Her Best Self: Freedom from Disordered Eating, Body Obsession & Perfectionism

Lindsey Nichol - Certified Health Coach, Eating Disorder Recovery Coach, Food Freedom Coach, Eating Disorder Intuitive Therapy Certified
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Her Best Self is THE eating disorder recovery podcast for women ready to find freedom from disordered eating, body obsession, perfectionism and food anxiety.  Hosted by Lindsey Nichol, former figure skater and perfectionist turned eating disorder recovery coach, this show gives you practical tools for healing your relationship with food and body, overcoming perfectionism, and breaking free from diet culture. Twice per week, you'll get real talk about ED recovery, intuitive eating, body neutrality, perfectionism, people-pleasing, and the faith-based journey to becoming your best self—imperfectly. If you're struggling with anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, orthorexia, or disordered eating patterns, this podcast will help you: - Stop obsessing over food and your body - Break free from restriction and binge cycles - Overcome perfectionism and people-pleasing - Build body trust and food freedom - Find community and support in recovery New episodes every Tuesday and Friday. Apply to work with Lindsey 1:1 or learn more about her services and free resources at www.herbestself.co. Join The Recovery Collective ~ the recovery support group that gets the struggle and wants to see you win at recovery at www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective. ``` *Tune in for all things eating disorder recovery, disordered eating, food freedom, body image, intuitive eating, ED recovery, anorexia recovery, bulimia recovery, binge eating recovery, orthorexia, body neutrality, diet culture, perfectionism, food anxiety, body obsession, food restriction. _____________________________________________________________________ **DISCLAIMER** Trigger warning: The episodes on Her Best Self podcast may, at times, cover sensitive topics including but not limited to eating disorders & mental health. You are advised to refrain from listening if you are likely to be triggered or adversely impacted by any of these topics. Neither Lindsey Nichol LLC, associates nor guests, shall at any time be liable for the content covered causing offense, distress or any other reaction. The information contained comes from personal insight & education but should not be viewed as clinical support or professional diagnosis. Anything said should NOT be taken as a replacement for medical intervention & is nothing is intended to establish a therapist-patient relationship, to replace the services of a trained therapist, doctor or other health professional, nor treatment. @ Copyright 2025 Lindsey Nichol LLC

  1. 15H AGO

    EP 269.5: What Are Your NOW Needs? Maslow's Hierarchy & How to Honor Yourself in ED Recovery **Must Listen Fav!**

    If your goal is to "recover from your eating disorder," what happens when you get there? Then what? Here's the problem: When you set the goal to recover, you're setting a goal with a finish line. But recovery isn't a destination. It's a journey of BECOMING. In this episode, I'm challenging you to shift your focus from what you want to change to who you need to become to achieve freedom. And it starts with understanding your NOW needs. Using Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, I break down why you can't move forward in recovery if your basic needs aren't even being met—and what to do about it RIGHT NOW. In this episode, you'll discover: Why setting a goal to "recover" sabotages your success What recovery will make OF you (not just what it will give you) The problem: You're reinforcing a belief that you can't find freedom Maslow's Hierarchy explained: Basic needs → Psychological needs → Self-fulfillment Why you can't function without basic needs met (food, water, sleep, safety, stability) How the eating disorder hijacks your brain and keeps you from meeting essential needs Why low self-esteem and broken relationships stem from unmet BASIC needs The shift: Stop focusing on what you want to change, start focusing on who you want to BECOME One challenge: Do one thing every day you don't want to do How to validate your feelings, own your needs, and grant yourself permission The truth: No one is going to recover FOR you—you have to do something about it The wake-up call: You decide where your time goes. And if you don't decide, the world will decide for you. MASLOW'S HIERARCHY OF NEEDS & ED RECOVERY The 5-Tier Model: 1. BASIC/SURVIVAL NEEDS (Foundation) Food, water, air, sleep, shelter, clothing, safety, stability, predictability The problem: When your brain has been hijacked by an eating disorder, you're not even getting these basic needs met. Without nourishment, you literally can't function. 2. PSYCHOLOGICAL NEEDS (Built on Basic Needs) Social connections, relationships, self-esteem, confidence, intimate connection, friendships, accomplishments, independence, self-respect The truth: If your basic needs aren't met, your psychological needs WON'T be met. This is why you have low self-esteem. This is why relationships feel broken. 3. SELF-FULFILLMENT NEEDS (Top of Pyramid) Problem-solving, growth, exploration, creativity, purpose, meaning The reality: You can't get here if you're not nourishing your body. Without basic needs met, self-fulfillment is impossible. THE SHIFT: FROM RECOVERING TO BECOMING Stop asking: "How do I recover from this eating disorder?" Start asking: Who do I need to BECOME to gain freedom? What does freedom look like to me? What are my NOW needs? What can I do TODAY to honor where I want to go TOMORROW? The truth: Your past and current distorted identity has created your current reality. It sabotages your success. This false identity creates negative habits that lead to negative outcomes—and reinforces the cycle. The problem isn't that you can't do it. The problem is you're consistently staying in the cycle that reinforces the belief that you CAN'T. YOUR NOW NEEDS: THE CHALLENGE This week, do ONE thing every day that you don't want to do. Then ask yourself: How am I currently meeting my needs today? What needs do I need met RIGHT NOW? Are my BASIC needs even being met? Remember: Without nourishment, you can't even begin to move into love, belonging, self-esteem, or purpose. THE 4 STEPS TO HONOR YOUR NOW NEEDS STEP 1: VALIDATE YOUR FEELINGS & OWN YOUR NEEDS Admit and identify a NOW need: Do I need to eat breakfast earlier? Do I need two more hours of sleep? Do I need to feel safe and protected? How will I create that? Set the goal of WHO you're becoming in the process. STEP 2: GRANT YOURSELF PERMISSION & SET PRIORITIES Give yourself permission to put yourself FIRST. Permission + Priorities = Power We give grace and compassion to everyone else, but struggle to do the same for ourselves. Today, WEAR permission. Rock it out. STEP 3: REFLECT, PRAY, JOURNAL, THINK Don't overthink. Just think. Ask yourself: What are my NOW needs? What do I need to feel satisfied, purposeful, joyful, happy? What do I have to do RIGHT NOW from a basic need standpoint to step into what I ultimately want for my life? STEP 4: DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT No one is going to recover FOR you. No one is going to: Gain the weight for you Sit in your head for you Be at the finish line for you You have to do something different. Because the truth is: You can listen to this show on repeat, but if you don't DO something about it, you're going to sit here stuck. THE TRUTH ABOUT RECOVERY When I actually recovered from my eating disorder, I didn't recognize my old self. I didn't even know who she was. I was fully transformed. Recovery isn't about checking a box. You still wake up. You still look at yourself in the mirror. You're still learning, growing, doing, BECOMING. Change your focus: From what you're trying to achieve → To WHO you need to be to achieve it. KEY QUOTES 💛 "If you set the goal to recover, you're setting a goal with a finish line. I want you to set the goal of what recovery will make OF you." 💛 "This journey is about BECOMING. And becoming requires DOING." 💛 "The problem isn't that you can't do it. The problem is you're consistently staying in the cycle that reinforces the belief that you can't." 💛 "Without nourishment, you can't even begin to move into the next level of needs like love and belonging." 💛 "You decide where your time goes. And if you don't decide, the world will decide for you." 💛 "No one was going to recover for me. No one was going to be at the finish line. No one was going to gain the weight for me. No one was going to sit in my own head but me." 💛 "If you really want to do something, you'll find a way. If not, you'll just find another excuse." - Jim Rohn 💛 "Stop focusing on what you want to change. Start focusing on who you want to BECOME." 💛 "Your purpose on this planet is not to be worried about your body. Your purpose is to show up authentically YOU. But in order to become her, you must start doing something differently." THE ONE QUESTION TO ASK YOURSELF "What am I doing right now TODAY that my future self is going to love me for?" If you want to be recovered, you have to DO something to get there. WHAT ARE YOUR NOW NEEDS? Identify ONE need right now: Accountability? Community? A really good meal? Permission to rest? Setting boundaries? Surrendering? What is the ONE thing you need right now in your heart, in your life? Then DO something about it. READY TO MEET YOUR NOW NEEDS WITH SUPPORT? 💛 HER BEST SELF SOCIETY Join our private Facebook community for support, accountability, and connection. 👉 www.herbestselfsociety.com  💛 1:1 RECOVERY COACHING If your NOW need is support and accountability to finally move forward—let's partner together. 👉 www.herbestself.co  - Fill out a client application Your purpose on this planet is NOT to be worried about your body, the scale, or the label. Your purpose is to show up authentically YOU. But in order to become her, you must start doing something differently. Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now. Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

