Bring Me The Axe! Horror Podcast

Bryan and David White
  • 4.8 (62)
  • FILM REVIEWS
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Bring Me the Axe is a comedy podcast celebrating the best (and worst) horror from a time when the video store ruled the night. Every other week, brothers Bryan and Dave White (and the occasional guest) heed the call of nostalgia and evaluate the classic 70s and 80s horror movies they loved in their childhood to determine whether the movies are still relevant today or should be allowed to fade into obscurity.

  1. 2D AGO

    99CR 52: Black Belt Jones

    This week our Black History Month series continues with a look at the 1974 blaxploitation martial arts mashup, Black Belt Jones, starring Jim Kelly and Gloria Hendry. Kelly was coming in hot off of his run in the legendary Bruce Lee movie, Enter The Dragon and with Bruce dead and a public appetite ravenous for more martial arts movies it just made sense to spin off one of its stars to their own martial arts movie. Hendry was coming in off her turn as a Bond girl in Live and Let Die and a string of excellent blaxploitation movies like Black Caesar and Hell Up In Harlem. In this absolute cartoon of a martial arts movie, the mafia has bought into a valuable city project to build a new civic center in South Central Los Angeles but the only thing holding up the development is one holdout, a karate school that refuses to sell out. The mafia calls up a local loan shark to put the pressure on the school and when they accidentally kill the school's owner it's up to Black Belt Jones and the owner's daughter to team up, rip off the gangsters and get justice. Things get a little blurry between the beginning and the end but in spite of it flying by the seat of its pants and barely making any sense, the movie is a hell of a good time. Join the Bring Me The Axe Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/snkxuxzJ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Support Bring Me The Axe! on Patreon:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://patreon.com/bringmetheaxepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Buy Bring Me The Axe merch here:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.bonfire.com/store/bring-me-the-axe-podcast/⁠⁠

    1h 26m

  2. 5D AGO

    98: Friday the 13th - A New Beginning w/guest Aileen Clark (Bonus)

    It's Friday the 13th and you know what that means! This Friday we're taking on 1985's great betrayal. They said they were done with The Final Chapter. The story was told. Jason was dead. No more Friday the 13th movies for you! But money moves all tides and you can't stop Jason Voorhees so they found a way to bring him back for one more, and one more, and one more. You get the picture. Our good friend Aileen Clark from Uy Que Horror and our sister podcast, Laughing in the Dark, an Are You Afraid of the Dark rewatch pod, joins us for all the mayhem and carnage. It's five years later and Tommy Jarvis, badly traumatized by his encounter with Jason in the last movie is on his way to a half-way house after years of mental institutions. He's still haunted and as we'll see with the patients at this facility, maybe many of them aren't ready to ease back into society. If it's not bad enough that he still sees Jason everywhere he looks, a series of brutal murders happen just as he's settling in to his new space. When the dust settles, it would appear that Jason Voorhees is back for more bodies but something's up with this Jason. What could it be? Join the Bring Me The Axe Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/snkxuxzJ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Support Bring Me The Axe! on Patreon:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://patreon.com/bringmetheaxepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Buy Bring Me The Axe merch here:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.bonfire.com/store/bring-me-the-axe-podcast/⁠⁠

