EVOLVE with Dr. Tay: the podcast for parents of autistic kids

Dr. Taylor Day
  • 4.8 (69)
  • PARENTING
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

welcome to a parenting space actually designed for YOU! where you can get answers about navigating a life that includes autism. I’m Dr. Tay, a licensed child psychologist specializing in autism and neuroaffirming care. I have supported 100s of autistic children and their families and have been in the autism field for over a decade. on this podcast, we focus on supporting your autistic child AND your whole family, including you! every topic is on the table, and your questions (which you can submit through my social media) inspire the episodes created. I share some of my personal stories growing up with a brother who was diagnosed at 23 months of age as well as feature other families' stories so you know you are not navigating this journey alone. this is a space for you to be SEEN. HEARD. SUPPORTED. and get reputable and reliable information about autism instead of searching Google endlessly for hours. I am so dang grateful that you are here. ***disclaimer: not clinical advice, for educational purposes only*** subscribe to this podcast by hitting the plus or follow button so you don't miss an episode.

  1. 1D AGO

    206 | will an autism diagnosis help or hurt my child?

    is an autism diagnosis actually helpful for your child — or could it hurt them? many parents hesitate to pursue an evaluation because they worry about labels, stigma, or putting their child “in a box.” but avoiding the diagnosis doesn’t change whether your child is autistic. what it changes is how clearly you understand your child and how effectively you can support them. in this episode of EVOLVE with Dr. Tay, we break down both the logistical and emotional realities of autism diagnosis. Dr. Tay explains why a diagnosis can unlock support, provide language for self-understanding, and help families move toward greater acceptance and advocacy while also acknowledging the grief and stigma that can arise along the way. this episode is especially helpful if you’re in the pre-diagnosis stage or if your child was recently diagnosed and you’re still processing what that means for your family. in this episode, you’ll hear:why an autism diagnosis doesn’t change your child and instead gives clarity on how to support themthe logistical benefits of diagnosis, including access to services and support systemshow evaluations create a roadmap for understanding your child’s strengths and support needsthe emotional side of diagnosis, including grief and adjustment for parents and childrenwhy many autistic adults wish they had known their diagnosis earlierhow giving your child language to understand their brain can support self-acceptancehow stigma and ableism influence how families think about diagnosiswhy avoiding the label can unintentionally reinforce shame or confusionhow parents can help shape a neurodiversity-affirming narrative about autism timestamps00:00 understanding autism diagnosis: a parent’s dilemma 06:54 logistical benefits of an autism diagnosis 13:36 emotional aspects of autism diagnosis 19:06 navigating stigma and self-advocacy resources⚡️ learn more about autism evaluations through Dr. Tay Concierge Clinical Care https://drtaylorday.com ⚡️ if your child already has a diagnosis and you’re wondering how to talk with them about it, check out the masterclass inside EVOLVE the membership https://drtaylorday.com/membership ⚡️ continue learning from me >> Instagram @the.dr.tay TikTok @the.dr.tay

    25 min

  2. 6D AGO

    205 | is medication the missing piece? what it can do for your autistic child

    when should medication be part of your child’s support plan? for many parents of autistic kids, medication feels heavy. scary. final. like something you only consider when everything else has failed. but what if medication isn’t a cure-all or a last resort — what if it’s simply one tool in the toolkit? in this episode, Dr. Tay breaks down the nuanced role medication can play in supporting autistic children, especially when dysregulation, capacity, and mental health are limiting your child’s ability to access therapy, accommodations, or even their own joy. this isn’t about quick fixes. it’s about expanding capacity. in this episode, you’ll hear:00:00 introduction to medication support for autistic children 00:27 common misconceptions about medication 00:56 benefits and considerations for medication use 01:23 medication alongside therapeutic approaches 02:16 research insights on medication and behavioral support 03:08 using medication for anxiety and emotional dysregulation 03:33 recognizing when medication might be needed 04:03 indicators of nervous system dysregulation in therapy 05:06 medication as a tool 06:14 understanding stimulant medications (e.g., adderall, ritalin) 06:43 the “capacity cup” metaphor 07:38 teaching internal regulation alongside medication 09:28 anxiety management and exposure-based therapies 10:39 environmental stressors and medication’s role 12:29 medication optimization and careful dosing 13:20 addressing fears about personality loss and side effects 14:42 weighing risks and benefits to improve quality of life 15:31 advocacy tips for working with prescribing providers 16:42 invitation to medication consideration masterclass 17:11 closing remarks resources⚡️ episodes referenced include 94 and 139 with Dr. Arielle Rubin and 177 with Dr. Stacy Greeter ⚡️ medication consideration masterclass (inside EVOLVE the membership): join here >> https://drtaylorday.com/membership ⚡️ learn more about Dr. Tay’s Whole Family Approach + clinical services: https://drtaylorday.com

    19 min

  3. FEB 26

    204 | am I doing too much... or not enough?

