The Work of Being Human

Vanessa Bentley
  • 4.8 (81)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

This is a podcast about facing truth in a world that keeps offering better-sounding lies. We talk about the ideas people organize their lives around—spiritually, psychologically, relationally, and culturally—and what those ideas actually do to real human beings when lived out. Some episodes lean clinical, some philosophical, some cultural, some theological—but the backbone is the same: human beings heal when we face reality and embrace our humanity. We believe Truth is discoverable, and orienting our lives around it — that's the Work of Being Human.

  1. 5d ago

    LEVELS OF HEALING: Why Feeling Better Isn't the Only Goal

    Most people think therapy is about reducing anxiety, managing depression, or learning better coping skills. Those things matter—but they're only the beginning. In this episode, I walk through the four levels of healing that I believe every person should understand. From symptom relief and emotional regulation to personality reorganization and the restoration of personhood, I explain how healing deepens over time and why every stage serves a purpose. I'll help you identify where you are in your own journey, what growth looks like at each level, and how to know whether your current therapeutic work is helping you move forward. Along the way, I share personal stories from my own healing, discuss the importance of secure attachment, explain why some therapists are equipped for deeper work than others, and describe why I believe the highest aim of therapy is not simply symptom management—but the restoration of the human person. Whether you're currently in therapy, considering it, or simply interested in understanding yourself more deeply, I hope this conversation gives you both a roadmap and hope. In this episode we discuss: The four levels of healing and how they build on one another Why symptom relief is only the beginning Emotional regulation, boundaries, and changing the way we think How trauma shapes personality—and how personality can change Secure attachment and what it actually feels like Why deep healing requires patience, trust, and skilled guidance The difference between changing your behavior and restoring your personhood Why I believe the goal of therapy is to help us become fully human As always, healing begins by facing reality and embracing our humanity. Follow Vanessa: https://www.instagram.com/vanessathetherapist/ Follow the show: https://www.instagram.com/theworkofbeinghuman/

  2. Jul 13

    FINALLY FREE FROM YOUR PAST: Survival Isn't Who You Are

    Why do some regrets stay with us for years while others seem to fade? Why do guilt and shame continue to shape the way we see ourselves long after the moment has passed? In this episode, I explore why survival often changes us, how the strategies that once protected us can become our identity, and what it actually takes to make peace with our past. Freedom doesn't come from denying what happened, excusing ourselves, or pretending we're over it. It comes from facing reality honestly while embracing our humanity. Together, we'll explore the difference between guilt and shame, why they're often confused, and how learning to separate our actions from our identity creates space for responsibility, compassion, forgiveness, and lasting freedom. If you've ever wondered whether your worst moments define you—or if you're carrying guilt or shame you can't seem to put down—this episode offers a practical way to begin making peace with your past. In this episode: The difference between guilt and shame Healthy shame versus toxic shame How childhood survival strategies become lifelong habits Why your coping mechanisms are not your identity How to make peace with your past without denying it Why facing reality and embracing our humanity leads to freedom Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vanessathetherapist/ Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/theworkofbeinghuman/ Send us an email: admin@vanessabentley.co

  3. Jul 6

    THERAPY ISN'T ENOUGH: The Missing Half of Mental Health - with Courtney Grimes

    What if anxiety and depression aren't always the problem—but symptoms of something deeper? In this conversation, I sit down with psychotherapist and founder of The Collective, Courtney Grimes, LCSW, to explore a dimension of healing that our mental health system often overlooks: social health. We talk about why so many people make tremendous progress in therapy, only to "face plant" when they return to their everyday lives. Healing isn't just about understanding yourself—it's about learning how to thrive in relationships, families, workplaces, and communities that don't revolve around you. Together, we explore: Why loneliness may be one of the biggest drivers of anxiety and depression. The difference between mental health and social health. Why therapy should prepare us for real life—not just the therapy room. How to build resilience without living in an echo chamber. Why disagreement isn't the same thing as danger. The growing problem of emotional cutoffs, polarization, and tribal thinking. How healthy boundaries allow us to stay connected without losing ourselves. Why true resilience requires agency, adaptability, and the courage to engage with people who see the world differently. If you've ever wondered why healing sometimes feels incomplete, this episode offers a compelling answer: we don't just heal as individuals—we heal as members of a community. The work of being human isn't simply becoming healthier ourselves. It's learning how to be healthy with other people. Have a show idea? Send us an email! admin@vanessabentley.co

