Behind The Smile with Ash Butterss

Ashleigh Butterss
  • 5.0 (30)
  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Behind the Smile is a mental health, recovery and personal growth podcast hosted by TEDx speaker and coach Ash Butterss. Exploring alcohol, addiction, sobriety, trauma and emotional wellbeing, it reveals the raw reality behind the facade of people's "perfect lives." After getting sober in 2020 and leaving corporate life, Ash now shares raw conversations, expert insights and powerful stories to help you heal, grow and reconnect with your true self. Expect honesty, practical tools and real talk that proves when we recover out loudly, no one has to suffer in silence.

  1. Ep 162. Love Addiction, Codependency, and the Patterns We Inherit, with Rod Butterss

    4D AGO

    Ep 162. Love Addiction, Codependency, and the Patterns We Inherit, with Rod Butterss

    In this episode, Ash is joined again by her dad, Rod, for a candid conversation about the real complexities of love and relationships. They unpack topics many people experience but rarely talk about openly, including love addiction, love avoidance, codependency, and what healthy communication actually looks like in practice. Drawing on both personal experience and honest reflection, they explore how family dynamics shape the way we love, the patterns we repeat without realising, and what it takes to change them. Ash also opens up about a deeply personal crossroads, her uncertainty around motherhood, and the inner questions that come with choosing a path that feels true rather than expected. Their father daughter conversations are always listener favourites, and this is exactly why they continue to shine a light on the honest, nuanced conversations that many people are thinking about, but few feel safe enough to say out loud.

    1h 16m
  2. Ep 161. What It Really Takes to Get Sober in a Drinking Culture, with Vim Verma

    FEB 8

    Ep 161. What It Really Takes to Get Sober in a Drinking Culture, with Vim Verma

    In this episode, Ash has a raw conversation with husband, father, and sober human Vim Verma as they discuss addiction, identity, and what happens when you finally stop running from yourself. Vim opens up about growing up in a mixed-race culture where drinking was normalised, emotions were rarely spoken about, and asking for help felt almost impossible. Together, they unpack the quiet pressures of family expectations, the heavy emotional charge of the holiday season, and the stigma that keeps so many people suffering in silence. There are moments of grief, moments of clarity, and Vim’s classic humour, that remind us how human this journey really is. Vim also shares how his recovery program, meditation, and spiritual practice became a turning point, helping him strip back the noise and reconnect with who he is beneath the coping mechanisms. This is a conversation about breaking cycles, choosing courage over comfort, and discovering that real healing starts on the inside. If you’ve ever questioned your relationship with alcohol, felt trapped by expectations, or wondered what life could look like if you truly listened to yourself, this episode will land. Episode Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Retreats and Self-Discovery 01:34 Vim Verma's Journey to Sobriety 03:45 Navigating Sobriety During the Holidays 04:54 Cultural Influences on Drinking 07:24 The Impact of Family Dynamics 07:53 Getting to Know Vim: Daily Life and Fun 14:06 Hiding Behind a Smile: The Photo Story 16:20 The Progression of Alcoholism 19:05 Consequences of Drinking: Crashing and Bashing 28:18 The Turning Point: Seeking Help 31:44 Experiences in Early Recovery 38:47 Finding Hope in Recovery 41:54 Life After Sobriety: Changes and Growth 47:50 Navigating Life's Challenges in Recovery 51:23 The Role of Support in Recovery 59:46 Non-Negotiables for a Happy Life You can connect with Vim through his Instagram here.  Follow and connect with Ash on:  ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Upcoming Workshops: A Return To You | One Day Retreat  Sunday 22nd February, 2026 Tickets available here.  Join Ash on retreat in 2026! The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026  Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