    are you constantly wondering if you’re doing too much… or not enough… for your autistic child? in autism parenting, it can feel like every decision is high stakes. you hear “lower demands.” you hear “do exposure.” you hear “presume competence.” you hear autistic voices sharing lived experience. and somehow, you’re still left wondering what actually applies to your child. this episode won’t give you a black-and-white formula. but it will help you understand how to think through this question in a grounded, regulated way — and how to navigate the tension between accommodation and over accommodation without swinging to extremes. in this episode, you’ll hear:why nothing in autism parenting is black and whitehow to filter research, professional advice, and autistic voiceswhat accommodation vs overaccommodation actually meanswhy overaccommodating anxiety can unintentionally reinforce ithow “low demand” can slide into eggshell parentingwhen to gently peel back support to presume competencehow to use trial and error without turning it into self-blame timestamps00:00 the importance of nuance in autism parenting 03:05 navigating accommodation vs over accommodation 11:29 understanding exposure therapy and its nuances 16:08 balancing structure and flexibility in parenting 23:08 empowering autonomy and self-advocacy in children resources⚡️ join EVOLVE the membership and be live for the upcoming masterclass on this topic (March 2026) ⚡️ learn more about dr. tay’s whole family approach + clinical services ⚡️ follow me on instagram → @the.dr.tay tiktok → @the.dr.tay

    27 min

  4. FEB 11

    203 | from shame to strategy: rethinking screen time with Ash Brandin

    ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇 screen time doesn’t have to be all or nothing. in this episode, Dr. Tay sits down with Ash Brandin, @thegamereducator and author of Power On, to talk about balancing technology in a way that feels realistic, empowering, and aligned with your child’s brain, especially in neurodivergent children. this conversation moves beyond fear-based messaging and into nuance — exploring regulation, accommodations, executive functioning, transitions, and digital safety through a neurodiversity-affirming lens. in this episode:why screen time is morally neutral and why that mattershow video games can support executive functioning and skill buildingusing screen time as data about how your child’s brain workswhy some content is more dysregulating than otherspractical strategies for transitions off screenshow to scaffold digital safety over time timestamps00:00 introduction and today’s topic: screen time and technology 00:37 meet Ash Brandin 02:47 Ash’s journey to educating parents on technology 04:50 the importance of neutrality in technology use 06:10 balancing screen time: practical tips and insights 18:18 teaching technology skills: a lifelong approach 22:40 the benefits of screen time for autistic children 25:15 video games as accommodating environments 27:22 observing and learning from kids’ screen time 27:44 addressing hesitancy in using accommodations 29:58 engaging with kids through screen time 30:40 the importance of digital safety 31:48 exploring the book’s structure and key concepts 32:13 understanding access, behavior, and content in screen time 36:28 strategies for managing screen time transitions 40:04 final thoughts and resources RESOURCES ⚡️ follow Ash on Instagram and on Substack ⚡️ order Power On: Managing Screen Time to Benefit the Whole Family ⚡️ join EVOLVE: The Membership — a neurodiversity-affirming space for parents to find community, support, and ongoing learning. dive into the included masterclass to dive deeper into navigating screen time and its benefits for autistic kids ⚡️ learn more about Dr. Tay’s Whole Family Approach + current services at drtaylorday.com ⚡️ continue learning + submit questions for future episodes: Instagram → @the.dr.tay TikTok → @the.dr.tay

    47 min

  5. FEB 4

    202 | a live coaching session on grief, acceptance, and trusting yourself as an autism parent

    ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇 in this special episode, Dr. Tay shares a live coaching session with Winter, a mom of a 6-year-old autistic boy. listeners are invited inside a real, unscripted coaching conversation — one that mirrors the questions, emotions, and uncertainty so many parents carry quietly. together, Dr. Tay and Winter explore what it’s like to sit with grief and acceptance at the same time, to question whether current supports are actually helping, and to feel the pressure to “do enough” while also wanting space to breathe. Dr. Tay helps Winter slow things down, name what’s coming up beneath the urgency, and reflect on what alignment, confidence, and quality of life could look like for her family. this episode offers a window into how parent coaching can help you: feel less alone in the emotional weight of an autism diagnosisuntangle urgency from what truly matters right nowexperiment with supports without shame or fear of “getting it wrong”build confidence in your instincts as your child’s parentreconnect with yourself while still showing up for your child if you’ve ever wondered what parent coaching actually sounds like — or wished for a space to talk things through out loud with someone who truly gets it — this episode is for you. TIMESTAMPS 00:00 introduction and episode overview 00:06 meet winter and her journey 02:52 navigating early diagnosis and initial support 04:02 challenges, grief, and emotional struggles 11:57 finding the right support and community 20:30 navigating autism as a first-time parent 20:43 the pressure of early intervention 21:53 the impact of how diagnoses are delivered 23:04 support systems and clinical care 23:47 parenting with confidence and love 27:09 concerns about the future 33:33 advocating for disability needs in public spaces 37:25 building community and self-advocacy 39:54 closing reflections and resources RESOURCES ⚡️ Connect with Winter @aspectrumfueledpurpose ⚡️ Join EVOLVE: The Membership — a neurodiversity-affirming space for parents to find community, support, and ongoing learning on this journey, with the option to add on a 1:1 coaching session like this ⚡️ Learn more about Dr. Tay’s Whole Family Approach + other services at drtaylorday.com ⚡️ Continue learning + submit questions for future episodes: Instagram → @the.dr.tay TikTok → @the.dr.tay

