Advancing Women Podcast

Dr. Kimberly DeSimone

Welcome to the Advancing Women Podcast where ambitious women come together to challenge the status quo, advance their careers, and up-level their lives. The Advancing Women Podcast is hosted by Gender Equity Expert and Executive Coach Dr. Kimberly DeSimone.

  1. Aug 11

    Confidence, Purpose & the Courage to Take Up Space, with Division I Head Coach Kristen Sharkey

    What can a Division I basketball coach teach us about confidence, identity, leadership, and becoming the women we're meant to be? As it turns out…a lot. In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, Dr. Kimberly DeSimone sits down with University at Buffalo Women's Basketball Head Coach Kristen Sharkey for a conversation that goes far beyond the basketball court. The connection began at a women's leadership conference, where several young women who had heard both Kimberly and Sharkey speak insisted the two needed to meet. On the surface, a professor and a Division I basketball coach might seem to occupy very different worlds. But when Sharkey later told Kimberly, “My purpose in what I get to do is to help our young ladies grow into the phenomenal women they are meant to be. Basketball is my tool to do that,” the shared mission became clear. Basketball may be Sharkey's tool. Leadership education and this podcast may be Kimberly's. But both are deeply invested in helping women recognize their potential, find their voices, and become more fully who they are meant to be. Together, they explore what Sharkey has learned from coaching women in one of the most competitive environments imaginable, and why those lessons matter far beyond sports. They talk about: • Why confidence isn't something someone else can give you, and why it is often built through discomfort, mistakes, and getting back up • The complicated relationship women have with ambition and competition, and the double standards that still shape how competitive women are perceived • Competition versus comparison, and how women can pursue their own success while still bringing other women with them • The importance of connection, trust, character, and working toward something bigger than ourselves • How to separate who we are from what we do, especially when things aren't going the way we'd hoped • Why women need to stop apologizing for their opinions and voices • Finding purpose beyond performance and discovering what “sets your soul on fire” This isn't an episode about basketball…It's a conversation about becoming. About learning to trust yourself. It’s about recovering from mistakes rather than being defined by them, about taking your seat at the table, even when you're not entirely sure you belong there, and about becoming the kind of strong woman who brings other women with her! Support Women's Sports: One of the themes that emerges in this conversation is that visibility and investment matter. Women's sports deserve our attention, our attendance, and our support. Coach Sharkey and UB Women's Basketball recently launched the Power of One Campaign, a community fundraising movement built around a simple idea: small individual acts of support can create an enormous collective impact. Support Coach Sharkey and UB Women's Basketball through the Power of One Campaign Buy tickets and support the UB Bulls Women's Basketball team And wherever you live, show up for women's sports. Buy the ticket. Fill the stands. Bring your daughters and your sons. Cheer loudly. Every ticket. Every cheer. Every person in those stands matters. Let’s Connect: Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast  Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast  LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone

  2. Jul 27

    The Shell Game: Why Doing Everything Right Still Isn't Enough

    What if everything you've been told about success is true...just not equally true? For generations, women have been given a roadmap to success. Work hard. Earn the degree. Build your expertise. Develop executive presence. Negotiate. Become exceptional. And millions of women have done exactly that. So why do so many still feel like the finish line keeps moving? In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, Dr. Kimberly DeSimone explores a question that has been at the center of her research, teaching, and leadership work for years: What if the problem isn't that women aren't following the roadmap? What if they're following it exactly? Using the metaphor of the classic street game Three-Card Monte (sometimes called Find the Queen), this episode examines why doing everything "right" doesn't always produce the same outcomes for everyone. Drawing on decades of research in organizational psychology, leadership, gender studies, and behavioral science, Kimberly explores how bias often shifts rather than disappears, as women become more qualified, more accomplished, and closer to positions of power. Rather than asking women to become even more exceptional, this episode asks a different question: What if the system keeps changing the rules? This Episode Explores: Why the traditional success roadmap doesn't always produce equal outcomes Why credentials alone aren't enough Adam Grant's discussion of the research on intelligence and likability Meritocracy: aspiration versus reality, and the "Prove-It-Again" bias The motherhood penalty, fatherhood premium, and the “second shift” Casuistic bias and how evaluation criteria quietly change depending on who possesses the qualifications Why exceptional women are often evaluated differently than exceptional men Why recognizing patterns is the first step toward changing systems Mentioned in This Episode: Walking on Broken Glass by Shannon Nutter & Julia Carrion Joan C. Williams' research on "Prove-It-Again" bias The Second Shift by Arlie Hochschild Continue the Conversation! Have you ever felt like the goalposts moved just as you reached them? I'd love to hear your thoughts. Why not add a comment on the Advancing Women Podcast Instagram page? ·        Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast  ·        Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast  Connect with me on LinkedIn ·        LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone  Please share this episode with someone who needs to hear it and join the conversation. Every conversation helps us move one step closer to changing the game!

