NeuroDiverse Christian Couples

Dr. Stephanie Holmes
  • 4.9 (77)
  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Like all couples, NeuroDiverse (AS/NT) Christian couples face challenges with communication and connection. Those challenges are nuanced in a way that most couples, therapists, and clergy don't typically recognize. Often NeuroDiverse Couples have children on the spectrum (or or other differences), this podcast will dedicate topics to the NeuroDiverse Couple as well as issues that may arise in spectrum or special needs family systems. We invite you to learn about NeuroDiverse Christian couples to understand those aspects more fully.

  1. PART 2 - Is your NeuroDiverse Christian Coach_Counsel Gold Standard with ND Peer Panel

    3D AGO

    PART 2 - Is your NeuroDiverse Christian Coach_Counsel Gold Standard with ND Peer Panel

    Welcome back to part 2 of the Gold Standard of Care! If you did not hear part one, go back to January 19th to hear the panel introductions and what we believe is the Gold standard of care! We talk through some myths and stereotypes and share some truths about autism/neurodiversity and marriage. Jeremy tackles: Should you force a neurodivergent partner to undergo assessment? Barbara: Neurodiversity is not the ONLY issue in your marriage. Jenilee: Autism can express itself differently in girls/women Robin: Emotional Regulation is part of Executive Function and is not a character issue Shawna: It is a fallacy that ND people should be encouraged to watch porn to learn how to have sex or what their spouses would like in their intimate life Dan: While you may never achieve the level of empath as an ND/AS husband, you can become more relational Stephanie: What is the cause of autism? How to read research critically. The study Dr. Stephanie mentions that holds a high standard of research credibility: Association of Genetic and Environmental Factors With Autism in a 5-Country Cohort

(2019) FULL study available: journals/jamapsychiatry/fullarticle/2737582

    45 min
  2. Only Chasing Safety Humanizes Both Spouses with Jeremy Rochford

    FEB 9

    Only Chasing Safety Humanizes Both Spouses with Jeremy Rochford

    Today, our guest is Jeremy Rochford of NeuroFM and a fellow Neurodiverse couples' coach! Jeremy is a regular on Just the Guys, and today he talks about his coaching model, Only Chasing Safety (OCS). Why is safety important, and is it okay to rob someone else's safety for your safety?

    43 min
  3. How and Who You Love Shapes Who You Are

    FEB 2

    How and Who You Love Shapes Who You Are

    Today, in the month of love, we talk about sacrificial love in your neurodiverse marriage. Many view this month of love and Valentine's Day as a day for big romantic gestures, but what about living out love every day? How is your love beneficial and sacrificial without giving up yourself? Dying to yourself does mean abandonment of self, but often there are competing needs and wants in an ND marriage. Part 2 will be on Patreon, and we will share more of what is going on in our personal lives, how, and what this means for us right now! Are you able to join hands or lock arms in hard times? Are you walking through life as friends, lovers, enemies, or strangers?

    32 min
  4. Black Friday, Cul de Sacs and Happy New Next

    JAN 26

    Black Friday, Cul de Sacs and Happy New Next

    Summary:   In this first episode of the year, the guys crack open the idea of what it means to be new—not just with gym memberships and resolutions, but deep in the rewiring of old patterns, assumptions, and emotional blind spots.  Dan kicks things off by admitting his old “default setting” was to walk in the door wondering what he’d done wrong—proof that sometimes the battlefield is the hallway between the garage and the living room. From there, Jeremy confesses his own default: being right about everything. But a surprising comment from his son at a hockey game (“There’s so much more going on than what’s on TV”) hits him like a puck to the head and opens up a whole new way of seeing relationships.  Kevin brings in the pastor’s line, “Do you want to be right, or do you want to win?”—and discovers that relational victory doesn’t always mean keeping score. Dan, meanwhile, reflects on curiosity as an antidote to assumption, while Jeff learns that geology may rock, but people matter more.  Between dad jokes about rock stars, cul-de-sacs, and Fraggle Rock sing-alongs, the group lands somewhere between reflection and revelation:  Becoming aware of your patterns. Accepting feedback without self-defense. Taking action toward connection, not correction.   By the end, they circle back to hope. If yesterday was about living on autopilot, this year is about choosing manual drive. “Participating in my own discovery,” Dan quips, “gives me the opportunity to participate in my own recovery.”  So whether you’re trying to read a face, repair a marriage, or just survive mornings before coffee, this conversation reminds you—every default can be rewritten.  Pull Quotes  “There’s so much more going on than what’s on the screen.” “Do you want to be right, or do you want to win?” “Participating in my own discovery gives me the opportunity to participate in my own recovery.”  #justtheguys #danholmes #actuallyautistic #neurodiversecoupletips #neurodiverse men

