The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations Melissa Bottorff-Arey

Today is an extra personal episode … we are officially kicking off Season 4. This season comes out as our family hits 6 years since my 21-year-old son Alex died by suicide. For this season premiere episode, I sat down in a Zoom-style quasi-round-table-talk with (some of ) my family to revisit & review not only where we are now but also what the journey of the past 6 years has looked like for us, collectively and individually.

Surviving suicide loss is anything but easy -but doing it together helps.
In this episode, I chat with: 
G.R. - my husbandParker - my youngest childAubrie - Parker's long-time girlfriend. (they are both 24 years old)Jennifer- my best friend of 20 years. We talked about:  
The day Alex died - the feelings, the fog, the chaos The weeks that followed - survival, hyper-vigilance & moreThe years leading up to now - how we survived, began to reengage in life, & now, how we are rebuilding from here... …and I think it was enlightening as well as healing on some level for all of us. I hope you take something helpful - maybe even hopeful- from it as well.  I know I sure did! 
Also,  please reach out if you want to share a guest or topic idea for Season 4 - and I am always open to feedback if you have it! melissa@theleftoverpieces.com
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 My WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" support central  - MY HUB - and that means my different SUPPORT GROUP Options are available and much more will be coming in 2022 and 2023 "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You"

Go DIRECTLY to my SUPPORT page here where you will find ALL of the ways to connect and find support

My first two books (tools I am creating for you!) in the "Facing Life After Suicide" series are available on Amazon

If you, or someone you know, is struggling  with suicidal thoughts PLEASE reach out:
The National Suicide Lifeline is there for you OR CALL 988

In a crisis you can also TEXT--->
TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA
in Canada TEXT 686868
in the UK TEXT 85258
Support the show

Today I is one of my short, solo episodes where I "go down the rabbit hole" to talk about life after suicide loss. Specifically today I am talking about my life as I have intentionally, carefully cultivated it so that I can thrive after this unimaginable loss - in a life I never wanted and didn't ask for. This is a hard and brutal journey we are on but with support and tools and time - it's possible to learn to live again - even finding meaning and happiness.

The suicide loss of my son forever changed me, and it took support and cultivating with intention to rebuild a life that matches the new version of who I am. As with everything, know that the examples are from my life and my journey - take what serves you and simply leave the rest. I am sending you much love, light and peace as you make your way in this life after suicide loss - you are not alone! 

See the LINKS BELOW to my WEBSITE and all of the things "the Leftover Pieces;" ARE YOU A MOM looking to rebuild after suicide loss and thinking of writing a book, or starting a legacy project - get info on my upcoming 2023 M.OM.s Mastermind HERE

If you, or someone you know would like to be considered for the podcast, please email me at melissa@theleftoverpieces.com
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 My WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" support central  - MY HUB - and that means my different SUPPORT GROUP Options are available and much more will be coming in 2022 and 2023 "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You"

Go DIRECTLY to my SUPPORT page here where you will find ALL of the ways to connect and find support

My first two books (tools I am creating for you!) in the "Facing Life After Suicide" series are available on Amazon

If you, or someone you know, is struggling  with suicidal thoughts PLEASE reach out:
The National Suicide Lifeline is there for you OR CALL 988

In a crisis you can also TEXT--->
TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA
in Canada TEXT 686868
in the UK TEXT 85258
Support the show

Today I am sharing my thought-provoking conversation with mom and author A.S. King (aka Amy to friends).  She shares about her daughter Gracie who died by suicide in Dec. of 2018. She openly talks about the duality of being a public speaker who advocates for teen mental health and is a champion for teens' voices in general AND that she is also a mom who lost her child amidst her advocacy and openness...because suicide happens, 

