The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

Robyn Gobbel

Formerly the Parenting after Trauma podcast, internationally recognized children's mental health expert Robyn Gobbel decodes the most baffling behaviors for parents of kids with vulnerable nervous systems. If you're parenting a child who has experienced trauma or toxic stress or a child with a neuroimmune disorder, sensory processing, or other nervous system vulnerability, this show will let you know you are not alone. You can stop playing behavior whack-a-mole because Robyn offers you tools that actually work. You can become your child's expert, feel more confident as a parent, and bring more connection and clarity into your family.Educators, therapists, coaches and consultants- you too can learn all about what behavior really is and become more effective at helping the families you support. You can love your work again!

  1. 1D AGO

    REPLAY: Oppositional And Defiant Behavior- Part 1

    What if oppositional behavior is a normal response to feeling unsafe? In this episode, we unfold the layers of oppositional behavior and its roots in the nervous system. We look into the diagnostic complexities of Oppositional Defiant Disorder and dive into how our own state of the nervous system is important in helping our children navigate their Watchdog and Possum pathways. In this episode you’ll learn: That even oppositional behaviors make total senseSpending a lot of time in protection mode is hard on the bodyChanging the behavior is not the goal- regulation, connection, and felt safety isThe diagnosis of Oppositional Defiance Disorder is just a label- we have to stay curious about the causes for treatmentResources mentioned in this podcast: Start Here Podcasts - robyngobbel.com/starthereWhen Your Nervous System Is Fried {Ep 139}Focus On The Nervous System To Change Behavior {Ep 84}Connection or Protection {Ep 7}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppositional1 Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub ::: Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

    47 min
  2. 5D AGO

    REPLAY: Felt Safety (Between) Part 3

    Cues of safety, danger, or life threat come from three places- inside, outside, and between. In part 3 of this series on felt safety, we are exploring felt safety from between- from relationship! In this episode, you’ll learn How availability of connection is a cue of safety or dangerHow neuroception can tell the state of the other person’s nervous system (connection or protection?)Why nervous systems are contagiousHow ‘between’ cues of safety eventually become ‘inside’ cues of safetyHow you can increase your own experience of safety even when you are parenting children in stuck in chronic procession modeDownload a multi-page infographic all about felt safety: RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub Resources mentioned in this podcast: Connection Or Protection??? {Ep 7}When Your Nervous System Is Fried {Ep 139}Influence Behaviors, Not Control {Ep 101}Amanda Diekman’s Book! - Low-Demand ParentingRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetybetween Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub ::: Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

    49 min
  3. DEC 17

    REPLAY: Felt Safety (Outside) Part 2

    In this second episode of a three-part series on felt safety, we are going to explore all the ways our kids (and ourselves) are neuroceiving safety or danger from what’s happening in the environment. In this episode, you’ll learn Misconceptions about felt safetyExternal (outside) cues of felt safety, such as the environment, sensory experiences, structure, and environmental demandsWhat we do with this informationFree Multi-Page Infographic all about Felt Safety! CLICK HERE Resources mentioned in this podcast: What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {Ep 81}Focus On The Nervous System To Change Behavior {Ep 84}Connection Or Protection??? {Ep 7}Marti’s Book! - The Connected TherapistRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetyoutside Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub ::: Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

    41 min
  4. DEC 15

    REPLAY: Felt Safety (Inside) - Part 1

    Let’s go back to basics! Last week we talked about seeing behavior through the lens of the nervous system and then took a deep-dive into co-regulation. FREE Downloadable Infographic all about Felt Safety! RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetyinfographic This week begins a three-part deep-dive into the foundational concept of felt safety. What is felt safety, what isn’t felt safety, and why it matters! Next we will explore the many different ways we are all neuroceiving safety (or not) from our inner world. In this episode, you’ll learn Misconceptions about felt safetyInternal cues of felt safety, such as hunger, illness, or being in chronic protection modeWhat we do with this information Resources mentioned in this podcast: Focus On the Nervous System to Change Behavior {Ep 84}What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {Ep 81}Connection or Protection??? {Ep 7}Enabling Vs. Low-Demand Parenting {Ep 144}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetyinside Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub ::: Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

    47 min
  5. DEC 8

    EP 247: 5 Tips from our Top 5 Episodes for our 5th Birthday!