    1h 44m

  3. FEB 9

    97: Tales From The Hood

    YES! We're celebrating black horror for Black History month with a look at Rusty Cundieff's truly underrated horror anthology, Tales From The Hood. The film's stand-in for the Cryptkeeper, an unhinged mortician played full-tilt crazy by Clarence Williams III, guides three gangbangers through four tales of urban woe and in the process addresses police violence, domestic abuse, racism, and cycles of gang violence in a truly unexpected way. In Rogue Cop Revelation, a black police officer is haunted by the spirit of a political activist whose murder he payed a role in covering up. Unable to rest, the spirit demands the souls of the cops who killed him. In Boys Do Get Bruised young Walter lies awake at night, terrorized by a monster that stalks the halls of his home by night. In the day, his teacher notices bruises on Walter that can't be explained by the usual schoolyard bullies. Walter's imagination harnesses a terrible power to stop the violence taking place in his home. In KKK Comeuppance, a racist candidate for governor in a southern state comes under attack by the spirits of restless dead slaves when he buys an antebellum plantation as a deliberate f**k you to the black community he's campaigning in. They'll get their revenge by way of animated dolls that house their spirits. In the final episode, Hardcore Conversion, a gangbanger is given a second chance when he consents to a behavior modification program that reconditions his violent tendencies by confronting him with the consequences of his actions and equates it to the same violence committed on black people by white mobs. Will he change his ways? Join the Bring Me The Axe Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/snkxuxzJ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Support Bring Me The Axe! on Patreon:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://patreon.com/bringmetheaxepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Buy Bring Me The Axe merch here:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.bonfire.com/store/bring-me-the-axe-podcast/⁠⁠

    1h 49m

  4. FEB 2

    99CR 51: Death Wish 3

    This week we take a trip back to 1985 for a movie of such staggering stupidity that we can hardly believe it. Death Wish 3 is the continuing adventures of Paul Kersey, played by Charles Bronson and where the first movie is a pretty solid action movie and the second movie is dopey and mostly boring, Death Wish 3 commits to absurdity in a way that'll really make you think. It's a movie of such moronic prowess that the filmmakers had to go out of their way to achieve such heights of idiocy. See a crowd of children literally jump for joy over the bodies of bikers dead in the street. Marvel at a doctor doing everything he can to not break character and laugh while telling a husband that his wife died from a broken arm. This movie is truly an achievement in a year already crowded with dumb movies from Cannon. As it happens, Paul Kersey is back home in New York City to visit an old friend but he arrives in time for the man to die in his arms when the local street gang of giggling maniacs beats him to the edge of his life. Kersey will team up with a cop to put the gang on ice in a film that was literally rushed into production to capitalize on the headlines about a subway vigilante in New York City that injured three and left one man in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. Truly, only Cannon could produce such an entertaining gem. Join the Bring Me The Axe Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/snkxuxzJ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Support Bring Me The Axe! on Patreon:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://patreon.com/bringmetheaxepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Buy Bring Me The Axe merch here:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.bonfire.com/store/bring-me-the-axe-podcast/⁠⁠

    1h 44m

  5. JAN 26

    96: Videodrome w/guest Love Connie

    This week we're joined by actor, drag queen, and Debbie Harry fanatic, Love Connie, for a look at David Cronenberg's sexy and sadistic meditation on horror, television, and society: Videodrome. The early 1980s saw a revolution in consumer video. Small UHF stations broadcast trashy movies at night to compete with the larger VHF networks. VCRs and cable introduced theatrical films to the home market uncut for broadcast. Canadian media theorist, Marshall McLuhan, had some real deep thoughts on what that would mean for our society and how it would change our consciousness. Cronenberg saw a movie in there and he cast James Woods and Debbie Harry as pawns in a game played by shadowy figures using television signals to physically transform the viewers. Max Renn is an executive for CIVIC-TV, a small UHF station in Toronto, a station that broadcast violent and pornographic content. He's on the lookout for the next sensation that'll broaden his audience and he stumbles on to what appears to be a snuff show called Videodrome. It's nothing but brutality, no plot, no characters, just violence. The deeper he looks into it, the worse his hallucinations become. What's real? What's fantasy? Does it even matter? What is Videodrome doing to him? Join the Bring Me The Axe Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/snkxuxzJ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Support Bring Me The Axe! on Patreon:⁠⁠https://patreon.com/bringmetheaxepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Buy Bring Me The Axe merch here:⁠⁠⁠https://www.bonfire.com/store/bring-me-the-axe-podcast/⁠⁠

    2h 55m

  6. JAN 19

    99CR 50: What Have You Done To Solange?

