If your goal is to "recover from your eating disorder," what happens when you get there? Then what? Here's the problem: When you set the goal to recover, you're setting a goal with a finish line. But recovery isn't a destination. It's a journey of BECOMING. In this episode, I'm challenging you to shift your focus from what you want to change to who you need to become to achieve freedom. And it starts with understanding your NOW needs. Using Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, I break down why you can't move forward in recovery if your basic needs aren't even being met—and what to do about it RIGHT NOW. In this episode, you'll discover: Why setting a goal to "recover" sabotages your success What recovery will make OF you (not just what it will give you) The problem: You're reinforcing a belief that you can't find freedom Maslow's Hierarchy explained: Basic needs → Psychological needs → Self-fulfillment Why you can't function without basic needs met (food, water, sleep, safety, stability) How the eating disorder hijacks your brain and keeps you from meeting essential needs Why low self-esteem and broken relationships stem from unmet BASIC needs The shift: Stop focusing on what you want to change, start focusing on who you want to BECOME One challenge: Do one thing every day you don't want to do How to validate your feelings, own your needs, and grant yourself permission The truth: No one is going to recover FOR you—you have to do something about it The wake-up call: You decide where your time goes. And if you don't decide, the world will decide for you. MASLOW'S HIERARCHY OF NEEDS & ED RECOVERY The 5-Tier Model: 1. BASIC/SURVIVAL NEEDS (Foundation) Food, water, air, sleep, shelter, clothing, safety, stability, predictability The problem: When your brain has been hijacked by an eating disorder, you're not even getting these basic needs met. Without nourishment, you literally can't function. 2. PSYCHOLOGICAL NEEDS (Built on Basic Needs) Social connections, relationships, self-esteem, confidence, intimate connection, friendships, accomplishments, independence, self-respect The truth: If your basic needs aren't met, your psychological needs WON'T be met. This is why you have low self-esteem. This is why relationships feel broken. 3. SELF-FULFILLMENT NEEDS (Top of Pyramid) Problem-solving, growth, exploration, creativity, purpose, meaning The reality: You can't get here if you're not nourishing your body. Without basic needs met, self-fulfillment is impossible. THE SHIFT: FROM RECOVERING TO BECOMING Stop asking: "How do I recover from this eating disorder?" Start asking: Who do I need to BECOME to gain freedom? What does freedom look like to me? What are my NOW needs? What can I do TODAY to honor where I want to go TOMORROW? The truth: Your past and current distorted identity has created your current reality. It sabotages your success. This false identity creates negative habits that lead to negative outcomes—and reinforces the cycle. The problem isn't that you can't do it. The problem is you're consistently staying in the cycle that reinforces the belief that you CAN'T. YOUR NOW NEEDS: THE CHALLENGE This week, do ONE thing every day that you don't want to do. Then ask yourself: How am I currently meeting my needs today? What needs do I need met RIGHT NOW? Are my BASIC needs even being met? Remember: Without nourishment, you can't even begin to move into love, belonging, self-esteem, or purpose. THE 4 STEPS TO HONOR YOUR NOW NEEDS STEP 1: VALIDATE YOUR FEELINGS & OWN YOUR NEEDS Admit and identify a NOW need: Do I need to eat breakfast earlier? Do I need two more hours of sleep? Do I need to feel safe and protected? How will I create that? Set the goal of WHO you're becoming in the process. STEP 2: GRANT YOURSELF PERMISSION & SET PRIORITIES Give yourself permission to put yourself FIRST. Permission + Priorities = Power We give grace and compassion to everyone else, but struggle to do the same for ourselves. Today, WEAR permission. Rock it out. STEP 3: REFLECT, PRAY, JOURNAL, THINK Don't overthink. Just think. Ask yourself: What are my NOW needs? What do I need to feel satisfied, purposeful, joyful, happy? What do I have to do RIGHT NOW from a basic need standpoint to step into what I ultimately want for my life? STEP 4: DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT No one is going to recover FOR you. No one is going to: Gain the weight for you Sit in your head for you Be at the finish line for you You have to do something different. Because the truth is: You can listen to this show on repeat, but if you don't DO something about it, you're going to sit here stuck. THE TRUTH ABOUT RECOVERY When I actually recovered from my eating disorder, I didn't recognize my old self. I didn't even know who she was. I was fully transformed. Recovery isn't about checking a box. You still wake up. You still look at yourself in the mirror. You're still learning, growing, doing, BECOMING. Change your focus: From what you're trying to achieve → To WHO you need to be to achieve it. KEY QUOTES 💛 "If you set the goal to recover, you're setting a goal with a finish line. I want you to set the goal of what recovery will make OF you." 💛 "This journey is about BECOMING. And becoming requires DOING." 💛 "The problem isn't that you can't do it. The problem is you're consistently staying in the cycle that reinforces the belief that you can't." 💛 "Without nourishment, you can't even begin to move into the next level of needs like love and belonging." 💛 "You decide where your time goes. And if you don't decide, the world will decide for you." 💛 "No one was going to recover for me. No one was going to be at the finish line. No one was going to gain the weight for me. No one was going to sit in my own head but me." 💛 "If you really want to do something, you'll find a way. If not, you'll just find another excuse." - Jim Rohn 💛 "Stop focusing on what you want to change. Start focusing on who you want to BECOME." 💛 "Your purpose on this planet is not to be worried about your body. Your purpose is to show up authentically YOU. But in order to become her, you must start doing something differently." THE ONE QUESTION TO ASK YOURSELF "What am I doing right now TODAY that my future self is going to love me for?" If you want to be recovered, you have to DO something to get there. WHAT ARE YOUR NOW NEEDS? Identify ONE need right now: Accountability? Community? A really good meal? Permission to rest? Setting boundaries? Surrendering? What is the ONE thing you need right now in your heart, in your life? Then DO something about it. READY TO MEET YOUR NOW NEEDS WITH SUPPORT? 💛 HER BEST SELF SOCIETY Join our private Facebook community for support, accountability, and connection. 👉 www.herbestselfsociety.com 💛 1:1 RECOVERY COACHING If your NOW need is support and accountability to finally move forward—let's partner together. 👉 www.herbestself.co - Fill out a client application Your purpose on this planet is NOT to be worried about your body, the scale, or the label. Your purpose is to show up authentically YOU. But in order to become her, you must start doing something differently. Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now. Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.
