The Leftover Pieces: Suicide Loss Conversations

Melissa Bottorff-Arey
  • 4.9 (76)
  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • WEEKLY SERIES

Suicide loss changes everything. The Leftover Pieces® Podcast explores life after suicide through honest conversations with survivors, experts, and grieving parents learning to live forward after unimaginable loss. Parents, partners, siblings, and friends share what it means to keep living when the world has been forever changed. Hosted by Melissa Bottorff-Arey, whose 21-year-old son Alex died by suicide in 2016, the show blends intimate conversations with survivors, healers, and mental health professionals with short solo reflections you can actually use. Together we explore child loss, trauma and nervous-system care, anniversaries and seasons, stigma, faith and meaning, legacy, and the everyday practices that help make life livable again. At its heart, this podcast is about learning to live forward after loss. We never move on from the people we love, but we can learn to carry the grief differently. This road can feel incredibly lonely—but you are not alone here. For supporters, educators, and professionals, these conversations also offer insight into the realities of suicide grief and what genuine, non-fixing support can look like. If you’d like to share your story or expertise, you can request to be a guest through Melissa’s website. 💜 Content Note This podcast speaks candidly about grief and suicide loss and may feel activating for some listeners. We avoid graphic descriptions and discussion of suicide methods. Please care for yourself as needed. Melissa is not a doctor or licensed therapist, and nothing shared here should be considered medical or mental-health advice.

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  1. EPISODE 1

    Year Ten of Grief: A Quiet Return and the Bridges We Build

    A Quiet Return: Ten Years of Grief and the Bridges We Build After an unexpected, unplanned two-month pause, Melissa returns to The Leftover Pieces Podcast with a quiet and honest reflection on what it means to reach the ten-year mark after losing her son Alex to suicide. So, as she says, this wasn’t a planned break. But as the calendar turned toward a full decade of living without her child, something in Melissa needed to slow down, reflect, and listen more closely to what this next season of grief — and this next season of the podcast — might look like. In this relaunch episode, Melissa shares openly about the weight of long-term grief, the ways child loss continues to shape identity even many years later, and the realization that healing doesn’t mean leaving our children behind. She also reflects on a powerful dream that helped her understand the guiding word that arrived at the beginning of the year: bridge — a symbol of learning to live forward while still carrying everything that matters. This episode marks the beginning of a new chapter for the podcast. In the months ahead, Melissa will be leaning into deeper conversations about what grief looks like beyond the early years, especially for bereaved mothers navigating the long road of life after child loss. Upcoming episodes will include: • conversations with mothers further along in their grief journeys  • reflections on identity, resilience, and rebuilding life after loss  • honest discussions about the parts of grief that rarely get talked about once the world assumes we’re “better”  • continued support for those navigating suicide loss and traumatic child loss Whether you are early in your grief or many years down the road, this season will explore what it truly means to live forward while carrying the love and memory of those we’ve lost. As always, take what serves you… and leave the rest. Resources & Support If you are looking for additional support after suicide loss, or you are a bereaved mother navigating life after traumatic child loss, you can explore coaching, writing support, and grief resources at: www.theleftoverpieces.com Melissa offers: • one-on-one grief coaching  • support for mothers navigating child loss  • guidance for those who feel called to write or share their loved one’s story  • resources for suicide loss survivors and families Support the show __________________________________________________________________________ 💜 The Leftover Pieces is support for life after suicide loss. Click links below 🎙 Leave me a message: Share a question, your story, or your person’s name for a future episode → theleftoverpieces.com/voicemail  🔗 Stay connected: Join my email community for weekly support, resources, and honest conversations.  🛠 Start here: Explore website for suicide loss resources for early grief, family support, and next steps.  🤝 For moms: One-on-one grief coaching for mothers navigating life after child loss. 📞 Need support right now? If you or someone you love is struggling, call or text 988 (U.S. & Canada), or text HOME to 741741.

    19 min
  2. When the Mind Breaks: A Mother, A Doctor, and the Reality of Psychosis

