Able to Care

Andy Baker (Able Training)
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Able to Care with Andy Baker helps caregivers, teachers, parents and people who care, better understand behaviour, care and connection. Hosted by Behaviour Specialist, author and trainer Andy Baker, the podcast explores dementia, neurodiversity, mental health, education, parenting, safeguarding, communication and the human stories behind support.

  1. 2d ago

    Understanding Child Poverty in the UK - Part 1

    Child poverty is not only about hunger or homelessness. It can mean a child missing school because they do not have the right uniform, being unable to join clubs or activities, feeling ashamed to invite friends home, or being excluded from the everyday experiences their classmates take for granted. In Part 1 of this conversation, Andy Baker speaks with Baroness Ruth Lister about the reality of child poverty in the UK and the impact it has on children’s education, identity, relationships and wellbeing. Ruth challenges common assumptions about poverty and explains why most children living in poverty have at least one parent in paid employment. This episode will be especially relevant to teachers, caregivers, parents, support workers and anyone working with children and families. It offers a clearer understanding of how financial hardship can sit underneath attendance difficulties, social withdrawal, unmet practical needs and behaviour that may otherwise be judged too quickly. In This Episode Andy and Ruth explore: What child poverty means beyond the official statistics How poverty affects children’s confidence, identity and ability to belong Why school attendance can be affected by uniform costs, caring responsibilities and family circumstances The scale and depth of child poverty in the UK Why paid employment is not a guaranteed route out of poverty The impact of housing costs and private rents The role of childcare, flexible work and social security The difference between the two-child limit and the benefit cap Why poverty should be understood through children’s rights and wellbeing Three Key Messages 1. Child poverty affects participation as well as basic needs. Children may have food and shelter but still be excluded from friendships, school activities, trips, clubs and the possessions that help them feel they belong. 2. Most children in poverty are not living in workless households. Low wages, high rents, childcare costs and insecure or inflexible employment mean that paid work does not always provide enough income for a family. 3. Policies aimed at parents are ultimately experienced by children. Whatever judgement people make about adult decisions, children have no control over their family’s circumstances and should not carry the consequences through hunger, exclusion or shame. Why Listen to This Episode? Listen if you: Work with children whose attendance or engagement is becoming a concern Support families struggling with food, clothing, housing or childcare costs Want to understand the difference between poverty and worklessness Have heard debates about the two-child limit or benefit cap but are unsure how they affect families Want to make your school, care service or community more poverty-aware Are a parent who is working but still struggling financially Want to respond to families with greater empathy and less judgement For educators and caregivers, the conversation offers an important reminder to ask what may be happening around a child before treating absence, unsuitable clothing, withdrawal or non-participation as a lack of effort. Timestamps / Chapters 00:00 - What child poverty really means Why poverty includes hunger, inadequate clothing, social exclusion and children being unable to enjoy their childhood. 01:59 - School attendance, uniforms and hidden hardship Why a child may be absent for reasons that are not immediately visible to the school. 03:22 - Poverty, belonging and the cost of joining in How electronics, activities, clothing and friendships affect children’s emerging identity. 04:57 - How many UK children are living in poverty? Understanding the scale of child poverty and the meaning of deep poverty. 06:18 - How poverty is officially measured Income, housing costs and why measuring poverty allows comparison over time. 07:54 - The reality of in-work poverty Why most children in poverty live in a household where at least one parent works. 10:23 - Why housing costs matter so much Private rents, housing support and families being pushed below the poverty line. 12:01 - The main drivers of child poverty Housing costs, social-security reductions and the challenge of combining work with childcare. 14:34 - The Good Society Starts Small Redistribution, rights, political resolve and policies that could reduce child poverty. 17:20 - The two-child limit and the benefit cap Why these are separate policies and how each affects family income. 23:32 - Children should not be punished for circumstances outside their control The effect of policy choices on every child in a household. 25:00 - Universal Credit and working families Why people in employment may still qualify for financial support. Resources Mentioned The Good Society Starts Small A report by Baroness Ruth Lister examining child poverty through redistribution, rights and political resolve. https://www.compassonline.org.uk/publications/the-good-society-starts-small/ Poverty, Second Edition Ruth Lister’s book explores poverty as both a material condition and a lived social experience involving dignity, voice, respect and citizenship. https://www.wiley.com/en-gb/Poverty%2C+2nd+Edition-p-9780745645971 Ruth Lister - Loughborough University https://www.lboro.ac.uk/subjects/social-policy-studies/staff/honorary/ruth-lister/ Contact Ruth Lister listerr@parliament.uk Support and Benefits Advice People who are working may still be eligible for Universal Credit or other support. Citizens Advice and local welfare-rights organisations may be able to help families check what they are entitled to receive. https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/ About Ruth Lister Baroness Ruth Lister is Emeritus Professor of Social Policy at Loughborough University and a leading writer and researcher on poverty, inequality, citizenship and social justice. She previously worked for the Child Poverty Action Group and has spent decades examining both the economic reality of poverty and the way people experiencing poverty are treated, represented and heard. Follow Able to Care Podcast website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/AbleTraining TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abletocarepodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast Part 2 continues next Tuesday, exploring the long-term cost of child poverty, poverty-aware schools, migrant families, dignity and practical ways to support parents experiencing hardship.

