2 Pastors and a Mic

Hill City

Unfiltered, unedited, and uncommon thoughts from 2 pastors figuring it out as they go.

  1. 3D AGO

    272. Godly Thought Or Trauma Response - Self-Reliance vs Shared Life

    In this episode of Two Pastors and a Mic, we tackle something that rarely gets questioned—but is often praised in church culture: self-reliance. You know the person… the one who handles everything, never asks for help, always shows up, carries the weight, and pushes through no matter what. We call them strong. Faithful. Dependable. But what if constantly carrying everything alone isn’t actually strength? What if it’s a trauma response? In this conversation, Cory and Channock unpack the deeper roots of self-reliance—how it can be driven by fear of being a burden, fear of being let down, or a deep desire to feel needed, valued, and accepted. They also get honest about their own struggles with this, from “Superman syndrome” to workaholism to the tension of expecting others to match what you give. But the heart of this episode is the shift from self-reliance to shared life—the kind of life Jesus modeled and the early church embodied through “one anothering” each other well. If you’ve ever said “I’ve got it,” when you really didn’t… this episode is for you. In this episode: Why self-reliance often gets praised as spiritual maturity The hidden roots: fear, rejection, loneliness, and control The emotional cost of carrying everything alone How self-reliance can actually block connection What Jesus modeled instead: shared life and mutual support A powerful question to ask: Am I meant to carry this alone? Practical steps to start letting people in 00:00 - Welcome + Podcast Intro 00:40 - Series Overview: Godly Thought or Trauma Response 01:35 - Today’s Topic: Self-Reliance 02:17 - Why Self-Reliance Gets Praised 02:52 - Roots of Self-Reliance (People-Pleasing, Rejection, Loneliness) 04:04 - Personal Struggle: Superman Imposter Syndrome 05:16 - The “Should” Trap + Emotional Tension 06:19 - When Others Don’t Meet Your Expectations 07:11 - Hard Question: Not Asking for Help 07:57 - Impatience + Doing It Alone 08:50 - Workaholic Tendencies + Selective Help 09:33 - “I’ve Got It” Mentality Explained 10:02 - Fear of Being a Burden or Let Down 10:40 - The Cost: Self-Reliance Blocks Connection 11:09 - Leadership Struggles + Fragilizing Others 12:05 - Growth Through Asking for Help (RElife Story) 14:12 - Why Asking for Help Is So Hard 15:01 - The Lie: Easier Doesn’t Mean Healthier 15:38 - The Shift: From Self-Reliance to Shared Life 16:25 - One Anothering: The Early Church Model 17:52 - You Were Never Meant to Do Life Alone 18:47 - Practical Step: Ask a Better Question 21:31 - Be Specific + Be Okay Hearing “No” 22:03 - Real Strength = Connection, Not Isolation 22:39 - Closing Encouragement

    23 min
  2. MAR 25

    271. Godly Thought Or Trauma Response - Peacekeeping vs Peacemaking

    In this episode of Two Pastors and a Mic, we talk about the difference between peacekeeping and peacemaking—and why those two things are not the same. A lot of us were taught that being “nice,” avoiding conflict, staying quiet, and keeping everyone comfortable was the godly way. But what if that’s not actually peace? What if it’s a trauma response dressed up as spirituality? We unpack how peacekeeping is often rooted in fear—fear of rejection, fear of conflict, fear of being misunderstood, fear of losing connection—and how it can slowly cause you to abandon your own voice, needs, and boundaries. Then we contrast that with the way of Jesus, who didn’t avoid tension, but entered it with truth, love, and a desire for restoration. If you’ve ever found yourself shrinking, avoiding hard conversations, or carrying the emotional burden of keeping everyone else okay, this conversation is for you. In this episode, we cover: The difference between peacekeeping and peacemaking Why peacekeeping often looks spiritual How fear drives conflict avoidance What Jesus modeled instead How to confront without escalating 4 practical steps toward real peacemaking 00:00 - Welcome + YouTube Growth & Appreciation 01:03 - Why This Podcast Matters Right Now 01:43 - Series Intro: Godly Thought or Trauma Response 03:00 - Today’s Topic: Peacekeeping vs Peacemaking 03:40 - What Jesus Meant by Peacemakers (Not Peacekeepers) 04:11 - Signs of Peacekeeping (People-Pleasing & Avoidance) 05:02 - Why Peacekeeping Gets Praised 05:50 - Fear at the Root of Peacekeeping 06:40 - How Peacekeeping Makes You Disappear 07:32 - Real-Life Example: Family Tension & Boundaries 08:36 - Leadership Struggles: Avoiding Hard Conversations 09:45 - Fragilizing: Walking on Eggshells 10:29 - Self-Perception vs How Others See You 11:39 - Fear of Hurting Others vs Fear of Losing Connection 12:44 - Why Fragilizing Hurts Growth 13:59 - Tension: When to Confront vs When Not To 15:13 - Jesus Example: Confronting Without Escalating 16:03 - What True Peacemaking Looks Like 16:48 - Peacekeepers vs Peacemakers (Clear Differences) 17:39 - Why This Leads to Healing (Not Just Harmony) 17:59 - Practical Steps to Become a Peacemaker 19:09 - Step 1: Admit Specifics 19:34 - Step 2: Avoid Excuses 20:00 - Step 3: Accept Consequences 20:18 - Step 4: Ask for Forgiveness 20:53 - Closing + Next Episode Teaser

