The Centered Midlife: Reclaiming Our Worth From The Inside Out

Dr. Natalie Marr, Clinical Psychologist and Midlife Expert
  • 5.0 (6)
  • SOCIETY & CULTURE
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

For too long, women in midlife have been the shock absorbers for their families and careers, leaving themselves last on the list. But what if the "Crisis" is actually an invitation? Join Clinical Psychologist Dr. Natalie as she helps you navigate the midlife transition with humor, heart, and science to help you shift from external validation to internal peace. The Centered Midlife is your weekly guide to unlearning the "shoulds," healing perfectionism, and reclaiming your worth. You don’t need to fix yourself; you just need to find yourself again.

  1. 6H AGO

    The Hidden Trauma of Midlife: How Childhood Shapes Your Stress Resilience

    Summary Dr. Natalie explores the intersection of midlife challenges, hormonal changes, and childhood trauma, emphasizing that women's struggles are often systemic and not personal failures. She discusses how hormonal shifts affect stress resilience and the importance of inner work and therapy to achieve a centered midlife. Keywords midlife, hormonal changes, childhood trauma, stress resilience, inner child work, therapy, estrogen, progesterone, systemic issues, personal growth Key topics Hormonal changes in midlife and their impact on stress resilienceThe role of childhood trauma in adult midlife strugglesInner child work and shadow work as tools for healingSystemic societal expectations and their effects on women in midlife Key frameworks Inner Child WorkShadow WorkCore Belief Systems Action items Seek therapy to unpack childhood traumaConsider hormone therapy with medical guidanceSet boundaries to protect your mental healthPrioritize love and acceptance of your current life Sound bites "Childhood trauma can resurface in midlife." "Love your life right now, all of it." "This was never your fault." Chapters 00:00 The Burden of Expectations on Women 13:18 Childhood Trauma and Its Resurgence in Midlife 19:07 Introduction and Disclaimer 20:43 Crisis Resources and Support Midlife/Trauma Resources: Therapy for Trauma and Inner Child Work - https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapistsHormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) - https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/hormone-replacement-therapyUnderstanding Perimenopause and Menopause - https://www.womenshealth.gov/menopauseResources & Links to Connect with Dr. Natalie:Website: ⁠⁠https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Facebook: ⁠facebook.com/learntoloveyourstory⁠⁠Instagram:⁠⁠ instagram.com/dr.nataliemarr⁠⁠Linked In: ⁠⁠linkedin.com/in/natalie-m-marr-psy-d-lp-6a9298147⁠⁠Tik Tok: ⁠⁠tiktok.com/@doc.natalie⁠⁠DISCLAIMER: The content in this podcast and video is not a replacement for therapy and is not clinical, medical, or mental health treatment. Dr. Natalie Marr is a Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota. Her work with ⁠⁠(⁠⁠⁠⁠https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠)⁠, ⁠(⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://NatalieMarrCounseling.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠),⁠ and all affiliate social media entities is educational and coaching based ONLY. She IS NOT offering therapeutic services of any kind on these mediums. If you or someone you know is having a mental health crisis or having thoughts of suicide, please use the following crisis resources (this is not an exhaustive list of available resources):National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org⁠/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ CALL 988Crisis Text Line: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.crisistextline.org/⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Text HOME to 741741

