33 episodes
Adoptees Crossing Lines Zaira
-
- Society & Culture
-
-
4.9 • 26 Ratings
-
In this podcast I deconstruct the romanticism holding up the adoption industry and expose the lies, abuse, and pain that gets silenced. I'm here to unwrap the shiny bow around adoption and speak my truths as an adoptee. In doing so, I explain what it means and what it feels like to “come out of the fog”. This isn't your feel good podcast, I am an angry, healing and honest adoptee.
-
-
-
Mila's Truth: Navigating Adoption, Liberation, and Community
Mila's Truth: Navigating Adoption, Liberation, and Community
The Church does an excellent job of silencing you if you oppose them. They’d even hire a marketing company to rebrand adoption so that their business as adoption middlemen can continue to thrive. But, it’s not just the Church. The dominant culture is to silence anyone who speaks up against adoption. To make them feel shame. To gaslight them. That was Mila Konomos’ experience once she realized how adoption has wounded her.
Mila tells her story of how she was forcibly removed from her family in 1975 to the realization in 2009 that everything she thought she knew about adoption was a lie. She discusses how reuniting with her biological parents changed everything, how similar she realized she was hto her bio parents, grappling with her identity, the power of speaking up, and the cultural resistance against accepting the truth about adoption.
Mila is the host of the podcast called Everything You Think You Know About Adoption Is A Lie.
“If you don't change the narrative, then you can't change the policies.”
What we discussed
(00:22) Who is Mila Kanomos?
(01:39) Being a (clueless) grateful adoptee
(04:25) Realizing I’m actually wounded
(06:00) “You had this information all of my life?!”
(08:24) The Last Unicorn
(12:55) Terrified of opposing adoption publicly
(15:50) The Church is complicit
(18:23) Propaganda around adoption
(19:38) Surviving reunion
(22:04) How do I become Korean?
(25:39) Biological traits & connections
(30:55) Everything you know about adoption is a lie
(36:43) Church PAID to rebrand adoption
(41:03) Centering adoptee narratives
(44:47) Adoption IS oppression
(49:03) What can you do about this?
(55:51) You already know who you are
Links
Everything You Think You Know About Adoption Is A Lie Podcast
Child Catchers by Catherine Joyce
Connect with Mila: Instagram | Podcast Instagram
Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok
Credits
Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at Drumaboyiglobal@gmail.com -
My Journey to Abolition
My Journey To Abolition
Every adult in my childhood has failed me, none of them did what they’re supposed to. Every part of the system failed me…it did exactly what it’s supposed to. The system kills children and breaks families, it must be abolished. In this episode, I share how I gradually evolved towards this deep belief starting from a school trip to juvie when I was just 10. I talk about my encounters with the family policing system growing up and how it failed me.
My story is not an is not an anomaly or an isolated incident. This is the experience of many children who are victims of the family policing system that they carry with them through adulthood.
Abolition is a journey toward collective liberation, this is my journey so far…
[CW: Sexual and Physical Abuse]
What we discussed
(00:22) Taking a trip to juvie at 10 years old
(03:42) The system is NOT broken
(04:42) [CW] Punished for speaking up about abuse
(07:30) Losing faith in adoption, police, and the system OR My first encounter with family policing system
(10:32) Going to school with bruises on my arm OR “You had a really good school year because DCF did not show up at my door” OR DCF shows up, I’m a disappointment OR DCF gets me in trouble
(16:41) My adopters’ public facade OR Where my skepticism started OR Losing respect for authority
(19:10) Suffering through therapy
(21:40) Who are they protecting? OR Abolition is the only option
(25:54) The system doesn’t care about children [CW: school shootings] OR They let alligators eat black babies (true story)
(31:45) My journey with queerness OR Queers in evangelical homes
Links
Learn more about abolition: Alan Dettlaff Episode | Torn Apart by Dorothy Roberts
Confronting the Racist Legacy of the American Child Welfare System By Alan Dettlaff
13th Documentary | The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander
Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok
Credits
Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at Drumaboyiglobal@gmail.com -
Navigating Change: A Conversation with Josh Lamers, Co-founder of Collective of Child Welfare Survivors
Josh Lamers
Adoption is trauma. How do we help surviving children heal the wounds they’ve sustained from the child welfare system? Josh Lamers, a transracial adoptee, is public enemy #1 for child welfare agencies in Canada. He joins the show to discuss what adoption and child welfare are like in Canada; and how his organization, Collective of Child Welfare Survivors, advocates for child welfare survivors though addressing harm reduction, counseling, unpacking racial displacement, and community development…amongst many other things.