    21 min
  3. MAR 18

    270. Godly Thought Or Trauma Response - False Humility vs Worthiness

    In this episode of Two Pastors and a Mic, we kick off our new series asking a powerful question: Is this a godly thought… or a trauma response? And we start with one of the most common (and sneaky) ones in church culture: false humility. For many of us, what we’ve called “humility” is actually self-rejection. We’ve been trained to downplay our gifts, deflect compliments, and avoid affirmation—all in the name of being “spiritual.” But what if that’s not humility at all? What if it’s insecurity… fear… or even internalized shame? In this episode, we unpack where false humility comes from, why it feels safe, and how it may actually be robbing you of confidence, identity, and freedom... Why deflecting compliments isn’t humility How church culture often trains us to think less of ourselves The difference between humility and self-rejection Why false humility can disconnect you from your identity What Jesus actually modeled (confidence, security, and truth) A simple practice to begin breaking this pattern: just say “thank you” If you’ve ever struggled to receive affirmation, celebrate yourself, or believe good things about who you are… this conversation will hit close to home. 00:00 - Welcome + Podcast Intro 01:31 - Hill City Invite + New Galatians Series 01:52 - Deflecting Compliments (Real-Time Example) 02:07 - New Series: Godly Thought or Trauma Response? 03:27 - Why These Patterns Look Spiritual 04:08 - Topic: False Humility vs Worthiness 05:00 - Why We Deflect Compliments 06:09 - What We Were Taught About Humility 07:12 - You Are Worthy (Reframing Identity) 08:34 - Pendulum Swing: Pride vs Self-Rejection 09:16 - False Humility Robs Confidence 09:50 - Church Teachings That Shape Low Self-Worth 11:03 - Internalized Shame Disguised as Humility 12:14 - Jesus Restores Identity, Not Self-Hate 14:28 - What’s Underneath? (Counseling Lens) 15:10 - Fear of Disappointment + Staying Small 16:19 - What True Humility Actually Is 18:33 - Affirmation Builds Security, Not Pride 19:18 - Learning to Celebrate Yourself 20:04 - Why False Humility Feels Safe 20:55 - Simple Practice: Just Say “Thank You” 22:00 - Letting Goodness Land Internally 22:50 - Final Encouragement + Closing

