Able to Care

Andy Baker (Able Training)
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Able to Care with Andy Baker helps caregivers, teachers, parents and people who care, better understand behaviour, care and connection. Hosted by Behaviour Specialist, author and trainer Andy Baker, the podcast explores dementia, neurodiversity, mental health, education, parenting, safeguarding, communication and the human stories behind support.

  1. 4h ago

    Beyond Rewards and Sanctions - Part 1

    What if some of the behaviour strategies adults rely on most are actually making things harder? In Part 1 of this conversation, Andy Baker speaks with Samantha Dholakia, behaviour, inclusion and emotional regulation specialist and CEO of The Behaviour Bank, about why rewards, sanctions and behaviour charts can sometimes undermine the very behaviours adults are trying to encourage. Samantha explains the difference between short-term compliance and sustainable behaviour change, why intrinsic motivation matters, and how gamification, collaboration, celebration and compassionate boundaries can create better outcomes. The episode also introduces Samantha’s Behaviour Balance System, which focuses on emotional regulation, sensory needs, relationships and the whole child rather than simply trying to manage behaviour. This episode will be particularly useful for teachers, parents, caregivers, school leaders and anyone supporting children who struggle with behaviour, emotional regulation, demand avoidance, motivation or belonging. In This Episode Andy and Samantha explore: Why rewards can work for simple tasks but become problematic when overused The difference between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation Why behaviour charts and escalating rewards can lose their impact How gamification can make everyday tasks easier Why celebration is different from bribery How demand avoidance can make traditional reward systems ineffective Turning “no” into “yes” without removing boundaries Why children need compassion and structure at the same time The Behaviour Balance System Moving away from behaviour management and towards regulation Teaching the skills that sit underneath behaviour expectations The importance of sensory input, sleep, nutrition and communication Replacing “good” and “bad” behaviour with “useful” and “not useful” Helping children build an inner cheerleader instead of an inner critic Three Key Messages 1. Rewards may create short-term compliance without creating long-term motivation. If children learn that every task requires an external payoff, they may stop seeing the value in the activity itself. 2. Behaviour is communication. Behaviour is influenced by sensory needs, emotional regulation, beliefs, experiences and unmet needs. Sustainable change requires us to understand what is driving the behaviour. 3. Boundaries do not need to disappear to become compassionate. Adults can hold clear expectations while reducing unnecessary friction, offering connection and helping children feel safe enough to cooperate. Why Listen to This Episode? Listen if you: Regularly use sticker charts or reward systems and wonder why they stop working Support children who become more oppositional when offered rewards or consequences Work with children with demand-avoidant profiles Want alternatives to traditional behaviour management Are trying to build intrinsic motivation Want practical approaches to emotional regulation Feel stuck between being “too strict” and “too permissive” Want to better understand what sits underneath behaviour The episode challenges some familiar behaviour-management assumptions without suggesting that adults abandon structure or expectations. Instead, the focus is on building environments where children can develop emotional regulation, confidence, intrinsic motivation and sustainable behavioural skills. Timestamps / Chapters 00:00 - Can rewards and behaviour charts make behaviour worse? Why some behaviour systems work for simple tasks but fail when creativity, motivation and emotional regulation are involved. 02:46 - What rewards can do to intrinsic motivation Why children are naturally driven to learn and what can happen when every task becomes transactional. 03:26 - Gamifying everyday tasks Samantha shares how games can replace repetitive reward systems. 05:25 - Celebration versus reward Why sharing pride and celebrating achievement can be more powerful than “if you do this, you get that”. 07:10 - Why external motivation eventually loses its power The problem with continually increasing the size or value of rewards. 08:42 - Why traditional behaviour psychology can oversimplify children Rewards, punishment and why humans are more complicated than simple stimulus-response models. 10:10 - Demand avoidance and the need for control Why rewards and sanctions can increase anxiety for some children. 10:38 - Turning a “no” into a “yes” Reducing friction while still holding a clear boundary. 14:10 - What is the Behaviour Balance System? Moving away from managing behaviour and towards emotional regulation, sensory needs and sustainable change. 16:21 - Teaching the skills underneath behaviour Why expectations such as sharing need to be explicitly broken down and practised. 18:05 - The Behaviour Bank Sleep, nutrition, communication, emotional regulation and a whole-child approach. 19:40 - Useful behaviour versus “good” and “bad” behaviour Removing guilt, shame and blame from conversations about behaviour. 21:23 - Building an inner cheerleader Helping children develop a more compassionate internal voice. 23:59 - End of Part 1 Resources Mentioned The Behaviour Bank The Behaviour Bank is Samantha’s online behaviour, inclusion and emotional regulation hub for schools, nurseries and families. It includes: Expert-led CPD Practical behaviour strategies Emotional regulation tools Downloadable resources Parent support Implementation guidance Neuroscience-informed approaches Support around sleep, nutrition and wellbeing Email: spd@thebehaviourbank.com Behaviour Balance System™ Samantha’s Behaviour Balance System focuses on: Emotional regulation Sensory needs Relationships Intrinsic motivation Belonging Executive functioning Communication Sustainable behaviour change YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@SPDTrainingandConsultancy3216 LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/samantha-dholakia-142ab57a/ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/spdtrainingandconsultancy/ Other Samantha Dholakia Resources TTS World of Education podcast: https://worldofeducation.tts-group.co.uk/meet-podcast-guest-samantha-dholakia/ HiPP Organic expert profile: https://www.hipp.co.uk/expert/samantha-dholakia Connect Childcare - Big Feelings, Big Behaviour: https://connectchildcare.com/blog/big-feelings-big-behaviour/ Twinkl articles: https://www.twinkl.co.uk/blog/author/samantha-dholakia The Voice of Early Childhood - The Full Emotional Diet: https://thevoiceofearlychildhood.com/the-full-emotional-diet-finding-emotional-balance-in-the-early-years/ About Samantha Dholakia Samantha Dholakia is a behaviour, inclusion and emotional regulation specialist with nearly 20 years of experience supporting schools to create emotionally safe and inclusive learning environments. A former Deputy Headteacher, Samantha is the founder of SPD Training and Consultancy and creator of The Behaviour Balance System™ and The Behaviour Bank™. Her work helps educators and families move beyond traditional behaviour management towards approaches rooted in neuroscience, emotional regulation, relationships, belonging and inclusion. She delivers keynote presentations, consultancy, professional development and parent strategy sessions across the UK and internationally. Follow Able to Care Podcast website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/AbleTraining TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abletocarepodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast Part 2 continues next Tuesday, exploring emotional intelligence, the future of education, belonging, rejection, gang culture and why children need more than behaviour management to thrive.