  2. Aug 10

    Adapting Activities for Dementia with Florence Tyloo - Part 2

    In Part 2 of this conversation, dementia engagement specialist Florence Tyloo explores how caregivers can adapt activities as a person’s abilities, visual processing and communication change. Florence challenges the assumption that someone has lost interest simply because they do not immediately participate. The problem may be that they cannot see the equipment, understand the instructions or complete the activity in the way it has been presented. Andy and Florence discuss how to create achievable challenges, protect a person’s self-esteem and use family knowledge to uncover meaningful roles and interests. They also examine visual-field changes in dementia, the N.U.T.S. framework for reducing stress and why presence matters more than completing an activity correctly. This episode offers practical ideas for professional carers, activity coordinators, family caregivers and anyone who wants to create more person-centred dementia activities. In This Episode Florence explains how she begins with an achievable version of an activity and then gradually increases the challenge. This allows the person to experience early success without removing every opportunity for growth or mastery. She explores why asking, “What activities are good for dementia?” can lead caregivers in the wrong direction. A better question is: “What activity is meaningful, achievable and enjoyable for this particular person today?” Florence also describes how families can help carers understand a person’s history, identity and former roles. Examples include asking a former teacher to help with a dictation exercise or inviting a person who enjoyed reading to read aloud for others. The episode also examines visual-field changes, contrast and the importance of placing objects where the person can actually see them. Three Key Messages 1. Adapt the activity before assuming the person cannot participate. Changes in vision, processing, movement or communication may require a different presentation, position or level of challenge. 2. A person’s history provides clues, not restrictions. Past interests can inspire meaningful engagement, but people living with dementia should still be offered new experiences and opportunities. 3. The quality of the moment matters more than completing the task. An activity does not need to be done perfectly to create joy, confidence, connection or a sense of achievement. Chapters 00:00 - Adapting activities as abilities change Beginning with success and gradually increasing the challenge. 03:59 - What activities are good for dementia? Why the activity must be matched to the individual rather than the diagnosis. 06:42 - When familiar activities become emotionally difficult How a former talent can sometimes highlight loss instead of creating enjoyment. 09:08 - How families can help identify meaningful activities Using personal history, interests, routines and former roles. 10:58 - A former parent helping with schoolwork again How a dictation activity created purpose, presence and connection. 13:13 - Using meaningful roles to reduce repeated questions Moving from “What do I do?” towards an activity that feels familiar and useful. 16:23 - Understanding visual changes in dementia Why a person may not see a chair, drink, basketball hoop or object placed beside them. 19:31 - Adapting the environment rather than blaming the person Making engagement possible by changing positioning, contrast and presentation. 21:42 - Revisiting the N.U.T.S. framework How caregivers can reduce novelty, unpredictability, threats to the ego and loss of control. 23:37 - Stress is based on perception, not objective reality Why a familiar situation may still feel new or unpredictable to the person. 27:50 - Offering greater choice and control Using small decisions to reduce resistance and protect autonomy. 29:51 - Letting go of getting the activity right Why caregivers need to acknowledge challenge without treating it as personal failure. 31:54 - Presence, play and imperfect activities Finding enjoyment without requiring the person to follow every rule. 34:05 - One simple activity to try this week Using familiar music, balloons or an aiming game to invite connection. 36:02 - Florence’s workshops and dementia resources Where to find visual-change training, N.U.T.S. workshops and free dementia talks. Why Listen to This Episode? Listen if you: Need practical ideas for adapting dementia activities Want to understand visual-processing and visual-field changes Support someone who frequently refuses or disengages from activities Are worried about making an activity too difficult or too childish Want to use family knowledge more effectively in care planning Need strategies for giving someone greater autonomy and control Work with people experiencing distressed behaviour Want engagement to become part of everyday dementia care The conversation will help you replace “They cannot do it” or “They are not interested” with more useful questions: Can the person see it? Does the instruction make sense? Is the activity threatening their confidence? Have they been given genuine control? Could the activity be presented differently? Is this the right activity for this person today? Resources Mentioned Dementia Partnered Care Florence Tyloo offers dementia-engagement support, training and consultancy for caregivers, families and organisations. Website: https://www.dementia-partnered-care.co.uk Email: info@dementia-partnered-care.co.uk Available support includes: Visual Changes in Dementia workshop Understanding Stress using the N.U.T.S. framework Free 30-minute dementia talks Practical dementia-engagement guidance Videos demonstrating how activities can be adapted across different stages of dementia Florence Tyloo on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/florence-tyloo-msc-a20519138 Dementia Partnered Care on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61573984471347 N.U.T.S. Stress Framework Florence’s training explores four common ingredients of psychological stress: Novelty Unpredictability Threat to the ego Low sense of control This framework can help caregivers understand both their own stress and the distress experienced by someone living with dementia. Visual Changes in Dementia Florence discusses how changes to visual fields, contrast sensitivity and visual processing may affect: Sitting safely in a chair Finding food and drink Seeing objects placed to the side Participating in games Navigating the environment Understanding what a caregiver is asking The Adaptive Caregiver Model The Adaptive Caregiver Model: Walking With, Not Ahead - A Practical Guide to Dementia Care That Adapts to the Person, Not the Diagnosis https://www.amazon.co.uk/Adaptive-Caregiver-Model-Practical-Diagnosis/dp/1918283060 The model explores how caregivers can adapt their role and approach around the needs, abilities and lived reality of the individual. About the Guest Florence Tyloo is a dementia engagement specialist based in Exeter. She studied psychology in Switzerland and has worked with people living with dementia across Switzerland, the United States and the United Kingdom. Her professional practice is also shaped by family experience. Florence grew up close to her great-grandmother, who lived with Alzheimer’s disease, and her grandmother now lives with frontotemporal dementia. Florence works closely with families to create meaningful engagement that maintains connection, reduces stress and helps people living with dementia retain purpose, choice and dignity. About the Able to Care Podcast The Able to Care Podcast supports paid and unpaid caregivers, teachers and parents to better understand themselves, understand those they support and navigate the care and education systems. Podcast website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast Follow Able LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abletocarepodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/AbleTraining If this episode gives you a useful dementia-care idea, please follow the podcast and share it with a caregiver, activity coordinator, family member or colleague who may benefit.

