The Art of Raising Humans

Parenting Legacy
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Kyle and Sara Wester are Licensed Professional Counselors (LPCs) with over 20 years experience working with children and teenagers in Tulsa, Oklahoma.Their podcast will help you parent from a place of freedom, love, and courage. Their passion is to help you uncover areas of fear and shame in your parenting and inspire you to empower your children to become healthy adults.They use the latest research in neuroscience coupled with their own experience raising 3 children.

  1. 23H AGO

    Why Kids & Teens Get Sneaky (And How to Respond Without Breaking Trust) (Episode 202)

    Why do kids and teens become sneaky?   If you’ve caught your child lying, hiding things, sneaking screens, deleting messages, or leaving out important details, you know how painful and triggering it can feel. Sneaky behavior often hits deep — it can feel like betrayal, disrespect, or a breakdown in trust.   But what if sneakiness isn’t a character flaw? In this episode of Art of Raising Humans, Kyle and Sara Wester explore the real reasons kids and teens become secretive, and what parents can do to respond in ways that actually rebuild trust instead of pushing honesty further underground.   You’ll learn: • Why sneakiness is often a learned survival strategy • The brain science behind hiding and dishonesty • How fear of punishment or disappointment fuels secrecy • Why control without collaboration increases sneaky behavior • What makes honesty feel safe again • Practical ways to respond without escalating the power struggle   Drawing from attachment research, nervous system science, and leading parenting experts, this conversation helps you shift from interrogation to curiosity, from shame to skill-building, and from control to connection.   Your job isn’t to raise a child who never lies. Your job is to raise a child who feels safe enough to return to the truth.   If you’re parenting a child or teen who has started hiding things, this episode will help you understand what’s really happening, and how to create lasting change without breaking the relationship.   View the full podcast transcript at:  https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/why-kids-teens-get-sneaky-and-how-to-respond-without-breaking-trust   Visit our website and social media channels for more valuable content for your parenting journey.   Resource Website:  https://www.artofraisinghumans.com Video Courses:  https://art-of-raising-humans.newzenler.com/ Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/artofraisinghumans Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/artofraisinghumans Podcast Website:  https://www.theartofraisinghumans.com Book List: https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/booklist   The Art of Raising Humans podcast should not be considered or used as counseling but for educational purposes only.

    32 min

  2. MAR 2

    Why Teens Shut Down After Arguments (And How to Build a Relationship Where They Want to Talk) (Episode 201)

    If you’ve ever tried to repair a conflict with your teen only to be met with silence, shrugs, or a closed door, you are not alone.   In this episode of Art of Raising Humans, Kyle and Sara Wester unpack what’s actually happening when teens shut down after arguments and why pushing for conversation too quickly often backfires.   Here’s the reframe many parents need to hear: When teens go quiet, it usually isn’t rejection — it’s nervous system protection.   You’ll learn how stress and activation impact your teen’s ability to talk, why past patterns still shape how safe your child feels, and what actually helps rebuild connection after hard moments.   If you want a relationship where your child chooses to talk, not one where you have to pull it out of them, this episode will give you a clear, brain-based path forward. In this episode, we cover: Why teens often shut down after conflictWhat the nervous system is doing underneath the silenceWhy “let’s talk about it” can backfireHow parents accidentally increase shutdownThe difference between rejection and protectionPractical ways to help your teen feel safe enough to open upHow to repair without forcing a full conversationWhat builds long-term emotional safety with teenagers  Your job is not to force openness; it’s to become someone openness feels safe with.   View the full podcast transcript at:  https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/why-teens-shut-down-after-arguments-and-how-to-build-a-relationship-where-they-want-to-talk   Visit our website and social media channels for more valuable content for your parenting journey.   Resource Website:  https://www.artofraisinghumans.com Video Courses:  https://art-of-raising-humans.newzenler.com/ Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/artofraisinghumans Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/artofraisinghumans Podcast Website:  https://www.theartofraisinghumans.com Book List: https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/booklist   The Art of Raising Humans podcast should not be considered or used as counseling but for educational purposes only.