  2. Sep 7

    Dementia Care, Boundaries and Family Conflict with Lisa Daniels - Part 2

    In Part 2 of Andy Baker’s conversation with Lisa Daniels, the focus moves from diagnosis and grief into the day-to-day emotional reality of caring for someone living with dementia. Lisa and Andy explore why caregivers often feel guilty for needing a break, why saying “I can’t do this today” can actually be a healthy boundary, and how family relationships can become strained when siblings or relatives experience the same dementia journey very differently. Lisa shares her own experience of feeling relief during COVID when she was temporarily unable to visit her mother in care - and the guilt that came with that relief. The episode also explores family conflict, communication patterns, Transactional Analysis, ego states and how counselling can help families understand why conversations keep breaking down. This episode is particularly useful for family carers, sandwich carers, professional caregivers and anyone who feels emotionally exhausted, guilty or stuck while supporting someone living with dementia. In This Episode Andy and Lisa explore: Why no two dementia experiences are truly the same Setting boundaries without feeling selfish Recognising when you are not emotionally able to visit Why caregivers need permission to put themselves first sometimes Relief, guilt and complicated emotions during caregiving Creating quality interactions instead of forcing long visits How to make visits more meaningful Using activities, meals and touch to create connection Family conflict between siblings and relatives The Drama Triangle in dementia caregiving Financial decisions and disagreements around care How counselling can support difficult family conversations Transactional Analysis and ego states Parent, Adult and Child communication patterns How dementia can change the way conversations are reciprocated Why emotional support after diagnosis is often missing The importance of individualised counselling Taking the first step when you feel you cannot carry the load anymore Three Key Messages 1. Boundaries are part of good caregiving. If you are exhausted, angry or emotionally overwhelmed, taking a break may protect both you and the person you support. 2. Family members can experience the same dementia journey very differently. Distance, gender roles, history, personality and grief can all shape how people respond, which is why sibling conflict is so common. 3. Communication patterns matter. Understanding how we move between Parent, Adult and Child ego states can help families recognise why conversations escalate and how to respond differently. Why Listen to This Episode? Listen if you: Feel guilty for needing time away from your loved one Are struggling to set boundaries Feel relief when you do not have to visit, then feel guilty about that relief Are arguing with siblings about who should provide care Feel like one person in the family is doing everything Find visits uncomfortable or emotionally draining Want to understand Transactional Analysis and communication patterns Feel emotionally exhausted and unsure how much longer you can continue Work with families and want to understand the hidden emotional pressures behind caregiving The episode offers an important reminder that good dementia care is not about sacrificing yourself completely. Sustainable care depends on recognising your own needs, limits and emotional wellbeing too. Timestamps / Chapters 00:00 - Why no two dementia journeys are the same Sameness in diagnosis does not mean sameness in experience. 00:18 - Boundaries in dementia caregiving Why saying “I can’t do this today” is not the same as abandoning someone. 01:53 - Giving yourself permission not to visit What good will actually come from the visit if you are already overwhelmed? 03:08 - Relief and guilt during COVID Lisa shares the difficult truth that part of her felt relieved not to have to visit. 04:14 - Sandwich carers and competing responsibilities Trying to be emotionally present for children while worrying about a parent. 05:25 - Making visits more intentional Why activity, mealtimes or practical tasks can make visits easier. 07:00 - Connection without conversation Touch, presence and recognising familiarity even when words have gone. 08:06 - Family conflict and sibling dynamics Why dementia can expose long-standing differences within families. 09:46 - The Drama Triangle Victim, persecutor and rescuer roles in caregiving relationships. 11:33 - Financial decisions and care-home disagreements How emotional pressure can turn practical decisions into conflict. 12:12 - How counselling can support family relationships Helping people understand each other rather than simply deciding who is right. 13:00 - What is Transactional Analysis? Analysing conversations and understanding communication patterns. 14:19 - Understanding Parent, Adult and Child ego states How our childhood experiences shape our adult communication. 17:21 - Why dementia conversations can break down The person may not be able to meet you in the communication state you expect. 18:54 - What professionals should understand after diagnosis Why families can feel emotionally abandoned even when practical support exists. 21:11 - Sameness does not mean identical experience Culture, gender, language, relationships and life history all matter. 22:08 - “I don’t know how much longer I can carry this” Lisa’s advice for anyone reaching their emotional limit. 23:42 - Counselling as a safe space Why talking can help people feel lighter and understand their own patterns. 25:06 - Finding the right counsellor Why one difficult experience of therapy does not mean counselling cannot help. 27:42 - How to contact Lisa Where to find The Dementia Counsellor and access support. Resources Mentioned The Dementia Counsellor Lisa offers counselling for: People living with an early dementia diagnosis Family members Partners Adult children Sandwich carers Families experiencing grief and conflict Website: https://www.thedementiacounsellor.co.uk Email: lisa@thedementiacounsellor.co.uk Lisa Daniels on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-daniels-32214623/ Instagram The Dementia Counsellor UK Facebook The Dementia Counsellor.co.uk Therapeutic Support Group Lisa has received local funding to deliver a six-session therapeutic support group for people affected by dementia in Coventry. Alzheimer’s Society Lisa contributes to the Alzheimer’s Society Research Network and supports research into improving the future of dementia care and support. The Shakespeare Hospice Lisa also volunteers with The Shakespeare Hospice in Stratford-upon-Avon. The Adaptive Caregiver Model The Adaptive Caregiver Model: Walking With, Not Ahead - A Practical Guide to Dementia Care That Adapts to the Person, Not the Diagnosis https://www.amazon.co.uk/Adaptive-Caregiver-Model-Practical-Diagnosis/dp/1918283060 About Lisa Daniels Lisa Daniels is a Level 7 Transactional Analysis Counsellor specialising in supporting people impacted by dementia. Her work combines professional counselling expertise with lived experience of dementia within her own family. Lisa supports people who have received an early diagnosis, family caregivers, spouses, adult children and sandwich carers. Her work explores grief, identity, difficult family histories, boundaries, relationship conflict and the emotional demands of caring. She works online and from private practice in Kenilworth and Coventry, as well as within hospice and community settings. Follow Able to Care Podcast website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/AbleTraining TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abletocarepodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast If this conversation resonates with you, consider sharing it with a family caregiver, professional carer or someone navigating a dementia diagnosis who may need to hear that struggling does not mean they are failing.