    17 min

  2. 4D AGO

    EP 269: 💜Eating Disorder Awareness 2026💜 ~ Ozempic, Social Media & Rising Trends Every Woman Should Know

    February is Eating Disorder Awareness Month. And if you're stuck in quasi-recovery, telling yourself "I'm fine," avoiding help because you're ashamed—this is your wake-up call. I'm sharing 2026 statistics you haven't heard, alarming trends getting WORSE, and the truth about Ozempic, social media, and eating disorders. Because sis, you are not a statistic. At least not a negative one. But you need to hear this. What you'll learn: Why eating disorders increased 15% since 2020 (28.8 million Americans affected) The shocking truth: Every 52 minutes someone dies, only 10% get treatment Midlife crisis: 42% increase in hospitalizations for women 45-65 Ozempic danger: 300% prescription increase, 40% of users have ED histories, 45% relapse when stopping Social media impact: 3+ hours/day = 60% higher ED risk Post-pandemic fallout: 25-30% global increase still climbing My story: When I refused to be a negative statistic 3-question self-assessment to know if you need help NOW The wake-up call: Every day you wait, you're missing out on life. KEY STATISTICS 📊 28.8 million Americans will have an ED in their lifetime (15% increase since 2020) 📊 Every 52 minutes someone dies from an eating disorder 📊 Only 10% receive treatment (women 40+ wait 6-8 years longer) 📊 42% increase in midlife ED hospitalizations (women 45-65) 📊 60% higher ED risk with 3+ hours daily social media use 📊 300% increase in Ozempic/GLP-1 prescriptions (60-70% for weight loss, not diabetes) 📊 40% increase in ED patients requesting weight loss drugs 📊 45% relapse rate when stopping GLP-1s (rapid weight regain triggers ED) 📊 25-30% global increase in EDs since 2020 (still climbing) THE 5 ALARMING TRENDS 1. MIDLIFE EATING DISORDERS EXPLODING 42% increase in hospitalizations for women 45-65. If you're over 40 thinking "I'm too old for this"—you're wrong. 2. SOCIAL MEDIA FEEDING THE CRISIS 3+ hours/day = 60% higher risk. #Ozempic has 1.3 billion views. You're being fed anti-aging, menopause weight loss, restriction disguised as wellness. 3. OZEMPIC NORMALIZING DISORDERED EATING 12 million Americans using GLP-1s. 30% of ED treatment centers treating patients whose ED was triggered by these drugs. These suppress appetite, reinforce that hunger is the enemy, bypass actual healing. Ask yourself: Am I healing my relationship with my body? Or medicalizing my eating disorder? 4. DIET CULTURE AS "WELLNESS" Orthorexia rising. Gluten-free, intermittent fasting, cleanses—these are eating disorders in disguise. If you have rigid food rules and anxiety around "unclean" foods, that's disordered eating. 5. POST-PANDEMIC CRISIS CONTINUES Six years later, anxiety up, depression up, eating disorders up. If your ED got worse during the pandemic and you've been saying "later"—later is NOW. LINDSEY'S STORY Years ago, someone told me most people with eating disorders don't fully recover. That I'd probably struggle forever. That the odds were against me. Something inside me snapped. I got angry—not at them, but at the eating disorder. So I decided: I'm not going to be that statistic. I refuse. I stopped avoiding, denying, pretending. I got help. I did the work. I recovered. I'm NOT a negative statistic. I'm a RECOVERY statistic. And you can be too. 3-QUESTION SELF-ASSESSMENT Answer honestly: Am I engaging in unhealthy behaviors but telling myself they're "not that bad"? (Skipping meals, restricting, overexercising, weighing obsessively, purging, binging, using appetite suppressants) Am I avoiding help because I'm ashamed, scared, or in denial? ("I'll deal with it later," "I can handle it alone," "It's not serious enough") Is my relationship with food/body stealing my joy, energy, presence, LIFE? (Missing moments, obsessing, sacrificing relationships, constant anxiety) If you said YES to even ONE: You need support! THE ONE THING YOU CAN DO TODAY Share this episode with someone who needs it Do the self-assessment - be honest If you need help—REACH OUT Don't wait 6-8 more years. Don't become another statistic. Don't waste the second half of your life. You deserve recovery. You deserve freedom. You deserve to LIVE. WORK WITH LINDSEY 💛 THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE Group coaching for women in midlife ready to break free. Monthly calls, sisterhood, access to me. www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective  💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING Deep work to reclaim your life. Limited spots available. www.herbestself.co    KEY QUOTES 💛 "You are not a statistic. At least not a negative one." 💛 "Every 52 minutes, someone loses their life to this illness." 💛 "If you're waiting for it to get bad enough, you're already in danger." 💛 "Ask yourself: Am I healing my relationship with my body? Or am I just medicalizing my eating disorder?" 💛 "I'm NOT a negative statistic. I'm a RECOVERY statistic. And you can be too." 💛 "Every day you wait, you're missing the second half of your life." Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worthy of support and love.  Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

    19 min

  3. FEB 10

    EP 268.5: If I Was Trapped in My Eating Disorder Right Now, Here's Exactly What I'd Do ~ The No BS Relapse Recovery Roadmap