“The child who's now back in your home is not the same child who was taken out of your home.”
What we discussed
(00:21) Who is Josh Lamers?
(01:57) His transracial adoption experience OR “My adoption was illegal”
(08:51) How child welfare works in Canada OR Adoption system in Canada
(13:47) Insights from studying adoption OR What’s wrong with research about adoption
(23:51) Psychiatric system and adoption
(26:26) Disability and adoption (and why Josh’s adoption was illegal)
(32:22) Myth of “unmanageable kids”
(34:05) How they advocate for child welfare survivors
(45:50) How to support child advocacy work
Links
Outsiders Within
Collective of Child Welfare Survivors: Donate
Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok
Credits
Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at Drumaboyiglobal@gmail.com -
Adoptees & Community
Adoptees & Community
Before I found other adoptees online I was lost. I wanted to know where I came from, and I wanted to know others like me. Most adoption communities center adoptive parents and foster parents. We are left out of the picture. This doesn’t make sense. This episode is a collection of my thoughts on this matter.
“One of the most vital ways we sustain ourselves is by building communities of resistance; places where we know we are not alone.” - Bell Hooks
What we discussed
(00:23) Healing power of community
(04:41) Feeling disillusioned by my adoption
(05:59) My adopters in public vs. at home (what people don’t know about adoptive parents)
(07:55) Grassroots communities vs. government agencies
(08:57) If only my mom had community support
(11:39) Looking for spaces with adoptees OR I didn’t know other adoptees
(15:06) Struggling with suicidal ideation
(18:35) Belonging nowhere
(20:38) What binds the adoptee community together
Links
Race, Gender, and Cultural Politics by Bell Hooks
Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok
Credits
Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at Drumaboyiglobal@gmail.com
Customer Reviews
Can’t Stop Listening
I am a queer, white woman in my 30s. I won’t have biological children, but I do want a family, so I’ve been searching for stories about adoption and foster care.
Stumbled upon this RARE podcast that actually centers **the stories of adoptees and people who have survived the foster care system,** as opposed to stories from the adoptive/foster parent perspective. This has been vital listening for me, and absolutely exploded my perspective of what adoption means. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. This podcast has changed my life and will impact my future decisions. I am inspired to learn more about abolition.
Excellent content, well produced, expert guests and researchers from all facets of the industry. The personal stories that the hosts and guests share are profound, vulnerable and fascinating. Truly an amazing listen.
Eye opening
Appreciate the hosts’ honesty, especially in sharing all emotions.
REAL STUFF ABOUT ADOPTION NOT SUGARCOATED!
Okay, so I follow this podcast on social media as I was coming out of the FOG as an adoptee myself and dealing with severe trauma and just listened to the most recent episode with Azriel and they’ve been my first adoptee friend on social media and I was like “this is gonna probably hurt like a lot but they’re my friend and I care and Love them!” So I listened to this episode and loved it, their story is a lot like mine after I listened to it I was DM-ing them as I was listening having similar experiences as an adoptee. When I first came out of the FOG I was mentally a mess, medication was completely messed up and I was forcibly institutionalized twice in my life and it really made me worse when I came out of that. Anyway just wanted to say FANTASTIC podcast and Azriel told their story well and beautifully and really hit me hard! and they are right I wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for this community of adoptees!!
Top Podcasts In Society & Culture
You Might Also Like