Advancing Women Podcast

Dr. Kimberly DeSimone
  • 5.0 (130)
  • Education
  • Biweekly

Welcome to the Advancing Women Podcast where ambitious women come together to challenge the status quo, advance their careers, and up-level their lives. The Advancing Women Podcast is hosted by Gender Equity Expert and Executive Coach Dr. Kimberly DeSimone.

  1. Oct 19

    Season of the Witch: Wicked or Just Inconvenient?

    A woman doesn’t become wicked because she stops being convenient. She said no. Set a boundary. Asked for credit. Wanted something for herself. So how did she become the villain? It’s another Season of the Witch on the Advancing Women Podcast, and this year, we’re examining the stories that turn women’s independence into a moral problem. Inspired by Practical Magic, its sequel, and the expectations women inherit across generations, Dr. Kimberly DeSimone explores three familiar “spells”: a good woman is always available; wanting power makes her suspicious; and someone else’s discomfort means she’s done something wrong. With research, Halloween humor, and a little cauldron-side clarity, we connect the witch archetype to gendered expectations at work, at home, and in our relationships. We examine the “villain edit” that supplies sinister motives for ordinary actions—and ask whether we support women’s independence when it actually requires something of us. In this episode The rules we inherit: How expectations about being a “good woman” become so familiar that we stop questioning them. The gendered history of Witch persecution: Recognizing women’s disproportionate targeting while respecting historical complexity and the people who suffered. Availability as an obligation: Why necessary but less career-advancing work so often lands on women. The villain edit: How confidence, preparation, relationships, and even kindness can be recast as evidence against a woman. Discomfort versus wrongdoing: Why someone’s disappointment doesn’t automatically make your boundary unfair. Conditional support: “Set boundaries! Just don’t limit my access.” The haunted house inside your mind:Recognizing social conditioning in the judgments we learn to anticipate. Practical solidarity: Sharing the work, crediting contributions, respecting limits, and leaving better choices for the next woman. The Key Takeaway Before we call her wicked, let’s ask what she did. And before we ask her to keep the peace, let’s ask what that peace is costing her. Sometimes, the woman we’re calling a witch is simply the one who refuses to keep living under the spell. She hasn’t cast one. She’s broken one. Research, historical sources, and further reading Babcock, L., Recalde, M. P., Vesterlund, L., & Weingart, L. (2017). Gender differences in accepting and receiving requests for tasks with low promotability. American Economic Review, 107(3), 714–747. Research on gender differences in volunteering, receiving requests, and accepting work that offers limited advancement opportunities. Read the article. Rudman, L. A., & Glick, P. (2001).Prescriptive gender stereotypes and backlash toward agentic women. Journal of Social Issues, 57(4), 743–762. Experimental research on hiring judgments and expectations of feminine niceness. Read the article. Martin, A. E., & Flynn, F. J. (2026). Behind closed doors: The uncommunal feminine stereotype. Organization Science. Further reading on suspicion of women’s motives: a theoretical article examining how expectations of public warmth can coexist with assumptions of private manipulation. Read the article. Carter, P. (2025). Work, gender and witchcraft in early modern England. Gender & History, 37(1), 91–108. Historical scholarship examining gendered work and vulnerability to witchcraft accusations; includes an overview of women’s predominance among those tried. First published online in 2023. Read the article. Massachusetts Archives. Power & persecution: Race & gender in the Salem Witch Trials. Archival context on gender, race, social expectations, and vulnerability to accusation. Explore the collection. Movies referenced Dunne, G. (Director). (1998). Practical Magic[Film]. Warner Bros. Starring Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman as Sally and Gillian Owens. Film information. Bier, S. (Director). (2026). Practical Magic 2[Film]. Warner Bros. Pictures. Official synopsis. Ortega, K. (Director). (1993). Hocus Pocus[Film]. Walt Disney Pictures. Featuring the Sanderson sisters, played by Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Kathy Najimy. Official film page. Keep the conversation going What inherited expectations are you ready to question? Listen, Subscribe, Connect! The Advancing Women Podcast Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast  Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast  LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone  Share this conversation with someone who needs the reminder that having limits is not a character flaw. Music: Joe Jacobs Podcast logo: Heather Harris