Amy speaks her mind and this "tell-it-like-it-is" host thinks that is admirable. I wish more people were willing to have this type of unguarded, honest chat...there is a LOT to take away from today.
"A.S. King is an award-winning author for young people and is the recipient of the 2022 Margaret A Edwards award which recognizes an author's work in helping adolescents become aware of themselves and addressing questions about their role and importance in relationships, society, and in the world. Amy is a faculty member of the Writing for Children and Young Adults MFA program at Vermont College of Fine Arts and spends many months of the year traveling the world speaking to high school and university students, educators, and humans who care about the mental health of young people. After more than a decade of living self-sufficiently and teaching literacy to adults in Ireland, she now lives in Pennsylvania." 
You will hear Amy and I talk about:
The loss of her daughter Gracie to suicide in  Dec. 2018Our immense need for trauma-informed "everyone" in our world todaySuicide is normal- how we create stigma where it needn't be From banned books to banned mental health care initiatives - where we are getting it all wrong & the current climate we have is only making it worse!Suicide prevention may be "sexy" but why do suicide loss survivors understand it's NOT where our attention should be - the real path forward to less suicideTeenagers are real people who deserve real respect & not just be labeled & dismissed (& are often mostly smarter than us so-called grown-ups)There is so much more trauma to deal with than most will admit - we need to start listening and healing Learn more at www.as-king.com 
(P.S... that award-winning author part is serious - go buy her books, she's amazing!)
Find her on Social media - Instagram and Twitter

Find other good stuff and links here--->>> Good Stuff and Links
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 My WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" support central  - MY HUB - and that means my different SUPPORT GROUP Options are available. Go DIRECTLY to my SUPPORT page here where you will find ALL of the ways to connect and find support. My first two books (tools I am creating for you!) in the "Facing Life After Suicide" series are available on Amazon

If you, or someone you know, is struggling  with suicidal thoughts PLEASE reach out:
The National Suicide Lifeline is there for you OR CALL 988

In a crisis, you can also TEXT--->
TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA
in Canada TEXT 686868
in the UK TEXT 85258
Support the show

It is my honor to share my conversation with Amber Carroll of "Team Jake" today.  She speaks so bravely - and so boldly - as a sister who lost her precious brother, her best friend, to suicide on January 2, 2019. On that day she says her whole world changed and that she will never be the same person. She shares with me who Jake was and how he still inspires her today. After finding his journals, she became inspired to use his words to help others who are struggling - including herself. This is a touching story for siblings but also for anyone who has lost someone by suicide. 

Here's a bit about Amber:

"Amber Carroll is a broadcast journalist based out of California and co-founder and President of the non-profit, We Are Team Jake. After losing her brother, Jake, to suicide in 2019, she became a mental health awareness and suicide prevention advocate.
She is an avid traveler, living in close to 12 states, a dedicated runner, and a huge sports fan. Amber is also a Certified Life Coach focusing on helping people write their own stories."

Find TEAM JAKE HERE

Find Amber & Team Jake on Instagram HERE

Find the "I Love You and So Do Others" PODCAST HERE

Find them on TWITTER HERE as well

About the Podcast: The “ I  Love You and So Do Others Podcast” is a unique outlet providing various resources, contacts, groups, and events surrounding mental health! The I Love you and So Do Others Podcast is intended for a mature audience. Episodes discuss topics that can be triggering. I am not a licensed therapist or a medical professional. I have no medical license or professional counseling license. The opinions expressed by those on this show are their own and do not reflect the views of myself or We Are Team Jake. Thank you so much for listening to the I Love You and So Do Others Podcast.
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 My WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" support central  - MY HUB - and that means my different SUPPORT GROUP Options are available. Go DIRECTLY to my SUPPORT page here where you will find ALL of the ways to connect and find support. My first two books (tools I am creating for you!) in the "Facing Life After Suicide" series are available on Amazon

If you, or someone you know, is struggling  with suicidal thoughts PLEASE reach out:
The National Suicide Lifeline is there for you OR CALL 988

In a crisis, you can also TEXT--->
TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA
in Canada TEXT 686868
in the UK TEXT 85258
Support the show

Today I share an amazing story about how one mom dug deep into her broken mom's heart and honored her child.  We talk about the common feeling and challenges that unite all of us that have had our lives shattered by suicide but we also honor the uniqueness that is each of our children.