  3. Aug 31

    Dementia, Grief and Counselling with Lisa Daniels - Part 1

    What happens emotionally when dementia enters a family? In Part 1 of this conversation, Andy Baker speaks with Lisa Daniels, a Level 7 Transactional Analysis Counsellor and founder of The Dementia Counsellor, about why counselling can be so valuable for people affected by dementia. Lisa explains how dementia counselling is not about clinically explaining the diagnosis, but about helping people process what the diagnosis means for their identity, relationships, independence and future. The conversation explores ambiguous loss, anticipatory grief, shame, fear, changes in communication and the emotional impact on partners, children and other loved ones. This episode is particularly relevant for paid and unpaid caregivers, family carers, professionals and anyone supporting someone newly diagnosed with dementia. In This Episode Andy and Lisa explore: What dementia counselling actually is Why counselling is not routinely offered after a dementia diagnosis The emotional impact of diagnosis on the individual and the wider family Shame and confidence when communication begins to change Ambiguous loss and grieving someone who is still alive Young-onset dementia and the loss of anticipated futures Supporting both the person diagnosed and their loved ones Why confidential counselling can create space for difficult or unresolved conversations Lisa’s own lived experience of dementia in her family The loss of driving, work, independence and financial control How counselling can help someone reconnect with identity and meaningful memories Guilt, anger and resentment in family caregivers The emotional pressure experienced by sandwich carers Three Key Messages 1. Grief can begin long before someone dies. Dementia can change communication, relationships, roles and future plans, creating what is often called ambiguous loss. 2. The person diagnosed may be grieving themselves. Loss of driving, work, confidence, communication and independence can deeply affect identity and self-esteem. 3. Caregivers are allowed to struggle too. Feeling tired, angry, resentful or overwhelmed does not erase love. These emotions often need a safe, non-judgemental place to be explored. Why Listen to This Episode? Listen if you: Have recently received a dementia diagnosis Support a loved one who has dementia Feel guilty for grieving someone who is still alive Are struggling with changes in your relationship Feel pressure to stay strong for everyone else Are a sandwich carer supporting children and an older relative at the same time Want to understand what counselling can offer after diagnosis Work with families affected by dementia and want a deeper understanding of their emotional experience This episode may help listeners recognise that dementia affects far more than memory. It can affect identity, independence, relationships, confidence and the stories people hold about themselves. Timestamps / Chapters 00:00 - What is dementia counselling? Why counselling is different from clinical advice or dementia education. 01:35 - The ripple effect of a dementia diagnosis How a diagnosis affects families as well as the individual. 02:39 - Shame, communication and losing confidence Why changes in speech and processing can affect self-esteem. 04:42 - Is it normal to grieve someone who is still alive? Understanding ambiguous loss and unacknowledged grief. 06:58 - Grieving the future you expected Young-onset dementia, retirement and the loss of shared plans. 08:18 - Counselling for the person diagnosed Why confidential space matters. 10:52 - When caregivers feel they have to be strong Why loved ones can ignore their own emotional needs. 12:05 - Caring for a parent you had a difficult relationship with Guilt, duty and complicated family history. 13:04 - Lisa’s personal journey into dementia counselling Her mother’s diagnosis, her own counselling experience and becoming the support she once needed. 18:21 - What people with dementia may be grieving Driving, work, independence, financial control and identity. 22:16 - Helping a father write his daughter’s wedding speech How counselling helped evoke memories and create a meaningful moment. 25:45 - “I shouldn’t feel this way” Exploring caregiver guilt, resentment and inherited beliefs about duty. 28:47 - The emotional load of sandwich carers Children, work, ageing parents and constant responsibility. 31:56 - Why counselling should not only begin at crisis point Talking as prevention rather than waiting until everything becomes overwhelming. Resources Mentioned The Dementia Counsellor Lisa Daniels provides counselling for people affected by dementia, including: People with an early dementia diagnosis Partners and spouses Adult children Sandwich carers Families experiencing conflict, grief or difficult transitions Website: https://www.thedementiacounsellor.co.uk Email: lisa@thedementiacounsellor.co.uk Lisa Daniels on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-daniels-32214623/ Instagram The Dementia Counsellor UK Facebook The Dementia Counsellor.co.uk Alzheimer’s Society Lisa works with the Alzheimer’s Society Research Network and has also volunteered within dementia support. The Adaptive Caregiver Model The Adaptive Caregiver Model: Walking With, Not Ahead - A Practical Guide to Dementia Care That Adapts to the Person, Not the Diagnosis https://www.amazon.co.uk/Adaptive-Caregiver-Model-Practical-Diagnosis/dp/1918283060 About Lisa Daniels Lisa Daniels is a Level 7 Transactional Analysis Counsellor based in Warwickshire. She works online and in private practice in Kenilworth and Coventry, as well as within hospice and community settings. After more than 20 years in the pharmaceutical industry, Lisa retrained over four years before leaving her corporate role in December 2025 to build her counselling practice full-time. Her interest in dementia is both professional and deeply personal. Her grandfather lived with dementia, and her mother experienced young-onset dementia. Lisa supported her family through caregiving, grief and loss before specialising in counselling for people affected by dementia. She is particularly passionate about supporting people newly diagnosed with dementia, their loved ones and sandwich carers managing several caring roles at once. Follow Able to Care Podcast website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/AbleTraining TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abletocarepodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast Part 2 continues next Tuesday, exploring boundaries, caregiver guilt, family conflict, Transactional Analysis and why emotional support after a dementia diagnosis needs to be far more individualised.