    EPISODE 2

    When the Mind Breaks: A Mother, A Doctor, and the Reality of Psychosis

    In this episode, I’m joined by Colleen Kraft—a pediatrician of 36 years and a mother of three—who shares the story of her son Tim, who died by suicide in February of 2022 at the age of 31. Tim’s journey included late-onset schizophrenia, beginning with early psychosis in his late twenties. Together, we explore what it looks like to love someone through serious mental illness, the challenges families face within the mental health system, and the difficult reality of navigating care when answers are limited. Colleen brings both her medical insight and her lived experience as a mother into this conversation, helping us better understand psychosis, its impact, and why it can lead to dangerous or unpredictable outcomes. We also talk about the questions so many of us carry after loss—the what ifs, the unknowns—and how we begin to move forward while still holding love, grief, and connection. This conversation is both informative and deeply human—offering insight, validation, and a reminder that you are not alone. Resources mentioned in this episode: Schizophrenia and Psychosis Action Alliance https://sczaction.org/ Podcast: Schizophrenia: Three Moms in the Trenches https://schizophrenia3momsinthetrenches.buzzsprout.com/ Norway’s Patient Pathways for Mental Health & Substance Use https://www.helsenorge.no/en/psykisk-helse/patient-pathway-for-mental-health-and-substance-abuse/ EPI-NET (Early Psychosis Intervention Network) https://nationalepinet.org/ Children and Screens: Digital Media & Youth Mental Health (Free Handbook) https://www.childrenandscreens.org/newsroom/news/children-and-screens-announces-groundbreaking-handbook-on-digital-medias-impact-on-children-and-adolescents/ Book: The Wild Edge of Sorrow by Francis Weller  Support the show __________________________________________________________________________ 💜 The Leftover Pieces is support for life after suicide loss. Click links below 🎙 Leave me a message: Share a question, your story, or your person’s name for a future episode → theleftoverpieces.com/voicemail  🔗 Stay connected: Join my email community for weekly support, resources, and honest conversations.  🛠 Start here: Explore website for suicide loss resources for early grief, family support, and next steps.  🤝 For moms: One-on-one grief coaching for mothers navigating life after child loss. 📞 Need support right now? If you or someone you love is struggling, call or text 988 (U.S. & Canada), or text HOME to 741741.

    49 min
  3. Do We Ever Stop Grieving?: Life After Suicide Loss and the Truth No One Tells You

    EPISODE 3

    Do We Ever Stop Grieving?: Life After Suicide Loss and the Truth No One Tells You

    Do we ever stop grieving after losing a child to suicide?  In this episode, we go 'down the rabbit hole' to explore the reality of long-term grief after suicide loss and what happens after the initial survival years.  Many grieving mothers find themselves asking “what now?” after the first few years, when support fades but the grief remains. This episode introduces a new way of understanding grief—not as something to overcome, but something we learn to live with as we rebuild our identity, our life, and our sense of meaning after loss.  If you’re searching for answers about life after suicide loss, ongoing grief, or how to move forward after losing a child, this episode begins that conversation.  n this episode, we talk about:  The truth about whether grief ever “ends” after suicide loss  Why surviving the first few years is not the same as learning to live again  The difference between grief and healing—and why both matter  The “now what?” space that often comes after the early years of loss  That child loss and suicide loss fundamentally change who we are  That this loss means we must rebuild your life, identity, and sense of self after loss  Why this year (season) of Down the Rabbit Hole episodes will focus on living forward—not just surviving A gentle reminder: If you’re early in your grief, this conversation may feel heavy. You are not meant to have this all figured out right now.  Survival is enough in the beginning. This episode is here to offer perspective—not pressure. Take what serves you, leave the rest. 🎙️ Want to share something with me? I’ve created a space where you can leave me a voice message— whether it’s a question, something you’re carrying, or just saying your loved one's name -- I am here for you & it would be my honor to hear from you. Your message may help shape a future episode, and you can always remain anonymous - just let me know at the beginning or end of your message 🎙 Leave a message here:  🔗 theleftoverpieces.com/voicemail Support the show __________________________________________________________________________ 💜 The Leftover Pieces is support for life after suicide loss. Click links below 🎙 Leave me a message: Share a question, your story, or your person’s name for a future episode → theleftoverpieces.com/voicemail  🔗 Stay connected: Join my email community for weekly support, resources, and honest conversations.  🛠 Start here: Explore website for suicide loss resources for early grief, family support, and next steps.  🤝 For moms: One-on-one grief coaching for mothers navigating life after child loss. 📞 Need support right now? If you or someone you love is struggling, call or text 988 (U.S. & Canada), or text HOME to 741741.

    25 min
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About

Suicide loss changes everything. The Leftover Pieces® Podcast explores life after suicide through honest conversations with survivors, experts, and grieving parents learning to live forward after unimaginable loss. Parents, partners, siblings, and friends share what it means to keep living when the world has been forever changed. Hosted by Melissa Bottorff-Arey, whose 21-year-old son Alex died by suicide in 2016, the show blends intimate conversations with survivors, healers, and mental health professionals with short solo reflections you can actually use. Together we explore child loss, trauma and nervous-system care, anniversaries and seasons, stigma, faith and meaning, legacy, and the everyday practices that help make life livable again. At its heart, this podcast is about learning to live forward after loss. We never move on from the people we love, but we can learn to carry the grief differently. This road can feel incredibly lonely—but you are not alone here. For supporters, educators, and professionals, these conversations also offer insight into the realities of suicide grief and what genuine, non-fixing support can look like. If you’d like to share your story or expertise, you can request to be a guest through Melissa’s website. 💜 Content Note This podcast speaks candidly about grief and suicide loss and may feel activating for some listeners. We avoid graphic descriptions and discussion of suicide methods. Please care for yourself as needed. Melissa is not a doctor or licensed therapist, and nothing shared here should be considered medical or mental-health advice.

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