The Adoption Files

Ande Stanley
  • 4.5 (8)
  • Social Sciences
  • Updated Weekly

The Adoption files seeks to provide a place for adoptees and allies to discuss the laws preventing adoptees from accessing their identities, and the emotional and physical challenges adoptees face in the process of dealing with the obstacles we face. We recognize the need to expose the problematic aspects of the adoption industry and the narrative they perpetuate. We will not only talk about the laws and the challenges they create, but also the ways that the mythology around adoption impacts the way we move through our lives, as adopted people and as mothers and other family members.

  1. 13h ago

    Feel the Feelings: continuing our conversation on spiritual trauma

    Hi! Please join me and my guest host Dani Joy as we continue with the next section of our conversation on spiritual trauma from our perspectives as a mother of loss to adoption and as a late discovery adopted person, raised in white, Christian contexts. Dani Joy is a mom and a homesteader. She can be found at:https://medium.com/@danijoy https://www.hillarylmcbride.com/holy-hurt Mentioned in the episode: https://editionsdujournal.groupelivre.com/products/ne-mappelez-pas-roxana?variant=48067092021505 https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=core+emotions+chart&form=HDRSC3&first=1 https://buddhistlearning.org/how-to-meditate-a-beginners-guide-to-buddhist-meditation/ This is a beginners quide to Buddhist meditation principles. Including this here is not an endorsement of a religion or a religious practice. This is provided because it includes what I was taught when attending meditation sessions at a local Buddhist monastery. Exploring our emotions, learning to recognize and to name them, can be overwhelming if we are not used to doing so. If you are feeling dysregulated or distressed, please seek support. I am including here links to some resources that might align with your needs. https://www.thetrevorproject.org/ https://rainn.org/ https://www.healthcentral.com/mental-health/get-help-mental-health The opinions of the host and their guest are just that, their opinions. The host is not a lawyer, a therapist or an adoption professional. Thank you for listening!

  2. Jul 26

    How to use Spirituality as a Defense against Discomfort: Spiritual Bypassing

    Please join us as we continue our conversation around spiritual trauma and adoption as we work our way through the book Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing by Hillary L McBride PhD . Todays' episode explores the concept of spiritual bypassing as a coping mechanism to avoid feeling our core emotions. Joining me again today is Dani Joy, mom, homesteader, exvangelical. Dani can be found at: https://medium.com/@danijoy https://hillarylmcbride.com/holy-hurt-book/ https://www.healthcentral.com/mental-health/get-help-mental-health The opinions of the host and their guest are just that, their opinions. The host is not a lawyer, a therapist or an adoption professional. Thank you for listening!

  3. Jul 22

    Your Feelings Matter: the Core Emotions and Spiritual Trauma

    Please join Dani Joy and I as we delve into the core emotions and how we are born with these crucial forms of communication. We continue to explore how adoption and spiritual trauma intersect, using the book Holly Hurt as a framework for our discussion. Dani Joy can be found at: https://medium.com/@danijoy https://hillarylmcbride.com/holy-hurt-book/ Mentioned in the episode: https://www.relinquishedbook.com/ https://savingoursistersadoption.org/saving-our-sisters-about-us/ https://thefamilypreservationproject.com/ https://www.healthcentral.com/mental-health/get-help-mental-health The opinions of the host and their guest are just that, their opinions The host is not a lawyer, a therapist or an adoption professional Thank you for listening!

  4. Jul 12

    Victim, Villain, Valiant Hero: The Drama Triangle and Spiritual Trauma

    Please join Dani Joy and I as we continue our conversation about spiritual trauma and adoption. We are using the book Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing by Hillary L McBride, PhD as a scaffold for our conversation. We just started Chapter 5! How do the roles of victim, villain and rescuer play out in your life? What do they have to do with spiritual trauma? With adoption? Let us know what you think after you join us for the episode. Dani Joy can be found at: https://medium.com/@danijoy She loves to hear from people! https://hillarylmcbride.com/books/ https://mental-health-matters.org/2021/01/20/what-is-the-karpman-drama-triangle/ https://www.healthcentral.com/mental-health/get-help-mental-health The opinions of the host and their guest are just that, their opinions, The host is not a lawyer, a therapist or an adoption professional Thank you for listening!