    42 min
  5. PART 1 - Is your NeuroDiverse Christian Coach_Counsel Gold Standard with ND Peer Panel

    JAN 19

    PART 1 - Is your NeuroDiverse Christian Coach_Counsel Gold Standard with ND Peer Panel

    NeuroDiverse Christian Couples

    42 min
  6. NEW Lens NEW Perspective: NeuroDiversity is the New Piece Not the Only Piece

    JAN 12

    NEW Lens NEW Perspective: NeuroDiversity is the New Piece Not the Only Piece

    New year - new you- or at least a new perspective of yourself and your neurodiverse marriage! So many times, once the diagnosis is made, the sole focus can become the autism/neurodiversity, but Dr. Stephanie & Barbara talk about the many complexities that make up a neurodiverse Christian marriage!

    51 min
  7. Atomic Habits for the New Year for Your NeuroDiverse Relationship Part 1

    JAN 5

    Atomic Habits for the New Year for Your NeuroDiverse Relationship Part 1

    It's 2026, and Dan and Stephanie start our podcast series this year on Atomic Habits. The month of January is all about NEW! Remember, Patreon is new! Part 2 of the discussion is on Patreon. In Atomic Habits, James Clear reminds us that real change doesn’t come from dramatic overhauls but from small, consistent actions that add up over time. For neurodiverse marriages, this principle is especially powerful. Many couples feel stuck because change seems overwhelming or unpredictable. But Clear’s 1% rule—tiny improvements repeated daily—offers a realistic, hopeful path forward for both partners. Clear also emphasizes identity formation, teaching that habits don’t just shape what we do; they shape who we believe we are. “Every action is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.” This aligns beautifully with the work Dan and Stephanie bring in from Dr. Jim Wilder, who teaches that identity is formed through relational attachment, joy, and repeated experiences of being our best self with others. When neurodiverse couples practice small relational habits—brief check-ins, shared cues, predictable routines—they aren’t only improving communication; they're also building trust. They are reinforcing a shared identity as a couple who grow, learns, and repair together. Starting small is essential for neurodiverse relationships. A five-minute conversation, one shared calendar habit, a single expression of appreciation, or one consistent environmental cue (like a reminder note or visual schedule) can be far more effective than trying to overhaul everything at once. Slow, steady repetition makes habits dependable, which builds trust and safety—core needs for both neurodiverse and neurotypical partners. The message is simple and deeply encouraging: meaningful change in a neurodiverse marriage doesn’t require perfection or intensity. It requires small, steady steps and a shared commitment to becoming the couple God is forming you to be—one daily habit at a time.

    35 min
  8. From Victim Mindset to Staying Well in your Neurodiverse Marriage with Leslie Vernick

    12/29/2025

    From Victim Mindset to Staying Well in your Neurodiverse Marriage with Leslie Vernick

    NeuroDiverse Christian Couples

    50 min
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About

Like all couples, NeuroDiverse (AS/NT) Christian couples face challenges with communication and connection. Those challenges are nuanced in a way that most couples, therapists, and clergy don't typically recognize. Often NeuroDiverse Couples have children on the spectrum (or or other differences), this podcast will dedicate topics to the NeuroDiverse Couple as well as issues that may arise in spectrum or special needs family systems. We invite you to learn about NeuroDiverse Christian couples to understand those aspects more fully.

Information

  • Creator
    Dr. Stephanie Holmes
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2026
  • Episodes
    268
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2021+ Dr. Stephanie and Dan Holmes
  • Show Website
    NeuroDiverse Christian Couples

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