    24 min
  4. MAR 11

    269. Three Reason Churches Unintentionally Reward Survival Patterns

    In this episode of Two Pastors and a Mic, we kick off a brand new conversation about something many Christians never stop to question: what if some of the behaviors we’ve called “spiritual maturity” are actually survival patterns? We talk about three reasons churches often unintentionally reward unhealthy patterns, not because leaders are malicious, but because many of us were formed by the same systems ourselves. From self-shrinking that looks like humility, to overworking that looks like sacrifice, to people-pleasing that looks like love, this episode sets the stage for a deeper series on trauma responses disguised as godliness. If you’ve ever wondered whether a certain response in your life is actually healthy… or just familiar… this episode is for you. In this conversation, we cover: Why survival behaviors can look like spiritual maturity How churches often reward what keeps systems stable Why many leaders unknowingly reinforce the same unhealthy patterns they were taught How Jesus modeled security, wholeness, boundaries, and honesty Why healing is not about becoming less spiritual, but more honest This episode is a bridge into a new series where we’ll unpack common Christian behaviors and ask: is this actually godly, or is it a trauma response? 00:00 - Intro & Podcast Updates 01:03 - Indiana Sports Talk 02:20 - The 2:6 Life Recap 02:58 - New Series: Godly Thought or Trauma Response? 03:54 - Why Churches Reward Survival Patterns 04:58 - Reason 1: Survival Behaviors Look Spiritual 09:53 - Reason 2: Churches Reward What Keeps Things Stable 11:53 - Reason 3: Leaders Were Formed by the Same Patterns 15:23 - Jesus as the Model of Secure Wholeness 16:25 - The Real Question: Survival or Spirituality? 16:57 - Why This Series Matters 18:27 - Next Week: False Humility & Receiving Affirmation 20:31 - Closing Encouragement

    21 min
  5. MAR 4

    268. Is Reconstruction Harder Than Deconstruction?

    In this episode of Two Pastors and a Mic, we wrap up our deconstruction/reconstruction mini-series with a question a lot of people ask: Which one is harder—deconstruction or reconstruction? We start with a little Nashville recap, then we get honest about what this journey actually feels like in real life. One of the biggest takeaways: the “harder vs. easier” question might not even be the right lens. The better questions are: What am I building now? What am I a part of? And is it beautiful? We talk about why reconstruction can feel heavier—because there’s no blueprint, growth becomes less visible, freedom requires discernment, and you’re often doing deep internal work that nobody can see. But we also talk about the hope on the other side: steadiness, less fear, more humility, more peace, and a clearer vision of a Jesus who gets bigger and brighter as you go. If you’re in the middle space—unsure, rebuilding, or feeling alone—you’re not crazy. You’re not losing faith. You’re being formed. In this episode: Deconstruction vs. reconstruction (and why it’s not a simple comparison) Why reconstruction feels slower, heavier, and more internal The “no blueprint” reality—and the challenge of freedom The question that filters everything: Is it beautiful? What this season is forming in you (righteousness, peace, joy) Why safe people matter when you’re rebuilding 00:58 - Red Wings vs Predators jersey drama 03:14 - Why Cory came in hot + wrapping the 26 Life mini-series 04:49 - Big question: Which is harder—deconstruction or reconstruction? 05:43 - Deconstruction as demolition (and the tension of “throw it all out”) 06:33 - Deconstruction felt powerless, stuck, uncertain 07:52 - Clarifying “powerful”: disruption vs the fallout of “now what?” 08:12 - Cottage renovation analogy: nostalgia, attachment, and letting things go 10:21 - Aha moments, permission, and finding language in deconstruction 12:41 - Why reconstruction can feel heavier: nuance, layers, reconciliation 14:30 - David & Goliath example: living without forced answers 16:40 - Moving from “what’s wrong?” to “what am I building now?” 17:29 - The filter question: Is it beautiful? (making Jesus look beautiful) 18:12 - Why reconstruction is hard: no blueprint—only freedom 19:31 - Freedom requires vulnerability, discernment, and rethinking practices 20:50 - Growth becomes less visible: internal change, slower reactions, steadiness 22:56 - Reconstruction as deeper work: character, posture, openness to God 24:53 - The importance of safe people to process with (and time gaps in growth) 25:57 - Plot twist: “harder” is the wrong question—what is this season forming in you? 27:14 - Kingdom markers: righteousness, peace, joy as the real measuring stick 27:41 - Next week teaser: Christianese as trauma responses (5-part framework) 29:05 - Closing: “You’re loved and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