    21 min

  2. MAR 5

    Why Burning Out at 50 Is More About Brain Habits Than Age — And How to Change It

    Summary In this conversation, Dr. Natalie reflects on her journey through midlife, particularly focusing on the challenges of perimenopause and the emotional turmoil that often accompanies it. She discusses the importance of letting go of societal expectations and the pressure to conform, emphasizing the need for self-acceptance and compassion. Dr. Natalie also explores the concept of procedural memory and how our ingrained habits can shape our perceptions and emotional responses. Ultimately, she encourages listeners to redefine their narratives and embrace a centered midlife, free from the burdens of self-judgment and societal standards. Episode 117: Expert Advice on Addressing the #1 Symptom in Perimenopause: https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/y7WjcCkjf1b or https://youtu.be/GFTFQGbN1rg Keywords: midlife, perimenopause, self-acceptance, emotional health, procedural memory, self-compassion, personal growth, women empowerment, mental health, life transitions Takeaways Turning 50 can be a liberating experience.It's important to decide what truly matters to us.Perimenopause can bring significant emotional challenges.Irritability is a common symptom of hormonal changes.95% of our thoughts and behaviors are pre-programmed.We can reprogram our thoughts to be more compassionate.Self-acceptance is crucial for mental well-being.We often hold ourselves to unrealistic standards.It's essential to shift our narratives about ourselves.You are not broken; you are a work in progress. Sound bites "I was waking up that way." "Tell yourself a new story." "You are not broken." Chapters 00:00 Embracing Midlife: A New Perspective 06:35 Reprogramming the Mind: Breaking Free from Old Habits 12:20 Redefining Self-Worth: A Journey to Centered MidlifeResources & Links to Connect with Dr. Natalie:Website: ⁠⁠https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Facebook: ⁠facebook.com/learntoloveyourstory⁠⁠Instagram:⁠⁠ instagram.com/dr.nataliemarr⁠⁠Linked In: ⁠⁠linkedin.com/in/natalie-m-marr-psy-d-lp-6a9298147⁠⁠Tik Tok: ⁠⁠tiktok.com/@doc.natalie⁠⁠DISCLAIMER: The content in this podcast and video is not a replacement for therapy and is not clinical, medical, or mental health treatment. Dr. Natalie Marr is a Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota. Her work with ⁠⁠(⁠⁠⁠https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠)⁠, ⁠(⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://NatalieMarrCounseling.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠),⁠ and all affiliate social media entities is educational and coaching based ONLY. She IS NOT offering therapeutic services of any kind on these mediums. If you or someone you know is having a mental health crisis or having thoughts of suicide, please use the following crisis resources (this is not an exhaustive list of available resources):National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org⁠/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ CALL 988Crisis Text Line: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.crisistextline.org/⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Text HOME to 741741

    25 min

  3. FEB 18

    The Exhaustion of Midlife is Real

    Summary In this conversation, Dr. Natalie discusses the challenges women face during midlife, particularly around wellness shaming, hormonal changes, and the pressure to conform to societal expectations. She emphasizes the importance of introspection and listening to one's body rather than relying solely on external validation and wellness culture. Dr. Natalie encourages women to embrace their individuality and build self-worth from within, acknowledging that it's okay to make mistakes along the way. Takeaways The exhaustion women feel in midlife is real and valid.Hormonal changes can create chaos in our bodies, similar to adolescence.Habit formation is challenging, especially when trying to adapt to new life phases.Introspection is crucial; we should listen to our bodies rather than just external advice.Wellness culture often exploits women's insecurities for profit.It's important to recognize that each woman's experience is unique.Building self-worth from within is essential for navigating midlife.It's okay to not have all the answers about what your body needs.Listening to your body can lead to better health outcomes than following external advice.You are not broken; you are evolving. Keywords midlife, wellness, hormones, introspection, self-worth, health, women, perimenopause, wellness culture, body positivity Sound bites "The exhaustion is real." "It's okay to mess it up." "You are not broken." Chapters 00:00 The Pressure of Midlife Wellness 06:18 The Challenge of Habit Formation 11:38 Critique of Wellness Culture 21:00 Embracing Your Inner Expert Resources & Links: Connect with Dr. Natalie:Website ⁠https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠ ⁠ Facebook ⁠facebook.com/learntoloveyourstory⁠ Instagram⁠ instagram.com/dr.nataliemarr⁠ Linked In ⁠linkedin.com/in/natalie-m-marr-psy-d-lp-6a9298147⁠ Tik Tok ⁠tiktok.com/@doc.natalie⁠ DISCLAIMER: The content in this podcast and video is not a replacement for therapy and is not clinical, medical, or mental health treatment. Dr. Natalie Marr is a Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota. Her work with ⁠⁠(⁠⁠https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠)⁠, ⁠(⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://NatalieMarrCounseling.com⁠⁠⁠⁠),⁠ and all affiliate social media entities is educational and coaching based ONLY. She IS NOT offering therapeutic services of any kind on these mediums. If you or someone you know is having a mental health crisis or having thoughts of suicide, please use the following crisis resources (this is not an exhaustive list of available resources): National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org⁠/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ CALL 988 Crisis Text Line: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.crisistextline.org/⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Text HOME to 741741