  3. Aug 3

    Meaningful Activities in Dementia Care with Florence Tyloo - Part 1

    Activities in dementia care should be about far more than filling time. In the first part of this conversation, Andy Baker speaks with dementia engagement specialist Florence Tyloo about how meaningful activities can preserve abilities, reduce psychological stress and help people living with dementia continue to feel capable, valued and connected. Florence draws on her professional experience in Switzerland, the United States and the United Kingdom, alongside her family experience of dementia. She explains how familiar music, movement, conversation, games and everyday care tasks can become opportunities for connection. This episode will be particularly valuable for professional carers, unpaid family caregivers, activity coordinators and anyone trying to maintain a relationship with someone whose communication or cognitive abilities are changing. In This Episode Florence explains why activities such as bingo can provide cognitive stimulation when they are adapted around the person’s abilities, rather than simply being used to keep people occupied. She introduces the N.U.T.S. framework for understanding psychological stress: N - Novelty U - Unpredictability T - Threat to the ego S - Low sense of control Florence and Andy also explore how music, singing, movement and familiar helping roles can reduce stress without telling someone simply to “calm down”. The conversation considers the different dementia-care lessons Florence has taken from working in Switzerland, the United States and the United Kingdom, including relationship-led personal care, individualised activities and protecting a person’s right to make decisions involving risk. Three Key Messages 1. Meaningful activity is not simply entertainment. A carefully adapted activity can stimulate memory, attention, movement, communication and decision-making while helping the person feel useful and capable. 2. Stress affects everyone involved in dementia care. Novelty, unpredictability, threats to self-esteem and a loss of control can increase distress for both the person living with dementia and their caregiver. 3. Connection does not depend upon conversation. Music, movement, balloons, touch, shared laughter and simply spending time together can create valuable moments even when verbal communication becomes difficult. Chapters 00:00 - What meaningful dementia activities really are Why engagement should go beyond bingo, colouring and keeping someone busy. 02:14 - Using existing abilities instead of focusing on losses How activities can involve reading, attention, coordination and helping others. 03:35 - Understanding stress through the N.U.T.S. framework Novelty, unpredictability, threat to the ego and a low sense of control. 05:53 - How movement and singing can lower stress Using physical activity, breathing and familiar music to support regulation. 11:14 - What different countries taught Florence about dementia care Lessons from Switzerland, the United States and the United Kingdom. 13:49 - Making engagement part of everyday care Why getting dressed, washing and moving between rooms can all become opportunities for connection. 18:21 - Protecting choice, autonomy and positive risk-taking Supporting people living with dementia to continue making decisions. 20:10 - Rebuilding connection when dementia changes communication Why caregivers must also acknowledge their own emotions and limitations. 22:54 - Activities as a bridge to the person Using balloons, basketball, touch and shared experiences when conversation becomes difficult. 26:03 - Creating moments rather than expecting memories Why positive emotional and physical effects can remain even when an event is forgotten. 28:56 - Recognising when an activity is increasing stress Reading body language, frustration, withdrawal and changes in engagement. Why Listen to This Episode? Listen if you: Struggle to know how to connect with someone living with dementia Want practical dementia activity ideas that are genuinely person-centred Support someone who no longer communicates in the way they once did Need help recognising when an activity is supportive or overwhelming Want to understand how stress influences dementia-related distress Work in a care home, day service, hospital or community-care setting Are an unpaid caregiver trying to create more positive moments at home This episode offers a compassionate reminder that successful engagement is not measured by completing an activity perfectly. What matters is whether the person experiences safety, dignity, purpose and connection. Resources Mentioned Dementia Partnered Care Florence Tyloo provides dementia engagement support, consultancy and practical workshops for professional and family caregivers. Website: https://www.dementia-partnered-care.co.uk Email: info@dementia-partnered-care.co.uk Florence offers: Workshops on visual changes associated with dementia Training using the N.U.T.S. stress framework Free 30-minute dementia talks Practical dementia-engagement guidance Videos demonstrating adapted activities, including basketball across different stages of dementia Florence Tyloo on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/florence-tyloo-msc-a20519138 Dementia Partnered Care on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61573984471347 Positive Approach to Care Florence refers to the work of Teepa Snow and the Positive Approach to Care, which supports practical, compassionate and ability-focused dementia care. N.U.T.S. Stress Framework The framework discussed by Florence is based on the work of neuroscientist Sonia Lupien and the Centre for Studies on Human Stress: Novelty Unpredictability Threat to the ego Low sense of control The Adaptive Caregiver Model The Adaptive Caregiver Model: Walking With, Not Ahead - A Practical Guide to Dementia Care That Adapts to the Person, Not the Diagnosis https://www.amazon.co.uk/Adaptive-Caregiver-Model-Practical-Diagnosis/dp/1918283060 About the Guest Florence Tyloo is a dementia engagement specialist based in Exeter. She studied psychology in Switzerland and has supported people living with dementia in Switzerland, the United States and the United Kingdom. Alongside her professional experience, Florence grew up close to her great-grandmother, who lived with Alzheimer’s disease. Her grandmother now lives with frontotemporal dementia in the same care home. Florence’s work focuses on helping caregivers use meaningful activities to maintain connection, reduce stress, empower the person and create positive moments throughout the dementia journey. About the Able to Care Podcast The Able to Care Podcast supports paid and unpaid caregivers, teachers and parents to understand themselves, better understand those they support and navigate the care and education systems. Podcast website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast Follow Able LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abletocarepodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/AbleTraining If this conversation helps you think differently about dementia activities and meaningful engagement, please follow the podcast and share the episode with a caregiver, family member or colleague who may benefit.