    The opposite of quitting is recommitting. And sometimes that means you need a spelled-out roadmap to help you define what steps you can take to recommit to recovery. Today's episode is different. I'm not speaking in theoretical terms or giving advice I wouldn't follow myself. I'm sharing exactly what I would do if I was trapped in an eating disorder right now. The actual steps. The concrete path forward. The golden nugget roadmap I would follow myself. Whether you're experiencing a relapse, stuck in your recovery, or wish you could go back and tell your younger self what to do—this episode is your clear, actionable guide. In this episode, you'll discover: The 6-step roadmap I'd follow if I was trapped in an eating disorder today Why relapse is normal and doesn't mean you've failed Step 1: Recognition and acceptance—how to get out of denial faster Step 2: Immediate outreach—breaking the isolation that keeps you stuck Step 3: Implementing structure—what to do RIGHT NOW to support yourself Step 4: Investigating triggers—what's really driving this beneath the surface Step 5: Developing a crisis response plan—how to create lasting recovery Step 6: Reconnecting with your WHY—the values your ED is violating What I wish I could tell my younger self 15+ years ago Why recovery isn't about perfection—it's about progress How to recommit to your best self starting TODAY If you're in the trenches, if you've relapsed, if you're struggling—this roadmap is for you. Not theory. Just honest, practical steps. THE 6-STEP RECOVERY ROADMAP STEP 1: RECOGNITION AND ACCEPTANCE The hardest step: Admitting where you are is no longer where you want to be. If I was relapsing today, I know I'd experience a strong pull toward denial. I might tell myself: "I'm just being more careful about what I eat" "I'm having a few bad days" "I can handle this on my own" What I'd do instead: ✅ Name what's happening - Get out of denial faster ✅ Ask myself: Am I skipping meals? Preoccupied with food thoughts? Anxious around mealtimes? Weighing myself? ✅ Practice self-compassion - Not excusing the behavior, but acknowledging eating disorders are complex illnesses, not personal failures ✅ Say to myself: "This is really hard. I don't have to do this alone." This step creates the foundation to move forward in ACTION instead of sitting in denial. STEP 2: IMMEDIATE OUTREACH Eating disorders thrive in isolation. My counter-attack would be CONNECTION. What I'd do: ✅ Contact someone I trust - In my case, my mom. I'd say: "I'm struggling with my thoughts and behaviors. I need support." ✅ Get professional help immediately If I had a treatment team: Contact them and say "I'm experiencing relapse. I need an appointment ASAP." If I didn't: Call primary care doctor, get a referral, look into local ED treatment centers ✅ Get accountability - Schedule meals, keep appointments with myself, check in with someone Key truth: Don't wait until things get "bad enough." Early intervention makes a tremendous difference. Breaking isolation doesn't mean everyone needs to know. It means strategically connecting with people who can provide support. STEP 3: IMPLEMENTING STRUCTURE What I'd put in place immediately: ✅ Regular eating patterns - Have a plan ready, no reinventing the wheel during vulnerable times. Use the same meals daily to reduce decision fatigue. ✅ Clean up social media & entertainment Unfollow accounts that trigger comparison or food obsession Avoid shows glorifying thinness or dieting Curate recovery-supportive content Join communities like Her Best Self Society (HerBestSelfSociety.com) ✅ Set clear boundaries with exercise - Temporarily pause formalized exercise, focus on gentle movement (This requires support—I couldn't do this alone) ✅ Document thoughts & feelings - Not to be perfect, but to increase awareness of patterns and triggers. Rebuild trust with body and mind. Structure = support. Not rigidity, but safety. STEP 4: INVESTIGATING TRIGGERS Eating disorders aren't just about food or weight. What's really happening beneath the surface? Questions I'd ask myself: ❓ What changes in my life have happened recently? (Transition, loss, increased responsibility, relationship change) ❓ What emotions am I struggling to manage? ❓ What am I trying to numb, distract from, or control? ❓ What needs aren't being met right now? ❓ What external pressures am I responding to? ❓ What beliefs am I believing about my worth, body, or identity? The truth: Eating disorders flare during periods of change and loss of control. Understanding triggers helps you heal beyond just the behaviors—you learn to process emotions in healthier ways. STEP 5: DEVELOPING A CRISIS RESPONSE PLAN Lasting recovery requires more than just putting out fires. What I'd create: ✅ Coping strategies - Tools to use when urges arise ✅ Relapse prevention plan - Document early warning signs, high-risk situations, actions to take ✅ Support system - Who to call, when, and why The sustainable plan is about building a life where: The eating disorder becomes less necessary and less powerful Recovery feels like moving TOWARD something meaningful Not just running away from illness Work with someone to determine exactly what support you need and put that planning in place. STEP 6: RECONNECTING WITH YOUR WHY The most important step: Remember what the eating disorder is stealing from you. What I'd do: ✅ Identify the values my ED violates The ED promises control, safety, worth. But it actually undermines: freedom, joy, creativity, authenticity, relationships, purpose. ✅ Compile a list: What has this ED taken from me? Holidays ruined Relationships lost Moments with loved ones missed Energy wasted Dreams on hold Future opportunities destroyed ✅ Ask: What present moments is it stealing RIGHT NOW? What future opportunities will be destroyed if I don't fix this? ✅ Dream beyond the disorder - What do I want my life to look like? Who is my BEST self? If I could go back 15+ years and tell my younger self: "You're gonna go through this godawful period, but on the other side is MAGICAL. You'll experience things you never would've allowed—wonderful relationships, contributions to the world, PURPOSE. Start dreaming NOW of the vision beyond this disorder." KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE 💛 "The opposite of quitting is recommitting. And sometimes that means you need a spelled-out roadmap." 💛 "If you're experiencing a relapse, this is very normal. It doesn't mean you failed. It simply means you're human." 💛 "Eating disorders thrive in isolation. My counter-attack would be CONNECTION." 💛 "Don't wait until things get 'bad enough.' Early intervention makes a tremendous difference." 💛 "Eating disorders aren't just about food or weight. What's really happening beneath the surface?" 💛 "The sustainable plan is about building a life where the eating disorder becomes less necessary and less powerful." 💛 "What has this eating disorder taken from me? What present moments is it stealing? What future opportunities will be destroyed if I don't fix this?" 💛 "Recovery isn't about doing everything perfectly. It's about progress, not perfection. Every compassionate moment with yourself is a victory." 💛 "Recovery isn't a destination you reach once and for all. These are skills you're learning." 💛 "You haven't failed. You've simply encountered another opportunity to practice compassion and recommit to the path toward freedom." 💛 "Whether this is your first day in recovery or your thousandth, whether you're thriving or struggling, you're worthy of support, compassion, and a life free from these constraints." 💛 "Recovery isn't just possible—with the right support and recommitment, it's inevitable." THE TRUTH ABOUT RELAPSE Relapse is NORMAL. It's part of recovery. ✅ It doesn't mean you've failed ✅ It means you're human ✅ It's another opportunity to practice compassion and recommit ✅ Reaching out for support is courage, not weakness If you're in a relapse right now, you're not alone. WHAT I WISH I COULD TELL MY YOUNGER SELF If I could go back 15+ years: "Friend, you're gonna have to go through this godawful period of your life, but on the other side is going to be MAGICAL. It's going to be so good. You'll experience things you never would've allowed—wonderful relationships, contributions to the world, PURPOSE." "Start dreaming RIGHT NOW of the vision you want beyond the eating disorder." "Ask yourself: What has this disorder taken from me? What is it stealing from my present? What future will be destroyed if I don't fix this?" READY TO TAKE ACTION? WORK WITH LINDSEY If you're struggling with disordered eating or an eating disorder that's been around for decades, and you're tired and fed up—I want to help you. I feel called to help as many women as possible get to the other side and recover from this devastating illness. Here's your personal invitation: Let's take this up a notch. 💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING This is where my gift shines. I'm able to get you RESULTS. We work together on tiny wins that lead to massive overcoming and triumph. I'm opening the doors to take on a few additional clients. If you've been on the fence about working with a recovery coach—now's the time. Don't wait. Commit to your future self. 👉 Head to www.herbestself.co and fill out a client application We'll get on the phone together and talk about what you need to navigate next steps in your recovery journey. 💛 HE

    22 min

  4. FEB 6

    EP 268: Eating Disorders in Midlife ~ Women 40+ Are Finally Recovering After Decades (Here's Why NOW Is the Perfect Time)