    To celebrate our 5th birthday, I gathered 5 tips from our top 5 episodes. I’m revisiting important take-aways from episodes about boundaries, oppositional behavior, and how parenting kids with a vulnerable nervous system is traumatic.  Each of these episodes have a free downloadable infographic! You can find them all at RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub In this episode, you’ll learn What ‘boundary’ really mean (hint: it’s not about controlling anyone else’s behavior)What kind of boundary you need if you have a child who struggles with verbal aggression (psychological boundary!)What’s driving oppositional behavior (and therefore, what do we need to focus on to change it)What types of experiences lead to parenting becoming traumatic Resources mentioned in this podcast: Free Resource Hub RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/5tips Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub ::: Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

    56 min
  6. DEC 2

    EP 246: Helping Kids Tolerate Shame and Talk about Mistakes

    Ever notice how some kids just cannot talk about hard things- especially if it’s about their own mistakes or ‘bad’ behavior? Maybe they melt down the second you bring it up… or shut down completely. Let’s unpack what’s really going on when kids refuse to talk about mistakes or anything that feels “bad.” You’ll learn why their brain might be protecting them from feelings that are just too much - and how you can gently help them build the capacity to feel bad and still be okay. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why refusing to talk about hard things isn’t defiance—it’s protectionWhat’s happening in the brain when a child remembers something painful or shame-filledHow to scaffold conversations about mistakes using stories, characters, and your own modelingThe difference between avoiding hard conversations from connection mode versus protection mode Resources mentioned in this podcast: Resources included in the blog summary go here Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/talkaboutmistakes Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub ::: Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

    36 min
  7. NOV 25

    EP 245: Can't Wait!!! Frustration Tolerance and Delayed Gratification

    Does your child get stuck in “buy me, buy me, buy me!” mode? Or maybe they melt down when they can’t have what they want right now? I know it seems selfish, manipulative, or even bratty- but we want to put on our x-ray vision goggles and get curious about WHY.  In this episode, we’ll unpack why delayed gratification and frustration tolerance are Owl Brain skills.  You’ll learn how to grow your child’s capacity to wait, tolerate disappointment, and handle “no” without losing connection (and without losing your mind).  In this episode, you’ll learn: Why delayed gratification and frustration tolerance depend on a strong Owl BrainHow to make waiting concrete without turning it into a reward systemWhy connection and co-regulation- not consequences- grow real frustration tolerance Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/cantwait Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub ::: Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

    34 min
  8. NOV 18

    EP 244: When Watchdogs are Volcanoes: Activation below the Surface

    Is your child suddenly quiet… but you can feel something bubbling under the surface? They aren’t yelling, running, or arguing like usual- but you can tell their system is still fired up and on high alert. Today, we’re talking about that “quiet volcano” version of watchdog energy. It looks calm. Still. Almost possum-like. But inside? Their nervous system is holding a TON of activation right under the surface. In this episode, you’ll learn how to tell the difference between true shutdown and contained watchdog energy, why some kids start holding everything inside, and how to help that “stuck” activation soften and move in safe, co-regulated ways. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why watchdog energy can go quiet and look totally still, even though it’s NOT regulatedHow to figure out what’s really going on underneath the “calm” exteriorWhat to do when your child is a volcano on the inside, including simple movement-based strategies that help the nervous system come back into rhythm and relational safety Read the full transcript at:  RobynGobbel.com/volcanoes Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub ::: Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

    36 min
4.8
out of 5
240 Ratings

About

Formerly the Parenting after Trauma podcast, internationally recognized children's mental health expert Robyn Gobbel decodes the most baffling behaviors for parents of kids with vulnerable nervous systems. If you're parenting a child who has experienced trauma or toxic stress or a child with a neuroimmune disorder, sensory processing, or other nervous system vulnerability, this show will let you know you are not alone. You can stop playing behavior whack-a-mole because Robyn offers you tools that actually work. You can become your child's expert, feel more confident as a parent, and bring more connection and clarity into your family.Educators, therapists, coaches and consultants- you too can learn all about what behavior really is and become more effective at helping the families you support. You can love your work again!

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