The Locked up Living Podcast: Surviving and thriving in prisons and other challenging environments

Podcasters David Jones & Dr Naomi Murphy

Can institutional culture challenge your mental health? What if your job makes you feel shame, sadness, grief, disgust and fear? What if you are expected not to feel? Or you are expected to be relentlessly competitive? What it’s like to live or work in a prison? Does working with people who commit murder, child abuse and rape affect people who work in prisons and the wider criminal justice system? How do people survive and thrive when facing significant challenges to our emotional health over a lengthy period? How do we protect ourselves and stay compassionate, loving and trusting? Importantly, how do we find and preserve hope? Fyodor Dostoevsky wrote that “The degree of civilisation in a society can be judged by entering its prisons”. In this weekly podcast ,your hosts, David Jones (Forensic psychotherapist) and Dr Naomi Murphy (Consultant Clinical & Forensic Psychologist) hope that exploring less visible aspects of prisons will help listeners see that prisons are a window into society and let us see people not only at their worst but also at their best. We feature a rich range of guests sharing snap shots of life in prisons and take a look at hospitals, schools, sport and the police in order to learn from other institutions. We learn about challenges to human integrity and hear important lessons and heart-warming stories about survival and growth when facing adversity in harsh places. We hope that sharing our conversations can help you make changes to your own relationship with institutions that might challenge your emotional health and well-being. Follow and connect with us and give us feedback. Let us know what you think works, and also what doesn’t. We want you to look forward to the podcast each week. We’ll also be extremely grateful for any reviews that you give us. A simple star or two or a thumbs up will do. Email: lockedupliving@gmail.com or connect with us on: Substack: https://lockedupliving.substack.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/LockedUpLiving Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/naomimurphypsychologist/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-jones-41910b12/ Insta: https://www.instagram.com/lockedupliving/

  1. 6d ago ·  Video

    Joseph Millson (Video); How Abuse Shapes a Life—and How Stories Help Us Survive

    In this conversation Naomi Murphy and David Jones are joined by Joseph Millson, actor, writer, filmmaker and singer, currently appearing in The Phantom of the Opera in London’s West End. He’s also the author of Miller Rose Roberts, a novella that moves between psychological realism and something more mysterious while exploring trauma, memory, identity, love, and recovery. In this conversation, Joseph talks about why creativity matters to wellbeing, how writing became a kind of journaling for him, and why he prefers ambiguity over neat explanations. They also discuss resilience, grief, anger, motherhood, and the role storytelling can play in making sense of painful experience. Key topics In this episode, Joseph argues that creativity is not reserved for artists, because everyone uses creative thinking in some form, from mechanics to doctors to chefs. He shares the “right hand and left hand” idea: one side of life handles rent, family, and responsibilities, while the other side protects creative expression and imagination. Joseph explains why actors often feel the urge to move into writing and directing, because acting is usually interpreting someone else’s story rather than telling their own. We discuss how writing, especially journaling, can function as emotional processing even when no one else ever reads it. Joseph describes Miller Rose Roberts as a seven chapter novella built around seven year cycles, with the protagonist revisited at ages 7, 14, 21, 28, and beyond. He shares how the book blends realism with magical realism, including the recurring ringing in Miller’s ears that becomes an instruction to walk away. They talk about ambiguity in art and why Joseph prefers not to over explain mental health, grief, or the meaning of Miller’s experiences. Joseph reflects on writing female characters, saying he is fascinated by women’s experiences and by people who carry pain privately rather than sharing it. The conversation also touches on anger management, emotional numbness, and the idea that people need an outlet for grief and pain instead of suppressing it. Joseph closes by explaining how actors can access deep emotion safely through imagination, scaffolding, and play, without relying on unhealthy emotional recall. Timestamps 00:00 - Introducing Joseph Milson and the themes of creativity and wellbeing 00:37 - Why creative work and day jobs often coexist 01:37 - The “right hand and left hand” model of creative life 03:33 - Why acting is a uniquely difficult art form 04:32 - Writing as mental health support between auditions 05:57 - Creativity as something everyone does 07:47 - Why Signs of Life emerges from struggle 08:13 - How Joseph moved from acting into writing and directing 09:14 - Work and Other Four Letter Words and the value of self-reflection 10:33 - Lockdown, screenwriting, and the start of Signs of Life 11:33 - Grief, kindness, and the idea behind the film 12:58 - Why actors eventually want to tell their own stories 15:41 - Journaling as a form of creative processing 18:42 - Writing from a woman’s perspective 22:30 - The caravan park, the name Miller Rose Roberts, and the book’s origin 23:55 - Seven year cycles and the structure of the novella 24:49 - Tinnitus, the desert, and the magical realist premise 26:51 - Leaving space for multiple interpretations 29:29 - Grief, psychosis, and privacy as a defense mechanism 30:36 - Anger management and the need for emotional outlets 32:15 - Plant medicine, journaling, and looking at what hurts 33:39 - Writer’s block and finding the ending 35:08 - Why Joseph chose to write a novella rather than a full novel 37:02 - Stephen King’s influence and Joseph’s admiration for novella length 38:12 - Why resilience is hard to explain and impossible to reduce 41:12 - Motherhood, loss, and the book’s emotional core 44:08 - The deliberate use of “the mother” as a distancing device 46:46 - Researching the 1980s, cigarettes, and period detail 48:24 - Storytelling as a way of healing and narrating our lives 50:42 - How actors protect themselves when working in deep emotional territory Notable quotes “The mistake are mistake. Something a lot of creatives do is put their creative life over here and everything else over there.” “I believe my creative work is my journaling.” “Art is a question mark.”