    41 min

  6. JAN 30

    201 | when an autism diagnosis brings more questions than answers

    ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇 if you’ve recently received an autism diagnosis — or you’re pretty sure one is coming — this episode is for you. many parents expect to feel relief after a diagnosis. sometimes that happens briefly. but more often, things actually feel heavier, more confusing, and more urgent. in this episode, Dr. Tay breaks down why that happens, names the “trap of urgency” so many families fall into, and explains what actually helps in this early post-diagnosis phase. want more support? the You Got The Diagnosis. Now What? program was designed for you! a four-week, neurodiversity-affirming program designed to support families in the space between diagnosis and action — focused on clarity, self-trust, and sustainable next steps. LEARN MORE HERE: https://drtay.thrivecart.com/you-got-the-diagnosis-now-what CHAPTERS 00:00 navigating the autism diagnosis journey 02:26 understanding why diagnosis can create more questions 12:41 clarity over urgency: slowing down without falling behind 23:59 introducing support for families in the post-diagnosis phase RESOURCES ⚡️ learn more about Dr. Tay’s Whole Family Approach and other services https://drtaylorday.com ⚡️ continue learning from me >> Instagram @the.dr.tay TikTok @the.dr.tay

    31 min

  7. JAN 29

    200 | celebrating 200 episodes: values, visibility, and coming back after the pause

    ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇 this episode marks a big milestone — 200 episodes — and a very human return after an unplanned pause. Dr. Tay shares openly about what led to stepping back, including grief, perfectionism, and the pressure she felt to make the “right” episode for this moment. from there, the conversation widens into something deeper: how personal values, neurodiversity-affirming care, and what’s happening in our country are deeply intertwined. this is an episode about alignment — as a parent, as a clinician, and as a human — and why staying silent doesn’t feel like an option when your values are at stake. CHAPTERS 00:00 return from hiatus and celebrating 200 episodes 05:48 navigating personal challenges, caregiving, and grief 12:19 the intersection of personal beliefs and professional practice 20:37 the importance of human connection in parenting 26:23 values, advocacy, and human rights 33:05 core values in clinical practice 36:38 affirming neurodivergence through collaboration 40:15 integrity, repair, and whole-family healing 44:00 living in alignment with your values 49:43 reflecting on privilege and responsibility in advocacy RESOURCES ⚡️ join EVOLVE the membership: a space for questions, community, and neurodiversity-affirming guidance https://drtaylorday.com/membership ⚡️ learn more about Dr. Tay’s Whole Family Approach and current services https://drtaylorday.com ⚡️ continue learning from me >> Instagram @the.dr.tay TikTok @the.dr.tay

    52 min

  8. 11/13/2025

    199 | should my autistic child do a social skills group?

    this week’s episode was inspired directly by a diagnostic feedback session inside dr. tay’s clinical practice. one parent asked a question that so many others wonder:   “should i be teaching social skills to my autistic child… and if so, how?”   in this episode, dr. tay breaks down why traditional social skills approaches often miss the mark, how they can unintentionally promote masking, and what a neurodiversity-affirming approach looks like instead.   you’ll learn:   why “social skills” often = neurotypical normswhat actually helps autistic kids build authentic connectionpractical ways to support social growth at home, without scripts or forcinghow to understand what your child needs based on their motivation, interests, and neurotype   TIMESTAMPS 00:00 introduction and episode inspiration 00:21 diagnostic feedback and recommendations 01:57 therapeutic approaches and parent coaching 04:34 addressing social skills in autistic children 05:52 neurodiversity affirming approaches 08:00 practical strategies and role-playing 12:04 real-life situations and empathy building 16:16 parental involvement and social skills groups 23:03 conclusion and next steps     RESOURCES ⚡️need more support navigating this? Join EVOLVE the membership — a neurodiversity-affirming space to ask YOUR questions. ⚡️ learn more about Dr. Tay’s Whole Family Approach + current services, including her small group therapy model, at drtaylorday.com ⚡️ keep learning Instagram → @the.dr.tay TikTok → @the.dr.tay

    27 min
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4.8
out of 5
69 Ratings

About

welcome to a parenting space actually designed for YOU! where you can get answers about navigating a life that includes autism. I’m Dr. Tay, a licensed child psychologist specializing in autism and neuroaffirming care. I have supported 100s of autistic children and their families and have been in the autism field for over a decade. on this podcast, we focus on supporting your autistic child AND your whole family, including you! every topic is on the table, and your questions (which you can submit through my social media) inspire the episodes created. I share some of my personal stories growing up with a brother who was diagnosed at 23 months of age as well as feature other families' stories so you know you are not navigating this journey alone. this is a space for you to be SEEN. HEARD. SUPPORTED. and get reputable and reliable information about autism instead of searching Google endlessly for hours. I am so dang grateful that you are here. ***disclaimer: not clinical advice, for educational purposes only*** subscribe to this podcast by hitting the plus or follow button so you don't miss an episode.

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