NeuroDiverse Christian Couples

Dr. Stephanie Holmes
  • 4.8 (82)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

Like all couples, NeuroDiverse (AS/NT) Christian couples face challenges with communication and connection. Those challenges are nuanced in a way that most couples, therapists, and clergy don't typically recognize. Often NeuroDiverse Couples have children on the spectrum (or or other differences), this podcast will dedicate topics to the NeuroDiverse Couple as well as issues that may arise in spectrum or special needs family systems. We invite you to learn about NeuroDiverse Christian couples to understand those aspects more fully.

  1. 4d ago

    Identity Crisis, Underdeveloped Identity and Building Identity in Autism

    Dr. Stephanie is solo today, bringing in research about autism and identity and how it leads to issues with attachment and addiction. Bringing together the discussions on attachment is the way out of addiction not willpower alone. Why does one addiction pop up when you master another? How is Attachment related to Addiction? Why do autistic folks struggle with an integrated identity (thoughts from Dr. Tony Attwood and Dr. Jim Wilder). How does identity relate to attachment and addiction? Some introductory thoughts on the topic. An older podcast with Dr. Wilder and identity: https://www.spreaker.com/episode/identity-attachment-your-neurodiverse-relationship-with-dr-jim-wilder--67855836 Dr. Wilder/Life Model: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Np62L3yHM5o&t=3s Build a Brain: https://lifemodelworks.org/resources/watch/build-a-brain Dr. Tony's website: Self-identity https://www.attwoodandgarnettevents.com/blogs/news/self-identity-and-autism-why-does-it-matter

    Identity Crisis, Underdeveloped Identity and Building Identity in Autism

  2. Aug 10

    Love, Sex & Autism with Guest Candice Christiansen

    Love, Sex & Autism: Building Intimacy Through Safety, Not PressureWhat does a healthy sexual relationship look like in a neurodiverse marriage? In this episode, Dr. Stephanie Holmes and Barbara Grant welcome back Candice Christiansen, LCMHC, Autism-ADHD specialist and author of Love, Sex & Autism. Candice previously joined us to discuss the significant overlap between autism, ADHD, and addiction. That previous show is here:  This time, the conversation turns to one of the most requested—and often misunderstood—topics in neurodiverse relationships: sex and intimacy. The past show with Candice: https://www.spreaker.com/episode/porn-sex-addiction-sexuality-autism-with-candice-christiansen--67047295 Together they explore: Why autism and ADHD can influence sexual desire in very different waysHypersexuality, compulsive sexual behaviors, and sexual addictionLow libido and desire discrepancies between partnersSensory sensitivities and how they affect intimacyThe role of trauma, shame, and emotional safetyHow differences in communication can create misunderstanding around sexWhy pressure, coercion, obligation, and manipulation damage intimacyHow couples can accommodate differing libidos with compassion and mutual respectThe central message of this conversation is that healthy intimacy is not measured by frequency or performance. Lasting sexual connection grows from mutual safety, trust, compassion, emotional connection, and genuine concern for one another's well-being. Especially in neurodiverse marriages, where sensory differences, communication challenges, and differing sexual needs may exist, intimacy flourishes when both partners feel emotionally and physically safe, free from coercion, compulsions, addiction, guilt, or pressure. Whether you are navigating high libido, low libido, sensory differences, or simply seeking a healthier understanding of intimacy, this conversation offers practical insights and hope for building a relationship where both partners can experience mutual pleasure, respect, and connection. About Our GuestCandice Christiansen, LCMHC is an Autistic-ADHD autism expert who provides neuro-affirming consultation and training to medical and mental health providers, universities, treatment centers, and organizations. She is passionate about ensuring that autistic individuals receive ethical, neuro-inclusive medical and mental health support in treatment settings addressing mental health, substance use, sex, and intimacy. She is the author of Love, Sex & Autism.  Barbara Grant mentioned being able to assess for autism- make an Appointment! https://bg-hc.com/  About the MIGDAS-2 and why Adults Should be Assessed with MIGDAS-2 https://www.spreaker.com/episode/migdas-2-and-adult-asd-evaluations-with-dr-donna-berghauser--62693428 https://www.spreaker.com/episode/diagnosing-autism-early-intervention-the-ados-cars-migdas-2--71839330