    36 min

  3. FEB 23

    How to Build a Relationship Your Child Won't Need Distance From (Episode 200)

    Celebrating 200 episodes with one of our most important parenting conversations.   You’ve seen the pattern: a child leaves for college… and the connection fades. Fewer calls. Fewer visits. Nothing went wrong but the closeness isn’t the same. Here’s what most parents miss: Connection usually isn’t lost in college. It’s lost when the parenting role never evolves. In this episode of Art of Raising Humans, we break down the two essential shifts that protect long-term connection with your teen and young adult.   Discover the two shifts every parent must make: moving from manager to coach and learning how to handle hard conversations without losing connection.   Bottom line: Your goal isn’t control, it’s building a relationship your child doesn’t need distance from. In This Episode: Why parents often lose connection before collegeWhen to shift from manager to coachThe beliefs that keep teens coming backHow to communicate through disagreementWhat brain science says about emerging adulthoodView the full podcast transcript at:  https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/how-to-build-a-relationship-your-child-wont-need-distance-from   Visit our website and social media channels for more valuable content for your parenting journey.   Resource Website:  https://www.artofraisinghumans.com Video Courses:  https://art-of-raising-humans.newzenler.com/ Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/artofraisinghumans Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/artofraisinghumans Podcast Website:  https://www.theartofraisinghumans.com Book List: https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/booklist   The Art of Raising Humans podcast should not be considered or used as counseling but for educational purposes only.

    34 min

  4. FEB 16

    When to Push and When to Back Off: How to Build Perseverance Without Breaking Your Child’s Spirit (Episode 199)

    In this episode of Art of Raising Humans, Kyle and Sara tackle one of the most emotionally loaded parenting questions: When should you push your child to persevere and when is it healthier to back off?   Parents often worry that letting kids quit will undermine grit, confidence, or future success. But pushing too hard can erode trust, increase anxiety, and disconnect kids from their own sense of agency. So how do you know the difference?   This episode breaks down the brain science behind perseverance, the role of emotional safety in growth, and how to support kids through challenge without breaking their spirit. You’ll learn how to recognize when struggle is productive, when stress has tipped into overwhelm, and how thoughtful backing off can actually increase long-term resilience.   If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re building perseverance—or protecting your own anxiety—this conversation will help you find the middle ground.   In this episode, we discuss: The difference between perseverance and endurance at all costsHow brain development impacts persistenceSigns pushing is helpful vs harmfulWhy trust and regulation come before growth  View the full podcast transcript at:  https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/when-to-push-and-when-to-back-off-how-to-build-perseverance-without-breaking-your-childs-spirit   Visit our website and social media channels for more valuable content for your parenting journey.   Resource Website:  https://www.artofraisinghumans.com Video Courses:  https://art-of-raising-humans.newzenler.com/ Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/artofraisinghumans Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/artofraisinghumans Podcast Website:  https://www.theartofraisinghumans.com Book List: https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/booklist   The Art of Raising Humans podcast should not be considered or used as counseling but for educational purposes only.

    37 min

  5. FEB 9

    Kirk & Casey Martin: How Dads Build Trust, Emotional Safety, and Real Connection with Their Kids (Episode 198)

    This episode of Art of Raising Humans features a powerful conversation with Kirk Martin and his son Casey Martin on modern fatherhood, emotional safety, and trust.   Kirk shares his journey from reactive parenting to connection-based leadership, while Casey reflects on what it was like to experience that change as a child. Together, they explore how kids test consistency before they trust it, why emotional vulnerability in dads matters, and how real connection is built over time—not in perfect moments.   This episode is especially meaningful for dads who want deeper relationships with their kids and for parents learning that growth, repair, and trust happen slowly—and relationally.   In this episode, we discuss: Emotional vulnerability and strength in fatherhoodHow children respond when parents begin to changeWhy trust is built through consistency, not wordsThe impact of ADHD on parenting and connectionWhat kids can teach parents when we’re willing to listen  View the full podcast transcript at:  https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/kirk-casey-martin-how-dads-build-trust-emotional-safety-and-real-connection-with-their-kids   Visit our website and social media channels for more valuable content for your parenting journey.   Resource Website:  https://www.artofraisinghumans.com Video Courses:  https://art-of-raising-humans.newzenler.com/ Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/artofraisinghumans Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/artofraisinghumans Podcast Website:  https://www.theartofraisinghumans.com Book List: https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/booklist   The Art of Raising Humans podcast should not be considered or used as counseling but for educational purposes only.

    56 min

  6. FEB 2

    Why Parents Misread Their Kid's Behavior and How Brain Science Changes the Way You Respond (Episode 197)