  2. Oct 5

    Damned If You Do, Doomed If You Don’t: The Tightrope Bias Women Still Face

    Be confident…but not intimidating. Be warm…but not weak. Lead…but please make everybody comfortable while you’re doing it. Sound familiar? In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, Dr. Kimberly DeSimone revisits tightrope bias through a recent experience: feedback that praised women faculty for their warmth while suggesting a male professor would bring challenge, assertiveness, and perseverance. The compliment was sincere. The gendered assumptions were revealing. Drawing on Joan C. Williams and Rachel Dempsey’s work, Kimberly explores how women’s care can eclipse their authority, and how their authority can become a complaint about their tone. She connects those judgments to the work women are expected to do, the opportunities they receive, and whose contributions count as leadership. We explore: Why bias can arrive wrapped in a compliment. The double bind of being appreciated for warmth but penalized for authority. The constant editing women do before they speak, and the backlash they anticipate. How “being helpful” can hide rigorous, consequential leadership. Questions that help us interrupt gendered judgments in hiring, feedback, and promotion. The takeaway: Her warmth does not cancel out her rigor. Her authority does not make her unkind. And she should not have to give up one to get credit for the other. If this feels familiar, share the episode with someone who teaches, mentors, hires, or evaluates others. And join the conversation on Instagram or LinkedIn: what has the moving standard sounded like in your workplace? Related episodes Tightrope Bias & The Likeability Dilemma The Mental Load of Misusing “Mental Load” Research and resources Joan C. Williams and Rachel Dempsey, What Works for Women at Work: Four Patterns Working Women Need to Know (2014). The subtle suspension of backlash: A meta-analysis of penalties for women’s implicit and explicit dominance behavior. Negotiating gender roles: Gender differences in assertive negotiating are mediated by women’s fear of backlash and attenuated when negotiating on behalf of others. Center for WorkLife Law, Bias Interrupters for Architecture. For further reading on differences among women’s experiences: Double Jeopardy? Gender Bias Against Women of Color in Science. Listen, Subscribe, Connect! The Advancing Women Podcast Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast  Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast  LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone

  3. Sep 21

    The Mental Load of Misusing “Mental Load”

    What happens when language created to make inequality visible becomes so broadly used that the inequality itself begins to disappear? Terms like mental load, invisible labor, and emotional labor have helped name forms of work —often disproportionately carried by women—that traditional measures of labor have failed to capture. But lately, these terms seem to be everywhere, applied to everything from emotionally difficult conversations to administrative annoyances to ordinary responsibilities we wish we didn't have. In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, Dr. Kimberly DeSimone explores what happens when useful structural concepts undergo conceptual inflation: their boundaries expand until they begin encompassing experiences increasingly distinct from what they were originally helping us understand. Because the popularity of a concept can become the enemy of its precision. Not all invisible work is “the mental load.” Not all underappreciated work is “emotional labor.” And not every unpleasant obligation is evidence of inequity. There is a difference between a burden and a pattern of inequity. Kimberly traces the research behind mental load and cognitive household labor, revisits sociologist Arlie Hochschild's original conception of emotional labor, and considers what gets lost when structural language becomes a generic synonym for this is hard. She also explores emerging research from Angelica Ferrara and colleagues on “Mankeeping”: the work women may perform to maintain men's social and emotional lives, and an important paradox: at the same time we're broadening the language of invisible labor to encompass men's ordinary responsibilities, men's shrinking social networks may be generating additional invisible labor for women. This isn't about linguistic gatekeeping. Concepts evolve. Language evolves. It's about what happens when we strip the analysis out of the language. Because a concept becoming more inclusive isn't necessarily the same thing as a concept becoming more illuminating. And precision isn't about protecting words. It's about protecting what they allow us to see.    In this episode: What mental load actually means, and why it isn't “everything I have to think about” The difference between an individual burden and a systemic pattern of inequity Conceptual inflation: what happens when useful concepts expand beyond what they were designed to explain How structural language can lose its structure The emerging concept of "Mankeeping" Men's loneliness, social isolation, and women's often-unseen relational labor Why precision of language matters, especially when we're talking about equity Previous Episode Referenced in this episode: The Hidden Cost of Effortless  Research Referenced: Ferrara, A. P., & Vergara, D. P. (2024). Theorizing mankeeping: The male friendship recession and women’s associated labor as a structural component of gender inequality. Psychology of Men & Masculinities, 25(4), 391–401.  Hochschild, A. R. (1983). The managed heart: Commercialization of human feeling. University of California Press. Mancini, V. O., Guerrini, B. N., Clarke, J. J., Vergara, D. P., Seidler, Z. E., & Ferrara, A. P. (2026). Measuring mankeeping: Development and validation of a scale assessing how women experience the impact of men's declining social networks. Sex Roles, 92, Article 32.  Let’s continue the Conversation! If this episode resonated with you, why not share it! Listen, Subscribe, Connect! The Advancing Women Podcast Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast  Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast  LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone

  4. Sep 7

    Routine, Wonder & Letting Life Surprise You

    When we're young, life is filled with firsts. First days. First trips. First jobs. First heartbreaks. First moments of realizing we can do something we weren't sure we could do. Then somewhere along the way, we get good at life. We build careers, relationships, homes, habits, and routines. And that's a good thing. Routine makes life manageable. Familiarity gives us security. But does it also have a quiet cost? In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, Dr. Kimberly DeSimone explores what happens when a life once filled with firsts becomes increasingly familiar, and whether one of the hidden costs of routine is a gradual loss of wonder. Drawing on the psychology of habituation, novelty, attention, and memory, Kimberly considers why new experiences can make us feel more awake, why familiar experiences can begin to blur into the background, and why creating more “firsts” may help us encounter our lives with greater attention and curiosity. But novelty alone isn't enough. We can travel halfway around the world and still turn Paris into a checklist. We can rush through vacations, optimize our leisure, document experiences before we've actually experienced them, and bring the urgency of an ordinary Tuesday into extraordinary places. Which raises a bigger question: What happens when we stop assaulting life with urgency? From the surrender of sitting beside the ocean, to the unexpected moments that happen when travel plans fall apart, to finding magic in a hot, crowded day at Disney, this episode explores wonder not simply as something we encounter, but as a way we encounter the world. And for women, there may be another layer. So much of adulthood can involve being the person who knows what's next: anticipating, remembering, planning, organizing, and creating predictability for everyone else. Sometimes there is freedom in stepping out of that role long enough to wander, be a beginner, not know what's next, and allow ourselves to be surprised. The takeaway isn't another assignment, bucket list, or life-optimization strategy. It's much simpler: Routine makes life manageable. Novelty wakes us up. Surrender gives us space to notice. Maybe we don't lose our capacity for wonder as we get older. Maybe our lives simply become so familiar, efficient, and hurried that we stop creating the conditions in which wonder can find us. So this week, go find a first.                                    And when you do? Look around. Pay attention. Let yourself be surprised. Let’s continue the Conversation! If this episode resonated with you, why not share it! Listen, Subscribe, Connect! The Advancing Women Podcast Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast  Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast  LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone

  5. Aug 24

    When They're Listening for Errors, Not Understanding

    Have you ever tried to tell someone how something made you feel, only to find yourself suddenly defending the accuracy of your own experience? That's not what happened. That's not what I said. That's not what I meant. You're taking it the wrong way. I guess I just can't do anything right. And suddenly, you're no longer talking about what hurt you. You're litigating whether they did anything wrong. In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, Dr. Kimberly DeSimone explores what happens when someone listens to our feelings for errors instead of understanding, and why defensiveness can turn an attempt at connection into a battle over whose version of reality gets to count. Because feelings aren't courtroom testimony. Understanding someone's experience doesn't require agreeing with every interpretation of what happened. Empathy is not a verdict. It isn't a confession, compliance, or an admission of guilt. It's the willingness to stop defending your own perspective long enough to become curious about someone else's. But this episode goes beyond communication. We examine the gender socialization that shapes how women and men learn to receive criticism, research on masculine norms and manipulation in conflict, and the psychological function of defensiveness as protection against shame, vulnerability, and threats to self-image. Dr. DeSimone explores the important distinction between ordinary defensiveness and persistent invalidation, including gaslighting, DARVO, and the concept of epistemic testimonial injustice: what happens when someone's credibility as the narrator of their own experience is repeatedly diminished. Because after enough conversations in which your reality is disputed, the greatest cost may not simply be unresolved conflict. It may be that you begin to stop trusting yourself. This episode is ultimately about something bigger than getting another person to understand you. It's about recognizing that you cannot force someone into self-awareness,  but you also don't have to surrender your understanding of your own experience simply because someone refuses to validate it. Sometimes clarity means recognizing that someone you love gets defensive but genuinely wants to do better. Sometimes it means recognizing your own contribution to a dynamic. And sometimes it means confronting the harder possibility: You may be trying to explain yourself to someone who benefits from not understanding you. The goal isn't to have relationships without disagreement. It's to have relationships where disagreement doesn't require one person's experience to disappear. Referenced: Scott Austin Martin: Are you listening for errors? Or listening to understand?  Let’s Connect: Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast  LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone

  6. Aug 11

    Confidence, Purpose & the Courage to Take Up Space, with Division I Head Coach Kristen Sharkey

    What can a Division I basketball coach teach us about confidence, identity, leadership, and becoming the women we're meant to be? As it turns out…a lot. In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, Dr. Kimberly DeSimone sits down with University at Buffalo Women's Basketball Head Coach Kristen Sharkey for a conversation that goes far beyond the basketball court. The connection began at a women's leadership conference, where several young women who had heard both Kimberly and Sharkey speak insisted the two needed to meet. On the surface, a professor and a Division I basketball coach might seem to occupy very different worlds. But when Sharkey later told Kimberly, “My purpose in what I get to do is to help our young ladies grow into the phenomenal women they are meant to be. Basketball is my tool to do that,” the shared mission became clear. Basketball may be Sharkey's tool. Leadership education and this podcast may be Kimberly's. But both are deeply invested in helping women recognize their potential, find their voices, and become more fully who they are meant to be. Together, they explore what Sharkey has learned from coaching women in one of the most competitive environments imaginable, and why those lessons matter far beyond sports. They talk about: • Why confidence isn't something someone else can give you, and why it is often built through discomfort, mistakes, and getting back up • The complicated relationship women have with ambition and competition, and the double standards that still shape how competitive women are perceived • Competition versus comparison, and how women can pursue their own success while still bringing other women with them • The importance of connection, trust, character, and working toward something bigger than ourselves • How to separate who we are from what we do, especially when things aren't going the way we'd hoped • Why women need to stop apologizing for their opinions and voices • Finding purpose beyond performance and discovering what “sets your soul on fire” This isn't an episode about basketball…It's a conversation about becoming. About learning to trust yourself. It’s about recovering from mistakes rather than being defined by them, about taking your seat at the table, even when you're not entirely sure you belong there, and about becoming the kind of strong woman who brings other women with her! Support Women's Sports: One of the themes that emerges in this conversation is that visibility and investment matter. Women's sports deserve our attention, our attendance, and our support. Coach Sharkey and UB Women's Basketball recently launched the Power of One Campaign, a community fundraising movement built around a simple idea: small individual acts of support can create an enormous collective impact. Support Coach Sharkey and UB Women's Basketball through the Power of One Campaign Buy tickets and support the UB Bulls Women's Basketball team And wherever you live, show up for women's sports. Buy the ticket. Fill the stands. Bring your daughters and your sons. Cheer loudly. Every ticket. Every cheer. Every person in those stands matters. Let’s Connect: Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast  Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast  LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone

  7. Jul 27

    The Shell Game: Why Doing Everything Right Still Isn't Enough

    What if everything you've been told about success is true...just not equally true? For generations, women have been given a roadmap to success. Work hard. Earn the degree. Build your expertise. Develop executive presence. Negotiate. Become exceptional. And millions of women have done exactly that. So why do so many still feel like the finish line keeps moving? In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, Dr. Kimberly DeSimone explores a question that has been at the center of her research, teaching, and leadership work for years: What if the problem isn't that women aren't following the roadmap? What if they're following it exactly? Using the metaphor of the classic street game Three-Card Monte (sometimes called Find the Queen), this episode examines why doing everything "right" doesn't always produce the same outcomes for everyone. Drawing on decades of research in organizational psychology, leadership, gender studies, and behavioral science, Kimberly explores how bias often shifts rather than disappears, as women become more qualified, more accomplished, and closer to positions of power. Rather than asking women to become even more exceptional, this episode asks a different question: What if the system keeps changing the rules? This Episode Explores: Why the traditional success roadmap doesn't always produce equal outcomes Why credentials alone aren't enough Adam Grant's discussion of the research on intelligence and likability Meritocracy: aspiration versus reality, and the "Prove-It-Again" bias The motherhood penalty, fatherhood premium, and the “second shift” Casuistic bias and how evaluation criteria quietly change depending on who possesses the qualifications Why exceptional women are often evaluated differently than exceptional men Why recognizing patterns is the first step toward changing systems Mentioned in This Episode: Walking on Broken Glass by Shannon Nutter & Julia Carrion Joan C. Williams' research on "Prove-It-Again" bias The Second Shift by Arlie Hochschild Continue the Conversation! Have you ever felt like the goalposts moved just as you reached them? I'd love to hear your thoughts. Why not add a comment on the Advancing Women Podcast Instagram page? ·        Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast  ·        Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast  Connect with me on LinkedIn ·        LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone  Please share this episode with someone who needs to hear it and join the conversation. Every conversation helps us move one step closer to changing the game!

  8. Jul 13

    Micro Moments of Summer Joy: Why Tiny Moments Matter More Than Perfect Summers

    Summer has a funny way of becoming another thing to accomplish. The perfect vacation. The perfect family memories. The backyard projects. The bucket list. The pressure to make every sunny day count. But what if we've been measuring summer all wrong? In this episode, Dr. Kimberly DeSimone explores the surprising science behind micro moments of joy…those small, seemingly ordinary experiences that quietly restore our minds, calm our nervous systems, and remind us what it feels like to simply be present. Drawing from Attention Restoration Theory, positive psychology, and Barbara Fredrickson's Broaden-and-Build Theory, you'll discover why a walk outside, an iced coffee on the porch, a favorite song, or ten uninterrupted minutes in the sunshine may be more restorative than we realize. This isn't about escaping your life. It's about finding tiny moments of joy within the life you're already living. Because sometimes the smallest moments change us the most. In this episode: Why our brains need "micro moments" of restoration  The science behind nature, joy, and resilience  Why savoring ordinary moments strengthens well-being  Five gentle ways to experience more joy this summer, without adding another item to your to-do list An Invitation: Steal back ten minutes this week. No multitasking. No guilt. No productivity. Just ten minutes that belong completely to you. Then ask yourself: What is your favorite micro moment of summer joy? Consider sharing your favorite micro moment on the Advancing Women Podcast Instagram Post! Let’s Connect: ·        Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast  ·        Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast  ·        LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone

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5
out of 5
130 Ratings

About

Welcome to the Advancing Women Podcast where ambitious women come together to challenge the status quo, advance their careers, and up-level their lives. The Advancing Women Podcast is hosted by Gender Equity Expert and Executive Coach Dr. Kimberly DeSimone.

Information

  • Creator
    Dr. Kimberly DeSimone
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2026
  • Episodes
    165
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2021 All rights reserved.
  • Show Website
    Advancing Women Podcast

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