    Love, Sex & Autism with Guest Candice Christiansen

  3. Aug 3

    How the ND Brain May Be Wired for Pseudo Joy/Pseudo Peace, BEEPS and Addiction with Ed Khouri

    Today, we are talking about addiction and why the ADHD or ASD brain seems to be more prone to addictive behaviors, or substance or porn addiction, with addiction specialist Ed Khouri. Links below will share some articles that support the discussion. Ed Khouri is a co-author of Joy Starts Here and author of the Face of Grace. Today, we talk about how joy and peace are needed in the brain, how ADHD and ASD brains lack or have compromised dopamine receptors, and how this sets someone up for BEEPS seeking pseudo joy or pseudo peace and can take any special interest and turn it into a BEEPS.  About Ed Khouri https://www.equippinghearts.com/our-team  For more than 40 years, Ed Khouri has worked with substance abusers and their families in diverse settings. Serving as a pastoral counselor, trainer, and writer, Ed’s work has encompassed outpatient counseling, jails, and transitional housing for homeless addicts in all phases of residential treatment. He even provided daily supervision for all therapeutic services and staff in a 96-bed state-licensed substance abuse treatment program.  Today, as an experienced trainer, Ed leads workshops in churches and ministries worldwide, equipping workers to serve hurting men and women in their own communities. He regularly trains and collaborates with ministries, including Thrive Today, The International Substance Abuse and Addiction Coalition (ISAAC), and Youth With A Mission's Addictive Behavior Counseling School.  Ed has a B.A. in Behavioral and Social Sciences and began his Master’s Program at the University of Florida. Ordained in 1988, he is the president of Equipping Hearts.  Ed has written several books, including The Restarting Workbook and Facilitator’s Guide. Together with Dr. E. James Wilder, Ed co-authored several books and training materials: The Connexus Program, Belonging, and Joy Starts Here: The Transformation Zone.    Dopamine articles What’s the Deal With Dopamine and ADHD? | Psychology Today  Frontiers | Dopamine in Autism Spectrum Disorders—Focus on D2/D3 Partial Agonists and Their Possible Use in Treatment

    How the ND Brain May Be Wired for Pseudo Joy/Pseudo Peace, BEEPS and Addiction with Ed Khouri

  4. Jul 27

    You Get What You Pay For (Invest Wisely)

    Every marriage is being built one choice at a time—even the choices we don't make.  In this episode of Just the Guys, we talk about the gap between intentions and impact, why many men accidentally build a marriage they never intended, and what happens when we move from simply maintaining a relationship to intentionally investing in it.  Using analogies of home ownership, repairs, coaching, and personal growth, we explore why asking for help is often so difficult, what keeps us stuck, and how small decisions compound over time into something far greater than we imagined.  The question isn't whether you're building something.  The question is: What are you building?

    You Get What You Pay For (Invest Wisely)

  5. Jul 20

    Self-Care, No Life Care for Wives and Moms in NeuroDiverse Family Systems with Christina Marie

    Today, we talk about self-care and neurodiverse marriage and family life with podcaster Christina Marie.  Christina says about herself: Hey, I’m Christina—married 18 years to a neurodiverse man and mom of three neurodiverse kids. For years, I tried to fix our home environment, hoping to ease the sensory and communication challenges in my neurodiverse family. But no matter how much I read or how many Christian experts I listened to, nothing bridged the gap between meeting everyone else’s needs and caring for myself. I was exhausted carrying so many responsibilities while my needs were unmet. My husband was frustrated with his limitations and didn’t know what to do. My neurodiverse kids needed my help to navigate a world they didn’t always understand, but their meltdowns and challenges were overwhelming and exhausting at times. My health began to decline as I focused on making our marriage and home life optimal for my spouse and kids to prevent the cycle of problems. I reached a breaking point when I realized that prioritizing my well-being wasn’t selfish—it was essential. That’s when I turned to simple planning solutions to create space for self-care.  Christina's podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/neurodiverse-family-life-reclaiming-self-care-for-moms/id1788688761  Kickstarter Page: Kickstarer approved my prelaunch page, here is the link: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/cmpaperie/1010152524?ref=7xcfhs  FYI, I renamed my podcast to Neurodiverse Family Life.