  2. 6d ago

    Joseph Millson (Audio); How Abuse Shapes a Life—and How Stories Help Us Survive

    In this conversation Naomi Murphy and David Jones are joined by Joseph Millson, actor, writer, filmmaker and singer, currently appearing in The Phantom of the Opera in London’s West End. He’s also the author of Miller Rose Roberts, a novella that moves between psychological realism and something more mysterious while exploring trauma, memory, identity, love, and recovery. In this conversation, Joseph talks about why creativity matters to wellbeing, how writing became a kind of journaling for him, and why he prefers ambiguity over neat explanations. They also discuss resilience, grief, anger, motherhood, and the role storytelling can play in making sense of painful experience. Key topics In this episode, Joseph argues that creativity is not reserved for artists, because everyone uses creative thinking in some form, from mechanics to doctors to chefs. He shares the “right hand and left hand” idea: one side of life handles rent, family, and responsibilities, while the other side protects creative expression and imagination. Joseph explains why actors often feel the urge to move into writing and directing, because acting is usually interpreting someone else’s story rather than telling their own. We discuss how writing, especially journaling, can function as emotional processing even when no one else ever reads it. Joseph describes Miller Rose Roberts as a seven chapter novella built around seven year cycles, with the protagonist revisited at ages 7, 14, 21, 28, and beyond. He shares how the book blends realism with magical realism, including the recurring ringing in Miller’s ears that becomes an instruction to walk away. They talk about ambiguity in art and why Joseph prefers not to over explain mental health, grief, or the meaning of Miller’s experiences. Joseph reflects on writing female characters, saying he is fascinated by women’s experiences and by people who carry pain privately rather than sharing it. The conversation also touches on anger management, emotional numbness, and the idea that people need an outlet for grief and pain instead of suppressing it. Joseph closes by explaining how actors can access deep emotion safely through imagination, scaffolding, and play, without relying on unhealthy emotional recall. Timestamps 00:00 - Introducing Joseph Milson and the themes of creativity and wellbeing 00:37 - Why creative work and day jobs often coexist 01:37 - The “right hand and left hand” model of creative life 03:33 - Why acting is a uniquely difficult art form 04:32 - Writing as mental health support between auditions 05:57 - Creativity as something everyone does 07:47 - Why Signs of Life emerges from struggle 08:13 - How Joseph moved from acting into writing and directing 09:14 - Work and Other Four Letter Words and the value of self-reflection 10:33 - Lockdown, screenwriting, and the start of Signs of Life 11:33 - Grief, kindness, and the idea behind the film 12:58 - Why actors eventually want to tell their own stories 15:41 - Journaling as a form of creative processing 18:42 - Writing from a woman’s perspective 22:30 - The caravan park, the name Miller Rose Roberts, and the book’s origin 23:55 - Seven year cycles and the structure of the novella 24:49 - Tinnitus, the desert, and the magical realist premise 26:51 - Leaving space for multiple interpretations 29:29 - Grief, psychosis, and privacy as a defense mechanism 30:36 - Anger management and the need for emotional outlets 32:15 - Plant medicine, journaling, and looking at what hurts 33:39 - Writer’s block and finding the ending 35:08 - Why Joseph chose to write a novella rather than a full novel 37:02 - Stephen King’s influence and Joseph’s admiration for novella length 38:12 - Why resilience is hard to explain and impossible to reduce 41:12 - Motherhood, loss, and the book’s emotional core 44:08 - The deliberate use of “the mother” as a distancing device 46:46 - Researching the 1980s, cigarettes, and period detail 48:24 - Storytelling as a way of healing and narrating our lives 50:42 - How actors protect themselves when working in deep emotional territory Notable quotes “The mistake are mistake. Something a lot of creatives do is put their creative life over here and everything else over there.” “I believe my creative work is my journaling.” “Art is a question mark.”

