Behind The Smile with Ash Butterss

Ashleigh Butterss
  • 5.0 (30)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

Behind the Smile is a mental health, recovery and personal growth podcast hosted by TEDx speaker and coach Ash Butterss. Exploring alcohol, addiction, sobriety, trauma and emotional wellbeing, it reveals the raw reality behind the facade of people's "perfect lives." After getting sober in 2020 and leaving corporate life, Ash now shares raw conversations, expert insights and powerful stories to help you heal, grow and reconnect with your true self. Expect honesty, practical tools and real talk that proves when we recover out loudly, no one has to suffer in silence. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  1. Ep 178. Solo Episode: What Does Spirituality Have To Do With Sobriety?

    3d ago

    Ep 178. Solo Episode: What Does Spirituality Have To Do With Sobriety?

    This week, Ash shares a sneak peak into her memoir she's currently writing, tracing how her spiritual life has evolved in recovery. What began as skepticism and resistance toward anything “spiritual” has slowly become the foundation of her day-to-day life, influencing how she relates to herself, others, and the world around her. She opens up about moving from a place of self-hatred, numbing, and constant chasing to an inner landscape shaped by simple, consistent practices like prayer, meditation, gratitude, and quiet acts of service. Ash reflects on how spirituality, for her, isn’t about being “woo-woo” or giving up ambition or joy, but about how you live when no one is watching and how kindly you speak to yourself when things are hard. At its heart, this episode invites listeners to reconsider what spirituality might look like in their own lives, whether they’re on a sober path, a healing journey, or simply curious about something deeper. Episode Chapters: 00:00 Welcome, Intentions & Gratitude 00:56 Memoir Writing & Bali Setup 03:14 Spirituality as the Foundation of Sobriety 05:39 From Non‑Believer to Spiritual Seeker 08:04 Redefining a Higher Power in Recovery 10:26 Gift of Desperation & Early God Experiments 12:48 Daily Prayer, Gratitude & Relationship with God 15:01 Meditation, Listening & Two‑Way Prayer 17:25 Depositing into the Spiritual Bank 19:42 Spiritual Solution to Alcoholism & Old Patterns Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join. Upcoming Workshops: The Reconnection Ritual | June 21st | Buy Tickets Here Join Ash on retreat in 2026! Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Follow and connect with Ash on:  ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    27 min
  2. Ep 177. What It Takes To Be A Sober Solo Mum, with Alisha Burns

    May 31

    Ep 177. What It Takes To Be A Sober Solo Mum, with Alisha Burns

    This week, Ash sits down with Alisha Burns, founder of Solo Mum Society, to talk about the deeply personal road that led her to motherhood on her own terms. Alisha shares the heartbreak of infertility, the emotional weight of hidden struggles, and the quiet strength it took to move through a life that often looked fine from the outside while feeling very different underneath. She opens up about the role alcohol played in her life, the pressure of social expectations, and the long process of learning to trust herself again. Ash and Alisha explore what it means to choose donor conception, to step into solo motherhood by choice, and to build a life that feels honest, intentional, and aligned with who you really are. Throughout the conversation, Alisha reflects on the changing shape of family, the power of community support, and the liberation that can come from letting go of the version of life you thought you were meant to have. At its heart, this episode is about grief, growth, and the courage to create a future rooted in authenticity, independence, and love. Trigger Warning: This episode discusses pregnancy loss.  Episode chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Alicia Burns and Her Journey 03:01 Navigating Motherhood and Business 06:01 Hiding Behind a Smile: Alicia's Photo Reflection 09:11 Infertility Struggles and Emotional Toll 12:09 The Impact of Alcohol on Coping Mechanisms 15:04 The End of a Marriage and New Beginnings 17:58 Finding Strength in Adversity 20:53 The Journey to Motherhood: Donor Conception 23:48 Overcoming Challenges and Embracing Change 30:45 The Journey of Single Motherhood 32:08 Navigating Isolation and Connection 34:29 The Impact of Alcohol Culture 38:52 Realizations and Transformations 43:35 Embracing Independence and Self-Discovery 46:25 The Changing Landscape of Family Dynamics 49:54 Empowerment Through Intentional Choices 52:46 Building Community and Support 54:40 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life Website - www.solomumsociety.com Instagram - @noneedforprincecharming Upcoming Workshops: The Reconnection Ritual | June 21st | Buy Tickets Here  Join Ash on retreat in 2026! Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Follow and connect with Ash on:  ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    57 min
  3. Ep 176. What Really Went Down at The Embodied Woman Retreat, with Ash & Laura Corcoran

