Advancing Women Podcast

Dr. Kimberly DeSimone
  • 5.0 (128)
  • Education
  • Updated Biweekly

Welcome to the Advancing Women Podcast where ambitious women come together to challenge the status quo, advance their careers, and up-level their lives. The Advancing Women Podcast is hosted by Gender Equity Expert and Executive Coach Dr. Kimberly DeSimone.

  1. 2d ago

    Why Are We So Comfortable with Women's Suffering?

    What started as a frustrating battle with my health insurance over a medication that has worked successfully for nearly two years led me to ask a much bigger question: Why are we so comfortable with women's suffering? In this episode, I explore why women's pain is so often treated as "normal"…whether it's menopause, chronic pain, endometriosis, caregiving exhaustion, or countless other experiences that disproportionately affect women. Drawing on current research, personal experience, and Caroline Criado Perez's groundbreaking book Invisible Women, I examine how women's health has historically been under-researched, underfunded, and too often treated as an afterthought. This episode isn't about blaming individual doctors or healthcare providers. It's about understanding how systems evolve and what happens when women's experiences are consistently treated as secondary rather than central. Most importantly, it's about hope. For perhaps the first time in history, women are connecting their experiences at scale. Through research, storytelling, and yes, even social media, women are realizing something profoundly important: It's not just me. When we name what has been invisible, we can finally begin to change it. Explored in this episode: Why my insurance appeal became a much bigger conversation about women's health Why "it's just menopause" may be one of the most harmful phrases we use The surprising lack of menopause education in medical training What current research reveals about reimbursement disparities in healthcare How Invisible Women explains the "gender data gap" Why women's suffering is often normalized rather than solved The role of social media in helping women compare notes, find language, and create change Why naming invisible inequities is the first step toward changing them Resources Mentioned Caroline Criado Perez, Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men Dr. Jocelyn Fitzgerald and colleagues' research on reimbursement disparities in gender-specific surgical procedures. Here is the most recent study: Penn, M., Colley, D., Koirala, P., King, L., & Fitzgerald, J. (2025). Price and prejudice: reimbursement of surgical care on male versus female anatomies. Journal of Women's Health, 34(5), 665-676. R E N É | J A Y 🇭🇹 on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTSjEqurQ/ If this episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear your story. Share it with someone who needs to know they aren't alone. Because every time women share their experiences, the invisible becomes visible. And that's where change begins. Let’s Connect: ·        Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast  ·        Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast  ·        LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone

    25 min

  2. Jun 15

    The Hidden Cost of Effortless

    What if one of the most common compliments women receive isn't really a compliment at all? In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, Dr. Kimberly DeSimone explores the cultural obsession with "effortlessness" and the hidden costs that accompany it. Inspired by conversations following a recent Women's Leadership Summit, this episode examines how language shapes perception, why precision of language matters, and how the word effortless often conceals the labor, expertise, preparation, and emotional work behind success. From leadership and caregiving to careers and relationships, women are frequently expected not only to achieve, but to make achievement appear easy. The result? Invisible labor, unrealistic expectations, and a growing disconnect between what success looks like and what it actually costs. In this episode: • Why precision of language is a leadership skill • The difference between overwhelm and overfunctioning • How "effortless" can diminish labor and expertise • The hidden burden of invisible work • Duck Syndrome and the pressure to appear unaffected • Why making difficult things look easy is often expected rather than rewarded • How visible effort helps us protect our peace • Why accurately naming the problem is often the first step toward solving it Because maybe what looks effortless isn't effortless at all. Maybe it's expertise. Maybe it's resilience. Maybe it's years of practice. Maybe it's work. And maybe it's time we started calling it that!  #AdvancingWomenPodcast #WomenInLeadership #InvisibleLabor #EmotionalLabor #Leadership #WorkingWomen #Boundaries #ProfessionalDevelopment   Let’s Connect: ·        Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast  ·        Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast  ·        LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone  Referenced: https://shswny.org/duck-syndrome-are-people-what-they-seem/ Akçay, E., & Ohashi, R. (2024). The floating duck syndrome: biased social learning leads to effort–reward imbalances. Evolutionary Human Sciences, 6, e30.

    20 min

  3. Jun 1

    Life Is Short. Less is BORE. Wear the Ears!