    I just turned 40 last month. And I don't know what shifts inside at midlife, but something changes when you hit this milestone. You start asking different questions: "Is this it?" "Is this who I really am?" "Is this all there is for me?" And if you've been battling an eating disorder for decades—maybe 10 years, maybe 20, maybe 30—you're asking an even harder question: "Who am I without this?" It's Eating Disorder Awareness Month. And this year, I want to talk about something we don't talk about enough—eating disorders in midlife. Did you know that eating disorder hospitalizations for women aged 45-65 have increased by 42% in the last decade? And yet, we still act like eating disorders are just a "young woman's problem." But if you're a woman in your late 30s, 40s, 50s, or beyond, and you're still struggling, I see you. This is NOT just a young woman's issue. And this episode? This one's for you. Because here's the truth: Midlife is an identity crisis. And breaking up with your eating disorder? That's an identity crisis too. And when those two collide, it can feel overwhelming. But what if this collision isn't a crisis at all? What if it's a crossroads? What if midlife is the PERFECT time to finally break free? IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL DISCOVER: Why midlife identity crisis and ED identity crisis are shockingly similar The statistics: 42% increase in ED hospitalizations for women 45-65, 13% of women over 50 engage in disordered eating Why more women are reaching out for support in midlife (and why that's powerful) The 5 reasons why NOW is the perfect season to go all in on recovery Why menopause/perimenopause can actually SUPPORT your recovery, not hinder it How to answer "I've had this for 30 years—how can I possibly recover now?" Real client stories: Women who recovered at 47, 52, and 61 What life AFTER ED in midlife actually looks like The reframe: This isn't a crisis, it's a crossroads Why the second half of your life is waiting for you to reclaim it KEY QUOTES 💛 "Midlife is an identity crisis. And breaking up with your eating disorder? That's an identity crisis too." 💛 "In midlife you ask: 'Who am I now that my kids don't need me?' In ED recovery you ask: 'Who am I without my eating disorder?' And the hardest question: 'I don't recognize myself anymore. So who AM I?'" 💛 "Eating disorder hospitalizations for women aged 45-65 have increased by 42% in the last decade. This is NOT just a young woman's issue." 💛 "You don't want to waste the second half of your life still trapped in this. You've already given the eating disorder the first half. You're not giving it the second." 💛 "Your body is changing whether you restrict or not. So what if you nourished it through this transition instead of punishing it?" 💛 "The question isn't 'How can I recover during menopause?' The question is 'How can I NOT recover during menopause?' 💛 "Recovery doesn't have an age limit. And it's not too late for you. The only thing that's too late? Waiting another decade to start." 💛 "This isn't a crisis. It's a crossroads. Midlife isn't the end. It's the beginning of the second half." 💛 "This is YOUR era. This is YOUR time." THE STATISTICS 📊 42% increase in eating disorder hospitalizations for women aged 45-65 in the last decade 📊 13% of women over 50 report disordered eating behaviors 📊 62% of women in midlife report weight and shape concerns significantly impact quality of life 📊 Women who seek treatment in their 40s and 50s have recovery rates comparable to—and sometimes BETTER than—younger women The truth: It is NOT too late. THE 5 REASONS WHY MIDLIFE IS THE PERFECT TIME TO RECOVER 1. You're running out of patience, not time You've tried everything. You're DONE. That urgency is your fuel. 2. "If not now, then when?" You're not wasting the second half of your life on this. 3. Your kids need less of you = space for YOU Finally, permission to ask: "What do I need?" 4. You're wiser now You're chasing presence, connection, LIFE—not perfection. 5. You have the resources now Financial, emotional, relational—you're ready to invest in yourself. MENOPAUSE & RECOVERY: WHY THEY WORK TOGETHER Your body is changing whether you restrict or not → Nourish it through the transition Hormonal shifts require MORE nourishment, not less → Support bone density, muscle mass, mental health Perimenopause forces you to let go of control → Exactly what recovery requires Recovery sets you up for a healthier second half → Bone health, heart health, energy, longevity REAL CLIENT STORIES ✨ Age 52: 33 years with bulimia. Today she's free, travels, eats without fear, rebuilding relationships. ✨ Age 47: Restricted her entire adult life. Today she's in the best health of her life—strong, energized, PRESENT. ✨ Age 61: "I spent 40 years believing I'd never be free. But I'm free now. And I have so much life left to live." WHAT LIFE AFTER ED IN MIDLIFE LOOKS LIKE 🌟 You wake up without immediately thinking about food or your body 🌟 You eat breakfast without guilt 🌟 You have ENERGY for work, passions, relationships 🌟 You're PRESENT with the people you love 🌟 You look in the mirror and recognize yourself—the REAL you 🌟 You travel, try new things, LIVE 🌟 You answer "Is this it?" with "No. This is just the beginning." THE REFRAME This isn't a crisis. It's a crossroads. You get to decide: Who do I want to be? How do I want to show up? What do I want my legacy to be? And the eating disorder? It doesn't get a vote. READY TO RECLAIM THE SECOND HALF OF YOUR LIFE? 💛 THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE Group coaching for women in midlife ready to break free. Monthly calls, sisterhood, support. www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective  💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING Deep, transformational work to reclaim YOUR life. This is YOUR era. 👉 www.herbestself.co  - Fill out a client application EATING DISORDER AWARENESS MONTH CHALLENGE If you're in midlife and still struggling: REACH OUT. Don't wait another year. Don't wait another decade. The perfect time is NOW. Share this episode with a woman in midlife who needs to hear this. Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now. Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

    25 min

  5. FEB 3

    EP 267.5: The Cost of Perfection ~ “Be Thin but Not Too Thin” (& Other Impossible Standards Destroying Your Mental Health)