    Self-Care, No Life Care for Wives and Moms in NeuroDiverse Family Systems with Christina Marie

  6. Jul 13

    Whole Brain Healing & Safety First

    So many times, couples in crisis when they get to coaching. Today Barbara Grant and Dr.Stephanie talk about grace and space, resetting your brain, and taking time to heal before doing the couples' work. To find a group Dr. Stephanie or Barb mentioned groups for women based on whole brain healing. Barb's https://bg-hc.com/2026-groups Dr. Stephanie's https://www.holmesasr.com/womengroups

    Whole Brain Healing & Safety First

  7. Jul 6

    The Church, the Brain, and Transformation with the Pastors Who Brought us NeuroTheology

    This one was an emotional one to make. We sat down with the pastors who are now in transition to another part of their journey. We talk about their impact on us as a couple and on the church, and how we came to know Dr. Jim Wilder, LifeModel Works, Neurotheology, and more! Dan talks about how he went from showing up at church and having intellectual knowledge of Jesus to an attached relationship with Jesus and the impact on him, our marriage, and how he does life and relationships!  Fall classes are open for registration- we believe change and transformation happens in groups! www.HolmesASR.com Groups for Men Groups for Women One on Communication- Feedback!  Dan's groups fill quickly and often have wait lists! Groups are required for any onboarding work with Dr. Stephanie/Dan.

    The Church, the Brain, and Transformation with the Pastors Who Brought us NeuroTheology

  8. Jun 29

    Weaponized Scripture When is it Abuse with Thomas Pryde

    This month, we examined weaponized Scriptures, and today we talk with Thomas Pryde of Psalm 82 Initiative to talk about, When is it Abuse? Thomas said a healthy relationship uses whatever power you have to help others, not harm them, and when you love someone, freedom abounds, but freedom is not anarchy. What does that mean? Join us for the discussion. We started with the definition of abuse from the Department of Justice website: https://www.justice.gov/ovw/domestic-violence Thomas Pryde said that the Abuser Is Entitled Wants Control Uses Coercion Expects Compliance How does neurodiversity play into this? We asked Thomas about the crossover of neurodiversity in the dynamics of what he sees over the decades and he sees a high crossover. If you are in an abusive situation and need guidance or support- https://www.psalm82initiative.org/refuge You are in danger: If you are a domestic violence victim seeking help, here are some resources: National Domestic Violence Hotline: Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or chat online for 24/7 support and local advocacy WomensLaw.org.DomesticShelters.org: Search for community shelters and programs to connect with local advocates and access tools to escape domestic abuse domesticshelters.org.Live Support: Speak to a live advocate through the National Domestic Violence Hotline for confidential support thehotline.org.State Resources: Find resources and programs in your state that provide support for women who have experienced abuse Office on Women's Health.Comprehensive Resources: Explore various resources for survivors, including hotlines, shelters, and legal assistance domesticviolence.org.   Is your marriage difficult or destructive/abusive? https://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/marriage/staying-married/resolving-conflict/emotionally-destructive-relationship-questionnaire/  Need Discernment Coaching? Is this autism or abuse? https://bg-hc.com/ Are you a woman in ministry/mission or married to someone in ministry in an ND marriage needing discernment coaching? https://jenileerachel.com/contact/  Are you looking for resources to navigate the court system- what do I need to know? Other Resources for Christian Women in Abusive Marriage: Sarah McDugal https://www.wildernesstowild.com/  Life Saving divorce: https://lifesavingdivorce.com/about/

    Weaponized Scripture When is it Abuse with Thomas Pryde
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About

Like all couples, NeuroDiverse (AS/NT) Christian couples face challenges with communication and connection. Those challenges are nuanced in a way that most couples, therapists, and clergy don't typically recognize. Often NeuroDiverse Couples have children on the spectrum (or or other differences), this podcast will dedicate topics to the NeuroDiverse Couple as well as issues that may arise in spectrum or special needs family systems. We invite you to learn about NeuroDiverse Christian couples to understand those aspects more fully.

Information

  • Creator
    Dr. Stephanie Holmes
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2026
  • Episodes
    294
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2021+ Dr. Stephanie and Dan Holmes
  • Show Website
    NeuroDiverse Christian Couples

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