  4. Aug 24

    Tackling Child Poverty with Dignity - Part 2

    In Part 2 of Andy Baker’s conversation with Baroness Ruth Lister, the discussion turns to the wider cost of allowing child poverty to continue and the practical role schools, services, communities and policymakers can play. Ruth explains why reducing child poverty should be viewed as preventative investment rather than simply an expense. Poverty can affect children’s health, educational opportunities and future employment, while also increasing pressure on schools, local authorities, social care and the NHS. The episode also explores how schools may unintentionally deepen shame, the importance of poverty-proofing the school day, and the experiences of migrant families who have no recourse to public funds. Ruth discusses why poverty is not only about money but also dignity, rights, relationships and the way people are treated. This conversation is especially valuable for teachers, carers, parents, social workers and professionals who want to provide support without increasing stigma or making families feel blamed for circumstances beyond their control. In This Episode Andy and Ruth explore: The financial and social cost of failing to reduce child poverty Why spending on children can be understood as preventative investment How poverty affects health, education and future opportunities Ways schools can avoid unintentionally shaming or excluding children The importance of poverty-aware uniform, trip and meal policies What “no recourse to public funds” means for migrant families Why dignity and human rights matter alongside household income How professionals can involve people with lived experience in training and service design Where struggling parents may be able to seek practical support What individuals can do to advocate for change Three Key Messages 1. Failing to tackle child poverty has a significant long-term cost. Poverty can contribute to poorer health, reduced educational achievement and greater pressure on public services. Early financial support can therefore be understood as prevention and investment. 2. Schools and services can either reduce or deepen shame. Uniform rules, school trips, free-meal systems and requests for materials should be designed so that children are not publicly identified, punished or excluded because of their family income. 3. People experiencing poverty deserve support without judgement. Poverty is not only a shortage of money. It is also experienced through stigma, disrespect, powerlessness and the feeling of being treated as less worthy than other people. Why Listen to This Episode? Listen if you: Work in a school and want to make policies more poverty-aware Support children who lack uniforms, food, equipment or access to activities Work with migrant or refugee families who cannot access mainstream benefits Want to understand the long-term social cost of child poverty Are helping families navigate Universal Credit, food banks or local support Want to challenge stigma without turning the discussion into party-political conflict Believe services should be shaped by dignity, rights and lived experience Feel powerless about child poverty and want practical actions to take The episode offers both a national policy perspective and practical ideas that can be applied in schools, services and everyday interactions. Timestamps / Chapters 00:00 - Universal Credit is not only for unemployed families Why working parents may still qualify for financial support. 00:21 - The real cost of failing to tackle child poverty The long-term effects on health, education, employment and public services. 03:22 - What schools can stop doing How uniform policies, trips and classroom requirements can unintentionally increase shame. 04:40 - Poverty-proofing the school day Creating inclusive approaches to free school meals, equipment and participation. 06:28 - Practical support through schools and community services Laundry facilities and other forms of help for families in temporary accommodation. 06:51 - What no recourse to public funds means Why some migrant families cannot access social security or social housing. 10:41 - Poverty, dignity and human rights Why the experience of being dehumanised can feel as damaging as the material hardship itself. 14:23 - Understanding stigma and discrimination How language and assumptions shape the way families are treated. 15:37 - Practical advice for parents who are struggling Benefits checks, Citizens Advice, food banks and asking for support without shame. 18:39 - Reasons for hope and action Contacting representatives, joining local organisations and challenging poverty-related prejudice. 20:53 - Closing reflections The importance of empathy and recognising that people experiencing poverty are not a separate group. Resources Mentioned Ruth Lister’s Report - The Good Society Starts Small https://www.compassonline.org.uk/publications/the-good-society-starts-small/ Ruth Lister’s Book - Poverty, Second Edition https://www.wiley.com/en-gb/Poverty%2C+2nd+Edition-p-9780745645971 Ruth Lister - Loughborough University https://www.lboro.ac.uk/subjects/social-policy-studies/staff/honorary/ruth-lister/ Contact Ruth Lister listerr@parliament.uk Citizens Advice Support with Universal Credit, benefits entitlement, housing, debt and other financial concerns. https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/ No Recourse to Public Funds Collective Partnership The guest information highlights partnership work involving organisations supporting migrants and migrant families affected by immigration-status and public-funds restrictions: Praxis Migration Exchange Citizens UK Praxis: https://www.praxis.org.uk/ Migration Exchange: https://migrationexchange.org.uk/ Citizens UK: https://www.citizensuk.org/ Child Poverty Action Group Information, research and campaigning relating to child poverty and family support. https://cpag.org.uk/ Local Support Families may also be able to seek help through: Local welfare-rights organisations Food banks and community pantries Schools and family-support teams Local councils Housing and migrant-support charities Community and faith organisations Practical Ideas for Schools and Services Avoid sending children home because their family cannot afford the correct uniform Review whether trips and activities create visible differences between children Make free-school-meal systems as discreet and universal as possible Provide ingredients, equipment and materials rather than assuming every family can supply them Ask what is preventing attendance before treating absence as a lack of commitment Include people with lived experience of poverty in staff training Use respectful, non-stigmatising language in policies and conversations Ensure families know where they can receive confidential advice About Ruth Lister Baroness Ruth Lister is Emeritus Professor of Social Policy at Loughborough University. Her work explores poverty, citizenship, gender, inequality and social justice. A central theme of her work is that poverty should not be understood through income alone. It must also be examined through dignity, participation, voice, rights and the social relationships that shape how people are treated. Follow Able to Care Podcast website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/AbleTraining TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abletocarepodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast If this episode helps you understand child poverty differently, please share it with a teacher, caregiver, parent, social worker or policymaker who may benefit from the conversation.