    The cost of perfection left me perfectly exhausted. Be thin, but not too thin. Be confident but not overly confident. Be successful, but not too successful. If you're with me and you experience the pressure to be perfect, this is a perfect paradox—and it is time to dump the impossible standards that are destroying your mental health and that are so tied to eating disorders. In this episode, I'm diving into the relentless pressure to be perfect and how it's literally rewiring your brain to keep you stuck. Whether you're just starting your recovery journey or you've been on this path for years, perfectionism might feel like both an old friend and your biggest obstacle. And when you couple perfectionism with the pressure from culture and society to be Instagram-ready? The output you receive is simply exhaustion. You're exhausted, sis. And trying to live up to these impossible standards. But today, we're going to dissect this. We're going to look at what science says about breaking free. Because you don't just have to take my word for it—research shows your brain can actually change. In this episode, you'll discover: The impossible standards we're all trying to live up to (and why they're literally impossible) The shocking statistics: 68% of individuals with eating disorders display clinically significant perfectionism Why perfectionism often appears YEARS before any eating disorder behaviors The deep roots of perfectionism: family dynamics, trauma, social media (users who spend 3+ hours/day are 60% more likely to develop body image issues) The neuroscience: How perfectionists have heightened activity in the brain's "error detection center" How altered serotonin and dopamine systems make it harder for perfectionists to feel "good enough" or satisfied The vicious cycle: threat detection → anxiety → perfectionist behaviors → temporary relief → reinforced neural pathways The HOPE: How mindfulness, self-compassion, and exposure to imperfection can actually change your brain Why true recovery happens when you stop trying to do it perfectly and start doing it honestly A powerful devotional insight: "God won't bless who you pretend to be" The truth: Your worth isn't measured by impossible standards—it's measured by your courage to show up If you're tired of being tired, if you're exhausted from trying to be "perfect," if you feel stuck in the perfect paradox—this episode will give you both the science and the hope you need to break free. KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE 💛 "The cost of perfection left me perfectly exhausted." 💛 "Be thin, but not too thin. Be confident but not overly confident. Be successful, but not too successful. This is a perfect paradox and it is time to dump the impossible standards that are destroying your mental health." 💛 "That perfection you're chasing? It's like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands. Not humanly possible. It's just not possible." 💛 "I remember thinking that if I could just get everything perfect—my meals, my exercise, my body—then finally I'd be enough." 💛 "Research shows that up to 68% of individuals with eating disorders display clinically significant perfectionism. And perfectionism often appears even years before any eating disorder behaviors." 💛 "Perfectionists have heightened activity in the brain's error detection center. It acts like this oversensitive alarm system that's constantly scanning for things you're doing wrong or for mistakes." 💛 "The 'feel good' chemical—serotonin—is altered if you're a perfectionist, meaning the chemical that affects your mood regulation, your satisfaction, and the ability to feel good enough is altered." 💛 "Altered dopamine reward circuits make it harder to feel satisfied. It makes it harder for you to feel good enough. This creates that constant drive, that constant need to do better, to achieve more, to be smaller." 💛 "This cycle is created: Your threat detection system becomes hyperactive. This leads to increased anxiety. Anxiety triggers perfectionist behaviors. This gives you temporary relief. But it simply reinforces the cycle." 💛 "There is hope. With mindfulness practices, with self-compassion, with the opposite of perfection—being exposed to situations where you're almost forced to be imperfect—research shows you can actually change that hyperactivity in the brain." 💛 "Even if you feel like recovery is impossible, even if you feel like you've been doing this forever, I want you to understand that there is a neurobiological connection and research shows you can change. Your brain can change." 💛 "True recovery happens when you stop trying to do it perfectly and you start doing it honestly." 💛 "In a world filled with protocol, a never-ending list of do's and don'ts, and the pressure to be perfect, it can seem impossible to discover who you really are. But God uniquely made you. Nothing about you is a mistake, and He won't bless who you pretend to be." 💛 "Stop conforming, stop shrinking, stop dimming your light, and stop running from who and what you were always made to be." 💛 "Recovery is not about being perfect. It's about being present. It's about being real. It's about being gentle with you." 💛 "Your worth isn't measured by the ability to meet impossible standards, but it is measured by your courage to show up." THE IMPOSSIBLE STANDARDS (THE PERFECT PARADOX) You're trying to live up to contradictions that are literally impossible: ❌ Be thin, but not too thin ❌ Be confident, but not overly confident ❌ Be successful, but not too successful ❌ Be perfect with your meals, exercise, and body—then maybe you'll be enough The reality? These standards are like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands. They're not humanly possible. And when you couple perfectionism with the pressure from culture and society to be Instagram-ready, the output is exhaustion. Of course you're tired. Of course you're tired of being tired. It is impossible living up to these standards. THE STATISTICS: PERFECTIONISM & EATING DISORDERS 68% of individuals with eating disorders display clinically significant perfectionism Perfectionism often appears YEARS before any eating disorder behaviors - making it a crucial early warning sign Perfectionism remains elevated even AFTER recovery - making it a crucial focus in treatment and why so many people find themselves stuck in the "messy middle" of recovery Social media impact: Users who spend 3+ hours a day on social media are 60% more likely to develop body image issues THE DEEP ROOTS: WHERE PERFECTIONISM COMES FROM Your perfectionism didn't just appear out of nowhere. It has roots: 🌱 Early environmental factors: Family dynamics Parental expectations Academic and achievement pressure 🌱 Early exposure to: Diet culture Specific body ideals Trauma and childhood experiences 🌱 Social media's impact: Constant comparison Curated perfection Impossible standards reinforced daily THE NEUROSCIENCE: WHAT'S HAPPENING IN YOUR BRAIN 1. HEIGHTENED ERROR DETECTION CENTER Perfectionists have heightened activity in the brain's error detection center. It acts like an oversensitive alarm system constantly scanning for things you're doing wrong or mistakes. This hyperactivity creates a feedback loop of anxiety and self-criticism. This is how your brain keeps you "safe"—but it's also what keeps you stuck. 2. ALTERED SEROTONIN (THE "FEEL GOOD" CHEMICAL) Perfectionists often show altered functioning in serotonin—the chemical that affects: Mood regulation Satisfaction The ability to feel "good enough" Translation: It's harder for you to feel satisfied or content. This explains why perfectionism often co-occurs with anxiety, depression, and eating disorders. 3. ALTERED DOPAMINE (THE "REWARD" CHEMICAL) Perfectionists also show altered dopamine reward circuits, which means: It's harder to feel satisfied It's harder to feel "good enough" You have a constant drive to do better, achieve more, be smaller 4. ELEVATED CORTISOL (THE "STRESS" HORMONE) Constant stress and elevated cortisol levels: Make relaxation and self-acceptance SO much more challenging Impact immune function and physical health Worsen eating disorder symptoms (because you're stressed, tired, not eating enough to nourish your body) 5. REDUCED COGNITIVE FLEXIBILITY All of this makes it harder for you to: Be flexible in your thinking Accept the concept of not being perfect Navigate uncertainty THE VICIOUS CYCLE: HOW PERFECTIONISM KEEPS YOU STUCK Here's how the cycle works: 1. Threat Detection System on Overdrive Your brain's alarm system becomes hyperactive ↓ 2. Increased Anxiety Anxiety about failure, not being good enough, rejection, not being worthy ↓ 3. Perfectionist Behaviors Triggered Insert unhealthy eating disorder coping mechanisms ↓ 4. Temporary Relief You get a hit of that "feel superior" chemical because you feel in control ↓ 5. Cycle Reinforced This strengthens the neural pathway over time—like digging a ditch deeper and deeper in your mind ↓ REPEAT This is why it feels like you're literally crawling out of your skin. You want to do something differently, but you're not. The action is hard. If you're there, I see you. I get it. THE HOPE: YOUR BRAIN CAN CHANGE Here's the beautiful truth: Your brain can actually change. With: ✅ Mindfulness practices ✅ Self-compassion ✅ Exposure to imperfection (being in situations where you're forced to be imperfect and there's nothing you can do about it) ✅ New learning experiences (exposures) Research shows you can: Change that hyperactivity in the brain Improve serotonin function Create newer and healthier neural pathways That ditch can stop digging in one place and move to a different place in your brain that's gonna create healthier results for you. THE TRUTH: EVEN IF YOU FEEL STUCK, CHANG

    16 min

  6. JAN 30

    EP 267: Stop 'Shoulding' All Over Yourself ~ The One Word Keeping You Stuck in Your ED & How to Break Free