  4. Jul 27

    Breaking Cycles of Trauma: Parenting, Social Work and the Power of Honest Support

    In Part 2 of this conversation, Andy Baker continues with Ethan St Pierre, Dr Alice Loving and Azariah Hope to explore what happens when parents and families are watched, assessed and misunderstood by the very systems meant to help them. This episode looks at the impact of labels such as addict, personality disorder or non-compliant, and asks what parents really need in order to feel safe enough to engage. It also digs into parenting after trauma, what support actually helps, why honesty and consistency matter, and how connection before correction should apply not only to children, but to the adults caring for them too. For teachers, caregivers, social workers and parents, this is a powerful discussion about accountability, compassion, system change and the possibility of breaking intergenerational cycles. Why listen to this episode? This episode is essential listening for anyone working in or around children’s social care, trauma-informed parenting, foster care or family support. It highlights what shuts parents down, what helps them stay engaged, and why the quality of the relationship with professionals can change everything. It is also a moving reminder that healing is possible, but only when support is honest, human and strong enough to hold complexity over time. Three key messages: Labels can sometimes offer context, but they can also leave people feeling defeated, misunderstood and written off before real support has even begun. Parents are far more likely to engage when professionals lead with honesty, compassion, consistency and a genuine wish to understand, not simply assess. Breaking cycles of trauma and harm takes time, safe relationships, accountability and practical support - not just surveillance, plans and pressure. Timestamps / chapters: 00:00 - Ethan on labels, addiction, ADHD and how language shapes recovery 04:49 - Azariah on diagnosis, identity and why labels can become a prison 11:28 - Parenting while being watched, assessed and misunderstood 24:55 - What helps parents feel safe enough to engage with services 38:23 - Connection before correction for parents as well as children 45:18 - Love, trust, honesty and why systems need to change 48:06 - Hopeful Disrupter event and closing reflections Resources mentioned / relevant links: Hopeful Disrupter event, London, 5 June - details shared during the episode. Ethan St Pierre Email: https://nurturingnaturecic.org/ Event: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/a-voice-at-the-table-learning-from-lived-experience-tickets-1985054684999 Email: https://www.linkedin.com/in/azariah-hope-6b90551b0/ Website: https://www.futuresrerooted.co.uk/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_azariahhope_/ Email: azariahhope@futuresrerooted.co.uk Able to Care / Able Training Podcast: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/AbleTraining TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abletocarepodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast Guest background: Ethan St Pierre brings direct lived experience, alongside his work as a trainer and public speaker. Dr Alice Loving is a Family Intervention Specialist with expertise in attachment, trauma, parenting and child protection. Azariah Hope is Director of Futures Rerooted and brings direct lived experience of care, trauma, motherhood and long-term social work involvement, alongside consultancy and training work.