  3. Jul 13

    Micro Moments of Summer Joy: Why Tiny Moments Matter More Than Perfect Summers

    Summer has a funny way of becoming another thing to accomplish. The perfect vacation. The perfect family memories. The backyard projects. The bucket list. The pressure to make every sunny day count. But what if we've been measuring summer all wrong? In this episode, Dr. Kimberly DeSimone explores the surprising science behind micro moments of joy…those small, seemingly ordinary experiences that quietly restore our minds, calm our nervous systems, and remind us what it feels like to simply be present. Drawing from Attention Restoration Theory, positive psychology, and Barbara Fredrickson's Broaden-and-Build Theory, you'll discover why a walk outside, an iced coffee on the porch, a favorite song, or ten uninterrupted minutes in the sunshine may be more restorative than we realize. This isn't about escaping your life. It's about finding tiny moments of joy within the life you're already living. Because sometimes the smallest moments change us the most. In this episode: Why our brains need "micro moments" of restoration  The science behind nature, joy, and resilience  Why savoring ordinary moments strengthens well-being  Five gentle ways to experience more joy this summer, without adding another item to your to-do list An Invitation: Steal back ten minutes this week. No multitasking. No guilt. No productivity. Just ten minutes that belong completely to you. Then ask yourself: What is your favorite micro moment of summer joy? Consider sharing your favorite micro moment on the Advancing Women Podcast Instagram Post! Let’s Connect: ·        Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast  ·        Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast  ·        LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone

  4. Jun 30

    Why Are We So Comfortable with Women's Suffering?

    What started as a frustrating battle with my health insurance over a medication that has worked successfully for nearly two years led me to ask a much bigger question: Why are we so comfortable with women's suffering? In this episode, I explore why women's pain is so often treated as "normal"…whether it's menopause, chronic pain, endometriosis, caregiving exhaustion, or countless other experiences that disproportionately affect women. Drawing on current research, personal experience, and Caroline Criado Perez's groundbreaking book Invisible Women, I examine how women's health has historically been under-researched, underfunded, and too often treated as an afterthought. This episode isn't about blaming individual doctors or healthcare providers. It's about understanding how systems evolve and what happens when women's experiences are consistently treated as secondary rather than central. Most importantly, it's about hope. For perhaps the first time in history, women are connecting their experiences at scale. Through research, storytelling, and yes, even social media, women are realizing something profoundly important: It's not just me. When we name what has been invisible, we can finally begin to change it. Explored in this episode: Why my insurance appeal became a much bigger conversation about women's health Why "it's just menopause" may be one of the most harmful phrases we use The surprising lack of menopause education in medical training What current research reveals about reimbursement disparities in healthcare How Invisible Women explains the "gender data gap" Why women's suffering is often normalized rather than solved The role of social media in helping women compare notes, find language, and create change Why naming invisible inequities is the first step toward changing them Resources Mentioned Caroline Criado Perez, Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men Dr. Jocelyn Fitzgerald and colleagues' research on reimbursement disparities in gender-specific surgical procedures. Here is the most recent study: Penn, M., Colley, D., Koirala, P., King, L., & Fitzgerald, J. (2025). Price and prejudice: reimbursement of surgical care on male versus female anatomies. Journal of Women's Health, 34(5), 665-676. R E N É | J A Y 🇭🇹 on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTSjEqurQ/ If this episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear your story. Share it with someone who needs to know they aren't alone. Because every time women share their experiences, the invisible becomes visible. And that's where change begins. Let’s Connect: ·        Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast  ·        Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast  ·        LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone

  5. Jun 15

    The Hidden Cost of Effortless

    What if one of the most common compliments women receive isn't really a compliment at all? In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, Dr. Kimberly DeSimone explores the cultural obsession with "effortlessness" and the hidden costs that accompany it. Inspired by conversations following a recent Women's Leadership Summit, this episode examines how language shapes perception, why precision of language matters, and how the word effortless often conceals the labor, expertise, preparation, and emotional work behind success. From leadership and caregiving to careers and relationships, women are frequently expected not only to achieve, but to make achievement appear easy. The result? Invisible labor, unrealistic expectations, and a growing disconnect between what success looks like and what it actually costs. In this episode: • Why precision of language is a leadership skill • The difference between overwhelm and overfunctioning • How "effortless" can diminish labor and expertise • The hidden burden of invisible work • Duck Syndrome and the pressure to appear unaffected • Why making difficult things look easy is often expected rather than rewarded • How visible effort helps us protect our peace • Why accurately naming the problem is often the first step toward solving it Because maybe what looks effortless isn't effortless at all. Maybe it's expertise. Maybe it's resilience. Maybe it's years of practice. Maybe it's work. And maybe it's time we started calling it that!  #AdvancingWomenPodcast #WomenInLeadership #InvisibleLabor #EmotionalLabor #Leadership #WorkingWomen #Boundaries #ProfessionalDevelopment   Let’s Connect: ·        Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast  ·        Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast  ·        LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone  Referenced: https://shswny.org/duck-syndrome-are-people-what-they-seem/ Akçay, E., & Ohashi, R. (2024). The floating duck syndrome: biased social learning leads to effort–reward imbalances. Evolutionary Human Sciences, 6, e30.

  6. Jun 1

    Life Is Short. Less is BORE. Wear the Ears!

    What if getting dressed became less about managing perception…and more about self-expression and shaping our experience? In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, Dr. DeSimone explores the surprising emotional depth behind something that initially seems lighthearted: overdressing for no reason, Disney ears on a cruise, bold earrings, sparkle, whimsy, and the idea that maybe “less is more” has quietly turned into a life philosophy that asks us all to become smaller versions of ourselves. Inspired by a series of Instagram and TikTok posts about “normalizing overdressing,” “living in gray,” and reclaiming joy, this episode dives into: Why “YOU are the occasion” is such a powerful reframe. The psychology of Enclothed Cognition and how clothing can influence mood, confidence, and emotional experience. The cultural pressure toward neutrality, practicality, and emotional minimization. Why so many women are socialized to tone themselves down and avoid being “too much.” How adulthood became associated with restraint, muted joy, & “emotionally beige” living. The connection between joy, self-expression, visibility, and the concept of Deferred Life. Why reclaiming whimsy may actually be an act of self-reclamation. From Disney ears and pirate night themes to the “closet graveyard” of aspirational purchases and unworn outfits, this episode reflects on what it means to stop postponing aliveness and start fully participating in your own life. Because maybe being “too much” was never actually the problem. Maybe too many of us were simply taught that joy should be quieter than it deserves to be. Key Takeaways: • Less is not always more • Whimsy is not immaturity • Joy is not frivolous • Self-expression is not a character flaw • You do not need a special occasion to fully show up inside your own life So wear the fancy dress. Use the good perfume. Drink the good wine. Wear the ears. Take the photo. Because life is short. And Less is BORE! Mentioned in this episode: Advancing Women Podcast episode: Deferred Life Syndrome: Let’s Stop Waiting & Start Living (May, 2026)  New Conscious World on Instagram/Facebook Reel “You Were Never Supposed to Live in Gray”  Feed Me Gems Official Instagram Reel “3 reasons to NORMALIZE overdressing for no reason”  Enclothed Cognition. Gruber Baitz, R., & Rogaten, J. (2026). Enclothed Cognition: How Clothing Shapes Our Thoughts, Feelings, and Behaviour. In Applied Psychology in Fashion: A Research-Informed Approach (pp. 119-144). Cham: Springer Nature Switzerland. Let’s Connect: Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast  Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast  LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone  #AdvancingWomenPodcast #LessIsBore #LifeIsShortWearTheEars #WomenAndJoy #SelfExpression #DeferredLifeSyndrome #Whimsy #MainCharacterEnergy #WomenSupportingWomen #EmotionalWellbeing #EnclothedCognition

