EVOLVE with Dr. Tay: the podcast for parents of autistic kids

Dr. Taylor Day
  • 4.8 (69)
  • PARENTING
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

welcome to a parenting space actually designed for YOU! where you can get answers about navigating a life that includes autism. I’m Dr. Tay, a licensed child psychologist specializing in autism and neuroaffirming care. I have supported 100s of autistic children and their families and have been in the autism field for over a decade. on this podcast, we focus on supporting your autistic child AND your whole family, including you! every topic is on the table, and your questions (which you can submit through my social media) inspire the episodes created. I share some of my personal stories growing up with a brother who was diagnosed at 23 months of age as well as feature other families' stories so you know you are not navigating this journey alone. this is a space for you to be SEEN. HEARD. SUPPORTED. and get reputable and reliable information about autism instead of searching Google endlessly for hours. I am so dang grateful that you are here. ***disclaimer: not clinical advice, for educational purposes only*** subscribe to this podcast by hitting the plus or follow button so you don't miss an episode.

  1. 1D AGO

    216 | can kids actually mask? understanding autism in high-masking children

    about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇one reason autism can be missed in children is the belief that kids “can’t mask.” but they absolutely can. in this episode, dr. tay breaks down what masking can look like in autistic children, including why a child may seem “fine” at school but completely fall apart at home. you’ll learn how masking can be conscious or unconscious, how culture and reinforcement shape behavior, and why subtle signs matter so much during autism evaluations. this episode is especially helpful if you’ve ever wondered why your child seems so different across environments, or if you’ve been told their challenges must be “just behavioral” because they are not showing up everywhere. in this episode, you’ll hear:why autistic children can mask, even at young ageshow masking can contribute to delayed or missed autism diagnoseswhy kids may hold it together all day and then melt down at homethe difference between conscious masking and subconscious maskinghow reinforcement, modeling, and culture, can shape masking behaviorswhy people pleasing and anxiety often plays a role in masking and self-advocacywhat evaluators need to understand when assessing high-masking childrenhow to create safer spaces for kids to unmask and build self-advocacy over time timestamps00:00 understanding masking in children 02:50 the cycle of masking and rebound effects 05:49 the nuances of masking: conscious vs. unconscious 09:05 cultural influences on masking behaviors 11:52 modeling and reinforcement in masking 15:01 people-pleasing traits and their impact 17:57 the role of anxiety in masking 20:47 evaluation challenges in high-masking individuals 23:52 subtle indicators of autism in masking 26:54 creating safe spaces for unmasking 29:47 empowering self-advocacy in autistic children resources⚡️ autism traits guide — a $7 parent-friendly resource breaking down autism diagnostic criteria and sharing more in-depth traits, including those in high masking individuals ⚡️ high masking continuing education (CE) training for clinicians ⚡️ learn more about diagnostic evaluations through dr. tay concierge clinical care

    35 min

  2. MAY 14

    215 | parent therapy beyond talking: EMDR, IFS, ketamine, and intensive therapy with Dr. Carolyn Solo

    about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇parents of autistic kids are often told, “you need your own support too.” but what happens when traditional talk therapy doesn’t feel like enough or a good fit? or hasn't historically worked? in this episode, dr. tay is joined by dr. carolyn solo, a therapist specializing in EMDR, IFS, ketamine-assisted psychotherapy, and intensive therapy models. together, they explore why parents of neurodivergent kids may carry more chronic stress and nervous system overwhelm than they realize, and why bottom-up therapy approaches can be so helpful. this conversation is not about “fixing” you as a parent. it’s about understanding how your nervous system has been carrying the weight of advocacy, hypervigilance, uncertainty, and caregiving, and what kinds of support may help you show up with more grounding, compassion, and capacity. in this episode, you’ll hear:why parents of neurodivergent kids may experience chronic stress and trauma symptomshow supporting the parent can support the entire family systemwhat IFS is and why “all parts are welcome” fits so naturally with neurodiversity-affirming carehow EMDR helps process experiences that continue to activate the nervous systemwhy bottom-up therapies can be helpful when insight alone is not creating changewhat ketamine-assisted psychotherapy is and how it may support deeper therapeutic workhow intensive therapy models can offer a different path for busy, overwhelmed parentswhy noticing your child’s progress, not just their next goal, can be part of your own healing timestamps00:00 introduction to alternative therapies for parents of autistic kids 02:54 the journey of a therapist and parent 06:00 understanding trauma in parenting neurodivergent children 09:01 the importance of parental self-care 11:57 exploring internal family systems (IFS) therapy 17:53 the benefits of bottom-up therapies 22:50 understanding eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) and its mechanism 29:09 exploring the intensive model of therapy 31:29 the role of ketamine in therapy 39:22 mindset shifts for parents of neurodiverse children resources⚡️ connect with dr. carolyn solo + learn more about her therapy approach here plus follow on Instagram @integritas_wellness_recovery ⚡️ learn more about dr. tay’s whole family approach + clinical services

