily Emily is trained in NLP Master Coaching & Hypnotherapy, NLP & Hypnosis Training, CranioSacral Therapy, Huna, Ho‘oponopono, Coaching the Unconscious Mind, and Integrative Hypnosis. Her work gets to the root of stuck patterns without rehashing trauma or digging for drama. Connect with Emily Her Website: https://www.emilydziedzic.com And Her Instagram Here Support the show __________________________________________________________________________ Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything! CLICK HERE 💜 The Leftover Pieces is support central for grieving hearts. 🔗 Stay connected: Join my free email community for weekly check-ins, resources, and encouragement. 🌟 For moms: Explore the $9 Lighthouse Community — safe connection, tools, and hope. 🛠 Resources for all grievers: Start here. 🤝 One-on-one grief coaching for moms after child loss to suicide: Learn more here. 📞 Need help now? If you or someone you love is struggling with suicidal thoughts, dial 988 in the U.S. & Canada, or text HOME to 741741.

    48 min
  3. Surviving December After Suicide Loss: When the Holidays Arrive Before You’re Ready

    EPISODE 2

    Surviving December After Suicide Loss: When the Holidays Arrive Before You’re Ready

    Surviving December After Suicide Loss: When the Holidays Arrive Before You’re Ready... A daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, space...and my gentle company. Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything! 👉 The Leftover Pieces App Today’s Reflection December has a way of showing up before our hearts are ready. Today’s episode offers permission to start this month exactly where you actually are — messy, tired, hopeful, aching, or all of the above. When the outer world speeds up, your inner truth is allowed to slow down. Quoted or Referenced In This Episode  – “To be human is to become visible while carrying what is hidden…” — David Whyte A Gentle Closing Reminder You don’t have to match the world’s pace or energy today. Your honesty is enough, and beginning December from the place you are — not the place you’re expected to be — is an act of courage. Stay Connected 💜 Use the Leftover Pieces App for bonus support, resources, and community. 💜 Find all podcast episodes & grief resources at TheLeftoverPieces.com 💜 Follow on Instagram @theleftoverpieces Support the show __________________________________________________________________________ Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything! CLICK HERE 💜 The Leftover Pieces is support central for grieving hearts. 🔗 Stay connected: Join my free email community for weekly check-ins, resources, and encouragement. 🌟 For moms: Explore the $9 Lighthouse Community — safe connection, tools, and hope. 🛠 Resources for all grievers: Start here. 🤝 One-on-one grief coaching for moms after child loss to suicide: Learn more here. 📞 Need help now? If you or someone you love is struggling with suicidal thoughts, dial 988 in the U.S. & Canada, or text HOME to 741741.

    5 min
  4. Letting Go of the “Shoulds”: Releasing Holiday Pressure After Suicide Loss

    EPISODE 4

    Letting Go of the “Shoulds”: Releasing Holiday Pressure After Suicide Loss

    A daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company. Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything! 👉 The Leftover Pieces App This is December 2, Welcome Fellow Griever Today’s Reflection December brings an avalanche of “shoulds,” especially after suicide loss. Today’s episode invites you to release the unrealistic expectations the world places on grieving hearts — and to honor the truth of where you actually are. Quoted or Referenced In This Episode – “Grief never ends. It just changes shape.” — Anderson Cooper – “What punishments of God are not gifts?” — Stephen Colbert A Gentle Closing Reminder You don’t owe December a performance or a former version of yourself. Let today be honest, gentle, and yours. Stay Connected 💜 Use the Leftover Pieces App for bonus support and community. 💜 Find all episodes & resources at TheLeftoverPieces.com 💜 Follow on Instagram @theleftoverpieces Support the show __________________________________________________________________________ Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything! CLICK HERE 💜 The Leftover Pieces is support central for grieving hearts. 🔗 Stay connected: Join my free email community for weekly check-ins, resources, and encouragement. 🌟 For moms: Explore the $9 Lighthouse Community — safe connection, tools, and hope. 🛠 Resources for all grievers: Start here. 🤝 One-on-one grief coaching for moms after child loss to suicide: Learn more here. 📞 Need help now? If you or someone you love is struggling with suicidal thoughts, dial 988 in the U.S. & Canada, or text HOME to 741741.

    6 min
  5. Grief & Grace in December: Allowing Yourself to Feel What’s Real

    EPISODE 5

    Grief & Grace in December: Allowing Yourself to Feel What’s Real

    A daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company. Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything! 👉 The Leftover Pieces App It is December 3 - welcome, Fellow Griever Today’s Reflection Today’s episode explores how grief and grace can coexist in December, even when the world feels loud and expectant. You are reminded that you don’t owe anyone emotional performance — honesty and gentleness are enough. Quoted or Referenced In This Episode – “Grief turns out to be a place none of us know until we reach it.” — Joan Didion – Reflections from Stephen Colbert on love, loss, and gratitude A Gentle Closing Reminder You’re allowed to carry grief and grace together. Let today be soft where it can be. Stay Connected 💜 TheLeftoverPieces.com 💜 Instagram @theleftoverpieces 💜 Follow along in the Leftover Pieces App Support the show __________________________________________________________________________ Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything! CLICK HERE 💜 The Leftover Pieces is support central for grieving hearts. 🔗 Stay connected: Join my free email community for weekly check-ins, resources, and encouragement. 🌟 For moms: Explore the $9 Lighthouse Community — safe connection, tools, and hope. 🛠 Resources for all grievers: Start here. 🤝 One-on-one grief coaching for moms after child loss to suicide: Learn more here. 📞 Need help now? If you or someone you love is struggling with suicidal thoughts, dial 988 in the U.S. & Canada, or text HOME to 741741.