    24 min

  4. FEB 5

    What to Let Go of in Midlife

    In this heartfelt episode, Dr. Natalie addresses midlife women feeling overwhelmed by the pressure to fix and manage everything alone. She offers insight into how hyper-independence and the fear of abandonment can contribute to burnout and midlife struggles—and most importantly, how self-love can help rewrite these patterns. Key Topics: The emotional toll of hyper-independence in midlife womenThe neurochemistry of pursuit and addiction to dopamine hitsChildhood experiences shaping adult patterns of fixing and pleasingRecognizing and interrupting the spiral of justification and validationThe importance of self-love as an antidote to burnout and scarcity mindsetHow fear of abandonment fuels hyper-independencePractical steps to love yourself through mistakes and vulnerabilitiesMoving away from rescuing everyone and focusing on personal peaceTimestamps:00:00 - Addressing hyper-independent women in midlife02:09 - The neurochemical roots of pursuit and addiction to dopamine03:34 - How the chase reinforces the cycle of burnout04:33 - Personal stories of controlling or fixing others05:58 - Childhood patterns influencing adult need for approval06:53 - Recognizing the spiral of justifying and validating08:22 - The pain of not being liked or validated09:04 - The risks of over-investment in work and relationships10:30 - How derailments in pursuit reveal deeper patterns11:56 - The spiral of self-justification in times of stress13:20 - The link between childhood chaos and adult control issues14:19 - Self-love as the key to breaking free from cycles16:41 - The importance of loving yourself despite mistakes19:34 - Understanding the fear of rejection and scarcity mindset20:03 - Letting go of blame and the need for approval21:01 - Managing relationships without spiraling into chaos22:24 - Embracing age and experience for self-compassion23:21 - The power of loving your story, including dysfunction24:19 - Sharing this message with other midlife women25:17 - Letting go of the cycle of justification and abandonment fears26:15 - Finding peace and building inner self-worth Resources & Links: Connect with Dr. Natalie:Website https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠ Facebook facebook.com/learntoloveyourstory Instagram instagram.com/dr.nataliemarr Linked In linkedin.com/in/natalie-m-marr-psy-d-lp-6a9298147 Tik Tok tiktok.com/@doc.natalie DISCLAIMER: The content in this podcast and video is not a replacement for therapy and is not clinical, medical, or mental health treatment. Dr. Natalie Marr is a Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota. Her work with ⁠⁠(⁠https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠⁠⁠)⁠, ⁠(⁠⁠⁠⁠https://NatalieMarrCounseling.com⁠⁠⁠),⁠ and all affiliate social media entities is educational and coaching based ONLY. She IS NOT offering therapeutic services of any kind on these mediums. If you or someone you know is having a mental health crisis or having thoughts of suicide, please use the following crisis resources (this is not an exhaustive list of available resources):National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org⁠/⁠⁠⁠⁠ CALL 988Crisis Text Line: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.crisistextline.org/⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Text HOME to 741741