  4. Jun 29

    LESSONS LEARNED from Yellowstone National Park

    What if better mental health has less to do with controlling life and more to do with encountering reality? After returning from Yellowstone and Grand Teton National Parks, I realized this wasn’t just a vacation—it was an education. The wilderness exposed habits I carry every day: chasing experiences, avoiding fear, relying on quick answers, and comparing reality to expectations. Along the way, nature became one of my greatest teachers. In this episode, I share four unexpected lessons from the American West that changed how I think about courage, anxiety, presence, and the way we navigate life: Borrow courage when fear isn't telling you the truth.Stop chasing experiences and start encountering reality.Learn to read a trustworthy map instead of depending on someone else's GPS.Stop comparing life to the pictures and experience it for yourself.We also explore why social media fuels anxiety, how efficiency can become an emotional escape, what Yellowstone taught me about worldview, and why true mental health requires orienting ourselves to reality—not fighting it. Sometimes the greatest lessons don't come from a therapist's office. Sometimes they come from mountains, rivers, silence... and a moose at a boat dock. In this episode, we'll tackle: Why fear isn't always realityThe difference between tourists and travelersHow chasing experiences robs us of presenceWhat Yellowstone taught me about anxiety and comparisonWhy your worldview is the "map" you live byHow nature points us toward humility, truth, and GodWhy mental health begins by orienting ourselves to realityIf this episode encouraged you, I'd love for you to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who could use a fresh perspective on what it means to live well.

  5. Jun 22

    How To Do Your Own Work When Therapy Isn't Working

    You've been to therapy. You've read the books. You've tried to "work on yourself." So why are you still stuck? In this episode of The Work of Being Human, I break down the psychology of healing through a fictional client named "Scott." Together, we'll explore: ✓ Original wounds✓ Negative belief systems✓ Coping mechanisms✓ Defense mechanisms✓ People pleasing and self-abandonment✓ Anxiety and emotional suppression✓ How to uncover the real source of your suffering This episode is for anyone who has ever wondered: "Why do I keep doing this?" The answer may not be in your symptoms. It may be hidden in the story you've been living since childhood. Therapy can help. But understanding yourself changes everything. If this episode resonates with you, subscribe and share it with someone who needs it. TRUTH heals us.REALITY grounds us.And HUMANITY is where truth and reality meet. This is The Work of Being Human. Follow the show: https://www.instagram.com/theworkofbeinghuman/ Want to request a topic? Email us at admin@vanessabentley.co

  6. Jun 15

    What a VETERAN THERAPIST Thinks After 50 Years: Dr. Jeffery Smith

    What does fifty years of psychotherapy teach you about human nature?In this fascinating conversation, veteran therapist Dr. Jeffrey Smith joins me to explore what really happens in therapy—and why so many people remain stuck despite years of trying to change.We talk about the difference between good therapy and what Dr. Smith jokingly calls "How ya doin' therapy"—the kind of pleasant conversation that never quite touches the deeper work. We explore resistance, the role of painful emotions in healing, and why real growth often requires us to face the very feelings we've spent our lives avoiding.Dr. Smith introduces his concept of the "inner mind"—the deeply protective, survival-oriented part of ourselves that forms early in life and can quietly shape our decisions decades later. We discuss how trauma, deprivation, and old survival strategies become entrenched patterns, and how therapy helps bring these unconscious processes into awareness.We also dive into one of the most misunderstood aspects of psychotherapy: attachment to the therapist. What happens when clients long for a parent they never had? Can therapy repair those wounds? Where are the limits of the therapeutic relationship—and why are those limits actually part of healing?Along the way, we discuss:• Why discomfort is often evidence that therapy is working• The difference between conscience and an internalized rule book• Why adults absolutely do have needs• How our nervous systems drive behavior more than we realize• Why therapists must resist the temptation to become saviors• The healing power of being deeply known by another human beingThis episode is an invitation to stop running from difficult emotions and begin approaching them with curiosity, courage, and compassion.Because sometimes the work of being human is simply this:To tell the truth about what hurts—and discover that you can survive it.