  3. Sep 2

    Dr Beverley Samways (Audio); Why Self-Injury in Non-Speaking People Is Often Misread. Trauma Gets Missed in Learning Disability Care

    This conversation explores Dr Beverley Samways work with people with learning disabilities who have experienced trauma and use little or no spoken communication. The discussion focuses on how self-injury has often been misunderstood through behavioural frameworks, and why a more relational, trauma-informed approach can reveal what people are actually trying to communicate. It also covers the role of grief, culture, power, and co-regulation in care.Beverley Samways, founder of Unique Connections and author of Unspoken Stories, shares findings from her PhD and years of frontline work. Naomi Murphy and David Jones bring in their own clinical reflections, especially around psychodynamic practice, person-centred care, and the importance of really seeing the person in front of you. Unspoken Stories: Learning to Listen to People with Intellectual Disabilities who are Non-Speaking. https://pavpub.com/health-and-social-care/health-autism/unspoken-stories-learning-to-listen-to-people-with-intellectual-disabilities-who-are-non-speaking Key topics In this episode, Beverley explains how Unspoken Stories grew out of her PhD research with three teenagers who had learning disabilities, little or no speech, and histories of self-injury. She challenges the long-standing tendency to interpret self-injury in learning disability services mainly through applied behavioural analysis and “challenging behaviour.” Beverley argues that distress is often rooted in trauma, grief, attachment, and adverse experiences, not just immediate environmental triggers. She describes how, in her research, all three participants had trauma histories and all three eventually communicated more than they had on paper, despite being labelled non-verbal. Naomi reflects on her own shift from a behavioural placement into person-centred and sensory motor psychotherapeutic work, connecting Beverley’s account to Valerie Sinason’s influence. Beverley shares how communication happened differently with each young person, including drawing and writing with Cassie, and silent co-regulation and bodily attunement with Owen. The conversation returns repeatedly to the idea that people who do not speak still have a unique voice, and that listening long enough can reveal it. Beverley explains that many experiences become traumatic more easily for non-speaking people, especially hospital procedures, restraint, repeated transitions, and hidden grief. The episode also examines why care systems can become harmful, including the role of institutional culture, power, fear of emotion, and the pressure to keep people “happy.” Beverley describes how the sector is shifting slowly toward therapeutic and trauma-informed models, and how Unique Connections is trying to support that change one school and one team at a time. Timestamps (00:00) Introduction to Dr Beverly Samways and her work with trauma, learning disabilities, and non-speaking communication(01:30) How Unspoken Stories emerged from PhD research with three teenagers and their histories of self-injury(05:14) Why self-harm research shows similar patterns across geography and time(05:52) Beverley’s background in children’s social care, residential settings, and therapeutic training(08:47) The traditional behavioural approach to self-injury and why it can miss emotional meaning(14:08) How trauma exposure is much more common for people with learning disabilities, especially non-speaking people(17:09) Research methods that relied on time, presence, and psychodynamic attunement rather than words alone(19:11) How communication emerged differently with Cassie and Owen through drawing, silence, and co-regulation(21:08) Psychodynamic influences from Valerie Sinason, Anne Alvarez, and Frances Tustin(23:21) Naomi’s reflection on person-centred work and the surprise of what the research revealed(24:20) The most striking surprise: all three participants spoke in some form when given enough space and listening(27:09) Trauma in everyday care settings, including hospitals, restraint, transitions, and repeated moves(30:07) Why grief is often mistaken for trauma, and why emotional expression is frequently discouraged in care(32:34) Institutional history, deprivation of liberty, and the long shadow of segregation(34:59) How recovery depends on being seen, heard, and understood rather than treated as a behaviour problem(38:28) Bad actors, harmful systems, and why “bad apple” explanations are not enough(42:44) The emotional impact of the research on Beverley, including sustained sadness and changed assumptions(45:35) Unique Connections’ aims and the gradual move from behavioural models toward trauma-informed practice(48:20) How Beverley stays well through relationships, laughter, prayer, presence, and ordinary self-care Notable quotes “If we listen long enough, people will speak. Not necessarily with words, but everybody has something to say.” “We’re cutting out an enormous chunk of ordinary human functioning from the way that we are understanding somebody simply because they have a learning disability.”