    27 min

  5. JAN 22

    The Great Unlearning: Reclaiming Self-Worth in Midlife

    Summary In this episode, Dr. Natalie explores the concept of 'The Great Unlearning,' a transformative journey that challenges the societal belief that doing everything right leads to a fulfilling life. She reflects on her personal experiences, particularly during midlife, where she realized that striving for perfection and external validation often leads to burnout and disillusionment. Dr. Natalie emphasizes the importance of self-worth and the need to reclaim it from within, rather than through external achievements or approval. Through poignant anecdotes, she illustrates how the pressure to conform to societal expectations can lead to a double life and emotional turmoil, ultimately advocating for a shift towards self-love and acceptance. Dr. Natalie introduces the metaphor of the tugboat versus the lighthouse to illustrate the difference between exhausting oneself in the pursuit of perfection and standing firm in one's self-worth. She encourages listeners to reflect on their own lives, identifying where they may be sacrificing their well-being in the name of doing everything right. The episode serves as a powerful reminder that true fulfillment comes from within, and that midlife can be an opportunity for profound personal growth and self-discovery. Keywords: midlife, self-worth, personal growth, self-love, great unlearning, emotional well-being, tugboat lighthouse metaphor, reclaiming self-worth, Dr. Natalie Takeaways: The version of you that you're most proud of may be blocking your actual life.Midlife can be an invitation to examine the mess of our lives and love it as it is.Reclaiming self-worth from the inside out is essential for true fulfillment. Sound bites: "What if I told you that the version of you that you're most proud of... is in the way of your actual life?" "Today we're gonna talk about the great unlearning." "You do not need to fix yourself. You just need to find yourself." Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to The Great Unlearning 03:49 A Holiday Dinner Reflection 10:20 The Tugboat vs. The Lighthouse 18:10 The Power of Self-Love 23:39 Reflecting on Your Journey JOIN the https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠ Mailing List! Join my newsletter and receive my FREE video and workbook, “Freeing Yourself: A Guide for Letting Go of Other People's Opinions” SIGN UP on the website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/762561/109840834025752017/share⁠⁠⁠⁠ DISCLAIMER: The content in this podcast and video is not a replacement for therapy and is not clinical, medical, or mental health treatment. Dr. Natalie Marr is a Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota. Her work with ⁠⁠(⁠https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠⁠⁠)⁠, ⁠(⁠⁠⁠⁠https://NatalieMarrCounseling.com⁠⁠⁠),⁠ and all affiliate social media entities is educational and coaching based ONLY. She IS NOT offering therapeutic services of any kind on these mediums. If you or someone you know is having a mental health crisis or having thoughts of suicide, please use the following crisis resources (this is not an exhaustive list of available resources): National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org⁠/⁠⁠⁠⁠ CALL 988Crisis Text Line: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.crisistextline.org/⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Text HOME to 741741

    28 min

  6. 12/03/2025

    Midlife Challenge - How Not to Kill Someone This Holiday Season

    Summary In this conversation, Dr. Natalie explores the emotional challenges faced by women in midlife during the holiday season, particularly in relation to hormonal changes and the pressures of self-care. She discusses the impact of menopause on emotional well-being and the importance of self-compassion as women navigate these changes. The conversation emphasizes the need for community support and acceptance of one's evolving identity during this transitional phase of life. Takeaways The holiday season can amplify feelings of irritability and self-focus in midlife women.Hormonal changes during menopause significantly affect emotional well-being.Women often prioritize others' needs over their own, leading to burnout.It's important to give oneself grace and acknowledge limitations during the holidays.Self-compassion is crucial for navigating midlife transitions.Emotional awareness shifts during menopause, leading to a more egocentric perspective.Accepting the current version of oneself is key to personal growth.Building self-awareness is essential for overcoming harmful habits.Community support can alleviate feelings of isolation during midlife.Midlife can be a time of significant personal growth and transformation.Keywords: midlife, menopause, holiday stress, self-care, emotional well-being, hormonal changes, self-compassion, personal growth, women empowerment, mental health Sound bites "We want the routine to be the same." "It's okay to give yourself grace." "You really aren't alone in this." Chapters 00:00 Navigating Holiday Emotions in Midlife 09:45 Understanding Brain Changes During Midlife 17:38 Embracing Self-Compassion and Growth in Midlife

