What do you do when your child has been to treatment over 30 times and nothing seems to work? Many parents eventually lose hope because they're exhausted, terrified, and have been told that tough love is the only answer. In this episode of the Recovery Through Relationship series, Heather talks with Sheree Stillwell, whose son struggled with substance use disorder for more than twenty years. During that time he experienced homelessness, repeated treatment attempts, trauma, relapse, and years of uncertainty. Through it all, Sheree discovered an approach that transformed not only her relationship with her son, but her own life. Instead of trying harder to control him, she learned how to become a safe person he could call when he was struggling. Today, both mother and son describe themselves as being in recovery. This conversation is a powerful reminder that recovery doesn't always happen on a straight timeline and that healing can begin long before everything looks the way we hoped it would. Whether your loved one is actively using substances, in treatment, in recovery, or somewhere in between, this episode offers hope, compassion, and practical wisdom for families navigating addiction. In This Episode Why traditional "tough love" advice never felt right to Sheree The emotional toll addiction takes on parents and families How CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training) and Invitation to Change transformed her relationship with her son Why changing herself, not trying to fix her son, became the turning point The role of trauma in substance use disorder and why asking "What happened?" changes everything How harm reduction helped keep her son alive long enough for recovery to become possible Why recovery after multiple relapses and treatment attempts is still possible A Quote Worth Remembering "Mom, through everything, you were the only person I knew would always be there." Key Takeaways Recovery rarely follows the timeline we expect.Parents don't have to choose between enabling and abandoning their child. There is another path, one built on compassion, connection, healthy boundaries, and evidence-based approaches.When parents begin healing themselves, relationships often begin to change as well.Hope doesn't have an expiration date. Resources Mentioned • CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training) • Invitation to Change • Motivational Interviewing • Harm Reduction • Families Recover Together (online family support community) • Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Illinois About the Recovery Through Relationship Series For decades, families have been told that love, support, and staying connected to a child struggling with substance use is enabling, and that tough love is the only path to recovery. The Recovery Through Relationship series shares a different perspective through honest conversations with parents whose relationships became a powerful part of their family's healing. While every recovery journey is different, these stories offer hope, practical wisdom, and evidence that connection can create opportunities for change. Resources from Sheree Stillwell Families United Overcoming Addiction & Families Recover Together Support Group https://www.facebook.com/share/g/18xpw9vYzs/ Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Illinois (GRGIL) https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1bymGgR9N8/ Resources From Heather Ross Coaching If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with Heather using the link below. https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery The truth about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you! https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/ How to leave a podcast review https://www.youtube.com/shorts/5xkPZM8mj-E