  5. Jul 20

    Understanding Trauma in Children and Families: Beyond Labels, Behaviour and Blame

    In Part 1 of this powerful two-part conversation, Andy Baker is joined by Ethan St Pierre, Dr Alice Loving and Azariah Hope to unpack what people most often get wrong about trauma, behaviour and labels. This episode explores why trauma is not always visible, why it should not be reduced to a single event, and how terms like attention seeking, manipulative, aggressive or perpetrator can block curiosity and shut down healing. For caregivers, teachers, parents and professionals, this is a thoughtful, honest discussion about fear, survival, identity and the danger of mistaking coping strategies for character flaws. If you support children, families or adults who have lived through adversity, this episode offers a more compassionate lens for understanding what behaviour might really be communicating. Why listen to this episode? If you work with children, parents or families affected by trauma, this episode will help you slow down your assumptions and look beneath the surface. You will hear lived experience and professional insight side by side, including why trauma is often misread, why labels can become harmful, and how fear can sit underneath behaviours that services often judge too quickly. It is especially relevant for anyone in children’s social care, education, foster care, therapeutic support or parenting. Three key messages:** Trauma is not always obvious, and it is often the lasting impact - not just the event itself - that shapes daily life, relationships and behaviour. Labels such as attention seeking, manipulative or aggressive can stop adults getting curious about what fear, stress or unmet need may be sitting underneath. Children and parents need spaces where behaviour is understood as communication, not just judged as risk, defiance or character failure. Timestamps / chapters: 00:00 - Welcome and first reflections on what people get wrong about trauma 01:48 - Ethan on trauma, pain and post-traumatic growth 04:12 - Alice on trauma, impact and intergenerational harm 06:36 - Why trauma is not defined only by the event 07:59 - Hyperarousal, hypoarousal and how fear shows up in parents 16:12 - When behaviour gets labelled aggressive, manipulative or attention seeking 17:01 - Azariah on why labels can block understanding 19:20 - Labels, diagnosis and the damage done when people feel written off 42:46 - End of Part 1 Resources mentioned / relevant links: Hopeful Disrupter event, London, 5 June - details shared during the episode. Ethan St Pierre Email: https://nurturingnaturecic.org/ Event: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/a-voice-at-the-table-learning-from-lived-experience-tickets-1985054684999 Email: https://www.linkedin.com/in/azariah-hope-6b90551b0/ Website: https://www.futuresrerooted.co.uk/ Instagram: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/AbleTraining TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abletocarepodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast Guest background: Ethan St Pierre brings direct lived experience, alongside his work as a trainer and public speaker. Dr Alice Loving is a Family Intervention Specialist with deep expertise in attachment, trauma, parenting and child protection. Azariah Hope brings direct lived experience of trauma, care, motherhood and social work involvement, and now works through Futures Rerooted to bridge gaps between communities and professionals.

