Heal Your Relationships

Kavetha Sundaramoorthy
  • 5.0 (102)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

This is a show about marriage, Unlike other shows about marriage, Heal Your Relationships is for women whose partners refuse therapy. If that is you, please know that you can still have the marriage you want, and we can help you get there. I’m your host Dr. Kavetha Sun, M.D. Even as a double board-certified psychiatrist, I struggled for years in my intimate relationships. This show is a culmination of everything I learned over ten years of stumbling through my own healing journey. My hope is that it gives you a head start. Each week, I will share simple, research-backed tools that you can use immediately to help you resolve conflict, restore connection, and pass on a legacy you are proud of. PS: Whenever you’re ready, here are two ways I can support you further: ⚡️Want my personalized help to break trauma patterns and heal your relationships in just 90 days? Book a free call to see if our flagship program Resilience 360 is the right next step for you → https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun ⚡️Have you seen my YouTube Channel? I'm putting a lot of energy into creating valuable content that you won't find anywhere else. Come check out my latest stuff, and give me a like and subscribe. → https://bit.ly/DrKavethaSunYouTubeChannel ⚡️ Or if you have any questions, feel free to write us an email at admin@drkavethasun.com — we’d love to hear from you. Let’s get started.

  1. 21h ago

    A Surprising Take on Outsourcing

    I’ve spent years learning how to outsource things that don’t necessarily bring me joy. And honestly? I’m incredibly grateful that I can. But this weekend, we had less childcare help than usual, which meant more laundry, dishes, groceries, errands, cleaning… all the little things that keep a home running. I was dreading it. Instead, something happened that I didn’t expect. We had fun. We did laundry together. My daughter made our to-do list. We ran errands, listened to music, ate lunch, cleaned the house, and moved through the day without rushing. And by the end, I looked around our home and felt this unexpected sense of pride and connection. It made me wonder whether, somewhere along the way, we had over-outsourced some of the little moments that make a life feel like a life. In this week’s episode, A Surprising Take on Outsourcing, I’m sharing what this weekend taught me about productivity, family, and the ordinary rhythms of domestic life. Because whether you outsource a lot or none at all, it’s easy to get caught in the same trap: rushing through the mundane so we can get to the “good stuff.” But what if some of the good stuff is hidden inside the mundane? Episode Timestamps01:05 — The unexpected weekend that sparked this episode 02:35 — Why I was dreading a weekend full of chores 03:17 — What actually happened (and why it surprised me) 04:30 — Had we over-outsourced our everyday life? 06:22 — Finding connection in laundry, dishes, and ordinary moments 07:13 — What our children may actually remember 08:12 — Making space for the rhythms of regular family life 08:51 — What if you can’t outsource? 09:47 — The to-do list is a race you’ll never win 10:23 — Why slowing down matters on both ends of the spectrum The chores will always come back. The to-do list will refill. But the little moments happening around them won’t. Maybe we don’t need to make ordinary life disappear. Maybe we need to slow down enough to actually live it. Want to go deeper?If you’d like to keep exploring how to create more calm, connection, and safety from the inside out, I’d love to invite you to our upcoming Nervous System Mastery Workshop. You can join the waitlist now to be the first to hear when registration opens: Join the Nervous System Mastery Workshop waitlist → I’d love to see you there.