    What if getting dressed became less about managing perception…and more about self-expression and shaping our experience? In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, Dr. DeSimone explores the surprising emotional depth behind something that initially seems lighthearted: overdressing for no reason, Disney ears on a cruise, bold earrings, sparkle, whimsy, and the idea that maybe “less is more” has quietly turned into a life philosophy that asks us all to become smaller versions of ourselves. Inspired by a series of Instagram and TikTok posts about “normalizing overdressing,” “living in gray,” and reclaiming joy, this episode dives into: Why “YOU are the occasion” is such a powerful reframe. The psychology of Enclothed Cognition and how clothing can influence mood, confidence, and emotional experience. The cultural pressure toward neutrality, practicality, and emotional minimization. Why so many women are socialized to tone themselves down and avoid being “too much.” How adulthood became associated with restraint, muted joy, & “emotionally beige” living. The connection between joy, self-expression, visibility, and the concept of Deferred Life. Why reclaiming whimsy may actually be an act of self-reclamation. From Disney ears and pirate night themes to the “closet graveyard” of aspirational purchases and unworn outfits, this episode reflects on what it means to stop postponing aliveness and start fully participating in your own life. Because maybe being “too much” was never actually the problem. Maybe too many of us were simply taught that joy should be quieter than it deserves to be. Key Takeaways: • Less is not always more • Whimsy is not immaturity • Joy is not frivolous • Self-expression is not a character flaw • You do not need a special occasion to fully show up inside your own life So wear the fancy dress. Use the good perfume. Drink the good wine. Wear the ears. Take the photo. Because life is short. And Less is BORE! Mentioned in this episode: Advancing Women Podcast episode: Deferred Life Syndrome: Let’s Stop Waiting & Start Living (May, 2026)  New Conscious World on Instagram/Facebook Reel “You Were Never Supposed to Live in Gray”  Feed Me Gems Official Instagram Reel “3 reasons to NORMALIZE overdressing for no reason”  Enclothed Cognition. Gruber Baitz, R., & Rogaten, J. (2026). Enclothed Cognition: How Clothing Shapes Our Thoughts, Feelings, and Behaviour. In Applied Psychology in Fashion: A Research-Informed Approach (pp. 119-144). Cham: Springer Nature Switzerland. Let’s Connect: Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast  Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast  LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone  #AdvancingWomenPodcast #LessIsBore #LifeIsShortWearTheEars #WomenAndJoy #SelfExpression #DeferredLifeSyndrome #Whimsy #MainCharacterEnergy #WomenSupportingWomen #EmotionalWellbeing #EnclothedCognition

    20 min

  4. May 19

    Good Moms, Hero Dads, and the Impossible Rules of Parenthood

    Every May, social media fills with beautiful tributes to motherhood. “Moms are superheroes” “A mother’s love knows no bounds" ”Home is where mom is” And that gratitude matters. The acknowledgment matters. But underneath all the flowers, hashtags, “best mom ever” mugs, and brunches…there’s a deeper conversation we don’t have often enough. Motherhood in our society comes with profoundly unequal expectations. Not because men are inherently bad partners or uninvolved fathers. But because women and men are often socialized very differently around caregiving, sacrifice, emotional labor, and identity. Women are frequently taught that being a “good mom” means sacrifice. It means anticipating needs, absorbing discomfort, prioritizing others, smoothing conflict, and holding everything together. Mothers are expected to professionally manage childhood. Dads, meanwhile, are often praised for participation. And those are not the same expectations! And the consequences of those expectations show up everywhere: in the motherhood penalty, in the fatherhood bonus, in emotional labor, in Overfunctioning, in burnout, and in the guilt women often carry no matter what choices they make. Stay home? You’re wasting your potential. Work full time? You’re letting someone else raise your kids. Try to do both? Now you feel like you’re failing in two places simultaneously. And perhaps most painfully, women are often made to feel guilty for acknowledging any complexity in motherhood at all. As though saying “this is hard” somehow diminishes love. But human beings are capable of feeling multiple things at once. You can deeply love your children…AND still feel exhausted. You can feel grateful for motherhood…AND still feel yourself wilting under impossible expectations. Those things are not contradictions. They are part of being human. One of the most important reframes I’ve learned through years of researching gender, leadership, and emotional labor is this…sometimes women are not overwhelmed…they’re Overfunctioning! Carrying the logistics, the emotions, the remembering, the planning, the anticipating, and often the emotional equilibrium of everyone around them. And eventually, that takes a toll. Women do not wilt because they are weak. Women wilt because they are expected to endlessly bloom without being watered themselves. That’s not an individual failure. That’s a cultural conversation worth having! #tunein #advancingwomenpodcast Advancing Women Podcast Episodes referenced in this episode: Overwhelmed or Overfunctioning? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/overwhelmed-or-overfunctioning-how-the-language/id1569849100?i=1000756866647 All Women are Defective! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/all-women-are-defective/id1569849100?i=1000527934727 Let’s Connect: ·        Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/?hl=en ·        Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ ·        LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