    There's ONE word that's absolutely destroying your progress in recovery. One word that's keeping you stuck, paralyzed, and living in a constant state of shame and disappointment. That word? Should. And sis, you need to stop shoulding all over yourself. Like, right now. Today. Because every time you tell yourself what you "should" be doing, what you "should" have accomplished by now, where you "should" be in your recovery—you're not motivating yourself. You're actually making it HARDER to take action. In this episode, I'm breaking down the science behind why "should" keeps you stuck, where all these "shoulds" come from in the first place, and giving you 5 powerful reframes you can start using TODAY to break free from the shame cycle and actually move forward. In this episode, you'll discover: The ONE word you need to stop using if you want to become the best version of yourself Where your "shoulds" come from (diet culture, perfectionism, family expectations, trauma, comparison) The science: Why "should" is the language of obligation, not empowerment Research from Stanford showing how "should" keeps your brain stuck in self-criticism instead of problem-solving How "shoulding" shows up specifically in eating disorder recovery Lindsey's personal story: "I should be over this by now" (like a bad boyfriend from 3 months ago) 5 powerful reframes to replace your "shoulds" with choice and compassion Why you're not behind, not failing, and not broken The edge: How to stop using "should" as an excuse to stay stuck A tangible homework assignment to catch yourself "shoulding" and reframe it If you've ever thought "I should eat this," "I should start today," "I should be further along," or "I should be over this by now"—this episode is your wake-up call. Stop shoulding. Start choosing. Become who you're BECOMING, not who you "should" be. KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE 💛 "Every time you tell yourself what you 'should' be doing, what you 'should' have accomplished by now, where you 'should' be in your recovery—you're not motivating yourself. You're actually making it HARDER to take action." 💛 "Your 'shoulds' didn't just appear out of nowhere. They were planted. They were taught. They were absorbed from every message you've ever received about who you're supposed to be." 💛 "These 'shoulds' create this distortion in your mind that where you currently are is SO far behind where you 'should' be. And so you live in this constant state of not enough." 💛 "'Should' is the language of obligation, not empowerment. It's the language of shame, not choice." 💛 "When we focus on what we 'should' be doing but aren't, our brain gets stuck in a loop of self-criticism rather than problem-solving. We're so focused on the gap that we can't actually take action to close it." 💛 "'Should' keeps you stuck focusing on what you AREN'T doing rather than what you ARE doing or COULD do." 💛 "I remember thinking, 'I should be over this by now. It's been YEARS. This is like a bad boyfriend I dated for three months—why am I still thinking about him?' And I felt so much shame." 💛 "I asked a different question: 'But should I? Should I be "over" something that was part of my life for so long? Should I expect perfection from myself?' And the answer? No." 💛 "You are not behind. You are not failing. You are not broken. You're healing. And healing doesn't follow a script." 💛 "If you're constantly 'shoulding' yourself but not taking action, you're using 'should' as an excuse to stay stuck." 💛 "Stop talking about what you 'should' do and start choosing what you WILL do." 💛 "The words you use shape the life you live. And if you're constantly shoulding yourself, you're living in a prison of obligation and shame." THE SCIENCE: WHY "SHOULD" KEEPS YOU STUCK Dr. Albert Ellis, founder of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, identified "should statements" as one of the core irrational beliefs that lead to emotional disturbance. He called it "shoulding" and "musturbation"—the belief that things MUST or SHOULD be a certain way. When reality doesn't match that "should," we experience anxiety, depression, guilt, and shame. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology study: People who use obligatory language like "should," "must," and "have to" experience higher levels of stress and lower levels of intrinsic motivation compared to people who use choice-based language like "choose to," "want to," or "could." Stanford University research: When we focus on what we "should" be doing but aren't, our brain gets stuck in a loop of self-criticism rather than problem-solving. We're so focused on the gap between where we are and where we "should" be that we can't actually take action to close that gap. The bottom line: "Should" keeps you stuck focusing on what you AREN'T doing rather than what you ARE doing or COULD do. WHERE YOUR "SHOULDS" COME FROM Your "shoulds" were planted, taught, and absorbed from: ❌ Diet culture - You should be smaller, eat clean, have willpower, look like her ❌ Perfectionism - You should have this figured out, be recovered already, do this better ❌ Family expectations - You should make everyone proud, not cause problems, be strong ❌ Past trauma - You should have prevented it, known better, be over it by now ❌ Comparison - You should be as far along as she is, making more progress, be different These create a distortion that where you currently are is SO far behind where you "should" be. And that's exhausting—and it's keeping you stuck. HOW "SHOULDING" SHOWS UP IN ED RECOVERY "I should eat this." → Implies obligation, not choice. Strips away agency. Builds resentment, not trust. "I should start today." → Implies you're behind, late, already failed before you begin. Starts with shame instead of hope. "I should be further along by now." → Assumes there's a timeline you're supposed to be on. Ignores YOUR unique journey. "I should be able to eat normally." → Rooted in comparison and unrealistic expectations. Ignores the reality of YOUR story. "I should be over this by now." → The killer. Creates shame for being human and healing at your own pace. LINDSEY'S PERSONAL STORY Years into recovery, Lindsey still had moments where the eating disorder voice crept back in. One day she thought: "I should be over this by now. It's been YEARS. This is like a bad boyfriend I dated for three months—why am I still thinking about him?" She felt intense shame. What's wrong with me? Why am I not fully healed? But then she stopped and asked a different question: "But should I?" Should I be "over" something that was part of my life for so long? Should I expect perfection? Should I shame myself for being human? The answer? No. The reframe: "I'm healing at my own pace. And that's exactly what I need to be doing." Just like that, the shame lifted. The pressure lifted. And she could actually move forward instead of staying stuck in self-judgment. THE 5 POWERFUL REFRAMES REFRAME #1: ❌ Instead of: "I should eat this." ✅ Say: "I choose to nourish my body with this." or "I'm giving my body what it needs." Why it works: Choice language = empowerment. You're not obligated. You're making a conscious decision. REFRAME #2: ❌ Instead of: "I should start today." ✅ Say: "I'm ready to begin today." or "Today is a great day to take the next step." Why it works: Removes the shame of being "behind" and replaces it with readiness and hope. REFRAME #3: ❌ Instead of: "I should be further along by now." ✅ Say: "I'm exactly where I need to be in my journey." or "I'm making progress, even if it doesn't look like I thought it would." Why it works: Honors your unique timeline and removes comparison. Progress isn't linear. REFRAME #4: ❌ Instead of: "I should be able to eat normally." ✅ Say: "I'm learning to eat in a way that honors my body." or "I'm building a new relationship with food, and that takes time." Why it works: Removes unrealistic expectations and replaces them with patience and self-compassion. REFRAME #5: ❌ Instead of: "I should be over this by now." ✅ Say: "I'm healing at my own pace, and that's exactly what I need." or "Recovery is a journey, not a destination. I'm on my way." Why it works: Gives you permission to be human. To heal in YOUR time. To stop rushing the process. THE COMPASSIONATE TRUTH You are not behind. You are not failing. You are not broken. You're healing. And healing doesn't follow a script. It doesn't follow a timeline. It doesn't look the same for everyone. When you stop "shoulding" yourself, you create space for what's actually true: ✅ You're doing the best you can with what you have right now ✅ You're allowed to be imperfect ✅ You're allowed to take your time ✅ You're allowed to choose yourself without shame When you replace "should" with choice, compassion, and truth—you unlock the ability to actually MOVE FORWARD instead of staying stuck in self-judgment. THE EDGE: STOP USING "SHOULD" AS AN EXCUSE If you're constantly "shoulding" yourself but not taking action, you're using "should" as an excuse to stay stuck. "I should start recovery" becomes a way to avoid actually starting "I should eat better" becomes a way to avoid actually nourishing yourself "I should be further along" becomes a way to avoid doing the work to GET further along The challenge: Stop talking about what you "should" do and start choosing what you WILL do. Not because you have to. Not because you're obligated. But because you WANT freedom. Because you're READY to heal. Because you CHOOSE yourself. YOUR HOMEWORK: CATCH & REFRAME Catch yourself "shoulding" three times today. Just three. When you do, pause and ask yourself: Where did this "should" come from? Is it true? Or is it just an expectation I'm putting on myself? What would I say instead if I spoke to myself with compassion? Then reframe it using one

    20 min

  7. JAN 27

    EP 266: You Won't Recover If You Don't Believe You Can ~ Here's How to Build That Belief (6 Proven Steps)