    1h 7m
  3. Ep 160. Finding Freedom in Recovery, with Ash Murray

    FEB 1

    Ep 160. Finding Freedom in Recovery, with Ash Murray

    In this special episode, Ash is joined by her longtime friend Ash Murray. For years, both women battled addiction silently, only sharing the full depths of their stories with one another after coming into recovery. Today, Ash Murray is the Eating Disorder Lead and Therapist at The Wave Clinic in Malaysia, with her expertise grounded not just in study, but in lived experience. Ash opens up about her personal journey through eating disorders and alcohol addiction, sharing what recovery has truly looked like beyond the surface. From the isolating depths of illness which nearly took her life, to the slow rebuilding of trust, self-worth, and connection, she reflects on the pivotal role that rehab, honesty, healing and self-care have played in finding lasting freedom. Together, they explore the intersection of therapy and lived experience, how vulnerability and empathy can become powerful tools for healing both self and others. They unpack the mental health challenges that intensified during the COVID-19 pandemic, and the importance of ongoing support in maintaining balance and wellbeing. Episode chapter: 00:00 Introduction to Ashley Murray's Journey 02:57 Life in Malaysia and Work at the Wave Clinic 05:46 Navigating COVID-19 in Treatment 08:21 The Impact of COVID-19 on Mental Health 11:08 A Photo that Represents Struggles 13:55 The Super Yacht Experience and Its Consequences 16:27 The Turning Point: Seeking Help 19:22 Life in Bali and the Struggle with Addiction 22:16 The Rock Bottom Moment 24:49 Desperation and the Path to Recovery 27:08 The Turning Point: Reaching Out for Help 31:53 Childhood Struggles: The Roots of Eating Disorders 44:03 Escaping Reality: The Need to Hide 48:25 Facing the Truth: A Journey of Self-Discovery 54:28 The Struggle of Surrendering Control 57:02 The Complexity of Eating Disorders 59:13 The Power of Intervention 01:00:41 Transformation Through Therapy 01:04:11 Building Trust in Recovery 01:06:15 The Importance of Honesty 01:08:57 Setting Boundaries for Recovery 01:13:03 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life Connect with Ash through: https://thewaveclinic.com/ https://www.instagram.com/thewaveclinic/ Follow and connect with Ash on:  ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Upcoming Workshops: A Return To You | One Day Retreat  Sunday 22nd February, 2026 Tickets available here.  Join Ash on retreat in 2026! The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026  Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

    1h 19m
  4. Ep 159. From Self Destruction to Self Discovery: How Almost Losing Everything Saved Him, with James Date

    JAN 25

    Ep 159. From Self Destruction to Self Discovery: How Almost Losing Everything Saved Him, with James Date

    In this episode, Ash sits down with husband, father, and business owner James Date to explore what life looks like after addiction—and how recovery has reshaped the way he moves through the world. James shares how community, service, and genuine connection became the anchors of his sobriety, transforming what once felt like isolation into a life rich with meaning and purpose. He speaks openly about the power of vulnerability, the role of daily routines and prayer in keeping him grounded, and how embracing honesty has deepened his relationships at home and beyond. Together, Ash and James confront the lingering stigma around addiction and discuss the strength it takes to ask for help. Through moments of reflection and gratitude, James reveals the quiet joy found in showing up authentically each day—a reminder that recovery isn’t just about living without substances, but about rediscovering who you are underneath it all. Episode Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to James Date and His Journey 02:54 The Importance of Connection and Community in Recovery 05:52 Daily Routines and Spiritual Practices 08:58 The Role of Surrender in Recovery 11:58 Compassion and Kindness in Daily Life 15:01 Finding Joy in Service and Helping Others 17:57 The Impact of Sponsorship in Recovery 21:03 The Struggles of Identifying as an Addict 24:03 Behind the Smile: A Photo Reflection 26:53 The Journey to Acknowledging Addiction 30:08 Understanding the Roots of Addiction 32:54 The Ongoing Journey of Recovery 36:18 Understanding Alcoholism and Addiction 38:30 Rock Bottom Moments 42:14 Finding the Right Rehab 49:34 The Journey of Outpatient Recovery 51:23 The Importance of Vulnerability 56:54 Reconnecting with Self and Family 01:02:25 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life Connect with James below: Instagram: @slayingsober Podcast: Slaying Sober - listen on Spotify  Follow and connect with Ash on:  ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Upcoming Workshops: A Return To You | One Day Retreat  Sunday 22nd February, 2026 Tickets available here.  Join Ash on retreat in 2026! The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026  Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