    May 24

    Ep 176. What Really Went Down at The Embodied Woman Retreat, with Ash & Laura Corcoran

    This week, Ash sits down with holistic psychologist Laura Corcoran to unpack what really happened inside The Embodied Woman retreat. Over four days on the Gold Coast, sixteen women arrived as strangers and left having cracked open years of armour, people pleasing, perfectionism, and emotional suppression. Ash and Laura reflect on the moments that shifted everything, from the resistance and fear women carried on day one, to the tears, breakthroughs, nervous system releases, and deep honesty that unfolded as the weekend progressed. They speak about why so many women feel disconnected from themselves, how high functioning coping mechanisms keep us stuck, and what happens when you finally feel safe enough to be fully seen. This conversation explores embodiment, sisterhood, emotional healing, relationships, boundaries, identity, and the power of being in a room where masks are no longer needed. Ash and Laura also share why transformation happens so quickly in immersive spaces like this, and why the women who attended are already making powerful changes in their lives back home. If you’ve ever felt exhausted from holding it all together, disconnected from yourself, or like you’re craving something deeper than surface level self development, this episode is for you. For more information on The Embodied Woman Retreat 2027 you can send Ash a message on IG here, or email hello@ashbutterss.com Episode Chapters: 00:00 The Energy of the Retreat 02:58 Integration and Connection 06:00 Creating a Safe Space 08:59 Meeting Your Edge 11:53 Transformation Through Action 15:04 Intergenerational Healing 17:56 The Power of Vulnerability 20:59 Sisterhood and Support 24:01 Reflections on the Experience 28:33 Connection and Community in Retreats 30:10 Overcoming Personal Challenges 32:06 Emotional Vulnerability and Heart Opening 33:13 Facing Uncertainty and Embracing Change 36:32 The Journey of Growth and Transformation 38:19 The Power of Embodied Experiences 39:20 Announcing the Next Retreat Reach out to Laura - @hersuccessfulmind Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join. Upcoming Workshops: The Reconnection Ritual | June 21st | Buy Tickets Here Join Ash on retreat in 2026! Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Follow and connect with Ash on:  ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    41 min
  4. Ep 175. A Rapid Road to Rock Bottom and Finding a Life Worth Living, with Rosie Eldershaw

    May 17

    Ep 175. A Rapid Road to Rock Bottom and Finding a Life Worth Living, with Rosie Eldershaw

    This week, Ash sits down with Rosie Eldershaw, a country girl turned Melburnian who recently celebrated three years of sobriety after multiple rehabs and several near-fatal rock bottoms. Rosie shares how her drinking progressed from nightly wine to 24/7 spirits and drugs, and how she kept a bubbly, high-functioning facade while quietly falling apart inside. She speaks honestly about seizures, the shame of drinking hand sanitiser and mouthwash, and the terror of knowing something was very wrong but feeling powerless to stop. Rosie reflects on the turning points that finally stuck: finding a 12-step program, allowing others to help, and building a simple, peaceful life she genuinely enjoys with yoga, dog parks, her partner and her dog. This is a grounded, hopeful conversation about ownership, spirituality, and the non-negotiables that now protect her sobriety and happiness. Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join. Episode chapters: 00:00 Introduction and Journey of Transformation 03:01 Rosie's Story of Sobriety 05:56 The Struggles Behind the Smile 08:57 The Dangerous Path of Alcoholism 12:07 Childhood and Early Influences 14:48 The Progression of Drinking 17:58 Family Concerns and Consequences 20:54 The Desperation of Addiction 23:55 The Journey to Rehab 26:28 The Journey Through Rehab 29:00 The Turning Point: A Meeting That Changed Everything 32:52 Embracing Spirituality in Recovery 36:57 Overcoming the Ego: Finding a Higher Power 40:46 Living One Day at a Time 46:29 Building Healthy Relationships in Sobriety 53:24 Non-Negotiables for a Happy Life Upcoming Workshops: The Reconnection Ritual | June 21st | Buy Tickets Here Join Ash on retreat in 2026! Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Follow and connect with Ash on:  ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    56 min
  5. Ep 174. Learning to Surrender, Why Acceptance is the Pathway To Inner Peace, with Ash Butterss

    May 10

    Ep 174. Learning to Surrender, Why Acceptance is the Pathway To Inner Peace, with Ash Butterss