    26 min

  7. 11/19/2025

    This is What You're Not Prepared for in Midlife

    Summary: In this conversation, Dr. Natalie discusses the challenges and transformations that occur during midlife, emphasizing the importance of adapting to changes rather than resisting them. She highlights the emotional and psychological aspects of navigating this transition and offers insights into personal growth during this critical phase of life. Takeaways: ​The life we have built may no longer serve us.​Midlife transition can lead to significant personal growth.​Resisting change can lead to a midlife crisis.​Emotional well-being is crucial during transitions.​Understanding our feelings is key to navigating change.​Support systems play a vital role in midlife adjustments.​Self-reflection can aid in personal development.​Embracing change can lead to new opportunities.​Midlife is a time for reevaluation and growth.​Adapting to change is essential for happiness. Keywords: midlife transition, life changes, personal growth, crisis management, emotional well-being Sound bites "The life that we have built is no longer gonna work for us." "Midlife transition is a critical phase." Chapters 00:00 Facing the Unpreparedness of Midlife 00:18 Grieving the Loss of Past Versions JOIN the ⁠⁠⁠⁠LearnToLoveYourStory.com (https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com) ⁠⁠ Mailing List! Join my newsletter and receive my FREE video and workbook, “Freeing Yourself: A Guide for Letting Go of Other People's Opinions” SIGN UP on the website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/762561/109840834025752017/share⁠⁠⁠⁠ DISCLAIMER: The content in this podcast and video is not a replacement for therapy and is not clinical, medical, or mental health treatment. Dr. Natalie Marr is a Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota. Her work with ⁠⁠(⁠https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠⁠⁠)⁠, ⁠(⁠⁠⁠⁠https://NatalieMarrCounseling.com⁠⁠⁠),⁠ and all affiliate social media entities is educational and coaching based ONLY. She IS NOT offering therapeutic services of any kind on these mediums. If you or someone you know is having a mental health crisis or having thoughts of suicide, please use the following crisis resources (this is not an exhaustive list of available resources): National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org⁠/⁠⁠⁠⁠ CALL 988Crisis Text Line: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.crisistextline.org/⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Text HOME to 741741

    20 min

  8. 11/05/2025

    Expert Advice on Addressing the #1 Symptom in Perimenopause

    Summary In this conversation, Dr. Natalie explores the often-overlooked symptoms of perimenopause and menopause, particularly irritability, and emphasizes the importance of community support during this transitional phase. She discusses the impact of sleep disturbances on mental health and the necessity of prioritizing self-care and self-compassion. Dr. Natalie also highlights mindfulness as a crucial practice for navigating the challenges of midlife, encouraging women to be kind to themselves and recognize that they are not alone in their experiences. Keywords perimenopause, menopause, irritability, mental health, self-care, community support, sleep disturbance, self-compassion, mindfulness, women's health Takeaways Irritability is the number one symptom of perimenopause.Sleep disturbances can lead to significant mental health issues.Women in midlife face increased rates of anxiety and depression.Self-care is essential during the perimenopausal journey.Community support can alleviate feelings of isolation.Self-compassion involves being kind to oneself during struggles.Mindfulness helps in recognizing and addressing personal suffering.Women often prioritize others over themselves, especially during this phase.Understanding hormonal changes can help in managing symptoms.It's important to acknowledge that many women share similar experiences. Sound bites "Selfish is the new self-care." "We have to be kind to ourselves." "We're all in this together." Chapters 00:00 Understanding Perimenopause and Menopause Symptoms 11:06 Navigating Irritability and Self-Care 17:16 The Importance of Self-Compassion 23:34 NEWCHAPTER JOIN the ⁠⁠⁠⁠LearnToLoveYourStory.com (https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com) ⁠⁠ Mailing List! Join my newsletter and receive my FREE video and workbook, “Freeing Yourself: A Guide for Letting Go of Other People's Opinions” SIGN UP on the website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/762561/109840834025752017/share⁠⁠⁠⁠ DISCLAIMER: The content in this podcast and video is not a replacement for therapy and is not clinical, medical, or mental health treatment. Dr. Natalie Marr is a Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota. Her work with ⁠⁠(⁠https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠⁠⁠)⁠, ⁠(⁠⁠⁠⁠https://NatalieMarrCounseling.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ (about:invalid#zCSafez) ),⁠ and all affiliate social media entities is educational and coaching based ONLY. She IS NOT offering therapeutic services of any kind on these mediums. If you or someone you know is having a mental health crisis or having thoughts of suicide, please use the following crisis resources (this is not an exhaustive list of available resources): National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org⁠/⁠⁠⁠⁠ (about:invalid#zCSafez) CALL 988Crisis Text Line: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.crisistextline.org/⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Text HOME to 741741

    26 min
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For too long, women in midlife have been the shock absorbers for their families and careers, leaving themselves last on the list. But what if the "Crisis" is actually an invitation? Join Clinical Psychologist Dr. Natalie as she helps you navigate the midlife transition with humor, heart, and science to help you shift from external validation to internal peace. The Centered Midlife is your weekly guide to unlearning the "shoulds," healing perfectionism, and reclaiming your worth. You don’t need to fix yourself; you just need to find yourself again.

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