  7. May 19

    Good Moms, Hero Dads, and the Impossible Rules of Parenthood

    Every May, social media fills with beautiful tributes to motherhood. “Moms are superheroes” “A mother’s love knows no bounds" ”Home is where mom is” And that gratitude matters. The acknowledgment matters. But underneath all the flowers, hashtags, “best mom ever” mugs, and brunches…there’s a deeper conversation we don’t have often enough. Motherhood in our society comes with profoundly unequal expectations. Not because men are inherently bad partners or uninvolved fathers. But because women and men are often socialized very differently around caregiving, sacrifice, emotional labor, and identity. Women are frequently taught that being a “good mom” means sacrifice. It means anticipating needs, absorbing discomfort, prioritizing others, smoothing conflict, and holding everything together. Mothers are expected to professionally manage childhood. Dads, meanwhile, are often praised for participation. And those are not the same expectations! And the consequences of those expectations show up everywhere: in the motherhood penalty, in the fatherhood bonus, in emotional labor, in Overfunctioning, in burnout, and in the guilt women often carry no matter what choices they make. Stay home? You’re wasting your potential. Work full time? You’re letting someone else raise your kids. Try to do both? Now you feel like you’re failing in two places simultaneously. And perhaps most painfully, women are often made to feel guilty for acknowledging any complexity in motherhood at all. As though saying “this is hard” somehow diminishes love. But human beings are capable of feeling multiple things at once. You can deeply love your children…AND still feel exhausted. You can feel grateful for motherhood…AND still feel yourself wilting under impossible expectations. Those things are not contradictions. They are part of being human. One of the most important reframes I’ve learned through years of researching gender, leadership, and emotional labor is this…sometimes women are not overwhelmed…they’re Overfunctioning! Carrying the logistics, the emotions, the remembering, the planning, the anticipating, and often the emotional equilibrium of everyone around them. And eventually, that takes a toll. Women do not wilt because they are weak. Women wilt because they are expected to endlessly bloom without being watered themselves. That’s not an individual failure. That’s a cultural conversation worth having! #tunein #advancingwomenpodcast Advancing Women Podcast Episodes referenced in this episode: Overwhelmed or Overfunctioning? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/overwhelmed-or-overfunctioning-how-the-language/id1569849100?i=1000756866647 All Women are Defective! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/all-women-are-defective/id1569849100?i=1000527934727 Let’s Connect: ·        Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/?hl=en ·        Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ ·        LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

  8. May 4

    Deferred Life Syndrome: Let’s Stop Waiting & Start Living!

    What if the greatest loss in your life isn’t failure, burnout, or even heartbreak, but the quiet absence of moments that make you feel alive? In this episode, we explore Deferred Life Syndrome…the pattern of postponing joy, rest, and meaningful experiences for “later.” After the busy season. After things calm down. After everything lines up perfectly. But what if that “later” never actually comes? Drawing on research around regret, lived experience, and the realities of modern life, especially for women navigating invisible labor and constant expectations, this episode challenges the myth of the perfect time and offers a more grounded, empowering alternative. This is not about abandoning responsibility. It’s not about living recklessly. It’s about building a life you actually experience, not just manage. In This Episode, We Explore: Why “I’ll do it later” quietly becomes a life pattern The concept of Deferred Life Syndrome and how it shows up What end-of-life research reveals about regret The hidden cost of productivity over presence Why “less busy” is a myth The power of thinking in seasons, not perfection How small, intentional moments can interrupt autopilot Moving from “someday” to “here’s how” The goal isn’t to wait for a life that feels alive. The goal is to stop deferring and start living it. Right here. Right now. In whatever way you can. If this episode resonated, share it with someone who needs permission to stop waiting. Listen, Subscribe, Connect! Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast  Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast  LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone

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5
out of 5
128 Ratings

About

Welcome to the Advancing Women Podcast where ambitious women come together to challenge the status quo, advance their careers, and up-level their lives. The Advancing Women Podcast is hosted by Gender Equity Expert and Executive Coach Dr. Kimberly DeSimone.

Information

  • Creator
    Dr. Kimberly DeSimone
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2026
  • Episodes
    160
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2021 All rights reserved.
  • Show Website
    Advancing Women Podcast

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