  5. Aug 17

    Understanding Child Poverty in the UK - Part 1

    Child poverty is not only about hunger or homelessness. It can mean a child missing school because they do not have the right uniform, being unable to join clubs or activities, feeling ashamed to invite friends home, or being excluded from the everyday experiences their classmates take for granted. In Part 1 of this conversation, Andy Baker speaks with Baroness Ruth Lister about the reality of child poverty in the UK and the impact it has on children’s education, identity, relationships and wellbeing. Ruth challenges common assumptions about poverty and explains why most children living in poverty have at least one parent in paid employment. This episode will be especially relevant to teachers, caregivers, parents, support workers and anyone working with children and families. It offers a clearer understanding of how financial hardship can sit underneath attendance difficulties, social withdrawal, unmet practical needs and behaviour that may otherwise be judged too quickly. In This Episode Andy and Ruth explore: What child poverty means beyond the official statistics How poverty affects children’s confidence, identity and ability to belong Why school attendance can be affected by uniform costs, caring responsibilities and family circumstances The scale and depth of child poverty in the UK Why paid employment is not a guaranteed route out of poverty The impact of housing costs and private rents The role of childcare, flexible work and social security The difference between the two-child limit and the benefit cap Why poverty should be understood through children’s rights and wellbeing Three Key Messages 1. Child poverty affects participation as well as basic needs. Children may have food and shelter but still be excluded from friendships, school activities, trips, clubs and the possessions that help them feel they belong. 2. Most children in poverty are not living in workless households. Low wages, high rents, childcare costs and insecure or inflexible employment mean that paid work does not always provide enough income for a family. 3. Policies aimed at parents are ultimately experienced by children. Whatever judgement people make about adult decisions, children have no control over their family’s circumstances and should not carry the consequences through hunger, exclusion or shame. Why Listen to This Episode? Listen if you: Work with children whose attendance or engagement is becoming a concern Support families struggling with food, clothing, housing or childcare costs Want to understand the difference between poverty and worklessness Have heard debates about the two-child limit or benefit cap but are unsure how they affect families Want to make your school, care service or community more poverty-aware Are a parent who is working but still struggling financially Want to respond to families with greater empathy and less judgement For educators and caregivers, the conversation offers an important reminder to ask what may be happening around a child before treating absence, unsuitable clothing, withdrawal or non-participation as a lack of effort. Timestamps / Chapters 00:00 - What child poverty really means Why poverty includes hunger, inadequate clothing, social exclusion and children being unable to enjoy their childhood. 01:59 - School attendance, uniforms and hidden hardship Why a child may be absent for reasons that are not immediately visible to the school. 03:22 - Poverty, belonging and the cost of joining in How electronics, activities, clothing and friendships affect children’s emerging identity. 04:57 - How many UK children are living in poverty? Understanding the scale of child poverty and the meaning of deep poverty. 06:18 - How poverty is officially measured Income, housing costs and why measuring poverty allows comparison over time. 07:54 - The reality of in-work poverty Why most children in poverty live in a household where at least one parent works. 10:23 - Why housing costs matter so much Private rents, housing support and families being pushed below the poverty line. 12:01 - The main drivers of child poverty Housing costs, social-security reductions and the challenge of combining work with childcare. 14:34 - The Good Society Starts Small Redistribution, rights, political resolve and policies that could reduce child poverty. 17:20 - The two-child limit and the benefit cap Why these are separate policies and how each affects family income. 23:32 - Children should not be punished for circumstances outside their control The effect of policy choices on every child in a household. 25:00 - Universal Credit and working families Why people in employment may still qualify for financial support. Resources Mentioned The Good Society Starts Small A report by Baroness Ruth Lister examining child poverty through redistribution, rights and political resolve. https://www.compassonline.org.uk/publications/the-good-society-starts-small/ Poverty, Second Edition Ruth Lister’s book explores poverty as both a material condition and a lived social experience involving dignity, voice, respect and citizenship. https://www.wiley.com/en-gb/Poverty%2C+2nd+Edition-p-9780745645971 Ruth Lister - Loughborough University https://www.lboro.ac.uk/subjects/social-policy-studies/staff/honorary/ruth-lister/ Contact Ruth Lister listerr@parliament.uk Support and Benefits Advice People who are working may still be eligible for Universal Credit or other support. Citizens Advice and local welfare-rights organisations may be able to help families check what they are entitled to receive. https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/ About Ruth Lister Baroness Ruth Lister is Emeritus Professor of Social Policy at Loughborough University and a leading writer and researcher on poverty, inequality, citizenship and social justice. She previously worked for the Child Poverty Action Group and has spent decades examining both the economic reality of poverty and the way people experiencing poverty are treated, represented and heard. Follow Able to Care Podcast website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/AbleTraining TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abletocarepodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast Part 2 continues next Tuesday, exploring the long-term cost of child poverty, poverty-aware schools, migrant families, dignity and practical ways to support parents experiencing hardship.