  2. Oct 1

    The Tripod Model: How to Go from Keeping Your Head Above Water to Truly Thriving

    Does therapy work? Yes. But I believe there’s a better question: Is therapy alone enough? Therapy can be incredibly valuable. It can help us understand our thoughts, process our feelings, reframe old stories, and navigate difficult seasons. But if you’ve ever thought, “Therapy is helping… so why does life still feel so hard?” this episode is for you. Because mental health isn’t just about what happens in your mind. In this week’s episode of Heal Your Relationships, I’m introducing what I call the Tripod Model: a three-pronged approach that brings together top-down, bottom-up, and inside-out tools to help you move beyond simply keeping your head above water and build greater capacity for life. I’ll also share one of my favorite ways to think about nervous system capacity: the bucket analogy. Top-down approaches help filter what goes into your bucket, while bottom-up approaches help make the bucket bigger—so everyday stressors don’t overwhelm you quite so easily. And the third leg? The often-overlooked inside-out work: sleep, nutrition, movement, attention, breathing, and social connection. This episode is also the beginning of a new series on modern mental health. Over the next few weeks, I’ll be breaking down these three pillars and giving you practical tools you can begin experimenting with in your own life. In This Episode: 00:00 Why therapy alone may not be enough 01:34 The question we should be asking about therapy 04:10 The Tripod Model explained 04:29 Pillar 1: The top-down approach 06:33 Pillar 2: Bottom-up nervous system work 09:07 The “bucket” analogy for emotional capacity 11:41 Pillar 3: The inside-out approach 13:09 Moving from surviving to truly thriving 14:49 What’s coming in this modern mental health series Want to go deeper? If you’re ready to move beyond simply understanding your patterns and start changing them at the nervous-system level, that’s exactly what we work on inside Untriggerable. You can learn more, connect with us, and join our community here: Join us on Circle

  3. Sep 24

    The 6 Phases of Healing From the Past

    Last week, we talked about No More Band-Aids, and the three pieces I believe are essential for deep, lasting healing: mind, body, and relationships. But knowing what needs healing raises another question: What does that journey actually look like? For a long time, I thought I could heal by reading enough books, journaling, learning more, or simply trying harder. But healing doesn't happen all at once. And we can't do it entirely alone. Over the years, both through my own journey and my work with others, I've noticed six distinct phases of healing. We may spend months in one and years in another, but understanding where you are can help you see what you might need next. It often begins with pain, reactivity, and the moment you finally decide: I can't keep living this way. From there comes learning and gathering information. Then something many of us miss: community and belonging. Because information may begin transformation, but we also need spaces where we feel safe enough to practice becoming who we really are. Eventually, healing moves beyond something you understand intellectually and becomes something you embody, in your nervous system, your relationships, and the way you move through the world. Episode Timestamps01:53 — The 6 phases of healing 04:16 — Phase 1: Reactivity → personal ownership 08:15 — Phase 2: Gathering information 10:55 — Phase 3: Community & belonging 14:32 — Phase 4: Embodied healing 15:49 — Phase 5: Practicing your true self 17:14 — Phase 6: Reinvention 20:05 — Where are you on your journey? So this week, ask yourself: Where am I right now — and what do I need to move forward? Want to go deeper?The six phases also reflect so much of what we work through inside Untriggerable: moving beyond information into nervous-system healing, community, practice, and embodiment. If you're ready to continue that journey with us, join our community on Circle: Join us inside Untriggerable on Circle

  4. Sep 17

    No More Band-Aids: A Model for Permanent Healing

    Last week, we talked about following your complaints like breadcrumbs... Looking beyond the surface problem to understand what might actually be asking for healing underneath. But once you find the source… how do you actually heal it? For years, my own approach looked a little like throwing spaghetti at the wall. A few therapy sessions. Some yoga. Meditation. Self-care. Then something else. And while many of those things helped, the relief was often temporary. They were Band-Aids. I eventually realized that lasting healing requires us to work with more than one part of ourselves. So in this week’s episode, I’m sharing the framework that came out of that journey: Mind, Body, and Love. We’ll look at healing the emotional wounds and protective patterns held in the mind, working with the nervous system and the reactions held in the body, and finally bringing that greater sense of safety into our relationships. Because healing isn’t just about understanding why you are the way you are. It’s about creating change that reaches deep enough that you don’t have to keep returning to the same Band-Aids. Episode Timestamps02:56 — Why I call this “No More Band-Aids” 05:08 — Is permanent healing actually possible? 07:06 — The three ingredients: Mind, Body & Love 08:54 — IFS: protectors, exiles & your Self 13:27 — Accessing the calm, steady part of yourself 14:18 — The body: polyvagal theory & somatic work 17:13 — Why relationships are essential to healing 19:23 — Authentic communication: truth AND connection 20:57 — Why all three pieces matter You don’t have to spend your life endlessly managing the same patterns. Deeper healing is possible. And now...Want to go deeper?This Mind–Body–Love approach is also at the heart of the work we do inside Untriggerable. We don’t just teach you how to manage a trigger when it happens. We work with the deeper patterns underneath it; your mind, nervous system, and relationships; so you can create change from the inside out. Join us inside Untriggerable on Circle