    40 min

  3. MAY 7

    214 | what autism looks like in toddlers (and why it’s often missed)

    about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇one of the biggest misconceptions parents hear is: “they’re too young to diagnose autism.” but research tells us something very different. in this episode, dr. tay breaks down what we actually know about early autism diagnosis, including how autism can present in toddlers, why early signs are often missed or explained away, and what parents should be paying attention to when something feels different. you’ll also learn why the phrase “wait and see” can sometimes do more harm than good and how to think about timing, evaluations, and support through a neurodiversity-affirming lens. in this episode, you’ll hear:why autism can be reliably diagnosed much earlier than many parents are toldhow to recognize patterns that may point toward autism in toddlerswhy “wait and see” advice can sometimes delay meaningful supporthow an early diagnosis can shift understanding, accommodations, and access to serviceswhat it looks like to advocate for your child when something feels different timestamps00:00 what age can autism actually be diagnosed? 07:22 why early diagnosis matters 12:26 “mindful waiting” vs. “wait and see” 20:03 access to supports and services 24:02 early autism signs in toddlers 34:10 trusting your instincts and advocating early resources⚡️ autism traits guide — a $7 parent-friendly resource breaking down autism diagnostic criteria and sharing more in-depth traits ⚡️ nuanced discussions on ABA: episodes 26, 59, 128, and 131 ⚡️ learn more about diagnostic evaluations for young children through dr. tay concierge clinical care ⚡️study referenced in today's episode (Pierce et al., 2019)

    37 min

  4. APR 29

    213 | "could I be autistic too?" what many parents realize after their child’s diagnosis

    about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇for a lot of parents, the autism journey doesn’t stop with their child’s diagnosis. at some point… it starts to feel personal. you hear the questions during an evaluation, you start learning more about autism, and suddenly you’re thinking: “this sounds like me…” in this episode, dr. tay walks through what this process actually looks like — why it’s so common, why it can feel complicated, and how it can impact not just you, but your relationship and your entire family dynamic. because this isn’t just about understanding your child. it’s about understanding yourself and what that means for how you move forward. resources⚡️ other episodes referenced in this episode: 180, 189, 208 ⚡️ autism traits guide — a resource to help you understand diagnostic criteria and recognize patterns across ages and presentations ⚡️ neurodiverse communication masterclass with Dr. Ali — tools and strategies to support communication and connection in your relationship ⚡️ learn more about dr. tay’s whole family approach + clinical services, including booking a free consult call for our adult evaluations in this episode, you’ll hear:why so many parents begin questioning their own neurotype after their child’s diagnosishow this realization often unfolds (and why it doesn’t always happen right away)the likelihood of parents being neurodivergent and why this mattersthe grief that can come with realizing you weren’t supported or accommodated in the same wayhow self-exploration can feel both clarifying and overwhelmingwhere to start if you’re exploring your own neurotype (including self-identification vs evaluation)why understanding diagnostic criteria is key — not just relying on social mediawhy loved ones may resist or struggle to understand this processhow this shift can impact your relationship dynamic and communicationwhy many couples feel more disconnected during this stage and what’s actually happening underneaththe importance of understanding patterns in communication, not just surface-level conflicthow learning new communication tools can support your entire family system timestamps00:00 when the autism journey starts to feel personal 03:12 are parents of autistic kids more likely to be neurodivergent? 05:28 how parents begin exploring their own neurotype 09:25 should you consider an adult autism evaluation? 10:40 what happens when others don’t understand 16:00 why relationships can feel harder after a diagnosis 20:45 how to start improving communication as a couple