    1h 8m
  5. Ep 158. Solo Episode: How to stop the hustle while still creating your dream life

    JAN 18

    Ep 158. Solo Episode: How to stop the hustle while still creating your dream life

    In this solo episode, Ash challenges the myth that hustle creates happiness and asks a better question: what if the dream life is built through alignment and embodiment instead of force? Through her own transformation from corporate burnout and addiction to sobriety, surrender and spacious success, she explores why achievement without fulfilment leaves us empty and how co-creating with life can deliver breakthroughs hustle never could. She unpacks the Law of Least Effort, the power of nervous system safety, and the practical habits she’s using to set up 2026, including her word of the year and a new manifesto that prioritises alignment, presence, ease and self trust. If you’re tired of pushing, proving or performing, this episode shows you how to create more by doing less and build a life that feels good on the inside. Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Upcoming Workshops: A Return To You | One Day Retreat Sunday 22nd February, 2026 Tickets available here. Join Ash on retreat in 2026! The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

    46 min
  6. Ep 157. Unpacking the Meaning of Life and Developing Emotional Responsibility, with Rick Watson

    JAN 11

    Ep 157. Unpacking the Meaning of Life and Developing Emotional Responsibility, with Rick Watson

    After years of living with a debilitating condition, Rick Watson has learned what it truly means to face fear and find freedom on the other side. In this episode, the holistic coach and gestalt therapist in training opens up about the profound transformation that followed his diagnosis, the trauma of constant uncertainty, and the life-altering decision to undergo brain surgery.   Rick shares how recovery from both the physical and emotional toll of his condition sparked a deeper journey toward authenticity and self-understanding. As he describes his transition into therapy, he unpacks the core principles of gestalt work: presence, honesty, and the courage to be seen as you are. The conversation explores how health challenges can reshape identity, relationships, and purpose and how taking full responsibility for our emotions becomes the key to freedom.   Together, Ash and Rick reflect on themes of vulnerability, generational patterns, and the importance of truly listening to ourselves and others. They discuss burnout in helping professions, the meaning found in midlife transitions, and the art of mapping one’s inner world to reveal clarity and connection.  Episode Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Rick Watson and His Journey 02:58 Living with Epilepsy: The Hidden Struggles 05:55 The Impact of Brain Surgery and Recovery 08:57 Life After Epilepsy: Embracing Freedom 11:54 Transitioning to Therapy: A New Path 15:02 Gestalt Therapy: Understanding the Modality 18:05 The Importance of Being Present 20:48 Personal Growth Through Therapy Retreats 23:58 Authenticity: The Journey to Being Yourself 32:01 The Power of Vulnerability in Men's Circles 35:56 Unpacking Core Wounds and Generational Patterns 39:48 Navigating Burnout and Protecting Energy 44:04 The Importance of Listening and Emotional Responsibility 49:00 Finding Meaning in Midlife Transitions 55:53 Mapping the Inner Self for Clarity 01:00:59 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life You can connect with Rick through: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rickwatson_/ Website: https://www.rickwatson.com.au/ Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/3r8QaWJYgB73pOF9b0Hi0t?si=76e4b44b93864ba0

    1h 5m
  7. Ep. 156 How to Make 2026 Your Best Year Yet, with Holistic Psychologist Laura Corcoran

    12/31/2025

    Ep. 156 How to Make 2026 Your Best Year Yet, with Holistic Psychologist Laura Corcoran