  6. Jul 13

    Personal Care Refusal in Dementia Care: How to Reduce Distress and Build Trust

    In this solo episode, Andy Baker explores one of the most common and emotionally loaded challenges in adult care, dementia support, residential services and home care: refusal. Too often, refusal is framed as non-compliance, defiance or “being difficult”. But what if refusal is actually communication? What if the behaviour is not about aggression, but about fear, vulnerability, pain, sensory overload, loss of control or a threat to dignity? This episode is especially relevant for paid and unpaid caregivers, support workers, care staff, parents and educators who want to better understand the people they support rather than simply control behaviour. Andy breaks down how personal care can feel threatening, why task-focused approaches can make things worse, and how a calmer, more relational response can reduce distress, protect trust and improve cooperation over time. He also introduces a practical framework - the 6 Cs - to help carers think more clearly in the moment and respond with more empathy, consistency and skill. Why listen to this episode? If you support someone who resists help, becomes distressed during care, or reacts strongly to tasks like washing, dressing, medication or personal support, this episode will help you: understand why refusal is often communication, not simple defiance reduce distress without power struggles or force protect dignity, trust and emotional safety during care tasks reflect more effectively on what is really driving resistance use the 6 Cs to improve care planning, consistency and outcomes Three key messages Refusal is communication, not just non-compliance. When someone resists care, there is usually a reason underneath it - fear, pain, shame, confusion, sensory discomfort, trauma, autonomy or distress. If you force the task, you may lose trust. You might get the immediate outcome, but at the cost of dignity, safety and future cooperation. Better care starts with curiosity, not control. The 6 Cs - comfort, consistency, connection, choice, competency and challenge - offer a practical way to understand what is driving the refusal and respond more effectively. Timestamps / Chapters 00:00 - Refusal is communication, not just non-compliance Why forcing a task may win the moment but damage trust, dignity and future cooperation. 00:30 - The scenario: when personal care turns into an incident A support worker tries to help, the person reacts strongly, and the story quickly becomes “they were being difficult”. 01:15 - Why personal care can feel like a threat How washing, changing, medication and support can trigger fear, vulnerability, sensory discomfort, embarrassment, trauma, pride or a loss of autonomy. 02:58 - The 6 Cs: a practical framework for understanding refusal Andy introduces comfort, consistency, connection, choice, competency and challenge as a real-time care tool. 03:10 - Comfort Is the person in pain, overloaded, disoriented, tired or physically uncomfortable? 03:32 - Consistency Why different staff doing the same task in different ways can increase distress - and why teams need better shared data, not just opinions. 05:55 - Connection before solution Why going in just to do the task often fails - and why relationship, rapport and human connection matter first. 07:02 - Choice, competency and challenge How offering real choices, preserving independence and recognising fluctuating ability can reduce resistance and protect dignity. 09:19 - A better practical approach to refusal Softening the approach, offering acceptable options, protecting dignity and pacing support more carefully. 11:04 - If they escalate, do not double down Why pausing, stepping back and lowering the demand is often safer and more effective than pushing harder. 