I Love You, Too

Relationship Center
  • 4.9 (29)
  • RELATIONSHIPS
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Research indicates that relationships are the key to living a happy, long life. But healthy relationships aren’t always easy to build, particularly if you’re shy, anxious, or still reeling from past hurts. Join psychotherapist, couples counselor, and dating coach, Jessica Engle, and professional certified coach, Josh Van Vliet, on “I Love You, Too,” a show all about how to build and sustain meaningful relationships. Josh and Jessica, a real-life couple, will share evidence-based yet heart-filled techniques to help you find love, friendship, and the community you crave.

  1. FEB 10

    Late-in-Life Virgin? How to Date, Disclose, and Ditch the Shame

    Dear Listener, are you a late-in-life virgin feeling broken, behind, or like something is fundamentally wrong with you? Do you avoid dating altogether because you dread the moment you'd have to disclose your virginity? If virgin shame is keeping you stuck in isolation — and making partnered sex that much less likely — you’re in the right place. In this episode, we welcome back Relationship Center psychotherapist and sex therapist Cat Fillmore to explore how to date as a virgin with confidence, self-compassion, and hope. Cat starts by reframing the conversation entirely: What does "virgin" even mean, and who decided? She challenges the narrow definition most of us inherited and invites us toward something more liberating. From there, we dive into practical late bloomer dating advice. Cat explains why the skills that make for great sex aren't actually about experience—and how you can start developing them right now. She shares a "yes, no, maybe" framework for building confidence with boundaries, an essential part of pleasurable sex. We also tackle the big question: should I tell them I'm a virgin, and when? Cat explains how to recognize when someone has earned the honor of your vulnerability—and what to look for before you share. Finally, Cat offers a reality check for anyone struggling to overcome virgin stigma. Spoiler alert: The data might surprise you—you're far from alone as a late bloomer. If shame has been keeping you on the sidelines, this episode offers a compassionate, empowering path forward. Key Takeaways 00:00 Intro 01:30 What does it even mean to be a virgin? 07:38 How do I date as a late-in-life virgin? 18:31 Should I tell my date I'm a virgin—and when? 30:14 How do I stop feeling broken or behind as a late-in-life virgin? Have a question or comment? Email us at podcast@relationshipcenter.com. We love hearing from you! If you’d like to work with one of the talented clinicians on our team (including Cat!), go to relationshipcenter.com/apply-now to apply for a free 30-minute consultation. To get a monthly email with our best content, go to relationshipcenter.com/newsletter. If something in this episode touched you, will you share it with a friend? That helps us reach more sweet humans like you. Lastly, we’d love it if you would leave us a rating and review wherever you listen to podcasts. And be sure to hit subscribe while you’re there so you never miss an episode!

    35 min

  2. JAN 13

    Date-Me Docs: What They Are, Why They Work, and How to Write One

    Dear Listener, are you exhausted by the endless swipe-and-scroll cycle of dating apps? Do you wish potential matches could get to know the real you—not just a few photos and a character-limited bio? Well then, I’d like you to meet my friend, Date-Me Doc. Date-Me Docs are standalone documents (typically housed in Google Docs or Notion) that live outside dating apps and give you space to share who you truly are, what you're looking for, and why you'd make a great partner. But here's the twist: we believe creating a Date-Me Doc is valuable even if you never share it with anyone. Why? Because the process forces you to get crystal clear on what you want—and as we like to say, love favors the clear-sighted. That clarity will serve you whether you're swiping on Hinge, chatting someone up at a coffee shop, or asking friends to set you up. In this episode, we walk you through our recommended structure, how to use photos effectively, why vulnerability attracts (not repels!) the right people, and how to share your Date-Me Doc with cuties you meet in real life (Josh even role-plays it for you!). If you're craving a slower, more intentional approach to dating—one focused on depth over dopamine—this episode is for you. Key Takeaways 00:00 Introduction and Overview 01:21 What is a Date-Me Doc? 05:21 Why should you create a Date-Me doc? 15:45 How to write a Date-Me Doc 22:22 Crafting Your Unique 'Me' Section 26:19 Describing Your Ideal Partner in the 'You' Section 29:29 Creating the 'We' Section and Final Tips Resources and links Tired of Dating Apps, Some Turn to ‘Date-Me Docs’ - NY Times Date Me Directory Date-Me Doc Template Ep. 15 - Online Dating 102: Perfecting Your Profile & Photos Ep. 2 - What to look for in a long-term partner Downloadable Guide: What to look for in a long-term partner Have a question or comment? Email us at podcast@relationshipcenter.com. We love hearing from you! If you’d like to work with one of the talented clinicians on our team, go to relationshipcenter.com/apply-now to apply for a free 30-minute consultation. To get a monthly email with our best content, go to relationshipcenter.com/newsletter. If something in this episode touched you, will you share it with a friend? That helps us reach more sweet humans like you. Lastly, we’d love it if you would leave us a rating and review wherever you listen to podcasts. And be sure to hit subscribe while you’re there so you never miss an episode!