    29 min
  6. FEB 25

    267. When Your Theology Changes But Your Relationships Haven't

    In this episode of Two Pastors and a Mic, Cory and Channock tackle one of the hardest parts of growth: what happens when you change…but the people around you don’t. If you’ve gone through deconstruction, started holding your beliefs more loosely, or found yourself living with more nuance, you’ve probably felt the tension at the dinner table—Do I speak up? Stay quiet? Change the subject? Because the truth is, most of the time the tension isn’t even theological… it’s relational. They talk honestly about why your growth can feel threatening to others (even when you’re not trying to change anyone), the unspoken agreements relationships can be built on, and the three common temptations that show up in this season: shrinking, proving, or withdrawing. From there, they give five practical tools to help you stay connected without losing yourself—how to lead with curiosity, stop managing other people’s reactions, and build safe spaces where you don’t have to translate your entire journey just to be understood. If you’ve felt misunderstood, exhausted, or tempted to pull back from the people you love, this one is for you. In this episode: Why the tension isn’t theological—it’s relational The 3 temptations: shrink, prove, withdraw 5 practical tools for staying connected while you grow When distance is wisdom (boundaries, not punishment) Staying grounded in who you’re becoming 00:00 - Welcome Back + Quick Banter 00:45 - Share the Episode + 26 Life Theme (1 John 2:6) 01:34 - Recap: Deconstruction, Stuck Seasons, Staying Tender 02:20 - Recap: Rebuilding Trust (Brené Brown’s BRAVING) 02:50 - Recap: Living Without Certainty (The Sin of Certainty) 03:22 - Today’s Topic: When You Change but Others Don’t 04:08 - The Real Tension: Family, Friends, and Staying Connected 05:08 - When People Speak in Absolutes + You Feel Misunderstood 06:17 - Dinner Table Moment: Speak Up, Stay Quiet, or Shift Topics? 07:30 - It’s Not Theological—It’s Relational Risk 09:20 - When Your Shift Feels Threatening to Others 10:16 - Unspoken Agreements: “We’ve Always Believed This” 11:34 - 3 Temptations: Shrink, Prove, or Withdraw 12:15 - Temptation 1: Shrinking to Keep the Room Calm 13:16 - Temptation 2: Proving It (Over-explaining, Articles, Debates) 14:01 - Temptation 3: Withdrawing Fully (Exhaustion + New Language) 16:06 - 5 Practical Tools for Connection (Overview) 17:23 - Tool 1: Decide What’s Worth Discussing (Hill vs Habit) 19:42 - Tool 2: Lead With Curiosity, Not Correction 20:36 - Tool 3: Let Go of Being Understood Immediately 21:45 - Tool 4: Stop Managing Their Reaction 22:20 - Tool 5: Build New Safe Spaces (Relational Oxygen) 23:27 - When Distance Is Wise (Boundaries, Not Punishment) 24:42 - Stay Grounded in Who You’re Becoming 27:11 - Next Week: Reconstruction vs Deconstruction (Which Is Harder?) 27:44 - Hockey Sidebar: Team USA Beats Canada + “Won It for Johnny” 28:37 - Closing: You’re Loved (Nothing You Can Do About It)