  6. Aug 10

    Adapting Activities for Dementia with Florence Tyloo - Part 2

    In Part 2 of this conversation, dementia engagement specialist Florence Tyloo explores how caregivers can adapt activities as a person’s abilities, visual processing and communication change. Florence challenges the assumption that someone has lost interest simply because they do not immediately participate. The problem may be that they cannot see the equipment, understand the instructions or complete the activity in the way it has been presented. Andy and Florence discuss how to create achievable challenges, protect a person’s self-esteem and use family knowledge to uncover meaningful roles and interests. They also examine visual-field changes in dementia, the N.U.T.S. framework for reducing stress and why presence matters more than completing an activity correctly. This episode offers practical ideas for professional carers, activity coordinators, family caregivers and anyone who wants to create more person-centred dementia activities. In This Episode Florence explains how she begins with an achievable version of an activity and then gradually increases the challenge. This allows the person to experience early success without removing every opportunity for growth or mastery. She explores why asking, “What activities are good for dementia?” can lead caregivers in the wrong direction. A better question is: “What activity is meaningful, achievable and enjoyable for this particular person today?” Florence also describes how families can help carers understand a person’s history, identity and former roles. Examples include asking a former teacher to help with a dictation exercise or inviting a person who enjoyed reading to read aloud for others. The episode also examines visual-field changes, contrast and the importance of placing objects where the person can actually see them. Three Key Messages 1. Adapt the activity before assuming the person cannot participate. Changes in vision, processing, movement or communication may require a different presentation, position or level of challenge. 2. A person’s history provides clues, not restrictions. Past interests can inspire meaningful engagement, but people living with dementia should still be offered new experiences and opportunities. 3. The quality of the moment matters more than completing the task. An activity does not need to be done perfectly to create joy, confidence, connection or a sense of achievement. Chapters 00:00 - Adapting activities as abilities change Beginning with success and gradually increasing the challenge. 03:59 - What activities are good for dementia? Why the activity must be matched to the individual rather than the diagnosis. 06:42 - When familiar activities become emotionally difficult How a former talent can sometimes highlight loss instead of creating enjoyment. 09:08 - How families can help identify meaningful activities Using personal history, interests, routines and former roles. 10:58 - A former parent helping with schoolwork again How a dictation activity created purpose, presence and connection. 13:13 - Using meaningful roles to reduce repeated questions Moving from “What do I do?” towards an activity that feels familiar and useful. 16:23 - Understanding visual changes in dementia Why a person may not see a chair, drink, basketball hoop or object placed beside them. 19:31 - Adapting the environment rather than blaming the person Making engagement possible by changing positioning, contrast and presentation. 21:42 - Revisiting the N.U.T.S. framework How caregivers can reduce novelty, unpredictability, threats to the ego and loss of control. 23:37 - Stress is based on perception, not objective reality Why a familiar situation may still feel new or unpredictable to the person. 27:50 - Offering greater choice and control Using small decisions to reduce resistance and protect autonomy. 29:51 - Letting go of getting the activity right Why caregivers need to acknowledge challenge without treating it as personal failure. 31:54 - Presence, play and imperfect activities Finding enjoyment without requiring the person to follow every rule. 34:05 - One simple activity to try this week Using familiar music, balloons or an aiming game to invite connection. 36:02 - Florence’s workshops and dementia resources Where to find visual-change training, N.U.T.S. workshops and free dementia talks. Why Listen to This Episode? Listen if you: Need practical ideas for adapting dementia activities Want to understand visual-processing and visual-field changes Support someone who frequently refuses or disengages from activities Are worried about making an activity too difficult or too childish Want to use family knowledge more effectively in care planning Need strategies for giving someone greater autonomy and control Work with people experiencing distressed behaviour Want engagement to become part of everyday dementia care The conversation will help you replace “They cannot do it” or “They are not interested” with more useful questions: Can the person see it? Does the instruction make sense? Is the activity threatening their confidence? Have they been given genuine control? Could the activity be presented differently? Is this the right activity for this person today? Resources Mentioned Dementia Partnered Care Florence Tyloo offers dementia-engagement support, training and consultancy for caregivers, families and organisations. Website: https://www.dementia-partnered-care.co.uk Email: info@dementia-partnered-care.co.uk Available support includes: Visual Changes in Dementia workshop Understanding Stress using the N.U.T.S. framework Free 30-minute dementia talks Practical dementia-engagement guidance Videos demonstrating how activities can be adapted across different stages of dementia Florence Tyloo on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/florence-tyloo-msc-a20519138 Dementia Partnered Care on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61573984471347 N.U.T.S. Stress Framework Florence’s training explores four common ingredients of psychological stress: Novelty Unpredictability Threat to the ego Low sense of control This framework can help caregivers understand both their own stress and the distress experienced by someone living with dementia. Visual Changes in Dementia Florence discusses how changes to visual fields, contrast sensitivity and visual processing may affect: Sitting safely in a chair Finding food and drink Seeing objects placed to the side Participating in games Navigating the environment Understanding what a caregiver is asking The Adaptive Caregiver Model The Adaptive Caregiver Model: Walking With, Not Ahead - A Practical Guide to Dementia Care That Adapts to the Person, Not the Diagnosis https://www.amazon.co.uk/Adaptive-Caregiver-Model-Practical-Diagnosis/dp/1918283060 The model explores how caregivers can adapt their role and approach around the needs, abilities and lived reality of the individual. About the Guest Florence Tyloo is a dementia engagement specialist based in Exeter. She studied psychology in Switzerland and has worked with people living with dementia across Switzerland, the United States and the United Kingdom. Her professional practice is also shaped by family experience. Florence grew up close to her great-grandmother, who lived with Alzheimer’s disease, and her grandmother now lives with frontotemporal dementia. Florence works closely with families to create meaningful engagement that maintains connection, reduces stress and helps people living with dementia retain purpose, choice and dignity. About the Able to Care Podcast The Able to Care Podcast supports paid and unpaid caregivers, teachers and parents to better understand themselves, understand those they support and navigate the care and education systems. Podcast website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast Follow Able LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abletocarepodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/AbleTraining If this episode gives you a useful dementia-care idea, please follow the podcast and share it with a caregiver, activity coordinator, family member or colleague who may benefit.