    29 min

  5. APR 22

    212 | is this autism? 6 questions parents search (and what actually matters)

    about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇if you’ve ever found yourself googling late at night… “is this autism?” and somehow ended up more confused than when you started — you’re not alone. there’s a lot of information out there. and many time it doesn’t help you actually make sense of what you’re seeing in your child. in this episode, dr. tay breaks down the most common questions parents are searching and why those questions often lead to more confusion instead of clarity. you’ll learn how to move beyond one-off traits and start understanding the patterns that actually matter when it comes to autism so you can feel more confident in what you’re noticing and how to advocate for your child. in this episode, you’ll hear:why googling “is this autism?” often leads to more confusion (not clarity)the difference between a developmental delay vs. autism and when to look deeperhow to think through “is this autism or something else?” (like ADHD, anxiety, or sensory differences)why no single trait can confirm or rule out autismhow autism is identified through patterns, not isolated behaviorswhat to consider when your child seems “fine at school” but struggles at homehow masking and environment can impact what others see (or don’t see)why “wait and see” advice can sometimes delay needed supporthow to trust your instincts, even when others aren’t concernedhow to better articulate what you’re seeing so providers actually listen timestamps00:00 introduction to common parental questions about autism 05:30 is this autism or just a delay? 08:02 is this autism or something else? 11:54 can my child be autistic and still do x, y, and z? 19:29 they’re fine at school, but not at home — could it still be autism? 23:04 doctors say to wait and see — should i? 27:24 am I overreacting or just anxious? resources from today's episode⚡️ autism traits guide — a $7 resource to help you understand diagnostic criteria, recognize patterns, and advocate with clarity keep learning from dr. tay⚡️join EVOLVE the membership and submit your questions for dr. tay to answer ⚡️learn more about dr. tay’s whole family approach + clinical services ⚡️ follow on >> instagram → @the.dr.tay tiktok → @the.dr.tay

    32 min

  6. APR 15

    211 | does my child need supplements? how to support nutrition in autistic kids with Brittyn Coleman

    about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇if your child is a selective eater… you’ve probably wondered: are they getting the nutrients they actually need? and if not, what are you supposed to do about it? in this episode, Dr. Tay welcomes back registered dietitian Brittyn Coleman to break down one of the most common (and confusing) questions parents have: when to consider supplements, what actually matters nutritionally, and how to make informed decisions without getting lost in the noise. because while selective eating is common in autistic kids, we can't ignore the impact it has on their body, regulation, and overall well-being. this conversation will help you understand when to trust your gut, what to look for, and how to approach supplementation in a way that actually supports your child... without overwhelm. ✨ ORDER BEST PART HERE (USE CODE "DRTAY" FOR 10% OFF YOUR FIRST ORDER) ✨ in this episode, you’ll hear:why selective eating is so common in autistic children and how sensory sensitivities play a rolehow limited diets can lead to nutrient gaps, even when kids are growing “normally”a key marker (the “20 food rule”) to help you decide when to seek additional supporthow nutrient deficiencies can impact regulation, energy, and overall functioningwhen supplementation might be helpful and how it fits alongside feeding therapywhy bloodwork can be helpful (but shouldn’t be a barrier to getting started)what to actually look for in a high-quality multivitaminwhy bioavailable nutrients and chelated minerals matter for absorptioncommon pitfalls in supplements (including misleading marketing + hidden ingredients)how to build trust with your child when introducing supplementswhat makes a supplement safe, effective, and worth considering timestamps00:00 understanding nutritional concerns for autistic children 05:51 identifying when to seek help 10:50 the role of supplements in nutrition 14:51 navigating nutritional testing and its challenges 17:02 choosing the right supplements for your child 24:52 navigating supplement labels 28:18 understanding nutrient absorption 31:39 building trust in supplementation 34:13 the importance of third-party testing 36:46 the development of Best Part 41:54 empowering parents in nutrition resources from today's episode⚡️ Use code "DRTAY" to get 10% off of Best Part | sensory-friendly vitamins for kids >> order here. ⚡️ follow Brittyn on Instagram @autismdietitian and Best Part @bestpartkids ⚡️ interested in Brittyn's picky eating membership? learn more here keep learning from Dr. Tay⚡️join EVOLVE the membership and submit your questions for Dr. Tay to answer ⚡️learn more about Dr. Tay’s whole family approach + clinical services ⚡️ follow on >> instagram → @the.dr.tay tiktok → @the.dr.tay