    40 min

  3. 12/09/2025

    Are You Too Picky—or Is It ROCD?

    Dear Listener, are you stuck in singleness limbo—eternally swiping and messaging? Do you rarely get past dates one or two, and never into a long-term relationship? Does it seem like you almost never meet someone who feels unquestionably right for you? What if the thing keeping you single isn’t your profile, lack of dating skills, or bad luck, but your brain running scared from doubt? In this episode, we explore an oft-missed culprit for chronic singledom: Relationship OCD (ROCD). We sit down with Relationship Center psychotherapist, sex therapist, and dating coach Cat Fillmore to unpack how this misunderstood form of OCD can quietly sabotage your dating life. Cat explains what ROCD actually is (spoiler: it’s not just “being picky”) and how it shows up as an obsessional cycle: a trigger, an intrusive thought (“Do I really like them enough?”), spiraling meaning-making, intense anxiety, and then compulsions like endless Googling, reassurance-seeking from friends, or constant “checking” of your feelings. You’ll hear how ROCD can lead people to swipe endlessly, dismiss promising matches over tiny details, or cut things off after 1–3 dates because the connection doesn’t feel perfectly “just right.” Cat also shares how to tell the difference between ordinary dating anxiety and ROCD, why self-diagnosing is tricky, and why working with an OCD-informed therapist matters. Most importantly, Cat offers hope: ROCD is highly treatable—often with Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP)—and you can learn to live with doubt, date more freely, and build real, lasting love. If fear about the “what ifs” of a relationship makes dating feel painful or pointless, this episode is for you. Key Takeaways 00:00 - Intro 03:01 - What is Relationship OCD? 09:28 - What are some of the signs ROCD might be sabotaging your dating life? 23:13 - Can can someone with ROCD find lasting love? How? Resources and links For full show notes with links, visit relationshipcenter.com/podcast Have a question or comment? Email us at podcast@relationshipcenter.com. We love hearing from you! If you’d like to work with one of the talented clinicians on our team, go to relationshipcenter.com/apply-now to apply for a free 30-minute consultation. To get a monthly email with our best content, go to relationshipcenter.com/newsletter. If something in this episode touched you, will you share it with a friend? That helps us reach more sweet humans like you. Lastly, we’d love it if you would leave us a rating and review wherever you listen to podcasts. And be sure to hit subscribe while you’re there so you never miss an episode!

    41 min

  4. 12/05/2025

    We’re Back! Big Dating & Relationship Conversations Coming Your Way

    Dear Listener, we’re back! In this short note, we pop in to say hello, share what we’ve been cooking up, and let you know what’s coming next on I Love You Too. Think: Date-Me Docs, crafting a clear relationship vision, and juicy interviews—including a deep dive with Cat Fillmore on one of the most overlooked reasons people stay chronically single. If you’ve missed us, the feeling is mutual. Subscribe, send us your questions, and buckle up for a very relationship-nerdy season ahead. Have a question or comment? Email us at podcast@relationshipcenter.com. We love hearing from you! If you’d like to work with one of the talented clinicians on our team, go to relationshipcenter.com/apply-now to apply for a free 30-minute consultation. To get a monthly email with our best content, go to relationshipcenter.com/newsletter.

    2 min

  5. 03/11/2025 · BONUS

    Announcing big life changes! Plus, what to expect from the show in 2025.