  7. Aug 3

    Meaningful Activities in Dementia Care with Florence Tyloo - Part 1

    Activities in dementia care should be about far more than filling time. In the first part of this conversation, Andy Baker speaks with dementia engagement specialist Florence Tyloo about how meaningful activities can preserve abilities, reduce psychological stress and help people living with dementia continue to feel capable, valued and connected. Florence draws on her professional experience in Switzerland, the United States and the United Kingdom, alongside her family experience of dementia. She explains how familiar music, movement, conversation, games and everyday care tasks can become opportunities for connection. This episode will be particularly valuable for professional carers, unpaid family caregivers, activity coordinators and anyone trying to maintain a relationship with someone whose communication or cognitive abilities are changing. In This Episode Florence explains why activities such as bingo can provide cognitive stimulation when they are adapted around the person’s abilities, rather than simply being used to keep people occupied. She introduces the N.U.T.S. framework for understanding psychological stress: N - Novelty U - Unpredictability T - Threat to the ego S - Low sense of control Florence and Andy also explore how music, singing, movement and familiar helping roles can reduce stress without telling someone simply to “calm down”. The conversation considers the different dementia-care lessons Florence has taken from working in Switzerland, the United States and the United Kingdom, including relationship-led personal care, individualised activities and protecting a person’s right to make decisions involving risk. Three Key Messages 1. Meaningful activity is not simply entertainment. A carefully adapted activity can stimulate memory, attention, movement, communication and decision-making while helping the person feel useful and capable. 2. Stress affects everyone involved in dementia care. Novelty, unpredictability, threats to self-esteem and a loss of control can increase distress for both the person living with dementia and their caregiver. 3. Connection does not depend upon conversation. Music, movement, balloons, touch, shared laughter and simply spending time together can create valuable moments even when verbal communication becomes difficult. Chapters 00:00 - What meaningful dementia activities really are Why engagement should go beyond bingo, colouring and keeping someone busy. 02:14 - Using existing abilities instead of focusing on losses How activities can involve reading, attention, coordination and helping others. 03:35 - Understanding stress through the N.U.T.S. framework Novelty, unpredictability, threat to the ego and a low sense of control. 05:53 - How movement and singing can lower stress Using physical activity, breathing and familiar music to support regulation. 11:14 - What different countries taught Florence about dementia care Lessons from Switzerland, the United States and the United Kingdom. 13:49 - Making engagement part of everyday care Why getting dressed, washing and moving between rooms can all become opportunities for connection. 18:21 - Protecting choice, autonomy and positive risk-taking Supporting people living with dementia to continue making decisions. 20:10 - Rebuilding connection when dementia changes communication Why caregivers must also acknowledge their own emotions and limitations. 22:54 - Activities as a bridge to the person Using balloons, basketball, touch and shared experiences when conversation becomes difficult. 26:03 - Creating moments rather than expecting memories Why positive emotional and physical effects can remain even when an event is forgotten. 28:56 - Recognising when an activity is increasing stress Reading body language, frustration, withdrawal and changes in engagement. Why Listen to This Episode? Listen if you: Struggle to know how to connect with someone living with dementia Want practical dementia activity ideas that are genuinely person-centred Support someone who no longer communicates in the way they once did Need help recognising when an activity is supportive or overwhelming Want to understand how stress influences dementia-related distress Work in a care home, day service, hospital or community-care setting Are an unpaid caregiver trying to create more positive moments at home This episode offers a compassionate reminder that successful engagement is not measured by completing an activity perfectly. What matters is whether the person experiences safety, dignity, purpose and connection. Resources Mentioned Dementia Partnered Care Florence Tyloo provides dementia engagement support, consultancy and practical workshops for professional and family caregivers. Website: https://www.dementia-partnered-care.co.uk Email: info@dementia-partnered-care.co.uk Florence offers: Workshops on visual changes associated with dementia Training using the N.U.T.S. stress framework Free 30-minute dementia talks Practical dementia-engagement guidance Videos demonstrating adapted activities, including basketball across different stages of dementia Florence Tyloo on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/florence-tyloo-msc-a20519138 Dementia Partnered Care on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61573984471347 Positive Approach to Care Florence refers to the work of Teepa Snow and the Positive Approach to Care, which supports practical, compassionate and ability-focused dementia care. N.U.T.S. Stress Framework The framework discussed by Florence is based on the work of neuroscientist Sonia Lupien and the Centre for Studies on Human Stress: Novelty Unpredictability Threat to the ego Low sense of control The Adaptive Caregiver Model The Adaptive Caregiver Model: Walking With, Not Ahead - A Practical Guide to Dementia Care That Adapts to the Person, Not the Diagnosis https://www.amazon.co.uk/Adaptive-Caregiver-Model-Practical-Diagnosis/dp/1918283060 About the Guest Florence Tyloo is a dementia engagement specialist based in Exeter. She studied psychology in Switzerland and has supported people living with dementia in Switzerland, the United States and the United Kingdom. Alongside her professional experience, Florence grew up close to her great-grandmother, who lived with Alzheimer’s disease. Her grandmother now lives with frontotemporal dementia in the same care home. Florence’s work focuses on helping caregivers use meaningful activities to maintain connection, reduce stress, empower the person and create positive moments throughout the dementia journey. About the Able to Care Podcast The Able to Care Podcast supports paid and unpaid caregivers, teachers and parents to understand themselves, better understand those they support and navigate the care and education systems. Podcast website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast Follow Able LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abletocarepodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/AbleTraining If this conversation helps you think differently about dementia activities and meaningful engagement, please follow the podcast and share the episode with a caregiver, family member or colleague who may benefit.