  5. Sep 10

    Your Complaints Are a Doorway to Your Healing

    Your Complaints Are a Doorway to Your HealingLast week, we talked about the power of language — and I invited you to start paying closer attention to the words you use when you talk to yourself and about your life. This week, I want to take that one step deeper. Because there’s one particular kind of language that can tell us so much about what’s happening underneath the surface: Our complaints. Think about something you complain about over and over. Maybe it’s that you’re always the one giving. Your partner never helps enough. Work is constantly overwhelming. There’s never enough time for you. Or maybe you keep finding yourself thinking, “Why am I dealing with this again?” What if that complaint isn’t just something you need to stop saying or solve? What if it’s trying to tell you something? I like to think about complaints the same way I would think about a fever as a physician. If you have a fever, of course I want to help you feel better. But bringing down the fever doesn’t necessarily address what’s causing it. We have to find the source. Your complaints can work the same way. They can be little clues — or, as I describe them in this episode, tributaries — that we can follow back toward deeper wounds, unmet needs, and longings we may not even consciously recognize. And once we stop seeing our complaints as something to simply vent about and start getting curious about what they’re pointing toward, they can become an incredible doorway into healing. Episode Timestamps00:48 — Why your complaints can help map your inner world 01:47 — Why venting and validation don't always create lasting change 03:20 — What a complaint actually is 04:26 — How early experiences can become subconscious core wounds 05:16 — Complaints as “tributaries” leading us back to the source 06:39 — The fever analogy: treating the symptom vs. finding the cause 09:00 — When “I'm so busy” may be protecting something deeper 11:12 — How busyness can sometimes protect us from loneliness 12:15 — Why the same wounds can keep returning as different complaints 12:50 — Why healing involves both inner work and the body So this week, instead of judging yourself when you notice a complaint, try getting curious: What am I really longing for here? What feels missing? What keeps repeating? And what might this complaint be asking me to finally pay attention to? Your complaints aren't necessarily the problem. They may be the breadcrumbs showing you where to look. Want to go deeper?Following those breadcrumbs back to the source — and working with what we find there in both the mind and the body — is at the heart of the work we do inside Untriggerable. Instead of simply managing the latest trigger or putting another band-aid over the surface problem, we work on understanding and healing the deeper patterns that keep bringing us back to the same place. If you're ready to continue that work with us, you can learn more about Untriggerable and join our community on Circle: Join the Untriggerable community on Circle This week, listen to your complaints a little differently. There may be more wisdom in them than you realize. 🗣️ Oh, and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it... You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!): 👉 Submit your question P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛 If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.

  6. Sep 2

    Power of Language

    Quick gut check: If I recorded your self-talk today, would you want to play it back for someone you love? Last week, I shared more of my own imperfect healing journey — and how our earlier experiences can continue shaping the way we think, feel, and relate to the people around us. But sometimes those patterns are hiding somewhere incredibly ordinary: In the words we use every day. The words running quietly through our minds. The things we say when we're frustrated. The stories we tell about ourselves, our relationships, and what's possible for us. Because language doesn't just describe our experience. It can shape it. And the beautiful thing about language is that it's one of the most accessible places to begin creating change. So in this week's episode, I'm giving you a simple exercise to uncover some of the hidden patterns in your own language. You'll free-write for just a few minutes and then come back to what you've written with gentle curiosity — looking at three things: whether your language leans toward yourself or connection, whether you tend toward black-and-white thinking or nuance, and whether your words reflect personal choice or a feeling that you have no choice at all. No judgment. No trying to fix yourself. Just notice. Because sometimes changing the way we experience our lives can begin with something as small as changing the words we use to describe them. Episode Timestamps01:01 — A quick check-in with your inner world 01:40 — Why the words you use are such a powerful lever for change 03:26 — The simple free-writing exercise 05:00 — Lens #1: “I, me, mine” vs. language of connection 06:06 — Lens #2: Black-and-white thinking vs. nuance 07:24 — Lens #3: “I have to” vs. language of personal power 10:44 — How to assess your overall language patterns 11:39 — The connection between rumination, anxiety, and depression 14:19 — Why noticing these patterns is actually good news 15:50 — Your invitation to try the exercise yourself When you do the exercise, don't try to change everything at once. Simply notice where you tend to lean. Then choose one of these three areas and experiment with shifting your language this week. See what happens when “I have to” becomes “I'm choosing to.” When “this is just how it is” becomes a little more curious. When certainty makes room for possibility. Small changes in language can open the door to much bigger changes in how we see ourselves and the world around us. Want to go deeper?Changing our language can be a powerful starting point. But sometimes the words we use are connected to deeper emotional patterns and old protective responses that have been with us for years. That's the deeper work we do inside Untriggerable. We work with the mind, the nervous system, and our relationships to understand what's underneath our triggers and build new ways of responding — not just when life is easy, but in the moments that challenge us most. If you'd like to learn more about Untriggerable and continue this work with us, join us on our Circle platform: Join the Untriggerable community on Circle And if you try this week's exercise, I'd love to hear what you discover. What's one phrase you're choosing to shift this week?