    4 min
  6. Soft Landings Only: Creating Gentle Space in a Heavy Month

    EPISODE 7

    Soft Landings Only: Creating Gentle Space in a Heavy Month

    A daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company. Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything! 👉 The Leftover Pieces App This is December 4 — Welcome, Fellow Griever Tonight is our Full Moon Intention Gathering inside The Lighthouse Community. If you’re a mom and want a gentle space to connect, breathe, and set intentions together, you’re welcome to join. 💜 See the community details on my website Today’s Reflection Today’s episode explores what it means to allow yourself soft landings in a season that can feel sharp and demanding. You’re reminded that gentleness isn’t indulgence — it’s part of survival when grieving during the holidays. Quoted or Referenced In This Episode – “You don’t get over it. You just get used to it.” — Billy Bob Thornton – “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes — including you.” — Anne Lamott A Gentle Closing Reminder Let yourself arrive softly today. You deserve moments of ease, even in December. Stay Connected 💜 TheLeftoverPieces.com 💜 Instagram @theleftoverpieces 💜 Follow along in the Leftover Pieces App Support the show __________________________________________________________________________ Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything! CLICK HERE 💜 The Leftover Pieces is support central for grieving hearts. 🔗 Stay connected: Join my free email community for weekly check-ins, resources, and encouragement. 🌟 For moms: Explore the $9 Lighthouse Community — safe connection, tools, and hope. 🛠 Resources for all grievers: Start here. 🤝 One-on-one grief coaching for moms after child loss to suicide: Learn more here. 📞 Need help now? If you or someone you love is struggling with suicidal thoughts, dial 988 in the U.S. & Canada, or text HOME to 741741.

    5 min
  7. You Don’t Have to Hold It All: Letting Your Heart Lead the Way

    EPISODE 8

    You Don’t Have to Hold It All: Letting Your Heart Lead the Way

    A daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company. Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything! 👉 The Leftover Pieces App This is December 5 — Welcome, Fellow Griever Today’s Reflection Today’s episode invites you to let your heart — not December’s expectations — guide your pace. Whether you're barely surviving, rebuilding your foundations, or beginning to reconnect with joy and meaning, you are reminded that you don’t have to hold everything this month asks of you. Quoted or Referenced In This Episode – “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” — C.S. Lewis – Reflections from Anderson Cooper on grief, grace, and surviving the day A Gentle Closing Reminder You’re allowed to choose what you carry today — and what you set down. Stay Connected 💜 TheLeftoverPieces.com 💜 Instagram @theleftoverpieces 💜 Download the Leftover Pieces App Support the show __________________________________________________________________________ Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything! CLICK HERE 💜 The Leftover Pieces is support central for grieving hearts. 🔗 Stay connected: Join my free email community for weekly check-ins, resources, and encouragement. 🌟 For moms: Explore the $9 Lighthouse Community — safe connection, tools, and hope. 🛠 Resources for all grievers: Start here. 🤝 One-on-one grief coaching for moms after child loss to suicide: Learn more here. 📞 Need help now? If you or someone you love is struggling with suicidal thoughts, dial 988 in the U.S. & Canada, or text HOME to 741741.

    5 min
  8. Rest as Resistance, Rest as Renewal: Letting Yourself Be Human Today

    EPISODE 9

    Rest as Resistance, Rest as Renewal: Letting Yourself Be Human Today

    A daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company. Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything! 👉 The Leftover Pieces App This is December 6 — Welcome, Fellow Griever Today’s Reflection Today’s episode honors rest as both resistance and renewal. Whether you're barely surviving, rebuilding your foundation, or beginning to reconnect with moments of joy or purpose, this reflection invites you to trust the wisdom of your energy and move through the day in a way that supports your grieving heart. Quoted or Referenced In This Episode – “Grief is not a problem to be solved; it’s an experience to be carried.” — Megan Devine – Reflections from Anderson Cooper on carrying grief and love together A Gentle Closing Reminder However, rest shows up for you today, let it be enough. Stay Connected 💜 TheLeftoverPieces.com 💜 Instagram @theleftoverpieces  💜 Download the Leftover Pieces App Support the show __________________________________________________________________________ Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything! CLICK HERE 💜 The Leftover Pieces is support central for grieving hearts. 🔗 Stay connected: Join my free email community for weekly check-ins, resources, and encouragement. 🌟 For moms: Explore the $9 Lighthouse Community — safe connection, tools, and hope. 🛠 Resources for all grievers: Start here. 🤝 One-on-one grief coaching for moms after child loss to suicide: Learn more here. 📞 Need help now? If you or someone you love is struggling with suicidal thoughts, dial 988 in the U.S. & Canada, or text HOME to 741741.

    5 min

Trailer

4.9
out of 5
75 Ratings

About

Suicide loss changes everything. This show is about life after suicide—real talk and practical support for grief after suicide: parents, partners, siblings, and friends finding their footing again. Each week, we explore what helps in suicide bereavement so you can keep going with honesty and hope. Hosted by Melissa Bottorff-Arey, whose 21-year-old son, Alex, died by suicide in 2016, the podcast blends intimate conversations with survivors, healers, and mental health experts with short solo “Daily Nugget” episodes you can actually use. We cover child loss, trauma and nervous-system care, anniversaries and seasons, stigma, faith and meaning, legacy, and the everyday practices that make life livable again. You’ll hear grounded tools, language that honors your person, and the reminder that you are not broken—you are grieving. For supporters and educators, these episodes offer insight into the realities of suicide grief and what genuine, non-fixing support looks like. If you’d like to share your story or expertise, you can request to be a guest via my website. 💜 Content Note This podcast speaks candidly about difficult experiences and may feel activating. We avoid method details and graphic description. Please care for yourself as needed. I’m not a doctor or licensed therapist; nothing here is medical or mental-health advice.

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