    Dear Listener, we have some exciting updates—and a big life change—to share! In this special episode, we’re pulling back the curtain on what’s ahead for the podcast, our work at The Relationship Center, and our family! We’re excited to share some personal and professional changes that will dramatically shape what we’re up to in 2025, including temporarily pressing “pause” on creating new episodes. Don’t worry – while we’re tending to the exciting happenings behind the scenes, there are many ways you can connect with us, whether through our past episodes, blog content, or working with us directly via therapy or coaching. If you’ve been thinking about deepening your relationship skills or getting dating support, now’s the perfect time to explore what we offer. Plus, we take a moment to reflect on our recent big life changes and how they might encourage you if you feel down about your relationship prospects. Tune in for all the details—we promise, this is an update you won’t want to miss! We’ll miss you during our brief pause, Dear Listener, but we’d love to hear from you! Send us your questions, thoughts, and encouragement to podcast@relationshipcenter.com.   We’ll be back before you know it. Until then, we love you too! Resources and links If you’d like to work with one of us or another talented clinician on our team, go to relationshipcenter.com/apply-now to apply for a free 30-minute consultation. If you’d like to learn more about intensives, check out our brochure here: https://relationshipcenter.com/s/Intensives-Brochure.pdf To get a monthly email with our best content, go to relationshipcenter.com/newsletter. For more podcast episodes, visit https://relationshipcenter.com/podcast For more written content, check out our blog: https://relationshipcenter.com/blog

    10 min

  6. 02/11/2025

    (Rebroadcast) How pacing can help you find love that lasts

    Do your relationships tend to develop at a romantic comedy pace, only to get messy fast and fall apart dramatically? If you’ve struggled to find sustainable, lasting love, then this episode is for you. Learn about common pacing pitfalls that prevent couples from building stable partnerships, including red flags such as love bombing, how pacing can help you work skillfully with the “addiction” of love, and what to do when your pacing doesn’t match your partner’s. Key Takeaways 00:00 - Intro 02:38 - What is pacing in dating? And why should we care? 19:23 - How can we pace the development of a new relationship for long-term success? 36:43 - What are signs that pacing is off in a new relationship? 50:11 - What if your pacing doesn’t match your partner’s pacing? Resources and links For full show notes with links, visit relationshipcenter.com/podcast Ep. 1 - You Aren’t Crazy, Dating is Hard (Especially for Anxious Folx) Ep. 2 - What to look for in a long-term partner Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by John Gottman Ph.D., Julie Schwartz Gottman Ph.D., Doug Abrams,  and Rachel Carlton Abrams M.D. Natalie Lue’s blog Baggage Reclaim 🤓 Prefer to read rather than listen? Check out Ep. 4 - How pacing can help you find love that lasts for a full blog post. Have a question or comment? Email us at podcast@relationshipcenter.com. We love hearing from you! If you’d like to work with one of the talented clinicians on our team, go to relationshipcenter.com/apply-now to apply for a free 30-minute consultation. To get a monthly email with our best content, go to relationshipcenter.com/newsletter. If something in this episode touched you, will you share it with a friend? That helps us reach more sweet humans like you. Lastly, we’d love it if you would leave us a rating and review wherever you listen to podcasts. And be sure to hit subscribe while you’re there so you never miss an episode!

    56 min

  7. 01/14/2025

    (Rebroadcast) What to look for in a long-term partner

    What makes a good long-term partner, according to science? And why is it important to be mindful when we are choosing who to settle down with? In this episode, we dig into the research about what to look for and — equally important — what not to look for in a long-term partner. Plus, how do you clarify what you need in a partner? How can you differentiate between dealbreakers and “nice-to-haves” so that you can more effectively date? Key Takeaways 00:00:00 - Intro and episode overview 00:02:42 - Why be mindful of who we choose as a long-term partner? 00:06:14 - What science says about what makes a good long-term partner 00:25:19 - What doesn’t make someone a good partner, according to research 00:51:21 - How to clarify what you need in a partner 01:04:40 - How to clarify what you want vs. what you need Resources Mentioned For full show notes with links, visit relationshipcenter.com/podcast Downloadable Guide: What to look for in a long-term partner (includes the Relationship Inventory and the Ideal Mate Exercise) Warren Buffett says the most important decision you’ll ever make has nothing to do with your money or career Study from Tel Aviv: Dissatisfaction with Married Life in Men Is Related to Increased Stroke and All-Cause Mortality Harvard Study of Adult Development Plays Well with Others: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Relationships Is (Mostly) Wrong, By Eric Barker The Gottman Institute How to Not Die Alone, by Logan Ury Deeper Dating, by Ken Page People Are Dating All Wrong, According to Data Science Have a question or comment? Email us at podcast@relationshipcenter.com. We love hearing from you! If you’d like to work with one of the talented clinicians on our team, go to relationshipcenter.com/apply-now to apply for a free 30-minute consultation. To get a monthly email with our best content, go to relationshipcenter.com/newsletter. If something in this episode touched you, will you share it with a friend? That helps us reach more sweet humans like you. Lastly, we’d love it if you would leave us a rating and review wherever you listen to podcasts. And be sure to hit subscribe while you’re there so you never miss an episode!