    In this episode we take a trip to Italy for a look at Massimo Dellamano's 1972 giallo, What Have You Done To Solange? This Italian/German co-production was intended to capitalize on both the popularity of giallo in Italy and krimi in Germany, casting an array of English and German actors familiar to fans of krimi and Italian stars of the time for those who can't get enough giallo. A fairly grim entry into the canon, What Have You Done To Solange is a strong starting point for horror fans looking to go beyond the well-known giallo titles from Dario Argento and Mario Bava. We go over the history of giallo, the people who made it, and the economic conditions in Italy which led to its proliferation. In the story, Enrico Rosseni, a horn-dog gymnastics coach comes under suspicion in a series of brutal murders. The victims are all schoolgirls from his team and to make matters worse, his teenage girlfriend, witnessed one of the murders. He'll team up with the police and his severe German wife to crack the code and discover the real murderer, their motive, and learn the identity of the mysterious Solange, who seems to be at the center of all this. Join the Bring Me The Axe Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/snkxuxzJ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Support Bring Me The Axe! on Patreon:⁠⁠https://patreon.com/bringmetheaxepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Buy Bring Me The Axe merch here:⁠⁠⁠https://www.bonfire.com/store/bring-me-the-axe-podcast/⁠⁠

    1h 46m

  7. JAN 12

    95: Chopping Mall

    This week we're taking a trip back to 1986 for a look at Jim Wynorski's sleazy switcheroo, Chopping Mall. With a poster meant to make you think you were getting some kind of slasher movie in a mall, Chopping Mall is pretty light on chopping but positively lousy with mall. Featuring a baffling plot that could reasonably support 30 minutes of running time, some cool killer robots, an appropriate amount of T&A for a Jim Wynorski movie, and some fun performances by Barbara Crampton and Kelli Maroney, Chopping Mall is a serious relic of 80's horror that wins some and loses some. When a bunch of grown-ass adults meant to be passed of as teenagers plan an orgy at a shopping mall furniture store, everything is going great until the mall's security robots go nuts and start killing everyone in sight. They'll have to summon their wits to survive the night and wreck these killbots before they wreck them. Join the Bring Me The Axe Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/snkxuxzJ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Support Bring Me The Axe! on Patreon:⁠https://patreon.com/bringmetheaxepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Buy Bring Me The Axe merch here:⁠⁠https://www.bonfire.com/store/bring-me-the-axe-podcast/⁠⁠

    1h 51m

  8. JAN 5

    99CR 49: Breakin' 2 Electric Boogaloo

    This week we celebrate two years of 99 Cent Rental with one of the most enduring cult movies of the 80's. It's the breakdance epic from Cannon, Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo. When Cannon's million dollar dance movie pulled a huge profit in the summer of 1984, they rushed a sequel into production to capture the momentum and mere months later released Breakin' 2 with a bigger budget and a significantly smaller box office return. Breakdance fever was over but this outrageous, extremely colorful sequel stuck out in the cultural memory thanks to its ridiculous name and silly premise and we love it. Months after Special K, Ozone, and Turbo proved to the stuffy world of white people dance competitions that breakdance is dancing too, Kelly returns to Venice to catch up with her friends and finds out that everyone in Venice is now hanging out at a community center called Miracles where they all learn to dance, box, and do mime stuff. Wouldn't you know it, though? Here come some white people with designs on tearing down the community center so it's up to the TKO Crew to rally the community to raise the money they need to save Miracles. They'll overcome all obstacles with the power of breakdance. Join the Bring Me The Axe Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/snkxuxzJ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Support Bring Me The Axe! on Patreon:⁠https://patreon.com/bringmetheaxepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Buy Bring Me The Axe merch here:⁠⁠https://www.bonfire.com/store/bring-me-the-axe-podcast/⁠⁠

    1h 19m
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About

Bring Me the Axe is a comedy podcast celebrating the best (and worst) horror from a time when the video store ruled the night. Every other week, brothers Bryan and Dave White (and the occasional guest) heed the call of nostalgia and evaluate the classic 70s and 80s horror movies they loved in their childhood to determine whether the movies are still relevant today or should be allowed to fade into obscurity.

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