    This week, Ash returns with a solo episode that’s felt long overdue. After a season of slowing down and stepping back, she’s back behind the mic on her own, not with all the answers, but with a deeper level of honesty about what it really means to accept life as it is. Drawing on yoga philosophy, recovery, and her own lived experience, Ash explores the tension between control and surrender. She opens up about her patterns of perfectionism, the need to hold everything together, and the unexpected peace that came when she finally softened her grip. This is a deeply personal reflection on relationships, family dynamics, and the moments that still stir old wounds. Ash also shares her experience navigating motherhood, fertility, and loss, and how these chapters have shaped her understanding of acceptance in a way no theory ever could. If you’ve been trying to control outcomes, fix everything, or push against what is, this episode offers a different way. A gentle reminder that peace isn’t found in having it all figured out, but in learning to meet yourself exactly where you are. Episode chapters: 00:00 Introduction and Intentions 00:57 Embracing Vulnerability in Solo Episodes 04:03 The Journey of Acceptance 10:10 Letting Go of Control 15:00 Navigating Relationships with Acceptance 20:04 The Spiritual Journey and Personal Growth 24:53 Conclusion and Call to Action Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join. Upcoming Workshops: The Reconnection Ritual | June 21st | Buy Tickets Here Join Ash on retreat in 2026! Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Follow and connect with Ash on:  ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    29 min
  6. Ep 173. Dancing Through the Dark, Depression and Psychosis, with Taylah King

    May 3

    Ep 173. Dancing Through the Dark, Depression and Psychosis, with Taylah King

    This week, Ash sits down with embodied dance artist and coach Taylah King, whose journey from darkness to rediscovery is both heart-wrenching and deeply inspiring. Taylah opens up about her twelve-year relationship and marriage that began in childhood, the growing inner whisper that something wasn't right, and the vulnerability of walking away from the only safety she'd ever known. From alcohol abuse that started at fourteen to a drug-induced psychosis triggered by ayahuasca, Taylah shares candidly about spending two years dissociated from reality, convinced she was dead, and trapped in a mental health crisis that felt inescapable. She reflects on the terrifying experience of psychosis, the inadequacy of traditional mental health support, and the overwhelming loneliness of not knowing if she'd ever come back. Taylah describes the turning point that changed everything: surrendering to faith, working with a mentor, and falling in love for the first time while sober, which allowed her to finally feel again after years of numbness. Throughout their conversation, Ash and Taylah explore the danger of spiritual bypassing, the power of embodiment practices, and the importance of learning to listen to your nervous system instead of seeking answers outside yourself. Today, Taylah uses dance and movement as medicine, helping others reconnect to their bodies and move freely in the world without substances. Her story is a powerful reminder that even in the deepest darkness, there is always a way back home to yourself. Episode Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Taylah's Journey 02:56 Rediscovery Through Dance 06:05 The Struggles Behind the Smile 09:02 Substance Abuse and Its Impact 12:01 The Role of Ayahuasca in Healing 14:58 Experiencing Psychosis 17:55 The Aftermath of Psychosis 21:02 Finding Freedom in Movement 30:11 The Journey Through Psychosis 34:01 Spiritual Awakening and Healing 39:12 The Role of Love and Relationships in Recovery 43:10 Embodiment and Self-Connection 51:13 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life You can connect with Taylah using the links below: Instagram: @taylahkingmovement Follow and connect with Ash on:  ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Upcoming Workshops: The Reconnection Ritual | June 21st | Buy Tickets Here Join Ash on retreat in 2026! The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026  Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    55 min
  7. Ep 172. How to Value Yourself and Start Living Differently, with Blake D. Bauer