    1h 15m

  8. 12/10/2024

    Dating Skills Series (4 of 4)- Neurodivergent Skills

    Dear Listener, welcome to the final episode of our Dating Skills Series! In this installment, we focus on neurodivergent dating skills, offering insights into how autistics, ADHDers, highly sensitive people, and otherwise neurodivergent people may express affection, flirt, and show romantic interest. Whether you’re neurodivergent and struggling with dating, or a neurotypical crushing on a neurodivergent cutie, this episode is packed with valuable information. Join us as we explore key neurodivergent dating skills, including: 1. Story Swapping: Understand how neurodivergent individuals might share stories to connect and show empathy. 2. Managing Stimulation: Learn strategies for adjusting the sensory environment on dates to feel more comfortable and present. 3. Cooperative Overlap: Discover how some neurodivergent people may interrupt out of enthusiasm, showing they’re engaged in the conversation. 4. Info Dumping: Find out why delving into a favorite topic deeply can be a sign of interest and connection. 5. Focus on Verbal Communication: Explore why direct language and less emphasis on tone or nonverbal cues might be the norm in neurodivergent communication. We also delve into how autistic people might express romantic love, the role of noncompliance as an adaptive skill, and the importance of creating authentic connections without masking. By the end of this episode, you’ll gain a deeper appreciation of neurodivergent dating skills and practical strategies for building meaningful relationships. Tune in and learn how to connect with your neurodivergent date in ways that honor their unique communication style (and fight ableism, too, yay!). Key Takeaways 00:00 - Intro 01:33 - Understanding Neurodivergence 04:31 - Why learn neurodivergent dating skills? 13:24 - #1: Story swapping 15:58 - #2: Manage Stimulation on Dates 20:17 - #3: Cooperative Overlap 24:26 - #4: Info dumping about special interests 27:00 - #5: Focus on verbal communication 29:23 - #6: Honest and direct language 31:02 - #7: Focus on meaning of words 34:02 - #8: Skip the small talk 35:42 - #9: Ask lots of questions in pursuit of accuracy 38:08 - #10: Parallel play 40:14 - #11: Non-compliance 43:08 - Recap Resources and links For full show notes with links, visit relationshipcenter.com/podcast Embrace Autism Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity, By Devon Price, PhD Neurowild Have a question or comment? Email us at podcast@relationshipcenter.com. We love hearing from you! If you’d like to work with one of the talented clinicians on our team, go to relationshipcenter.com/apply-now to apply for a free 30-minute consultation. To get a monthly email with our best content, go to relationshipcenter.com/newsletter. If something in this episode touched you, will you share it with a friend? That helps us reach more sweet humans like you. Lastly, we’d love it if you would leave us a rating and...

    47 min
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Research indicates that relationships are the key to living a happy, long life. But healthy relationships aren’t always easy to build, particularly if you’re shy, anxious, or still reeling from past hurts. Join psychotherapist, couples counselor, and dating coach, Jessica Engle, and professional certified coach, Josh Van Vliet, on “I Love You, Too,” a show all about how to build and sustain meaningful relationships. Josh and Jessica, a real-life couple, will share evidence-based yet heart-filled techniques to help you find love, friendship, and the community you crave.

Information

  • Creator
    Relationship Center
  • Years Active
    2022 - 2026
  • Episodes
    37
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2026 Relationship Center
  • Show Website
    I Love You, Too

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