  4. Sep 2 ·  Video

    Dr Beverley Samways (Video); Why Self-Injury in Non-Speaking People Is Often Misread. Trauma Gets Missed in Learning Disability Care

    This conversation explores Dr Beverley Samways work with people with learning disabilities who have experienced trauma and use little or no spoken communication. The discussion focuses on how self-injury has often been misunderstood through behavioural frameworks, and why a more relational, trauma-informed approach can reveal what people are actually trying to communicate. It also covers the role of grief, culture, power, and co-regulation in care.Beverley Samways, founder of Unique Connections and author of Unspoken Stories, shares findings from her PhD and years of frontline work. Naomi Murphy and David Jones bring in their own clinical reflections, especially around psychodynamic practice, person-centred care, and the importance of really seeing the person in front of you. Unspoken Stories: Learning to Listen to People with Intellectual Disabilities who are Non-Speaking. https://pavpub.com/health-and-social-care/health-autism/unspoken-stories-learning-to-listen-to-people-with-intellectual-disabilities-who-are-non-speaking Key topics In this episode, Beverley explains how Unspoken Stories grew out of her PhD research with three teenagers who had learning disabilities, little or no speech, and histories of self-injury. She challenges the long-standing tendency to interpret self-injury in learning disability services mainly through applied behavioural analysis and “challenging behaviour.” Beverley argues that distress is often rooted in trauma, grief, attachment, and adverse experiences, not just immediate environmental triggers. She describes how, in her research, all three participants had trauma histories and all three eventually communicated more than they had on paper, despite being labelled non-verbal. Naomi reflects on her own shift from a behavioural placement into person-centred and sensory motor psychotherapeutic work, connecting Beverley’s account to Valerie Sinason’s influence. Beverley shares how communication happened differently with each young person, including drawing and writing with Cassie, and silent co-regulation and bodily attunement with Owen. The conversation returns repeatedly to the idea that people who do not speak still have a unique voice, and that listening long enough can reveal it. Beverley explains that many experiences become traumatic more easily for non-speaking people, especially hospital procedures, restraint, repeated transitions, and hidden grief. The episode also examines why care systems can become harmful, including the role of institutional culture, power, fear of emotion, and the pressure to keep people “happy.” Beverley describes how the sector is shifting slowly toward therapeutic and trauma-informed models, and how Unique Connections is trying to support that change one school and one team at a time. Timestamps (00:00) Introduction to Dr Beverly Samways and her work with trauma, learning disabilities, and non-speaking communication(01:30) How Unspoken Stories emerged from PhD research with three teenagers and their histories of self-injury(05:14) Why self-harm research shows similar patterns across geography and time(05:52) Beverley’s background in children’s social care, residential settings, and therapeutic training(08:47) The traditional behavioural approach to self-injury and why it can miss emotional meaning(14:08) How trauma exposure is much more common for people with learning disabilities, especially non-speaking people(17:09) Research methods that relied on time, presence, and psychodynamic attunement rather than words alone(19:11) How communication emerged differently with Cassie and Owen through drawing, silence, and co-regulation(21:08) Psychodynamic influences from Valerie Sinason, Anne Alvarez, and Frances Tustin(23:21) Naomi’s reflection on person-centred work and the surprise of what the research revealed(24:20) The most striking surprise: all three participants spoke in some form when given enough space and listening(27:09) Trauma in everyday care settings, including hospitals, restraint, transitions, and repeated moves(30:07) Why grief is often mistaken for trauma, and why emotional expression is frequently discouraged in care(32:34) Institutional history, deprivation of liberty, and the long shadow of segregation(34:59) How recovery depends on being seen, heard, and understood rather than treated as a behaviour problem(38:28) Bad actors, harmful systems, and why “bad apple” explanations are not enough(42:44) The emotional impact of the research on Beverley, including sustained sadness and changed assumptions(45:35) Unique Connections’ aims and the gradual move from behavioural models toward trauma-informed practice(48:20) How Beverley stays well through relationships, laughter, prayer, presence, and ordinary self-care Notable quotes “If we listen long enough, people will speak. Not necessarily with words, but everybody has something to say.” “We’re cutting out an enormous chunk of ordinary human functioning from the way that we are understanding somebody simply because they have a learning disability.”

