As the air starts to get a chill, the season of relationships, aka Libra season, begins to stir. What we commonly call cuffing season is officially underway, and so is the desire to examine our partnerships and the roles they play in our lives. It’s funny, because as I write this, I keep getting the image of handcuffs. And what is coming through isn’t necessarily the fun side of cuffing season. Haha, get it? It’s more about the association with restriction, obligation, and pressure. Hear me out... As humans, we are relational by nature. We come to Earth to experience life alongside other people. It begins with the family we are born into and evolves into the friendships, partnerships, communities, and chosen family we create along the way. Every soul we meet is sharing some part of this human experience with us. Some we may have known before in other lifetimes, while others we may be crossing paths with for the first time. Whatever the case, relationships are an essential part of being human. What isn’t essential is the enormous amount of weight we have learned to place on them, particularly the belief that another person is supposed to make us happy or somehow complete us. Like part of you is missing and you’re wandering around Earth searching for your “other half.” My unconventional Aquarius Rising is rolling her eyes right now because you aren’t half of anything. The idea that someone else completes us is a narrative that has been sold to us for generations, particularly to women, and so much of it has been built on fear rather than love. Because love isn’t something you find only inside a relationship. Love is what you are made of. When you enter into a relationship, that love gets stirred inside of you. Another person may awaken it, challenge it, reflect it, trigger it, expand it, or remind you that it exists, but they didn’t put it there. It was already yours. Relationships are mirrors, and Libra season reminds us of that. Think about the symbolism of Libra. It is the only sign of the zodiac represented by a non-living object: the scales. And I think that matters. Libra observes. It looks at the different sides of a situation, weighs the information, considers the relationship between seemingly opposing truths, and then looks for balance. Which is why I don’t agree with the pop-astrology idea that Libras can’t make decisions. As a Libra with many planets in Libra, I object to this slander. 😂 We absolutely can make decisions. We just want to examine every possible angle, consider how everyone involved feels, run through seventeen hypothetical scenarios, and THEN make the decision. Totally different. And that’s what I want us to explore this week: What is your truth when it comes to the relationship dynamics in your life? Because this week Venus, ruler of both Libra and Taurus, stations retrograde. For approximately 40 days, Venus begins her descent into the underworld, asking us to revisit our relationships, desires, values, self-worth, money, pleasure, and the things we believe we need in order to feel loved. And she begins that journey in Scorpio, a sign that isn’t particularly interested in the polite answer. Scorpio wants to know what is underneath it all. It wants to know where the power lives. Who has it? Who have you given it to? Where are you attempting to control someone else because you’re afraid? Where are you allowing someone else’s approval, attention, behavior, or rejection to determine how you feel about yourself? This is why I wasn’t surprised when I pulled The Lovers for this week. The Lovers is card number six in the Tarot, and six carries themes of love, harmony, responsibility, and relationship. Apparently, there is no escaping relational themes this week. But The Lovers isn’t only about romance. At its deepest level, it is also about choice. What are you choosing? And are you choosing it because it is aligned with who you are, or because you are afraid of what happens if you don’t? Our animal spirit ally this week, Dolphin, reminds us of the healing available when we connect with like-minded people and allow ourselves to experience supportive community. Not because someone else has the power to heal you, but because safe relationships can create an environment where you feel secure enough to lower your guard and reconnect with your own power. There’s a difference. The most disempowering thing we can do is believe another person has complete control over our happiness, worth, or life. When we are constantly seeking validation or approval outside ourselves, we hand our power away piece by piece. You are whole. You are complete. You don’t need someone else to tell you that. What you may need is to start believing it yourself. And imagine what happens when two people enter a relationship from that place. Not I need you to complete me, but I am whole, and I choose you. How beautiful would that be? A relationship built on two people who love themselves enough that they don’t need to control one another. Two people capable of supporting each other without becoming responsible for each other’s entire emotional existence. Two people who can say, I want you in my life, rather than I need you in order to have a life. But that isn’t necessarily what we’ve been taught relationships are supposed to look like. Women have historically been handed the Prince Charming narrative: someone will arrive, save you, and then you’ll live happily ever after. Men have often been handed another damaging story: suppress your emotions, don’t appear vulnerable, be strong, provide, protect, don’t show anyone that softer side. Over time, women can lose connection with their fierce feminine power while men learn to treat emotional vulnerability as weakness. Then we wonder why so many relationships feel disconnected. The foundation was cracked from the beginning. I once had a man tell me he was struggling in our connection because I didn’t need him. My response was, “Isn’t it better that I choose you?” And I think there is a profound difference between being needed and being chosen. Need can easily become tangled with fear, obligation, control, and the belief that we cannot survive without another person. Choice allows two people to remain sovereign within connection. I don’t need you to complete me. I am already whole. And from that wholeness, I choose to share myself with you. That’s what I want to leave you with before we dive into this week’s astrology. What are you choosing, and why? What are you committing to, and why? Where are you staying because you genuinely want to be there, and where are you staying because you’re afraid? Where are your relationships empowering you, and where are you handing someone else responsibility for something that actually belongs to you? And please don’t limit this inquiry to romantic relationships. Look at your friendships, your family, your work relationships, and your communities. Look at who gets access to you and why. Look at where you feel safe enough to be yourself and where you find yourself performing, shrinking, controlling, chasing, or seeking approval. And most importantly, look at the relationship you have with yourself. Because Venus is about to descend into the underworld, and she may have a lot to show us about what we’ve mistaken for love, what we’ve given away in exchange for it, and what becomes possible when we remember that the love and power we have been searching for were never outside of us to begin with. You can read more about the Venus retrograde here: So, let’s get into the week ahead... Monday, September 28 Moon enters Taurus Sun in Libra trine Uranus in Gemini We begin the week with a little disruption to the relationship script. And I actually love that. The Libra Sun trine Uranus invites us to question the rules we’ve inherited around relationships, partnership, beauty, identity, and what a “successful” life is supposed to look like. Uranus doesn’t particularly care what everyone else is doing. It asks: But what actually works for YOU? Meanwhile, the Moon enters Taurus, bringing us back into the body and our values. Sometimes you don’t realize how much you’ve been contorting yourself to fit someone else’s expectations until you finally experience what it feels like to stop. Maybe your version of partnership doesn’t look conventional. Maybe your friendships are becoming more important. Maybe your definition of family has changed. Maybe something you thought you wanted five years ago doesn’t fit anymore. Good. You’re allowed to evolve. Work with it: * Question an inherited relationship rule. * Notice what feels freeing versus restrictive. * Let yourself want something unconventional. * Check in with your body before saying yes. * Ask: If no one else had an opinion, what would I choose? Tuesday, September 29 Venus in Scorpio opposite Chiron in Taurus Here’s where things may get tender. Venus opposite Chiron can bring wounds around love, worth, rejection, desirability, intimacy, security, or receiving to the surface. And because Venus is preparing to station retrograde, I wouldn’t be surprised if something familiar appears. An old relationship pattern. An insecurity you thought you’d moved beyond. A memory. A person. A fear. But resurfacing doesn’t mean you’ve failed to heal. Sometimes we revisit an old wound because we’re finally ready to see it from another perspective. The question isn’t simply, Who hurt me? It might be: What did that experience teach me to believe about myself? Because another person’s inability to love you well was never proof that you were unlovable. Work with it: * Notice what triggers insecurity or rejection. * Offer compassion to an older version of yourself. * Separate someone’s behavior from your worth. * Let yourself receive without immediately questioning it. * Ask: What am I ready to stop believing