    20 min

  5. May 4

    Deferred Life Syndrome: Let’s Stop Waiting & Start Living!

    What if the greatest loss in your life isn’t failure, burnout, or even heartbreak, but the quiet absence of moments that make you feel alive? In this episode, we explore Deferred Life Syndrome…the pattern of postponing joy, rest, and meaningful experiences for “later.” After the busy season. After things calm down. After everything lines up perfectly. But what if that “later” never actually comes? Drawing on research around regret, lived experience, and the realities of modern life, especially for women navigating invisible labor and constant expectations, this episode challenges the myth of the perfect time and offers a more grounded, empowering alternative. This is not about abandoning responsibility. It’s not about living recklessly. It’s about building a life you actually experience, not just manage. In This Episode, We Explore: Why “I’ll do it later” quietly becomes a life pattern The concept of Deferred Life Syndrome and how it shows up What end-of-life research reveals about regret The hidden cost of productivity over presence Why “less busy” is a myth The power of thinking in seasons, not perfection How small, intentional moments can interrupt autopilot Moving from “someday” to “here’s how” The goal isn’t to wait for a life that feels alive. The goal is to stop deferring and start living it. Right here. Right now. In whatever way you can. If this episode resonated, share it with someone who needs permission to stop waiting. Listen, Subscribe, Connect! Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast  Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast  LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone

    21 min

  6. Apr 20

    The Good Guy Problem: When Allyship Can’t Hear Feedback

    What happens when the people we believe are on our side… can’t hear us? In this episode, I explore what I call the “good guy problem”…those moments when someone who sees themselves as fair, supportive, and an ally is given feedback, and instead of responding with curiosity, something shifts. The conversation moves away from what was experienced and toward protecting intentions, identity, and self-perception. What makes these moments so complex is that they’re not random. Beneath the surface, something predictable is happening. Drawing on research in social psychology, including work on identity threat and moral self-image (e.g., Benoît Monin & Dale T. Miller), feedback about behavior can be experienced as a challenge to who someone believes they are. Instead of hearing, “Here’s something to reflect on,” the message becomes, “You’re not who you think you are.” And once that shift happens, the conversation is no longer about impact, it’s about protection.  We revisit my 3 A’s Model of Allyship (Acknowledgement, Amplification, and Action) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-3as-of-allyship-acknowledge-amplify-act/id1569849100?i=1000561686008 and name a critical insight: Allyship often breaks down at the very first step. Not when allies are learning about inequity in theory, but in the moment when someone says, “Something about that didn’t feel right.” Because acknowledgement, in that moment, requires the ability to sit with discomfort and remain open, even when it challenges your sense of self. When that doesn’t happen, allyship can quietly slip into something more fragile; strong when affirmed, but unstable when challenged. This is “fragile allyship”. Instead of creating space for truth, it begins to prioritize comfort. And in that shift, women often find themselves not only naming what happened, but also managing the reaction that follows. The episode also touches on the concept of Epistemic injustice (Miranda Fricker), which helps explain why these moments can feel so disempowering. When someone’s lived experience is questioned or dismissed, it’s not just disagreement; it’s a subtle undermining of their authority to interpret their own reality. And when that comes from someone positioned as an ally, it can erode trust in ways that are hard to name but deeply felt. At its core, this episode comes back to a simple, necessary truth: you can be a good person and still get it wrong. In fact, the ability to hold both is what makes real allyship possible. Because if being “good” means never being wrong, there’s no room to listen, learn, or grow. Real allyship isn’t about perfection. It’s about what happens in the moment when you’re told you missed something. It’s the ability to stay, to listen to impact without defensiveness, and to choose understanding over self-protection. #tunein #allyship Continue the Conversation! If this episode resonated with you, share it with another woman who might need this reframe. As always, “It’s not your fault, but it is your problem” Listen, Subscribe, Connect! The Advancing Women Podcast Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast  Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone  The 3As of Allyship (Acknowledge, Amplify, Act)