  5. Aug 26

    Mike Bell (audio); Boys Are Underachieving - Six Schools Proved It needn’t be so

    In this important conversation David Jones and Dr Naomi Murphy talk about why so many boys underachieve at school with Mike Bell. And why has so little research been done on this subject? Mike is a former science teacher, evidence-based teaching trainer, author of Fundamentals of Teaching, founder of the All-Party Parliamentary Group on Men and Boys issues, and lead researcher for the APPG’s 2023 inquiry into boys’ educational underachievement, explains the findings behind his latest book ‘Yes He Can’. He argues that boys’ underachievement is real, widespread, and not inevitable. (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Closing-Attainment-Boys-Secondary-School/dp/1041242158) We discuss the data behind the attainment gap, why the problem is most visible in secondary school, and what six British schools did to close the gap without extra resources or special training. Mike also challenges common assumptions about male teachers, toxic masculinity, and the causes of boys’ poor outcomes. Key topics Why Yes He Can is built largely from teacher transcripts and school practice, not theory The size of the attainment gap from school readiness through GCSEs, A levels, and university Why the gap narrows in primary school but widens again in secondary school How primary teachers’ close knowledge of pupils creates more individualised support The consequences of boys’ underachievement, including disengagement, NEET outcomes, and wider social costs Why some boys become hostile to school when they feel lost, punished, and misunderstood How school culture can become a place where boys actually want to come Why the research base is weaker than people assume, despite widespread concern Why Mike does not see male teacher shortages as the main explanation Why the schools he studied were effective because they shared intentions, not identical methods Timestamps (Approx) 00:00 - Technical setup and Mike Bell’s introduction 01:47 - What Yes He Can is about 03:27 - How the APPG inquiry led to the book 06:28 - The attainment gap from primary school to university 09:59 - Why secondary school widens the gap 11:30 - Social consequences of boys switching off 13:42 - Making school a place boys want to come to 15:16 - How school structure affects less able pupils 17:10 - Why boys were once seen as advantaged and girls as disadvantaged 18:57 - How the six schools were found and why primary practice mattered 20:26 - Why the research base on boys’ underachievement is so weak 23:33 - What the six successful schools had in common 24:58 - Why male teachers are not the key solution 26:58 - Why he rejects toxic masculinity as the root cause