12:52 - Refusal is data Whether in adult care, dementia support, parenting or education, refusal should be treated as information - not automatically as defiance. Resources mentioned Able Training - behaviour management, care training and practical support for professionals and services able-training.co.uk/podcast Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge by Andy Baker Andy refers to principles from his book throughout the episode. The Adaptive Caregiver Model: Walking With, Not Ahead: A Practical Guide to Dementia Care That Adapts to the Person, Not the Diagnosis https://www.amazon.co.uk/Adaptive-Caregiver-Model-Practical-Diagnosis/dp/1918283060 Able links Website: able-training.co.uk/podcast LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/AbleTraining TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abletocarepodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast Final reflection If someone refuses personal care, medication or support, it is easy to focus on the task and miss the message. But behaviour is often the clearest communication a distressed person has. When we slow down, get curious and ask what has made this feel threatening, we give ourselves a better chance of responding with dignity, compassion and skill. If this episode helped, please like, follow, share or comment so more caregivers, parents, teachers and support staff can access the conversation.

  7. Jul 6 ·  Bonus

    What Children’s Homes Really Need: Rhiannon Hughes on Staffing, Trust and Therapeutic Care

    In Part 2 of this two-part conversation, Andy Baker continues his discussion with Rhiannon Hughes, exploring how her lived experience in care now shapes the way she recruits staff for children’s homes - and why that matters so much. Rhiannon shares what she looks for beyond a CV, the difference between an adult who simply works in a children’s home and one who genuinely changes a child’s life, and why consistency, emotional steadiness and therapeutic care matter more than ever. This episode will be especially valuable for residential childcare staff, managers, foster carers, social care leaders, and anyone interested in trauma-informed practice, workforce development and improving outcomes for children in care. In this episode, we explore: What good staffing really looks like in children’s homes Why connection matters more than simply covering shifts The traits Rhiannon looks for when recruiting staff Why some adults build trust and others lose it quickly How lived experience can shape better leadership in children’s care Rhiannon’s vision for opening her own children’s homes Three key messages from this episode: Children’s homes need adults who do not take behaviour personally and who can stay emotionally steady when children are pushing them away. Recruitment in residential childcare should not just be about filling vacancies - it should be about finding adults who can build trust, safety and consistency. Real care means helping children build independence, confidence and practical life skills - not just supervising them through the day. Timestamps / Chapters: 24:20 - Part 2 begins: from lived experience to purposeful recruitment 24:20 - What Rhiannon looks for beyond a CV 25:39 - The difference between an adult who works in care and one who changes lives 26:49 - Why children who reject love often need it most 27:16 - Being the eldest sibling and carrying responsibility early 28:00 - Supporting her sister through homelessness and addiction 36:47 - Why Rhiannon wants to open her own children’s homes 42:52 - What she would do differently in children’s residential care 47:18 - Why care leavers should be encouraged back into the sector 47:51 - The one non-negotiable value she would build into her home 48:54 - Her message for young people who feel unwanted or unsafe Why listen to this episode: This episode is a powerful reminder that staffing is never just a numbers issue. In children’s homes, the right adult can change everything. Rhiannon brings a perspective that combines lived experience, care sector insight and a clear vision for doing things better. If you care about therapeutic care, stable teams, trauma-informed practice and building homes where children feel safe, seen and supported, this episode will give you plenty to reflect on. Resources mentioned / useful links: Rhiannon Hughes LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rhiannon-hughes-a85469217?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app Residential Recruitment: http://www.residentialrecruitment.co.uk Contact Rhiannon: Rhiannon@residentialrecruitment.co.uk Follow Able / Able to Care: Website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abletocarepodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/AbleTraining