WATCH "Scattering CJ" ALL month on PBS in your area OR stream any time right from the
WEBSITE HERE

Hallie Twomey carries a burden of guilt surrounding her 20-year-old son CJ’s death which has molded her into a life of advocacy. She turns to her husband John and son Connor for support both emotionally and physically but also knows that helping others, helps her. Hallie labors through her guilt by talking openly and honestly, as often as possible, to anyone that will listen. She shares in raw detail about the nightmare CJ’s death has left behind in hopes that his story may help prevent others from following in his footsteps.


Scattering CJ was an idea born out of Hallie’s need to do something more for her son. Although it was her idea, to begin with, it would not have been possible without the full support of both John and Connor. Over the past 8 years, all three have opened themselves to this journey and trusted that it was the right decision. They collectively agree that CJ’s journey on this planet wasn’t over and that his 'larger than life personality should travel far and wide. They are all humbled and honored by the response Scattering CJ has received and owe a debt of gratitude to all those who now consider themselves a part of the Scattering CJ community.

WATCH "Scattering CJ" ALL month on PBS in your area OR stream any time right from the
WEBSITE HERE

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 My WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" support central  - MY HUB - and that means my different SUPPORT GROUP Options are available. Go DIRECTLY to my SUPPORT page here where you will find ALL of the ways to connect and find support. My first two books (tools I am creating for you!) in the "Facing Life After Suicide" series are available on Amazon

If you, or someone you know, is struggling  with suicidal thoughts PLEASE reach out:
The National Suicide Lifeline is there for you OR CALL 988

In a crisis, you can also TEXT--->
TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA
in Canada TEXT 686868
in the UK TEXT 85258


Support the show

Today I speak with a dad who lost his son to suicide. Michael Hicks knows that dads grieve too but they do not talk about it nearly as much as moms. Michael shares his story, and his feelings, to help break that norm and alleviate the stigma around men and showing their emotions.  If we are going to see a real change in how men approach mental health and a correlating decrease in men ending their own lives, we have to have these conversations. We have to have brave vulnerability as Mike shows in telling his story. This is a very powerful episode.

Find Michael (along with Jolee and Sienna) at HicksStrong HERE
Meet my challenge by DONATING HERE to help Soldiers get the help they need
Here is a write-up he shared with me about Macoy that I think should be shared - 
US NAVY ABH AN Macoy Austin Daniel Hicks
 
Aviation Boatswain Mate Airman Macoy Hicks joined the Navy upon graduating from High School in 2017. His first duty assignment after basic training was to Joint Base Anacostia-Bolling, Washington, D.C. to the prestigious Naval Ceremonial Guard. It was a significant honor for Macoy to be selected for training with the Ceremonial Guard whose primary mission is to represent the service in Presidential, Joint Armed Forces, Navy, and other public ceremonies in and around the nation's capital. Among its most solemn duties is to provide honor guards for naval funerals at Arlington National Cemetery.
 
Thousands of funerals are held every year at Arlington, with between 30 to 40 funerals a day during the week and 6 to 8 on weekends. Military funeral guards are referred to as "missions" to help the guard detach emotionally. But many cannot detach as was the case for Macoy, who was haunted by the repeated sorrow he witnessed. He was later transferred to the USS Nimitz but his PTSD combined with a traumatic brain injury, followed by personality changes, insomnia, depression, and fruitless visits to Navy mental health providers, left him feeling like nobody in the sea service cared about him.
 
On February 11, 2019, Macoy Hicks died by suicide while in naval custody. He was twenty years old. To honor their son and brother and to ensure that military service personnel and families have greater access to mental health providers the Hicks family created the non-profit HicksStong Inc. The organization provides funding for active-duty military service personnel and veterans who wish to be linked with qualified and confidential therapists. Speaking on behalf of her family, Macoy's sister, Sienna states "I believe he is proud of us... Macoy's suffering will not be in vain; even after the abrupt end of his own, he is saving lives."
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 My WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" support central  - MY HUB - and that means my different SUPPORT GROUP Options are available. Go DIRECTLY to my SUPPORT page here where you will find ALL of the ways to connect and find support. My first two books (tools I am creating for you!) in the "Facing Life After Suicide" series are available on Amazon

If you, or someone you know, is struggling  with suicidal thoughts PLEASE reach out:
CALL 988
OR, you can also TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA
in Canada TEXT 686868
in the UK TEXT 85258
Support the show