    20 min

  7. Apr 6

    It’s Not Your Fault You Struggle to Say No (But It Is Your Problem)

    We hear it all the time: “You’re too busy because you make yourself too busy.” “It’s your own fault.” “You just need to learn to say no.” But what if it’s not that simple? In this episode, we unpack the uncomfortable truth behind that advice, and why it so often falls flat for women. Saying no isn’t just about willpower or better boundaries. It’s shaped by social expectations, workplace dynamics, and very real consequences. This is where empathy meets pragmatism. We move beyond blame and into understanding: Why saying no feels so heavy The hidden costs women face when they do And how to approach boundaries in a way that actually serves you Because while it’s not your fault that saying no feels hard… it is your problem to solve if you want to avoid burnout, resentment, and misalignment. Key Insight: Saying no isn’t just about boundaries, it’s about navigating systems that were never designed with you in mind. So, if it’s not a hell yes, it’s probably a hell no. Make room for the opportunities that actually move you forward. 💛 Final Thought: You are not failing at boundaries. You are navigating expectations, bias, and systems that make boundaries harder for you to hold. And once you understand the game…you can start playing it differently. Continue the Conversation! If this episode resonated with you, share it with another woman who might need this reframe. Listen, Subscribe, Connect! Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast  Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast  LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone

    19 min

  8. Mar 23

    Overwhelmed or Overfunctioning? How the Language of Overwhelm Blames Women

    What if “overwhelm” isn’t actually the problem? In this episode, we take a closer look at a word many women use to describe their lives—and challenge what it might be hiding. Because when women say they’re overwhelmed, it often sounds like a capacity problem…like we simply can’t handle everything on our plates. But what if the issue isn’t capacity at all? What if what we’re really experiencing is overfunctioning, quietly carrying more responsibility, more emotional labor, and more invisible work than anyone was meant to sustain? In this episode, we do what we always do on the Advancing Women Podcast: we question the narratives, name the invisible systems, and connect personal experiences to the bigger picture. Because sometimes what feels like a personal struggle… is actually something structural. In This Episode, We Explore: Why the word “overwhelm” can unintentionally place blame on women The concept of overfunctioning and how capability becomes expectation How being responsible for everything can quietly turn into being blamed for everything The role of emotional labor and the mental load in women’s exhaustion Why a growth mindset can backfire in systems that depend on overfunctioning How “trying harder” often reinforces the very dynamics that are burning women out What it really means to reclaim boundarieswithout becoming less capable Research & Concepts Referenced This episode draws on a growing body of research around invisible labor and gendered expectations: Arlie Hochschild: Emotional labor and the management of feelings and relationships Allison Daminger: The “mental load” and the cognitive work of anticipating, planning, and coordinating Gemma Hartley: Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward, which explores how women’s invisible labor is normalized, expected, and often undervalued Emerging conversations in psychology and coaching around overfunctioning in high-capacity women Ferrera, A. (2023). Barbie [Film]. Warner Bros. (Barbie monologue delivered by America Ferrera) If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, try shifting the question. It’s not “What do I need to do better?” But: “What have I been carrying that was never meant to be mine alone?” The exhaustion many women feel isn’t necessarily a sign of failure. Sometimes it’s a sign that you’ve been holding too much for too long. And once you can see that pattern, you have the power to interrupt it. To question the language. To challenge the narratives. To stop automatically stepping in when systems quietly assume you will. Because sometimes the most radical move a capable woman can make… is refusing to carry what was never hers alone. And as always, remember: It’s not your fault… but it is your problem. Continue the Conversation! If this episode resonated with you, share it with another woman who might need this reframe. Listen, Subscribe, Connect! Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast  Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast  LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone

    23 min
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5
out of 5
128 Ratings

About

Welcome to the Advancing Women Podcast where ambitious women come together to challenge the status quo, advance their careers, and up-level their lives. The Advancing Women Podcast is hosted by Gender Equity Expert and Executive Coach Dr. Kimberly DeSimone.

Information

  • Creator
    Dr. Kimberly DeSimone
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2026
  • Episodes
    157
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2021 All rights reserved.
  • Show Website
    Advancing Women Podcast

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