  5. Jul 8

    Let's: See What Develops: The Essentials. Continuing the conversation on spiritual trauma

    Please join Dani Joy and me as we continue to discuss spiritual trauma and adoption. I am a Late Discovery, Intercountry adopted person. Dani is a mother of loss to adoption. Dani can be found at https://medium.com/@danijoy https://hillarylmcbride.com/holy-hurt-book/ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/generational-trauma https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12220155/ https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6378493/ https://www.healthcentral.com/mental-health/get-help-mental-health The opinions of the host and their guest are just that, their opinions the host is not a lawyer, therapist, or an adoption professional thank you for listening

  6. Jun 30

    Returning to the Familiar: When we keep going back to things that hurt

    Please join Dani Joy and I as we continue to explore spiritual trauma using the book Holy Hurt by Hillary L McBride Phd as a scaffold for our discussion. How might these spiritual wounds relate to Dani's experience as a mother of loss to adoption? How has my being an adopted person been shaped by spiritual trauma? In this installment we talk about the return to the familiar, even when the familiar hurts. Dani Joy is a mother of loss to adoption, a homesteader and blogger. She can be found at: https://medium.com/@danijoy https://hillarylmcbride.com/holy-hurt-book/ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20355967 https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24881-cptsd-complex-ptsd https://www.healthcentral.com/mental-health/get-help-mental-health The opinions of the host and their guest are just that, their opinions The host is not a lawyer, a therapist or an adoption professional Thank you for listening.

  7. Jun 26

    What we need from the beginning: Continuing the conversation on spiritual trauma

    Please join Dani Joy and I as we discuss the section What we need from the beginning, from the book Holy Hurt by Hilary L McBride, PhD. Dani is a mother of loss to adoption, as well as a homesteader, advocate and writer. Dani can be found at: https://medium.com/@danijoy https://hillarylmcbride.com/holy-hurt-book/ https://www.healthcentral.com/mental-health/get-help-mental-health The opinions of the host and their guest are just that, their opinions. The host is not a lawyer, a therapist or an adoption professional Thank you for listening!

  8. Jun 22

    Alert: California SB 381. California adopted people need your support

    California Alliance For Adoptee Rights and Senator Wahab have a bill being heard in the Health Committee this Tuesday, 23 June 2026. They need you to call the members of the Health Committee to ask that they vote yes on the bill as it is written, without amendments. Please follow the link to find a script and the phone numbers of the members of the Health Committee. https://www.facebook.com/CAadopteerights/posts/pfbid034DfNoKF8Kd3KM7c5jHPbu7XEAKBGkhFMbmLAH2GTVTzBQLcbjkZsFadKhyvMaBgSl If for some reason the link does not work, please go to California Alliance for Adoptee Rights and click on the featured post at the top of the page. Thank you so much for your support. The host is not a lawyer, a therapist or an adoption professional. The opinions of the host and their guest are just that, their opinions. Thank you for listening.

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About

The Adoption files seeks to provide a place for adoptees and allies to discuss the laws preventing adoptees from accessing their identities, and the emotional and physical challenges adoptees face in the process of dealing with the obstacles we face. We recognize the need to expose the problematic aspects of the adoption industry and the narrative they perpetuate. We will not only talk about the laws and the challenges they create, but also the ways that the mythology around adoption impacts the way we move through our lives, as adopted people and as mothers and other family members.

Information

  • Creator
    Ande Stanley
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2026
  • Episodes
    165
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Ande Stanley
  • Show Website
    The Adoption Files

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