    Apr 26

    Ep 172. How to Value Yourself and Start Living Differently, with Blake D. Bauer

    This week, Ash sits down with author Blake D. Bauer, whose book You Were Not Born to Suffer has helped thousands rethink the way they relate to themselves, their pain, and their past. Blake opens up about his own journey through addiction, mental health struggles, and the pressure to keep it all hidden behind a smile, tracing how childhood experiences and emotional confusion shaped the way he moved through the world. He shares how meditation and Eastern philosophies became lifelines and a pathway into healing. Ash and Blake dive into the power of morning meditation, the quiet joy of everyday moments, and what it really means to take radical responsibility for your inner life instead of waiting for someone else to fix it. Throughout their conversation, Blake offers grounded, practical steps for cultivating self-love and rebuilding self-trust: listening to your own needs, telling yourself the truth, and learning to treat yourself with the same honesty and kindness you’d offer someone you care about. If you’re looking for simple ways that will significantly improve your life, this episode is for you! Episode Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Blake Bauer's Journey 02:59 The Importance of Morning Meditation 06:01 Finding Joy in Everyday Life 09:01 The Impact of Travel on Personal Growth 12:04 Hiding Behind a Smile: A Personal Story 15:04 Childhood Influences and Emotional Struggles 17:51 The Role of Sports in Blake's Life 20:50 Consequences of Substance Abuse 23:48 Awakening to a Spiritual Journey 27:06 The Healing Power of Eastern Philosophies 32:57 The Journey to Self-Discovery 34:10 The Importance of Self-Love 38:38 Practical Steps to Cultivate Self-Love 50:23 Rebuilding Self-Trust and Confidence 58:44 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life You can connect with Blake using the links below: Free Meditation: https://vimeo.com/768757355 Website: https://elevatewellness.io/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blakedbauer/?hl=en  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/YouWereNotBornToSuffer.by.BlakeDBauer  LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/blake-d-bauer  Follow and connect with Ash on:  ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Upcoming Workshops: The Reconnection Ritual | June 21st | Melbourne - Buy Tickets Here Join Ash on retreat in 2026! The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026  Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    1h 1m
  8. Ep 171. Behind the Spotlight, Naomi Eyers on Life from the Stage to 31 Years of Sobriety

    Apr 19

    Ep 171. Behind the Spotlight, Naomi Eyers on Life from the Stage to 31 Years of Sobriety

    This week, Ash sits down with powerhouse performer Naomi Eyers, whose four-decade career has taken her from session singer to London’s West End, global tours with The Fabulous Singlettes, and sharing stages with icons like Shirley Bassey and Tom Jones. Behind the spotlight, Naomi has quietly built over 31 years of sobriety, reshaping not just her life in music, but the way she shows up for herself and others. Naomi opens up about her early experiences with alcohol and drugs, the pull of ambition, and the quiet moments that revealed her relationship with drinking was no longer sustainable. She shares candidly about the ups and downs of her recovery journey including her recent heart attack that became a brutal wake-up call, going to rehab with almost three decades of sobriety, and the spiritual and emotional work that followed. Together, they trace Naomi’s journey through addiction, sobriety, and the long road of staying sober through life’s inevitable turmoil including grief, changing relationships, and the ongoing demands of a life in the arts. Naomi reflects on the role of community, the impact of the relationships that held a mirror up when she needed it most, and the way music, fun, and creativity still sit at the heart of her life today, only now grounded in peace rather than chaos. Naomi shares how today she values spiritual connection, honest self-reflection, service, and simple daily routines that keep her anchored in gratitude and presence. Episode chapters: 00:00 Introduction to the Retreats and Podcast 01:19 Naomi Eyers: A Life in Music 03:12 Daily Routine and Morning Practices 11:32 Spiritual Connection and Personal Growth 15:03 Finding Fun and Connection in Recovery 18:11 The Search for Inner Peace 22:42 Early Experiences with Alcohol 28:27 Life as a Young Performer 31:47 The Restless Pursuit of Ambition 34:00 Navigating the Music Scene in Sydney 36:47 Living in a Narcissistic Bubble 39:19 The Illusion of Success 42:42 The Catalyst for Change 44:31 Rock Bottom and Relationships 46:30 The Denial of Alcoholism 50:53 The Struggle for Control 55:30 The Moment of Surrender 01:00:12 Awakening to the Truth 01:04:11 Finding a New Path in Recovery 01:08:13 The Struggle of Sobriety 01:09:42 The Journey of Recovery and Relapse 01:11:37 Relationships and Higher Powers 01:13:33 The Impact of Lockdown on Relationships 01:16:39 The Heart Attack: A Wake-Up Call 01:18:28 Seeking Help: The Path to Recovery 01:22:17 Experiences at South Pacific Private 01:25:09 The Importance of Vulnerability in Recovery 01:30:24 The Power of Community and Connection 01:36:56 Letting Go and Embracing Change 01:40:41 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life Follow and connect with Ash on:  ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Upcoming Workshops: Join Ash on retreat in 2026! The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026  Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    1h 42m
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5
out of 5
30 Ratings

About

Behind the Smile is a mental health, recovery and personal growth podcast hosted by TEDx speaker and coach Ash Butterss. Exploring alcohol, addiction, sobriety, trauma and emotional wellbeing, it reveals the raw reality behind the facade of people's "perfect lives." After getting sober in 2020 and leaving corporate life, Ash now shares raw conversations, expert insights and powerful stories to help you heal, grow and reconnect with your true self. Expect honesty, practical tools and real talk that proves when we recover out loudly, no one has to suffer in silence. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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