  7. Aug 27

    My (Imperfect and Ongoing) Healing Journey

    I’ve been on a healing journey for a long time. And I’m still on it. I still get triggered. I still get suspicious. I still have moments when trusting and letting go are hard. The difference today isn’t that those reactions have disappeared. It’s that I know what to do when they show up. In this week’s episode, I want to take you behind the scenes of how I got here — because the way I approach healing today didn’t come neatly packaged in a textbook. It came through a lot of trial and error. Honestly, probably more error than trial. 🤣 I love psychiatry. I trained at some incredible institutions and learned so much about the human mind. But even after becoming a psychiatrist, I realized something difficult: I still didn’t know how to be in relationships. The tools I needed to create safety within myself, regulate my nervous system, heal old wounds, and stay connected when I was triggered were tools I eventually had to find, practice, and integrate for myself. And that journey goes much further back than my own adulthood. In this episode, I’m sharing parts of my family story that shaped me deeply — the trauma my parents carried, the beliefs and survival patterns I inherited, losing my mother, repressing parts of myself, and eventually realizing that healing wasn’t just about me. It was also about what I would pass on. One of the biggest realizations I’ve had is that intergenerational healing doesn’t begin or end with one person. Each generation before me, imperfectly and in their own way, passed on a little less pain than they received. Now I get to be another link in that chain. And that has become one of the North Stars of my life: the trauma stops with me. Your story will look different from mine. But the effects of our earlier experiences often show up in three places: how we manage our emotions and triggers, what happens inside our bodies and nervous systems, and how we show up in our closest relationships. Healing doesn’t mean becoming someone who never gets triggered again. For me, it has meant learning to recognize what’s happening inside me and knowing how to return to safety, calm, and connection — again and again. And that’s the work I want to share with you. Episode Timestamps00:54 — Why I’m sharing my imperfect healing journey 04:41 — My childhood and the intergenerational trauma in my family 10:28 — Growing up between external privilege and internal chaos 15:54 — Losing my mother and carrying the belief that it was my fault 19:44 — When things began to change 22:21 — Why becoming a psychiatrist still didn’t teach me how to heal my relationships 24:54 — The mission that grew out of my own healing 25:50 — The 3 areas where our earlier experiences show up today 27:13 — I still get triggered — here’s what’s different now 28:12 — The three pieces I believe create a powerful path toward lasting healing Want to go deeper?My own healing taught me that insight alone isn’t always enough. I could understand why I reacted the way I did and still have my body respond automatically when something touched an old wound. That experience became a huge part of why I created Untriggerable. Inside Untriggerable, we work with the mind, the body and nervous system, and the patterns that show up in our relationships — so you can learn to recognize your triggers, regulate what’s happening inside you, and respond from a place of greater safety and choice. If you’d like to learn more about the program and continue this work with us, you can join us on our new Circle platform: Join the Untriggerable community on Circle Wherever you are in your own healing journey, remember: it doesn’t have to be perfect. Mine certainly isn’t. It just has to keep moving.