    As parents, we often believe we know why our kids behave the way they do. We assume intentions, assign meaning to their actions, and respond from that story, often when we are stressed, tired, or triggered.   But what if those assumptions are wrong?   In this episode of Art of Raising Humans, we explore one of the most common and overlooked parenting mistakes, mind reading our children. This happens when we assume we know their motives without actually checking.   We unpack why the parent brain does this under stress, what brain science and child development tell us about behavior, and how these assumptions quietly erode connection, trust, and cooperation, especially with tweens and teens.   In this episode, you will learn: • Why the human brain jumps to negative interpretations under stress • How nervous system dysregulation leads parents to misread behavior • Why kids often cannot articulate their own motives and what that means for discipline • How curiosity builds safety, honesty, and long term behavior change • What it looks like to assume the best without losing boundaries • Practical ways to pause assumptions and respond with clarity and connection   This episode is for parents who want to move beyond control, power struggles, and miscommunication and toward deeper understanding, cooperation, and trust. You do not need to read your child’s mind.   You need to make space for their voice.   View the full podcast transcript at:  https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/why-parents-misread-their-kids-behavior-and-how-brain-science-changes-the-way-you-respond   Visit our website and social media channels for more valuable content for your parenting journey.   Resource Website:  https://www.artofraisinghumans.com  Video Courses:  https://art-of-raising-humans.newzenler.com/  Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/artofraisinghumans  Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/artofraisinghumans  Podcast Website:  https://www.theartofraisinghumans.com  Book List: https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/booklist    The Art of Raising Humans podcast should not be considered or used as counseling but for educational purposes only.

    31 min

  7. JAN 26

    Forgive Yourself And Keep Growing: Why Self-Compassion Only Works After Responsibility (Episode 196)

    Parents are often told to “forgive yourself” or “you’re doing great.” While well intentioned, that message often falls flat for parents who are thoughtful, reflective, and deeply invested in their growth.   In this episode of Art of Raising Humans, we explore why self-forgiveness is most effective when it comes after responsibility, reflection, and repair. We explain the brain science behind shame, learning, and nervous system regulation, and why skipping reflection can keep parents stuck in cycles of guilt rather than growth.   You’ll learn how shame activates the brain’s threat system, why responsibility is different from self-criticism, and what actually allows parents to change patterns without burning out. We also share a practical framework for reflection, repair, and growth that makes self-compassion feel earned rather than hollow.   This episode is for parents who care deeply, are unlearning inherited patterns, and want to keep growing without shame driving their parenting.   View the full podcast transcript at:  https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/forgive-yourself-and-keep-growing-why-self-compassion-only-works-after-responsibility   Visit our website and social media channels for more valuable content for your parenting journey.   Resource Website:  https://www.artofraisinghumans.com  Video Courses:  https://art-of-raising-humans.newzenler.com/  Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/artofraisinghumans  Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/artofraisinghumans  Podcast Website:  https://www.theartofraisinghumans.com  Book List: https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/booklist    The Art of Raising Humans podcast should not be considered or used as counseling but for educational purposes only.

    34 min

  8. JAN 19

    How Parents Sabotage Habits in Kids (and What Actually Helps Them Stick) (Episode 195)

    Most parents want their children to be responsible, capable, and independent. But when it comes to building habits, morning routines, homework, chores, hygiene, emotional regulation, many well-intentioned parents accidentally sabotage the process without realizing it.   In this episode of Art of Raising Humans, Kyle and Sara break down the most common ways parents unintentionally derail habit building in kids, tweens, and teens, and what actually helps habits stick without nagging, shaming, or taking over.   You’ll learn why becoming the reminder, lecturing, rescuing, using shame, or expecting adult-level consistency backfires and how habits grow instead through ownership, scaffolding, realistic expectations, and nervous-system safety.   This episode covers: Why habits fail when parents carry the responsibilityHow shame, anger, and pressure shut down learningWhat to do instead of lecturing or remindingHow to use visual supports and external reminders effectivelyWhy consistency matters more than perfectionHow to scaffold habits without creating dependenceWhat repair looks like when things fall apart  This conversation reframes habit building as a developmental skill, not a motivation problem and offers practical tools parents can use immediately to reduce power struggles and build lasting responsibility.   If you’re tired of repeating yourself and wondering why habits won’t stick, this episode will help you stop unintentionally getting in the way and start supporting real growth.   View the full podcast transcript at:  https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/how-parents-sabotage-habits-in-kids-and-what-actually-helps-them-stick   Visit our website and social media channels for more valuable content for your parenting journey.   Resource Website:  https://www.artofraisinghumans.com  Video Courses:  https://art-of-raising-humans.newzenler.com/  Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/artofraisinghumans  Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/artofraisinghumans  Podcast Website:  https://www.theartofraisinghumans.com  Book List: https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/booklist    The Art of Raising Humans podcast should not be considered or used as counseling but for educational purposes only.

    33 min
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4.9
out of 5
81 Ratings

About

Kyle and Sara Wester are Licensed Professional Counselors (LPCs) with over 20 years experience working with children and teenagers in Tulsa, Oklahoma.Their podcast will help you parent from a place of freedom, love, and courage. Their passion is to help you uncover areas of fear and shame in your parenting and inspire you to empower your children to become healthy adults.They use the latest research in neuroscience coupled with their own experience raising 3 children.

Information

  • Creator
    Parenting Legacy
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2026
  • Episodes
    202
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 The Art of Raising Humans
  • Show Website
    The Art of Raising Humans

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