    Let me be real with you: You won't experience healing if you don't lean in. And you won't lean in if you don't believe it's possible. This is the hardest thing about eating disorder recovery. Not the meal plan. Not the weight restoration. Not even the challenging of thoughts. It's the BELIEF. The belief that recovery from this terrible, horrifying, very no good, unfortunate eating disorder that has taken over your life is actually possible for YOU. Maybe you listen to this podcast and think, "Great, Lindsey. I love that this is inspirational, but I'm just not sure I'm fully bought in to the possibility that I can experience freedom. That I could actually change." If that's you, this episode is your game-changer + it's a ⭐ Fan Favorite that we knew we wanted to re-share with you this week. Recently, I had conversations with women who asked me, "Lindsey, I love what you do, but how do you help these women create that belief that this is possible for them?" And I said, "That IS the hardest thing. It's believing that this is possible." So today, I'm giving you a proven framework—a tangible acronym that spells out BELIEF—to help you overcome the limiting beliefs that are keeping you stuck and preventing you from your very best life. In this episode, you'll discover: Why so many women stay stuck in the destructive cycle (hint: they don't believe freedom is possible) The truth: Belief CAN be created, and it's a crucial step in the healing process The BELIEF Framework: 6 proven steps to create unwavering faith in your recovery B - Begin Small: Why trying to change everything at once keeps you stuck E - Embrace Support: The game-changing power of working with someone specialized in ED recovery L - Learn and Learn Again: How educating yourself builds reassurance and hope I - Imagine Your Future: The science behind visualization and why your brain can't tell the difference E - Establish Positive Practices: How to challenge negative thoughts and speak kinder to yourself F - Focus on Why: Why your "why" is greater than your "now" The powerful William James quote: "Belief creates actual fact" Why recovery is scientifically and clinically possible (yes, even for you) How to answer the question: "Can I believe there is something greater on the other side of all this?" If you want to recover, if you want freedom so badly, if you're tired of running in circles, if you're exhausted from your unhealthy relationship with food and exercise—this episode will show you how to build the belief you need to finally break free. Because if I can do it, then so can you, friend. KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE 💛 "You won't experience healing if you don't lean in. And the possibility of it being possible is dependent upon your belief." 💛 "If you choose to stay in that fixed mindset of 'I doubt myself, I will always be this way, there's no room for any of that freedom for me,' then that is where you will stay. But belief can be created." 💛 "A lot of women will stay stuck in this destructive cycle because they just don't believe that freedom's possible for them." 💛 "We are bounce back creatures. Anything is possible for us. But the possibility of it being possible is dependent upon your belief." 💛 "It doesn't matter which direction you go, as long as you continue to look forward and you continue to build forward." 💛 "Well, if she can do it, why can't I?" 💛 "Understanding that recovery is scientifically and clinically possible—this is gonna build that reassurance for you and give your brain some safety that leads to hope with belief." 💛 "It does not matter if you've done something before or if you have visualized something before—if you can visualize it, you can become it. If you can visualize it, you can be it." 💛 "Trust that your why is greater than your now. Trust that your why is bigger than your present reality." 💛 "Belief creates actual fact." - William James, Father of American Psychology 💛 "Can I believe that there is something grander, that there is something greater on the other side of all this? Can I believe that there is something more for me than this? And if your answer's yes, you already have the belief you need right now to create the life that you want." THE BELIEF FRAMEWORK: 6 PROVEN STEPS This acronym will help you build the belief you need to recover. Grab a piece of paper and jot this down—or come back to this section whenever doubt creeps in. THE POWERFUL TRUTH: BELIEF CREATES ACTUAL FACT William James, the father of American psychology, stated: "Belief creates actual fact." So when the enemy tries to steal your joy this week—when the enemy tries to bring you doubt and discouragement, when the enemy tries to have you staring at your step count, giving yourself shame thoughts, looking at your mirror and telling your body that you hate yourself—I want you to lean in. Remember these core fundamentals to step into belief: B - Begin Small E - Embrace Support L - Learn and Learn Again I - Imagine Freedom E - Establish Positive Practices F - Focus on Why You have the power to believe in the process. Trust that you might not know all the answers, but you're striving to figure them out along the way. READY TO BUILD BELIEF WITH SUPPORT? WORK WITH LINDSEY 💛 JOIN OUR EMAIL COMMUNITY Get multiple weeks of encouragement, tools, and support delivered straight to your inbox. 👉 Head to www.herbestself.co and get on our email list 💛 WORK WITH A RECOVERY COACH If you're looking for someone to help you along your path to freedom, I have coaches on my team (or myself) who would love to support you. We'll help you incorporate these BELIEF steps in tangible ways—like tools in a toolbox—that are gonna get you living your very best life. 👉 Fill out a client application https://docs.google.com/forms/d/13WDpvmQNoVvAytBdqM72FIp1AqXMfSFrqzQVvBWrwHY/edit  💛 THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE Join my group coaching community where women come together to build belief, support each other, and do the deep work of recovery. www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective  💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING If you're ready for deep, transformational work and personalized support to build unshakeable belief in your recovery—let's partner together. Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now. Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

    19 min

  8. JAN 23

    EP 265: "Don't Try to Fix Her" ~ A Husband's Guide to Supporting His Wife in Eating Disorder Recovery with Kevin Nichol💙