  6. Aug 26 ·  Video

    Mike Bell (Video); Boys Are Underachieving - Six Schools Proved It needn’t be so

    In this important conversation David Jones and Dr Naomi Murphy talk about why so many boys underachieve at school with Mike Bell. And why has so little research been done on this subject? Mike is a former science teacher, evidence-based teaching trainer, author of Fundamentals of Teaching, founder of the All-Party Parliamentary Group on Men and Boys issues, and lead researcher for the APPG’s 2023 inquiry into boys’ educational underachievement, explains the findings behind his latest book ‘Yes He Can’. He argues that boys’ underachievement is real, widespread, and not inevitable. (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Closing-Attainment-Boys-Secondary-School/dp/1041242158) We discuss the data behind the attainment gap, why the problem is most visible in secondary school, and what six British schools did to close the gap without extra resources or special training. Mike also challenges common assumptions about male teachers, toxic masculinity, and the causes of boys’ poor outcomes. Key topics Why Yes He Can is built largely from teacher transcripts and school practice, not theory The size of the attainment gap from school readiness through GCSEs, A levels, and university Why the gap narrows in primary school but widens again in secondary school How primary teachers’ close knowledge of pupils creates more individualised support The consequences of boys’ underachievement, including disengagement, NEET outcomes, and wider social costs Why some boys become hostile to school when they feel lost, punished, and misunderstood How school culture can become a place where boys actually want to come Why the research base is weaker than people assume, despite widespread concern Why Mike does not see male teacher shortages as the main explanation Why the schools he studied were effective because they shared intentions, not identical methods Timestamps (Approx) 00:00 - Technical setup and Mike Bell’s introduction 01:47 - What Yes He Can is about 03:27 - How the APPG inquiry led to the book 06:28 - The attainment gap from primary school to university 09:59 - Why secondary school widens the gap 11:30 - Social consequences of boys switching off 13:42 - Making school a place boys want to come to 15:16 - How school structure affects less able pupils 17:10 - Why boys were once seen as advantaged and girls as disadvantaged 18:57 - How the six schools were found and why primary practice mattered 20:26 - Why the research base on boys’ underachievement is so weak 23:33 - What the six successful schools had in common 24:58 - Why male teachers are not the key solution 26:58 - Why he rejects toxic masculinity as the root cause

  7. Aug 19

    Kelly Edmondson (audio); Why Grief Support Fails When It Ends Too Soon

    David Jones and Naomi Murphy meet Kelly Edmondson, healthcare executive, former trauma ICU nurse, board certified grief counsellor, bereaved mother, and founder of Timely Presence. This is a very powerful and moving account as Kelly describes some of the tragic moments that have led to her founding of Timely Presence. Kelly shares how years in high-pressure care shaped her understanding of trauma, resilience, and human connection. She also explains how the death of her son Darius led her to build a milestone-based grief support model that helps people show up meaningfully long after the funeral. We discuss how grief changes over time, why people often struggle to support the bereaved, and the simple principles Kelly uses to help others stay present without saying the wrong thing. This is a deeply personal conversation about loss, purpose, and turning pain into practical support. Key topics Kelly Edmondson’s path from new graduate nurse in trauma ICU and burn care to grief counsellor and founder of Timely Presence What caring for patients at the edge of life taught her about fragility, resilience, and the value of relationships Why good clinicians should care deeply, while still maintaining enough emotional protection to keep functioning The moment a young quadriplegic patient and his children reshaped her sense of purpose in care How Kelly’s own family life and her son Darius’s death changed the way she saw grief, holidays, and time Why the holiday season can be especially painful for bereaved families, and how her family uses “reframing the ritual” The importance of saying a deceased person’s name, telling their stories, and keeping their legacy present How Timely Presence was born from a Mother’s Day weekend that turned a looming trigger into a meaningful, supported experience Why grief support is often front loaded around funerals, but the hardest moments usually come later The three R’s Kelly recommends for supporting someone who is grieving: regulate, respond, remain Timestamps 00:00 - Kelly Edmondson’s background in trauma care and grief support 01:39 - Entering trauma ICU and learning from life interrupted 04:44 - A young quadriplegic patient and the emotional weight of care 07:28 - Self-care habits that helped her stay grounded 09:48 - Parenthood, Christmas, and seeing grief through a caregiver’s eyes 13:51 - Reframing holiday rituals after the death of her son Darius 16:39 - Why talking about loss matters instead of avoiding it 21:31 - The Mother's Day weekend that inspired Timely Presence 24:58 - How Timely Presence works across the emotional calendar of grief 28:14 - Why people welcome structured grief support for difficult losses 30:56 - Advice for people going through loss and those trying to help 34:49 - The three R’s: regulate, respond, remain 37:46 - Closing reflections on Kelly’s story and legacy