  7. Jun 8

    INCOMPATIBLE: Where Modern Psychology and Christianity Collide

    This episode starts with a simple question: What exactly is a human being? Not what are our symptoms. Not what's our diagnosis. Not what's our attachment style. What are we? The more time I spend in the field of psychology, the more I realize something important: psychology is very good at describing pain. It's somewhat capable of helping people heal. But when it comes to personhood—to human dignity, worth, identity, and why any of it matters—it gets strangely quiet. So in this episode, I'm comparing two very different views of what it means to be human: modern psychology and Christianity. One sees us primarily as biological, psychological, and social organisms. The other says we're something much more. We're going to talk about identity, consciousness, human nature, suffering, healing, and the question underneath all of it: Why does a human being have dignity in the first place? Because if therapy helps people reclaim their personhood—and I believe it does—then sooner or later we have to ask where personhood came from. It's a little philosophical. It's a little theological. It's definitely psychological. And if you're willing to think with me for an hour, I think you'll find the question is far more important than it first appears. Write us a message about the podcast: https://www.vanessabentley.co/contact This podcast is: Produced: Jared Bentley and Madison Thompson Music: Vanessa Bentley Arrangement: Winston Philip

  8. Jun 1

    TRAUMA: What It Actually Is (And How to Really Heal)

    Trauma is one of the most misunderstood concepts in modern mental health. In this episode, I challenge the idea that every painful experience is trauma and offer a clear, reality-based framework for understanding what trauma actually is, how it changes us, and what genuine healing requires. Drawing parallels between physical injury and psychological injury, we'll explore why trauma is more than pain, disappointment, or hardship. Trauma creates damage. It alters how we see ourselves, other people, and the world around us. You'll learn: • What distinguishes trauma from normal suffering • Why trauma changes our perception of reality • The connection between trauma, shame, fear, and fragmentation • Why healing requires expansion rather than avoidance • Why wisdom is essential when rebuilding trust and relationships• The five stages of trauma recovery: Stabilize Name Grieve Integrate Reconnect I'll offer you a definition of trauma that sits at the center of the conversation:"Trauma is the forced contraction of human personhood under overwhelming conditions, which leads to fundamental changes in one's perception of reality." Whether you're working through your own trauma, supporting someone who is, or simply trying to understand the human experience more deeply, this episode offers practical insight, compassion, and hope. If this conversation resonates with you, please like, subscribe, and share it with someone who may benefit. Produced and Edited by Jared Bentley Music by Vanessa Bentley Arranged by Winston Philip Recorded in Nashville, TN Follow me on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vanessathetherapist/ Follow the show: https://www.instagram.com/theworkofbeinghuman/ Send us an email on content you want to see: admin@vanessabentley.co

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4.8
out of 5
81 Ratings

About

This is a podcast about facing truth in a world that keeps offering better-sounding lies. We talk about the ideas people organize their lives around—spiritually, psychologically, relationally, and culturally—and what those ideas actually do to real human beings when lived out. Some episodes lean clinical, some philosophical, some cultural, some theological—but the backbone is the same: human beings heal when we face reality and embrace our humanity. We believe Truth is discoverable, and orienting our lives around it — that's the Work of Being Human.

Information

  • Creator
    Vanessa Bentley
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2026
  • Episodes
    199
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Vanessa Bentley
  • Show Website
    The Work of Being Human

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