    Today is a very special episode. For the first time ever, I'm bringing on a guest. And not just any guest—my husband, Kevin. If you've been listening to this podcast for a while, you know I talk a lot about my recovery journey, the tools, the strategies, the mindset shifts. But what I don't talk about as much is the man behind the scenes. The man who supports me. The man who holds down the fort so I can record this podcast, run my business, and continue to show up for you every single week. Kevin is that man. He's the anchor. And it's time for you to meet him. Here's the truth: Recovery doesn't just affect the person struggling. It affects the whole family. And the support of a partner can make or break the journey. Kevin met me shortly after my recovery, but he's watched me navigate ups and downs with body image and restrictive behaviors throughout our marriage. He's a law enforcement officer, lifts heavy weights, is in tip-top shape, and constantly pushes himself to the limit. He's an alpha personality—strong, driven, disciplined. And he's also a man of God, a father to our two boys, and the most supportive partner I could ever ask for. But supporting someone in eating disorder recovery didn't come naturally to him. He had to learn. And today, he's sharing what he learned—for the men listening, and for the women who want their husbands or partners to understand what real support looks like. In this episode, you'll hear: How Kevin met me shortly after recovery and realized it's an ongoing journey, not a one-and-done Why his instinct to "fix" me actually created distance instead of intimacy The words he thought were supportive that actually made me feel dismissed What he did that made me feel the MOST safe and supported How he learned not to react in passion or frustration, but to actively listen instead Why asking "What do you need right now to feel safe?" changed everything How Kevin had to recognize that what HE needs for his body is very different from what I need The learning curve of being an alpha male married to someone in ED recovery What it really looks like to be "the man behind the biz" (spoiler: it's cooking, cleaning, and holding down the fort) Kevin's 5 practical takeaways for men supporting their wives through ED recovery or body image struggles A sneak peek at future episodes where Kevin will come back to share more of his perspective If you're a woman in recovery, send this episode to your husband or partner. If you're a man listening, thank you for being here. Thank you for wanting to support your wife. This episode is for you. KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE 💛 "Your wife doesn't need you to fix her. She needs you to support her. And those are two very different things." - Lindsey 💛 "You don't have to understand everything she's going through to support her. You don't have to have all the answers. But you do have to be willing to listen. And I mean really listen—without trying to fix it, without pressuring her, without making unnecessary comments." - Kevin 💛 "Early on, my instinct was to say things like, 'You're fine. You look great. Just go eat more.' And I thought I was being supportive. But what I didn't realize was that those kinds of comments actually created more distance between us." - Kevin 💛 "That disconnect—it affected intimacy. Not just physical intimacy, but emotional intimacy too." - Lindsey 💛 "I had to learn that sometimes the most supportive thing I can do is just listen. Ask questions. Ask what you need to feel safe. And then do that." - Kevin 💛 "When you asked what I needed instead of assuming, I felt seen. I felt heard. I felt like you were on my team." - Lindsey 💛 "I can't take away the struggle. I can't make the eating disorder voice go away. But I can support you in climbing out of the struggle. I can listen. I can be present. I can remind you who you are." - Kevin 💛 "You don't have to sit in the struggle with her. But you can support her in climbing out. You can be her safe place." - Kevin 💛 "I had to grant you permission to have a different relationship with your body than I have with mine. Your recovery doesn't look like my fitness journey. And that's okay." - Kevin 💛 "Supporting your wife's recovery—or supporting her business, her calling, her purpose—sometimes looks like doing the dishes or making dinner or getting the kids to bed so she can have space to breathe. It's not glamorous. But it matters." - Kevin 💛 "Your job is just to be the anchor." - Kevin MEET KEVIN NICHOL Kevin is: A law enforcement officer A fitness enthusiast who lifts heavy and pushes himself to the limit An alpha personality—strong, driven, disciplined A man of God A father to two boys Lindsey's husband and "the man behind the biz" The anchor who holds down the fort so Lindsey can do this work Kevin met Lindsey shortly after her initial recovery, but quickly realized that recovery is ongoing. He's watched her navigate ups and downs with body image and restrictive behaviors throughout their marriage, and he's learned how to support her without trying to fix her. KEVIN'S 5 PRACTICAL TAKEAWAYS FOR MEN If you're a man whose wife is struggling with an eating disorder, body image issues, or disordered eating, here's what Kevin wants you to know: #1: DON'T TRY TO FIX HER Your job isn't to solve the problem. Your job is to support her while she does the hard work of recovery. That means listening. Asking what she needs. Being present. #2: WATCH YOUR WORDS Don't say things like: "You're fine" "Just eat more" "You look great, stop worrying" Those comments, even though they're well-intentioned, can make her feel dismissed. Instead, ask: "What do you need from me right now?" #3: RECOGNIZE THAT WHAT YOU NEED FOR YOUR BODY IS DIFFERENT FROM WHAT SHE NEEDS If you're into fitness or discipline or pushing your limits, that's great. But don't project that onto her. Grant her permission to have a different relationship with her body. Your fitness journey is not her recovery journey. And that's okay. #4: BE HER SAFE PLACE When she's spiraling, when she's struggling, when the eating disorder voice is loud—be the one who reminds her of the truth. Remind her: She's loved She's more than enough Her value isn't tied to her body She is who God created her to be #5: DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY Her struggle isn't about you. It's not because you're not enough or because you're doing something wrong. This is her battle. But you can be her ally. WHAT KEVIN DID THAT MADE LINDSEY FEEL SAFE Kevin shares that the most supportive thing he learned to do was: ✅ Not reacting in passion or frustration - Even when he didn't understand why Lindsey was struggling, he learned not to react from confusion or frustration because it only made things worse. ✅ Actively listening - Instead of trying to fix or dismiss, he learned to ask, "What do you need right now to feel safe?" ✅ Taking action based on her needs - Sometimes that meant: Cooking dinner so Lindsey didn't have to make food decisions Picking the restaurant so she didn't spiral in anxiety Reminding her of her truth and worth Simply sitting with her without trying to solve anything The result? Lindsey felt seen. Heard. Supported. Like Kevin was on her team. THE ALPHA MALE LEARNING CURVE As someone who lifts heavy weights, is disciplined with fitness, and pushes his body to the limit, Kevin had to learn an important lesson: What HE needs for his body is very different from what Lindsey needs. In the beginning, Kevin would talk about his workouts, his macros, his goals—not realizing it could be triggering for Lindsey. Because for him, fitness and discipline are about strength and performance. But for Lindsey, those topics were tied to control, restriction, and shame. Kevin had to learn: To be mindful of how he talked about fitness and discipline To grant Lindsey permission to have a different relationship with her body than he has with his That her recovery doesn't look like his fitness journey—and that's okay Lindsey says: "That was one of the most loving things you did for me. You gave me permission to be different. To need different things. To heal in my own way." THE MAN BEHIND THE BIZ Kevin doesn't get a lot of recognition, but he's the anchor. He's the one who makes it possible for Lindsey to do this work. What that looks like practically: Cooking meals Cleaning the house Taking care of the boys so Lindsey can record the podcast Getting the kids to bed so Lindsey can do yoga or self-care Holding down the fort so Lindsey can show up for her clients and her calling Kevin says: "Supporting your wife's recovery—or supporting her business, her calling, her purpose—sometimes looks like doing the dishes or making dinner or getting the kids to bed so she can have space to breathe. It's not glamorous. But it matters." And it matters SO much. WHAT'S NEXT: KEVIN IS COMING BACK This is the first of what we hope will be many episodes with Kevin. Future topics might include: What NOT to Say to Your Wife About Food or Body How to Be Her Safe Place When She's Spiraling Navigating Intimacy When She's Struggling with Body Image The Man's Perspective on Recovery: What You're Really Feeling (And How to Handle It) If you're a woman listening: Send this episode to your husband or partner. Share it. Tag us on Instagram. Let's open up this conversation. If you're a man listening: Thank you for being here. Thank you for wanting to support your wife. We're going to keep creating content that helps you do that. NEED SUPPORT IN YOUR RECOVERY? WORK WITH LINDSEY 💛 THE RECO

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Her Best Self is THE eating disorder recovery podcast for women ready to find freedom from disordered eating, body obsession, perfectionism and food anxiety.  Hosted by Lindsey Nichol, former figure skater and perfectionist turned eating disorder recovery coach, this show gives you practical tools for healing your relationship with food and body, overcoming perfectionism, and breaking free from diet culture. Twice per week, you'll get real talk about ED recovery, intuitive eating, body neutrality, perfectionism, people-pleasing, and the faith-based journey to becoming your best self—imperfectly. If you're struggling with anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, orthorexia, or disordered eating patterns, this podcast will help you: - Stop obsessing over food and your body - Break free from restriction and binge cycles - Overcome perfectionism and people-pleasing - Build body trust and food freedom - Find community and support in recovery New episodes every Tuesday and Friday. Apply to work with Lindsey 1:1 or learn more about her services and free resources at www.herbestself.co. Join The Recovery Collective ~ the recovery support group that gets the struggle and wants to see you win at recovery at www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective. ``` *Tune in for all things eating disorder recovery, disordered eating, food freedom, body image, intuitive eating, ED recovery, anorexia recovery, bulimia recovery, binge eating recovery, orthorexia, body neutrality, diet culture, perfectionism, food anxiety, body obsession, food restriction. _____________________________________________________________________ **DISCLAIMER** Trigger warning: The episodes on Her Best Self podcast may, at times, cover sensitive topics including but not limited to eating disorders & mental health. You are advised to refrain from listening if you are likely to be triggered or adversely impacted by any of these topics. Neither Lindsey Nichol LLC, associates nor guests, shall at any time be liable for the content covered causing offense, distress or any other reaction. The information contained comes from personal insight & education but should not be viewed as clinical support or professional diagnosis. Anything said should NOT be taken as a replacement for medical intervention & is nothing is intended to establish a therapist-patient relationship, to replace the services of a trained therapist, doctor or other health professional, nor treatment. @ Copyright 2025 Lindsey Nichol LLC

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