  8. Jul 27

    Breaking Cycles of Trauma: Parenting, Social Work and the Power of Honest Support

    In Part 2 of this conversation, Andy Baker continues with Ethan St Pierre, Dr Alice Loving and Azariah Hope to explore what happens when parents and families are watched, assessed and misunderstood by the very systems meant to help them. This episode looks at the impact of labels such as addict, personality disorder or non-compliant, and asks what parents really need in order to feel safe enough to engage. It also digs into parenting after trauma, what support actually helps, why honesty and consistency matter, and how connection before correction should apply not only to children, but to the adults caring for them too. For teachers, caregivers, social workers and parents, this is a powerful discussion about accountability, compassion, system change and the possibility of breaking intergenerational cycles. Why listen to this episode? This episode is essential listening for anyone working in or around children’s social care, trauma-informed parenting, foster care or family support. It highlights what shuts parents down, what helps them stay engaged, and why the quality of the relationship with professionals can change everything. It is also a moving reminder that healing is possible, but only when support is honest, human and strong enough to hold complexity over time. Three key messages: Labels can sometimes offer context, but they can also leave people feeling defeated, misunderstood and written off before real support has even begun. Parents are far more likely to engage when professionals lead with honesty, compassion, consistency and a genuine wish to understand, not simply assess. Breaking cycles of trauma and harm takes time, safe relationships, accountability and practical support - not just surveillance, plans and pressure. Timestamps / chapters: 00:00 - Ethan on labels, addiction, ADHD and how language shapes recovery 04:49 - Azariah on diagnosis, identity and why labels can become a prison 11:28 - Parenting while being watched, assessed and misunderstood 24:55 - What helps parents feel safe enough to engage with services 38:23 - Connection before correction for parents as well as children 45:18 - Love, trust, honesty and why systems need to change 48:06 - Hopeful Disrupter event and closing reflections Resources mentioned / relevant links: Hopeful Disrupter event, London, 5 June - details shared during the episode. Ethan St Pierre Email: https://nurturingnaturecic.org/ Event: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/a-voice-at-the-table-learning-from-lived-experience-tickets-1985054684999 Email: https://www.linkedin.com/in/azariah-hope-6b90551b0/ Website: https://www.futuresrerooted.co.uk/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_azariahhope_/ Email: azariahhope@futuresrerooted.co.uk Able to Care / Able Training Podcast: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/AbleTraining TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abletocarepodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast Guest background: Ethan St Pierre brings direct lived experience, alongside his work as a trainer and public speaker. Dr Alice Loving is a Family Intervention Specialist with expertise in attachment, trauma, parenting and child protection. Azariah Hope is Director of Futures Rerooted and brings direct lived experience of care, trauma, motherhood and long-term social work involvement, alongside consultancy and training work.

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About

Able to Care with Andy Baker helps caregivers, teachers, parents and people who care, better understand behaviour, care and connection. Hosted by Behaviour Specialist, author and trainer Andy Baker, the podcast explores dementia, neurodiversity, mental health, education, parenting, safeguarding, communication and the human stories behind support.

Information

  • Creator
    Andy Baker (Able Training)
  • Years Active
    2022 - 2026
  • Episodes
    100
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2022 Able Training Support Limited.
  • Show Website
    Able to Care

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