    To kick off the new year, Ash sits down with holistic psychologist Laura Corcoran for a soulful and grounded conversation about how to truly create a powerful year ahead. Together, they explore the practice of letting go, not as something you think your way through, but as something you feel, embody, and live. They speak candidly about surrender, emotional release, and the subtle moments where growth asks you to slow down, soften, and trust yourself more deeply. Woven throughout is the importance of authenticity and the role of community in supporting real, lasting change. As they reflect on the year that’s been and turn their attention toward what’s possible next, Ash and Laura invite you to reconsider what it means to thrive. Less hustle, more presence. Less force, more space. A year shaped by rest, reflection, and joy, rather than pressure or perfection. The episode closes with an exciting announcement about The Embodied Woman, their upcoming retreat created for women who are ready to reconnect with their bodies, reclaim their worth, and step into the next chapter feeling grounded, supported, and deeply embodied. Episode Chapters: 00:00 New Beginnings: Embracing 2026 01:38 Letting Go: The Journey of Self-Discovery 04:29 The Power of Surrender: Trusting the Process 09:54 Finding Strength Within: The Role of Emotional Release 14:30 The Simplicity of Self-Connection: Embracing Stillness 18:57 Redefining Success: From External Validation to Inner Peace 23:22 The Importance of Community: Navigating Transformation Together 26:26 Embracing Self-Worth and Authenticity 27:20 Breaking Free from Co-dependency 29:56 The Power of Presence and Self-Expression 31:21 Navigating Loneliness and Connection 35:30 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Embodiment 37:27 Setting Intentions for 2026 43:11 The Embodied Woman Retreat 49:39 Taking Action Towards Change You can connect with Laura on her IG @hersuccessfulmind  Upcoming Workshops: A Return To You | One Day Retreat  Sunday 22nd February, 2026 Tickets available here.  Join Ash on retreat in 2026! The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026  Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

    55 min
  8. Ep 155. The Raw Reality of Recovery, Relapse and Rebuilding with Gabby Williamson (Part Two)

    12/28/2025

    Ep 155. The Raw Reality of Recovery, Relapse and Rebuilding with Gabby Williamson (Part Two)

    In part two of this conversation, Gabby opens up about what happened after her first attempt at recovery, when alcohol crept back in and the old patterns she thought she’d left behind began to resurface in new, painful ways. She speaks honestly about the experience of being a “dry drunk,” white-knuckling her way through sobriety without true emotional healing, and how that disconnection eventually led her back to party drugs and an inevitable rock bottom. Through raw reflection, Gabby unpacks the misconceptions she once held about addiction and sobriety, the fear that kept her stuck, and the moment she finally became willing to seek deeper help. She explores the ongoing nature of recovery: the reality of relapse, the weight of unaddressed trauma, and the mental health struggles that don’t magically disappear when the substances do. Ash and Gabby talk about the power of community, the safety of honest relationships, and the courage it takes to let others in when shame is loud. At the heart of this episode is a message of hope, about the transformative role of gratitude, self-awareness, and self-care in building a life that is not just sober, but genuinely connected and worth staying for. Episode Chapters: 00:00 Introduction and Trigger Warning 01:00 First Round of Recovery: A Journey Begins 05:51 The Struggle with Alcohol and Denial 09:59 The Dry Drunk Experience 14:01 Revisiting Old Habits: The Return of Party Drugs 19:53 Rock Bottom: A Descent into Darkness 28:16 Facing Fear and Seeking Help 31:42 The Journey to Rehab 32:39 Discovering Community in Recovery 35:40 Relapse and Realizations 38:17 Understanding Rock Bottom 41:54 Navigating Mental Health in Recovery 45:49 Exploring CPTSD and Healing 51:53 Finding Balance in Recovery 57:24 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life Connect with Gabby:  IG: @bellylaughsbrutalhonesty and @gabriellesiobhan  Podcast: Belly Laughs and Brutal Honesty  Follow and connect with Ash on:  ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Upcoming Workshops: A Return To You | One Day Retreat  Sunday 22nd February, 2026 Tickets available here.  Join Ash on retreat in 2026! The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026  Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Support Services If this conversation has brought anything up for you, please know you don’t have to go through it alone. Support is always available. You can reach out to Lifeline on 13 11 14 for 24/7 crisis support, Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 for mental health support and guidance, or the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 for free counselling.

    1 hr
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5
out of 5
30 Ratings

About

Behind the Smile is a mental health, recovery and personal growth podcast hosted by TEDx speaker and coach Ash Butterss. Exploring alcohol, addiction, sobriety, trauma and emotional wellbeing, it reveals the raw reality behind the facade of people's "perfect lives." After getting sober in 2020 and leaving corporate life, Ash now shares raw conversations, expert insights and powerful stories to help you heal, grow and reconnect with your true self. Expect honesty, practical tools and real talk that proves when we recover out loudly, no one has to suffer in silence.

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