  8. Aug 20

    3 Tools to Remove Limiting Beliefs From Your Subconscious Mind [Part 2]

    Last week, we talked about how to uncover the limiting beliefs quietly shaping your choices. But recognizing them is only the beginning. Because you can know exactly what your limiting belief is… and still find yourself hesitating, resisting, or recreating the same pattern. I know because I experienced this in my own business. I knew I wanted to make changes. I knew the way I was working no longer felt aligned with how I wanted my life to look. But my business was successful. And underneath all that hesitation was a much older belief I had absorbed growing up: Money is hard to come by. You have to sacrifice what matters to succeed. And there may not be enough to go around. Intellectually, I knew I didn’t want to live that way. But subconsciously? That belief was still influencing my decisions. So in this week’s episode — Part 2 of our Limiting Beliefs series — I’m sharing the three tools I used to begin shifting those beliefs from the inside out. We’ll start by replacing that exhausting inner debate with thoughts that are simply grounded in facts. Then I’ll show you how I began practicing the identity of the person I wanted to become — and how collecting small “confirmations” helped that new identity become more natural over time. Because changing a limiting belief isn’t about forcing yourself to think positively. It’s about slowly giving your mind a different experience to believe. And for me, after about six to eight weeks of practicing these tools, something shifted. The changes I had spent months resisting began to happen with far less force. I restructured my business, changed how I spent my days, and created something that felt much more aligned with my values — without sacrificing the financial stability I had been so afraid of losing. Episode Timestamps00:48 — Picking up where we left off in Part 1 02:10 — Why changing a successful business felt so scary 03:28 — The limiting belief about money I uncovered 06:24 — How subconscious beliefs kept me recreating what I wanted to change 08:25 — Tool #1: Replace resistance with fact-based thoughts 12:42 — Tool #2: Start practicing a new identity 16:19 — How I used “abundance walks” to notice what was already around me 20:40 — Tool #3: Collect confirmations of your new identity 22:07 — What changed after practicing these tools for 6–8 weeks 24:14 — What my life and business look like on the other side If you haven’t listened to last week’s episode, 3 Ways to Uncover Your Hidden Limiting Beliefs [Part 1], I recommend starting there first. Part 1 helps you uncover what may be running beneath the surface. Part 2 helps you begin changing it. And as you listen, don’t try to tackle every limiting belief at once. Choose one. Get curious about it. And start giving yourself evidence that another way of thinking, feeling, and living is possible. Want to go deeper?Sometimes the patterns we intellectually understand are also tied to deeper emotional reactions that continue showing up even when we know better. That’s exactly the deeper work we do inside Untriggerable — learning how to work with those patterns from the inside out so they no longer have to keep running the show. And we now have a new home on Circle where you can learn more about Untriggerable and join our community: Join the Untriggerable community on Circle I’d love to see you there.

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5
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About

This is a show about marriage, Unlike other shows about marriage, Heal Your Relationships is for women whose partners refuse therapy. If that is you, please know that you can still have the marriage you want, and we can help you get there. I’m your host Dr. Kavetha Sun, M.D. Even as a double board-certified psychiatrist, I struggled for years in my intimate relationships. This show is a culmination of everything I learned over ten years of stumbling through my own healing journey. My hope is that it gives you a head start. Each week, I will share simple, research-backed tools that you can use immediately to help you resolve conflict, restore connection, and pass on a legacy you are proud of. PS: Whenever you’re ready, here are two ways I can support you further: ⚡️Want my personalized help to break trauma patterns and heal your relationships in just 90 days? Book a free call to see if our flagship program Resilience 360 is the right next step for you → https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun ⚡️Have you seen my YouTube Channel? I'm putting a lot of energy into creating valuable content that you won't find anywhere else. Come check out my latest stuff, and give me a like and subscribe. → https://bit.ly/DrKavethaSunYouTubeChannel ⚡️ Or if you have any questions, feel free to write us an email at admin@drkavethasun.com — we’d love to hear from you. Let’s get started.

Information

  • Creator
    Kavetha Sundaramoorthy
  • Years Active
    2022 - 2026
  • Episodes
    239
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyright Kavetha Sundaramoorthy
  • Show Website
    Heal Your Relationships

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