  8. Jun 29

    Growing Up in Care: Rhiannon Hughes on Trauma, Survival and Sibling Separation

    In Part 1 of this two-part conversation, Andy Baker speaks with Rhiannon Hughes about her lived experience of growing up in care in both the UK and Spain, being separated from siblings, surviving instability, and carrying adult responsibilities from a very young age. Rhiannon shares what care felt like from the inside, what she needed most from the adults around her, and how trauma, inconsistency and loss shaped her journey. This episode will resonate with paid and unpaid caregivers, teachers, foster carers, parents and anyone supporting children with trauma, attachment needs or care experience. It is an honest, moving conversation about grief, survival, resilience and why the right adult relationships matter so much. In this episode, we explore: What it felt like to enter care as a child The impact of separation from siblings and repeated disruption Differences between care experiences in the UK and Spain What children in care really need from adults around them How trauma, survival mode and responsibility shape identity Rhiannon’s powerful story of helping her sister out of homelessness and addiction Three key messages from this episode: Children in care do not just need placements - they need consistency, patience and adults who keep showing up. Trauma can make children highly alert to people, threat and instability, so relationships must feel safe before they can feel meaningful. Lived experience can become a source of strength, empathy and purpose - but it often comes at a significant emotional cost. Timestamps / Chapters: 00:00 - Introduction and why this conversation matters 00:32 - Entering care at six years old due to abuse and neglect 02:15 - Foster care, children’s homes and sibling separation 04:01 - Moving to Spain and re-entering care overseas 05:19 - The grief of losing parents, home, siblings and safety 06:24 - What Rhiannon needed most from adults: consistency and patience 09:30 - The difference between care in Spain and the UK 12:13 - What resilience really cost her 15:49 - Leaving care, homelessness and falling through the gaps 19:16 - Finding purpose in lived experience and moving into care recruitment 23:42 - Why connection and consistency matter more than just filling staff gaps Why listen to this episode: If you work with children in care, support care-experienced young people, or want to better understand trauma from the inside out, this episode is essential listening. Rhiannon’s story is raw, honest and deeply human. It offers a powerful reminder that behind every behaviour is a history, behind every coping strategy is a survival story, and behind every “difficult” young person is often a child who has had to grow up far too soon. Resources mentioned / useful links: Rhiannon Hughes LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rhiannon-hughes-a85469217?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app Residential Recruitment: http://www.residentialrecruitment.co.uk Contact Rhiannon: Rhiannon@residentialrecruitment.co.uk Follow Able / Able to Care: Website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abletocarepodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/AbleTraining Coming next: Part 2 is released next Tuesday, where the conversation shifts into staffing, recruitment, children’s homes, therapeutic care, and what truly makes an adult change a child’s life.

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About

Able to Care with Andy Baker helps caregivers, teachers, parents and people who care, better understand behaviour, care and connection. Hosted by Behaviour Specialist, author and trainer Andy Baker, the podcast explores dementia, neurodiversity, mental health, education, parenting, safeguarding, communication and the human stories behind support.

Information

  • Creator
    Andy Baker (Able Training)
  • Years Active
    2022 - 2026
  • Episodes
    100
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2022 Able Training Support Limited.
  • Show Website
    Able to Care

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