    29 min
  7. FEB 18

    266. Living Faith Without Needing Certainty

    In this episode of Two Pastors And A Mic, we tackle one of the hardest (and most freeing) parts of the faith journey: what it looks like to follow Jesus without needing to be certain about everything. A lot of us were formed in environments where certainty = faith… where having the “right answer” felt like safety, belonging, and control. But when deconstruction (or just honest questions) starts pulling at those threads, it can feel like you’re losing your footing—even when you’re actually gaining clarity. So we talk about the sin of certainty, why black-and-white theology feels stabilizing, and why learning to live in the “gray” isn’t weakness—it might actually be the strongest version of faith. We unpack: Why uncertainty often feels like “stuckness” (Stuck 2.0) How seminary trained many of us to respond instead of think A real-time example of cognitive dissonance (who actually killed Goliath?) The difference between certainty and trust 3 practical ways to live a faith that stays present, relational, and curious Why questions don’t mean you’re losing faith—they might mean you’re growing If you’ve ever thought, “If I’m not sure… am I still a Christian?” — this one’s for you. 👇 Drop a comment: What’s one area where you’re learning to hold faith without needing certainty? 00:00 - Welcome Back + Like/Subscribe 01:19 - Quick Recap: The “26 Life” + Deconstruction Series 03:16 - Today’s Topic: Faith Without Certainty 03:48 - “The Sin of Certainty” + Learning/Unlearning/Relearning 04:55 - Uncertainty = Stuck 2.0 (Why It Feels So Hard) 05:48 - Seminary Training: Answers Over Nuance 07:18 - “How to Respond” vs “How to Think” 08:25 - Why Black-and-White Feels Safer Than Gray 09:35 - Who Killed Goliath? A Real-Time Certainty Test 11:20 - Apologetics Reframed: Defending Your Life, Not Arguments 12:56 - Why Dogmatism (Even About Grace) Is a Trap 13:15 - Losing Certainty Feels Like Losing Footing 14:30 - Certainty Impacts Emotional Security + Belonging 15:32 - Certainty as Control + Fear of Uncertainty 17:46 - Cognitive Dissonance: Why We Double Down 20:06 - Uncertainty: Losing Control, Gaining Freedom 20:55 - Certainty vs Trust (Answers vs Relationship) 22:07 - Faith Without Certainty: 3 Practices 22:12 - Stay Present Instead of Forcing Conclusions 23:01 - Let Relationship Lead Before Explanation 23:47 - Choose Curiosity Over Defensiveness 25:02 - Identity Attachment: Why Disagreement Feels Personal 26:06 - Signs You’re Growing: Calm, Curious, “I Don’t Know” 27:57 - Presence Over Proof + Belonging Over Being Right 28:30 - When Beliefs Shift, Relationships Strain 29:32 - You’re Not Losing Faith—You’re Carrying It Differently 30:12 - Next Week Tease: Navigating Relationships When You Change 30:35 - Closing: You’re Loved (Nothing You Can Do About It)

    31 min
  8. FEB 11

    265. Rebuilding Trust Through B.R.A.V.I.N.G.

    In today’s conversation, we’re talking about something almost everyone has to rebuild at some point—trust. If you’ve been dismissed, disappointed, shunned, or wounded by church culture, you know how quickly trust can fracture… not just with people, but with yourself and even with God. So we break it down like a three-legged stool: ✅ rebuilding trust with others ✅ rebuilding trust with yourself ✅ rebuilding trust with God And then we get super practical by unpacking Brené Brown’s “BRAVING” framework—a simple but powerful way to name exactly what was broken, so you can actually rebuild it with clarity (instead of vague “I just don’t trust you anymore” statements). Drop a comment: Which part of trust is hardest for you to rebuild—trusting others, trusting yourself, or trusting God? 00:00 - Welcome + quick housekeeping (reviews, sharing) 02:57 - The “2:6 Life” theme for 2026 (1 John 2:6) 03:35 - Recap: deconstruction, stuckness, and staying tender 04:18 - Today’s focus: rebuilding trust (self, others, God) 05:24 - The “three-legged stool” of trust (how each affects the others) 06:02 - Why trust matters: you weren’t meant to live isolated 07:01 - Trust in church spaces: “You don’t have to trust us” + earning trust 08:05 - Trust is rebuilt through experience, not explanation 09:28 - What betrayal/broken trust actually breaks (and why wording matters) 13:15 - Nuance: disagreement vs dishonor vs relationship removal 15:27 - Layer 1: rebuilding trust with leaders/communities 16:24 - Layer 2: rebuilding trust with yourself (discernment + red flags) 17:29 - Layer 3: rebuilding trust with God (prayer, numbness, expectations) 18:57 - What trust is (and what trust is NOT) 20:13 - Introducing Brené Brown’s “BRAVING” framework 21:34 - B — Boundaries (doors with hinges, not walls) 22:54 - R — Reliability (do what you say you’ll do) 23:50 - A — Accountability (own it, apologize, make amends) 24:44 - V — Vault (confidentiality + why it matters) 29:34 - I — Integrity (values in action, courage over comfort) 29:59 - N — Non-judgment (ask for what you need without shame) 30:29 - G — Generosity (most generous interpretation / benefit of the doubt) 31:39 - BRAVING recap + why specificity helps rebuild trust 32:02 - Next week teaser: living faith without certainty (“the sin of certainty”) 32:21 - Closing encouragement + “you’re loved” outro

    34 min
4.8
out of 5
139 Ratings

About

Unfiltered, unedited, and uncommon thoughts from 2 pastors figuring it out as they go.

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