  8. Aug 19 ·  Video

    Kelly Edmondson (Video); Why Grief Support Fails When It Ends Too Soon

    David Jones and Naomi Murphy meet Kelly Edmondson, healthcare executive, former trauma ICU nurse, board certified grief counsellor, bereaved mother, and founder of Timely Presence. This is a very powerful and moving account as Kelly describes some of the tragic moments that have led to her founding of Timely Presence. Kelly shares how years in high-pressure care shaped her understanding of trauma, resilience, and human connection. She also explains how the death of her son Darius led her to build a milestone-based grief support model that helps people show up meaningfully long after the funeral. We discuss how grief changes over time, why people often struggle to support the bereaved, and the simple principles Kelly uses to help others stay present without saying the wrong thing. This is a deeply personal conversation about loss, purpose, and turning pain into practical support. Key topics Kelly Edmondson’s path from new graduate nurse in trauma ICU and burn care to grief counsellor and founder of Timely Presence What caring for patients at the edge of life taught her about fragility, resilience, and the value of relationships Why good clinicians should care deeply, while still maintaining enough emotional protection to keep functioning The moment a young quadriplegic patient and his children reshaped her sense of purpose in care How Kelly’s own family life and her son Darius’s death changed the way she saw grief, holidays, and time Why the holiday season can be especially painful for bereaved families, and how her family uses “reframing the ritual” The importance of saying a deceased person’s name, telling their stories, and keeping their legacy present How Timely Presence was born from a Mother’s Day weekend that turned a looming trigger into a meaningful, supported experience Why grief support is often front loaded around funerals, but the hardest moments usually come later The three R’s Kelly recommends for supporting someone who is grieving: regulate, respond, remain Timestamps 00:00 - Kelly Edmondson’s background in trauma care and grief support 01:39 - Entering trauma ICU and learning from life interrupted 04:44 - A young quadriplegic patient and the emotional weight of care 07:28 - Self-care habits that helped her stay grounded 09:48 - Parenthood, Christmas, and seeing grief through a caregiver’s eyes 13:51 - Reframing holiday rituals after the death of her son Darius 16:39 - Why talking about loss matters instead of avoiding it 21:31 - The Mother's Day weekend that inspired Timely Presence 24:58 - How Timely Presence works across the emotional calendar of grief 28:14 - Why people welcome structured grief support for difficult losses 30:56 - Advice for people going through loss and those trying to help 34:49 - The three R’s: regulate, respond, remain 37:46 - Closing reflections on Kelly’s story and legacy

Ratings & Reviews

4.3
out of 5
3 Ratings

About

Can institutional culture challenge your mental health? What if your job makes you feel shame, sadness, grief, disgust and fear? What if you are expected not to feel? Or you are expected to be relentlessly competitive? What it’s like to live or work in a prison? Does working with people who commit murder, child abuse and rape affect people who work in prisons and the wider criminal justice system? How do people survive and thrive when facing significant challenges to our emotional health over a lengthy period? How do we protect ourselves and stay compassionate, loving and trusting? Importantly, how do we find and preserve hope? Fyodor Dostoevsky wrote that “The degree of civilisation in a society can be judged by entering its prisons”. In this weekly podcast ,your hosts, David Jones (Forensic psychotherapist) and Dr Naomi Murphy (Consultant Clinical & Forensic Psychologist) hope that exploring less visible aspects of prisons will help listeners see that prisons are a window into society and let us see people not only at their worst but also at their best. We feature a rich range of guests sharing snap shots of life in prisons and take a look at hospitals, schools, sport and the police in order to learn from other institutions. We learn about challenges to human integrity and hear important lessons and heart-warming stories about survival and growth when facing adversity in harsh places. We hope that sharing our conversations can help you make changes to your own relationship with institutions that might challenge your emotional health and well-being. Follow and connect with us and give us feedback. Let us know what you think works, and also what doesn’t. We want you to look forward to the podcast each week. We’ll also be extremely grateful for any reviews that you give us. A simple star or two or a thumbs up will do. Email: lockedupliving@gmail.com or connect with us on: Substack: https://lockedupliving.substack.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/LockedUpLiving Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/naomimurphypsychologist/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-jones-41910b12/ Insta: https://www.instagram.com/lockedupliving/

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