    45 min

  7. APR 8

    210 | confusion isn't the problem in autism parenting. this is...

    about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇feeling confused about what to do next with your child? most parents assume that means they need more information. more strategies. more answers. but what if that’s actually the thing keeping you stuck? in this episode, we’re talking about why confusion isn’t a problem to fix and how constantly searching for more information can actually create more overwhelm. if you’ve been overthinking, second-guessing, or feeling like you should “know more” by now… this episode will help you slow down, reconnect, and find clarity in a completely different way. in this episode, you’ll hear:why confusion doesn’t mean you’re failing and how it can actually guide your next stepshow overconsuming information can keep you stuck in a cycle of overwhelmwhat it looks like to “slow down to speed up” in your parenting decisionshow to ground yourself in what you already know to be true about your childwhy not all autism parenting content is relevant to you at every stagea simple “bucket” framework to help you organize what to focus on now vs laterwhy going deeper (not wider) is often the key to clarityhow to take your next step without needing to have everything figured out timestamps00:00 embracing confusion in parenting 03:44 finding your rhythm: the beat of parenting 06:47 judgment and acceptance in parenting 09:25 navigating information overload 12:25 understanding different stages of parenting 15:10 actionable takeaways for parents 17:49 creating clarity amidst confusion 20:33 building foundations for future growth 24:02 the journey of self-discovery in parenting resources⚡️need support in finding your next best steps? join EVOLVE the membership and submit your questions for dr. tay to answer ⚡️ learn more about dr. tay’s whole family approach + clinical services ⚡️ share your insights from this episode with me >> instagram → @the.dr.tay email → tay@drtaycoaching.com

    30 min

  8. APR 1

    209 | what autism acceptance actually means (and why this month can feel like a lot)

    about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇April is "autism month" and with it comes more conversations, more content, and more opinions. and while that can be incredibly valuable… it can also feel overwhelming. for many parents, this month brings up a mix of emotions: gratitude, frustration, confusion, and sometimes even pressure to feel a certain way about your child’s diagnosis. in this episode, Dr. Tay breaks down what autism acceptance actually means — beyond the surface-level messaging — and why this concept can feel harder than it sounds. you’ll also hear how to navigate the increased noise during this month, protect your own capacity, and begin to define what acceptance looks like in your real, day-to-day parenting. in this episode, you’ll hear:the difference between autism awareness and autism acceptance (and why both still matter)what “acceptance” actually means from a psychological perspective (not just the mainstream definition)why this month can feel overwhelming, overstimulating, or even frustrating for parentshow increased conversations can sometimes lead to conflict, misinformation, or pressurepermission to step back, disconnect, or set boundaries during this monthhow to balance gratitude for awareness with protecting your own nervous systemwhat it looks like to move toward acceptance while still holding space for griefwhy acceptance is not a one-time decision, but an ongoing process in your parenting journeyhow to define what acceptance looks like for you and your family timestamps00:00 understanding autism month: awareness vs. acceptance 09:02 the importance of acceptance in autism 18:09 defining acceptance: beyond the surface 26:51 navigating emotions: acceptance in parenting 34:04 embracing the journey of acceptance resources⚡️ join EVOLVE the membership to have your questions answered and have more in-depth education like you heard in today's episode ⚡️ learn more about dr. tay’s whole family approach + clinical services ⚡️ follow me on instagram → @the.dr.tay tiktok → @the.dr.tay

    37 min
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4.8
out of 5
69 Ratings

About

welcome to a parenting space actually designed for YOU! where you can get answers about navigating a life that includes autism. I’m Dr. Tay, a licensed child psychologist specializing in autism and neuroaffirming care. I have supported 100s of autistic children and their families and have been in the autism field for over a decade. on this podcast, we focus on supporting your autistic child AND your whole family, including you! every topic is on the table, and your questions (which you can submit through my social media) inspire the episodes created. I share some of my personal stories growing up with a brother who was diagnosed at 23 months of age as well as feature other families' stories so you know you are not navigating this journey alone. this is a space for you to be SEEN. HEARD. SUPPORTED. and get reputable and reliable information about autism instead of searching Google endlessly for hours. I am so dang grateful that you are here. ***disclaimer: not clinical advice, for educational purposes only*** subscribe to this podcast by hitting the plus or follow button so you don't miss an episode.

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